MJTV: A Car Smashed Through A Popular Tampa Bay Restaurant So We Sang About It

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00All right, first of all, the story that caught Fester's attention is that a van plowed through the First Watch restaurant on Fowler yesterday.

00:15Yeah, this is First Watch, Fowler, Hillsborough County Fire and Rescue, how to treat people.

00:21I guess some people were transported to the hospital.

00:23And according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, they say that a senior citizen driver hit the gas instead of the brake.

00:35Hit the gas instead of the brake.

00:38Another old fart makes a big mistake.

00:42We're talking right through the flipping restaurant.

00:44Scroll down.

00:45I mean, this white van.

00:47It's an Astrovan.

00:48It's a Chevy Astrovan.

00:49This white van is inside, the whole van is inside of First Watch on Fowler.

00:56The copy in the news report is exactly our jingle.

01:00Oh, it is.

01:01Verbatim.

01:02It says another old fart made a big mistake.

01:04It does.

01:06Yes.

01:06Hillsborough County spokesperson says a customer hit the gas instead of the brake.

01:12Another old fart made a big mistake.

01:15Hit the gas instead of the brake.

01:18Another old fart makes a big mistake.

01:21I like it.

01:22Print it.

01:23Anyway, luckily, nobody was seriously injured, but there were some people that were transported.

01:28The driver didn't want to be transported.

01:30Do we have an age on the driver?

01:31Hey, I'm fine.

01:32Oh, we do.

01:33102, 102 years old, driving a spiffy Chevy Astrovan.

01:38This is actually the perfect van for elderly people, because if they die, you just leave

01:41their body right in the back of the van.

01:42I don't have an age.

01:43I don't know if the driver was 102.

01:45But luckily, there were people sitting at the window table that had just cleared.

01:50There were people sitting right at the table at the window where the van made entry and

01:55smashed into the restaurant.

01:57Oh, my God.

01:58And they had gotten up just a few minutes earlier.

02:00Thank God they're fine.

02:01Yeah, this could have been a whole different story here.

02:03All right, so, Fester, you have some new jingle lyric ideas, because what we've typically

02:09done with Hit the Gas Instead of the Bragg, Another Old Fart, we've got the instrumental

02:13version, and we will sometimes write lyrics and come up with some custom versions to fit

02:19that particular story.

02:21All right, so, Fester, you want to go first, right?

02:23How many do you have?

02:24I have a couple of them.

02:25I have a couple of them.

02:25We can bounce around, though.

02:27I know Froggy's loaded as well.

02:28All right, here we go.

02:28I don't have one.

02:29All right.

02:29I can't think of nothing.

02:31All right, Fester, first to go.

02:33All right, here we go, and...

02:36They went to first watch for bacon and eggs, ended up with two broken legs.

02:43You were a little early on me.

02:44Why don't you wait for the music to come in?

02:45Yeah, you were a little early on the uptake there.

02:47I'm a writer, not a singer.

02:48That was actually pretty funny.

02:49Well, you've got to do it again.

02:50I wasn't paying attention.

02:51All right, one more time, and try to get it on time musically.

02:54All right, here we go.

02:55All right, go.

02:56They went to first watch for bacon and eggs.

02:59They ended up with two broken legs.

03:02Yeah, I like it.

03:04A little better.

03:04I mean, I know the injuries weren't that severe, but broken legs and eggs, how could I resist?

03:08You have a second one?

03:09All right.

03:10Go ahead.

03:10You ready?

03:11And...

03:12They hit the gas instead of brakes.

03:15First watch, make some great pancakes.

03:18Oh, that's not bad.

03:21That's not bad.

03:21Anybody else?

03:22Anybody else?

03:22And Roxanne, you have one?

03:23I have two.

03:24Oh, you have two?

03:24All right, here we go.

03:26Roxanne.

03:27Town down on omelets as fast as you can.

03:30Crashing through the door comes a big white van.

