Inspector Alleyn - A Surfeit of Lampreys - video Dailymotion

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A Surfeit of Lampreys The glamorous Chief Detective Inspector Alleyn enters a rarefied atmosphere when the unpleasant head of a spendthrift aristocratic family meets a gruesome end. CDI Alleyn ...... Jeremy Clyde DI Fox ...... John Baddeley Nigel ...... Nick Waring Lord Wutherwood ...... Christopher Godwin Lady Wutherwood ...... Miriam Karlin Lord Lamprey ...... Charles Kay Lady Lamprey ...... Thelma Barlow Lady Katherine ...... Kathleen Helme Henry ...... Jonathan Forbes Frieda ...... Sarah Paul Stephen ...... Peter Damey Colin ...... Carl Prekopp Roberta ...... Helen Longworth Tinkerton ...... Marlene Sidaway Dramatised by Michael Bakewell. Director: Enyd Williams First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in September 2002.  Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00THE END

00:05Gabriel, you know how I hate asking you for money.

00:09You've done it often enough.

00:11And I'd have thought that begging for it was closer to the mark.

00:14Why can't you earn a decent wage?

00:17Why don't you send those idle children of yours off to work?

00:20But they've tried.

00:21They do.

00:22Preposterous, the way you all live.

00:24Butlers and cars and doing the season when you haven't a penny between you.

00:27We may have driveled money away, Gabriel, I grant you that.

00:30But we've gained something with it.

00:33Imogen and the children have gaiety and warmth of heart and loving-kindness and charm.

00:39Charm?

00:40Any low-down blackmailer has charm?

00:43And where's this loving-kindness you talk about when it comes to letting down your creditors?

00:48If it hadn't been for that, nothing would have induced me to ask for your help.

00:51And you're not going to get it!

00:53You can drag yourself and your fool of a wife and your precious brood through the bankruptcy court.

00:58And if it wasn't for the entail, I'd see to it that you didn't get a penny of the lamprey money when I die.

01:04As it is, I shall do my best to cut you out of as much of it as I can.

01:07Oh, my God, Gabriel!

01:09I wish there was some way I could cut you out for good.

01:12I've had as much as I'm going to take from you.

01:14Violet! Violet! We're leaving at once!

01:17We present Jeremy Clyde as Chief Detective Inspector Allan on A Surfeit of Lampreys by Naio Marsh.

01:35marsh what is this what's happened that's lady violet the lift coming back up what the devil's

01:51going on gabriel oh my god the poor fellow

01:57robin robin for god's sake get the children away henry ring for a doctor as quick as you can i

02:05think you've better contact the police oh a bathgate my dear chap look i i don't have a

02:11second something rather urgent's come up i know that's why i'm here what do you mean by that the

02:15murder of the marquis of weatherwood he was still living the last i heard of it how on earth did you

02:19get the news frid telephoned me frid frida lamprey she thought it might be a bit of a scoop for me

02:25and that if i were there it might keep the other newshounds at bay you will let me come along won't

02:32this frid is the daughter of lord charles lamprey i take it yes she's quite a character and lord

02:38weatherwood is lord charles's elder brother and he and his wife were on a visit to the lampreys when

02:43he met with his accident yes that's right the lampreys are old friends of yours i imagine i've

02:48known them all my life they're as mad as mayflies and utterly enchanting and they have such charm the

02:54lamprey charm is a byword i shall brace myself for it they don't live in the real world at all

02:59it's all dressing up and mad parties and family jokes according to frid they even tried to entertain

03:04lord weatherwood with one of their charades this afternoon it might jolly your uncle gabriel up a bit

03:11put him in a more receptive frame of mind how about lady godiva you could be the palfrey henry daddy the

03:18horrible husband and one of the twins could play peeping tom if you think i'm going to covet around the

03:23room with you sitting on my back in the new your hair's not long enough dear uncle gabriel would be

03:29horrified so what did they come up with the story of jail i believe jail but the girl in the bible

03:38who was jail anyway she hammered a nail through cicero's head vengeance is mine

03:46but lord weatherwood was injured by a skewer being driven into his eye wasn't he yes it was the same

03:52skewer the one they used in the charade how excessively macabre

03:58will he live do you think charles it doesn't seem possible and if he dies it seems that if gabriel dies

04:08he would have been murdered what will happen do you think well the police will be here soon we must leave

04:13it to them so what do we tell them well none of us tried to kill him so i suppose we simply tell the truth

04:23don't we of course we tell them the truth

04:29i think you better give me a synopsis of the lampreys bathgate we have i take it lord charles

04:34and his wife lady imogen but everyone calls her charlotte and the children there are five of them

04:40there's henry he's the eldest he's always on the verge of taking a job but somehow he never manages to get

