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00:00Previously on Love Island Beyond the Villa, you were saying that I was afraid I fucking love you
00:14Do you miss Kayla? Yes, Kayla, you do miss her. Yeah, I do
00:20We dead the issue but that hurt still remains you do this every time to go out why aren't Kenny and I living together?
00:30It's important for me to just have my space
00:33Cordell's cat is coming to live with him in LA. I am like deathly afraid of cats always have been
00:42Oh my god, I do have an appointment today to do a biopsy. I'm in sheer panic
00:48The more you like your thoughts to let's dive into the negative of it the worse you're gonna feel
00:53I'm going home this weekend. Are you saying really? Yeah
00:57I'm very grateful don't get me wrong, but I was happier with my little wife
01:02Then this life. Yeah, I think Kayla likes the idea of this big like city life
01:07But I think she's much more of a small-town country girl. I'm okay. Sure
01:13No, I'm not really okay at all
01:15I feel like you need a hug
01:18Thanks
01:20Oh
01:39Are you excited?
01:40I'm a little nervous. That's okay. I remember in third grade my first Jackie. I was nervous. What if I forget to feed it?
01:48What? No, that's what the dog bowls for
01:53What if I forget to put the food out like I'm rushing in the morning? Thank god, I'm right next door
01:58Kenny has never had a dog before he's never had an animal growing up
02:02So Kenny thought maybe reaching out to leah and asking how the whole fostering works would be a good idea
02:10So on you literally on the list of things that she wanted to do in la
02:15Fostering a dog taking care of an animal was on that list because you
02:19Voiced it. I did not have a list the foster place is gonna set up a meeting this week
02:24Okay, and that's we're gonna meet the dog in person at a park
02:27Then I said yeah, I'll add it to the list
02:30Okay, and that's how it went I was thinking of inviting leah and miguel since they this is what they do
02:37Oh, yeah, do you confirm that should we ask them? Yeah, I think they could give us like tips. We should check on them
02:45Hi beautiful people
02:49So excited i'm so excited to be a dad
02:52Like you got the patience the calm
02:58Miguel's a pro well you guys should come with us if you would like to meet yes them up
03:09All three of you shook hands i did not
03:11All right, you guys there are your aprons you can go ahead and put them on and then we'll get class started
03:24Oh, you know what let's switch the aprons. I just realized
03:27Wait, that one apron is like already said for someone like a little more petite. Oh
03:44Let's get started we are gonna be making a ribeye steak with bourbon mushroom cream sauce
03:50Me and cordell we love being with each other. It's a lot of play play a lot of fun
03:54We're going to salt at a girl. You're not scared. Damn. All right. All right. I'm like wiping it off
04:02He told me he was moving here right after the show. I was just so excited
04:06I was so happy like I have my person in LA with me. I couldn't imagine like not being with him
04:12I'm getting a little heat on my stove here, and then you are gonna stand it up
04:17Yeah, baby, and that is gonna help the olive oil withstand the higher heat
04:23The viscosity of the oil is actually gonna turn like a little bigger when that happens lay it on its side
04:28I do like watching cordell cuz he look real like sexy and he's like muscles be popping time to flip a roo
04:35Look at that beautiful color. Yes
04:37Get back and like his hands be occupied so I can like smack that ass without him telling me to stop
04:45That's got great color you guys a well done
04:47Right here. Oh, that's well done. No, no, no. I should say well done when we're talking today
04:54You guys did awesome. Where's Gordon Ramsay, right?
05:01This the one you made
05:03Yeah, let's see we made
05:08I have a secret
05:11What I have a secret
05:13You finna say something like you're pregnant
05:22It's not true. I know I do be trying to chill you know I was just gonna say that
05:26I grew up in your typical southern family
05:30I was raised that nothing should come before the ring
05:33I don't want to have kids till I'm married. I've had an IUD going on seven years. There's no babies that IUD said
05:38Every time a kid comes honey, I don't play
05:43What you gonna be doing while I'm gone in Atlanta crying?
05:47Speaking of Atlanta when do you leave again?
