Agha Or Saleem Goga Ko Gutter Se Nikaalne Mai Nakam, Shehbaz Sharif Ka Muhalle Mai Taraqyati Kam
Agha Or Saleem Goga Ko Gutter Se Nikaalne Mai Nakam, Shehbaz Sharif Ka Muhalle Mai Taraqyati Kam
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariyaan, Hoshiyaariyaan."
00:02 Hello, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaan.
00:05 Friends, today I will tell you where you can get the most expensive biryani plate in the world.
00:11 You must be thinking that it must be a very rich country.
00:14 It must be a Norway-type country.
00:15 It must be America or Japan.
00:17 There must be a rice plate there.
00:18 This is not the case.
00:20 And you must be thinking that how much biryani plate can be in Pakistan?
00:24 2000.
00:25 What can be more than this?
00:26 You are wrong.
00:27 There is a biryani plate worth crores and billions of rupees.
00:31 The plate that voters eat during the elections.
00:36 Each and every bite costs lakhs of rupees.
00:40 There is a tradition that a candidate came to his voter and told him
00:44 to give him 2000 rupees for voting.
00:46 He said, "You keep 2000 rupees.
00:49 Take the money from me but get me a nice donkey."
00:52 When the candidate went to the market to buy a donkey
00:56 and found out that a nice donkey costs 50-60 thousand rupees.
01:00 When he came back, he said that it costs 50-60 thousand rupees.
01:03 The voter replied, "You want to buy me for 2000 rupees
01:08 when you can't even buy a donkey for that much.
01:10 When will we know that our real value is our future?
01:16 If we are getting 2000 rupees in return for voting,
01:19 then if you divide it by 5 years,
01:21 you can destroy your life for a few rupees.
01:25 It's good for you. You are an adult. You vote.
01:27 You sell your children's future for a biryani plate.
01:32 Think about it. Let's start today's show with this.
01:35 Today, we will take you to the locality and see what is going on.
01:39 - Nothing is happening. - Move aside.
01:42 - It's moving. - What happened?
01:44 - There is a lot of money. - Really?
01:48 Look at him. He is tired.
01:51 - He was so tired. - Tell us the story of the money.
01:56 He is tired. He is here.
02:00 First, he will take the number and then he will come.
02:02 - Is there water in the gutter? - No.
02:04 - There must be mud in the gutter. - No.
02:06 - There is dry carpet in the gutter. - Save me.
02:10 - Hold his hand. - No. You hold it.
02:13 I think he is lying here.
02:18 - What happened? - There is no place for him inside.
02:22 - Move aside. They are stopping me. - They are stopping us too.
02:30 They are stopping the gutter from all the way inside.
02:34 Save me. I am dead.
02:36 What should we do?
02:38 - They are following the old people. - I told you to move aside.
02:41 - Hold his hand. - Hold on. I will arrange for the rope.
02:45 - What happened? - Move aside. I will move ahead.
02:50 - Hold his hand. - Come.
02:55 - I am breathing. - Move aside.
03:00 - He will stop wherever you are. - I am dead.
03:05 I told you to move aside.
03:09 - Hold on. - Hold on.
03:14 Come here. Wait a minute.
03:18 I will get the rope.
03:21 - Get up. - What happened?
03:26 - My rope is stuck. I am dead. - I don't know where it is stuck.
03:33 - Hold the rope. - Don't touch the rope.
03:37 - Why? - It is mine.
03:39 - I will get it fixed. - What is your name?
03:43 - My name is Akshara. - What is your age?
03:45 - I am 45. - What do you do?
03:49 - I work at night. - What kind of a scoundrel are you?
03:52 Do you want to cut me from the gutter or give me a marriage proposal?
03:55 Hold on. Give me the rope. I will get the rope.
03:59 My rope is stuck. Get me out.
04:03 - Your rope is stuck? - Yes.
04:05 Then tie the rope to the neck. Why are you tying it to the neck?
04:07 - Who is the widow? - I am the widow.
