- 2 days ago
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00:00Previously on Love Island Beyond the Villa, you were saying that I was afraid I fucking love you
00:14Do you miss Keeler? Yes, Keeler you do miss her. Yeah, I do
00:20We dead the issue, but that hurt still remains you do this every time to go out. Why aren't Kenny and I living together?
00:30It's important for me to just have my space
00:33Cordell's cat is coming to live with him in LA. I am like deathly afraid of cats always have been
00:42Oh my god, I do have an appointment today to do a biopsy
00:47I'm in sheer panic the more you like your thoughts to let's dive into the negative of it the worse you're gonna feel
00:53I'm gonna come this weekend. Are you saying really? Yeah
00:57I'm very grateful don't get me wrong, but I was happier with my little wife
01:02Then this life. Yeah, I think Keeler likes the idea of this big like city life
01:07But I think she's much more of a small-town country girl. I'm okay. Sure
01:13No, I'm not really okay at all
01:15I feel like you need a hug
01:18Thanks
01:20Oh
01:40Are you excited? I'm a little nervous. That's okay. I remember in third grade my first Jackie. I was nervous
01:45Like what if I forget to feed it? What? No, that's what the duck bulls for
01:52What if I forget to put the food out like I'm rushing in the morning? Thank god, I'm right next door
01:58Kenny has never had a dog before he's never had an animal growing up
02:02So Kenny thought maybe reaching out to Leah and asking how the whole fostering works would be a good idea
02:08So on the list literally on the list of things that she wanted to do in LA
02:15Fostering a dog taking care of an animal was on that list because you
02:19Voiced it I did not have a list the foster place is gonna set up a meeting this week
02:24Okay, and that's we're gonna meet the dog in person at a park
02:27Then I said yeah, I'll add it to the list
02:31Okay, and that's how it went I was thinking of inviting Leah and Miguel since they this is what they do
02:37Oh, yeah, do you come from that should we ask them? Yeah, I think they could give us like tips. We should check on them
02:45Hi beautiful people
02:49So excited I'm so excited to be a dad
02:58Miguel's a pro well you guys should come with us if you would like to meet yeah
03:07All three of you sure can I did not
03:17All right, you guys there are your aprons you can go ahead and put them on and then we'll get class started
03:24Oh, you know what let's switch the aprons. I just realized
03:28Wait that one apron is like already said for someone like a little more petite
03:44Let's get started we are gonna be making go ribeye steak with bourbon mushroom cream sauce
03:50Me and Cordell we love being with each other. It's a lot of play play a lot of fun
03:53We're going to salt at a girl. You're not scared damn. All right. All right. I'm like wiping it off
04:02He told me he was moving here right after the show
04:05I was just so excited. I was so happy like I have my person in LA with me. I couldn't imagine like not being with him
04:12I'm getting a little heat on my stove here, and then you are gonna stand it up
04:16Yeah, baby, and that is gonna help the olive oil withstand the higher heat
04:23The viscosity of the oil is actually going to turn like a little thicker when that happens lay it on its side
04:28I do like watching Cordell because he looked real like sexy and he's like muscles be popping time to flip-a-roo
04:35Look at that beautiful color. Yes
04:37Get back and like his hands be occupied so I can like smack that ass without him telling me to stop
04:42That's got great color you guys a well done right here. Oh, that's well done. No, no, no
04:54You guys did awesome. Where's Gordon Ramsay, right?
05:01This the one you made
05:03Yeah, let's see we made
05:08I have a secret
05:11What I have a secret you finish like something like you're pregnant
05:22It's not true. I know I do be trying to tell you know
05:26I grew up in your typical southern family. I was raised that nothing should come before the ring
05:33I don't want to have kids till I'm married. I've had an IUD going on seven years. There's no babies that IUD said
05:38Every time a kid comes honey, I don't play
05:43What you gonna be doing while I'm gone in Atlanta crying?
05:47Speaking of Atlanta, when do you leave again?