05:49On 14th is the table read so I'll probably be leaving on the 13th
05:54Cordell's going to Atlanta to work on his first scripted
05:58series Kiki Palmer's southern fried rice
06:01This is the longest we've been without each other since the villa I believe
06:06I'm very sad but
06:09I'm I'm proud you know, we love a working man
06:12But hopefully we're like busy enough to where we're not like oh my god, but you know
06:16I'll be waking up with like bad anxiety like you've been helping with me waking up with that
06:22So look, I'm about to have to just like raw dog that shit
06:25But the thing is we probably gonna be on face but it's not gonna hit the same if it don't just come up
06:31Come come see me don't worry. Come see a dude, man
06:34I've always had pretty bad anxiety and I think the older I get and the more stressors
06:41The worse it gets to the point where I wake up damn near with daily anxiety attacks
06:47But I have an amazing man who is helping me figure that out
06:51Oh my god
06:55Baby I'll miss you
07:07That's that mac and protein right there mama got the green bean healthy queen
07:13I'm so flippin tired you're flipping tired. I'm so flippin tired
07:18Between that dog up at three in the morning for a poop break
07:23We got kiwi our foster dog just last week the best way to maintain a happy relationship whilst fostering a dog would be
07:33patience
07:37Communication
07:39Oh someone wants in
07:42You're gonna try and eat your food baby
07:43No you're not
07:44I'm a pro
07:45This one's got a lot of experience and I'm lucky enough to have learned from this one so
07:49I feel like the dog's gonna be happy I think that's the main thing and yes
07:51I think the dog's gonna be very happy with that
07:53You think you're gonna be okay leaving you not fostering?
07:58I've come to peace with it
08:00I did very much fall for this girl
08:02The whole beauty of fostering is literally like the nurturing the taking care the building then back up
08:09I do want to say thank you for like being here and just like helping me with everything
08:17I feel like it's been uncertain and strange but even coming to the radiologist appointment
08:24I really appreciate it because you knew how freaked out I was about all of it
08:28I still am and I know I've been crying like every three seconds
08:32I'm literally still waiting on my arm biopsy results but I had my blood work results come back and
08:40my calcitonin levels were really high to a point where my doctor was concerned so I had to go to
08:48the radiologist to see if I have any cancerous lumps in my thyroid
08:56I know it's a scary thing that kind of warning is a disgusting feeling I can only imagine
09:03I hate seeing Leah worry especially about something like this all I can do is make sure she's
09:10in as light spirit as I possibly can her weight is my weight
09:16and the way you've been going about things if anything I really like respect and commend you
09:22because you're so fucking strong I'm definitely a hypochondriac I'm not gonna lie I am someone who
09:29checks in on my health a lot I'm here for you 100 you're my other half your happiness is my happiness
09:38I am a victim of googling and finding out that I have every disease ever you know who's not but I think
09:47like for sure I do worry about health things I don't know maybe it's because like I studied
09:55cancer and cancers in the family and thyroid cancer it's really scary and it's horrible
10:01just take it a day at a time yeah and I'll go your back for it all I love you baby I love you
10:06my mama you're gonna be fine honestly
10:22ready one two go oh yeah that's perfect okay hi this is this is i was not sure wow
10:32this is insane air fog beautiful that's a wrap wow amazing this is insane oh my gosh my sister
10:48Taylor she's two years older and she's lived in LA ever since she graduated from USD she's an artist
10:54photographer model she does it all how's life been for you life is good
11:01saturday i've got another shoot and booked and busy yeah i'm glad i'm here in LA if he ever needs
11:06more people to be in your shoot yeah like some like handsome like unique looking right right right
11:11i actually never thought that i'd actually move here like full time like i never thought if i moved
11:15back to california i moved to san diego but what the hell is going on in san diego i think san diego's
11:20where i want to raise a family you know yeah and you're not even dating anyone so
11:24i'm thinking long term that's why you're here in LA that's why yeah it's funny you say that
11:31because i did meet somebody and then i actually took her on a date okay cheers okay cheers
11:38oh hi but i'm already kind of like in my head about the second date like i just moved here too i want to
11:46jump into a relationship right away you know you're trying to think like 10 steps ahead like i know you
11:51don't need to do that that's true nicole was intently a relationship but i feel like that
