LE RÉSUMÉ PAS SURPRENANT DE L'ÉCOLE !! ( Vidéo exclusive Dailymotion)

INFOSMILE

04/04/2024

Abonne toua !

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Amusant

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00:00 [Music]

00:04 Well, I remember a dark time in my life

00:06 And I'm not talking about the day I was locked in a closet for 6 hours

00:09 No, I'm talking about the time I was forced to go to a dark place to study

00:12 Just because this asshole from Charlemagne had this crazy idea one day to invent the school

00:16 I'm talking about a place where you had to raise your hand to talk and ask the teacher permission to go pee

00:20 Knowing that he could refuse

00:21 Forcing you to pee in your hole and to wipe yourself with paper towel

00:25 It's a pain in the ass, my friend

00:26 No, but wait, people who want to stop you from peeing

00:28 You piss on them, you piss on them, my friend, yeah

00:30 Don't do that, kids, don't piss on your teachers, please

00:32 I'm talking about a school that supposedly had to teach me the basics of life

00:35 Like, if you don't like maths, we don't care, as long as you have the average, it's ok

00:38 Because the important thing is not to understand what you're doing

00:40 Well, no, you shouldn't become intelligent either

00:42 Can you imagine, you realize that you're being taken for a fool from the beginning, wow

00:45 No, the important thing is to be average, to be an average citizen, to have the average

00:48 10, not more, the average, it's very good, the average

00:50 Be average, become great, no, become average

00:52 It's enough for your parents to be happy and that you have your PS5 at Christmas

00:55 But the school also taught me an absolute truth

00:57 If you're different from the others and you wear mittens and a sarouel

01:00 You'll never have friends in the real world

01:01 And you'll have to take refuge either in MMORPGs or in drugs, my friend

01:04 Oh yeah, that's true, I don't have many friends, so I'm drugged with milk

01:07 *sips*

01:08 Ah, I understand, Timothée, I try to stop too, but it's hard, you see

01:11 *sips*

01:12 It's too good, the sperm

01:13 Ah, and one last lesson that the school teaches you

01:15 Don't touch the bottom of the cup, it's disgusting

01:16 There are chewing-gum stuck, dried nose drops, used hoods

01:19 Don't do that, my friend, it's worse than Chernobyl

01:20 But finally, at school, I still spent 15 years of my life

01:23 That's more than half, the maths at least made me use this calculation

01:26 No, I'm kidding, I used my calculator, what do you think?

01:27 You thought I had more than four IQ? No sir

01:29 15 years of my life in which I never really invested myself

01:31 Because spending the day learning things that don't interest me

01:34 Well, spoiler, it doesn't interest me

01:35 There was a clue in the sentence just before, I'll put it in slow motion so it's clearer

01:38 Things that don't interest me

01:41 So to start over on good grounds, we decided to set up a new educational system

01:46 Solving real problems, but not bringing any real solutions, watch out

01:49 So today, let us be your class delegates

01:51 Already, school life, but it's out, we replace it with a giant aquarium

01:55 Because even if it's useless, at least there are some funny little fish in it

01:58 School hours, I analyzed them quite well during my school hours

02:00 Yeah, well, conclusion, it doesn't work, students collect them as if they were Pokemon

02:04 It's like if your dog bit someone, and you bit him to punish him

02:07 It will make them even more violent, it's a vicious circle, it's over, it's out

02:11 We replace it with general interest work, that we'll call "Goulag"

02:14 In tribute to the famous Goulag, invented by Mr. Goulag

02:16 The grades are the same, every grade is supposed to encourage someone

02:19 If the guy has 20, he gets a big head, if the guy has 0, he wants to commit suicide

02:21 In both cases, there's a problem to deal with, it stinks, it's over

02:24 So, we replace grades with emojis, but be careful, not one emoji, not two emojis

02:28 Any kind of emoji

02:29 Like, this means it's good, this means you can do better, and this means you've given the GoloPro

02:33 And the mandatory subjects, it only worked when kids didn't have internet

02:36 Now, who knows, he can become a YouTuber, the bambino, he doesn't give a fuck about civic education

02:40 With Mr. Meshoui at 5 p.m. on Tuesday night

02:42 But yes, you know, the one just after Mrs. Tajine's school class at 4 p.m. on Tuesday night

02:46 Anyway, I'm telling you, when you get to school, it should rather go like this

02:49 "Hello Timothée, so, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

02:52 "Well, I'd like to become a ninja, so I can infiltrate Konoha"

02:55 "That's perfect, Timothée, come over there, we'll train to throw shurikens on your parents"

02:58 And then, we'd have children who grow up, who cultivate their passions

03:01 Look, Timothée, how happy he looks

03:03 Then, I also had a project for the canteen

03:06 Come on, we hire real cooks, like Philippe Echebes, not guys who get out of jail and for whom a knife is useless to cook

03:12 But to plant people in the city after 11 p.m.

03:14 Well, there are also good things in the current education system, I'm not saying it

03:17 Like the few teachers who are not disgusted by their profession to the point of trying to commit suicide with a maligned friend

03:22 Well, I agree, there aren't many, it's a bit like the shiny Pokémon

03:25 But when you find one, you usually remember it all your life

03:27 Ah, and the holidays too, because there's only when you're at school that you have so many holidays

03:30 "But what are you talking about, Youtubers, you're always on vacation"

03:33 Oh, this one is good, look at the freckles I have under my eyes

03:37 There you go, that was a second video about school

03:39 Because it's a start, I invite you to plant the like bar with your friend, I bit my tongue

03:43 And to subscribe to the channel, and go see the Tipeee too, and share the video

03:47 See you later, in the bus, unless it explodes

03:50 Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe

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