05:49On 14th is the table read so I'll probably be leaving on the 13th
05:54Cordell's going to Atlanta to work on his first scripted series
05:59Kiki Palmer's southern fried rice
06:01This is the longest we've been without each other since the villa. I believe i'm very sad, but
06:09I'm i'm proud you know, we love a working man
06:12But hopefully we're like busy enough to where we're not like oh my god, but you know
06:16I'll be waking up with like bad anxiety like you've been helping with me waking up with that
06:22So look, I'm about to have to just like raw dog that shit
06:25But the thing is we probably gonna be on face, uh, but it's not gonna hit the same
06:30If it don't just come up come come see me. Don't worry. Come see a dude, man
06:34I've always had pretty bad anxiety and I think the older I get and the more stressors
06:41The worse it gets to the point where I wake up damn near with daily anxiety attacks
06:47But I have an amazing man who is helping me figure that out
06:51Oh my god, hi, baby, i'ma miss you
07:07That's that mac and protein right there mama got the green bean healthy queen that's me
07:13I'm so flipping tired you're flipping tired i'm so flipping tired
07:18Between that dog up at three in the morning for a poop break
07:23We got kiwi our foster dog just last week the best way to maintain a happy relationship whilst fostering a dog would be uh
07:33patience
07:36Communication
07:38Uh-oh someone wants in
07:42You're gonna try and eat your food baby
07:43No, you're not
07:44This one's got a lot of experience and i'm lucky enough to have learned from this one
07:48So I feel like the dog's gonna be happy. I think that's the main thing and yes
07:51I think the dog's gonna be very happy with that
07:53You think you're gonna be okay leaving you not fostering?
07:58I've come to peace with it. I did very much fall for this girl
08:02The whole beauty of fostering is literally like
08:05The nurturing the taking care the building them back up
08:09I do want to say thank you for like being here and just like helping me with everything
08:17I feel like it's been uncertain and strange
08:21But even coming to the radiologist appointment
08:24I really appreciate it because you knew how freaked out i was about all of it
08:28I still am and I know i've been crying like every three seconds i'm literally still waiting on my arm biopsy results
08:35But I had my blood work results come back and
08:40My calcitonin levels were really high
08:43To a point where my doctor was concerned
08:46So I had to go to the radiologist to see if I have any
08:52cancerous lumps in
08:54My thyroid I know it's a scary thing that kind of warning is
09:01A disgusting feeling I can only imagine
09:03I hate seeing leah worry
09:05Especially about something like this all I can do is make sure she's
09:10In as light spirit as I possibly can
09:14Her weight is my weight
09:16And the way you've been going about things if anything I really like respect and commend you because you're so fucking strong
09:24I'm definitely a hypochondriac. I'm not gonna lie. I am someone who checks in on
09:30My health a lot. I'm here for you 100%
09:34You're my other half
09:35Your happiness is my happiness
09:38I am a victim of googling and finding out that I have every disease ever
09:44You know who's not but I think like for sure I do
09:49Worry about health things
09:52I don't know maybe it's because like I studied cancer and cancers in the family and thyroid cancer
09:58It's really fucking scary and it's horrible
10:01Just take it a day at a time
10:02Yeah
10:03And I got your back for it all
10:04I love you baby
10:05I love you mama
10:06You're gonna be fine honestly
10:13Uh mama said i'm a son of a gun a trigger for a funk that rides with the sun
10:18When they tease my shine i move on cause i'm good i just want to have fun
10:22Ready one two go
10:26Oh yeah that's perfect okay
10:29Hi
10:30This is this is i almost knocked her wow this is insane
10:33Air fog
10:35Beautiful
10:38That's a wrap
10:38Wow
10:42Amazing
10:42Oh my gosh
10:46My sister taylor she's two years older and she's lived in la ever since she graduated from usd
10:53She's an artist photographer model she does it all how's life been for you life is good
11:01Saturday i've got another shoot and booked and busy
11:04I'm glad i'm here in la if you ever need more people to be in your shoot
11:07Yeah
11:08Like some like handsome like unique looking
11:11I actually never thought that i'd actually move here like full time like i never thought if i moved back to
11:15California i moved to san diego but what the hell is going on in san diego
11:19I think san diego is where i want to raise a family you know
11:21Yeah and you're not even dating anyone so
11:25I'm thinking long term
11:26So that's why you're here in la
11:28That's why yeah you're right it's funny you say that because i did meet somebody and then i actually took her on a date
11:34Okay cheers
11:35Okay cheers
11:38Oh hi
11:40But i'm already kind of like in my head about
