Diners, Dying, and Dongs

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an experience Lisa had at a spooky rest area in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and Andy thinks going to creepy rest stops would make for a great travel show.

Transcript

00:00Although I've only stopped at a rest stop like a couple of times in my life with my whole family,

00:10I just thank God I didn't have to deuce there with the little half.

00:13The rest stop.

00:14The half walls.

00:15Oh yeah, I forget they have those half.

00:17It's just your torso's out, right?

00:19Your torso's out.

00:20But they don't have the half in the women's bathroom at rest stops.

00:23Well, because it's the guys that are all blowing each other.

00:25Yeah, exactly.

00:25It's only some rest stops, right?

00:27Because most of them, I've seen normal ones.

00:30The rest stops on the way to Chicago definitely have the half walls.

00:33The half wall, what a weird...

00:35Have you ever been to a rest stop in the UP?

00:38No, I have not.

00:39In the Upper Peninsula of Michigan?

00:41I thought I would die.

00:44Because it was spooky, there was no one there.

00:46It was just like in the woods, this little rest stop.

00:49And I thought, this is it, you'll never see me again.

00:51This is where I die!

00:52I disappear here.

00:53A UP rest stop, I never even...

00:56You could just name a horror movie there.

00:58In the Middle of Nowhere.

01:00No.

01:00Totally terrifying.

01:01No, I'm just going to poop in a forest.

01:04You should have made Lenny come in with you or something.

01:06Well, he did, but still...

01:08I'm sure he was standing guard.

01:10It was still scary.

01:11There was no one around.

01:12There was a vehicle out there, but I didn't see anyone.

01:15Where are they?

01:17Where are they?

01:18They're gone.

01:19Are they dead?

01:20No, they're gone.

01:21Or is that the killer hiding in the toilet, Lee?

01:23That's probably the one guy who lives there.

01:24Was he under the toilet?

01:26There's a couple of gay guys in the bushes doing it.

01:28That's all.

01:28No big deal.

01:29Do you think that's what it was up in the UP?

01:31There was a car, just nobody around.

01:33Nobody around was weird.

01:33Where'd they go?

01:35I'm sure you didn't look down in the toilet.

01:36You would have seen that guy's face looking up at you.

01:39That's...

01:39It was just a creepy man.

01:40Took a lot of risks.

01:41Take a lot of risks.

01:41Take a lot of risks just to see some trees.

01:45I didn't want to see trees.

01:47You know what I mean?

01:47It wasn't about the trees.

01:48You go up there and...

01:49I went up to the UP and I got out of the UP so fast.

01:53I like sped out of there.

01:54I was there for less than 24 hours.

01:57I'm kidding.

01:58I was like, I'm out of here.

01:59There's nothing up here.

02:00I gotta go.

02:01You're like, there is the car with nobody around it and a rest stop that looks right

02:06out of Rob Zombie's head.

02:08Seriously, I'm not taking any chances.

02:10I can't believe Lisa went to the haunted UP.

02:12I did.

02:13I can't believe I did that.

02:14It makes me want to have a travel show where I just go to the scariest rest stops.

02:19That's a great idea for a travel show.

02:22Just like the spookiest.

02:24Yeah.

02:25Just like filming it from afar.

02:28Look at it.

02:29I can't believe he's about to do it.

02:31I'll be like, I'm outside of some god-awful place in Alabama and Daddy Long Legs have taken

02:37this rest stop.

02:38Daddy Long Legs have taken the rest.

02:40They all form a man who cleans it.

02:42Yeah.

02:43How you doing over there?

02:45Easy for coming.

02:46How you doing over there?

02:47Daddy Long Legs, man.

02:50We're a man now.

02:52Interview those guys.

02:53Yeah.

02:54The rest stop workers.

02:56What have they seen?

02:58Come on.

02:59This guy says, you guys are a bunch of pussies.

03:01You should come on a ride with me in my truck, and I'll show you some scary rest stops, truck

03:07stops.

03:08Oh, yeah.

03:08Of course.

03:08That'll be...

03:09That'll be...

03:10It's like diners, drive-ins, and dives, except it's the hell version of that.

03:15Right.

03:17Hell's version.

03:18I want you to do it the exact same way, though.

03:20I want you to have like a red, old school, red car.

03:24I'm like, come on down.

03:25We're going to the scariest rest stop.

03:27You can even imagine exactly.

03:29Oh, today's hell's driver's dive.

03:33That's what I want.

03:35I want you to have the hairdo and the glasses.

03:38All that in the same.

03:39You gotta have this catchy little jingle, too.

03:41Yeah, exactly.

03:42Today we're going right outside of Chattanooga, Tennessee to see a real nightmare of a rest stop.

03:48Come check it out with me.

03:52Exactly.

03:53That's what I want.

03:56Hi, Nick in Tampa.

03:57Good morning.

03:59Good morning.

04:01Good morning.

04:02Good morning.

04:02So, have you had a scary rest stop encounter?

04:06Yes, I have.

04:07It was in Latson, South Carolina.

04:10I'm a service guy, so I depend on using the rest stops a lot.

04:15I'm using the urinal.

04:18He looks straight up and down at me and, like, is smiling the entire time as he's eyeballing my junk.

04:29Oh, yeah.

04:30Well, I mean, that's an average stop at the rest of my story.

04:35That's the other thing that you see.

04:37That's the main thing.

04:38That's the other thing.

04:38That happens 80% of the time, 20% of the time you die.

04:44Driving, dying, and dicks.

04:45Maybe that's driving, dicks, and dying.

04:50Driving, dicks, and dying.

04:54Get away, hillbilly!

04:56Get away!

04:57What do you say?

04:58Hillbilly!

05:00Go on out of here, hillbilly!

05:02It's just driving, dying, and dicks.

05:04It's just driving, dying, and dicks!

05:06Wow, that was a close one.

05:07That was super scary!

05:08Tomorrow, I'm going to rural Utah!

05:16It's just hilarious to me that you'd almost die on the show a couple times.

05:20Every time, I think.

05:21Every time, you know.

05:22That would be exciting.

05:22That's a ratings getter right there.

05:24Oh, my God.

05:25You'd almost die every time?

05:26Driving, dying, and dicks?

05:27Yeah, that's a ratings getter.

05:28Oh, man.

05:29Oh, my God.

05:29Huge Netflix show.

05:31Get out of here, hillbilly!

05:32There's a lot of that.

05:33I bet every episode there's one time where I say, leave me alone, hillbilly!

05:36That's, like, your catchphrase you're known for.

05:41What if you love shirts with them?

05:43Exactly!

05:44Yeah.

05:46Leave me alone, hillbilly!

05:48Triple D, and then, like, leave me alone, hillbilly.

05:51Yeah, it does not flavor down.

05:52It's leave me alone, hillbilly.

05:54Leave me alone, hillbilly!

05:55No.

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