11:55was a relationship yeah but that's just me i forget that it that it was a real thing for you
12:00y'all were definitely locked in for what it was i think if you want to do something you should do it
12:05until you realize what it really was obviously the video is not okay like nobody deserves that
12:16that is up that was like tragic like it didn't even have to be like that you think you trust somebody
12:24and then when you get that form of betrayal it just it it's like a digging a knife into you and twisting
12:29it no one who loves you is gonna talk about you like that yeah so that's why i like going into
12:36this like with alana i'm just it's i'm i want to like do it right and right not overthink things
12:42my experience with nicole has affected my dating life like before then i'll kind of jump into a lot
12:47of things and now it takes me a while to really open up and get back to that vulnerable side of me
12:53because when i last time i did that i got completely blindsided that's the whole point
13:00of getting to know her like are you someone that i can experience conflict with but also it's like
13:05ptsd because like what we grew up with with mom and dad was obviously like started off really good
13:10and then it ended up so shitty yeah the dream is just like love yeah however that looks but i'm not
13:16worried about you rushing into something because you just don't do that yeah now when it comes to
13:23dating being a child of divorce automatically puts doubts in your mind because you come from a home
13:29where that trust between your parents was shattered i think that it feels like a lot because you don't
13:35do it it feels like oh am i moving too fast and it's like you don't move at all so just so like keep
13:41moving i guess that's so true exactly
14:00yo bro what's up dude i'm car having a wig nice i'm shopping right now you like these are these sick
14:09what are you shopping for sweatpants shirts jeans
14:15hey here dude i don't do skinny jeans anymore wait when are you flying back
14:22all right cool you've got no one to chill right now i had planned to go shopping with liv today
14:27and i texted this morning and she's like i'm not like feeling super well
14:30well because she's hungover or just like sickness no she's i think she has like food poisoning
14:34i don't know not good i know but i feel bad lives ill lives ill taylor's in the hospital
14:43yeah my kidney acted up this morning i get huge kidney stones that i can't pass on my own
14:50to get surgery did you hear from her because no she hasn't she hasn't reached out to me i don't
14:55know if i should or shouldn't have but i just impulsively just like tried to facetime her
14:59and she didn't answer i don't know whether or not because she was in surgery or what but i just
15:03messaged her i was like oh i hope you're good mate um and then i hope like your family's next to you
15:10i think me and kayla's conversation on the rooftop was the first time that we've probably been able to like
15:15open up to each other i almost feel like we've we've just set all of our differences aside and i
15:21was just able to give her a hug and i think she felt better after it it's just kind of what i wanted
15:25for her how was liv's party yeah the party was all right me and kayla talked for quite a while as well
15:31what'd you guys talk about just like the past and stuff you know she's not happy like i think she's
15:38a cool person and like i never i never stopped wanting her to like be happy but even more so when i
15:44don't see her thriving like she was i want kayla to be happy because then it means i don't have to
15:50worry about her well i'm glad you're back home with the fam helping your mom out yeah like star wars
15:57with the little wookies yeah a ewok dude that is so cute
16:14i just want to play it and i'll get more can i get your ride hop on in darling thanks
16:22well thanks for driving of course taking me out i'm glad we got this opportunity i was like this
16:27is what we need jumpstart us kendra i am so excited marky is like apparently the best of the best since
16:34being out here i haven't really known what kind of avenue i want to do you know because like i was so
16:39new to all of this but i was like i love talking we are big yappers i do love the idea of like
16:46interviewing at people at like red carpets or events i love to talk i love to learn something new about
16:51everyone so i am looking forward to seeing if that's something for me i will wait and see hi hello
16:58hi how are you i'm marky costello this is kendall i'm so happy you reached out kendall marky costello
17:06pleasure to meet you so excited let's work on that handshake as a woman no no weak handshake i'm marky
17:11costello there we go yeah give a nice one gotta get the firm handshake in there kendall's got a good one
17:16maki is a renowned presenter who specializes in like red carpets and talking on camera okay obviously you