11:43The second date like i just moved here too i want to jump into a relationship right away you know
11:48You're trying to think like 10 steps ahead like you don't need to do that that's true nicole was intently in a relationship
11:54But i feel like that was a relationship yeah but that's just me
11:57I forget that it that it was a real thing for you
12:00Y'all were definitely locked in for what it was
12:03I think if you want to do something you should do it
12:05Until you realize what it really was
12:13Obviously the video is not okay like nobody deserves that that is up
12:18That was like tragic like it didn't even have to be like that
12:22You think you trust somebody and then when you get that
12:25Form of betrayal it just it it's like a digging a knife into you and twisting it
12:30No one who loves you is gonna talk about you like that yeah
12:34So that's why like going into this like with alana i'm just it's i'm i want to like do it right and
12:41Not overthink things my experience with nicole has affected my dating life like before then
12:46i'll kind of jump into a lot of things and now it takes me a while to
12:49Really open up and get back to that vulnerable side of me because
12:53When i last time i did that i got completely blindsided
12:59That's the whole point of getting to know her like are you someone that i can experience conflict with
13:04But also it's like ptsd because like what we grew up with with mom and dad was
13:09Obviously like start off really good and then it ended up so shitty yeah
13:13The dream is just like love yeah however that looks but i'm not worried about you
13:18Rushing into something because you just don't do that yeah
13:22Now when it comes to dating being a child of divorce automatically puts doubts in your mind because you come from a home where
13:30That trust between your parents was shattered
13:32I think that it feels like a lot because you don't do it it feels like oh am i moving too fast
13:37And it's like you don't move at all so just
13:40So like keep moving i guess
13:42That's so true
14:00Yo bro what's up dude i'm car having a wig
14:03Nice i'm shopping right now you like these are these sick
14:11Sweatpants shirts jeans
14:15Hey here dude i don't do skinny jeans anymore wait when are you flying back
14:22All right cool you've got no one to chill right now i had planned to go shopping with live today and i texted this morning and she's like
14:28Like i'm not like feeling super well
14:32No she's i think she has like food poisoning i don't know not good i know
14:38But i feel bad
14:40Lives ill
14:41Kayla's in the hospital
14:43Yeah my kidney acted up this morning i get
14:47Huge kidney stones that i can't pass on my own to get surgery
14:51Did you hear from her because
14:53No she hasn't she hasn't reached out to me
14:55I don't know if i should or shouldn't have but i just impulsively just like tried to facetime her
14:59And she didn't answer i don't know whether or not that's because she was in surgery or what
15:03But i just messaged her i was like oh i hope you're good mate um
15:07And then i hope like your family's next to you
15:11I think me and kayla's conversation on the rooftop was the first time that we've probably been able to like open up to each other
15:16I almost feel like we've we've just set all of our differences aside and
15:20I was just able to give her a hug and i think she felt better after it
15:24It's just kind of what i wanted for her
15:26How was liv's party
15:27Yeah the party was all right we knew kayla talked for quite a while as well
15:31What'd you guys talk about
15:33Just like the past and stuff
15:36You know she's not happy like i think she's a cool person and like i never i never stopped wanting her to
15:42To like be happy but even more so when i don't see her thriving like she was
15:47I want kayla to be happy because then i means i don't have to worry about her
15:51Well i'm glad you're back home with the fam helping your mom out
15:55Yeah have you ever seen like star wars with the little wookies
15:58Yeah a ewok dude that is so cute
16:01I'm glad we got this opportunity i was like this is what we need jumpstart us kendra i am so excited
16:31Marky is like apparently the best of the best since being out here i haven't really known what kind of avenue
16:37I want to do you know because like i was so new to all of this but i was like i love talking
16:43We are big yappers i do love the idea of like interviewing at people at like red carpets or events
16:49i love to talk i love to learn something new about everyone so i am looking forward to seeing if that's
16:54something for me i will wait and see hi hello hi how are you i'm marky costello i live this is kendall
17:03i'm so happy you reached out kendall marky costello pleasure to meet you
17:07so excited let's work on that handshake as a woman no no weak handshake i'm marky costello
17:11there we go yeah give a nice one gotta get the firm handshake in there kendall's got a good one
