- 7/3/2025
That Uncertain Feeling is a 1941 American comedy film directed by Ernst Lubitsch and starring Merle Oberon, Melvyn Douglas and Burgess Meredith. The film is about the bored wife of an insurance salesman who meets an eccentric pianist and seeks a divorce. The screenplay by Walter Reisch and Donald Ogden Stewart was based on the 1880 French play Divorçons by Victorien Sardou and Émile de Najac.
Plot: Jill Baker (Merle Oberon) has an incurable case of the hiccups, for which she reluctantly agrees to see a psychologist, Dr. Vengard (Alan Mowbray). During her first visit she realizes her hiccups may be related to nerves about her husband, Larry (Melvyn Douglas). Upon her second visit to the psychologist, she runs into a famous pianist (Burgess Meredith), and her doubts about her marriage are intensified when he starts courting her. Larry carries out a plan to renew his wife's affections.
Plot: Jill Baker (Merle Oberon) has an incurable case of the hiccups, for which she reluctantly agrees to see a psychologist, Dr. Vengard (Alan Mowbray). During her first visit she realizes her hiccups may be related to nerves about her husband, Larry (Melvyn Douglas). Upon her second visit to the psychologist, she runs into a famous pianist (Burgess Meredith), and her doubts about her marriage are intensified when he starts courting her. Larry carries out a plan to renew his wife's affections.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30The End
00:01:00The End
00:01:29How are you, darling?
00:01:41It's gone. It comes and it goes.
00:01:44Oh, how annoying. Believe me, it's of no importance.
00:01:46And yet it makes you so nervous.
00:01:48I can only tell you what the doctor said, to forget it and not to worry.
00:01:50Well, I'd worry.
00:01:52Dr. Bengard, I repeat it, Dr. Bengard is the man for you.
00:01:55Don't. Let's go into that again. I will not be psychoanalyzed.
00:01:58Oh, now, Jill, that's a very middle-class attitude.
00:02:00I'm a perfectly normal woman.
00:02:02Well, that sounds awfully dull.
00:02:03My dear, you mustn't say that about yourself. Not even in fun.
00:02:06Seriously, Jill, go to Dr. Bengard.
00:02:08He certainly did wonders for Molly McLean.
00:02:11Do you know she was suffering so from claustrophobia she couldn't ride in an elevator?
00:02:14Can you imagine what that means to a woman living in a penthouse?
00:02:17And Dr. Bengard cured her?
00:02:18Well, he must have.
00:02:19I read the other day in Winchell's column she ran away with an elevator boy.
00:02:22Oh, Molly McLean?
00:02:23Oh, people.
00:02:29My name is Mrs. Baker.
00:02:30I know. Mrs. Stallings phoned me.
00:02:32Will you please be seated?
00:02:39Mrs. Baker.
00:02:42Your first name?
00:02:43Jill.
00:02:45Jill Baker.
00:02:47685 Park Avenue.
00:02:48685 Park Avenue.
00:02:52Your age, Mrs. Baker?
00:02:5622.
00:02:59I'm your doctor, Mrs. Baker.
00:03:0324.
00:03:11Doctor, I want to be frank with you.
00:03:13I'm absolutely certain there's nothing really wrong with me.
00:03:15I'm sure you'll feel differently when you leave this office.
00:03:20You see, most people know nothing about themselves.
00:03:22Nothing.
00:03:23Their own real personality is a complete stranger to them.
00:03:27Now, what I'm trying to do is to introduce you to your inner self.
00:03:31I want you to get acquainted with yourself.
00:03:33Wouldn't you like to meet you?
00:03:34No.
00:03:35No.
00:03:36You see, I'm a little shy.
00:03:37All right.
00:03:38What seems to be the trouble?
00:03:40Well, it's difficult to show you the symptoms at the moment because it comes and it goes.
00:03:47Oh.
00:03:48It comes and it goes.
00:03:51Yes.
00:03:52It's so unfortunate.
00:03:53It's always the same whenever I see a doctor.
00:03:55When I come, it goes.
00:03:58And when I go, it comes.
00:04:00Mrs. Baker, whatever comes and whatever goes, there's no denying it worries you a lot.
00:04:06So please drop all your inhibitions, release your inner self, and speak freely.
00:04:12What comes and what goes?
00:04:15Hiccups.
00:04:17Hiccups?
00:04:17Yes.
00:04:19Whenever I get nervous or irritated, I get the hiccups.
00:04:22It's rather unpleasant and sometimes very uncomfortable.
00:04:25Well, naturally, it's a little early to make any diagnosis.
00:04:28But you're apparently getting these hiccups because of a nervous condition.
00:04:31Let's find out what causes that condition.
00:04:33Sounds plausible.
00:04:34Would you mind stepping into the next room?
00:04:44Uh-huh.
00:04:45Well, there's nothing unusual in your childhood.
00:04:46Let us examine your present life.
00:04:49Let us look at it through a magnifying glass.
00:04:51Let us examine every detail.
00:04:54Mrs. Baker.
00:04:56You're married, aren't you?
00:04:57Yes.
00:04:58When did you get married?
00:04:58When I was 19.
00:04:59How long have you been married?
00:05:00For six years.
00:05:01To the same husband?
00:05:02Yes.
00:05:02Aha.
00:05:03Doctor, please believe me, there's nothing wrong with my marriage.
00:05:06You could go through all Park Avenue and you wouldn't find a happier couple.
00:05:09Well, I'm sorry, but it's my duty to explore every avenue, especially Park Avenue.
00:05:14How old is your husband?
00:05:1535.
00:05:15His business?
00:05:16He's vice president of an insurance company, but will you please leave my marriage alone?
00:05:19Well, very well, just relax.
00:05:21We'll talk about something entirely different.
00:05:23Do you suffer from headaches?
00:05:25No.
00:05:25How is your appetite?
00:05:26Good.
00:05:28How do you sleep?
00:05:30Frankly, not so well.
00:05:32How does your husband sleep?
00:05:33Very well.
00:05:35Uh-huh.
00:05:35Now, during one of these sleepless nights, when you wriggle around restlessly, and you look to your right, what do you see?
00:05:42My dressing table.
00:05:43My dressing table.
00:05:44And when you look to your left, what do you see?
00:05:46My husband.
00:05:47Sleeping?
00:05:47Yes.
00:05:48Uh-huh.
00:05:49What are you trying to do?
00:05:50Break up my marriage?
00:05:51No.
00:05:52Just wake up your husband.
00:05:54Well, thank you.
00:05:54That'll be all for today.
00:05:56Doctor, my husband has nothing to do with my sleeplessness.
00:05:59It's just that I'm super sensitive to noises or to the slightest sound.
00:06:02Does your husband snore?
00:06:04No.
00:06:05But I must admit, he breathes rather heavily.
00:06:07Oh, he does.
00:06:08I don't think there's anything I can do about it.
00:06:10After all, he has to breathe.
00:06:11I suppose so.
00:06:13Well, Mrs. Baker, I'm afraid your husband's ability to sleep is too big a challenge for you.
00:06:18It's rather like, well, have you ever been on a diet?
00:06:22Yes, a vegetable diet.
00:06:23Well, how would you feel if you had to struggle with a few raw carrots and have someone next you eat a big juicy steak?
00:06:28With a large baked potato?
00:06:29Yes.
00:06:29My husband, two weeks ago.
00:06:31Well, didn't it make you nervous?
00:06:32No.
00:06:33But now that you mention it, now that I think of it, it is rather irritating.
00:06:37And not very considerate.
00:06:38No, it isn't.
00:06:39After all, husbands expect their wives to keep their figures, but on the other hand...
00:06:42I would call it a complete lack of cooperation.
00:06:44It is.
00:06:45Uh-huh.
00:06:56Jill, dear.
00:06:57Hello, Margie.
00:06:58Why, haven't I heard from you?
00:07:00How are you, dear?
00:07:01All right.
00:07:02Anything wrong?
00:07:03Oh, Margie, you shouldn't have sent me to that Dr. Van Gogh.
00:07:06Did you go back to him?
00:07:07No, and I won't.
00:07:08He's not going to break up my marriage.
00:07:09There's nothing wrong between Larry and me.
00:07:11That's what I say.
00:07:12Are people talking about us?
00:07:14They wouldn't dare in my presence.
00:07:16They know you and I are close friends, and I always defend you.
00:07:19I know, dear.
00:07:20Defend me against what?
00:07:22Well, now, after all, town and country called you the Happy Bakers.
00:07:24That's kind of sticking out your chin.
00:07:26Well, how many of our friends have stayed married for six years?
00:07:28Why shouldn't they call us the Happy Bakers?
00:07:30Well, why not?
00:07:31Your name is Baker, isn't it?
00:07:32Oh, Margie, I've been perfectly miserable for the last two weeks.
00:07:38I'm so marriage conscious.
00:07:39Whatever I look at, whatever I think of, I always find myself connecting it with my marriage.
00:07:44How I hate that Van Gogh.
00:07:46Yet, if I'm honest, I must admit.
00:07:48What, dear?
00:07:49Well, if a wife looks at her husband through a magnifying glass, she's bound to see something.
00:07:53Yes, I should think so.
00:07:54Things I was never aware of before.
00:07:56Things I never noticed.
00:07:57For instance?
00:07:58Well, it's just an illustration, but like the other morning.
00:08:02You know how difficult it is for me to fall asleep.
00:08:05Well, finally, when I'm lucky enough to drop off, promptly at 8.15, what do I wake up to?
00:08:10A gargle.
00:08:11A gargle.
00:08:12Mm-hmm.
00:08:13That's the bugle call of marriage.
00:08:15Gargle is reveille, snore is taps.
00:08:17And what is there between?
00:08:19At 9 o'clock in the morning, he goes out of my life.
00:08:21Oh, my dear, isn't it the truth?
00:08:24Oh, I don't know what's the truth anymore.
00:08:26I'm completely confused.
00:08:28I'm so uncertain.
00:08:29I've always heard that the ideal marriage should be something of a mystery.
00:08:34That your husband should remain a kind of stranger to you.
00:08:37Someone whose acquaintance you'd like to renew every day.
00:08:40You know what I mean.
00:08:40Yes, dear.