17:24were on love island usa it was a huge hit everybody and their mother watched it you have this huge
17:28platform you went from maybe a couple thousand followers half a million to a million followers
17:34what's the game plan for you two since being off the show i like was very grateful i got to do a lot
17:40of brand trips and brand deals and stuff but i haven't focused on like what avenue i want to go down
17:45do i want to do like posting do i want to do fashion so i'm trying to get into all the fields and
17:53like target mainly the ones i think i would like right for me like to diversify my content is one
17:58of my goals for this year and i did do a little like just randomly on my own not this wasn't even
18:04with a brand you did a little man on the street man on the street thing yeah and so that was my
18:08passion like growing up i went to school i got a degree in broadcasting so i want to host my own tv
18:14show when i host red carpets i got big ambitions that you need to have those goals or else you're never
18:19gonna hit them so being a great on-camera host or personality it's really the great balancing act
18:24it's being able to balance your personality with that audience and then the creative so on that note
18:31let's see where we are starting with you kendall single shot live get up there you can follow with
18:36the proctor three two one yo what's up lovers of love welcome to vibe check my peeps 2025 but here
18:45we don't want to waste time our queen beyonce dropped that country album and remind i can't
18:51remember my hand and reminded us all who runs the world behind kendall let's get into it okay you do
18:58a very common thing when people aren't sure of themselves they start to trail their voice lower and
19:03lower maybe i'll just whisper it and no one will hear me all right lift put your hand down too i know
19:09you want to have something physical everybody has the adhd put it down so like go straight like no
19:15don't go straight down first of all i don't want it coming from your physicality i want it coming from
19:20your personality three two one yo what's up lovers of love i'm kendall and welcome to vibe check where
19:28the drip is tight the connections are real and the chemistry well that's up to you guys lovers of love
19:34so much better i think kendall's actually pretty good at this maybe it was need a little bit of
19:40improvement don't tell him that god his head looks like improvement three two one my peeps it's heavy
19:50and it's real 2025 hasn't been easy the world keeps spinning and so do we might as well count the ride
19:58i'm your host liv walker and this is the highs and lows love you guys that i actually like this read
20:04the best from you because i felt like towards the end like i really saw you and that's all an audience
20:11wants to do is go they want to connect that's what a great host does
20:15i got that fire with me burn it hot like a hundred degrees
20:23hey look we're ready we're ready yeah where's the pop look at what stuff we brought just in case
20:33i can't wait to meet my niece or nephew do you know the name juan juan juan i wonder if juan gets
20:50along with other dogs i know i don't know anything like what if he's like antisocial what if he has
20:54anxiety what if he gets nervous my dog's on prozac jesus like mother like daughter
21:03a squirrel operation adopts two animals today i'm just coming with food oh my gosh you just yeeted
21:12janine you have to piece it they're gonna choke a whole dog biscuit to a squirrel squirrel
21:21what's better than a dog nothing but maybe a squirrel i have more food have you ever seen
21:29someone walking around with like a squirrel on a leash no but i will be the first to do it watch
21:35oh my god she's coming i can definitely see myself adopting a squirrel he's eating it you guys he's
21:41eating it he's eating it right now on the top of my list though is like a turkey
21:48you want to adopt a turkey really badly they're the cutest things in the world and they purr when
21:54you pet them and they like to get cuddled i see him i see him i see juan i see him no way
22:02am i blind look he's right there he's right there he's right there oh my gosh you guys it's one
22:08what you know i give up my eyes aren't working look at this guy what that's our kid baby it's our kid
22:16they're good he's so small so small oh my god how are you thank you so much for coming he's really
22:25cute he wants to hold my baby oh he's a little puggle oh my god how you doing nice to meet you
22:36you ready he's never had a dog before really and we're fostering together oh my gosh yeah you
22:41want to hold him yeah you you can hold him for now i don't think we're i'm there yet what do you
22:45mean kenny do you see what i mean i think kenny is one of those people you got to push him a little
22:50bit when it comes to doing new things like yeah you're scared of holding the dog now but you're not
22:55gonna kill the little homie because if you can't hold a dog then how you can hold a baby and four of them