04:10 My rope is bad. I will get the rope.
04:14 - Get out. - I am getting out.
04:18 - Get the boy out. - Come on.
04:21 - Come on. - He is out.
04:28 - I will get him out. - He is out.
04:33 - He is just like me. - I think it's been a year and a half.
04:37 The people of the locality have not left the water.
04:40 Look at his condition.
04:42 He went to the gutter and the lava came out.
04:45 He is stuck in the five star gutter in front of our anchor.
04:49 Oh, no. Look how much dirt he is getting.
04:54 No, he is a mountain.
04:56 - How much plastic waste is there in your locality? - Wait.
04:59 Look, shoppers are coming out.
05:01 I thought it was his mobile.
05:04 - He was with him. - Wait.
05:07 - If you have to, tie him to the gutter. - You are right.
05:10 Mr. Arun, you must remember that Khaki Covers campaign was going on.
05:14 But again, shoppers are coming out.
05:16 The reason is that you can start any campaign.
05:19 You can put as much effort as you want.
05:21 You can teach people.
05:23 You can tell them.
05:24 Until there are no punishments, there will be no fines.
05:27 There is no use. We do half-hearted work.
05:30 We are half-baked.
05:31 We are holding on to the helmet.
05:35 After a few days, they are already roaming around.
05:37 Until you make a law on a solid basis
05:42 and punishments are not seen,
05:44 there is no use of any campaign.
05:46 This campaign was very expensive for the people.
05:49 - Okay. - Even after buying things worth Rs. 4000,
05:51 the next person asked if I would give them a shopping bag.
05:53 Yes, they sold bags worth Rs. 10 for Rs. 100.
05:57 - They asked me to get a shopper. - You are right.
05:59 They even asked me to get a yogurt seller.
06:01 I said, "Come, I will get you a shopper."
06:03 Mr. Arun, these are milk and yogurt shops.
06:05 They should have given it to the plastic shoppers.
06:08 Otherwise, how would they sell it?
06:09 For that, we have a degradable,
06:11 bio-friendly plastic.
06:15 - Okay. - You can use it.
06:16 You can throw it anywhere.
06:18 It will decompose and go back to the soil.
06:20 It is biodegradable.
06:21 - Sir, I have given him a bed. - Yes.
06:26 It is a gutter bed.
06:27 You are talking too much.
06:32 Sir, if you want a shopper, get him from inside.
06:36 Mr. Arun, this gutter has been our den for the past one and a half years.
06:39 - Okay. - People come and go.
06:41 They are worried.
06:41 Believe me, I don't know how many people come here.
06:44 - Take him out. - Hold him.
06:48 Uncle, you hold him.
06:51 He is a young man.
06:53 Oh, my legs are stuck.
06:55 Oh, I think he is dirty.
06:58 He won't go out even if he breaks his legs.
07:01 He is a young man. He will go out.
07:04 Uncle, why don't you come out?
07:07 Look, the politicians will vote now.
07:09 - Yes. - Everyone will come to our den.
07:11 I am telling you.
07:12 I won't let any politician come here.
07:15 - Why? - He sleeps at home at night.
07:17 - Yes. - He is a bad man.
07:18 - Look. - Okay.
07:19 He is a very bad man.
07:21 - With every city. - Yes.
07:22 With every town. With every district.
07:24 - He ruins everything. - He ruins the walls.
07:27 I have nothing to do with the Noon League.
07:30 - Yes. - He is a bad man.
07:32 - He is not a Noon League. - What?
07:34 He is a member of Jamaat Salamiya.
07:35 This is a people's party.
07:37 This is Tariq-e-Insaaf.
07:38 He is a bad man.
07:40 Why do you like Tariq-e-Insaaf?
07:42 - He is a bad man. - Yes.
07:43 - He is my friend. - Okay.
07:46 He is scolding you.
07:48 Mr. Haroon, we have been coming here for the past two years.
07:52 Since then, they welcome Nazim and Naib.