00:08:45Don't say anything.
00:08:49Hello.
00:08:52Hello, Margie.
00:08:53Hello, Larry.
00:08:54Hello, darling.
00:08:54Hello.
00:08:57How are you?
00:08:58Fine, and you?
00:08:59Okay.
00:09:00Have a good day?
00:09:00Yes, and you?
00:09:01Good.
00:09:02Anything new?
00:09:03No.
00:09:03With you?
00:09:04Nothing.
00:09:04Good.
00:09:05I'll see you later.
00:09:11Well, what could he say?
00:09:13Why, of course, dear.
00:09:14There was nothing new, and he frankly admitted it.
00:09:16Jill?
00:09:18Yes, darling?
00:09:19Are the Coopers coming to dinner?
00:09:20I don't know yet, darling.
00:09:21I'll let you know as soon as they phone.
00:09:23I wish you would, because if they're coming, I'll have to shave.
00:09:25All right, darling.
00:09:29Now, I don't want to cause any trouble, but cold facts are cold facts.
00:09:34If Mr. and Mrs. Cooper come, that big, awful-looking Mrs. Cooper, he shaves.
00:09:39And if he has dinner alone with his wife, he doesn't shave.
00:09:41And if anybody should shave, it's Mrs. Cooper.
00:09:44I spent three and a half hours today at Elizabeth Arden's, but I don't rate a shave.
00:09:47My dear, that's the trouble with 95% of all marriages.
00:09:50Husbands, husbands don't shave.
00:09:52Don't men realize that a beard doesn't stop growing at 8 o'clock?
00:09:55Ah!
00:09:57Ah!
00:10:01Hmm.
00:10:12Larry.
00:10:13Yes, dear?
00:10:14They're back.
00:10:15Fine.
00:10:16Have a good trip.
00:10:16Who?
00:10:18The Evans.
00:10:20Say, that reminds me.
00:10:21That son of a gun promised to call me as soon as he got back.
00:10:23I'll bet Connor Nettles after him about his annuity.
00:10:25The Evans are still in Bermuda.
00:10:28The hiccups are back.
00:10:29Huh?
00:10:30Oh!
00:10:31Oh!
00:10:36The joke's on me, huh?
00:10:39Ah, that was very cute.
00:10:41Kicks!
00:10:43Kicks!
00:10:49Larry.
00:10:49Hmm?
00:10:50When you came in just now, you asked me if there was anything new.
00:10:53Oh, say, there is something new.
00:10:54And something very important, too.
00:10:56You know who's coming to dinner a week from Thursday?
00:10:58The president of Universal Mattress and the president and secretary-treasurer of United Furniture
00:11:02and some other high executives of both companies.
00:11:05Oh, good grief.
00:11:08Oh, I know it's going to be one of those nights, but Universal Mattress and United Furniture
00:11:12have merged.
00:11:13They're reshuffling their entire insurance account.
00:11:15Now, the tough man to crack is Kafka of Universal Mattress.
00:11:19I've done a little detective work.
00:11:21He's a Hungarian.
00:11:22As a matter of fact, they're all Hungarian.
00:11:23So let's give the dinner a kind of Hungarian touch, huh?
00:11:27Now, look, Larry.
00:11:28Oh, now, listen, darling.
00:11:29I don't expect you to behave like a gypsy, but let's hire a Hungarian cook
00:11:32and make him a wonderful goulash.
00:11:35Kafka will love it.
00:11:37I'm going to get that insurance account if I have to stuff that Hungarian like one of
00:11:40his own mattresses.
00:11:42Oh, and to make him feel really at home, our foreign division manager tipped me off.
00:11:46Just before they start to eat, you say,
00:11:49It means to your health or something like that.
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Oh, it's just a little thing, but you know how it is.
00:12:04Success in business is 50% hard work and 50% the right cigar.
00:12:09Eggish eggera.
00:12:11That's great, darling.
00:12:13Swell.
00:12:13Only a little more cheerful.
00:12:15You know, eggish eggera.
00:12:18Eggish eggera.
00:12:19Oh, you mean eggish eggera.
00:12:21Eggish eggera.
00:12:22That's it.
00:12:23That's it.
00:12:24That's great, darling.
00:12:26Thanks.
00:12:26Kix.
00:12:27Larry.
00:12:33Hmm?
00:12:33Why do you do that?
00:12:35Do what?
00:12:35Kix.
00:12:37Why?
00:12:39I always do that.
00:12:40Why?
00:12:42Well, why does one do things?
00:12:45But when you do it, what does it mean?
00:12:47Is there some underlying thought?
00:12:51Oh.
00:12:52No, just a habit, isn't it?
00:12:56Yes, if you want to call it that.
00:12:57Like scratching your head or patting your dog.
00:13:01Would you do it to some other woman?
00:13:05I don't know.
00:13:05I never tried.
00:13:07But you do it to me.
00:13:08Well, you're my wife.
00:13:10And that gives you the right to poke me in the stomach whenever you want to.
00:13:14Darling, don't you feel well?
00:13:16Fine.
00:13:16Fine.
00:13:16Fine.
00:13:16Fine.
00:13:16Fine.
00:13:17Fine.
00:13:22Fine.
00:13:23Fine.
00:13:24Larry, please don't keeks me anymore.
00:13:54PIANO PLAYS
00:14:24MOVE!
00:14:54That was not the dog. That was me.
00:15:04PIANO PLAYS
00:15:14Shhh!
00:15:22How do you do? How do you do, Mrs. Baker?
00:15:24Dr. Vengard will be a little bit late. I hope you don't mind.
00:15:28Come on.
00:15:48Ugly. Ugly.
00:15:50Aren't they ugly?
00:15:52Who?
00:15:54People.
00:15:56Is there anything uglier than the human face?
00:15:58Ah!
00:16:00You mind if I smoke?
00:16:02Not at all.
00:16:04Smoke yourself?
00:16:06Yes.
00:16:08Yes.
00:16:10You, uh, haven't got a cigarette, eh?
00:16:12Yes.
00:16:14Have any without tips?
00:16:16Unfortunately not.
00:16:18I'm sorry.
00:16:20Fooey.
00:16:30Change my mind. I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:32Yes, thank you.
00:16:34Yes, thank you.
00:16:36Have you, uh, seen this doctor before?
00:16:38Yes.
00:16:40Mm-hmm.
00:16:41Mm-hmm.
00:16:42Mm-hmm.
00:16:43What must he charge?
00:16:44I really don't know. I haven't asked.
00:16:46Oh. He didn't have to.
00:16:47Dr. Vengard just phoned. He'll be detained at least another half hour.
00:16:50Another half hour?
00:16:51Well, we have two alternatives.
00:16:52We can read a magazine or we can talk.
00:16:54This is a lovely day, isn't it?
00:16:55Yes.
00:16:56Yes.
00:16:57Yes.
00:16:58Yes.
00:16:59Yes.
00:17:00Yes.
00:17:01Yes.
00:17:02Yes.
00:17:03Yes.
00:17:04Yes.
00:17:05Yes.
00:17:06Yes.
00:17:07Yes.
00:17:08Yes.
00:17:09Yes.
00:17:10Yes.
00:17:11Yes.
00:17:12Yes.
00:17:13Yes.
00:17:14Yes.
00:17:15Yes.
00:17:16Yes.
00:17:17Yes.
00:17:18Yes.
00:17:19Yes.
00:17:20Do I bore you?
00:17:21No. On the contrary.
00:17:22Let me warn you that I say what I think. I'm a complete individualist.
00:17:25Oh, really?
00:17:26I'm against communism, capitalism, fascism, nazism. I'm against everything and everybody.
00:17:31I hate my fellow man and he hates me.
00:17:34Sounds rather amusing.
00:17:36So I amuse you.
00:17:37I'm a clown, eh? Pagliacci.
00:17:39Oh, no. I didn't say that.
00:17:40All right. Don't apologize.
00:17:42Is, uh, Vengard a good doctor?
00:17:44I'm sure he'll do you a lot of good.
00:17:46Why do you say that?
00:17:48What's wrong with me?
00:17:50I really wouldn't know. After all, I'm not the psychoanalyst.
00:17:53Uh-huh.
00:17:54What's wrong with you?
00:17:56Nothing.
00:17:57Well, why are you here?
00:17:59You don't go to a psychoanalyst to have a tooth filled.
00:18:02So what's wrong?
00:18:03I think we'd better read magazines.
00:18:07All right.
00:18:16Flea.
00:18:33I hate to bother you again, but, uh, what does one have to do to be happy?
00:18:43I think Dr. Vengard would know more about that than I.
00:18:46More than you, Mrs. Baker?
00:18:55Oh, that article.
00:18:56You know, Mrs. Baker, this is the first time in my life I've ever met a really happy person.
00:19:01It seems to irritate you.
00:19:02No, no. It makes me curious.
00:19:04I've often wondered what it would be like to be happy 24 hours a day.
00:19:07Must be wonderful.
00:19:09One gets used to it.
00:19:10Uh-huh.
00:19:11In the morning, you are awakened by the twitter of a little bird.
00:19:13Before breakfast, you and Mr. Baker dance a minuet.
00:19:16Then the happy breakfast starts.
00:19:19You are happy.
00:19:20Mr. Baker is happy.
00:19:22The eggs are happy.
00:19:23The hens who laid the eggs are happy.
00:19:26Now, look here.
00:19:27My presence seems to annoy you, so I think I'll leave.
00:19:29Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Baker, but if you feel that way, naturally it is I who'll go.
00:19:33Oh, no.
00:19:34I'm afraid you need the doctor more than I.
00:19:36Are you sure, Mrs. Baker?
00:19:38You see, that's an interesting question.
00:19:40We're both here for the same reason, happiness.
00:19:43One has not enough.
00:19:44One has too much.
00:19:46Who needs the doctor more?
00:19:48Now, that's interesting, isn't it?
00:19:50Rather, but I don't like to discuss it.
00:19:52Yes, I understand, Miss Baker.
00:19:53Well, I'm very happy to have met you.
00:19:55I'm very sorry if I've offended you.
00:19:57Goodbye, Miss Baker.
00:19:58Goodbye.
00:20:03Oui.
00:20:04Oh, just a moment.
