- hace 5 días
The Farkases (Tom Bosley and Alice Ghostley)—neighbors of Max and 99—are in the employ of KAOS. When KAOS needs the contents of an attaché case the Chief is carrying, Mrs. Farkas arranges to supply 99 with a dessert for the supper she has prepared for Max and the Chief... a poisoned mousse. While Max and the Chief suffer the gastric effects of the mousse, Mr. Farkas is to go in and capture the contents of the case. Agent 99 discovers what has happened and is kidnapped, tied up and zipped up in a garment bag. Will Max live to stop them?
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00:00The End
00:30They got all the exits covered
00:38I just don't understand it
00:40It was supposed to be a carefully guarded secret
00:43That the defecting agent was going to be smuggled into this country
00:46In a barrel of sauerkraut
00:47Sauerkraut?
00:49I wish you had told me that before, Chief
00:50Why?
00:51Because when I was over there shooting it out with them before
00:53I used a barrel of sauerkraut for cover
00:55It got riddled with bullets
00:56Yes, there are hundreds of barrels in here
00:59The chances that you pick that particular one to hide behind
01:01Is very unlikely
01:03I wouldn't bet on that, Chief
01:04Because the barrel of sauerkraut that I use
01:06Did a lot of screaming
01:07I wish I could figure out
01:10Who tipped off chaos
01:12Excuse me, Chief
01:16Hello?
01:22Hi, honey
01:22Did I catch you at a bad time?
01:24Yes, well, to tell you the truth, 99
01:26The Chief and I are shooting it out with a couple of chaos agents
01:28Okay, I'll keep it short
01:30Would you pick up a...
01:31Hold it, 99
01:34Chief, I can't hear a word 99 is saying
01:36Would you put a silencer on your gun?
01:39What is it, sweetheart?
01:40I wondered if you could stop on the way home
01:41And pick up a bottle of wine for dinner
01:43How about a nice bottle of Petit Chablis 1957?
01:53Oh, that would be marvelous
01:54Don't forget the corkscrew
01:56We won't need a corkscrew
01:59Try not to be late for dinner, Max
02:0199?
02:02What are you doing home so early?
02:04I thought you were out on an assignment
02:05I was, but I wound it up early
02:07I was being followed by some chaos men
02:09But I outsmarted them
02:10I sent them on a wild goose chase
02:12Where did you send them?
02:13To Pier 47
02:14Oh, that's too bad
02:15It would have been better if you'd send them to Pier 50
02:17Why?
02:18We're at Pier 47
02:19Listen, honey
02:22I've got to get back to work
02:23I'll talk to you later
02:24Right, Max
02:25And please drive carefully
02:27I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:28Don't worry, honey
02:29I'll be careful
02:30Goodbye
02:30I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:31I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:32I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:33I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:34I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:35I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:36I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:37I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:38I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:39I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:40I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:41I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:42I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
02:43I don't want you to have an accident on the way home
03:14Thanks, let's move.
03:44Listen, Chief, why don't you come home with me tonight and meet the little woman?
03:54Hey, she's a wonderful girl.
03:56Max, what are you talking about?
03:57I've known 99 for years.
03:59Yes, but you just know her as 99 the spy.
04:01You don't know her as 99 the wife.
04:05What are you doing tonight, Chief?
04:07Well, the way things are going, it looks like I'll be right here.
04:09Well, that doesn't sound like much fun.
04:14Listen, why don't you come home and have dinner with 99 and me?
04:16You haven't seen the apartment since it's been redecorated.
04:19I'd love to, Max, but if reinforcements don't get here soon, I don't think either you or
04:24I will be going home to have dinner with 99.
04:26I've just run out of ammunition.
04:27Well, I guess that leaves it up to me, Chief.
04:31Don't tell me you ran out of ammunition, too.
04:33I ran out of ammunition.
04:35I asked you not to tell me that.
04:38Max, hand me that bottle.
04:39Wait a minute, Chief.
