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The misadventures of a British Royal Artillery Concert Party unit stationed in based in Deolali in British India and the fictional village of Tin Min in Burma during the last few months of the Second World War.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:09With music and laughter to help you on your way, to raising the rafters with a hey, hey, hey.
00:15With songs and sketches and jokes old and new, with us about you and Phil Blue.
00:21So meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:26B-O-B-O-Y-S, boys to entertain you.
00:47Everything OK, boss?
00:49Absolutely first class, thank you.
00:51I think it's absolutely disgraceful, the colonel hiring a Chinese cook.
00:56We're all fighting the same war, we should all eat the same food, like they do in the Russian army.
01:01That's a matter, Ashford, you don't seem to be enjoying it.
01:03I'm getting a bit fed up with this cooking.
01:05I don't like messed about food.
01:07This is like something you stuff furniture with.
01:11There's only chicken and vegetables.
01:13I know, it's chicken, I've got the beak.
01:16Lucky it isn't duck, otherwise you might have had the bill.
01:19I don't think that's very funny, sir.
01:23Oh, right.
01:25I like honest, simple food, like toad in the hole and spotted dick.
01:29Right.
01:30I dare say you can do that.
01:31I'll see you in, over here, jelty, oh, chop chop.
01:34Yes, boss.
01:35Do you know anything about spotted dick?
01:37Don't blame my food, boss.
01:39How about toad in the hole?
01:43Not put toad in the hole, put toad in the rice.
01:47How do you enjoy the food, sir?
01:48Not bad, sir.
01:50I quite enjoy them little currants.
01:52Not currants, dried pet poles.
02:00By the way, sir, don't forget that welfare officer's coming this afternoon.
02:04Oh, yes, I'd quite forgotten about her.
02:06Her? Did you say her?
02:07Yes, Captain Georgina Tollemash.
02:10She's Chief Welfare Officer,
02:11coming over today to see if the men have got any problems once sorting out.
02:15Sergeant Major and I, we met her once, didn't we, at GHQ?
02:17What's she like? Is she young and beautiful?
02:19No, not exactly.
02:21Rather gauche, actually.
02:23Mind you, there's a lot of breeding there.
02:25Between you and me, sir,
02:27I heard on the grapevine,
02:28she's a bit of a gore.
02:31What?
02:33You know, sir, a bit of a gore.
02:34How dare you talk like that about a lady captain?
02:39Come off it, Ashford. We're all men here.
02:42I must say, you surprised me, Sergeant Major.
02:43A bit of a gore, eh?
02:46I'll be quite frank with you, sir.
02:49This sort of talk makes me feel sick.
02:51If you haven't got his standards or principles,
02:56I have.
03:00What's the matter with Captain Ashford?
03:03Very narrow-minded, you know.
03:05If you ask me, sir,
03:06it's a question of dog in the manger.
03:09He'd like to, but he didn't.
03:13Do you really think so?
03:14No doubt about it, sir.
03:15Very passionate man.
03:17Ashford passionate?
03:18You can't judge my appearances, sir.
03:21I mean, look at the Duke of Wellington.
03:23On the outside, he was a...
03:24an ice-cold man of steel.
03:26But underneath?
03:28Dreadful.
03:30Mistresses all over the place.
03:31Duke of Wellington had mistresses all over the place?
03:33I don't.
03:34Really?
03:35He still found time to invent those boots, though.
03:42And you think Captain Ashford is like that?
03:44Definitely, sir.
03:45Yes, well, he has got the same-shaped nose.
03:48Maybe that's something to do with it.
03:51Shall I?
03:52Yes, sir?
03:52Come back here, lovely boy.
03:56Take this to the, uh, post-depot, Jolly, will you?
03:59Tick us up.
04:00Aye, Jolly.
04:01Do you want any more chance-ups?
04:02I have to take the sergeant major's letter
04:04to the post-depot.
04:06I didn't even know he could write.
04:08He has written every day
04:10since he came back from leave.
04:11Who's he writing to?
04:12A lady he met in Simla.
04:15Here.
04:15Do you mean that while he was away,
04:17he was having it away?