00:20:05Yes?
00:20:06May I ask you one question?
00:20:08Certainly.
00:20:09Yes.
00:20:11What's wrong with that picture?
00:20:13Are you really interested?
00:20:15Yes.
00:20:16You sit down.
00:20:17Now, this artist saw no more in that tree than the camera which photographed the happy Mrs. Baker.
00:20:27It's only the surface.
00:20:29Art goes much deeper.
00:20:31You see, if I were a painter and I were to paint you, I don't know what the picture would look like.
00:20:37It wouldn't look like that photograph.
00:20:40Do I make sense?
00:20:42Yes.
00:20:43Quite a bit of sense.
00:20:45How do you do?
00:20:46Hello, Sebastian.
00:20:47Hello.
00:20:48Oh, by the way, my name is Sebastian.
00:20:49Oh.
00:20:50Alexander Sebastian.
00:20:51And they mean anything to you?
00:20:53Be frank.
00:20:54Well, if you insist, no.
00:20:55It's all right, it's all right.
00:20:56Why should it?
00:20:57Let's look at the picture.
00:20:58It's all right.
00:20:59Let's look at the picture.
00:21:00How do you?
00:21:01How do you do?
00:21:02I'm here.
00:21:03How do you do?
00:21:04How do you do?
00:21:05Thank you?
00:21:06Hello, Sebastian.
00:21:07Hello.
00:21:08Oh, by the way, my name is Sebastian.
00:21:09Oh.
00:21:10Alexander Sebastian.
00:21:11Alexander Sebastian.
00:21:13And they mean anything to you? Be frank?
00:21:15Well, if you insist, no.
00:21:17It's all right, it's all right. Why should it?
00:21:19Let's look at the pictures.
00:21:26Number 15.
00:21:28Child with trumpet.
00:21:31No good.
00:21:33I was afraid it was.
00:21:35The artist hasn't found himself yet.
00:21:37When he does find himself, where is he?
00:21:40Child with trumpet.
00:21:42Child's all right.
00:21:44But he's missed very badly on the trumpet.
00:21:46Didn't he?
00:21:48That won't live.
00:21:50I hope not.
00:21:52Fui.
00:21:54That's almost great.
00:22:00Who painted it?
00:22:02A woman. No man could be so malicious.
00:22:0626.
00:22:08Eleanor Stroud.
00:22:10Portrait of Alexander Sebastian.
00:22:12No use denying it.
00:22:14That's me.
00:22:15That woman didn't paint me.
00:22:16She performed an autopsy.
00:22:18She saw me.
00:22:19Frankly, the whole thing looks to me like a puzzle.
00:22:21Puzzle?
00:22:22That's correct. Good.
00:22:24I was a puzzle to her, but she was no puzzle to me.
00:22:28And that's her revenge.
00:22:30See, when I first saw that picture, I was terribly upset.
00:22:32I don't blame you.
00:22:38What do these notes mean?
00:22:40I'm a musician, a pianist.
00:22:42Oh, a pianist.
00:22:44And this pedestal here?
00:22:48Well, that indicates greatness.
00:22:52Tell me, why didn't she put your statue there?
00:22:55Is there any reason?
00:22:56There is.
00:22:57You see that little line?
00:22:59You mean this line?
00:23:01That's my whole trouble.
00:23:03Oh.
00:23:04That line sent me to Dr. Vanguard.
00:23:06Well, you might as well know that I'm inhibited, artistically.
00:23:11Let's have a drink.
00:23:12Oh, just a moment.
00:23:13Just a moment.
00:23:14Yes.
00:23:15What about this clock?
00:23:16The clock?
00:23:17Yes.
00:23:18Oh, that never should have been there.
00:23:20Why?
00:23:21Well, I...
00:23:22That's a personal matter.
00:23:26Are you sorry that you came here?
00:23:28Oh, no.
00:23:29No, on the contrary.
00:23:30It's all so fascinating.
00:23:32It's a new world.
00:23:33I can't quite grasp it.
00:23:34Whatever you want to know about me, just ask me.
00:23:37Uh, that, uh, that clock shows 12.15.
00:23:40Is it 12.15 by accident, or does it mean something?
00:23:43It means something.
00:23:44Oh.
00:23:45Let's stop talking about myself.
00:23:47Let's talk about something else.
00:23:48When is your next concert?
00:23:50Yes, when?
00:23:51When I overcome it.
00:23:53Overcome what?
00:23:54That little line.
00:23:56Oh, you mean your inhibitions?
00:23:58Yes.
00:23:59You see, when I play...
00:24:00Tell me, uh, this, uh, 12.15, is it noon?
00:24:03Midnight.
00:24:05Any particular midnight?
00:24:06Mm-hmm.
00:24:07Oh.
00:24:08Oh.
00:24:09Coming back to my inhibitions.
00:24:11When I play in a drawing room...
00:24:12Oh, pardon me.
00:24:13Oh, was it, uh, Eastern Standard Time?
00:24:16Daylight saving.
00:24:17Summer?
00:24:18Yes.
00:24:19Oh.
00:24:20Well, when I play in a drawing room for just one person, the right person, I'll be perfectly
00:24:26frank with you, I don't think there's a greater pianist in the world.
00:24:30But as soon as I get in a concert hall in front of an audience, no, something gets lost.
00:24:35Those faces staring at me.
00:24:37What right have they to come in and stare at me?
00:24:39What right have they to listen to me just because I pay $2?
00:24:42In some cases, $2.50.
00:24:44Why do I bother you with all this?
00:24:46Oh, but I'm glad you did.
00:24:47It's fascinating.
00:24:48You are a puzzle, Mr. Alexander Sebastian.
00:24:51And don't you try to solve me, Mrs. Happybaker.
00:24:54Come on.
00:24:55Come on.
00:24:56Come on.
00:24:57Come on.
00:24:58Come on.
00:24:59Come on.
00:25:00Come on.
00:25:19Mrs. Kopka.
00:25:20Mr. Januszczyk.
00:25:23Mr. Januszczyk.
00:25:27Mr. Jones.
00:25:28Jones?
00:25:29How does a foreigner like that get in here tonight?
00:25:31He's Mr. Baker's lawyer.
00:25:33Oh.
00:25:34Well, I suppose you always have to have a lawyer with Hungarians.
00:25:45Good evening, sir.
00:25:46Good evening.
00:25:47How's the goulash coming?
00:25:48Fine, Mr. Baker.
00:25:49Did a package arrive for me?
00:25:50Not yet, sir.
00:25:53Hello, darling.
00:25:54Hello, dear.
00:25:55Anything new?
00:25:56No.
00:25:57Have a good day?
00:25:58Marvelous.
00:25:59All set for a big night?
00:26:00All set.
00:26:01Ha-ha.
00:26:02Remember your word?
00:26:03Eggish-eggera.
00:26:04Eggish-eggera.
00:26:05That's it.
00:26:06Good.
00:26:07What is it?
00:26:08Your package had a rod, sir.
00:26:09Albert didn't tell me.
00:26:10Oh, fine.
00:26:23This is my package.
00:26:24No.
00:26:25Fine.
00:26:26Oh, fine.
00:26:56Fui.
00:27:07May I ask what you're doing here?
00:27:09Waiting.
00:27:11Oh, you're waiting.
00:27:13Tell me, how soon do we have dinner?
00:27:15Dinner?
00:27:16That's what I was invited for.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:20Oh, I'm sorry.
00:27:23Tell me, are you with Universal Mattress or United Furniture?
00:27:28I'm not with anything.
00:27:30Oh, playing both sides, huh?
00:27:32Well, that's not such a bad idea.
00:27:34Say, tell me, how do you feel about Mr. Kafka?
00:27:37Indifferent.
00:27:40Well, I can tell you nobody's gonna put anything over on him.
00:27:42He's pretty smart.
00:27:43I think it's very clever that they've merged.
00:27:46Merge your will out, won't it?
00:27:53Yeah.
00:27:55Look, you want me to enjoy this evening, don't you?
00:27:58Why, yes, certainly.
00:27:59All right, come here.
00:28:02This vase insults me.
00:28:04It's ugly.
00:28:05Let's put it away.
00:28:07Oh, sure, of course.
00:28:10The customer's always right.
00:28:12Anything else in the room you'd like to change?
00:28:14Lots.
00:28:16Well, I think we're gonna have a very enjoyable evening.
00:28:20I'll let you in on a little secret.
00:28:22We've got goulash.
00:28:23Goulash?
00:28:24Yeah, goulash.
00:28:26Scrambled eggs for me.
00:28:28Well, only a suggestion.
00:28:34Will you forgive me?
00:28:35I misdress.
00:28:36Just continue to make yourself at home.
00:28:39Gee, these Hungarians are certainly funny people.
00:28:50Have they come?
00:28:51One of them has.
00:28:52Look, dear, aren't we dressing?
00:28:54Why?
00:28:55Well, he isn't.
00:28:56Oh, that's Mr. Sebastian.
00:28:58Seb...
00:28:59Who's he with?
00:29:00With?
00:29:01He's against.
00:29:02Everything.
00:29:03He's an individualist.
00:29:04Is he that rich?
00:29:05Oh, he doesn't care anything about...
00:29:06How do you know?
00:29:09Dear, it's Sebastian.
00:29:11Alexander Sebastian.
00:29:12I told you the other day, but that's the trouble.
00:29:14You never listen to anything I say.
00:29:16Makes no impression.
00:29:17Oh, I remember now that piano player.
00:29:20He's not a piano player.
00:29:22He's a pianist.
00:29:23And pretty soon he'll be very important.
00:29:25Someday you may be very happy to insure his hands for $100,000.
00:29:28Look, darling, I'm giving this dinner especially for these Hungarians.
00:29:31Could he pay a premium?
00:29:33I don't know and I don't care.
00:29:36You know, sometimes I don't understand you.
00:29:38Here we've got a $500,000 insurance possibility tonight.
00:29:42I've gone to all this trouble to get up a special Hungarian evening for the president of Universal Mattress.
00:29:47And you invite this piano player.
00:29:49You should know better.
00:29:50Musicians and mattresses don't mix.
00:29:52Look, Larry.
00:29:53For six years I've been living insurance and I'm tired of being an annuity.
