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Felony Ham Heist
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman in Ohio who has been charged with a felony after she was caught stealing over $9,000 worth of deli meats from the grocery store where she worked.
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
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00:00
so a grocery store employee at bolivar ohio with a hankering for lunch meat is facing felony
00:11
theft charges i assume she's a bigger lady okay how much lunch meat dollar wise do you think this
00:21
woman managed to eat managed to eat eat eat uh how much is like lunch meat is cheap right out of it
00:32
because i've been in i know this story i already know the story too well let okay break it down
00:37
this way say like a package of lunch meat is we'll just say it's like four bucks okay i'm gonna give
00:42
you it was mainly ham but a little bit of salami too but mainly ham an insane amount 250 bucks
00:51
9 200 i just can't stop once i pop ham ma'am where's our all of our hams well i think you
01:04
can tell by the glistening face i have i understand you got into some ham but ma'am we had nine
01:15
thousand dollars worth of ham and 250 dollars worth of salami it's not here anymore where
01:22
where is it i told you months ago that i could not be dressed around the ham let alone the salami
01:28
problem i got that's that's god i'm just starting to dip my toe in the salami game i get it so you
01:34
took our ham where is the ham so i didn't take your ham no i i dined on your ham for months and
01:42
months and i've been eating ham since i started here oh and that's it oh so so bit by bit i thought
01:50
it was a one time i thought it was one time for a long period of time ham's been going missing at
01:57
this giant eagle store in ohio i'm as confused as you guys are we're not as confused i don't know
02:06
who would have taken you know you really you got some honey glaze on your face do i yeah i'm as
02:12
confused as you guys are i don't know where it is you smell like ham well that's just my natural
02:19
i just don't seem to say that about me go eat a rice cake well that's genetically different from
02:37
pigs so of course i smell like ham you and your pilates yeah why don't you go do some kind of
02:45
yoga pose rice cake chick first to point your long slender fingers
02:50
yeah don't just squish you with my salsa chance so um they finally realized they'd been missing
02:59
ham for a long time oh man and um when they questioned her she admitted yes she had been
03:05
eating ham every day after eight years look i'm gonna shoot straight eight years eight years
03:12
i've been living this long because i feel better it feels so much better get this off my shoulders
03:18
i knew it was like 25 000 pounds of ham just weighing down on me i couldn't believe i got away
03:24
with it as long as i did no one noticed i got to four thousand dollars worth of ham and i just said
03:32
oh they must not care they must just not care they didn't and they obviously didn't i'm like
03:40
where are you guys have you seen all of the ham some beast must have wandered in off the streets
03:47
oh my god you're right just don't throw it off with several loaves of it she admitted she'd been
03:53
eating slices and slices of ham every day for eight years and she also dipped into salami too
03:59
so she would have the ham maybe just just cut off like a couple little slices
04:05
yeah one for me yeah i ate one slice of ham every minute for the last 20 years of my employment
04:11
so excuse me sir you wanted uh one pound of ham so it's one pound of ham for you so half a pound
04:20
for me you got insider tip someone else gay sold her down the river probably your skinny bitch
04:27
co-worker yeah exactly i know it was you bitch listen you and i are the only ones in the ham room
04:33
i know you fingered me
04:35
um so she admitted to the theft late friday after questioning from the loss prevention manager
04:45
how they calculated so sure that it wasn't that skinny bitch you ate nine thousand dollars worth of
04:51
ham oh she's a vegan sir she's never touched the ham jeez she's not even uh around the ham ma'am oh man
04:58
so um they calculated that to be worth about ninety two hundred dollars and um because it was a high
05:06
amount she's been charged with felony theft before i knew it i just got in too deep sometimes you go
05:12
all in on ham sometimes you win sometimes you lose does she go to prison for this what's felony
05:18
theft yeah like you're in prison for ham yeah what are you in here for what do you think i'm in here
05:23
for i don't know i'm in here for the ham heist of the century
05:26
ham heist of the century it is though it is it really it kind of is she ate 1900 pounds
05:37
got away with two full pigs under the radar too
05:41
nine years
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