07:56 Welcome. But they have been punished.
07:59 - They are protesting. - Yes.
08:00 They are protesting that the broken drains
08:02 will not be the only street in Amarpura for 30 years.
08:06 - Oh, God. - I suggest that we should
08:08 - check his pockets first. - Why?
08:11 He is a bad man.
08:13 Mr. Haroon, they are not hospitable.
08:15 - Why? - No one has asked for water.
08:19 What is this? Why are you so late?
08:21 I was coming from work.
08:23 You are late because you are late.
08:26 But you should check once. Are your legs moving?
08:30 Yes, ma'am. But I can't walk.
08:32 Uncle, when we were 12-13 years old, we were not that fast.
08:37 - You were fast even when you were 17. - Yes.
08:39 - What happened last night? - I was coming from work.
08:42 - Okay. - I had six children.
08:44 - Yes. - I was alone.
08:46 - Why? - Where were they?
08:47 - They were in Darjan. - No.
08:48 They ate inside Darjan at night.
08:51 I was afraid that they would eat inside Darjan.
08:56 Such people have a problem.
08:57 They must have thought that if they die inside, they will be wasted.
09:00 Darjan is eating bananas. Are you a grass?
09:04 Why are you eating fruits?
09:07 - I am eating children. - Children live here.
09:09 There are no children here.
09:13 How dare you go there?
09:15 - I will... - I am Lata.
09:17 - I will... - I am Lata. Who pulled you?
09:19 If you notice all this,
09:22 I don't know why, but I think it has a metaphorical value.
09:26 - Like what? - Like...
09:28 Our rulers and politicians
09:31 have a deep-rooted problem.
09:33 - Yes. - Yes.
09:34 The people are trapped in it.
09:36 - Yes. - They can't even leave.
09:38 They are trapped.
09:40 The people are doing their best to help each other.
09:44 - Yes. - Yes.
09:45 And no one is listening.
09:47 Mr. Haroon, the government is watching the drama.
09:50 The fat government.
09:51 How do you think this is a government?
09:53 Our government should never wear these clothes.
09:56 - You should visit their palaces. - Right.
09:58 You should see their wonderful lifestyle.
10:00 But they have an attitude.
10:02 - That's the attitude. - Attitude.
10:03 And look at it.
10:06 Who is the most satisfied?
10:08 The one who says, "A politician knows me."
10:10 Yes.
10:12 The one who is not satisfied,
10:14 he thinks he is a fool.
10:16 Congratulations. Your father said the first thing.
10:20 (Laughs)
10:22 (Applause)
10:24 - Listen. - Yes.
10:25 I am not going anywhere.
10:28 (Laughs)
10:29 - Look at him. - I am looking.
10:32 I think he is trapped.
10:34 (Laughs)
10:35 - We have to save humanity. - Yes.
10:37 - You are saving half of humanity. - How?
10:40 I am inside.
10:41 (Laughs)
10:43 I am trapped. He is pulling my legs.
10:46 There is someone else inside.
10:48 (Laughs)
10:50 Don't worry.
10:51 He is pulling the legs of his partner.
10:53 (Laughs)
10:54 - Straighten the rent. - Yes.
10:56 - You will get 50,000 rupees. - Yes.
10:59 The poor will get the rent.
11:01 (Laughs)
11:01 Straighten the rent.
11:04 Yes.
11:05 - It will be straight. - He is so comfortable.
11:07 - Hold him. - Hello.
11:08 - Yes. - What is happening here?
11:10 He is a stranger. Hello.
11:12 He is not a stranger. He knows me.
11:14 (Laughs)
11:16 You are blind. Can't you see?
11:18 He is trapped.
11:20 He was going to teach me a lesson.
11:23 (Laughs)
11:25 - Yes. - All the instruments are talking.
11:29 I am not responsible for all the accidents.
11:31 (Laughs)
11:33 I mean if someone is trapped
11:36 he should have told me not to use the tap,
11:38 not to wash the utensils and clothes.