00:29:57Can't I just myself spend one evening with Rimsky-Korsakov and Stravinsky?
00:30:01Who else is coming?
00:30:04Why didn't you invite the whole Philharmonic and have them bring Deems Taylor along as commentator?
00:30:08Oh, all right, all right. Let's drop the whole thing.
00:30:11If you don't want him to play, he won't play.
00:30:13Play? Say, that's not a bad idea.
00:30:16Maybe he could liven up the party, huh?
00:30:18If Mr. Sebastian consents to play, which I doubt, but if he does consent, it won't be Hungarian swing.
00:30:24Well, what will it be?
00:30:25Something you'd have to pay two and a half dollars to hear.
00:30:28You mean like Carnegie Hall?
00:30:30Exactly.
00:30:31Not in my house. Not tonight.
00:30:42What's this?
00:30:44Oh, that's a reproduction of a painting I saw in an art gallery.
00:30:48Do you like that?
00:30:51Love it.
00:30:53Well, what is it?
00:30:55Can't you see?
00:30:57Now listen, quit kidding me. What is it?
00:30:59It's a portrait.
00:31:00A portrait? Of what?
00:31:03Of a man.
00:31:05Listen, I know I'm just a poor ignorant insurance dope and I don't know anything about Stravinsky.
00:31:09But we've been married for six years and I think I've made you a pretty good husband.
00:31:13When I ask you a question, you still ought to do me the courtesy of answering.
00:31:16You don't have to make fun of me.
00:31:22You know what this is?
00:31:23The Grand Canyon.
00:31:25You sit here, Mrs. Kafka.
00:31:41And that's why, Mr. Kafka, we're the only company for you.
00:31:43Sounds very reasonable. Let's talk about it after dinner.
00:31:45Yes, indeed. After dinner, we'll have a good long talk.
00:31:47Right here, Mrs. Kafka.
00:31:48All right.
00:31:49Thank you, Mrs. Kafka.
00:31:50You mean not even Lohengrin?
00:31:51It is.
00:31:52Especially not Lohengrin.
00:31:53I give you all a Vardner.
00:31:54Except one passage in Tristan.
00:31:55That's really good, but you never hear it played right.
00:31:56Perhaps someday I could hear you play it as it should be played.
00:31:57Perhaps.
00:31:58I don't eat strawberries.
00:31:59Oh, I'm sorry.
00:32:00All right.
00:32:01All right.
00:32:20Everything all right, Mr. Kafka?
00:32:28Mm-hmm. Fine.
00:32:31Evillesseéra!
00:32:40Evillesseéra.
00:32:44Evillesseéra!
00:32:45How well he said it.
00:32:49He said it.
00:32:56How well he said it.
00:32:58I thank you so much, Mrs. Baker.
00:33:00You make one feel at home.
00:33:02That's what I call hospitality, Mr. Baker.
00:33:04I didn't know she knew it.
00:33:06I wonder why she picked that up.
00:33:07What does it mean?
00:33:08To your health.
00:33:09Oh, isn't that nice?
00:33:10And she pronounced it so well.
00:33:12I don't know.
00:33:15Yes, I am.
00:33:16I am not.
00:33:18Yes, I am not.
00:33:32How come do you speak Hungarian?
00:33:33Were you born in Hungary?
00:33:35I studied music in Budapest.
00:33:37Budapest.
00:33:38Yes, Budapest.
00:33:40I lived at, what's the name of the street? Andorusiak.
00:34:10I can't hear you.
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14Hi.
00:34:16I can't hear you.
00:34:18I can't hear you.
00:34:20Let's go.
00:34:40I just got a call.
00:34:47Kafka's launching with the Hudson Insurance people tomorrow.
00:34:50It's tonight or never.
00:34:51What about the legal angle?
00:34:52My office is working overtime, drawing up the contract.
00:34:55All right, I'll go right after them.
00:34:57Well, enjoy the goulash, Mr. Kafka?
00:34:59Good goulash. Very good goulash.
00:35:01If your firm is as good as your cook, we might get together.
00:35:04Well, I'm glad you brought that up.
00:35:05I hear the details.
00:35:07Yarosheem.
00:35:07Laszlo.
00:35:08Come here a minute.
00:35:09After all, we are partners.
00:35:10I want you to listen to Mr. Baker's proposition.
00:35:13Well, gentlemen, here it is in a nutshell.
00:35:14Everybody, please. I have a treat for you.
00:35:17Mr. Sebastian, you know, is a very well-known pianist,
00:35:19and he's kindly consented to play for us.
00:35:21So if you'll all be seated.
00:35:28Does he have to play?
00:35:30Don't worry.
00:35:31Mrs. Baker.
00:35:40Yes, Mr. Sebastian.
00:35:46Would you mind moving from here, dear?
00:35:49Yes.
00:35:52Go on, show you, Mrs.
00:35:53Come on.
00:35:54Oh.
00:36:02This is locked.
00:36:04That's odd.
00:36:06It's the key.
00:36:08It's too silver.
00:36:09Who could have locked the piano?
00:36:11Where's the key?
00:36:12I don't know.
00:36:12It's a funny idea.
00:36:13Why should anybody lock the piano?
00:36:14It's too ridiculous.
00:36:15Why should anyone lock the piano?
00:36:17It's the key.
00:36:18As I was saying, Mr. Cosgrove,
00:36:23my proposition's a very simple one,
00:36:24but a very sound one.
00:36:27I broke it.
00:36:28Don't you worry.
00:36:28I won't.
00:36:29Now, Mr. Sebastian, please tell us.
00:36:32What are you going to play?
00:36:34Well, first I'm going to play...
00:36:37Mrs. Baker.
00:36:40Yes, Mr. Sebastian.
00:36:43All right.
00:36:48I shall begin with a sonata pathetique by Beethoven.
00:36:56A sonata in three movements.
00:36:58And afterwards, if I feel like it,
00:37:01I shall play Hoff's 11 variations
00:37:03on the second theme of the first movement,
00:37:05followed by my own variation
00:37:07on Hoff's 11 variations
00:37:09on the second theme of the first movement.
00:37:10Listen, how long is a sonata?
00:37:18The only one I ever heard lasted three cigars.
00:37:21It's a catastrophe.
00:37:22It's a disaster.
00:37:22Jones, we're sunk.
00:37:40Snowman, we're sunk.
00:37:53We're much better than the second theme of the first movement,
00:37:58and we'll play a song for now.
00:37:59Where?
00:38:01Where?
00:38:03Where?
00:38:29Alexander, stop it.
00:38:53Please, don't.
00:38:59No, no.
00:39:29You know, Jones, I'm glad you got that clause in the contract. It saved our necks. Another...
00:39:45Wait a minute. I'm gonna have some fun.
00:39:55How do you do? How do you do, sir?
00:39:57About that picture in the window. It's very good, don't you think?
00:39:59No fooling. What is it?
00:40:01It's a portrait of a man.
00:40:03Oh. Well, certainly. What else could it be?
00:40:06Excuse me, sir. Not everybody understands modern art.
00:40:09Well, thanks.
00:40:11If you're interested, it's only $500.
00:40:13$500? Must be quite a man.
00:40:15Well, it's not the man. He happens to be rather an obscure musician.
00:40:19Musician? What kind of a musician?
00:40:21A pianist, I think.
00:40:23Is it, by any chance, Alexander Sebastian?
00:40:25Well, that's who it is. You recognized him.
00:40:27He seems to be a friend of yours.
00:40:29Wouldn't it be amusing to have him in your home permanently?
00:40:33Not very amusing.
00:40:45A cheap guy like that.
00:40:47Who?
00:40:48Him.
00:40:51Goodbye, Jones.
00:41:03Hello, darling.
00:41:16Hello.
00:41:17Isn't this a nice surprise for you?
00:41:19Yes, very nice.
00:41:21A merry farmer.
00:41:24What's he so merry about?
00:41:26Oh, darling, you don't begrudge me a little music, do you?
00:41:29Oh, no.
00:41:30Anything new?
00:41:32Well, this, isn't it enough?
00:41:34Yeah, plenty.
00:41:35Have a good day?
00:41:36Fine.
00:41:37You seem to be feeling better these days.
00:41:39Oh, yes.
00:41:40I slept 10 hours last night.
00:41:41And, Larry, the hiccups have completely disappeared.
00:41:44Isn't that good news?
00:41:45Yeah, very good news.
00:41:47Are you still going to Dr. Vanguard?
00:41:50Oh, no.
00:41:51I don't need Dr. Vanguard anymore.
00:41:53I'm so busy with my music and visiting art galleries
00:41:55that I haven't even time to think of any doctor.
00:41:58Oh.
00:41:59Isn't that wonderful?
00:42:01You know, I'm beginning to see something in this.
00:42:06Yeah, it starts to look like a man.
00:42:09Huh?
00:42:12Why did you say that?
00:42:14Well, the other night...
00:42:15Oh, you did that seriously.
00:42:16I was only kidding.
00:42:17How could that be a man?
00:42:19I was nervous about the dinner party, and I said whatever came into my mind.
00:42:22I'm sorry, darling.
00:42:24No, dear, no.
00:42:25I don't agree with you.
00:42:26It does look like a man.
00:42:27Now, don't be stubborn.
00:42:28Can't you take a joke?
00:42:29Well, then, what is it?
00:42:33It's, uh...
00:42:34It's a meadow.
00:42:35It's called meadow in spring.
00:42:37Oh.
00:42:38Oh, in spring.
00:42:39Yeah.
00:42:40And those little notes of music, what do they mean?
00:42:43Oh.
00:42:44That's...
00:42:45That's the shepherd playing his pipe.
00:42:47Shepherds play pipes, don't they?
00:42:49Oh, sure, yeah.
00:42:50And the clock at 12.15?
00:42:53Oh, I don't know exactly what that means, but I guess it's probably lunch.
00:42:57The shepherd eats, and then he plays his pipe.
00:42:59Oh.
00:43:00Really, darling, you talk as though you've never been in a meadow.
00:43:02You see, in modern art, they're trying to break down the conventional forms.
00:43:06They're trying to get away from what you expect.
00:43:08It's all done by indication.
00:43:15What are you doing?