04:45round to it and then there's frida commonly known as frid yes she's training to be an actress and she's

04:51just a touch histrionic and then there are the twins colin and stephen they're absolutely identical

04:58it's really difficult knowing which is which and then there's young michael his great passion is

05:03hornby trains and what about gabriel's wife lady weatherwood she's still in the lamprey's flat i take it

05:10yes i gather she's lying down somewhere or other being looked after by her faithful maid

05:15her ladyship's a distinctly odd bird to put it mildly hungarian i think with some frightfully

05:20unpronounceable name her husband gave up trying to get his tongue around it and decided she should

05:24be called violet they have the most almighty rows and always on the verge of breaking up but somewhere

05:30they stagger on she's got particularly odd of late taking up witchcraft and black magic and all that

05:36sort of thing it all sounds like the most frightful nightmare skewers and charades and broomsticks

05:42and poor old fox will be in the thick of it by now trying to take down lord weatherwood's last words

05:47always supposing there are any is he going to think it looks like it sir do you want to tell us

05:59how you were hurt sir perhaps he might respond better to you my lord gabriel do you know me

06:10will you ask him who attacked him my lord oh it seems horrible now but he he might manage to answer you

06:18gabriel do you know who did this to you

06:28he's gone

06:32so now it's murder

06:38we must be nearly there cadogan gardens isn't it yes

06:42plazance court mansions their flat occupies the whole of the top floor

06:47my darlings just one word before mr allen gets here i think we would be well advised not to reveal

06:53the reason for gabriel's visit it it would hardly present us in a very favorable light

07:01nigel thank goodness you've come we thought that if we were going to be a core celeb you might as well

07:05get in on it first i'm grateful for the tip-off for it but i don't know whether this is mr allen

07:11i'm charles latvin but aren't you lord weatherwood now that uncle gabriel i don't think we need

07:16complicated things mr allen this is my daughter frieda how do you do and my son who is now lord

07:22roon perhaps you'd care to come into the drawing room

07:27these um these are my twin sons stephen and colin how do you do my youngest michael has been packed

07:34off to bed my wife will be with us in a moment oh i do beg your pardon robert i should have introduced

07:40you this is roberta gray a very good friend of ours from new zealand i've only just arrived in england

07:44and you walk straight into a murder yes it's all a bit bewildering it's bewildering for all of us

07:49mr allen i'm afraid we're all rather shaken and confused by what's happened yes it must have been

07:53a very grave shock i shall do my best to get through my investigation as quickly as possible lord

07:57charles but i'm afraid that even so it will be a long and unavoidably distressing business so what's

08:03going to happen exactly well first of all i want to get a coherent account of the events preceding

08:07the moment when lord weatherwood entered the lift i i think i should tell you that according to the

08:12commissionaire downstairs it appears that no strangers came up here at all this afternoon

08:17or this evening so you will see that under the circumstances you mean whoever did it must be

08:24someone in this flat yes i only stress this point to make it clear to you that we must have a very

08:29accurate picture of everyone's movements at the moment we lack lady weatherwood and and your wife

08:36lord charles i'll go and get lady charles shall i if you would be so kind miss gray what about

08:39aunt kit where she got to aunt kit means somebody else i must admit i'd completely forgotten about

08:45aunt kit she must have opt off somewhere it's my aunt lady catherine load she was here with us this

08:51afternoon but this this dreadful business put her out of my mind lady charles is here now we bumped

08:56into one another in the hall please forgive me for keeping you waiting mr allen i'm afraid i simply

09:02can't move my sister-in-law she must come minnie charlie darling if you saw her i mean honestly can't

09:09tinkerton do something she's no help at all she simply says her mistress must not be moved tinkerton

09:15is her ladyship's maid i take it yes she's been with her for centuries we'll carry on as best as we

09:19can for the present i've been over the sequence of events with inspector fox and this is what seems to

09:24have happened lord charles lamprey and lord weatherwood were here together in the drawing room until about

09:29ten minutes past seven lord weatherwood decided to leave and went out of the room making for the

09:34lift i understand you didn't go with your brother sir no we said goodbye in here lord weatherwood's

09:41chauffeur i'm sorry giggle his name is giggle yes well he says he heard lord weatherwood call loudly

09:50for lady weatherwood did any of you hear him it was difficult not to gabriel always shouted like that

09:56for people and where were you please lady charles in my bedroom were you alone no my sister-in-law

10:03was with me and did lady weatherwood join her husband straight away no she said she'd like to

10:08go to the bathroom she was in there for a rather long time and gabriel shouted again for her when she

10:15did eventually emerge i remembered that gabriel didn't like working the lift himself and nor did