11:40 The water was hot. I thought he was a fool.
11:42 (Laughs)
11:43 - Were you washing the utensils? - Yes.
11:45 How do you know?
11:46 Sir, I have such a bone.
11:48 (Laughs)
11:49 He is trapped in the gutter.
11:51 - Yes. - He is silent.
11:52 - He has opened a shop in the morning. - Yes.
11:54 He has bought a kilo of curd.
11:57 (Laughs)
11:58 He is not ready.
12:00 He is a customer.
12:02 (Laughs)
12:03 Sir, he is a customer.
12:05 He is not used to using the tap.
12:07 - Sir, I have taken a bath. - No.
12:10 No one will bathe.
12:11 (Laughs)
12:12 No.
12:12 You don't bathe.
12:13 - Will the pool have a bath? - No.
12:15 - Anyway. - No one will bathe.
12:17 - He is a liar. - Yes.
12:19 - The water will come. - Sir, don't do it.
12:20 - He will break his face. - Look at him.
12:23 - Why? - He thinks he is a fool.
12:25 (Laughs)
12:26 Look, the gutter is not working.
12:28 No one comes here.
12:30 Sister, I came. Tell me what is the problem?
12:32 (Laughs)
12:34 - Look at him. - Yes.
12:36 He has pulled the rope. He is starting the generator.
12:38 (Laughs)
12:39 - Don't do it. - Leave the rope.
12:41 Let him wear it. He will get a tail.
12:42 (Laughs)
12:43 - Sir. - He thinks my son is a thief.
12:48 Welcome.
12:51 Are you happy? Are you able to do all the work?
12:53 Yes. We are happy.
12:54 We are not able to do the work of the one we have trapped.
12:56 What work do you have?
12:57 The poor man was trapped in the gutter.
12:59 He didn't want to bathe.
13:00 He left the place.
13:02 No one came here.
13:03 No one asked him.
13:04 Be happy. Be happy.
13:06 - What should I be happy about? - Congratulations.
13:09 What are you congratulating me for?
13:10 Your gutter is working.
13:12 I want to bathe.
13:13 It is amazing.
13:14 I mean your gutter is working.
13:17 Are you going to tie me up?
13:19 Your gutter is working.
13:21 Am I a gutter?
13:23 Listen to me.
13:24 Your gutter is working.
13:26 You are talking.
13:27 You are not a queen.
13:30 (Laughs)
13:31 Look, the flower seller has come.
13:32 There is no problem.
13:34 - Tie him up. - Okay.
13:36 Give me the rope.
13:37 Come inside. I want to tie him up.
13:39 Let me tie him up.
13:42 (Laughs)
13:43 What are you doing?
13:44 I can't go inside.
13:47 Where are you going?
13:48 - Why are you going out? - Inside.
13:50 How can I stay inside?
13:51 You are trapped inside.
13:53 Do something about him.
13:54 He is stuck inside.
13:56 Put everyone inside.
13:57 Do something about him.
13:59 Because it is important to tie him up in the next five minutes.
14:02 Otherwise, he will be left without a gutter.
14:05 - Yes. - Sir, Mr. Mian.
14:06 What Mr. Mian?
14:07 Mr. Mian is coming here to support his candidate.
14:11 Mr. Mian is coming to tie him up?
14:14 - Yes. - Yes.
14:14 Everyone has a plan.
14:16 - What? - You will start this plan.
14:19 - This is not a small thing. - Then?
14:21 One gutter will be filled with bricks.
14:23 - Will there be a gutter here? - Obviously.
14:25 (Laughs)
14:26 I think there will be a gutter here.
14:31 If Mr. Mian is coming to fill the gutter..
14:34 - Yes. - ..then Mr. Mian will come.
14:36 - Yes. - Come on.
14:39 (Helicopter whirring)
14:42 - Put him inside. - Come on.
14:43 - Mr. Mian is here. - He is here.
14:45 - Come on. - He is here.
14:47 Mr. Mian is here.
14:48 Keep him inside.