00:43:16Oh, just putting a mustache on the shepherd.
00:43:19Knock that guy right through his piano.
00:43:28Now, that'd be the worst thing you could do.
00:43:30You'd just make her feel sorry for him.
00:43:32Don't make a martyr of him.
00:43:34You've got to look at this thing from a woman's angle.
00:43:37Now, wait a minute.
00:43:42Miss Akin, will you come in, please?
00:43:49Miss Akin, we want a woman's point of view on a certain situation.
00:43:55Now, Mr. Baker has a friend, and he's in trouble.
00:43:59Who, Mr. Baker?
00:44:00No, the friend.
00:44:01Oh, Mr. Baker.
00:44:03Now, Mr. Baker has nothing whatever to do with it.
00:44:06Let's call the friend Mr. Brown.
00:44:09Now, Mr. Brown has a wife.
00:44:11Mrs. Brown?
00:44:12Exactly.
00:44:13Mr. and Mrs. Brown have been married for how long?
00:44:17Well, say six years.
00:44:19Yes.
00:44:20They live in Toledo.
00:44:21Six years in Toledo?
00:44:22That's bad.
00:44:23All right, then.
00:44:24Let's say New York.
00:44:25Now, Mr. Brown is worried about his marriage.
00:44:27Things are not going along as well as they used to.
00:44:30What kind of a man is this, Mr. Brown?
00:44:32Very nice.
00:44:33Wouldn't you say so?
00:44:35Yes, very nice.
00:44:36Is he attractive?
00:44:37Very attractive.
00:44:38Don't you think so?
00:44:39Yes.
00:44:40And yet, she's complaining.
00:44:42Well, she's drifting away from him.
00:44:44Yes, and he wants to get things back on the old basis.
00:44:46Who doesn't?
00:44:47Yes.
00:44:48Now, Miss Higgins, as a woman, I'm asking you, what is the right approach?
00:44:53Well, I should say a mink coat would do the trick.
00:44:57She has a mink coat.
00:44:58Then what's she complaining about?
00:45:01Thank you, Miss Higgins.
00:45:02That's all.
00:45:03Well, gentlemen, you wanted to get a woman's point of view.
00:45:05Just a moment.
00:45:07Now, look here.
00:45:08Mrs. Brown is interested in another man.
00:45:10Oh.
00:45:11Does Mr. Brown know?
00:45:12Yes.
00:45:13Has he any proof?
00:45:14Too much.
00:45:15Has he any witnesses?
00:45:16No.
00:45:17Then he's sunk.
00:45:18Thank you, Miss Higgins.
00:45:19Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Baker, but if there aren't any witnesses, she's going to deny it, if you want the woman's angle.
00:45:23Miss Higgins, we're thoroughly satisfied.
00:45:25Well, I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give you any advice.
00:45:28I probably have too much sympathy for Mr. Brown and not enough patience with Mrs. Brown.
00:45:33We get cases like that every day.
00:45:35The wife is bored.
00:45:36Marriage is just a habit.
00:45:37But on the other hand, she accepts everything her husband gives her.
00:45:40I think she ought to be kicked out.
00:45:42Do I sound old-fashioned?
00:45:44We'll let you know, Miss Higgins.
00:45:46Well, anyway, I think Mr. Brown is a pretty swell guy.
00:45:48I've always thought so.
00:45:50Some woman.
00:45:52Yeah.
00:45:53She certainly had a couple of interesting angles.
00:45:55I didn't notice them.
00:45:56Good.
00:45:57Now, Larry, you still love your wife, don't you?
00:45:59Yeah.
00:46:00Well, where are you going from here?
00:46:02I have a dinner appointment with old C.K. Higgins at his club.
00:46:05How can I sell insurance with this in my mind?
00:46:07It's a big deal, too.
00:46:08Now, listen.
00:46:09Forget Higgins.
00:46:10Forget insurance.
00:46:11Go home.
00:46:12There's only one thing you have to sell.
00:46:14Yourself.
00:46:15The most important client you ever had in your life is waiting for you.
00:46:19And her name is Mrs. Baker.
00:46:21Now, you're the best salesman in the business.
00:46:23There's nothing wrong with your marriage.
00:46:25You just have to resell it once in a while.
00:46:28Not so easy.
00:46:30Well, who said it was?
00:46:32Was it easy to sell Hale insurance in Southern California?
00:46:35Just find the right slant.
00:46:37A new one.
00:46:38Selling marriage with a new slant.
00:46:40A new slant.
00:46:41That's not a bad idea.
00:46:43But what is that new slant?
00:46:45That's what I'd like to know.
00:46:46What is it?
00:46:47What is it?
00:46:48What is it?
00:46:49Selling marriage with a new slant.
00:46:58Ah, right.
00:47:13Oh!
00:47:15Nice surprise, eh?
00:47:18Ah!
00:47:19Hello, my genius.
00:47:20Yes.
00:47:22Who are you going to be this evening?
00:47:24Come, tell your little cadenza.
00:47:26Are you Mozart, playful, tender?
00:47:30Or are you the thundering Beethoven, strong, fiery, unyielding?
00:47:35Come, darling, tell your little cadenza.
00:47:45Da, da, guess who's here?
00:47:50Guess who is here? Guess who is here?
00:47:53It is Volton, the god of gods!
00:47:56Coming down to her...
00:48:00Anything serious?
00:48:02No, she just fainted.
00:48:03Oh, well, women are always fainting.
00:48:06Any particular reason?
00:48:08No, no. She just thought I was a genius.
00:48:11Then she found out I wasn't and it was too much for her.
00:48:14Please make yourself at home. I'll be right back. I want to get some smelling salts.
00:48:20Now look, Baker, let's get this straight.
00:48:38There's going to be a very heated discussion.
00:48:40We're going to insult each other. It can't be avoided.
00:48:42You're going to accuse me of something which I'm going to deny and you're not going to believe.
00:48:45So before this battle starts, let's get one thing straight.
00:48:49I'm not going to fight.
00:48:51My hands are my only livelihood and I'm not going to risk them on your jaw.
00:48:54Here, Mozart, wake up your little cadenza.
00:48:57What's happened?
00:49:10Well, I... I...
00:49:12You!
00:49:14That's very funny. You know what I thought?
00:49:19Look, I think I...
00:49:20Look, I think I...
00:49:27What?
00:49:28Hello?
00:49:29Hello, Jones. I'm still Sully. You were right. It needed an entirely new slant. I think I've got a new one.
00:49:52I think I've got a new one.
00:49:53I think I've got a new one.
00:49:54I think I've got a new one.
00:49:59There, it was a new one.
00:50:16Ugly threading down my throat.
00:50:20I'm going to repeat the floor.
00:50:26Baker, I don't trust you.
00:50:37Oh, come on, have a cigar.
00:50:40Either you have something in the back of your mind or that cigar stinks.
00:50:43No, no, that's the same cigar I give my customers.
00:50:46How old are you, Sebastian?
00:50:49Not as old as you.
00:50:51Right in the prime of life, huh?
00:50:53You in good health?
00:50:54Good enough, even better after I've had dinner.
00:50:57But I'm not going to fight.
00:50:59No, no, no, I don't want to fight.
00:51:01But you might run into a husband sometime who hasn't my respect for great music.
00:51:05Where would you be then?
00:51:07Come on, Sebastian.
00:51:09I'm going to do something for you, whether you like it or not.
00:51:12I'm going to insure your hands.
00:51:14That'll give you complete freedom of action.
00:51:17It'll give me 5%.
00:51:18Then we'll both be happy.
00:51:20I'm not going to fight.
00:51:21No, I know, I understand.
00:51:23You're an isolationist.
00:51:27Isolate yourself over there.
00:51:31You know, the best part of this whole thing is that we...
00:51:33Sit down.
00:51:36We can write this hand insurance as a subclause to your life insurance.
00:51:40Life insurance?
00:51:41What do I want with life insurance?
00:51:43I'm Jenny Dependence.
00:51:44Any relatives?
00:51:45Relatives?
00:51:45Fui.
00:51:45I'll tell you.
00:51:47You can leave it to my wife.
00:51:49She can buy herself a beautiful brooch in the shape of a piano with little diamond keys.
00:51:54And every time she pins it on, she'll think of poor dear Sebastian.
00:51:58Believe me, if anybody should ensure his life, it's you.
00:52:01And right now.
00:52:02Well, then, where were you born?
00:52:19I'm not going to fight.
00:52:20So you love my wife, don't you?
00:52:28I love your wife, Baker.
00:52:30Oh, so that's what you've been driving at.
00:52:33Oh, now, I understand the whole thing.
00:52:36Oh, really, Baker, you should be a little ashamed of yourself.
00:52:40Great big insurance man like you.
00:52:43Deal so successfully with human nature.
00:52:45Baker, why, you should know better than that.
00:52:49Naturally, I think your wife's very attractive and very charming.
00:52:53She likes music.
00:52:54Was that thing loaded?
00:52:56Yeah.
00:52:57Oh, now, look, Baker, get it out of your mind.
00:53:01I don't love your wife.
00:53:03Well, it's going to be a great day in the musical heaven.
00:53:07I can just see Beethoven calling over to Mozart.
00:53:09Hey, Mozart, dust off the piano.
00:53:11Look who's coming, the little genius.
00:53:12That's not funny.
00:53:13This isn't funny, either.
00:53:14I love my wife.
00:53:15I've loved her for six years.
00:53:16For six years, we've been together.
00:53:18And along comes a guy like you and breaks everything up
00:53:20just because you've nothing else to do.
00:53:23I'm not going to get away with it.
00:53:26If you've loved my wife earnestly and sincerely
00:53:28and you'd come to me and told me about it,
00:53:31well, that would have been one of those things.
00:53:33I'm not old-fashioned.
00:53:35If you both felt that you would have been happier without me,
00:53:37what can I have done?
00:53:39Pack my suitcase.
00:53:41And I wouldn't have to do this.
00:53:42Oh, you know, Baker,
00:53:45you kind of had me worried there for a minute.
00:53:49When you pulled out that revolver, I thought,
00:53:51here's a conventional citizen.
00:53:53No sense telling the truth to a man like that.
00:53:56But now I see the real Baker,
00:53:59modern and up-to-date.