10:21violeta i asked one of the twins to take them down i didn't notice which which of you was it

10:28it was me but you mean you both went down i went down sir if you imagine chief detective inspector

10:34alan is going to be fooled by a childish trick like i went down shut up i did did any of the rest of you

10:39notice which twin remained here and which went down with the weatherwoods in the lift

10:42no then we'll go on uh where were the rest of you at this time i was in mother's bedroom miss

10:49gray i was in the dining room right so what we need to establish now is the condition of lord

10:55weatherwood when lady weatherwood and whichever twin it was stepped into the lift but since her

11:01ladyship is indisposed and since both young gentlemen insist that they went down with her we are at

11:05something of an impasse under these circumstances i would like to speak to lord weatherwood's chauffeur

11:10giggle he's in the staff's sitting room i'll get him for you thank you steve and don't trouble

11:18yourself i'll stroll down there and have a word with him any progress mr ellen nothing to speak of

11:24brer fox questioning lampreys is like trying to grasp handfuls of wet sand just slide through your

11:30fingers however i have discovered one useful fact what's that sir the twin called steven has a slight

11:36stammer and a mole behind his left ear shouldn't be too much of a problem putting an end to their

11:41little game let's hope that mr giggle will prove a little more cooperative well sir it was like this

11:49i've been helping master michael with his hornby train he was having a bit of trouble with the bogeys yes

11:56please go on and then i heard his lordship calling out for her ladyship so i got my coat and cap from

12:03here and went off down the stairs and was anyone with you um master michael came as far as the landing

12:09where was lord motherwood his lordship was in the lift sir were the doors open or shut uh i think they

12:17were shut sir did his lordship speak to you he told me to go down to the castle so you walked down by the

12:23stairs yes sir and did you meet anyone on the way uh i did uh i did pass the commissioner in the

12:30hall sir did you speak to him i just mentioned his lordship seemed to be in a bit of a hurry sir

12:36and how long were you waiting in the car well i couldn't rightly say uh after a bit miss tinkerton

12:42came down and joined me her ladyship's made yes sir and then the young lady uh miss gray i think it

12:48is uh came to fetch us up again sir thank you giggle i think that'll be all for the time being

12:54at least oh yes sir uh thank you sir q i don't think any useful purpose can be served by keeping

13:02you all together any longer though i'm afraid i must ask you to remain in the flat lady charles i'm sorry

13:07but i would like to have a word with your son michael if it's possible i've no objection mr allen but

13:12nanny will have a fit waking him at this hour i don't think you need worry mummy when i last looked in

13:17he'd got out that magnifying glass you gave him for christmas he said he was going to do some

13:21detective work well perhaps i'd better go and explain to him what it's all about i'll bring him to you

13:27i'm sure that won't be necessary lady charles i wouldn't want to put you to any trouble perhaps

13:31though nanny could be on hand while i have a word with a boy in his bedroom i'm sure mr allen will be

13:36very considerate in me i'm sure he will and mike will be only too thrilled i don't imagine i should be

13:41very long when you've met mike mr allen you'll realize that no one on earth could prime him with

13:46any story don't be an ass frid what you may not realize is that mike is the most accomplished little

13:52liar you'll think he's telling the truth but if an agreeably dramatic invention occurs to him he'll

13:56use it how old is mike nine do you know that in the police courts we regard small boys between the

14:02ages of eight and fourteen as ideal witnesses they're almost top of the list really and what

14:06type of witnesses do you regard as the bottom of the list oh young people of both sexes between the

14:11ages of 16 and 26 why the textbooks say that they're generally rather unobservant too much

14:18absorbed in themselves and in their own reactions i'll collect nanny on my way lady charles and that

14:25puts us very firmly in our place i don't think the lamprey repertoire of tricks and surprises is going to

14:31cut much ice with handsome allen so that's where you've got to bathgate i've got a bone to pick with

14:38you what do you mean i haven't done a thing since we got here what's all this handsome allen business

14:42i don't follow you it was in an article you contributed to true detective magazine damn it

14:47allen it was meant to be a kind of joke how did you find out about that master michael told me i might

14:53have known it would have been him he's too smart for his own good did you get anything interesting out

14:57of him it all went swimmingly to start with he was all too eager to play detectives going through

15:01everything he remembered in minute detail anything of any consequence well yes there was one thing

15:06he remembered seeing the murder weapon the skewer it had been left on the table outside the drawing

15:11room after the charade but it wasn't there when gabriel got into the lift mike noticed because he

15:17was saying goodbye to giggle he he worships giggle because he knows all about hornby trains anything else

15:23yeah after that it all started to go badly wrong he kept on saying that uncle g was in a terrible stink

15:29about something but when i asked him if he knew why nanny stepped in very smartly and said he mustn't