04:20You're so crude.
04:22Come to think of it,
04:22he has been acting a bit strange lately.
04:24I mean, mooning around,
04:26not even shouting at us.
04:27What's her name?
04:28Lady Penelope Garston-Jones.
04:31She's the wife of Brigadier
04:32Sir Holden Garston-Jones.
04:34Are you trying to tell us, Muhammad,
04:36that a titled lady
04:37would have anything to do
04:38with old shut-up?
04:39No, of course she wouldn't.
04:41It is true, I swear.
04:42I wonder what he's got
04:44that her husband hasn't got.
04:46A Welsh accent?
04:49Here, let's have a look at that letter.
04:51Here.
04:52Oh, it's filled.
04:54I'd love to read it.
04:55Sergeant Major has written
04:57most beautiful poetry.
04:58Hey, where'd you get those?
05:00He made several copies
05:01before he got it right.
05:03Like all two artists,
05:05a perfectionist.
05:06Hey, let's have a look.
05:06Give a sip.
05:07Hey, listen to this.
05:09My dear lady Penelope,
05:11I can't eat or sleep
05:13because your love developed me.
05:15Do you want to press that out?
05:17Just as well, I should think.
05:18Yeah.
05:18I can't eat or sleep
05:20because your love envelopes me.
05:24Envelopes.
05:25Envelopes me?
05:26Oh, yeah.
05:26I well remember
05:29that tropical night
05:30when you behaved
05:31a bit of all right.
05:34That's good, isn't it?
05:37If you loved me before,
05:38you certainly hid it,
05:40but under the stars,
05:41you did it.
05:44No, that is the most
05:45enchanting poetry
05:46I have ever heard.
05:47Better than Omar Khayyam.
05:49This is not poetry,
05:50it's rubbish.
05:51It rhymes, don't it?
05:52I bet it gets
05:53that old bird lady Penelope going.
05:55Read yours.
05:56My dear lady Garston Jones.
05:59Oh, he's getting formal.
06:01I love you
06:02with all the marrow
06:03of my bones.
06:06I wake up in the night
06:07full of groans.
06:09Oh, no, he's crossed that out.
06:10I wake up in the night
06:11full of moans.
06:13Drones, phones, loans, tones.
06:17Zones.
06:18What did he settle for?
06:21Apprehension.
06:21All over me,
06:24insects did climb,
06:26but I was thinking
06:27of something else
06:28at the time.
06:29Your husband might have
06:30caught us
06:31if we'd been out of luck,
06:32but did we worry?
06:34No, we did not.
06:35Mohammed, go and post this letter
06:41before it burns a hole
06:41in your doughty.
06:42Yes, sir.
06:43I'll carry the Sergeant Major's
06:45beautiful poem
06:46close to my heart.
06:47Oh, joy,
06:48heavenly joy.
06:51I think he could be
06:53persuaded.
06:54Hello.
06:55Good afternoon, ma'am, sir.
06:56Is this the Royal Artillery
06:58Concert Party?
06:59Yes, ma'am, sir.
06:59I'm Captain Tolmash.
07:08It's all right.
07:09Stand at ease.
07:10Oh, I know you.
07:12You're the one
07:13who puts on frocks
07:14and does girls.
07:19That's right.
07:20I'm the leading lady.
07:22I've seen the show
07:23lots of times.
07:24I think you're awfully good.
07:26In fact, the first time
07:26I saw you,
07:27I thought you were
07:28a real girl.
07:30Thank you very much.
07:32And you're the musician?
07:34Yes, that's right.
07:35I play the piano.
07:36And what's your name?
07:37Graham.
07:37You're not one of the
07:38Berkshire Grahams, are you?
07:39No, actually,
07:40we're the Dorset Grahams.
07:42Oh.
07:44And what are you?
07:45I'm one of the
07:46Glasgow Macintoshes.
07:49You're Scottish.
07:50Aye, och, aye, the new.
07:52How did you guess?
07:53Ah, ma'am,
07:54I'll take you over
07:55to meet Colonel Reynolds.
07:56Oh, thanks.