23:01weird we'll cuddle in bed later okay i'll hold him for now this is my first dog i don't really
23:08encounter dogs frequently maybe he does bite he has an underbite he looks kind of evil to me is this
23:14a lot of change for kenny or juan a lot of change for juan i'm approaching him with caution one step
23:21at a time maybe tomorrow should we go make sure he has his shots and everything they come fully
23:25vaccinated he's already neutered when they're at the shelter they make okay he's very calm he's like me
23:32very calm and the underbite too i don't have an underbite
23:54i am throwing a party to send my man off i rented out the rink to celebrate with him
24:00all righty yeah this isn't gonna be great and i only wanted ppg and ppg in there cordell does
24:08not like drama at all and i feel like when you get everyone together something's bound to like happen
24:15i'm a size 12 she's a size six thank you
24:20i have to put these on right now i i don't even remember the last time i went roller skating i'm
24:27basically waiting to fall well change your mindset and you won't i've never been roller skating before
24:34i've been ice skating how do you moonwalk yeah so i'm a millennial this is like not really my type of
24:39vibe okay sorry you gotta move right here oh oh oh oh but i'm about to teach them a few tricks
24:48you guys ready
24:57i might fall on top of you okay
24:59okay wait how do you stop baby
25:04do not take me down with you i need to get off
25:08yeah serena the obviously should own a roller skating ring
25:13look at the foot worker ah ah ah skating's more about elegance it's about finesse
25:29than about speed yeah
25:33kitty is too damn big to be moving that bad
25:36ken ken kenny
25:42do not hurt yourself i'm thinking about not getting up
25:47we did good
25:48there he is what's up dog what's up brother how you living
26:02good busy all over the place right now it looks tough thank you i might have beat you for once for
26:08once oh i just got back from pilates man you're busy what you've been doing cheers there we go
26:15um it's been interesting having everybody back here too yeah yeah yeah it's just like the energies
26:23have been kind of weird lately really like in what way i don't know i just feel like everyone's kind
26:27of like tense everything feels a little like sectioned off and like yeah it feels like there's
26:34times when we should probably all be like getting together yeah but we are and it just and then sometimes
26:39just feels like there's just like a split yeah we all came out here to la all of us people get
26:44closer with other people and they certainly like have different i don't want to say clicks but
26:50i feel like everything is just a little bit different us and bbg
26:55yeah it's i'm just gonna hit up cordell and duck yo we'll have to see you before
26:58because we're talking about that that lives in house yeah when's he leave like really like i think
27:02it's either like thursday yeah he's gonna be gone for a couple weeks i think if i was really close
27:07with somebody and they had a going away party and they were leaving town and i didn't get invited
27:12i would be a little hurt by that for sure kendall's always got a smile on his face but i think
27:18there's a small part of him that's a little bit you know stung by not being able to go to that party
27:24i'm not gonna cry myself to sleep that i'm not invited to what they're doing yeah that's
27:29it's a thing like that would have been a cool thing to go to you know yeah yeah yeah i know
27:36like janae didn't want to come to live's party if i was going to come there yeah and like that
27:41you know i probably definitely could have done a few things a little differently and said some
27:46things differently for sure but you know like like what'd you do i'm gonna ball you right now
27:52yeah for sure would you actually for sure like i didn't want her i think i was like ducking her
27:57okay i wanted to at the reunion yeah that just didn't happen that conversation will happen i'm
28:02going to throw something probably next maybe next week i don't think about saddle ranch oh some
28:07mechanical bull dude yeah and what if we all went there that's a good spot like i feel like i never
28:12host anything i'm the always the one who wants to just make sure to keep the peace so i feel like if i
28:19host this party it could be a good thing to get everybody back together again and like just five
28:26have a good time ride the bull drink and just lay it off people can invite whoever the fuck they want
28:31to invite yeah everybody come come one and the whole fucking farm nice dude farm puns saddle ranch invite
28:38the whole farm yeah this is cool i heard you got a puppy man how's one oh yeah yeah that's fine
28:48you're a twin man he's great man that's your son bro the first few days were rough do y'all have any
28:55adoption inquiries one person reached out to show interest we can just get them to see an application