00:54:01Baker,
00:54:02I'm going to open up to you.
00:54:03of course I love your wife.
00:54:06You're sure?
00:54:07Positive.
00:54:09Well, then I won't have to shoot you.
00:54:10I don't think it'll be necessary.
00:54:13Well, we've got a clean-cut situation on our hands.
00:54:16You love my wife,
00:54:17and my wife loves you.
00:54:18Well...
00:54:19Oh, yes, she does.
00:54:19I've seen it with my own eyes.
00:54:22Well, there's only one thing left for me to do.
00:54:23Hmm?
00:54:32Hello?
00:54:33Hello, Jonesy.
00:54:34I'm still selling.
00:54:48Did I hit back?
00:54:49No.
00:54:50Good.
00:54:51You shouldn't have done that, Baker.
00:54:52I know, and I'm sorry.
00:54:53You shouldn't have done that.
00:54:55I slipped back into the old-fashioned Baker.
00:54:57I probably won't do it again.
00:54:58I'm not going to fight.
00:55:02Hello.
00:55:03This is Lawrence Baker.
00:55:05I want to reserve a room for tonight.
00:55:07I'll be right over.
00:55:08Thanks.
00:55:12Baker.
00:55:15Are you really moving out?
00:55:17Well, yes, certainly.
00:55:18I think I should leave the apartment to her.
00:55:20You do?
00:55:21Well, yes.
00:55:22It's only fair, don't you think so?
00:55:25Yes.
00:55:25I think that seems to be the best approach.
00:55:28Well, I'm glad you think so.
00:55:29No, no.
00:55:30I don't want there to be any bitterness.
00:55:33No.
00:55:33I'm in a position to give her security,
00:55:35to take care of her future.
00:55:37And why not?
00:55:38She deserves it, don't you think so?
00:55:40Yes, yes.
00:55:41Yes, I do.
00:55:42After all, she's given me the best years of her life.
00:55:45Yes, I'll take some wonderful memories with me.
00:55:47She's a nice girl, isn't she?
00:55:50Yes, yes, very nice.
00:55:52Of course, she has her faults.
00:55:54Well, who hasn't?
00:55:55That's true.
00:55:55That's true.
00:55:56Uh, Sebastian, if you should ever run into one of her bad moods,
00:56:01all you have to do is...
00:56:03Oh, no, perhaps I better not tell you.
00:56:06Come on, now.
00:56:07Don't act like a little boy.
00:56:08What is it?
00:56:08Oh, well, it's kind of personal.
00:56:11Come on, come on.
00:56:12What is it?
00:56:12Oh, well, if you ever should run into one of her bad moods,
00:56:15you want to snap her right out of it.
00:56:18There's only one way to do it.
00:56:20What's that?
00:56:21Just keeks her.
00:56:24Keeks her?
00:56:25Why do you do that?
00:56:27Just keeks her.
00:56:31She like that?
00:56:32Insane about it.
00:56:34Thanks, Vic.
00:56:38Keeks her?
00:56:41Oh, no.
00:56:42Now, about the cause for divorce.
00:56:50According to the New York state law,
00:56:51one of the parties must have a correspondent.
00:56:53Oh, there must be some less embarrassing way.
00:56:56Not in New York.
00:56:57Well, you don't have to do it.
00:56:57I'll get the correspondent.
00:56:59Oh, no.
00:56:59I wouldn't like to put you in that position.
00:57:01That's all right.
00:57:02But why should you take the blame?
00:57:03Well, it's okay.
00:57:04It's quick and painless.
00:57:05Very wide of you, Baker.
00:57:06Thanks, Sebastian.
00:57:07That leaves the property settlement.
00:57:09The following agreement has been reached
00:57:11between Lawrence Baker,
00:57:12hereinafter referred to as the party of the first part,
00:57:14and Jill Baker,
00:57:15hereinafter referred to as the party of the second part.
00:57:18It is understood that the party of the first part
00:57:20transfers title to the apartment
00:57:22at 685 Park Avenue
00:57:23to the party of the second part.
00:57:25Well, what about the furnishings?
00:57:27Yes, what about them?
00:57:28Well, I didn't understand that you were...
00:57:29Oh, yes.
00:57:29I want everything transferred to...
00:57:31to the party of the second part.
00:57:35Can't we take that up later?
00:57:36No, let's get everything settled now.
00:57:37You're entitled to it.
00:57:38Oh, now, look.
00:57:39He's only trying to be fair.
00:57:41You're too generous.
00:57:42No, just fair.
00:57:43That's all.
00:57:44Well, if there's anything you want...
00:57:46Oh, I don't need anything.
00:57:48What would I do with it?
00:57:49But Larry...
00:57:50He lives in a hotel.
00:57:51Where would he put it?
00:57:52He'd only have to pay storage.
00:57:53That's right.
00:57:54Well, I'd better change this.
00:58:03What's his name?
00:58:04Jones.
00:58:04I don't trust him.
00:58:09Well, here we are.
00:58:11Mm-hmm.
00:58:12Baker versus Baker.
00:58:14Sounds awful, doesn't it?
00:58:15Everything legal does.
00:58:16Oh, about this correspondent.
00:58:19Yes.
00:58:19Who is it going to be?
00:58:21Oh, I don't know.
00:58:22Anyone in mind?
00:58:23Mm-hmm.
00:58:24I have several promising prospects.
00:58:25Oh, you have?
00:58:27Mm-hmm.
00:58:27Yes, I think we can clear up the whole matter in about four weeks.
00:58:30Sounds pretty good.
00:58:31Mm-hmm.
00:58:32Tell me, it isn't Mary Logan?
00:58:34Mary Logan is a correspondent?
00:58:36Oh, I think I can do better than that.
00:58:39After everything's straightened out, I think I'll take a trip to South America.
00:58:42Is it one of my friends?
00:58:44No, you know I never cared very much for your friends.
00:58:46Someone I know?
00:58:47Darling, this is a divorce, not 20 questions.
00:58:49Oh, I'm just curious.
00:58:51Oh, don't worry.
00:58:52You can rely on me.
00:58:54I won't disgrace the family name.
00:58:59Mary, do you really want this divorce?
00:59:02Oh, absolutely.
00:59:03Don't you?
00:59:04Well, don't tell me you don't want it.
00:59:07That'd be a great disappointment.
00:59:08After all, you're seriously in love with Sebastian.
00:59:11Otherwise, you wouldn't have...
00:59:13Well, we wouldn't be here.
00:59:15You're too fine a person, Jill, to have done all this just to fill out your day.
00:59:21I've always believed that you're sincere.
00:59:24I still do.
00:59:27I'd like to take that memory with me.
00:59:30I'm sorry if I hurt you.
00:59:32You couldn't help it.
00:59:33Don't worry.
00:59:35There'll be no bitterness.
00:59:37Honey, isn't it?
00:59:39For six years, you were my husband.
00:59:41Now, you're the party of the first part.
00:59:44I used to be your Jill.
00:59:46And now I'm here and after referred to.
00:59:49And that's all.
00:59:55Well, everything's taken care of.
00:59:57What's the matter?
01:00:02What'd you do?
01:00:03Nothing.
01:00:04Just went over some of the details.
01:00:05I don't trust you, Baker.
01:00:08Darling, there's nothing to worry about.
01:00:09It's a very clean-cut agreement.
01:00:11Alexander, please.
01:00:12I'm so nervous.
01:00:13Can't you understand?
01:00:14Of course.
01:00:14We all have our little moods.
01:00:17Keith!
01:00:27Now, let's read this again.
01:00:29The following agreement has been reached...
01:00:30It's unnecessary, unless we can agree on the correspondent.
01:00:33Well, it's none of your business.
01:00:34Darling, it isn't.
01:00:34Keep quiet.
01:00:35It is my business.
01:00:36You're not going to make me the laughingstock of the whole town with some girl.
01:00:39A girl I don't even know.
01:00:40Oh, no, you're not going to have that triumph, Mr. Baker.
01:00:41Goodbye.
01:00:48Kicks!
01:00:49Don't do that, Baker.
01:00:50Jill!
01:00:51Jill!
01:00:53Jill!
01:00:54And that, my dear Mr. Jones,
01:00:55is what is known as protecting your original investment.
01:00:58Let's get a drink.
01:00:59I think you've softened her.
01:01:01Softened her?
01:01:02Destroyed her.
01:01:02She's going to come back and eat out of my hand.
01:01:04And what I'm going to do to Mrs. Jill Baker.
01:01:07Here and after referred to as Jill Lamb Baker.
01:01:10If you want to buy a good piano cheap, Jones, you can have it.
01:01:12No.
01:01:12Oh, am I going to be difficult.
01:01:14I'm going to be the mad dog of 685 Park Avenue.
01:01:18Heil Baker!
01:01:20Mr. Jones!
01:01:23Yes, Mrs. Baker.
01:01:24About this correspondent, what does the law require?
01:01:27Well, she...
01:01:28No, in case I have the correspondent.
01:01:30Oh.
01:01:31Well, you have to be found alone with him in your apartment.
01:01:34And he with his coat off.
01:01:35I see.
01:01:37Alexander?
01:01:38Yes, darling?
01:01:38Are you willing to take your coat off for me?
01:01:40Anything you say, darling.
01:01:42Oh, no.
01:01:42No, no.
01:01:43Oh, yes.
01:01:44You mean you really want to do that?
01:01:45I do.
01:01:46You want to compromise me with that guy?
01:01:47Ha, ha.
01:01:48You seem to forget, Baker, that she's in love with that guy.
01:01:50Kicks!
01:01:50You brute!
01:01:55Alexander!
01:01:56Alexander!
01:01:57Alexander!
01:01:59Snoogey!
01:02:00Snoogey?
01:02:01Calling that Snoogey?
01:02:03Come on, darling.
01:02:04There you are.
01:02:05Sit here a minute.
01:02:05You'll be all right.
01:02:07Sit down here.
01:02:09For six years, I've been married to a brute and I didn't know it.
01:02:11A divorce, yes.
01:02:12That's the only solution.
01:02:13All right.
01:02:14Why don't you go to Reno?
01:02:15Yes, Reno.
01:02:15I don't want to go west.
01:02:16Oh, darling.
