Retail Freakouts

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about what it's like having to deal with rude and crazy customers while working in retail.

Transcript

00:00i was just actually i met one of these guys yesterday unfortunately um i had to go to home

00:08depot to pick something up and there was this big nasty smelly man yeah and as this woman's

00:16trying to help me he's like can i pay for this jesus he walks right up in between us and i look

00:22at the dude and she's like sir i'm helping someone currently he's like i just want to pay for this

00:28is that all right she's like yes of course but when i'm finished with the customer i'm currently

00:34helping yeah she was in the middle of a transaction with me yeah and i look at the guy i'm like yeah

00:38i'm currently getting stuff and he's like he looks at me and he looks at her and she's like they're

00:45all effing idiots well he's got a point and he's right it could have been a thing though like that

00:51guy could cuckoo and well yeah that's it mental but i mean cuckoo and a boom boom

00:56what does that mean she speaks like her own little sound effect yeah

01:07but he just wanted you know like ching ching walk you know what i mean that's all he wanted

01:23you just want a ching ching everybody wants a ching ching walk walk wrong yeah

01:28pitter patter pitter patter you know ching ching pitter patter that's what he wanted but now you

01:34got cuckoo and a boom boom that's what he could have done when you do the craziest thing in front

01:39of lisa like it's upper echelon crazy that's what she does she goes a cuckoo um someone said that they

01:45worked as a hylo operator in a steel yard and a construction worker came in for a pickup he threw

01:51a shovel at me and said throw this out like the piece of trash you are said i'd never met this man

01:58before well my ex marine co-worker strolled over i'm gonna take care of this one calmly

02:05calmly picked up the shovel and proceeded to beat his ass with it then called my boss on the phone to

02:12explain best day at work ever hey boss i had to beat someone's ass with a shovel today you did yeah

02:19that's right oh he came in through a shovel at rick okay does he know rick or uh no he called him a

02:27piece of trash so i just i gotta be honest with you yeah he's barely hanging on to life you beat him

02:32within an inch of his life i did he's right on the edge all right well you get you do bang up work so

02:37appreciate you thanks thanks boss i'm gonna handle this right now oh man uh kyle's with us on the

02:46david chuck lines on a regular line here hey kyle good morning combat trained mhm good morning guys

02:52how you doing good uh long time listener first time caller thank you man um for like maybe six or

02:58seven years when i was a younger man i worked at taco bell yeah one day we had no mild sauce

03:04in the store whatsoever oh my god jesus i think i'm like one of the more bubbly human beings like

03:10i'm happy i i want to make people happy in the drive-thru so i give him a huge spiel like

03:15buenos noches welcome to taco bell that jazz yeah and uh

03:19i think he gets so flustered to the point that he's like trying to swing on me over some mild sauce

03:28it's always the sauce i wrote you a letter of apology

03:31it was a moment of weakness i needed the mild sauce kyle okay yeah just let it go that's

03:39those uh drive-thru sauces are a high stakes game they are they are yeah i mean i make sure you get

03:46it right see i think um like there was a time for me where i would not go any hotter of a sauce

03:54than mild i like hot however i think that when i went hotter it was because of this i was like well

04:04you know what that was all you had give me what do you have and they're like well we have i'm like

04:08give me the goddamn sauce then whatever you got yeah you go back down you buy me some goddamn sauce

04:15i'm probably gonna poop for 20 straight days it's gonna burn my ass we have it hot what do you got

04:22give me a den oh god this is gonna be terrible putting it on wrapping it up just right you know

04:30what that's pretty good i think i like the heart now um we're talking about people who freak out in

04:37retail situations uh someone said i used to work in an adult novelty shop one day this guy came in and

04:42was clearly stealing the silicone eight inch dildos and stuffing him in his pants james why

04:48is everybody gonna message the show about all the things i've been up to i know um they said i

04:53confronted him and asked him to remove said dildos from his sweatpants then he accused me of staring

04:58at his dong are you staring at my dong nope the dildos he ran out of the store calling me a dirty

05:05whore and while he was running five eight inch hot pink dildos fell out of his pants he was so

05:11embarrassed he started crying and was never to be seen again that has to be the hardest retail

05:16one of the hardest retail jobs adult novelty oh my god can i be honest with you normally you're a

05:22special kind of that's it that's right you have to be a special kind of person to work in an adult

05:26novelty store because nothing can phase you no right yeah no you gotta be that you can't be looking

05:31for oh just a ball gag maybe a human cage oh right over here oh i don't know gotta be honest with you

05:40i'm looking for uh some taint clips and also probably with chains attached to a butt plug that then

05:46go down this way electricity then shoots through my nipple it's on sale it's on sale oh wow have

05:52you ever tried that have you ever tried this thing all the time yeah that's the thing that's it

05:57excuse me ma'am could you mind locking me in this cage real quick so i can test it out i really want

06:02to see if i can escape oh oh okay no that's quality stuff that's quality stuff i'll take five i'm looking

06:09for men's garter belt and uh thigh high combo you want to try that on i do there you go how do i look

06:18you look great you're beautiful thank you how do i look i'm telling you it's a special

06:25they're special they're different you have to be special you do

06:29you look beautiful

06:31you go in there for your ego boost yeah you're like thanks thanks i feel you know what i feel beautiful

06:44thank you

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