29:01only one i just really want to get him adopted so we can do the next one and then the next one
29:07jenna jumped the gun when she said that no i'm i'm pretty i'm far removed from adopting more animals
29:15i'm struggling with the one i have right now guys i was rubbing on milo last night i fed him like
29:22four trees wow give it up you got a cat love i did do i hear marriage material she's been doing real good
29:31yeah yeah he's not gonna leave me now that cordell is gonna be gone it's important to be close with
29:38milo me and milo man oh my god he's looking at me wait i don't think i can do this look say
29:45what's up man we we're coming it's a a building relationship we're building it you know
29:54we're gonna see who's taking care of milo while you're gone oh my my god sister i was thinking about
29:59taking him to atlanta for a little bit with me too though are you excited to be going to atlanta yeah
30:04man i'm so ready for it to start this is so exciting i know who knows when he's coming back
30:08he keeps getting more they keep extending it yes another one right after after we after i might not
30:13even be able to celebrate my birthday i know oh congrats that's you my hand is cheesy we'll facetime
30:19you on your birthday i'm happy to support serena whatever she wants to do i'm down i'm here to
30:24distract her while cordell is gone i think i'm a good replacement surprise
30:34here's the cake for my baby's going away so proud of you thank you for booking your first role
30:44and many more to come
30:53i think we're perfect
31:05juan juan i'm learning how to deal with juan he does seem a little bit uncertain about his
31:24surroundings this is your bed good coffee good boy we're warming up to each other yeah he wags his
31:35tail when he sees me now and brings me his toys he likes to bite my shoes and bring it to his bed
31:41and you know you ultimately you know fall in love with him yes yes walk and park let's go once you close it to me
31:51i'm coming hi you look so cute thank you thank you for having me these are for you
32:05i know but i didn't want to come with you how are you and i bought some cookies thank you the place is
32:12so clean how are you feeling feeling fine i just had a killer uti are you on meds for it yeah i'm on
32:19like five different medications yeah my kidney acted up this morning i go home from my best friend's
32:26bridal shower wake up the morning of and i'm in the worst pain ever i had a kidney infection i was on the
32:32verge of sepsis so i stayed there for four nights i'm so glad that i was in pa with my family so yeah
32:40fuck kidney stones i have a stent in my kidney so it's like a tube basically that's like allow
32:47like helping me like pee wait what you pee through a pole i pee through a tube can you see it no oh
32:57no you can't it doesn't like just hang out no but i've had one of those two before i am a little
33:04bit like lost for words and i feel like i have a lot of words but it sounds very serious especially in
33:09your young years but no matter what we're going through i'm here for her this is what i need to
33:14catch you up on so tauren the guy that i'm talking to i was at stagecoach with kaylee kendall everyone
33:23that's where i met this kid so who was he friends with he's friends with louie
33:30caleb that's where it's messy but i promise you it's not as bad as it sounds
33:39did i hear that right he didn't know caleb and i's like history
33:44and i didn't know that he was friends with caleb okay run that shit back what were you saying
33:49so how do they know the boy well he works for their agency oh then caleb found out
33:56caleb was like what the and like freaked out what the is what's going through my brain
34:03hey don't hate the player hate the game i didn't do it out of like maliciousness i didn't know you would
34:10have gone one of his better friends yeah rule number one to be a boss ass okay what's the new
34:18guy think of it he feels like the biggest piece of in the world has he spoken to caleb yeah and they're
34:27cool yeah or if he's cool with him he has to be cool with you no what did he want you to do call him
34:34and give me my heads up hey mate about to just your friend and get my back blown hope you're good
34:40good night this is so messy so is touring gonna come on thursday like have you invited him to set
34:46around yeah i think i should invite him aaron's gonna be there too that's gonna be so weird
34:52it's only as weird as you make it like bringing a guy around aaron may feel weird i don't know but why
34:58do i even care it was nice to talk to aaron at love's party i think we had a good conversation
35:04but that door was closed last summer we're both over it done we'll move on
35:12hey how i feel i know for me it's real hi pretty girl hey pookie bud we come bringing gifts
35:27hey hey i brought some goodies that looks so good it's slow roasting right now so when it's closed it's