15:34talk about things like that without asking his parents first i thought i could nip that one in

15:38the bud by sending the constable off to fetch lord charles but by the time his lordship arrived the boy

15:44had worked himself up into the most terrific frenzy of rage yes in certain circumstances the lampreys are

15:50rather inclined to go off the deep end screaming that nanny was treating him like a damn silly kid when

15:54he was trying to help scotland yard and that was when i committed my great gaffe how come like a blasted

16:01idiot i told him he'd never make a policeman if he couldn't keep his temper and at that he pulled

16:06his bedclothes over his head turned his face to the wall and refused to speak another word what could

16:11he have been wanting to tell me do you think i've no idea i fancy you have every idea master michael did

16:18happen to drop the name of mr grimble grimble who's grimble again i think you know very well bathgate

16:25it isn't a good idea for you to run with a hair and hunt with the hounds

16:28i'll lay you a hundred to one that mr grimble who sits in a corner of the kitchen impassively

16:34still reading his morning paper is a bailiff and from there it's not difficult to work

16:39out why uncle gabriel was in such a stink

16:45someone's coming up the stairs

16:47one

16:51who on earth is it

16:54i think there's only one person it can be

16:57such a long exhausting time

16:59the lift doesn't seem to be oh i do beg your pardon i thought for a moment you were my nephew

17:09lady catherine speak up i can't hear you young man lady catherine i wonder if i might have a word with

17:16you oh surely you're not the police but it can't have come to that not already where can i take the

17:26old lady somewhere i shan't be disturbed by the rest of the family there's only one place you can

17:29be sure of that inside the lift this case grows more macabre every minute how the devil am i to get

17:35her in there after all those stairs she'll be only too grateful to sit down anywhere i think you're right

17:40now this time you're on your honor bathgate not a word to the lampreys

17:47too too distressing oh my poor nephew how how did you come to hear about it he told me all about

17:58it this afternoon what who told you so very sad lady catherine who told you what why my nephew

18:08lord john's lamprey i do hope the police will not be too severe what did he tell you about my nephew

18:17gabriel and himself i was so terrified it would come to this to what even now i still hope that gabriel

18:26may soften then you do not know hmm what did you say he's dead oh no no no you didn't say

18:38dead did you i mean i i don't hear very well and i thought please tell me it isn't so i'm afraid it is

18:47he's dead oh terrible and such a grave sin if he laid hands on himself

18:58poor emmy and what will become of the children oh good god not lord charles lord wutherwood

19:09lord wutherwood is dead gabriel is dead yes gabriel is dead

19:16then i needn't have gone to all this trouble what trouble why is mr allen yelling like that he's been

19:26doing it for ages he sounds as if he's shouting at someone downstairs or it's someone death surely it

19:34can't be our kid really emmy why should aunt kit come back at this hour everything's so odd that

19:40i wouldn't consider the return of aunt kit at midnight at all surprising good god it is aunt

19:47kid hear me darling it's where on earth have you been oh to hampstead by tube and bus i should have

19:57returned sooner but i caught the wrong bus when mr nathan took such a long time and who is mr nathan

20:04mr isidore zed nathan charles his shop was closed by the time i got there it took simply ages to find

20:15out his home address you don't mean uncle izzy from the pop shop what dear the porn broker in admiral

20:21street because i'd often thought of doing it before but i always imagined my mom might not have approved

20:27but you are family after all you can always redeem them aunt kitty you were talking about

20:34great aunt caroline's pearls such luck that i always wear them i asked mr nathan to make the

20:41check out to you well after what gabriel said i knew he would never ever did you tell mr allen about all

20:49this oh yes oh lord well surely he can't suspect that any of you oh he seems such a gentleman darling

21:00did you tell him he asked gabriel for 2000 well i didn't exactly say how much now that would hardly

21:08have been proper what was that listen it's a lift i thought the police had disconnected it excuse me

21:17my lord i'm sorry to intrude but mr annan asked me to tell you that they're taking away the body of

21:23lord weatherwood thank you inspector very good poor old gabriel you never knew him when he was

21:31young in me sadly i didn't we were such close friends when we were boys it it seemed such a queer

21:38thing for him to go away from us like this i'm sorry to disturb you again my lord but it's lady

21:42weatherwood charles charles what is it what's the matter i must see chief policeman at once are you

21:47feeling a little bit go away i do not wish to speak to you i wish to speak to chief policemen they

21:54have taken away my husband's body i must have it back i will arrange for your husband's remains to be

22:02brought back to your house in brummel street lady weatherwood as soon as the post-mortem has been

22:07carried out post-mortem what will they do to him will they do dreadful things the surgeon will have