03:33Is it white?

03:34That's not bad.

03:35Not bad at all.

03:36Topping down on omelets as fast as you can.

03:37Why wouldn't you try to sing?

03:39Do you get a little affected sounding?

03:41Yeah, come on.

03:42Because I don't have a good singing voice.

03:43I do, however.

03:45I'll try to sing this next one, but I don't have a good singing voice.

03:48You ready?

03:49Yes.

03:50Like, when you speak, you're not affected sounding, but when you try to sing, I've noticed

03:54that it's like...

03:55Oh, my God.

03:56Because I can't sing.

03:57Oh, my God.

03:57I just saw her next one.

03:58All right.

03:59It could be the winner.

04:00All right.

04:00Here we go.

04:01And...

04:02First watch has great breakfast.

04:04It's true.

04:05But please remember, it's not a drive-thru.

04:10Rocks.

04:10Pretty good.

04:11Good job.

04:11Proud of you.

04:12That's great.

04:12Ever heard of actually doing it on the music, people?

04:16No.

04:17We're not scribbling.

04:18I'm tone deaf.

04:19Roxanne was a little early.

04:21You were a half a beat early.

04:23Let me bring Michelle on, because Michelle has always loved this particular restaurant.

04:28Hey, Michelle, locally, what restaurant have you always taken the kids to for waffles and pancakes?

04:34And one of your favorite places, historically, is...

04:39First watch?

04:40Yes.

04:41That is correct.

04:42And you're probably sleeping.

04:44But last segment, we told a story about some elderly driver smashed a van right through first watch.

04:50The one up on Fowler.

04:51Oh, no.

04:52And luckily, nobody was seriously hurt, but Fester...

04:58You know, I don't want to tell this story now, because I think you're trying to put me together.

05:02You're really tainting the audience on this.

05:05Instead of like, let's hear the facts.

05:06No, no.

05:07So Fester says to me...

05:09You've rendered your opinion before I tell the story.

05:11You're tainting the audience.

05:12You're tainting the jury pool.

05:12You've given me the facts, and yeah, this is bad.

05:16There's no tainting.

05:17You did this.

05:18You did this, and this...

05:20Then you admitted to us just now.

05:21Just what I thought that Fester couldn't be any worse of a human being, you surprised me again.

05:26How many years ago was this, by the way?

05:28It's got to be 10 years ago.

05:2910 years ago.

05:30But listen, I think this is like a two on the level of bad, and you're painting it like it's a nine and a half.

05:35MJ, can you think about this for a second?

05:36It could affect future things for Fester.

05:41Events.

05:42Listen, guess what?

05:44What is the old adage?

05:45If you don't want to get arrested, don't do illegal things.

05:49Is that the old adage?

05:50I've never heard that one.

05:51It's something like that.

05:52It's a little wordy is what that adage is.

05:54Can't stand the heat.

05:55I heard that one.

05:56One of my favorite Tampa Bay events, and I haven't been to it in a couple of years, but it's always...

06:00I am appalled.

06:01Folks, I'm going to tell you right now...

06:03Which you're going to be banned from right now on.

06:04I do not condone this behavior.

06:06I do not condone this behavior.

06:09This is hideous behavior, and Fester, you're a terrible person.

06:13All right, go ahead.

06:13Let me tell you how many people died while this.

06:16And meanwhile, Michelle's on the phone, and Michelle's like, oh my God, this involves first watch?

06:23What could this possibly be?

06:24Michelle, do you have any idea where this is headed?

06:27No idea.

06:28All right, go.

06:28Michelle, let me first tell you how many children got injured.

06:30None.

06:31How many people died?

06:32None.

06:32How many dogs were hurt?

06:34None.

06:34Okay?

06:34So it's not that bad.

06:35All right.

06:36So we're working Zoo Fari.

06:37Remember Zoo Fari?

06:38Oh, the best of times.

06:40At Zoo Tampa, the old Lowry Park Zoo.