35:35like soaking up the heat you want me to bite one and make sure like it's doing good no i don't think
35:41you should okay did you make her vegan dogs yeah they're on the maybe we should start eating
35:46vegan dogs they're honestly pretty good i'm gonna start tomorrow though here you go wow
35:54all righty bottoms up cheers to getting the gang back together
36:01even though we just saw each other no they cannot be what the hell are we cheersing to can we cheers to
36:11you know okay i'm sorry sorry no man canary good i like to see how he takes care of juan
36:20how do you how is it he's obsessed with juan really he's like you know what this is what i
36:25signed up for i'm gonna do it and like his whole mentality everything changed i just told him like
36:29hey since he's staying at your place so you can see what it feels like to have 24 7 a dog near you
36:32i will come every morning why did y'all decide to like live next door instead of like getting like
36:36together yeah oh my gosh no um good question i ask myself that every day and at first we were
36:42gonna live together and like last minute he's just like is it okay if you live separate and i was just
36:46like that's weird i think he just asked me if we want to live separate like did i hear what i thought
36:50i heard and he was like yeah like i don't know i'm crying in a grocery store so i don't even get to
36:54hear oh i remember this i called leah like i'm like i'm tripping like yes i found out that kenny would
37:01rather live separate rather than together for the summer when i was grocery shopping i was so
37:08confused and like maybe like humiliated and embarrassed i dreams of what the summer would
37:13be of us living together everything but without the ring silly me and then like i don't know it's
37:21definitely just like my ego for sure because it's not your ego though janae well his reasoning was like
37:26like valid enough for me to humble myself it was like we're doing i know no i'm trying i felt so
37:35sad for janae because janae is like the most loving and giving person and i know janae would be there
37:43like taking proper care of him and so it's like you're missing out is he's gonna renew another lease
37:51in dallas like are y'all gonna keep i don't know because that's the thing he has a one bedroom in
37:55dallas in a one bedroom in new york and he's been going back and forth kenny having an apartment not
38:02only in dallas but also in new york makes it very interesting of how our future is going to play out
38:12i live in vegas and long distance relationships should be illegal i don't understand how people do
38:17it not for me his lease ends at our one year mark so it's like would you move in with someone after
38:23dating them for one year yeah if that's what you want to do and you're talking to someone who is
38:28like fully against living with someone else i'm like right now while i'm not engaged or married let
38:35me get my motherfucking alone time because forever forever yeah that's so beautiful to me i am the only
38:45one out of ppg right now who wouldn't want to live with a partner until we're married but if i told a
38:53man i want to move in with you for two months and he told me no it would hurt my feelings too i don't
39:01think i could marry someone that i didn't live with what about house hunting how's that going oh yeah how's
39:06that house hunting dude there was this house that i love love but we didn't get it that's the only
39:13house i've liked and now i'm like i hate every house i've ever seen since so for right now i feel
39:18like that's on pause unfortunately sadly like my brain has been so preoccupied yeah preoccupied i've
39:25literally been having to go to doctor's appointments like every day this past week that's crazy janae last
39:33week was the craziest day of my life yeah it was crazy like i was at the skin doctor like and they
39:40and they cut off a piece of my skin to do biops before to see what that was and i was really worried
39:45about that and then i had to go to my other doctor this is a separate doctor from the skin one um and
39:52he's like yeah like something's going on with your calcitonin levels and he said we need to send you to
39:57a radiologist to check for like your thyroid to see if anything's going on with it and like i'm thinking
40:02obviously like radiologists like that's people that like you know the c word and then i go in the
40:10fucking office it's like all old people i really freak myself out very easily over any health problems
40:17so to hear like the c word i was like oh my god my mind is filled with a lot of what ifs
40:25and i feel like what ifs are just the worst like you're just thinking of like all the what ifs
40:30don't you dare drop a tear you're okay girl we're gonna be here to support you at all times it
40:35just like stresses me out because like because you're human and that's a scary thing at the
40:39fucking radiology office yesterday just like i can't believe like this is even a thing right now