22:12to examine his injuries before they bring him into the house tell them they must cover his face with

22:19something heavy and thick close down his eyes the eyes of the dead can see where those of the living

22:27are blind otherwise how could they find their way as they do into strange houses i will see to it that

22:35lord weatherwood's eyes are covered now it must be understood that i will not be touched or followed

22:42i warn you that there is a great peril in wait for anyone who tries to get in my way i have a very

22:49powerful friend who guards me well nevertheless lady weatherwood the circumstances of your husband's

22:55death oblige me to make very close inquiries you had better be careful my husband died because he

23:02offended against one greater than himself i have not been told by whose agency he died but i know the

23:10force that killed him lady weatherwood who took you down in the lift it seemed to be one of the nephews

23:18seemed seemed lady weatherwood do you think it possible that somebody impersonated one of the twin

23:25brothers was there any recognizable mark yes on the back of his neck i saw it just here yes

23:36it was a sign he does that sometimes who the little master ah the little master yes

23:47do you think the attack on your husband happened before you reached the lift he sat huddled in the

23:51corner not speaking i knew he was angry he had called for me in an angry voice he had no right to

24:00treat me as he did i warned him of his peril i told him nibiros would do my bidding did you speak to him

24:09when you went to the lift why should i speak to him his heart was over his eyes i thought he was asleep

24:15and when did you first notice that something was wrong when the lift was about halfway down i tried to

24:22rouse him he fell forward and there he was with that thing in his eye and a red ribbon of blood running

24:32down his face his mouth was wide open and i opened my mouth like his and i screamed and screamed

24:43so what was all that about oh it's so damn preposterous that i hardly dare to think i'm on

24:53the right track if i am it appears that lady weatherwood believes our husband was destroyed

24:58by a demon well that wouldn't go down very well at the old bailey sir do you think she might have

25:04killed him herself we can't rule it out in fact this precious little we can rule out but we know the

25:10lampreys are in deep water and had hopes of extracting a large sum of money from the victim

25:14we know that they use the skewer in their charade and that it was lying on the hall table at the time

25:19lord weatherwood stormed out of the drawing room what's so infuriating is that any of the lampreys

25:24could have grabbed that skewer nipped across to the lift and done the dirty deed and if it's one of

25:29the lampreys all the others will lie like flatfish to save his or her mutton all for one and one for

25:35all so to speak well at least i now know which of the twins went down with the weatherwoods in the lift

25:40but before i settle there hash i think i'd like a word with mr bathgate ah he was in the kitchen when

25:45i last saw him sir i'll get him making any progress after talking to her ladyship i really don't know

25:53whether i'm coming or going i wish i could be certain that it isn't all just a very clever performance

25:58that she's putting on she's a bit eccentric certainly i could hear her from the other end of the

26:02hallway eccentric as a rabbit on skate that doesn't necessarily mean she's technically barmy

26:09she's had a couple of spells in her nursing home of course has she now that maid of hers tinkerton

26:15has she been with her for some time for as long as i can remember she's probably the one person who

26:20really knows her what kind of woman is she she isn't any kind of person really she has a permanent

26:26expression as if she disapproved of everything and everybody as if the world wasn't quite nice

26:33hardly sounds very promising but i better have her in i was in the servant sitting room when i heard

26:39lord weatherwood call out for her ladyship when i reached the landing i noticed his lordship sitting

26:46in the lift mr giggle had already started down the stairs and i followed after him and you're positive

26:51you saw no one else no one did lord and lady weatherwood often pay visits to this flat no sir

26:57not very often we came up from deep acres for this particular occasion yeah that's the family home in

27:04kent yes and do you know why this visit was undertaken his lordship had a telegram yesterday from lord

27:12charles have you any idea why he wanted to see his brother from what little i heard on the drive up

27:18it was a business visit i did not listen of course of course not but his lordship raised his voice once

27:25or twice and said that he would not do something his brother wanted him to do and what was that do you

27:32know the usual thing expecting his lordship to come to his rescue again you know of course that lord

27:38weatherwood has been murdered everyone is saying so sir and do you know how he was murdered someone stuck

27:45a skewer in his eye and have you any idea who did it i don't know i don't know anything about it well

27:52you know he must have been killed by someone in this flat so they say but it wasn't me i told you i

27:58was downstairs when it all happened ask mr giggle he'll tell you how long have you been with lady

28:04weatherwood 15 years she's always been very kind to me and generous very generous have you noticed any

28:12change in your mistress of late no sir i can't say i have no signs of instability oh no sir and her

28:20interest in black magic and such like how long has this been going on i know nothing about that

28:25so but you say you've been with her for 15 years surely i won't talk about my lady she's frightened

