Skip to player
Skip to main content
Skip to footer
Search
Connect
Watch fullscreen
Like
Comments
Bookmark
Share
Add to Playlist
Report
Andy the Vampire
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy in Romania who lives his life as a vampire and the show imagines what it would be like if Andy became Count Greenbean.
Category
đŸ˜¹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
ah there is this nut job in romania claiming to be a real life vampire looks like he's just like
00:11
an 80s goth guy oh yeah yeah i like him i like him already i'll show you his pics in a second
00:17
he lives on the grounds of bran castle in transylvania sweet he spends his days drinking
00:22
the blood of volunteers people he calls his black swans and he meditates by laying down in a coffin
00:28
that's where he says he connects with the souls of the dead
00:31
huh here's this guy's uh
00:35
yeah he's total 80s goth guy there he is there he almost looks like you're a magician man
00:44
oh he does look like um so he like a christ angel remember the lost boys yeah he doesn't fulfill
00:52
himself through sexual deviance like the modern vampires do ah he said that's not the way of
00:57
the vampire what does he do um mainly drinks the blood of willing volunteers
01:02
and meditates inside his coffin that's it i don't get being a vampire if you're not going to do all
01:09
the cool sex stuff that's the only reason to become a vampire i mean literally it's the only reason i've
01:13
ever been on the fence about it yeah you're thinking about becoming a vampire i thought about it i mean
01:18
that's a lot of wild sex that's the number one reason wild vampire sex andy the vampire
01:24
i'm like hey guys this is me now deal with it all right i'm doing wild things at night
01:31
i'll just say this there's a certain percentage of girls out in the world
01:38
that will have sex with you because you've dressed like a vampire and good morning
01:43
lisa chuck dave andy something's different about you yeah i'm a vampire now oh is that it deal with
01:50
it time's got tough yeah you went after the four percent of chicks that will bang a vampire
01:55
exactly right that's it crazy crazy sex and your hair is super long now yeah yeah you let that go a
02:02
little bit the ladies like it that's a long black jacket cape yeah you gotta i guess this is hot topic
02:08
oh that's awesome isn't that cool would you do the nails no i wouldn't do the nails stop there i'd have
02:14
some dignity about it black nails i would have an amulet okay of course a big ruby filled amulet yeah
02:20
you'd have to would you drink blood i'd drink tomato juice yeah so you'd be like a half-ass
02:27
i'd be a half-ass vampire super half-ass vampire the tomato juice you'd have to have your tums with
02:31
you i would that's high acid you're right yeah i'm really good that's the vampires my vampire kit
02:37
comes completely with tums you know because on account of my acid it's a vampire diet's real bad
02:46
on the gutty works it is lisa's right the greens are an ulcery vampire clan
02:51
yeah yeah would you have an accent or you're just gonna sound just like i'd just be me
02:57
i'd just be me a little more pale maybe okay like some black lipstick
03:03
a little white powder on your face yep well yeah you know coffin hey where you sleeping these days
03:11
you guys have your hobbies all right i have mine listen dude i get it listen whenever there's these
03:18
guys i don't really blame them because they're going after a niche market of chicks it's always
03:26
this guy says it's not about sex but it's about sex yeah it is yeah no he says that's not what i know
03:34
that's what he says but i guarantee he's having sex it's like i'm like there's my tums uh-huh i'm
03:41
like there's my powder for my face there's a whole bunch of condoms yeah yeah just a stream of
03:49
no vampire is complete without this lube yeah your vampire red lube red
03:54
your laugh's different now i've noticed
04:02
no it's not oh yeah you need to laugh like that though this is this is me now my god
04:09
i dated a guy very briefly several years ago we were having sex uh unfortunately in the middle of it
04:14
i got my period so embarrassed but he said oh don't worry i actually like that oh that's when he
04:21
reached down no no nope she said i was speechless and left immediately yeah count green bean will be
04:29
like whoa whoa whoa whoa time out time out time out you're a vampire
04:34
we gotta stop lady that is um not my bag i know you're running me up too i need a i got the reflux
04:45
vampire tums can't wait for the day that andy goes vampire that's why i'm grabbing my amulet and i'm
04:57
getting out of here
Recommended
6:32
|
Up next
Andy Goes Within
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
7:55
Andy is a Fancy Fool
Beasley Digital
4/23/2025
9:55
Peep Show: Andy Runs Alone
Beasley Digital
4/23/2025
22:12
Meet The Real Life Vampires | HOOKED ON THE LOOK
Truly
11/28/2022
4:59
Andy Joins the Wiggles
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:44
Chuck and Andy Say Goodbye
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
7:12
Entered the Wrong House
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
6:38
Andy's German Neighbors
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:22
Peep Show: Ass Eating Disease?!?
Beasley Digital
4/23/2025
6:13
Andy's Funderdome
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:06
Ohhh Andy
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:16
Andy's Childless Life
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
6:20
Dave & Andy's Beach Vacation
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
2:30
Vampire Attraction - Candice King, Daniel Gillies e Chase Coleman analisam vampiros brasileiros
adorocinema
5/13/2017
5:42
Andy on Elderly Radio
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
7:00
Peep Show: Hands Up Andy
Beasley Digital
4/22/2025
5:37
Struck By Lightning
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:07
Vampire Blues
Cultmovienetwork
2/8/2016
4:01
‘The Vampire Dairies’ Michael Trevino & Julie Plec On Klaroline & the Show Ships
Entertainment Weekly
8/18/2021
6:22
Andy Defends Himself
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
3:42
Andy's Drunk Interview
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:47
Robes and Nightgowns
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
6:49
1980's Miami Andy
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
5:07
Andy as Harry Potter
Beasley Digital
4/17/2025
0:56
Vampires meet Game of Thrones in this New Show
NowThis
11/28/2016