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#eastenders

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Music
00:26Cat, boys, daddy's home. I'm hit.
00:30Music
00:35Hey!
00:36What the hell are you doing?
00:40What are you doing?
00:42No, hold on a second.
00:43Sneaking up on a half-naked lady doesn't aim for people like you.
00:46Just stop, stop. Where's Cat?
00:48Well, she ain't here, is she?
00:50So take your rose and your donkey and vamoose.
00:54No, Eli...
00:55I've got to...
01:00Right, right.
01:01One...
01:02One...
01:03Two...
01:04Two...
01:05Four...
01:06Three...
01:07For God's sake, you two, pack it in!
01:08Watch someone's eye out.
01:09I've forgotten what a barrel of laughs that dreaming was.
01:12Anyone seen my phone?
01:13No.
01:14Anything from Mo?
01:15I won't keep her locked up for all I care.
01:16Alright, you two, that's my phone, give it here.
01:18I could swing for her, lumbering me with all of this.
01:22Right, come on!
01:24You have one message.
01:26Yeah, it's me, I just want to say that I'm...
01:29I'm really sorry.
01:31You know, I'm...
01:33I've not been...
01:34Three...
01:35Two...
01:36One...
01:37No!
01:38Jane?
01:39Jane, you alright?
01:41Do I look alright?
01:43What's happened?
01:44It was him.
01:45It was him.
01:46Right, you two, put them down and get upstairs now.
01:48Look on the barrier.
01:49I can't look.
01:50Is it bad?
01:51Well, it ain't good, Jane.
01:52You've got a dart sticking out your arm.
01:54I think I feel a bit faint.
01:56No!
01:57Only needs a plaster on it.
02:00I need to go to A&E.
02:01Bit dramatic, innit?
02:02Well, a tetanus at least.
02:05Oh, I'll sort it out myself!
02:09Any chance of a coffee?
02:11Nan, you got nicked for shaking your lettuce in the middle of the square on our opening night.
02:15You can go swivel.
02:17Jane?
02:18Charming.
02:30Louie, if you want to go tonight, you've got to be ready in five minutes.
02:45Why aren't you on the stall?
02:48Late shift.
02:49Since when does Peter do shifts?
02:52You better not be messing him about, Oscar.
02:54Mm-hmm.
02:55You all right, mate?
02:57Ready to bust some more moves?
02:59We do choice of one.
03:01You, my friend, have got some taste.
03:05You two really did have some fun last night, eh?
03:08Is Mike coming round again tonight?
03:10Mike?
03:11Oscar's friend.
03:12Tell you what, why don't we go to the caf?
03:17Treat ourselves.
03:18Go on, go get your shoes on.
03:19Yes.
03:25Why was that psycho in my house?
03:27It's not as bad as it sounds, really.
03:30No, but it is bad, Oscar.
03:32He was here with Jimmy and Louie.
03:35And I thought I was the trauma queen.
03:37Don't go giving it the biggun to me, Oscar.
03:40Is that why you're not on the stall?
03:42Because you're scared to leave the house?
03:44Right, that's it.
03:45I'm calling Uncle Jack.
03:47Are you joking?
03:48We...
03:49I'm trying to sort this mess out for you.
03:51OK, let me speak to Jack, yeah?
03:53This is my mess.
03:54I'll deal with it.
03:55Well, make sure you do.
03:57And quickly.
03:59It's not Peter you're going to have to worry about.
04:01I'll kick you out myself.
04:10Avani!
04:11Hey!
04:12Why are you not answering my calls?
04:13I don't know.
04:14OK, well, have you thought any more about my proposal?
04:15You're making it sound like it's a business deal.
04:16OK.
04:17Sorry, poor choice of words.
04:18Erm, I'm serious though, Avani.
04:19I will look after this baby.
04:20Listen, if you end this pregnancy...
04:21There is no going back, do you understand?
04:22So please, just...
04:23Just...
04:24Don't make any rash decisions.
04:25There you go.
04:26Oh, thank you.
04:27All right, kid?
04:28Yeah, I'm meeting Barney.
04:29Nice talk to you too.
04:30Is she OK?
