Michael Felger and Jim Murray discuss the DONT's of flying

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00People want me to give you something on the airplane etiquette and everything.

00:04So like I, I differentiate, you know, like annoying people on airplanes, the guy that

00:12Mike Holly said to me last night, takes off his shoes or hogs, the armrest or whatever

00:18snores or eats, or I think if you tip your seat back, you're a fricking dick.

00:24Like, I think that sort of makes you kind of a bad dude.

00:27Like it's just a person that puts their seat back, doesn't give a fuck about anything

00:31around them.

00:32They just care about themselves.

00:33Like, but that's not, that's not what I'm here to talk about.

00:37I'm here to talk about the people, the people that delay the plane.

00:43If you delay a plane for your bullshit, whatever it is, you suck.

00:50You suck a hundred times over.

00:53Like it's important.

00:54Time is the most valuable commodity out there.

00:57If you're traveling to see your family, your kids for work, whatever, and now we're sitting

01:03there on the fucking tarmac because you refuse to buckle your seatbelt, or you have to take

01:11out your headset to listen to crew member instructions, or you're being a dick about your bag.

01:16Okay.

01:17Or Odell Beckham won't respond to the stewardess or won't get, I don't even know how, how did

01:22it even start?

01:23Uh, yeah, apparently he got into it with the stewardess because the stewardess or the, the

01:27person working the plane said that he was out of control a little bit, or wasn't responding

01:31to what the flight attendant was asking him to do.

01:33So he was probably like on ambient or something and was afraid of flying and was fucked up.

01:37But what is, what are they asking you to do?

01:39Because if you're fucked up and probably like just put on your seatbelt, no, no, you're

01:43allowed to get on the plane and put on your seatbelt and fall asleep unless you're in an

01:47exit row.

01:47So if he was in an exit row, then they have to come by and say, uh, and give you the

01:53instructions and you have to verbally say, do you understand the instructions?

01:56You say yes.

01:57And then fucking pass out.

02:00If that's all you want to do, you don't have to do anything.

02:02So when he wasn't responding to what they wanted, what did they want?

02:05So it's something like buckle your seatbelt, take out your headphones, uh, listen to crew

02:10member instructions.

02:11If you're in an exit row, I mean, I can't even think you're allowed to go on the plane and fall

02:15asleep if you want.

02:16So it's not just that.

02:18So if you're that person, oh my God.

02:21And back in COVID, if you wouldn't put on a mask, you know what?

02:24I know that's a hot topic and a political thing, but still fuck you.

02:28It's an airplane.

02:29It's not about that.

02:31We're all here.

02:31We all just want to get to where we're going.

02:33So put on the fucking mask for a little bit and let's just get there.

02:36Shall we?

02:37So if you create some sort of stink for any of those personal reasons that causes the

02:44pilot to come out, the guy at the gate to come down, the cops to walk onto a plane,

02:53because what you don't want to listen to the stewardess.

02:58I don't care if the stewardess sucks.

03:00I don't.

03:00Yeah.

03:00They said she was overzealous or he was over.

03:02I don't give a fuck overzealous about what?

03:05Sit down, shut up, take out your headphone, buckle your seatbelt.

03:08What else could it possibly be?

03:10There's not that many instructions and you and the asshole bag people.

03:15It's like, here's an idea.

03:16Don't pack so fucking much.

03:17It's okay.

03:18You don't need three different outfits for one night.

03:21You don't need options.

03:22Rachel, I'm sorry.

03:23Gals, you don't need options.

03:27Well, what my wife's the same.

03:28Well, I need options.

03:29No, you don't like you pack less, but if you do, then check your goddamn bag.

03:34And so we're sitting here waiting for everyone to futz around with their bags.

03:38Sorry.

03:39Like, and if it causes the plane to be delayed and now I can't see my family for an extra

03:45out, whatever it takes because of your stupid bullshit and make no mistake.