04:40You can't have this wine.
04:41I'm taking it home.
04:4299 and I are going to have it with dinner tonight.
04:44Hand me the bottle, Max.
04:45I'm going to make a Molotov cocktail.
04:47You can't make a Molotov cocktail with wine.
04:50I know that.
04:52You have to make it with vodka.
04:54Max, hand me that can over there.
04:59You got to be very careful, Chief, when you're opening a bottle of wine, because if you're
05:03not, you get little corks floating all around in the wine.
05:05Here.
05:10Hey, I, Chief.
05:13Chief, what are you doing?
05:14You're getting wine all over the warehouse floor.
05:16You're making a big mess.
05:17Just be quiet and keep your eye on them.
05:20We're in luck, Chief.
05:22They haven't gotten away yet.
05:23If you like this, you stay down.
05:28All right, get out.
05:39You better not look, Chief.
05:44That bad, Max?
05:46Sauerkraut.
05:47All over the place.
05:56Who is it?
05:59Naomi Farkas.
06:00Have you got a minute, honey?
06:01Uh, I'll be right with you, Mrs. Farkas.
06:04Naomi.
06:05Oh, yeah.
06:10Hello.
06:10Well, we could smell your delicious cooking all the way next door, and my husband, Emil,
06:15said to me, well, Mrs. Smart is making corn, beef, and cabbage.
06:18It's, uh, beef wellington.
06:20Oh, well, Emil's got sinus trouble.
06:21Oh.
06:22I can't get over how many locks you have on your door.
06:25Oh, um, well, Max leaves me alone a lot, and, uh, he likes to feel that I'm safe.
06:30Oh, well, you're lucky to have a husband who cares.
06:32When Emil goes out, he leaves the key on top of the map.
06:36Nice.
06:37Oh.
06:37I knew you were doing something special for your Max this evening, so I brought you these.
06:41Oh, but isn't that sweet of you?
06:42I'll put them in some water.
06:43No, you cook.
06:44I'll put.
06:47Oh.
06:48Oh, what lovely.
06:50China.
06:51Emil gets ours from the service station where he gets gas, which he says is very appropriate
06:55because that's what my cooking gives him.
06:59Well, I'll put these on the table.
07:00Oh, that's all right.
07:01I can do that one.
07:01Oh, no, no, no, I'll do it.
07:07Where's your husband?
07:08Taking a nap?
07:09No, he's working late.
07:10Oh, that's one thing Emil hates to do.
07:12Work late?
07:13No, work.
07:14What is it your husband does for a living?
07:16He's in the greeting card business.
07:18Now, that's a good business.
07:19No matter what, there's always a birthday, a graduation, a Christmas.
07:23I wish Emil would get into a business like that.
07:25Your husband wouldn't happen to need a bum for an assistant, would he?
07:29I don't think so.
07:30Well, I won't escape you.
07:31Enjoy the flowers, honey.
07:50Oh, I found it again.
07:52Oh, I'm so sorry.
07:54That's just reflex action, you know.
07:56I guess I've been a spy longer than I've been a wife, and every time someone sneaks up behind me, I just automatically...
08:01Oh, my God.
08:03Oh.
08:03It's all right, 99.
08:07It's all right.
08:08Luckily, I wasn't standing near an open window like I was the last time.
08:12I said, well, I was just going to kiss you.
08:14All right, but be careful.
08:15How did everything go at Pier 47?
08:21Everything went pretty good.
08:22We got two chaos agents, a bottle of wine, and a pint of sauerkraut.
08:27Gee, 99, this is a beautiful table.
08:29Oh, I'm glad you like it, Max.
08:31The flowers are for Mrs. Farkas in the next apartment.
08:33Huh?
08:36Mrs. Farkas bought you these flowers?
08:38What'd you do, steal them?
08:39Well, I like that.
08:41I'm nice enough to take them flowers, and he wants to know, did I steal them?
08:44Where did you get them?
08:45I stole them.
