Fester Cut His Own Hair And It Looks Awful

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00Unbeknownst to you, Fester, I was able to snap a picture of you about an hour ago.

00:08This is the MJ Morning Show here on Q105, and Fester, I got a question for you.

00:14Yes, sir.

00:17And Froggy noticed this, and he says, MJ, you gotta look at Fester.

00:22Did you do some personal grooming last night before you went to bed?

00:30Yeah, yesterday was Around the World Wednesday.

00:35All right, would you please...

00:39Froggy, you know what Around the World is, right?

00:41Everything.

00:41Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, you know what I mean?

00:43Everything in between.

00:44All right, so Fester, yes or no, did you do some personal grooming yesterday?

00:48Yeah, I have a clipper.

00:50What time of day did you do the personal grooming?

00:547.45, 7.30.

00:57Good evening.

00:57Does anybody monitor your work?

01:00No.

01:00How do you do it?

01:02Okay.

01:03Did your wife see you after you did your personal grooming by any chance?

01:09Allison takes the kids to church on Wednesday night, so the kids and Allison were out of

01:12the house, so I was there alone, and I go out in the front yard, smoke a big old cigar,

01:17stink like hell, come inside, take a shower, shave my face, shave my head.

01:21Okay, so you...

01:22Shaved everything I like.

01:24Stop.

01:24No, stop.

01:25Stop.

01:26Stop it.

01:26Except my back.

01:27So, yeah, exactly, because that's like a shag carpet.

01:30That's like carpet discounters back there.

01:32All right, so you shaved your head.

01:34Yes.

01:35Oh, Coop's loving this, because Coop, I had you post the picture.

01:38Yes.

01:39It's pretty funny, isn't it?

01:40It was funny, but also really kind of gross.

01:42Yeah.

01:43It is a little gross.

01:45What?

01:45What type of clippers?

01:46Just like wall clippers?

01:48Yes.

01:48I think it's Remington brand, but they're like yellow, and they're meant for, you know,

01:52shaving heads.

01:53It's a Flobie.

01:54You're like George Clooney.

01:55My hair's not that long.

01:56No, it's not a Flobie.

01:57Now, when you shave your head...

01:59Yes.

02:00You've got stubble, so you've cut it very short, but there's just stubble.

02:05This is clipper length.

02:06I don't use a guard for this.

02:07Okay.

02:08It looks good.

02:09So the metal blade is right on your head.

02:11Yes.

02:11All right.

02:12Fester, let me scroll down the screen so you can see the image that we just posted.

02:18Okay.

02:19On our website, and Froggy loves this.

02:22Oh, God.

02:23Froggy says to me...

02:23Oh, Froggy.

02:24Go back on your mic.

02:25Oh, God.

02:26Froggy says to me an hour ago...

02:28Go ahead, Froggy.

02:29What'd you tell me?

02:30I said there's something going on with the back of Fester's head.

02:33And you go, what?

02:34And I go, I don't know.

02:36Oh, God.

02:37It looks like there's something back there.

02:39What happened?

02:40Fester, you left two clumps of hair back there.

02:43Listen, I'm sorry if this offends anybody, but it's like you got two Hitler Mustangs.

02:48Fester's on the back of your head.

02:49Oh, my God.

02:50It is.

02:51Oh, my God.

02:52Fester...

02:52Tufts.

02:53Tufts of hair.

02:54Oh, they're there.

02:56Oh, you feel them?

02:57I just...

02:59I just scrolled the screen up so Fester could see the back of his head.

03:05Actually, you know what?

03:05That looks like a good place to play tic-tac-toe.

03:08Oh, my God.

03:09So, Fester, did you notice that when you were pouring yourself coffee in the kitchen about

03:14an hour ago that I was right behind you?

03:16I saw you in there, but I didn't know what you were there for.

03:18Well, I was behind you trying to surreptitiously snap a photo over the back of your head.

03:22I thought you were getting like a bottle of water or something.

03:24You missed clumps of hair.

03:26Dude.

03:26I want to see you go to work.

03:28I want to see you go...

03:29After the morning show, I want to see you go to RV, General RV, where you work.

03:34I want to see you try to sell RVs.

03:36Well, sir, can I draw a face on the back of your head?

03:39Turn it upside down.

03:40It looks like a face.

03:41Whose face are you going to draw after he said that mustache name?

03:44Hitler's.

03:45No.

03:46Fester left clumps on the back of his head.

03:50It's disgusting.

03:51Looks like little islands of...

03:53It's hair.

03:53Well, one big clump is on that fat roll that's going right across the back of the middle of your head.

03:59Is it hard to shave?

04:00I mean, look at that fat roll.

04:02Like, look at that.

04:03Okay, well, I have to look all the way down and stretch the roll out and kind of shave in the middle of it.

04:08Do you ever use the mirror trick?

04:09You know when you're at the barber and they take the mirror and they hold it behind your head

04:13so you can see what the back of your head looks like in the mirror in front of you?

04:16No, because I have to shave in the shower so the hair falls in the shower.

04:19Folks, you've got to take a look at this image of Fester's clumps of hair that he missed.

04:25Oh, man.

04:25I missed this one by my neck, too.

04:26Fester had no idea that I took this picture.

04:28You didn't know that I was, like, right behind you?

04:31You couldn't sense?

04:31I thought you were getting a bottle of water.

04:32It's a small kitchen.

04:33I thought you were in there for something.

04:34Your neck has three levels.

04:36It's a triplex.

04:40That's funny.

04:40Look at that thing.

04:41You ought to rent out one of the floors on your...

04:43That's funny.

04:45I don't know if I'm more horrified.

04:46All right, fine.

04:46Okay, fine.

04:47And the hair looks like the window.

04:48What if we flipped the picture upside down?

04:50You could almost, like, then draw symmetrical hair tufts on the other side.

04:54It would look like a face.

04:55Yeah, almost.

04:56Folks, the image is up on our website.

04:58If you want to see Fester's personal grooming and hygiene disaster...

05:02I missed the spot with the shaver.

05:04It's not a federal case here, okay?

05:06It looks ridiculous.

05:07Look at it before breakfast.

05:09It looks like there are, like, mutant caterpillars stuck to the back of your head.

05:13All right, MJMorningShow.com.

05:17And what's the caption we put up there?

05:20Prepare to be horrified.

05:21I think it was, like, Fester, you missed a spot.

05:23Hey, Fester, you missed a spot.

05:26I'm going to keep my pencils and pens right there.

05:28All right, it's up at MJMorningShow.com.

05:30Oh, that's right.

05:32Wouldn't that be a good spot?

05:33Oh, yeah.

05:34The rolls in the back of Fester's head.

05:37You can just stick a pencil in there or a pen.

05:39How do I keep my lipstick in there?

05:41It's always there.

05:43Roxanne, this isn't Fantasy Island, okay, sweetheart?

05:45But thank you for offering.

05:46I appreciate it.

05:47All right, so the images...

05:48If you want to see the back of Fester's head...

05:50I laughed out loud.

05:52It looks like it.

05:52All right, fine.

05:53I missed a spot.

05:54I'm sorry, guys.

05:54No, you missed two spots.

05:55Two spots.

05:56All right, the image is up at MJMorningShow.com if you want to take a look.

06:00MJMorningShow.com to see the picture of Fester.

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