07:57No, I simply adore
07:58theatricals.
07:59We did a lot of them
08:01in honkers
08:01before the war.
08:02Such fun.
08:04Where's honkers?
08:05Oh, Hong Kong,
08:06of course.
08:09Silly, great, top.
08:12Georgie.
08:14Hello, Charles.
08:15Hello.
08:19Oh, this is Captain Ashford.
08:21Jolly, nice to meet you.
08:22Oh.
08:23Gosh.
08:28Nothing.
08:30Ah.
08:30So, you come over
08:31to see if any of our chaps
08:32have got any welfare problems.
08:34Well, in a way, yes,
08:35but my main reason for coming
08:37is, er,
08:38you're Sergeant Major.
08:39Our Sergeant Major?
08:41When he was on leave
08:42in Simla,
08:43he had a bit of a thing
08:44going with a chum of mine.
08:46What sort of thing?
08:48Ah,
08:49you know.
08:49What's her name?
08:51Oh, gosh.
08:52Promise you won't
08:53be the word to anyone.
08:54Well, of course.
08:55Lady Penelope Garston-Jones.
08:57What?
08:57Brigadier Buffy Garston-Jones' wife?
09:00This is damn serious.
09:02A swine.
09:04A principled swine.
09:06To think of him
09:07whispering foul innuendos
09:08into the shell-like ears
09:10of a title lady.
09:12Calm down, Ashford.
09:13We don't even know
09:14she's got shell-like ears.
09:16A little bit juggy, actually.
09:18How far's it got?
09:20I don't know.
09:21Well, it mustn't go any further.
09:23You must have a word
09:24with Lady Penelope.
09:25Oh, I have done, Charles.
09:26I said, look here, Pen.
09:27You've got to break it off.
09:31She's just bonkers about him.
09:33Oh, well, don't worry.
09:34We'll have a word
09:35with the Sergeant Major.
09:36We'll make him do
09:37the decent thing.
09:38If I had my way,
09:39I'd...
09:39Yes, all right.
09:40I think you know
09:40the captain, don't you?
09:41Oh.
09:43Afternoon, Mom.
09:44Oh, er,
09:45good afternoon.
09:46Well, if you'll excuse me,
09:48I'll just go and get
09:48my things from the jeep.
09:54Right, Sergeant Major,
09:55you and I
09:55are going to have
09:56a little talk.
09:57Beg your pardon, sir.
09:58I said you and I...
09:59I've got a minute, Ashford.
10:02OK, sit down, will you?
10:06Ashford.
10:07What has got into you?
10:09How dare you
10:09take over like that?
10:10I'm the Colonel,
10:11and I will conduct
10:12this inquiry.
10:13Thank you very much.
10:14I'm sorry, sir.
10:15All right, well,
10:15don't be such a silly arse.
10:24Right, Sergeant Major,
10:25I'm not going to
10:26beat about the bush.
10:27I'm just going to say
10:27one word,
10:29and that is
10:29similar.
10:34Similar to what, sir?
10:36LAUGHTER
10:36where you had your leave.
10:40Oh, yeah, of course.
10:41And where you struck up
10:42a certain friendship
10:43with a certain lady.
10:45Oh, you know about it?
10:46Yes, we do.
10:47And what's more...
10:47All right, eh?
10:48LAUGHTER
10:49LAUGHTER
10:49Now, how on earth
10:52did this all happen?
10:54Well, if you were Chancellor,
10:55I went for a walk one day
10:57and there she was
10:58by the side of the road.
11:00She couldn't get going,
11:01so...
11:02LAUGHTER
11:03Gave her a kickstart.
11:06LAUGHTER
11:06That did the trick.
11:09Did the trick?
11:11Well, she didn't have
11:13strong enough legs
11:13to do it on her own.
11:14LAUGHTER
11:15After that,
11:16we was well away.
11:18LAUGHTER
11:19Away where?
11:20Well, on her motorbike.
11:22She gave me a lift
11:23back the mess
11:23and then she asked me
11:25to go out with her again
11:26the next day.
11:27What for?
11:28Well, in case she wanted
11:30another kickstart.