28:32and she's ill and shaking it's not my place to answer questions about her all right we'll leave it at

28:38that but before you go i want you to mark on this plan your exact position when you saw lord

28:42weatherwood in the lift i was standing about here sir thank you miss tinkerton good night good night

28:52sir good night miss tinkerton good night well at least she's out of it that's one off the list

29:02because she's left-handed you mean yes i don't think she's faking it that skewer could only have been

29:07driven in with the right hand she may be an accessory after the fact of course she certainly

29:12clammed up when i questioned her about her ladyship and there's another thing she couldn't

29:16have seen lord weatherwood if the lift door was closed yes would you care to see the twins now mr

29:22allen i wouldn't care to see them at all fox but i fear i have no alternative right i'll wheel them in

29:30you see you are not absolutely identical the distance between the outer corner of the left

29:37eye and the left hand corner of the mouth is not precisely the same and you steven there's the mole

29:42on the back of your neck lady weatherwood noticed it in the lift so you see colin it'll be rather

29:48foolish of you to persist in saying that it was you who took her down the law is not very amiable about

29:54false statements i think you're just trying to bamboozle us mr allen i can't believe that aunt

29:59v would have noticed do pike down colin it it's no go i did i didn't kill uncle gabriel but i i did take

30:10him and aunt v down in the lift don't commit any more perjury colin very well it's not exactly a new

30:22stunt mr allen it's a trick we've played for years whenever there was a really major row brewing so

30:27what did you do i went into the drawing room with henry to talk to father this was after lord

30:33weatherwood had gone off to the lift yes so what did you talk about i didn't i looked at punch and

30:39what did they talk about i didn't notice oh yes henry said something about uncle g saying that aunt

30:46v's maid had debauched giggle and that's all you remember yes very well so stephen tell me about the

30:54lift uncle g was sitting in there with the doors shut and who opened them i did aunt b was sort of

31:03hovering about on the landing when i opened the doors she tacked over and floated in so i simply

31:13took the lift down and you didn't notice anything unusual about lord weatherwood i couldn't really see

31:19him aunt b was standing between us he was sitting in the corner with his coat pulled up and his hat pulled

31:31down i thought he was sulking why should he do that he was a sulky sort of man and then about about

31:41about halfway down aunt v started screaming and then i i saw him properly the the skewer was sticking out of

31:55his eye and he was making noises like an animal before lady weatherwood started screaming which way

32:05were you facing towards the lift door did you hear any kind of movement behind you no nothing not um any

32:14kind of thud if i did i don't remember it so which one of us does he think did it nigel fred you really

32:24well after all we know it's pretty serious if you'll take my advice don't get up to any silly

32:29tricks he's certain to see through them he saw through hours all right i think he's rather

32:33frightened i think he's absolutely gorgeous i wish he'd sent for me i suppose you think you're going

32:38to have a nice fat dramatic scene ending in alan throwing up the case because you're true true

32:42blunt i shan't do anything of the kind i shall be very still and dignified and rather pale and delicately

32:50lovely mr allen would like to have a word with miss gray i'll take you along miss

32:59so what part of new zealand do you come from miss gray south canterbury ah that's the south

33:04island miss yes it is i was in mackenzie county four years ago and it was in new zealand that you

33:11met the lampreys oh yes i stayed with them for a while i thought they were the most wonderful people

33:15i'd ever met how did lord charles enjoy being a sheep farm i gather it wasn't altogether a success

33:21i don't think he took it really seriously it was more an adventure than anything else they all belong

33:26here really now there's one particular point that needs clarifying the business of lord wutherwood

33:31calling out for his wife well we were all here in the dining room when he shouted the first time

33:36and the second it was just after mike had said goodbye to giggle and after lord wutherwood called

33:41out i heard the sound of the lift going down you certain of that oh yes i was trying to find a

33:46cigarette and then i heard the lift come up again i was leaning out of the window looking at london when

33:51i heard lady violet make that terrible noise thank you that is very interesting you've got a note of

33:56that haven't you fox oh yes mr ellen tell me do you find the lampreys much changed since you saw them

34:02in new zealand not really they all look a bit more grown up than i remembered they haven't grown up as far

34:07as their pockets are concerned oh they've never worried much about money it doesn't mean anything

34:11to them but if they're faced with bankruptcy something always happens to save them i gather

34:17this time they may not be so fortunate you see we know why his lordship was invited here do you happen

34:23to know anything of the discussion which took place between him and lord charles oh yes i know all

34:27about it how's that miss well uh it's all rather embarrassing you see we all wanted to know what was

34:34going on there's a boarded up door between here and the drawing room the one over there oh yes so

34:39there is well we lay down on the floor and put our ears against it we fred and henry and me and the