08:46I spend some more time over here with you than I do.
08:49She's always dropping in for a few minutes and staying a few hours, asking all kinds of questions, prying.
08:54Oh, Max, she may be a pain in the neck and a busy body, but she's an awfully sweet person.
08:58Well, she got two out of three.
09:01Look, who's talking?
09:02Mr. Suave, who wears his socks to bed.
09:05I only do that so I won't get my feet dirty from the sheets.
09:10Anyway, I can think of better jobs than sitting around this crummy apartment listening in on a couple of control agents.
09:16Maybe you can think of better jobs, but you can't get any.
09:19If my brother Arnold weren't district manager of chaos, we wouldn't even have this.
09:25Oh, mighty prince of unemployment.
09:27Ninety-nine?
09:30Yes, Max?
09:31Guess who's coming to dinner?
09:32Who?
09:33The chief.
09:34Oh, boy, if this isn't enough.
09:37Now we've got to sit around and listen to an Indian all night.
09:40The chief of control, dummy.
09:42This is the chance we've been waiting for.
09:45Max, did you say the chief?
09:47You invited your boss for dinner tonight?
09:49What are you talking about my boss?
09:51He's your boss, too.
09:52Well, I know that, but this is the first time he's been to dinner since we've been married, and I am your wife, and he is your boss, and I wanted everything to be perfect.
10:00Ninety-nine.
10:01Oh, Max, you could have given me some warning.
10:04All we're having is artichoke hearts vinaigrette with fresh baby shrimp and vichyssoise and beef wellington.
10:11Well, it'd just have to take potluck, that's all.
10:13And dessert.
10:14We don't have any dessert, and you know how the chief loves dessert.
10:17Well, why don't you serve the vichyssoise dessert and tell him that it was potato ice cream that melted?
10:23I'll think of something.
10:26Max, what did the chief give us for a wedding gift?
10:29Why? What difference does it make?
10:31Well, if he doesn't see it, he'll think we didn't like it.
10:33What was it he gave us?
10:34I don't remember, but I'm sure it was something we didn't like.
10:37Max! It doesn't look like an apartment anymore. It looks like a trading stamp redemption center.
10:50That's when you told me to put everything out, Ninety-Nine.
10:53Well, everything appropriate to a living room.
10:55Well, I'll put the rest of the stuff away.
10:58Can you imagine anybody giving a croquet set to somebody who lives in an apartment?
11:05Max, he's here!
11:07Oh, hi, chief.
11:10Hi, Max.
11:11Come on in.
11:11Hello, Ninety-Nine.
11:12Hello, chief.
11:13Oh, Ninety-Nine. Your apartment looks really lovely.
11:16You and Max have done a fabulous job of redecorating.
11:19Oh, thank you, chief.
11:20What's all this?
11:21Yeah, wedding gifts, chief. And we certainly loved yours.
11:25How do you know? You haven't opened it yet.
11:27Yes, well, well, we know we're going to love it.
11:29We'll open it right after dinner.
11:31Well, I hope you like it. It's a croquet set.
11:32Uh, chief, could I, uh, take your attache case?
11:37Oh, no thanks, Max. It's top secret. It contains the names of all the chaos agents who are about to defect to us.
11:43Could you hold it down, please?
11:44There's an emergency meeting at the Pentagon tonight, and I'm going to go there directly from here.
11:53How do you like that?
11:54I don't. It's terrible.
11:56If you weren't so busy stuffing yourself, you'd have heard what they were saying.
12:00Look, the only reason I eat this food is because the garbage man refuses to take it away.
12:05Well, if you'd been listening, you'd know that the chief has an attache case full of top secret papers with him.
12:12So?
12:12So, if we can get those papers, it might mean a big bonus for us.
12:16Yeah, and we sure could use the extra money.
12:20We could eat out more.
12:24We've got to get a look at the names on that list.
12:27But it's going to take finesse.
12:29Yeah.
12:30Why don't we kill him?
12:32Oh, that's some finesse.