04:31Of course not, she's a teenager.
04:32Figures.
04:33I'll get back to you.
04:34OK.
04:35I'll get back to you.
04:36OK.
04:37OK.
04:38I'll get back to you.
04:39OK.
04:40I'll get back to you.
04:41OK.
04:42I'll get back to you.
04:43OK.
04:44I'll get back to you.
04:45OK.
04:46I'll get back to you.
04:47OK.
04:48I'll get back to you.
04:49OK.
04:50I'll get back to you.
04:51OK.
04:58Stace, it's Alfie.
04:59Listen, what the hell is going on?
05:00OK.
05:01I've got Elaine in my flat.
05:02Cat's gone AWOL.
05:03I don't know where the keats are.
05:04And I'm going off my nuts.
05:05So can you call me back ASAP?
05:08You ain't seen Cat at all, have you?
05:10No.
05:11OK.
05:12I'll tell you what, then.
05:13I'll have a coffee.
05:14Actually, I'll have a gallon.
05:16They run out of straw kangaroos.
05:18Ha!
05:19Very good, Nicola.
05:20Stop over in Spain, that's all.
05:22Oh, jet lag's a killer, ain't it?
05:23Cheap Spanish beer's even worse.
05:25I remember the first one.
05:26And after that...
05:27Ow!
05:28Gone.
05:29Drinking to forget.
05:30I'm struggling to remember.
05:31Listen, you haven't seen Cat anywhere, have you?
05:33Harry!
05:34Let me get you something, babe.
05:36No, thanks.
05:37I feel sick all of a sudden.
05:39Hello, Nicola?
05:40Cat?
05:41I'm not the all-seeing eye, Alfie.
05:42OK.
05:43I'll just go.
05:45Stace!
05:46Say, darling, where are ya?
05:48Come on.
05:51Oi!
05:52The fridge was empty after you left this morning.
05:54Now, if you're going to live with us, you've got to contribute, mate.
05:57Aye, aye, Captain.
05:58The perils of shared accommodation, aye?
06:00There you go.
06:01When the money comes in from the pub, we'll be fine.
06:04Oh.
06:05Handsome, minted and single.
06:07You want to be careful.
06:08Women will be queuing up for you.
06:10Some of them might want to take advantage.
06:12I think that's what he's looking for.
06:15I'm going back to work now.
06:17Yeah.
06:22What are you saying?
06:23It's all done.
06:24How much longer is this going to be for?
06:25I told you.
06:26Just a few more days.
06:28Got to keep your stache safe.
06:29Can't keep it at a flat.
06:30It's too risky.
06:31You sit on a sprint while you weren't there when you got nipped.
06:33You can't just try on your next job.
06:35Yeah, man.
06:36I'm on it.
06:37Got something lined up later for today.
06:38Good.
06:42I'll be in touch.
06:55I'll be in touch.
06:56Hey.
06:57Hey, what?
06:58Get your head out of the clouds and do some work.
07:00I've had enough to set this place up for my own.
07:02Yeah, er...
07:03Let me make up to you, yeah?
07:05Um...
07:06Coffee on me?
07:07Yeah.
07:08Yeah, go on then.
07:09Yeah, go on then.
07:20This is getting embarrassing now.
07:22Accept it, guys.
07:23I'm just not going to enter you.
07:24Alright?
07:25Oh, we was just waiting for little Louie and Jim.
07:27Come home, won't we, Harrison?
07:28We'll take them to the pub.
07:30Got some ice cubes.
07:31Don't.
07:32Don't even say their names.
07:33Look, it's me you want, alright?
07:35So, let's just get this over with.
07:44Excuse me.
07:45Sorry.
07:46Sorry.
07:47Sorry.
07:48Sorry.
07:49Ah!
07:50I can't get through.
07:51Let me go.
07:53Stokes.
07:54Where are our cat and the boys?
07:55What happened in Spain?
07:56What do you mean?
07:57What happened in Spain?
07:58Mate, keep me around the donkey.
07:59Listen, when you bailed out on the money, Wyatt,
08:00she was off.
08:01So, she...
08:02She's still missing.