11:31LAUGHTER
11:32She was exploring
11:35the countryside, sir.
11:36A very keen nature lover.
11:38And what happened then?
11:40Well, one thing led to another, sir.
11:42You know how it is.
11:44No, I don't.
11:45You must never see her again.
11:47Well, I won't be easy, sir.
11:49I should be sotted.
11:51LAUGHTER
11:52Just got to get un-besotted,
11:53that's all.
11:53Did you know
11:55that she was married
11:57to Brigadier
11:57Sir Holden Garstin-Jones?
11:59Oh, yes, sir,
12:00but he was down in a pun job.
12:02LAUGHTER
12:03But that made it all right,
12:04did it?
12:05Let me tell you something,
12:06Sergeant Major.
12:07I'm a happily married man.
12:08My wife is 6,000 miles away,
12:10but I don't behave
12:11like a randy animal.
12:13LAUGHTER
12:13I don't go charging
12:15round the countryside
12:16giving title ladies
12:17kickstarts.
12:18LAUGHTER
12:19There is such a thing
12:20as standard, Julia.
12:21Calm down, actually.
12:22I'm sorry, sir.
12:23I will have my seat.
12:24All right.
12:24Tell me one thing, Sergeant Major.
12:26What have you got
12:27that Brigadier
12:28Sir Holden Garstin-Jones
12:29hasn't got?
12:30LAUGHTER
12:30Why should a titled lady
12:32prefer you to a husband?
12:33Why? Why?
12:35Well, I suppose
12:36it all boils down to one thing, sir.
12:38LAUGHTER
12:39The Brigadier
12:40isn't much bottle.
12:41LAUGHTER
12:42LAUGHTER
12:43Oh, when I love, I love
12:46There is no two ways
12:48about it.
12:49Do you want any more
12:51char-sabs?
12:52No, thanks, Mohammed.
12:54Tell me, sir,
12:55what are the problems
12:56that the main sahab
12:57has come to help you with?
12:59What does welfare mean?
13:01Well, it's wives,
13:03sweethearts,
13:04getting bints in the club.
13:05That sort of thing.
13:07You married, Mohammed?
13:08I have three wives.
13:10LAUGHTER
13:10Well, doesn't that make life
13:11a bit complicated?
13:13No, sir.
13:13Muslim law is very strict.
13:15I have to spend
13:16two nights with each.
13:17What do you do
13:18on the seventh night?
13:20Pray to Allah.
13:22LAUGHTER
13:22What for?
13:24To give me strength
13:26for the next six nights.
13:28LAUGHTER
13:28Right, sir, Benin.
13:31Right.
13:32Now, you's all on parade
13:33for your welfare problems
13:34and smart yourselves up.
13:36The first man will
13:36step bristly to the table,
13:37salute and present his problem.
13:39Go to Ravens, ma'am.
13:44Go to Ravens, ma'am.
13:45Now, Evans,
13:46I'll deal with the problem alone
13:48or you can tell us all.
13:50It's very confidential.
13:51Oh, very well.
13:51LAUGHTER
13:52LAUGHTER
13:53LAUGHTER
13:54LAUGHTER
13:55LAUGHTER
13:56LAUGHTER
13:57LAUGHTER
13:58LAUGHTER
14:00LAUGHTER
14:02LAUGHTER
14:03LAUGHTER
14:04LAUGHTER
14:05LAUGHTER
14:06LAUGHTER
14:07LAUGHTER
14:08LAUGHTER
14:09LAUGHTER
14:10LAUGHTER
14:11That's that sorted out.
14:13LAUGHTER
14:14Next!
14:15Yes, Sergeant Major.
14:16I've got a Sergeant, ma'am.
14:19What the hell do you think
14:20you're doing, Beaumont?
14:21I'm his friend.
14:22LAUGHTER
14:23I'm going to speak for him.
14:25He's going to speak for himself!
14:27He's very shy.
14:28LAUGHTER
14:28If you think you can help,
14:30sit down, Beaumont.
14:31Thank you, sir.