12:34Chaos goes to all the trouble to set us up with a permanent pipeline to their apartment,
12:39to learn control secrets, and you want to blow the whole thing by killing them.
12:44Well, we've got to get in there and take pictures of that list.
12:49We could just get them out of the way for a few minutes.
12:52Wait a minute.
12:53Why don't we poison them?
12:55Well, not enough to kill them, but just enough to make them very sick.
13:01But what can we give them to make them that sick?
13:1999, that's the most delicious meal I've had in months.
13:21Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, chief.
13:23She's a great cook, Max.
13:24You should taste her cornflakes, chief.
13:26Well, how would you like some coffee now?
13:29Oh, I'd love some.
13:30Good.
13:31With my dessert.
13:32Oh, with your dessert?
13:33Mm-hmm.
13:35You'd like your dessert right now?
13:36No, it's fine.
13:37Uh-huh.
13:37Okay.
13:37I'll get you some dessert.
13:40Would you like a little more wine, chief?
13:42Well, just a drop.
13:43I've got to be at that meeting in an hour.
13:46Forgot to take the cork out, Max.
13:47Oh.
13:48Say when.
13:50When.
13:53Dessert.
13:54Dessert.
13:55Dessert.
13:58Who is it?
13:59Naomi Barker.
14:00Have you got a minute, honey?
14:02I'm sorry.
14:03Right now, I can't.
14:03Now, listen.
14:04My brother and his wife were supposed to come to dinner this evening, but at the last minute,
14:08they couldn't make it.
14:09So, I thought maybe you and your hubby might like some extra dessert.
14:13Chocolate mousse.
14:14You are a lifesaver, Mrs. Barker.
14:17Naomi.
14:18Naomi.
14:19Oh, nonsense.
14:20What are neighbors for?
14:21Now, you run along and eat it before it gets stale.
14:24Oh, thank you so much.
14:25Oh, my pleasure.
14:27Oh.
14:38Surprise.
14:39Chocolate mousse.
14:40Oh.
14:41Don't wait for me.
14:42I'm on a diet.
14:43I'll get you some coffee.
14:44Oh, chocolate mousse is my favorite dessert, 99.
14:46Oh, good.
14:47You know, Max, you're a very lucky man.
14:4999 makes a fabulous artichoke vinaigrette, vichy soise beyond compare, superb beef wellington,
14:56and a terrible chocolate mousse.
15:01I only put in a drop of the stuff.
15:04I can't understand it.
15:06Me neither.
15:07You'd think the poison would have improved the taste.
15:09Well, how are you enjoying the chocolate mousse?
15:14Well, uh...
15:15Cheap?
15:15Mm-hmm.
15:17Max?
15:18Mm-hmm.
15:19Mm-hmm.
15:22Well, the coffee's almost ready.
15:23I'll go get it.
15:24Mm-hmm.
15:27Max, I'm getting a pain in my stomach.
15:30Me too, Cheap.
15:31I'm not eating any more of this stuff.
15:33Where are you going?
15:34I'm going to dump it in this plant over here.
15:37No, I better not.
15:37It might kill it.
15:39It's a plastic plant.
15:41I know, but it might kill it anyway.
15:43Max, we're going to have to finish this.
15:44Otherwise, we're going to hurt 99's feelings.
15:51Oh!
15:52What?
15:53Oh, Susanna, don't you bother me.
15:56Oh!
15:57Oh, I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee.
16:01Well, I'm glad you're having such a good time.
16:03Oh, yes.
16:04This is lots of fun, 99.
16:06Why don't you just join right in?
16:08How'd you like the dessert, Cheap?
16:10Wine.
16:12There's more if you want it.
16:14No, thank you, 99.
16:16I have to watch my weight.
16:20Oh!
16:22Shh, not so loud, Cheap.
16:2499 will hear you.
16:25Oh!
16:26Oh!
16:27I have anything we can take for our stomachs.
16:29There must be something upstairs in the medicine chest.