08:04Stace, what happened, darling?
08:07I mean, how did Cat take it?
08:10Take what?
08:11Well, you said she knows!
08:15Hey!
08:16I've been looking everywhere for you.
08:18What are you doing back there?
08:19Alfies, for me, they're beautiful.
08:21Huh?
08:22Here, Trace, get the bubbles.
08:24We've got some celebrating to do.
08:25Have we?
08:26Yeah.
08:27Because while you was off on your jollies, me and Stace, we bought the Vic.
08:32What?
08:33Yeah.
08:34We put all our money together, didn't we, Stace?
08:35Welcome to your new home.
08:37No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:39No.
08:40No, I don't...
08:41I don't believe it.
08:42Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please?
08:45I'd like to propose a toast to Alfie Moon.
08:48Yay!
08:49Yay!
08:50Yay!
08:51The new landlord of the making!
08:55The biggest liar in world, Ben!
08:57Stop!
08:58Stop!
08:59Why'd you keep it from me, eh?
09:01Sinner.
09:02I'm sorry, Ron.
09:03I thought I was doing the right thing.
09:04The right thing lying about a cancer scare and then chasing after Hayley?
09:07What?
09:08I had to tell her, um, about Hayley and Cherry.
09:13Yeah, go see, about that.
09:15Save it, Alfie.
09:16Right.
09:17And you can shove that donkey where the sun don't shine.
09:19I've got a pub to run.
09:22Oh!
09:24Oh!
09:31Threatening little babies.
09:32That's low.
09:33You know what's lower?
09:34The gross.
09:35You want revenge?
09:36I get it.
09:37And yeah, I deserve it, but this is it, Mike.
09:40You do this, you leave my family alone.
09:42Deal.
09:44One rule.
09:46Don't touch the face.
09:47Okay.
09:50My granddad was a boxer.
09:52Must run, the family.
09:53Oh, yeah?
09:55Oh!
09:57What?
10:01Did you really think I got kicking was all it was going to take?
10:03Oh, I made sure you never opened your mouth again, mate!
10:05Oi!
10:06Go back inside.
10:07There's nothing to see you, granddad.
10:08Amy!
10:09I've got...
10:10Looks like ABH to me.
10:11I've got this, Jack.
10:12Michael Smith, right?
10:13I've seen your file.
10:16It's your sugar daddy, Oscar.
10:17I'm afraid.
10:19You threaten any of my family again?
10:21I will not turn you up a chink, do you understand, mate?
10:23Now disappear!
10:27So the squeed has got a pig in the family, eh?
10:30It all makes sense now.
10:39Well done.
10:40You just made it worse.
10:42Oh, you're welcome.
10:53Hey, Nana.
11:03Can you believe it, eh, darling?
11:05The cat's only gone and bought us the pub back again.
11:09But you always said it was me and cat, didn't you?
11:13You always said it was written in the stars,
11:15but, you know, typical me,
11:17I've gone and blown it again like I always do.
11:20You can say that again.
11:23I am so sorry, cat.
11:27Why do I fall for it every time?
11:30You said you were scared because your cancer was back.
11:33Who does that?
11:34I know. I know, and that was wrong of me.
11:36Oh, do you think?
11:37I should have known you were lying because your lips were moving.
11:40I know.
11:41I know.
11:43And I hate myself for it, all right?
11:47All that lying behind your back and sneaking around,
11:49but I just thought if you actually knew what I was doing,
11:53then you'd be hurt by it.
11:55And I was panicking because...
11:57Well, the lies, they start snowballing, don't they?
12:01And they probably set me right if the cancer came back.
12:05Cherry's your daughter, all right?
12:09And if it was my Zoe in trouble, I'd be on the first plane.
12:12I can't be mad at you for that.
12:14It was Nana's dying wish
12:20that we are both happy.
12:24Yeah?
12:25And if finding Cherry makes you happy,
12:28from now on, we tell each other everything, yeah?
12:33Promise me.
12:34Because if you lie to me again,
12:36you're going to wish you were dead.
12:39I promise.
12:40And to my face.
12:42No more leaving drunken voicemails.
12:46What voicemail?
