Old Man Bomb Threat

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a 76-year-old Florida man who threatened to blow up an urgent care facility because he didn't want to wait in line.

Transcript

00:00It sucks to be old.

00:11If you're an old guy, and you don't want to wait in line with everyone else at the doctor's office.

00:18That's right.

00:19What do you do?

00:20Barrels through the front of the place!

00:22Drive your car right off a cliff!

00:24Drive it right to the goddamn doctor's office!

00:27Why does he take so long?

00:28What's he doing?

00:30Well, pull out a gun.

00:31He made the appointment.

00:32Threaten everybody.

00:33He told me the time.

00:34Shoot someone.

00:35Fake a heart attack.

00:37Stab one of the nurses.

00:39Throw nine throwing knives.

00:41Break the fish tank.

00:44Mates everyone.

00:46You haven't nailed it yet.

00:48This is out of Vero Beach, Florida, where this happened.

00:50Pull out your wiener.

00:52Throw an alligator at somebody.

00:55Released one million spiders.

00:57Bring in a swarm of bees.

01:02Or threaten to blow the blazer.

01:06Oh.

01:07Classic blow the blazer.

01:08What was that there?

01:09What was that there?

01:09Classic bomb threat.

01:10Yep.

01:11Authorities investigating a possible bomb threat yesterday.

01:14After an old dude walked into an urgent care clinic saying he wanted to see a doctor immediately.

01:19A 76 year old guy had gone into the Vero Beach urgent family care.

01:24He was carrying a small black box.

01:29He said he wasn't feeling well.

01:30And if he didn't get care immediately, his box would tick down to four.

01:36And something bad would happen.

01:38I set all my explosives to four.

01:42That is crazy.

01:43What does four mean?

01:44It normally goes down to zero.

01:46Ten.

01:46Nine.

01:47Eight.

01:47Hey.

01:48Seven.

01:49Hey.

01:49Six.

01:49No.

01:50Five.

01:51Oh, God.

01:51Four.

01:52Four.

01:55Kaboom.

02:00It's an odd one, you know?

02:02It really is.

02:02It is odd.

02:03It's just crazy.

02:05Something bad will happen when it counts down to four.

02:08I wonder if he got better at it.

02:09Like, he got the box now, but he started off with, like, a bowling ball, and he just hot

02:13glue gunned a, like, shoestring to it.

02:15He's like this.

02:16Yeah, his box is more impressive.

02:18It's a device.

02:20Sir, that's a bowling ball with a shoestring on it.

02:22You got that right.

02:23You better hope it doesn't get to four.

02:26Ten.

02:29Man, every action movie would end horribly because they always go right to the last second,

02:35right?

02:36They're trying to disarm that bomb right to the last second.

02:39Every other movie, they blow up at four.

02:40Yeah, exactly.

02:41That's how you trick everybody.

02:43Yeah.

02:43Four.

02:43They think they got those last couple seconds to think.

02:46And they don't.

02:47Wow.

02:47You don't.

02:47You're dead.

02:48The world is destroyed.

02:49Four, you dummies.

02:55Seven.

02:56Six.

02:56Five.

02:58Four.

02:58Kaboom!

02:59I got plenty of time.

03:01I can still do this bomb.

03:03Red.

03:03Three.

03:03Blue.

03:04Red.

03:04Blue.

03:05Boom!

03:05Oh!

03:06Four!

03:07Yeah, exactly.

03:08They call him the four bomber.

03:10Yeah.

03:10He's got, like, angel wings, and you're like, four?

03:13Who does that?

03:15I do.

03:16You're sick.

03:17I know.

03:18That's why I need a doctor.

03:20When he realized their reaction was not just to escort him into the doctor's office and instead

03:26call authorities, he jumped into his gold Chevy Tahoe with the box and was starting to

03:32drive away when officers detained him.

03:34So that must have taken him quite a bit of time to get back to the Chevy Tahoe, get in,

03:37and start to drive.

03:38That's a big vehicle, so he's probably like, reverse?

03:40So they got his...

03:42Reverse forward.

03:44Oh, my God.

03:45So many times.

03:46Yeah, it took him 35 times.

03:48Well, the cops got him in the parking lot, so he didn't get far.

03:51Reverse forward.

03:52So they blew his box up, so we'll never know what it was.

03:55They just said it wasn't an explosive device.

03:57Yeah.

03:58They blocked traffic there for six hours while this whole thing unfolded.

04:02Could you imagine?

04:03I know.

04:04Listen, I hate a line now, and I know as I get older, I will really hate a line.

04:07Yeah.

04:08And your patience wears thin, and you run out, but you can't threaten to blow the place up.

04:11No.

04:12Right?

04:12You can't.

04:12No.

04:13It just doesn't work.

04:13Even if you're in your late 70s.

04:15I know what he was thinking.

04:16He's like, this place will clear out.

04:19It'll clear out, right?

04:20Yeah.

04:20He'll be the last one there.

04:22The staff clears out, too.

04:24Yeah.

04:24He didn't think at all.

04:25No, he didn't.

04:26He sure didn't.

04:27If you're old enough, you just pull your pants down and say, I'm confused.

04:30And then they usher you into the back.

04:32He'll get you right in there.

04:33Help me.

04:33You're right.

04:34I think I pooped.

04:35Something like that.

04:37Help me.

04:37That'll get you.

04:38Help me.

04:39Oh, come on.

04:40It's all right.

04:40Help.

04:41Put your pants back up.

04:42We'll get you in right away.

04:44If you forget, you can just leave a note in your pocket and tell you what to say.

04:47Yeah.

04:48I'm confused.

04:49I just walk right in and fall right on my face.

04:52Yep.

04:54I bet I get to see someone real quick.

04:57That's how you do it.

05:01Yep.

05:01No bomb necessary.

05:03Thankfully.

05:04It wasn't a real bomb.

05:05No one injured.

05:05Just a crazy day for the folks in Vero Beach.

05:09Jeez.

05:10With an old guy who just wants to get to the front of the line.

05:12You

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