LE RÉSUMÉ PAS SURPRENANT DE MCDONALDS !! (Vidéo Exclusive Dailymotion)

INFOSMILE

Abonne toi !

Transcript

00:00 [Music]

00:04 Well, today we decided to give you the big one,

00:06 talking about McDonald's.

00:07 By the way, here is a picture of a Big Mac

00:08 that is clearly not true to reality.

00:10 But that will still make you drool,

00:11 every time you see it in the slightest ad.

00:13 While you know it won't be like that in real life,

00:15 it's fake, it's photoshopped.

00:17 But you're still going to go there,

00:18 order your favorite Maxi Best Of menu.

00:20 Because there are people who are paid very expensive

00:22 to fuck you and make sure you come back to eat

00:24 in this big M scene.

00:25 You know, this little chain of bucolic restaurants

00:27 specialized in the creation of mega astronomy.

00:29 At least that's what I would have said,

00:30 if it wasn't just a multinational

00:32 specialized in food, certainly good.

00:34 Mmm, yum yum yum, I'm going to enjoy myself.

00:36 But of poor quality.

00:37 Oh no, I have a stomach ache.

00:38 Which will not prevent you from

00:39 eating McNuggets BBQ sauce.

00:41 Be the only sauce really worthy of interest,

00:43 I do not hear you rage.

00:44 Or try any kind of royal burger,

00:46 royal deluxe, royal bacon, royal cheese, royal couscous.

00:49 And since McDo wants above all the happiness of its customers,

00:52 they even created a special menu for the poor.

00:54 The McFerz menu.

00:55 In order to catch cholesterol

00:57 for only 4.95 euros.

00:59 Wow, that's worth it, right?

00:59 Or a menu specially designed for children,

01:02 aka the happy meal.

01:03 Better known, or even only known

01:05 under the name of Happy Meal.

01:06 In which you will find the same thing as for adults,

01:08 but in reduced quantities,

01:09 as well as a nice little toy

01:11 which will probably end up in a trash can.

01:12 Or in the stomach of your child

01:14 if his supervision or his education

01:16 have been neglected,

01:16 unworthy parents.

01:17 And if McDonald's can provide a quality service

01:20 and enrich themselves on the back of the big guys,

01:21 it's thanks to valuable soldiers,

01:23 better known as versatile team members.

01:25 Not having any cooking skills

01:27 or anything else,

01:27 hired by guys in suit and tie,

01:30 they will give their bodies and souls

01:31 to make your orders.

01:32 While they would rather be

01:34 having their nails ripped by a Vietcong

01:36 than hearing the frying pan beep once again

01:38 or having to repeat once again

01:39 on the spot or to be carried away.

01:40 "Hmmm, fries and coke?

01:41 What sauce do you put in your nuggets?"

01:42 And right now, with the student card

01:44 with a finger in the ass,

01:46 *badum tss*

01:47 can you feel the sun of a guy

01:49 who has prepared thousands of burgers

01:50 without ever spitting in it

01:52 except in the one of this whore of a family?

01:53 Under the abusive authority of a manager

01:55 who thinks he's the king of Big Mac,

01:56 while he's just the king of assholes!

01:58 Yeah, I think the sum is palpable, yeah!

01:59 Because yes, we both worked in a fast food,

02:01 so in addition to having eaten shit,

02:03 we also prepared it.

02:04 And even that sometimes I prepared shit

02:06 to eat it myself right after.

02:07 Well, it was a pimped version

02:08 in double steak mode, double cheese for free,

02:10 because you have to take advantage of the little advantage

02:11 that this job has,

02:12 even if it's not really an advantage

02:14 since it's considered as luck.

02:15 But don't worry, you're considered a thief

02:17 only if you get caught.

02:18 And after a while,

02:18 you even end up developing some techniques

02:20 to make the border go smoothly

02:22 to the nuggets by card.

02:22 I'm not telling you where I hid them,

02:23 otherwise you'll never sleep at night again,

02:25 but you get the idea.

02:26 But finally, since we worked on it

02:27 for two long and endless years,

02:29 one day, you may have eaten a McChicken

02:31 made by my caretakers,

02:32 which, by the way, had to have a dirty face

02:33 because yeah, I didn't give a fuck about it, yeah.

02:35 Since you can imagine that my goal in life

02:36 wasn't to become a McFlurry pro,

02:37 but just to put a little money aside

02:39 to make money in the form of work.

02:40 To then resign without warning

02:42 in dog-like mode

02:43 and go get a maximum of views on YouTube.

02:45 And by a maximum of views,

02:46 I mean, of course, 200 views per video,

02:48 which is the equivalent of 20 cents

02:50 for two weeks of work,

02:51 which is the equivalent of 4 ragibus

02:52 in a tobacco shop.

02:53 And that's it, you're done complaining

02:55 and telling me about your unemployed lives, right?

02:57 Uh, yes, working is hard,

03:00 and nanani, hey, life isn't easy, okay?

03:02 You have to work, you have to earn your money.

03:04 But what's wrong with you, Timothée?

03:05 Why are you talking like a guidance counselor?

03:07 Well, actually, Timothée,

03:08 he's in his Naruto Run class right now,

03:09 so I'm replacing him,

03:10 but I admit, I haven't read his text,

03:11 so I'm doing a full-on impro, look,

03:12 I can say anything, it works.

03:13 Uh, yes, I like eating my dad's poop.

03:16 Anyway, all that to say

03:17 that McDonald's has a lot of issues to discuss.

03:19 Some will say,

03:20 "McDonald's? No, but who do you think I am?

03:21 Oh, it's out of the question

03:22 that I'm encouraging this patriarchal pattern

03:24 generated by capitalism.

03:25 I vote Mélenchon, sir."

03:26 Others will say,

03:27 "Yes, nuggets are crumbled chickpeas,

03:29 yes, it's sad for the chickpea mom,

03:31 but it's so good, damn it!

03:32 With barbecue sauce!"

03:34 And others will say,

03:34 "Oh, fuck, they forgot the sauce again.

03:36 No, but there's still something missing, too.

03:38 Where are the towels, damn it!"

03:40 But the fact is that everyone has already eaten there

03:42 at least once,

03:43 and that everyone will eat there

03:44 at least once, of course.

03:45 Because remember one thing,

03:46 people are paid very high

03:48 to make sure that you come back as you are.

03:51 Voilà, that was the not-so-surprising summary of McDonald's,

03:54 but it also works with all the other fast-foods,

03:55 just change the name of the burger and it's good.

03:57 Send your deluxe sauce in the like bar,

03:59 comment the name of your favorite burger,

04:00 even if I don't give a fuck,

04:02 and don't hesitate to give us 4,95€ on Tipeee

04:04 so we can pay ourselves a McFirst menu.

04:06 Bye!

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