17:16marky is a renowned presenter who specializes in like red carpets and talking on camera okay obviously
17:23you were on love island usa it was a huge hit everybody and their mother watched it you have
17:28this huge platform you went from maybe a couple thousand followers half a million to a million
17:33followers what's the game plan for you two since being off the show i like was very grateful i got
17:39to do a lot of brand trips and brand deals and stuff but i haven't focused on like what avenue
17:44i want to go down do i want to do like posting do i want to do fashion so i'm trying to get into
17:52all the fields and like target mainly the ones i think i would like right for me like to diversify
17:57my content is one of my goals for this year and i did do a little like just randomly on my own not
18:03this wasn't even with a brand you did a little man on the street man on the street yeah and so that
18:08was my passion like growing up i went to school i got a degree in broadcasting so i want to host my
18:13own tv show when i host red carpets i got big ambitions that you need to have those goals or else
18:18you're never gonna hit them so being a great on-camera host or personality it's really the great
18:24balancing act it's being able to balance your personality with that audience and then the
18:28creative so on that note let's see where we are starting with you kendall single shot live get up
18:35there you can follow with the proctor three two one yo what's up lovers of love welcome to vibe check
18:43my peeps 2025 but here we don't want to waste time our queen beyonce dropped that country album
18:50and remind i can't remember my hand and reminded us all who runs the world behind kendall let's get
18:56into it okay you do a very common thing when people aren't sure of themselves they start to
19:01trail their voice lower and lower maybe i'll just whisper it and no one will hear me
19:07lift put your hand down too i know you want to have something physical everybody has the adhd put it
19:13down so like go straight like no don't go straight down first of all i don't want it coming from
19:18your physicality i want it coming from your personality three two one yo what's up lovers of
19:25love i'm kendall and welcome to vibe check where the drip is tight the connections are real and the
19:32chemistry well that's up to you guys lovers of love i think kendall's actually pretty good at this
19:38maybe it was need a little bit of improvement don't tell him that god his head looks like improvement
19:44three two one my peeps it's heavy and it's real 2025 hasn't been easy the world keeps spinning
19:54and so do we might as well count the ride i'm your host liv walker and this is the highs and lows
20:02love you guys that i actually like this read the best from you because i felt like towards the end like
20:07i really saw you and that's all an audience wants to do is go they want to connect that's what a great
20:14host us i got that fire with me burn it hot like 100 degrees hey look we're ready we're ready
20:28yeah where's the pop look at what stuff we brought just in case i can't wait to meet my niece or nephew
20:35i think it's a boy what's going on it's a boy his name's juan hi hi we're excited we're so excited
20:45do you know the name juan juan juan juan juan i wonder if juan gets along with other dogs i know
20:52i don't know anything like what if he's like antisocial what if he has anxiety what if he gets
20:55nervous my dog's on prozac jesus like mother like daughter
21:00a squirrel operation adopt two animals today i'm just coming with food oh my gosh you just yeeted
21:12you have to piece it they're gonna choke a whole dog biscuit to a squirrel squirrel
21:21what's better than a dog nothing but maybe a squirrel i have more food have you ever seen
21:29someone walking around with like a squirrel on a leash no but i will be the first to do it watch
21:35oh my god she's coming i can definitely see myself adopting a squirrel he's eating it you guys he's
21:41eating it he's eating it right now on the top of my list though is like a turkey
21:48do you want to adopt a turkey really badly they're the cutest things in the world and they purr when you
21:54pet them and they like to get cuddled i see him i see him i see juan i see him no way
22:02am i blind look he's right there he's right there he's right there oh my gosh you guys it's one
22:08what you know i give up my eyes aren't working look at this guy what that's our kid baby it's our kid
22:16they're good he's so small so small oh my god how are you thank you so much for coming he's really
22:24cute who wants to hold him for my baby oh he's a little puggle oh my god you're so big how you
22:32doing nice to meet you nice to meet you he's so huge you ready he's never had a dog before really
22:38and we're fostering together oh my gosh okay you want to hold him yeah you you can hold him for now
22:43i don't think we're i'm there yet what do you mean kenny do you see what i mean i think kenny's