01:02:17How are you?
01:02:19Unshaken.
01:02:19Would you establish residence in Pennsylvania?
01:02:21Pennsylvania?
01:02:22That's around Philadelphia, isn't it?
01:02:23In the neighborhood, yes.
01:02:24Well, that's not bad.
01:02:25They've got a good orchestra.
01:02:26It'd be easy to communicate with New York.
01:02:28Very well.
01:02:28Shall we say Pennsylvania?
01:02:29All right.
01:02:30Pennsylvania, China, anywhere.
01:02:31Only let's get it over with.
01:02:32Okay.
01:02:33Let's look up Pennsylvania.
01:02:35Pennsylvania.
01:02:36Ah.
01:02:37There.
01:02:38That's...
01:02:40Snoogey.
01:02:43You're going to get your divorce if it's the last thing I do.
01:02:46Section 10.
01:02:47Innocent spouse may get divorced provided the other spouse shall have, by cruel and barbarous
01:02:53treatment, rendered life intolerable and burdensome to said innocent spouse.
01:02:57Sounds promising.
01:02:58Shouldn't be difficult for you to be barbarous.
01:03:00No, my innocent spouse.
01:03:02What do I have to do?
01:03:03Well, let's call in a witness.
01:03:05Let's say my secretary.
01:03:07And first, you two start a quarrel.
01:03:09With pleasure.
01:03:10And then I'd say maybe you slap her face.
01:03:13Slap her face?
01:03:14Oh, no.
01:03:14So, you can hit a man, but you don't dare strike a woman.
01:03:18You coward, you.
01:03:19All right.
01:03:19I'll do it.
01:03:20Very well.
01:03:20Now, let's rehearse the whole thing.
01:03:22Now, here's the plan.
01:03:27Miss Akins, will you come in, please?
01:03:29Right away, Mr. Jones.
01:03:32Now, remember, I start to dictate a letter.
01:03:35As soon as I snap my fingers, you start the argument.
01:03:37And when you say...
01:03:38You cheap second-rate insurance peddler.
01:03:40When I hit you.
01:03:41Now, Baker, don't let us down.
01:03:42Miss Akins!
01:03:43Miss Akins!
01:03:44Coming, Mr. Jones.
01:03:46Sit down, please.
01:03:49Take this.
01:03:51To Walter K. Dovenmule.
01:03:53Capital City Bank and Trust Company, Columbus, Ohio.
01:03:57My dear Mr. Dovenmule.
01:03:59Now, let me see.
01:04:04So you won't tell me?
01:04:06I wasn't there.
01:04:08My mother saw you.
01:04:11Your mother gives me a pain in the neck.
01:04:14How dare you say that about my beloved mother?
01:04:17Your beloved mother.
01:04:18Poo!
01:04:21So you won't tell me, huh?
01:04:23I wasn't there.
01:04:24But my mother saw you.
01:04:26Your mother gives me a pain in the neck.
01:04:27How dare you say that about my beloved mother?
01:04:31Your beloved mother poo!
01:04:32Who are you to poo my mother?
01:04:34Your mother.
01:04:35Do you know what your mother reminds me of?
01:04:36Hey, hey, stop.
01:04:37Stop!
01:04:38Just a minute.
01:04:39Miss Akins!
01:04:40I didn't tell you to leave.
01:04:41Yes, for heaven's sakes, Miss Akins.
01:04:43Sit down.
01:04:46Now, read that back to me.
01:04:47Mr. Walter K. Dovenmule, Capital City Bank and Trust Company, Columbus, Ohio.
01:04:52My dear Mr. Dovenmule.
01:04:54So you don't like my mother?
01:04:55No, I don't like your whole family.
01:04:56Oh, you don't?
01:04:57No, I don't like your father.
01:04:58I don't like your brother.
01:04:59Do you know what your mother reminds me of?
01:05:00What?
01:05:01Of you.
01:05:01That'll give you a rough idea of what I think of your mother.
01:05:03You cheap, second-rate insurance peddler.
01:05:08You cheap, second-rate insurance peddler.
01:05:15Come on.
01:05:17You're what she called your cheap, second-rate insurance peddler.
01:05:20Yes!
01:05:28Now, look, man.
01:05:29Our whole happiness is at stake.
01:05:31One good sock.
01:05:33Here.
01:05:33Have another cognac.
01:05:36Now, I'll give it everything.
01:05:39Read it back to me.
01:05:40Walter K. Dovenmule, Capital City Bank and Trust Company, Columbus, Ohio.
01:05:44My dear Mr. Dovenmule.
01:05:45Yeah, my dear, Missy.
01:05:46Everything I said about your mother still goes.
01:05:50And double.
01:05:50Oh, it does?
01:05:51Yes, it does.
01:05:52Well, I still say you're a cheap, second-rate insurance peddler.
01:05:56Oh, so I'm a cheap, second-rate insurance peddler, am I?
01:06:00Yes, you are.
01:06:03Say it again.
01:06:04You cheap, second-rate insurance peddler.
01:06:07Come on, Baker, pull yourself together.
01:06:20You can do it.
01:06:20Swell guy like you.
01:06:22Read it back to me.
01:06:24Walter K. Dovenmule, Capital City Bank and Trust Company, Columbus, Ohio.
01:06:28My dear, Mr. Dovenmule.
01:06:36Did you see that, Miss Higgins?
01:06:37A husband slapping his wife?
01:06:39Yes, did you see it?
01:06:40Mrs. Baker, I'm very sorry this happened in my office.
01:06:43So am I.
01:06:43Imagine that, a husband hitting his wife.
01:06:47He had to get drunk to do it.
01:06:50Goodbye, Mr. Jones.
01:06:51Goodbye, Miss Higgins.
01:06:52What about Walter K. Dovenmule?
01:07:04Tell him I'm out.
01:07:16Thank you, sir.
01:07:18Come in.
01:07:22Hello, Albert.
01:07:25Good morning, sir.
01:07:26I hope you'll forgive me for disturbing you on Sunday.
01:07:29Oh, good door, Albert.
01:07:31Have a late night, sir?
01:07:33Yes, I've had a series of late nights.
01:07:35I guess I'm not as young as I used to be.
01:07:36Oh, I think you look very fit, sir.
01:07:38Oh, thanks, Albert.
01:07:39How's everything going?
01:07:40Well, not so well, sir.
01:07:42I came to ask if in your future plans you'd have any use for me.
01:07:46Have you left, Miss Baker?
01:07:47Yes, sir.
01:07:48I had to.
01:07:49On account of that musical gentleman.
01:07:52Oh.
01:07:54In fact, we all left, except Emma.
01:07:56But then she fortunately is quite deaf.
01:07:58How is Miss Baker?
01:08:00As charming as ever, sir.
01:08:02Happy, I suppose.
01:08:04If you'll pardon me for saying so, I think she shows great courage.
01:08:07Oh, it's purple.
01:08:08And now she has her.
01:08:09Thank you, sir.
01:08:10Thank you, sir.
01:08:18We'll pray to Sarah Bye.
01:08:28Bye.
01:08:28Bye.
01:08:28Bye.
01:08:29Bye.
01:08:29Bye.
01:08:30Bye.
01:08:30Bye.
01:08:32Bye.
01:08:32Bye.
01:08:34Bye.
01:08:35Hello.
01:08:40Hello.
01:08:42Where's Mrs. Baker?
01:08:51Jill, dear.
01:08:52Margie, darling.
01:08:53Oh, I got such a thrill when you called me.
01:08:54Why shouldn't I, old friends like us?
01:08:56Sit down, Margie.
01:08:57How are you, Jill?
01:08:58Oh, I'm fine.
01:08:59I hear you're going to Philadelphia.
01:09:01Oh, did you meet Alexander?
01:09:02Yes, but I didn't want to bother.
01:09:04He's practicing for his new concert.
01:09:05I understand.
01:09:06Does it disturb you?
01:09:08No, no, no, no.
01:09:09I love music.
01:09:10Yes, I'm going to Philadelphia.
01:09:12And you're happy?
01:09:13Oh, yes, very.
01:09:14Of course, I'm still a little bewildered it's all so new.
01:09:17I guess it's all very exciting.
01:09:19Yes, very exciting.
01:09:20Being transferred from the business world into the world of art.
01:09:23Nothing but Bach and Tchaikovsky.
01:09:25That's Bach.
01:09:26He's practicing.
01:09:27Oh, yes.
01:09:28You sure it doesn't disturb you?
01:09:29Oh, no, no, no.
01:09:30I love it.
01:09:31You don't have to be ashamed.
01:09:32Not everybody likes Bach, so if you want him to stop...
01:09:34My dear, I wouldn't think of it.
01:09:36The whole thing sounds so very romantic.
01:09:38Yes, very romantic.
01:09:40Oh, by the way, have you seen Larry?
01:09:42Yes, yes.
01:09:43I saw him last night at the Monte Carlo.
01:09:45Larry at the Monte Carlo?
01:09:47Yes.
01:09:48Imagine.
01:09:49Just a moment.
01:10:06Please forgive me.
01:10:07Of course.
01:10:08Well, now, what were we talking about?
01:10:10Yes.
01:10:13So, you don't like my music, eh?
01:10:14Well, Alexander...
01:10:15I make nothing but a lot of noise.
01:10:17All right.
01:10:22Fui.
01:10:28Isn't he original?
01:10:29Oh, very.
01:10:30I hope you don't mind.
01:10:31No, not at all.
01:10:33I love to make him angry.
01:10:35He turns into a big, grizzly bear.
01:10:37It must be fascinating.
01:10:38Yes.
01:10:40Jill.
01:10:43The bear.
01:10:51What is it?
01:10:52Jill, there'll be no more music here today.
01:10:54Oh, no?
01:10:55No.
01:10:56No, and don't coax me.
01:10:57Shh.
01:10:58And don't shush me.
01:10:59As a matter of fact, there'll be no more Sebastian here today.
01:11:01At least not for lunch.
01:11:02And dinner is very uncertain.
01:11:04Well, that's the way you feel about it.
01:11:06It is.
01:11:07Jill, I can be very impossible.
01:11:10Goodbye.
01:11:19What fun.
01:11:20I only hope poor Larry has as good a time as I.