40:52just like stresses me out because like because you're human and that's a scary thing at the
40:56fucking radiology office yesterday just like i can't believe like this is even a thing right now
41:04you're okay don't you cry because i didn't put setting spray on like i can't i think everything
41:11that's been going on with my health it does get you thinking and when i start thinking about it too much
41:17i feel like i go down a really nasty rabbit hole it's like scary for the thyroid pictures that they took
41:24with the ultrasound um i have to wait 14 days like imagine someone tells you something's really wrong
41:30with you and they're like but you have to wait i also just have been like so unenjoyable to be
41:35around because of all like the doctor i feel like with how stressed and like anxious you've been about
41:41it you have not been showing it you're fine i promise you're going to be okay they're gonna your
41:46doctors seem like they're on it it's gonna be fine and it's gonna be nothing but i'm like what if it's
41:51not though don't think like that worst case scenario if it's not you have a fucking village behind you
41:57village doesn't cancer doesn't care about a village okay well guess guess guess who guess who yeah
42:02guess who it should worry about the ivy's get over too no come on you're gonna be fine i'm petrified for
42:10leah that should never ever be in anyone's cards cancer is a evil evil thing i literally can't process what
42:18she just told me it's crazy i always feel bad like saying how i feel to like the people that i'm
42:25really close to because i'm like i don't want to like burden them with my problems but and that's
42:28the thing it's crazy because i love when my friends do it to me but i don't want to like feel like
42:34someone's like issue but i will say i've been feeling so bad lately why because i've been having
42:43like an anxiety attack every morning why like it's becoming like a routine it's to the point
42:49where cordell will wake up before me to anticipate the anxiety attack and then like he'll be there
42:55he'll come and he just won't go to sleep i would have never known i've always struggled with anxiety
43:00though my anxiety it was always like little things that would like trigger but it would never be bad
43:05now it's just like it's a lot different because you have i mean now millions of eyes on you
43:10granted i am an extrovert i love talking to people i love meeting new people so it's conflicting
43:17because the things that may trigger is also the things that i love i have to like cut my phone off
43:22or i'm like anxious about it i'm like oh my god like what if they hate me like anxiety to have never
43:28something that i have never experienced in my life people like tear me apart and i was never insecure
43:34of how i looked ever people have made fun of my me myself my dog they've basically insulted any and
43:41everything in my life i never thought i was like ugly or anything but i'm also like if you are making
43:49fun of somebody's appearance you need to shut the up they were like oh my god
43:55bitch you need this this this and that you need a nose job you need this you need that don't worry
44:01even if you have one you still get made fun of and that's the thing it's a lose fucking lose i struggle
44:09with finding help in the people that i love oh but i will say i kind of i feel not like depend on
44:21court a little bit but but he like understands it he gets it and like he knows how to like get me out
44:27of it and he's very patient yeah he's so patient and so sweet and i love that so i'm like when he's
44:33in atlanta y'all we gotta go all out i need y'all we will not let you down well you know we're right
44:39here baby mama like like i'm going straight to party city and getting a katrillion balloons what that's
44:46not what we're going for i'm sorry like decorate his home we're getting all the balloons and you're
44:54like no bitch i need to get in front of me jack sparrow one thing that is so funny is you they can
45:02never read the rules no i can never and i have no idea what's going on half the time
45:15i'm dead next time on love island beyond the villa wow it's really crying it needs milk
45:26are you going on thursday what is it like kendall's birthday are you going y'all know i'm not going
45:32i was worried about you last week yeah you're the first person that texted me i honestly i'm happy
45:36for you i'm really glad that you've met like something new i don't think she wants me to be
45:40fine with it but i'm fine with it he kind of looks like you oh road tauren looks just like an american
45:47version of aaron you artificially like brought him over to piss me off it's not like we were
45:52fucking making out before i left yeah we were fucking trying i hope you didn't tell miguel that
45:57we both wanted space because that's not the case i wanted separation from you
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