22:49one of those people you got to push him a little bit when it comes to doing new things like yeah
22:53you're scared of holding the dog now but you're not gonna kill the little homie because if you can
22:57hold a dog then i can hold a baby and four of them weird we'll cuddle in bed later okay i'll hold him
23:05for now this is my first dog i don't really encounter dogs frequently maybe he does bite he has an
23:11underbite he looks kind of evil to me is this a lot of change for kenny or juan a lot of change
23:17for juan i'm approaching him with caution one step at a time maybe tomorrow should we go make sure he
23:23has his shots and everything they come fully vaccinated he's already neutered when they're
23:27at the shelter they make sure okay he's very calm he's like me very calm and the underbite too
23:34i don't have an underbite
23:42i am throwing a party to send my man off i rented out the rink to celebrate with him
23:59all righty yeah this isn't gonna be great and i only wanted ppg and ppg in there cordill does
24:08not like drama at all and i feel like when you get everyone together something's bound to like happen
24:15i'm a size 12 she's a size six thank you
24:20i have to put these on right now i i don't even remember the last time i went roller skating
24:27i'm basically waiting to fall well change your mindset and you won't i've never been roller
24:32skating before i've been ice skating how do you moonwalk yeah so i'm a millennial this is like
24:38not really my type of vibe okay you got a little threatened oh oh oh oh oh but i'm about to teach
24:46them a few tricks i might fall on top of you okay wait how do you stop baby
25:03oh my god do not take me down with you i need to get off of here yeah serena the
25:10obviously should own a roller skating ring oh you're zooming yeah
25:23look at the foot worker ah ah ah skating's more about elegance it's about finesse than about speed
25:30yeah yeah it's too damn big to be moving that bad okay do not hurt yourself well i'm thinking about
25:45not getting up we did good there he is what's up dog what's up brother how are you living good
26:03busy all over the place right now it looks tough thank you i might have beat you for once for once
26:09oh i just got back from pilates you're busy what you've been doing cheers there we go
26:16um it's been interesting having everybody back here too yeah yeah yeah it's just like the energies
26:23have been kind of weird lately really like in what way i don't know i just feel like everyone's kind
26:27of like tense everything feels a little like sectioned off and like yeah it feels like there's
26:34times when we should probably all be like getting together yeah before we are and it just and then
26:38sometimes just feels like this it's like a split yeah we all came out here to la all of us people get
26:44closer with other people and they certainly like have different i don't want to say clicks but i feel
26:50like everything is just a little bit different us and bbg yeah it's i'm just gonna hit up cordell
26:56and beck yo we'll have to see you before because we're talking about that that lives and house yeah
27:00when's he leave like really like i think it's either like thursday yeah he's gonna be gone for
27:05a couple weeks i think if i was really close with somebody and they had a going away party and they
27:10were leaving town and i didn't get invited i would be a little hurt by that for sure kendall's always
27:16got a smile on his face but i think there's a small part of him that's a little bit you know stung by
27:22not being able to go to that party i'm not gonna cry myself to sleep that i'm not invited to what
27:28they're doing yeah that's it you know thing like they would have been a cool thing to go to you
27:32know yeah yeah yeah yeah i know like jenna didn't want to come to live's party if i was going to
27:38come there yeah and like that you know i probably definitely could have done a few things a little
27:45differently and said some things differently for sure but you know like like what'd you do i'm gonna
27:51apologize right now yeah for sure would you actually for sure like i didn't want her i think i was like
27:56ducking her okay i wanted to at the reunion yeah that just didn't happen that conversation will
28:01happen i'm gonna throw something probably next maybe next week i don't think about saddle ranch
28:06oh it's a mechanical bull dude yeah what if we all went there that's a good spot like i feel like i
28:12never host anything i'm the always the one who wants to just make sure to keep the peace so i feel
28:18like if i host this party it could be a good thing to get everybody back together again and like just five
28:26have a good time ride the bull drink and just lay it off okay people can invite whoever the
28:30they want to invite yeah everybody come come one dude and the whole farm nice dude farm puns
28:37saddle ranch invite the whole farm this is cool