01:11:22Well, when I saw him at the Monte Carlo.
01:11:24Oh, yes.
01:11:25I suppose that was another one of those dull business evenings.
01:11:28Was it a large party?
01:11:29No.
01:11:30I'd say she was about your size.
01:11:33Oh.
01:11:34Was she attractive?
01:11:35No, I didn't think so.
01:11:37But George and Freddy thought she was terrific.
01:11:40You know George and Freddy.
01:11:42But what do you care?
01:11:43That's right.
01:11:44What do I care?
01:11:45Larry's entitled to have a little fun.
01:11:49That's the kind of life he likes.
01:11:54Oh.
01:11:55Hello.
01:11:56Hello, Sally, darling.
01:11:57I feel pretty good considering.
01:11:58What about you?
01:11:59Mm-hmm.
01:12:00That's right.
01:12:01Huh?
01:12:02Huh?
01:12:03Well, no.
01:12:04I'm sure you took it with you when we left for the Monte Carlo.
01:12:05Wait a minute.
01:12:06Hello.
01:12:07Yes, it is.
01:12:08Hi.
01:12:09Goodbye.
01:12:10Goodbye.
01:12:11Goodbye.
01:12:12Mm-hmm.
01:12:15That's right.
01:12:16Huh?
01:12:19Well, no, I'm sure you took it with you when we left for the Monte Carlo.
01:12:22Wait a minute.
01:12:32Hello?
01:12:32Yes, it is.
01:12:35All right.
01:12:37Goodbye.
01:12:42Hello.
01:12:48Hello.
01:12:50Are you going to throw me out?
01:12:52Jill, you shouldn't have come up here.
01:12:55It's rather embarrassing.
01:12:56Well, I was just passing by.
01:12:58But after all, if Sebastian finds out...
01:13:00Oh, don't worry about that.
01:13:01But I do.
01:13:03A girl engaged to be married, coming to a bachelor's apartment, and unannounced.
01:13:10Just a moment.
01:13:12Come on.
01:13:20Well?
01:13:21I seem to be intruding.
01:13:22Look, Jill, what do you want to see me about?
01:13:24Someone here.
01:13:26What do you want, Jill?
01:13:27Well, I was driving by and...
01:13:29Oh, right on the 31st floor?
01:13:31Well, you said you wanted some kind of remembrance, and...
01:13:34I'm on my way to Cynthia Knox's tea, and I had to pass by, so...
01:13:38I picked up a few things.
01:13:41Some snapshots of us taken together.
01:13:43Thought you might be interested.
01:13:46Aren't you going to look at them?
01:13:47Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
01:13:48Mm-hmm.
01:13:49Well, that's the first time we met.
01:13:52There's one of you sitting in my lap.
01:13:54Our wedding.
01:13:55Our honeymoon.
01:13:56That's very nice.
01:13:57Thanks.
01:13:58Anything else?
01:14:00I heard you were at the Monte Carlo last night.
01:14:02Yeah.
01:14:03Ooh.
01:14:04Sleepy, huh?
01:14:05Yes.
01:14:06Well, give my regards to Cynthia Knox.
01:14:08Who?
01:14:09You were on your way to Cynthia Knox's tea, right?
01:14:11Oh, oh, yes, yes.
01:14:13I like your apartment, Larry.
01:14:15It's lovely.
01:14:16Charming.
01:14:17Yes.
01:14:18Very, very charming.
01:14:24In such good taste.
01:14:26Pretty.
01:14:27So cozy.
01:14:28Lovely curtains.
01:14:30And such a beautiful view.
01:14:32Yes.
01:14:33Such a beautiful view.
01:14:38I'm sorry.
01:14:39That was rather foolish.
01:14:41Please forgive me.
01:14:42Oh, Larry, I did make quite a mess of things.
01:14:46Oh, everything turns out for the best.
01:14:48You can't mean that, Larry.
01:14:50I can and I do.
01:14:51Larry, please don't make me go to Philadelphia.
01:14:54Please don't.
01:14:55Oh, madam has changed her mind.
01:14:58She gets a little tired of marriage and she walks out just like that.
01:15:01What does she care if she makes a fool of her husband or how much she hurts him?
01:15:05Then she gets a little tired of piano music and she comes back and says,
01:15:09Oh, it was just a little whim of mine, so please trot back to the old homestead.
01:15:13You break up a whole life and then think you can put it back together again in one afternoon.
01:15:17Oh, no, it's not that easy.
01:15:20I didn't expect it to be easy.
01:15:22To tell you what I think of you would take more than just one afternoon.
01:15:28How about dinner?
01:15:29Dinner?
01:15:30Couldn't we just have dinner together tonight?
01:15:33I'm sorry. I'm engaged for dinner.
01:15:35Oh, that girl.
01:15:37Yes, that girl. I don't like your tone.
01:15:39I'm sorry.
01:15:41First you're trying to mess up my life and now you want to spoil that girl's Sunday.
01:15:44Sally doesn't get every day off, you know. Sally works hard.
01:15:47Oh, she does.
01:15:49Now what's wrong with that?
01:15:51Nothing.
01:15:52She doesn't have everything dumped in her lap like you.
01:15:55She hasn't time to go to crazy art galleries, play around with second-rate musicians or go to psychoanalysts.
01:16:01She hasn't a husband to pay for her complexes.
01:16:03Sally's a mighty fine girl, much finer than your Mr. Sebastian.
01:16:07She doesn't wear your shirts, either.
01:16:10Did he take?
01:16:11Oh, skip it.
01:16:12Here.
01:16:13You promised to love, honor, and obey.
01:16:17And here.
01:16:19That's the first time we met.
01:16:21That's an awful picture of me.
01:16:23But you were a fine girl.
01:16:25I didn't bore you with my insurance then.
01:16:27You listened to everything.
01:16:28You wanted to know everything about me and my work.
01:16:30You wanted to help.
01:16:31Oh, Larry.
01:16:32And here.
01:16:34I remember everything you said to me.
01:16:36I'd love to say it again, Larry, if you'd only give me the chance.
01:16:39Hmm.
01:16:40Just to forget it again.
01:16:41No, Larry.
01:16:42Never again.
01:16:43I swear.
01:16:44There's no use pretending.
01:16:46I'm defeated.
01:16:55Gee.
01:16:57I'll always remember that tree in front of our hotel window.
01:16:59And that funny old Italian waiter?
01:17:01Oh, that wasn't here.
01:17:02Oh, yes.
01:17:03No.
01:17:04No, it wasn't.
01:17:05No, no, here.
01:17:06Oh, that's right.
01:17:07That's that front porch.
01:17:10Our first breakfast.
01:17:11Yes.
01:17:12Oh, Larry, couldn't we have dinner together?
01:17:15Not tonight.
01:17:16Why not?
01:17:18Sally.
01:17:19Let me talk to her.
01:17:20Oh, no.
01:17:21Woman to woman.
01:17:22She'll understand.
01:17:23No, no.
01:17:24Please, Larry.
01:17:25Well, you don't deserve it, but I'll see what I can do.
01:17:29Thank you, darling.
01:17:30You stay right here.
01:17:36It's going to be very tough.
01:17:37You stay right here, darling.
01:17:57Sally Aikens.
01:17:58Aikens.
01:18:00That girl.
01:18:02That girl.
01:18:23Keeks!
01:18:32How do you do, Miss Aiken?
01:18:36Oh, hello, Mrs. Baker.
01:18:38Nice to see you.
01:18:42Mr. Baker would have loved to have seen you, but unfortunately he's busy.
01:18:46Oh, he asked me to give you your handbag.
01:18:48Oh, yes, I forgot it.
01:18:50I was doing some secretarial work for Mr. Baker.
01:18:53Oh, secretaries work on Saturday night.
01:18:56Oh, well, I'm a notary public, too.
01:18:59Oh, I see. And you brought your seal?
01:19:01Oh, yes. A train seal.
01:19:03Goodbye, Miss Aiken.
01:19:05Goodbye, Mrs. Baker.
01:19:28Sweet.
01:19:30Looks hopeless.
01:19:44Oh.
01:19:48It's much more serious than I thought.
01:19:50That girl's really in love with me. She adores me.
01:19:53I don't blame her.
01:19:54She says she can't live without me.
01:19:56Why do I believe her?
01:19:57And I, too. It's understandable.
01:19:59You're very wonderful.
01:20:01Oh.
01:20:02Oh, yes, yes, you are.
01:20:05How about dinner?
01:20:06But you know I can't.
01:20:08How about after dinner?
01:20:09Do you want a suicide in your conscience?
01:20:11Oh, no. No, no, not that.
01:20:12Well, there you are.
01:20:14You're right. It's hopeless.
01:20:16That's too bad, Jo.
01:20:18Everything could have been so marvelous.
01:20:20Yes.
01:20:21There's no reason we couldn't really have been happy.
01:20:23Yes, but it's too late now.
01:20:25Yeah.
01:20:26It looks like the end.
01:20:27Goodbye, Larry.
01:20:28And good luck.
01:20:31Good luck.
01:20:32Well, I'll talk to her again.
01:20:45Mrs. Baker home?
01:21:01Yes, ma'am.
01:21:02Never mind.
01:21:03Guess who is back?
01:21:15It's Bolton, the god of gods, coming back to earth.
01:21:45Yes, ma'am.
01:21:46Yes, ma'am.
01:21:53A little bit softer, please.
01:22:15Let's get started.
01:22:17I won't get started.
01:22:18You'll get started.
01:22:19Take a break.
01:22:20Nothing.
01:22:21Wait, you got to know me.
01:22:22I'll call him.
01:22:23No, not my son.
01:22:24Make a break.
01:22:25No, not my son.
01:22:26No, no.
01:22:27Oh, no.
01:22:28No, no.
01:22:29No, no.
01:22:30No, no.
01:22:31No, no.
01:22:32No, no.
01:22:33No, no.
01:22:34You're welcome.
01:22:35No, no.
01:22:36No, no.
01:22:37All right.
01:22:38There he is.
01:22:39Now, I can't buy it.
01:22:41Now, let me play it.
01:22:43That's my son.
01:22:44Oh, my God.
01:23:14Oh, my God.
1:23:32
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