14:31LAUGHTER
14:32LAUGHTER
14:33LAUGHTER
14:34How dare you cross your legs
14:36in front of the Colonel, Beaumont!
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38I'm sorry, it's force of habit.
14:41Gunner Sugden,
14:42I'll deal with the problem alone
14:43or you can tell us all.
14:46LAUGHTER
14:47It's very intimate.
14:49Speak up!
14:50LAUGHTER
14:50He says it's very intimate.
14:52He says it's very intimate, Bob!
14:53LAUGHTER
14:53LAUGHTER
14:54He says it's very intimate.
14:57Get closer, get closer.
14:58LAUGHTER
14:58LAUGHTER
14:59LAUGHTER
15:00LAUGHTER
15:01I don't need to worry about, Sutton.
15:03Whatever you say will not go beyond us five.
15:05LAUGHTER
15:06LAUGHTER
15:07Your confidences will be as sacred
15:12as the confessional.
15:14LAUGHTER
15:15Now, what is the problem?
15:20It's his wife.
15:21His wife?
15:22Yes.
15:23She keeps writing to him.
15:25LAUGHTER
15:26LAUGHTER
15:27LAUGHTER
15:28She doesn't like sharing the kitchen with Betty.
15:32Who's Betty?
15:34Is that the wife?
15:35LAUGHTER
15:36That's bigamy.
15:37No, he's divorced.
15:38How many wives have we got, Sutton?
15:40Oh, let me see.
15:41There was Agatha...
15:43No, let him answer for himself.
15:45Er...
15:45Two and the one I've got now.
15:48LAUGHTER
15:49When were you first married?
15:52When I was 17.
15:54I worshipped her, put her on a pedestal,
15:56but it didn't work out.
15:57She said she wanted somebody to look up to.
16:00LAUGHTER
16:00You should have stood on a pedestal yourself.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05You still haven't told us what the problem is?
16:11It's the in-laws.
16:12They don't get on.
16:13All 24 of them.
16:15LAUGHTER
16:15And they got married a few times as well.
16:18If I'm there, I won't stand for it.
16:19I walk out.
16:20One of our welfare officers will visit your house
16:23and sort it out.
16:25Yes.
16:25Hey, Sutton.
16:30Was you making all that up?
16:33No, it's worse.
16:34The third wife has found out about the mistresses.
16:37LAUGHTER
16:37Good.
16:51Well, thank you very much for sorting out the men's welfare problems.
16:54You've done a first-class job.
16:55Don't mention it.
16:56And I hope, Sergeant Major,
16:57you're going to do the right thing by a certain lady.
16:59Oh, yes, ma'am.
17:01I've written her a letter to say I is not going to write to her again.
17:05Oh, Widow.
17:06You know,
17:07sometimes one has to be cruel to be kind.
17:12LAUGHTER
17:12I hope I didn't mind my asking you to drive me back to G-HQ.
17:18Not at all.
17:19It's a pleasure.
17:20Before you go,
17:21we've arranged a little ceremony for you
17:23just to show our appreciation.
17:25Carry on, Sergeant Major.
17:26Oh.
17:27Concert party!
17:29Slope!
17:30Ike!
17:35Present!
17:36Ike!
17:36LAUGHTER
17:44LAUGHTER
17:45I don't know that vulture before the cook seat is up there.
17:49Goodbye.
17:50Goodbye.
17:52Three cheers for Captain Tollendash.
17:54Hip, hip.
17:55Hooray!
17:56Hip, hip.
17:57Hooray!
17:58Hip, hip.
17:58Hooray!
17:59Hooray!
17:59Hooray!
18:06What's all right, Snoke?
18:10I'll take a look.
18:13LAUGHTER
18:14LAUGHTER
18:15Do you understand, Engines?
18:27Oh, rather, I took an MT course.
18:29Can I film?
18:30Don't worry.
18:31I can manage.
18:32LAUGHTER
18:34Better let the engine cool off.
18:51Things do get rather heated in the jungle.
18:54They certainly do.
18:56Yes.
18:57Has anyone ever told you
18:58you've got drollin' ice ice?
19:00Um...
19:01Um...