28:44i heard you got a puppy man how's one oh yeah yeah that's fine you're twin man he's great man that's
28:52so same bro the first few days were rough do y'all have any adoption inquiries one person reach out
28:58to show interest we can just get them to see an application only one i just really want to get
29:03him adopted so we can do the next one and then the next one jenna jumped the gun when she said that
29:10no i'm i'm pretty i'm far removed from adopting more animals i'm struggling with the one i have right now
29:17no guys i was rubbing on milo last night i fed him like four trees wow give it up
29:27do i hear marriage material she's been doing real good yeah he's not gonna leave me
29:34now that cordell is gonna be gone it's important to be close with milo me and milo man oh my god
29:41he's looking at me wait i don't think i can do this look say what's up man we we're coming it's a
29:51a building relationship we're building it you know we're gonna see
29:55wait who's taking care of milo while you're gone oh my my god sister i was thinking about taking
29:59him to atlanta for a little bit with me too though are you excited to be going to atlanta yeah man i'm
30:05so ready for it to start this is so exciting i know who knows when he's coming back he keeps getting
30:09more they keep extending it yes another one right after after we i might not even be able to celebrate
30:14my birthday i know oh congrats that's you my hand is cheesy we'll facetime you on your birthday i'm
30:20happy to support serena whatever she wants to do i'm down i'm here to distract her while cordell is
30:26gone and i think i'm a good replacement surprise here's the cake for my babies going away
30:41so proud of you thank you for booking your first role and many more to come
30:56i'm learning how to deal with juan he does seem a little bit uncertain about his surroundings
31:25this is your bed good coffee good boy we're warming up to each other yeah he wags his tail when he
31:35sees me now and brings me his toys he likes to bite my shoes and bring it to his bed
31:41and you know you ultimately you know fall in love with him yes yes walk and park let's go once you
31:51let's go
31:59coming hi you look so cute thank you thank you for having me these are for you
32:05pretty coffee i know but i didn't want to come with you hanging how are you and i bought some cookies
32:10thank you that's so the place is so clean how are you feeling feeling fine i just had a killer uti
32:17are you on meds for it yeah i'm on like five different medications yeah my kidney acted up this
32:23morning i go home for my best friend's bridal shower wake up the morning of and i'm in the worst pain ever
32:30i had a kidney infection i was on the verge of sepsis so i stayed there for four nights i'm so glad
32:37that i was in pa with my family so yeah kidney stones i have a stent in my kidney so it's like a
32:45tube basically that's like allow like helping me like pee wait what you pee through a pole
32:53i pee through a tube can you see it no oh no you can't it doesn't like just hang out
33:00no but i've had one of those two before i am a little bit like lost for words and i feel like
33:05i have a lot of words but it sounds very serious especially in your young years but no matter what
33:11we're going through i'm here for her this is what i need to catch you up on so tauren the guy that
33:17i'm talking to i was at stagecoach with kaylee kendall everyone that's where i met this kid
33:25so who was he friends with he's friends with louie
33:28caleb that's where it's messy but i promise you it's not as bad as it sounds
33:39did i hear that right he didn't know caleb and i's like history and i didn't know that he was
33:46friends with caleb okay run that shit back what were you saying so how do they know the boy well he
33:51works for their agency oh then caleb found out caleb was like what the and like freaked out what the
33:59is what's going through my brain hey don't hate the play i hate the game i didn't do it out of like
34:08maliciousness i didn't know you would have done one of these better friends yeah
34:12rule number one to be a boss ass okay what's the new guy think of it he feels like the biggest
34:21piece of in the world has he spoken to caleb yeah and they're cool yeah or if he's cool with him he
34:29has to be cool with you no what did he want you to do call him and give him a heads up hey mate about
34:37to just your friend and get my back blown hope you're good good night this is so messy so is
34:43touring going to come on thursday like have you invited him to set around yeah i think i should
34:48invite him aaron's gonna be there too that's gonna be so weird it's only as weird as you make it like
34:54bringing a guy around aaron may feel weird i don't know but why do i even care it was nice to talk to
35:00aaron at love's party i think we had a good conversation but that door was closed last summer
35:06we're both over it done we'll move on
35:20hi pretty girl hey pookie but we come bringing gifts