12:47The one you left last night.
12:51Did you listen to it?
12:53I started to.
12:55Until the twins started using Gina's target practice.
12:59Right, I'd better get downstairs,
13:01have a shower, because you stink.
13:05Oh, look.
13:06Here's your partner in crime.
13:10What have you done?
13:23So, hang on.
13:24Your Nan wants to bring up your bathing.
13:27It's crazy, right?
13:28What's your mum going to say?
13:31Oh, God.
13:32What's your dad going to say?
13:33I mean, she reckons that she can, like,
13:35smooth it over with her.
13:37No, that is a hideous plan.
13:39You're all right, Bonnie, chill out.
13:41Sorry.
13:42Bonnie?
13:44Oh, sorry.
13:46Sorry, I've...
13:47I've just remembered I've got to go and have a baby.
13:49Oh, a bath.
13:50Bath, I said bath.
13:52A nice hot bath.
13:58You told him, then.
14:00How did you find me?
14:01This place is the hub of teenage angst.
14:05Listen, I just want to talk to you.
14:08Okay, but why do you even want to do this?
14:11Because this baby is a part of our family.
14:14Our family?
14:15Yep.
14:16Our house literally got raided last week.
14:19Is that the type of thing you want to be bringing a baby up around?
14:22Well, no, it's not ideal.
14:23I just know that when Ashnit had her termination, it drove a wedge between us.
14:28We never healed, Avani.
14:31And I don't want the same happening to you and your mum.
14:34She won't look at you in the same way ever again.
14:36Sorry, are you trying to guilt-trip me?
14:40It's not like that.
14:41Have you even asked Eve?
14:43Well, she'll understand.
14:44Oh, really?
14:45Yeah, great.
14:46Let's go tell Eve the happy news, then, shall we?
14:49Avani!
14:50Avani, wait!
14:52Avani, stop!
14:54Avani, wait!
14:55Why?
14:56Eve will be buzzing.
14:57Avani, just let me speak to her first, please!
15:00No.
15:00Avani, can you stop?
15:03Avani, you're making a fool of us.
15:05Can you...
15:05Oh, there she is!
15:07Hi, guys!
15:08Hello, here you are.
15:11Oh, look, it's a big thing.
15:13It's so cute.
15:15Yeah, really cute.
15:16Not so cute at one in the morning.
15:18Four in the morning.
15:20I bet.
15:21Eve, you ever thought about kids?
15:24Are you joking?
15:25I can't even get myself dressed in the morning.
15:27Oh, come on.
15:29I would love a little auntie or uncle.
15:31Yeah, I hate to break it to you, kid,
15:33but that ship has well and truly sailed.
15:35Yeah, no, I'm happy with our blended family.
15:38Oh, wow.
15:39Yeah.
15:40Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
15:41See ya.
15:42It's weird.
15:43It's you for real.
15:44I know.
15:44You should have come to me.
15:54I was sorting it.
15:55Oh, it looks like it.
15:56I should have arrested them,
15:58but how do you think that's going to look for social?
16:00Do you want Jimmy taking any care?
16:02It won't come to that.
16:03The social's already up in its visits
16:05because of the fight you had with Ian last week.
16:07Look, now he knows the police are only next door,
16:08he'll back off, all right?
16:10Mike won't last in sight.
16:11He knows it.
16:12Oscar!
16:13There you are.
16:13I can't even trust you to get me a cup of coffee, can I?
16:16Stall, now!
16:17I've only just got my family back on the jab.
16:22Just tell Lauren it's over.
16:25Please.
16:32I can't believe you got so out of it
16:34you don't even remember leaving a voicemail.
16:36I'm sorry, what was that Mother Teresa?
16:38Listen, I don't know.
16:39We'll just let her hear her and put it out there.
16:41Are you insane?
16:42If Kat finds out we've lost Zoe, she'll kill us.
16:45Okay, no, I get it, but I'll take it.
16:46Yeah, you find the phone.
16:47Delete the voicemail before it's too late.
16:50There you go, darling.
16:52Here.
16:52Yeah.
16:54Jean, it's my good name.
17:00What can I get you?