19:02I'll try the engine.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:04Must be out of petrol.
19:08I'll get on the blower.
19:09I shouldn't bother.
19:11What are you talking about?
19:12It'll be dark soon.
19:13We can't sit here all night.
19:14We don't have to sit.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:17Hello?
19:18Ashwood here.
19:19Over.
19:21Hello?
19:22Gun of Parkage here.
19:24Over.
19:25Ah, Parkage.
19:26Tell the Colonel
19:27we're out of petrol
19:29and we're on the road by...
19:31Lock-out!
19:32LAUGHTER
19:32Got it!
19:35Are you mad?
19:37What did you do that for?
19:38There was a scorpion on it.
19:40It was just going to bite you.
19:42LAUGHTER
19:43LAUGHTER
19:44What did Captain Ashwood say, boy?
19:55Yes, sir.
19:56Tell the Colonel
19:56we've run out of petrol
19:58and we're on the road by...
19:59and then the line went dead, sir.
20:01Well done, Parking.
20:02It's a very smart report.
20:03A model soldier, sir.
20:04LAUGHTER
20:04According to my calculation, sir,
20:07they should be on the road
20:08just about there.
20:10Well, that's 15 miles away.
20:12Well, it's only about four miles
20:13if we cut straight across the jungle, sir.
20:15It'll be dark soon.
20:17We can't go wading through the jungle at night.
20:19It's dangerous.
20:20Shut up!
20:21LAUGHTER
20:22Now, Beaumont has a point.
20:23We'll start first thing in the morning.
20:26Excuse me, sir.
20:27Mm-hm.
20:29Do you think it's safe for Captain Ashwood
20:32to be out in the jungle all night?
20:34You mean he might be attacked by wild animals?
20:37I wasn't thinking of wild animals, sir.
20:39LAUGHTER
20:40I'm getting worried.
20:46We might have to wait here for hours.
20:48What are we going to do if it gets dark?
20:50Don't worry.
20:51I've got a tent.
20:53Do you know how to put it up?
20:54LAUGHTER
20:56LAUGHTER
20:57LAUGHTER
20:58LAUGHTER
21:00LAUGHTER
21:01LAUGHTER
21:03LAUGHTER
21:04LAUGHTER
21:05LAUGHTER
21:06LAUGHTER
21:07LAUGHTER
21:08It's quite simple, really.
21:14LAUGHTER
21:23It's rather small, isn't it?
21:26It's a two-man tent.
21:27Or in our case,
21:28a one-man, one-woman tent.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:31Surely you're not suggesting...
21:33Why not?
21:33From the first moment I saw you,
21:35I was attracted by you.
21:36I know that underneath that cool exterior,
21:38you're a man.
21:39Sensual, savage, oozing virility.
21:43It's a desperation.
21:44LAUGHTER
21:45I want you, Ashwood.
21:47But I'm a married man!
21:49What's that got to do with it?
21:51What's your second name?
21:54Tarquin.
21:54LAUGHTER
21:55What's your second name?
21:56I shall call you Tark.
21:58Tark.
21:59Tark.
22:00Tark.
22:01You sound like a duck.
22:03LAUGHTER
22:04Listen.
22:04What's that noise?
22:08Only my heart beating.
22:10This is again.
22:11It could be tigers.
22:13Oh, well, we'd better get up a tree.
22:15We can spend the night there.
22:18LAUGHTER
22:18But if we fall asleep, we could fall out.
22:22We won't fall asleep.
22:23You'll have to hold me tight all night.
22:25I can't stand heights.
22:26LAUGHTER
22:26LAUGHTER
22:27But my wife belongs to the Townswomen's Guild.
22:34Don't worry.
22:35I'm not a member.
22:36LAUGHTER
22:37Hurry along, then.
22:44Move yourselves.
22:45It's half past five in the morning, Sergeant Major.
22:47Shut up and move yourself!
22:49LAUGHTER
22:49The thing is, sir,
22:52what is we going to use to carry the petrol in?
22:55Why don't we carry the drum as it is, sir?
22:57You blithering idiot.
22:58We can't carry this thing four miles.