35:27hey hey i brought some goodies that looks so good it's low roasting right now so when it's closed it's
35:35like soaking up the heat you want me to buy one and make sure like it's doing good no i don't think
35:41you should okay did you make her vegan dogs yeah they're on the maybe we should start eating vegan
35:46dogs they're honestly pretty good i'm gonna start tomorrow though here you go wow all righty bottoms up
35:56cheers cheers to getting the gang back together you know we just saw each other no they cannot be
36:04what the hell are we cheersing to can we cheers to juan
36:12no okay i'm sorry sorry no man canary good i like to see how he takes care of juan
36:20how do you how is it he's obsessed with juan really he's like you know what this is what i signed up for
36:25i'm gonna do it and like his whole mentality everything changed i just told him like hey
36:29since he's staying at your place so you can see what it feels like to have 24 7 a dog near you
36:32i will come every morning why did y'all decide to like live next door instead of like giving like
36:36yeah oh my gosh no um good question i ask myself that every day and at first we were gonna live
36:42together and like last minute he's just like is it okay if we live separate and i was just like
36:46that's weird i think he just asked me if we want to live separate like did i hear what i thought
36:50out of here and he was like yeah like i don't know i'm crying in a grocery store so i don't
36:54even get to hear oh i remember this i called leah like i'm like i'm tripping like yes i found out
37:00that kenny would rather live separate rather than together for the summer when i was grocery shopping
37:07i was so confused and like maybe like humiliated and embarrassed i dreams of what the summer would be
37:14of us living together everything but without the ring silly me and then like i don't know it's
37:21definitely just like my ego for sure because it's not your ego though janae well his reasoning was like
37:28valid enough for me to humble myself it was like we're doing i know no i'm trying i felt so
37:35sad for janae because janae is like the most loving and giving person and i know janae would be there
37:43like taking proper care of him and so it's like you're missing out is he gonna renew another lease
37:51in dallas like are you gonna keep i don't know that's the thing he has a one bedroom in dallas
37:56and a one bedroom in new york and he's been going back and forth kenny having an apartment not only in
38:02dallas but also in new york makes it very interesting of how our future is going to play out
38:11i live in vegas and long distance relationships should be illegal i don't understand how people
38:16do it not for me his lease ends at our one year mark so it's like would you move in with someone
38:23after dating them for one year yeah if that's what you want to do and you're talking to someone who is
38:28like fully against living with someone else i'm like right now while i'm not engaged or married let me
38:35get my motherfucking alone time because forever forever yeah that's beautiful to me i am the only
38:45one out of ppg right now who wouldn't want to live with a partner until we're married but if i told a
38:53man i want to move in with you for two months and he told me no it would hurt my feelings too
38:59i don't think i could marry someone that i didn't live with what about house hunting how's that
39:05going oh yeah how's that house hunting dude there was this house that i love love but we didn't get
39:12it that's the only house i've liked and now i'm like i hate every house i've ever seen since so for
39:17right now i feel like that's on pause unfortunately sadly like my brain has been so preoccupied preoccupied
39:25i've literally been having to go to doctor's appointments like every day this past week
39:31that's crazy last week was the craziest day of my life yeah it was crazy like i was at the skin doctor
39:39like and they and they cut off a piece of my skin to do biops before to see what that was
39:44and i was really worried about that and then i had to go to my other doctor this is a separate
39:49doctor from the skin one um and he's like yeah like something's going on with your calcitonin levels
39:55and he said we need to send you to a radiologist to check for like your thyroid to see if anything's
40:01going on with it and like i'm thinking obviously like radiologists like that's people that like
40:07you know the c word and then i go in the office it's like all old people i really freak myself out
40:15very easily over any health problems so to hear like the c word i was like oh my god my mind is filled
40:23with a lot of what ifs and i feel like what ifs are just the worst like you're just thinking of like
40:28all the what ifs don't you dare drop a tear you're okay girl we're gonna be here to support you at all
40:34times it just like stresses me out because like because you're human and that's a scary thing at the