17:01A gin and tonic and vodka and tonic, please.
17:05What are you feeling now, Jean?
17:06Oh, I was a bit sore, actually.
17:09I'm fine.
17:10I mean, it was an accident,
17:12just the boys being overexcited.
17:13She should know better.
17:17Never turn your back on those twins.
17:19I'll be right, dear.
17:20It was an accident, huh?
17:22An accident?
17:24Have you never seen The Shining?
17:26A beautiful wife to be.
17:31You lost on the horses, didn't you?
17:33You think I'm going to marry a man I don't know inside out?
17:38Yeah, man, but when I win, I win big.
17:41And, baby, you're going to have the best wedding this side of Trinidad, I promise.
17:49It's open.
17:50Here, cat.
17:53Come here a minute.
17:55Here, what do you reckon?
17:56Why don't we have the donkey as the pub mascot?
17:58Yeah.
17:59Good day, Alfie.
18:00Yeah, congrats on getting this place out.
18:02Oh, thanks, Denise.
18:03You must be delighted, Alfie.
18:04Over the moon?
18:05Yeah, go on.
18:05What do you do?
18:06Oh, I just...
18:08What do you think of my voicemail?
18:09I left a silly, junken message last night.
18:12I was going to delete it, that's all.
18:13Oh, I'll do it.
18:14I was going to get some empties.
18:16Oh, Alfie, come on, Paddy.
18:18Paddy, usual, and one for yourself.
18:19Oh, thank you.
18:20Stace.
18:22Stace.
18:25Cat.
18:26What now?
18:27Mum looks a bit faint.
18:29I think you'd better come in.
18:30Oh, she's milking it, Stace.
18:31It was just a little prick.
18:32I'll be in in a minute.
18:35Oh, you scrote!
18:39I don't believe this.
18:44Disappointed.
18:46Has he told you everything?
18:48Look, we put a call out on Mike.
18:52I'm going to keep a close eye.
18:53Well, it don't mean he won't come back.
18:56Look, he's out on bail.
18:58I have one more thing and he's in trouble.
18:59He goes inside, so he's had a warning.
19:04Everything okay?
19:07You know, you should count yourself lucky that Peter doesn't know.
19:11He doesn't need an excuse to kick you out.
19:13This is your last chance, Oscar.
19:16Thank you, Uncle Jack.
19:22You came through for me.
19:24Cheers.
19:25Don't make me regret it.
19:36I don't know why, but I just have this irrational fear of your family.
19:52Well, I think it probably comes from being dangled off a bridge by your dad.
19:56Yeah, probably.
19:58Avani!
19:59And that's my cue.
20:00Good luck.
20:01Thanks.
20:01I've been calling you.
20:04And I've been ignoring you.
20:06This is ridiculous, Avani.
20:07Just talk to me.
20:08There's nothing to talk about.
20:08Right, listen, listen.
20:10I know it's not going to be easy, all right?
20:13But if it means this baby has a chance, well, it's worth it, isn't it?
20:16Yeah, you're right.
20:17It is worth it.
20:18But you only want this baby to make up for losing all your own children.
20:23That's not true.
20:24It is.
20:25You're not thinking about what's best for me.
20:27You're only thinking about yourself.
20:29And you're not used to hearing no for an answer.
20:32Avani, it's...
20:33But it is a no, okay?
20:34I'm not doing it.
20:35I can't.
20:37I've made an appointment for the clinic tomorrow.
20:40I'm going to have an abortion.
20:41I can't believe how close it is.
20:50Don't be bad.
20:51It's got years on me.
20:54Right, that's the phone cancelled.
20:56Wish I'd got my hands on him.
20:57Hey, don't worry about it.
20:59I'm going to buy you a new one tomorrow, okay?
21:00All bells and whistles, all right?
21:03You're looking better, Jane.
21:05I'm fine.
21:06I don't know why everyone's making such a song and dance about it.
21:08You were lucky.
21:09I had one in my Ares once.
21:11Mind you.
21:12You're healed quick enough.
21:13That's Andy.
21:13Seeing as you do most of your talking out of it.
21:17Right, ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please?