34:46outcome of the discussion wasn't exactly favorable i understand oh no it wasn't like that at all lord

34:51wuther would agree to rescue them he promised to help his brother out oh yes i heard it quite clearly

34:57well thank you miss gray that'll be all thank you good night good night good night miss

35:07courageous little liar isn't she oh you could put it that way if it were the slightest chance of it

35:12being true the lampreys would have been out with the story the moment we mentioned the talk between

35:16the brothers and mark my words brer fox as soon as she tells them what she said they'll be tumbling

35:22over themselves to come up with the same story it won't be much good to them i'm afraid i was

35:27talking to one of the parlor maids she's under notice so she doesn't care what she says and she

35:32heard the brothers through the pantry door going at it hammer and tongs lord wutherwood said he'd cut

35:38the lampreys out of everything he could and lord charles said i wish there was some way i could cut

35:45you out for good crikey yeah that's what i thought sir mr allen i'm sorry to disturb your deliberations

35:52what can we do for you lord charles it's lady wutherwood she's insisting on going to her house

35:57in brummel street and she's proving rather a handful i'm afraid threatening us with all manner

36:02of unseen forces even tinkerton can't cope with her in that case i think we should relax our restrictions

36:07a little lady wutherwood should be in bed anyway and i can easily arrange for a constable to keep an eye

36:12on brummel street but perhaps it would be a good idea if one of you were to go with her ladyship

36:17roberta gray has already volunteered to accompany us rather a youthful guardian my son henry says he'll

36:22go with her with your permission of course certainly lord charles it's very late and i don't see that

36:27we're going to get that much further tonight we certainly need not keep lady catherine here any longer

36:32she has already gone i'm afraid how's that she disappeared as mysteriously as she arrived it's

36:38rather a habit of hers well she wasn't exactly at the top of our list of suspects we'll recommence

36:44first thing in the morning but i'm afraid that you and the rest of your household will have to

36:48remain here that is understood mr allen i'll um make arrangements for my sister-in-law's departure i'm

36:53sure everyone will be highly relieved oh hello what's up are we all going home it's half past two i think

37:03we would all be better off in our beds any idea who did it i'm keeping my own council at present

37:09i'd lay a thousand to one it's that old witch that would certainly be the popular choice what exactly

37:13do you mean by that it would let your charming slippery friends off the hook i'd risk everything

37:18i've got in the world on the lampreys being out of it and aunt violet is capable of anything she's

37:23stark staring mad i wouldn't deny that but there is one thing that puzzles me if she did do it why

37:31does she want his body brought back to the house

37:39adonai dalme lode tetragrammaton ameration and all you spirits of the night come to my aid

37:57that my purpose may be fulfilled that my purpose may be fulfilled and kept hidden from all the eyes of

38:02my enemies

38:04adonai dalme lode tetragrammaton ameration and all you spirits of the night

38:16so brer fox how did your game of happy families go this morning it turned out exactly as you

38:30predicted sir i've taken their statements and they were all falling over themselves to follow that new

38:35zealand girls lead gabriel gave me hell of course but in the end he said he would see me through as

38:42usual oh no inspector what could have given you that idea gabriel agreed to help us out

38:50he always did in the end happy families wasn't very wide of the mark it's as if they were all

38:56playing some silly parlor game a pretty deadly game if you ask me did you get anything out of

39:01that solicitor chap sir mr rattersman has been with the family for years and understandably he's rather

39:06guarded on the subject of the lampreys but the basic situation seems clear enough the weatherwood

39:11legacy should see them safely out of their troubles for the time being at least but it was what he had

39:16to say about lady violet that really set me thinking as the will stands she comes into a very

39:21considerable fortune but it seems that our husband was beginning to have his doubts as to what she

39:26was up to in the words of mr rattersman who is not i imagine given to making sensational statements

39:33she was trying to perform upon lord weatherwood by some supernatural agency bring about his death

39:39you mean he didn't elaborate but the point is that he had been instructed to meet lord

39:44weatherwood this morning to obtain his signature to a new will by which her ladyship would receive

39:49practically nothing so that puts the old lady and the lampreys on an equal footing so to speak

39:54rather looks like it and i found out something rather interesting about her ladyship's maid tinkerton

40:00yes sir i've been having a quiet word with master michael's nanny rather you than me brer fox

40:07well she's fairly got a knife into miss tinkerton you know what those old girls are like

40:13she kept on hinting that she was a very inquisitive sort of woman very much in with a ladyship and

40:19against his lordship she also said that miss tinkerton had been carrying on with the manservants

40:27and with that giggle as she called him in particular yes one of the twins mentioned something of the sort

40:34and i found out something rather unexpected about mr giggle what's that sir by the terms of lord