16:32Well, what if there isn't?
16:33What do we take?
16:34A cab from the nurse's hospital?
16:37They're out of the room.
16:38Now we can get over there and photograph that list.
16:40My plan is beginning to work.
16:42What do you mean your plan is beginning to work?
16:44She didn't need any dessert.
16:46Now how are we going to take pictures with her around?
16:48Don't worry about that.
16:49I'll keep her busy in the kitchen.
16:50I'll help her do the dishes.
16:51Meanwhile, you take the pictures.
16:53No, no, no.
16:54You are not going to do the dishes over there until you've done the dishes here first.
16:59What?
16:59I know you, Naomi.
17:00We'll get the pictures, and then we'll come back here, and you'll say,
17:04Look, I did the dishes over there.
17:07Now it's your turn to do the dishes over here.
17:09No, thank you.
17:12Amel, I'm not one to make threats, but if you don't do what I'm telling you to do, I'm warning you.
17:20I'll get up tomorrow morning and make you breakfast.
17:23I'll get the camera.
17:30Who is it?
17:31It's me again.
17:32Hi.
17:35Hi.
17:35How did your dinner go?
17:37Did Max like the moose?
17:38Oh, he loved it, and so did our guest.
17:39Oh, I didn't know you had a guest.
17:41Yes, Max brought the...
17:42Uh, his balls home for dinner.
17:44Oh, I bet you made a great impression.
17:45Well, I think I did, Mrs. Vargas.
17:47Naomi.
17:49Listen, dear.
17:50You keep on rinsing your dishes, and I'll start clearing.
17:52Oh, no, please don't go to all that trouble.
17:54It's no trouble at all.
17:55No, I need the exercise.
17:57I'll jog.
17:57Did you bring the camera?
18:08Now, they're upstairs, and she's in the kitchen, so you take the pictures in there so that if
18:13anyone comes back unexpectedly, they won't see you.
18:16You better, I need...
18:17Shh, shh.
18:17Get in there.
18:20Come on.
18:27You're lucky to have such lovely things, honey.
18:33Look at these exquisite wine goblets.
18:35I'd love to have some if peanut butter doesn't come in them.
18:43Amy, are you taking the pictures?
18:45Yeah, but I don't think they're gonna turn out so good.
18:48Why not?
18:49There's no flash attachment on this camera.
18:51Oh, dummy.
18:53You've been taking pictures in the dark.
18:55I'm a dummy.
18:56You're the one that shoved me in here.
18:57Shut up.
18:58Come and take them out here.
18:59We don't have much time.
19:00Oh!
19:01Oh!
19:09Tried everything in the medicine cabinet, and nothing worked.
19:13Not even those little chocolate things.
19:16Chief?
19:17What?
19:18I think you better just rest over there on the couch for a while.
19:22I'll be back in a few minutes.
19:24Boy, where are you going?
19:24I'm going into the kitchen and destroy that recipe.
19:28Well, suppose you can't find it.
19:30Then I'm gonna destroy the kitchen.
19:34Max.
19:36What?
19:36If she tries to stop you, kill her.
19:47Ninety-nine?
19:48I think the dinner went well, Max.
19:51Yes.
19:52The chief certainly seemed to enjoy it.
19:54Ninety-nine, there's something that I have to...
19:56He went through the artichokes and the beef wellington like he hadn't eaten in a week.
20:00But there's one thing I can't take credit for.
20:01That's the dessert.
20:03You certainly can't.
20:04No, Mrs. Farkas made the moose.
20:07Mrs. Farkas made the moose?
20:09Mm-hmm.
20:09It was really a coincidence.
20:11Remember I told you I didn't have any dessert?
20:13Well, it was almost as though she knew that.
20:15Because when I came out into the kitchen, desperately looking for something to serve the chief,
20:19there she was with the moose.
20:20Max, could I talk to you for a minute?
20:22It was a lovely dinner, Ninety-nine.
20:28Hurry up and take the pictures.