40:39fucking radiology office yesterday just like i can't believe like this is even a thing right now
40:45just like stresses me out because like because you're human and that's a scary thing at the
40:56fucking radiology office yesterday just like i can't believe like this is even a thing right now
41:04you're okay don't you cry because i didn't put setting spray on like i can't i think everything
41:11that's been going on with my health it does get you thinking and when i start thinking about it too
41:17much i feel like i go down a really nasty rabbit hole it's like scary for the thyroid pictures that
41:23they took with the ultrasound um i have to wait 14 days like imagine someone tells you something's
41:30really wrong with you and they're like but you have to wait i also just have been like so unenjoyable
41:35to be around because of all like the doctor shit i feel like with how stressed and like anxious
41:40you've been about it you have not been showing it you're fine i promise you're going to be okay
41:45they're gonna your doctors seem like they're on it it's gonna be fine and it's gonna be nothing but
41:50i'm like what if it's not though don't think like that worst case scenario if it's not you have a
41:55fucking village behind you a village it doesn't cancer doesn't care about a village okay well guess guess
42:01who guess who yeah guess who it should worry about i'd be scared of her too no come on you're gonna be
42:08fine i'm petrified for leah that should never ever be in anyone's cards cancer is an evil evil thing
42:16i literally can't process what she just told me it's crazy i always feel bad like saying how i feel to
42:24like the people that i'm really close to because i'm like i don't want to like burden them with my problems
42:28but and that's the thing it's crazy because i love when my friends do it to me but i don't want to
42:33like feel like someone's like issue but i will say i've been feeling so bad lately why because i've
42:42been having like an anxiety attack every morning why like it's becoming like a routine it's to the
42:49point where cordell will wake up before me to anticipate the anxiety attack and then like he'll be
42:55then he'll come and he just won't go to sleep i would have never known i've always struggled with
42:59anxiety though my anxiety it was always like little things that will like trigger but it would never
43:05be bad now it's just like it's a lot different because you have i mean now millions of eyes on you
43:10granted i am an extrovert i love talking to people i love meeting new people so it's conflicting because
43:17the things that may trigger is also the things that i love i have to like cut my phone off or i'm like
43:23anxious about it i'm like oh my god like what if they hate me like anxiety would never something
43:28that i have never experienced in my life people like tear me apart and i was never insecure of how
43:34i looked ever people have made fun of my me myself my dog they've basically insulted any and everything
43:42in my life i never thought i was like ugly or anything but i'm also like if you are making fun of
43:49somebody's appearance you need to shut the fuck up they were like oh my god bitch you need this this and
43:58that you need a nose job you need this you need that don't worry even if you have one you still get
44:03made fun of and that's the thing it's a lose fucking lose i struggle with finding help in the people that i
44:13love but i will say i kind of i feel not like depend on cordella but but he like understands it
44:23he gets it and like he knows how to like get me out of it and he's very patient yeah he's so patient
44:29and so sweet and i love that so i'm like when he's in atlanta y'all we gotta go all out i need y'all
44:37we will not let you down well you know we're right here baby mama like like i'm going straight
44:42to party city and getting a katrillion balloons what that's not what we're going for i'm sorry
44:49like decorate his home we're getting all the balloons and you're like no
44:55bitch i need to get in front of me jack sparrow
44:57one thing that is so funny they can never read the rules
45:15i'm dead next time on love island beyond the villa wow it's really crying i need to know
45:25oh are you going on thursday what is it like kendall's birthday are you going y'all know i'm not
45:32going i was worried about you last week yeah you're the first person that texted me i honestly i'm
45:36happy for you i'm really glad that you've met like someone new i don't think she wants me to be fine
45:40with it but i'm fine with it he kind of looks like you're road tauren looks just like an american
45:47version of aaron you artificially like brought him over to piss me off it's not like we were
45:52fucking making out before i left if you're gonna fucking try it i hope you didn't tell miguel that
45:57we both wanted space because that's not the case i wanted separation from you
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