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Surviving in Home Depot
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an exorcism that took place in the lumber aisle of The Home Depot and Andy recalls how a trip to buy a safe ended up taking much longer than expected.
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
where would you if you were going to have an exorcism
00:07
where would you hold it denny's denny's all right bold choice indeed yes i'm not sure many
00:17
people would turn to denny's that's where i would do it i definitely wouldn't great place to do it
00:22
breakfast while you're doing exactly definitely wouldn't turn to the home depot no the home depot
00:31
no but you could probably find a place where no one would bug you in there
00:35
yeah i guess yeah like anywhere around the carpet area
00:38
the appliances i feel like if you'd be alone someone like barb's husband stumbled across
00:44
this he'd be very confused oh i'm sure these freaks
00:48
yeah stand back barb this guy's on drugs or something
00:56
stand back barb that guy's a freaking nature look at the guy
01:03
some kind of seance going on or some guy
01:07
everyone grab hands i'm just looking for the guy to tell me where the doorknobs are i don't
01:13
i don't know where the hell sir what aisle that the doorknobs are over there you work here you're
01:20
yes i that's why we're having it here i happen to work yeah i just took my vest off for a second
01:25
oh my god
01:26
i think i might start going to lowes
01:30
according to reports the exorcism was held for the trees that had been involuntarily turned into lumber
01:42
oh boy i don't think they understand the basic
01:46
that's not how that works that's not what those are for no that's like a tree hugger
01:53
yes weird it's not like a seance or something it's like uh these hippies watched a conjuring or
02:00
something i don't know what the hell happened there if we don't do something then the trees will come
02:05
back i need to release the spirits of the trees
02:08
release the spirit of the tree
02:12
it'd be a wild thing to just stumble upon yes it would you're looking for lumber every once in a
02:23
while yeah i thought maybe they were praying to get the prices to go down but uh you know lumber
02:29
prices actually are going down yeah i know crazy day in the home depot yeah i mean at least
02:38
at least workers found them there because i've been in the lumber area and i've not seen a soul
02:44
so i've been through the whole store i don't have to go there a lot but i did have to buy something
02:48
there one time and i had i was trying to find somebody to find out where like safes were
02:52
yeah and it did took by the end of it i had like my shirt tied around my head
02:57
and my pants were ripped and i had like turned into survivor i had to like fashion a walking stick
03:03
by the end
03:06
i know
03:11
it took a while huh
03:13
it actually talked to somebody had a cloudy eye
03:16
yeah andy are you how's it going over there in the uh trying to find safes
03:21
how's it going in the home depot
03:23
i've been living uh
03:24
excuse me
03:26
i've been surviving off of eating nails
03:31
listen uh
03:33
sir you can't eat those nails
03:34
i've been looking for a home depot employee for three years
03:37
as you can see my pants are torn
03:40
and i've pooped them
03:42
so please sir just tell me what aisle the safes are in
03:47
i've been living
03:49
sir sir can i can i help you
03:53
yes
03:53
oh wait i gotta go on my
03:55
no
03:55
no
03:58
that's happened so many times to him
04:03
yep that's how it goes
04:04
did you ever find the safe
04:07
i did it took like forever though
04:09
finally yeah
04:10
and the ironical part of it lease
04:13
was that they were in the first aisle i started in
04:16
yep
04:18
god my life is a joke
04:20
man
04:23
oh goodness
04:24
yep that's all good
04:25
someone said
04:26
at the end of it andy looked like robin williams from jumanji
04:29
i did
04:29
like what year is it
04:30
he was in home depot for the whole pandemic
04:34
they catch me marking the days
04:37
yeah yeah
04:38
sir stop writing on our displays
04:41
that's the only way i can tell time in here
04:42
i don't know what year it is anymore
04:44
have you been helped yet
04:46
no
04:47
oh sorry hold on i just got a phone call
04:49
i gotta go
04:50
fireproof safes
04:51
oh where are you going
04:52
come on man
04:53
sorry i got a call from the
04:54
oh my god
04:55
from the wood
04:55
oh
04:56
there you are
04:57
i hear they're having an exorcism over in the lumber department
05:00
you better get there
05:01
yes yeah i gotta break up an exorcism again
05:04
right
05:04
bunch of hippies
05:05
sitting there warming myself by a fire i made in one of the aisles
05:08
sir did you like that fire
05:10
yeah i've been trying to find somebody for four years
05:12
have you paid for that wood
05:13
no not yet because i need to find something else
05:16
i came here for a safe four years ago
05:18
oh hold on i've just been called to the gardening section
05:21
i got
05:21
i'll let someone know
05:23
they'll come here immediately and help you
05:25
oh my god
05:26
i'm gonna talk on this fake walkie talkie real quick
05:31
you know someone here that i need some stuff
05:33
all right they're coming
05:38
all right
05:38
i broke my leg uh climbing one of the things to get a safe
05:42
i need something for splints
05:44
did that safe fall on you
05:46
yes
05:47
yes it did
05:48
it was in the first aisle
05:49
oh my god
05:50
why do you have a torch
05:51
because it gets dark in here when they close
05:53
i can't find my way out of here
05:55
a torch
05:56
that's the only thing i could do
05:58
there was no like light switches
06:00
nothing
06:01
to be honest
06:03
we all thought you worked here
06:05
no
06:06
no i've been living here
06:08
i thought you were a manager
06:10
came here five years ago
06:12
looking for a safe
06:14
a fireproof safe
06:15
to keep my emergency silver in
06:17
that's true
06:22
yeah that's the truth
06:23
that's why that is the truth
06:24
that's why i laughed
06:26
that's why it's 100% true
06:27
yeah
06:28
uh my emergency safe
06:30
five years later
06:32
the price of silver was through the roof
06:35
but someone had taken it by the time he got back home
06:39
i have $40 worth of silver i need to protect
06:41
they can't have people stealing that
06:44
$40 worth of emergency survival silver
06:49
that silver was going to get him across the country
06:52
it was supposed to get him
06:54
to where there's medicine
06:55
silver needed to get him to his father
06:59
that's right
07:00
i need to see my dad
07:02
and all i have is this stupid silver
07:06
by the time he saw his father
07:08
his dad had killed an entire city
07:10
that's right
07:11
and he was the king of a small band of
07:14
yeah my dad's a warlord
07:15
yeah
07:16
oh my god
07:18
yeah
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