20:30We'll have to do it more often, chief.
20:31Mrs. Farkas!
20:38Naomi!
20:39Put a voice down, honey, and don't yell for your husband.
20:42You might as well know we're chaos.
20:44You're holding a gun, Honor, and I'm taking pictures of secret documents.
20:47Who else would you think we were, Sonny and Cher?
20:50So you see, chief, it wasn't Ninety-Nine who made the chocolate moose.
20:56It was our neighbor, Mrs. Farkas.
20:58Farkas.
20:59Farkas.
20:59Yes, they moved in about two weeks ago.
21:01That name sounds familiar to me, Max.
21:03Farkas.
21:03Describe them to me.
21:04Well, let me see now.
21:06Short, muscular, tough-looking.
21:08What did she look like?
21:09That's her.
21:09Of course.
21:11Naomi Farkas.
21:12She and her husband work for chaos.
21:13Her brother, Arnold Borgia, is district manager.
21:16Yes, I remember him.
21:17He started to work for chaos at the same time that I started to work for control.
21:21And now he's district manager?
21:23Boy, they sure get promoted faster over there.
21:25That's the point.
21:27If Naomi Farkas is a chaos agent, and she made the chocolate moose, and we're sick, it stands
21:31to reason she tried to poison us.
21:33But, chief, if they wanted to kill us, why would they take the slow way?
21:36Well, maybe they didn't want to kill us.
21:38Maybe they wanted us sick enough so that we'd have to leave the room because there's something
21:42out there they want.
21:43Of course.
21:44Our wedding gifts.
21:44No, Max.
21:45Something more important.
21:48My attache keys.
21:50Ninety-nine.
21:51Ninety-nine.
21:52Who is it?
21:56Will you wait a minute?
21:57There's someone at the front door.
22:03Max the Farkases.
22:04They're chaos agents.
22:05They stole the chief's attache case.
22:07I'm going after them, Ninety-nine.
22:08No, they got too much of a head start.
22:09You'll never catch them.
22:10Then there's only one thing to do.
22:11What's that, chief?
22:12This is a new device invented by the lab.
22:15The control remote control developed for just such an emergency as this.
22:18Now, when I press this button, it will blow up that attache case wherever it is.
22:22Well, what about the secret papers?
22:23They'll be destroyed.
22:24Well, better that than have them fall into the hands of chaos.
22:27Now, when I press this button, in five seconds, that attache case will go up in smoke.
22:31Five.
22:32Max, is this your black attache case in here?
22:34Four.
22:35I thought yours was brown.
22:36Three.
22:37It is brown.
22:38Two.
22:39The chief's is black.
22:40One.
22:41The cheese!
22:45Ninety-nine.
22:45Are you all right?
22:46Yes, I think so.
22:47Why?
22:50They took Max's attache case by mistake.
22:53When I blew up mine when I didn't even have to.
22:55This whole list of chaos defectors that Kensington worked on for so long.
23:00Was that the Kensington list?
23:02Yes, why?
23:02Well, I helped Kensington decode that list.
23:05You did?
23:06Yes, I didn't know what it was at the time, but I dashed off a copy of that list in pencil.
23:10Max, that's wonderful.
23:12Yes, there's just one problem.
23:13I'll have to go to that meeting with you because I'm the only one that can read my own notes.
23:17Max, I don't know how to thank you.
23:19I'm proud of you.
23:20I am really proud of you.
23:21Now, come on, let's go.
23:22We'll be late for the meeting.
23:24Ninety-nine, thank you very much for a delicious dinner.
23:27Oh.
23:30Wait a minute, chief.
23:31I've got to kiss Ninety-nine goodbye.
23:33Well, hurry up, Max.
23:36Oh!
23:39Oh, no, I did it again.
23:41What happened?
23:42Oh, it's just this reflex thing I do every time someone sneaks up behind me.
23:45I just automatically...
23:47Oh!
23:48Gee, I did it again.
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24:46