21:20What are you doing?
21:21Don't you worry about a thing, darling.
21:22Now, I know I've been described as the biggest donut on the planet by my lovely wife.
21:29Actually, a lot worse over the years.
21:30But, you know, after everything that I've thrown her,
21:35I can't believe I've come home to find that she has bought me a boozer.
21:40All right.
21:40Yeah.
21:41All right.
21:42That's a lot of thanks to Stacey and, of course, to Martin, yeah?
21:48To Martin.
21:48To Martin.
21:49All right.
21:50Cheers, Martin.
21:51Now, a lot of you, you knew my Nana Moon, yeah?
21:54Yeah, yeah.
21:55Well, before she departed, she always says,
21:58you make sure you keep that Kathleen by your side
22:01because she will make you the happiest and luckiest man on this planet.
22:08You know what?
22:10You, the boys, and the Vic, she was right.
22:15You have made me the happiest and luckiest man in the world
22:20because of you, Kat, because of you, okay?
22:25So everybody who wants to raise your glasses and make some noise
22:29to the next chapter of the Queen Vic!
22:36He's right about one thing.
22:37What's that?
22:38You are a donut.
22:39Okay, okay, who's the first starter?
22:41A fresh starter.
22:42All right.
22:43What's that?
22:43Oh, really?
22:44Oh.
22:44My contribution.
22:53Can't have you going hungry, can't we?
22:57Are you okay?
22:58Why wouldn't I be?
23:00Ravi.
23:02I can handle it, man.
23:09Take it, these belong to you, right?
23:11Why do you think that's okay, eh?
23:15Dump your junk in every available space?
23:18You're not fine with you being here, but you've just got to be more considerate.
23:21Yeah, no, of course.
23:22Sorry.
23:23Harry brought food.
23:25Good for him.
23:27Thanks.
23:34Don't worry.
23:34I'll put it in my bedroom.
23:35No, no, no, no, no.
23:35It's fine.
23:36I'll sort it, coach.
23:37Cheers.
23:39I'll come with you, by the way.
23:39Okay.
23:40What the hell are you doing?
24:04You obviously leave the stuff here.
24:07Now we're keeping the boss happy.
24:08No, why do you feel nuts?
24:13I'll just let him know you said no, then.
24:14I can't wait.
24:20Yeah?
24:23Good man.
24:25Good man.
24:28Make sure you don't lose it this time, you know?
24:29No.
24:29No.
24:29No.
24:29No.
24:29No.
24:30No.
24:30No.
24:31No.
24:31No.
24:32No.
24:33No.
24:34No.
24:35No.
24:36No.
24:37No.
24:38No.
24:39No.
24:40No.
24:41You know what I'm thinking?
24:42Right, mate.
24:42We should have a regular sing-along night in here.
24:45Oh.
24:45You can do your Harry Belafonte, eh?
24:47No.
24:48No.
24:49No.
24:50No.
24:51No.
24:52No.
24:53No.
24:54No.
24:55No.
24:56No.
24:57No.
24:58No.
24:59No.
25:00No.
25:01No.
25:02No.
25:03No.
25:04No.
25:05No.
25:06No.
25:07No.
25:08No.
25:09No.
25:10No.
25:11No.
25:12No.
25:13No.
25:14No.
25:15No.
25:16No.
25:17No.
25:18No.
25:19No.
25:20No.
25:21No.
25:22No.
25:23No.
25:24No.
25:25No.
25:26No.
25:27No.
25:28No.
25:29No.
25:30No.
25:31No.
25:32No.
25:33It's over.
25:35Hang on mate.
25:36What can I get you?
25:58Oh my god!
26:28No, I'm friends, my family, okay?
26:33Get off of me!
26:38What are you doing?
26:43I thought you were both alone.
26:44You've got a knife in your bedroom.
26:46Why is there a knife in your room?
26:48No, I'm done.
26:49I'm not having no one in the boys put in danger.
26:51I'm sorry.
26:51No way, mate.
26:52No way.
26:53You've had your last chance.
26:54Get out of my house.
26:55Now.
26:58Me, me, me.
27:00Me, me.
27:01Me, me.