06:42The old Lowry Park Zoo, Zoo Fari.

06:43So you were at a promotion at Zoo Fari.

06:46One of my favorite nights of the year.

06:47They have all the restaurants there.

06:50And being a mediocre, low-level local celebrity, I guess, they asked me to be one of the judges

06:56of some of the food vendors as to who was the best food vendor in this segment.

07:00Is that why they asked you?

07:01They asked me.

07:03And I get breakfast foods.

07:04Let's find the portly guy.

07:07He's got to know about food.

07:09They're right.

07:10Froggy was one.

07:10A couple.

07:11It was like...

07:11I did dessert.

07:12I get breakfast foods.

07:14Right.

07:14And I go to First Watch and I go to the other places and I kind of circle back and I have

07:17my clipboard and I'm taking notes.

07:19And the manager of First Watch comes out with like a four-inch stack of free breakfast coupons.

07:26And he's like, it sure would be nice if First Watch won this award.

07:31And he just kind of pushed it to me.

07:34And I kind of reached my hand up and took him and I go, congratulations.

07:40And I turn around and I walked away and I never saw the guy again.

07:43That's like the opposite of if somebody's angry at you and threatening you, you know, that's a nice house.

07:49It sure would be a bad, bad thing if something happened.

07:52Or like if a mobster's hitting you up for protection money for your business, well, that's a really nice story you have there.

08:00It'd be really, really sad if something happened to it.

08:03Completely opposite.

08:04You're right.

08:04Totally opposite.

08:05Yes.

08:05Totally different.

08:06It'd be really nice if First Watch won the breakfast category.

08:10What was it?

08:11It was like, MJ, right here.

08:12I just looked it up.

08:132010 Zufari category winner breakfast.

08:17First Watch.

08:18I told you guys.

08:20I looked it up.

08:21Oh my.

08:21Hey, Michelle.

08:23They have tasty pancakes, chocolate chocolate chip muffins.

08:26Well, listen.

08:26Everything's good.

08:27The bottom line is the guy didn't need to bribe you.

08:32First Watch is great.

08:34Fester, you took the bribe?

08:36He would have won anyway.

08:38That's what I was thinking.

08:39He would have won anyway.

08:41It's so good, you are still going to vote for him.

08:42But what's a four-inch stack?

08:43500 of them?

08:45I've used them for years.

08:46I think I still have a couple to have.

08:47Fester's still using them.

08:49Fester's going on these coupons to breakfast on Saturday morning.

08:51The coupons are so old now, they're starting to fray.

08:54But I'm like, here you go.

08:55Was there an expiration date on these things?

08:57No expiration date.

08:58No expiration.

08:58Oh my God.

08:59Oh yeah.

08:59That was great.

09:00We were there so much, they didn't even have to ask us what our order was.

09:03Yeah.

09:04That's great.

09:04Yeah, really.

09:05Yeah, the South Tampa one on Henderson.

09:07The one on Fletcher, the one that the van plowed into.

09:10I've been to that one 20 times, man.

09:11I love that store.

09:12Fester, Fester, Fester.

09:13Terrible.

09:14All right, Michelle.

09:15I'm just, just when Fester can't surprise me anymore with some kind of underhanded lowbrow

09:20thing, now we find out he took a bribe for a food contest that they probably would have

09:25won anyway.

09:26It wasn't a bribe like, you know, two or three free breakfast.

09:28It was like a hundred free breakfast.

09:30Really nice if we happen to win this category.

09:33Sure would be nice if we won.

09:34You know, because Zufari at the zoo, that really will make or break your operation.

09:40Real prestigious award.

09:42All right, Michelle, can you think of anything else that could lower our opinion of Fester?

09:48Not off the top of my head.

09:50Hey, Michelle, do you want to go to breakfast this week?

09:52My treat.

09:53Absolutely.

09:54Bring me those coupons.

09:54I got coupons.

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