03:49It's stupid bullshit.

03:51There's not one thing that you should be delaying the plane for.

03:55And if you have a family emergency or whatever, I'm sorry for you, but you're going to have

03:58to get off the plane and go deal with your family emergency.

04:00Oh my God.

04:02So that's Odell Beckham and anyone like that.

04:04That's my thought on that.

04:05The plane only gets delayed or stopped for two reasons in my mind.

04:09Mechanical because you don't want it to crash, obviously.

04:11And weather.

04:11Period.

04:12End of story.

04:12I couldn't be more with Mike on this.

04:15One of the biggest beliefs I have in life in any way, shape, or form is the greatest

04:18gift you can give to another person is to not inconvenience them, but especially on

04:21the airplanes.

04:22So I said during the 10 question segment, what should happen to Odell Beckham Jr.?

04:27Him.

04:27Anyone.

04:28I don't care who it is.

04:29Male.

04:29Woman.

04:30Child.

04:31Nightsticks in jail.

04:32Jail forever.

04:33I was Bernard on that too.

04:35Don't fuck up the flight plan.

04:37The plane's got to go.

04:38You got to get the hell out of here.

04:40And quick example.

04:41This is how good a person I am.

04:422015.

04:43Last time I was in Las Vegas, I was by myself meeting friends out there for a trip and I

04:48paid for like the more leg room or whatever guy next to me.

04:52He was telling me as we were on the tarmac in Boston, this is going to be his last blowout.

04:56He's got a drug problem.

04:58He's going out there to basically have this last hurrah before he comes back and goes to

05:02rehab.

05:02That's usually when bad things happen, by the way.

05:04Oh, so I see him take something out of his pocket, some kind of pills, crunch on them

05:09and swallow them.

05:11And within 10 minutes of sitting there in the tarmac, he gets like delirious, throws up

05:16into a little, you know, like one of those bags.

05:18The flight attendant knows something's up.

05:20She comes to me, kind of whispers in my ear and says, like, would you like him removed?

05:24But in my head, I said, that's going to fuck up the flight.

05:28So I go, could you just move me?

05:30And that's what she did in mid flight.

05:32She was bullshit and said, you know, we really pretty would have had to have like would have

05:36preferred to have him removed, but you wouldn't need to sign it off and give it the OK.

05:39I'm like, I'm good.

05:40Like, he's now your problem.

05:42We're getting there.

05:43That's what matters.

05:45He's his problem.

05:46Right.

05:47If he wants to fucking not off on a plane, do too many drugs, I'm sorry.

05:52But that delay would have been a delay and the plane would have been fucked up.

05:55And I had somewhere to be.

05:57We all had somewhere to be.

05:58You can't fuck up the flight because of your dumb issues or your panic attack or whatever

06:03the fuck it is.

06:04If you're not comfortable flying, don't fly.

06:06Don't leave.

06:07Don't fuck it up for everyone else.

06:08Your panic attack.

06:10Don't fly.

06:11Right.

06:12Take the train.

06:13Take a bus.

06:14I feel bad for you as a human being.

06:16Like, I personal level.

06:17Fine.

06:18There is no greater crime than taking someone's time.

06:22Taking some, we, it's a finite amount of time.

06:27And that, so like the people who drive too slow or don't go on the red light.

06:32I know these are just seconds we're talking about, but they all add up.

06:35They all add up.

06:37Don't take up someone's time.

06:39Don't be the asshole at the front of the line that when they get to the front of the line,

06:43now talks to the person behind the counter or just takes too much time when people are waiting.

06:48These are the worst kind of people.

06:49You have no recognition of what's behind you and no sort of, no sort of valve in your head

06:55that says, I'm taking this guy's time up and that's kind of rude.

07:00You know, I, it's rude of me to take his time.

07:02And they're just, that's a lot of people.

07:04And when you do it on a plane, it's exacerbated.

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