14:51 Wait. Let me tie him up.
14:53 Let me tie him up.
14:55 Sir, Raj will not come.
14:57 He will die.
14:59 - He is half dead. - Yes.
15:01 - Mr. Mian! - He is alive.
15:03 - Mr. Mian! - He is alive.
15:05 - Mr. Mian! - He is alive.
15:07 - Greetings, Mr. Mian. - Greetings.
15:09 - Greetings. - What are you saying?
15:13 I will not spare anyone.
15:15 I will put a lid on the entire gutter.
15:19 Do one thing. Keep putting the lid.
15:21 I am putting it.
15:22 Do one thing. Keep putting the lid.
15:25 And..
15:26 - Keep putting the lid. - Mr. Mian's..
15:28 - ..name will be changed. - ..lid of the gutter..
15:30 - ..will be changed. - ..will be changed.
15:31 Yes.
15:33 Mr. Mian, you have changed Lahore's map.
15:36 Look, Lahore is looking so beautiful.
15:39 What are you saying? You are a prince.
15:42 Is this your village?
15:44 No, Mr. Mian. This is my village.
15:45 - Go back. - Go back.
15:47 Mr. Mian, do something about me.
15:51 Keep quiet. Keep quiet.
15:52 I am doing something about you.
15:53 - Mr. Arun. - Yes.
15:54 I will cut all the gutters in Lahore.
15:58 - No. - I don't want to cut the gutters.
16:00 Cut me out.
16:01 If you want to cut the gutters, you can cut them wherever you want.
16:05 Look, Mr. Arun.
16:06 You are putting a lid on our work.
16:10 - Mr. Mian's name. - Will be changed.
16:11 - Mr. Mian's lid. - Will be changed.
16:13 Will be changed.
16:15 Mr. Mian.
16:18 He has changed everything.
16:19 He is giving all the witnesses a lid.
16:21 Mr. Mian, I am Akhtar, the lid.
16:25 One minute. One minute.
16:26 Mr. Arun, listen.
16:27 The lid is calling me again.
16:29 And the lid has changed its name to Akhtar.
16:31 Mr. Mian, I am Shadab's son.
16:35 Hey, Shadab is a big lid in your village.
16:39 - Oh, God. - Mr. Mian.
16:42 He is coming in your fear.
16:45 A man was trapped in the gutter.
16:47 The lid is fixed on him.
16:49 - A man is trapped in it? - Yes.
16:51 What are you saying?
16:52 You fools.
16:54 - What have you done? - Yes.
16:56 Now he has explained to him.
16:57 When this man will come out,
16:59 he will lift the lid on me.
17:03 Now do one thing.
17:04 Do one thing.
17:05 Lock this lid.
17:06 - Mr. Mian. - He has changed.
17:08 - Break the lid. - He has changed.
17:10 He has changed.
17:12 - Bring the lock. - I will bring it.
17:13 - Lock. - Bring it quickly.
17:14 Bring the lock.
17:15 Mr. Mian, you have locked it a lot.
17:17 Lock it. Lock it.
17:19 What are you doing here?
17:20 I am the owner.
17:22 You look very handsome.
17:23 Where have you come from?
17:24 I am from here.
17:26 - You have a lion on your chest. - Yes.
17:28 I feel like giving him a kiss.
17:31 Press it.
17:32 - Wow. - He has done it.
17:34 He has done it.
17:35 Mr. Mian, if you allow me.
17:37 Yes.
17:38 I will bring the lock outside and give the key to this man.
17:40 [LAUGHTER]
17:42 [APPLAUSE]
17:44 Ladies and gentlemen, there is a small break.
17:47 Don't go anywhere.
17:48 We will meet after the break.
17:49 "Don't go alone."
17:53 "Leaving your arms."
17:57 "Without you."
18:00 "What will we live?"
18:03 Mr. Mian, you are lost.
18:04 [LAUGHTER]
18:06 Mian has started dancing.
18:07 [APPLAUSE]