23:00There's 50 gallons in it.
23:01We only need six.
23:03Well, sir,
23:04why don't we empty 42 gallons out
23:06and carry it with the six that are left in it?
23:10LAUGHTER
23:10Shut up!
23:14Why don't we use the Charwawa's urn, sir?
23:17Please, sir, don't use my urn.
23:19It will make my tea taste horrible.
23:22We might improve it.
23:24LAUGHTER
23:25Now, I want you all to think
23:27what we can carry the petrol in.
23:30LAUGHTER
23:31Don't spill it. Don't spill it!
23:35LAUGHTER
23:36LAUGHTER
23:37I'll never be able to eat out of these again.
23:46I'll never be able to wear this again.
23:48LAUGHTER
23:49I will never be able to wear this again.
23:50Look!
23:51Let me know...
23:52Oh, my God...
23:54Why aren't we wearing this?
23:56LAUGHTER
23:58Oh...
23:58Oh, it's good.
24:08LAUGHTER
24:09No...
24:10But, who are you saying?
24:10LAUGHTER
24:13What is...
24:14LAUGHTER
24:14LAUGHTER
24:14LAUGHTER
24:28Throw the helmet away, Lofty!
24:30What?
24:31Throw it out, you motherfucker!
24:37Help!
24:38I'll put it out!
24:40LAUGHTER
24:44It's full!
24:46What did you do that for?
24:48I'm sorry, sir. I forgot. I thought it was water.
24:51He thought it was water, sir. Don't blame him. He's got very quick reflection.
24:54Take your shirts off! Beat it out! Beat it out!
24:57Yes, sir!
24:58Beat it out!
24:59You won't want to come back!
25:00Take your shirts off! Move yourself!
25:02Come on, let's have you!
25:03Beat it out! Beat it out!
25:05Come on, come on!
25:06Beat it out!
25:07Beat it out!
25:08We'll have a configuration on our hands!
25:11LAUGHTER
25:13Get the roof!
25:14Cut the roof!
25:15Let it die!
25:16Shut up!
25:17Shut up!
25:18Shut up!
25:19Shut up!
25:20Shut up!
25:21You won't have a shooting!
25:22Shut up!
25:23Shut up!
25:24Shut up!
25:26Shut up!
25:28Shut up!
25:29Shut up!
25:31Shut up!
25:32I'm gonna use your trousers!
25:33Cut them off!
25:34Cut them off!
25:35Shut up!
25:37I don't set the birds on the fire.
25:47There's a jeep, sir.
25:51Where are they?
25:54Uh, Beaumont, you'd better look inside the tent.
25:59Do you think I ought to, sir?
26:00Do as you're told.
26:07There's nobody in there, sir.
26:14It's all very strange, I admit it.
26:17It certainly is, sir.
26:19Where on earth are they?
26:21Good Lord.
26:26Asherd!
26:28Oh, oh, I see.
26:31Good morning, sir.
26:32Ha!
26:33Who were you with the last night?
26:46There we go.
26:48That's all right now, Mum.
26:49And, uh, your stuff's all loaded.
26:54Oh.
27:03Wonderful woman, sir.
27:05Salt of the earth.
27:07I'd say she's absolute mustard.
27:11Excuse me, sir.
27:12Your Captain Tolemash wants me to drive her back to DBHQ.
27:15You've got a damn nerve, Sergeant Major.
27:18Steady on, Asherd.
27:19Are you ready, Sergeant Major?
27:21Coming, ma'am.
27:26There's one thing, Asherd.
27:28I don't think she'll need a kickstart.
27:29I don't think she'll need a kickstart.
27:50As they change the girls are in you, we last are back.
27:53You give up when they start me.
27:55And then the boys are here, the boys are waiting to take you.
28:00I feel too many together, so give us a cheer with a head, head, head.
28:06Just gather your mind, but nobody's done.
28:09We last are back, they're waiting in front.
28:12So, we last are back, the boys are here, the boys are waiting to take you.
28:17P-O-P-O-Y-S, boys, to entertain you.
28:25End of hope and glory, mother of the...
28:30Shut up!
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