40:40weatherwood's will he receives three hundred pounds per annum and a small freehold property

40:44near deep acres yeah but that hardly mean even so i think we should have another word with giggle

40:51does rather put him in a different position oh ring up the brummel street house and get him over

40:55here would you fox as i told you before sir i don't know a thing i've got nothing to do with it i never

41:00wished his lordship dead his lordship always treated me fair enough even to the extent of leaving you a

41:05nice little property i understand i never asked for nothing it was all along what my dad did for

41:09his lordship's father you know you can't pin that on me it's always the same if it's gentry and working

41:15men in trouble the police always go over to working men all the time it's one of the evil that'll be

41:18quite enough of that giggle this isn't speaker's corner i just want you to answer one or two simple

41:23questions sit down i'd assume stan very well you say you knew nothing about the tragedy until miss

41:30gray came down and told you when you were going down the stairs did the lift overtake you and go

41:35to the ground floor no sir it didn't come down at all while you were on the stairs look what's all

41:42it said about in the lift it was up top i never saw it go down oh that is all i wanted you to tell

41:47me how did his lordship get on with his servant good enough really i'm not going to get myself trapped

41:54what is the matter with you man the chief inspector asked you a plain question why can't you answer it

41:59i'm sorry i'm just all anyhow his lordship was good enough with his staff um a bit sarcastic at

42:06times but i never minded that did any of the staff prefer her ladyship to his lordship they might

42:12have miss tinkerton for instance she might have is there an attachment between you and miss tinkerton

42:20what the hell's that got to do with anything just answer the question giggle well we might

42:26have might have been a bit friendly like did tinkerton take lady weatherwood's part against

42:31her husband she she's very fond of her ladyship been with her a long time sir so she did she

42:36sympathize with lady weatherwood when it came to any difference between them i suppose so yeah well

42:40then there were differences between lord and lady weatherwood yes and what did they quarrel about do you

42:45know her ladyship's got some funny ideas she takes up with funny people would you say that she was

42:51mentally normal well grace tinkerton wouldn't like this said but her ladyship was shut up for some

42:59time grace is very loyal to her all right that's everything i think thank god for that i've got so

43:07rattled thinking about it when mr fox comes along that's all right giggle yeah thank you sir thank you

43:15right bathgate how do you fancy a little trip down to kent what on earth for i want to take a look at

43:20deep acres the weatherwood family home skim through a few letters and papers that sort of thing we'll

43:25leave fox in charge here i thought you might like to keep me company we'll have to be quick about it

43:31though i want to be back in town by this evening so are you two having a lovely time in brummel street

43:37among all the vampires and warlocks perfectly frightful there's no electric light in half the rooms and

43:42everybody has to stumble about by candlelight that's like being trapped in a very nasty fairy tale

43:47there are stuffed bears everywhere and some seriously spooky pictures i think mummy said

43:51that the house is supposed to come to us when aunt v finally flies off on her boomstick god forbid i

43:56wouldn't be too sure there are bound to be death duties what are death duties i don't exactly know

44:01but there may not be that much money coming to us particularly after all the debts have been paid

44:05off just enough for learned counsel to defend one of us oh you would think of that well let's face it

44:10one of us may have you don't have to worry frid you haven't even been questioned i can't understand

44:18it is there something wrong with me do you think i'd no idea that deep acres was as grand as all this

44:26deer park private golf course it's funny to think of the lampreys coming home to this sort of roost

44:31i suppose lord charles was born here yes he was rather a terrific place isn't it i imagine the lampreys

44:39will make short work of it if it all comes to them a couple of men with cameras prowling about

44:44outside but what the devil are they up to oh i asked them to come down here a bit of local color

44:48for my piece on gabriel's murder that sort of thing might go very well with pictures of your lamprey chums

44:53being carted off in a police van i'm certain it will never come to that well what do you want me to do

44:59anything in particular you'd like me to investigate yes i'd like you to take a look around and see if you

45:03can come across any evidence of her ladyship's witchy activities i'm going to settle down in the

45:08library and take a look through gabriel's desk right i'll get one of the servants to show me

45:12where her rooms are dear gabriel you must be pretty sick of getting letters like this

45:20but i really have come rather a cropper over this sheep farming caper find anything of interest oh

45:26nothing's going to make the front page of your evening screecher begging letters from lord charles

45:31sometimes he struck lucky but mostly he didn't oh and i've discovered something about that property

45:35that's been left to giggle what's that you've got there i thought you might like to take a look at

45:40it i found it at the back of a drawer in his lordship's room it's very nasty whatever it is

45:47a wax doll dressed up i fancy to look like lord weatherwood someone's been trying to melt the feet

45:53a ladyship trying her hand a little sympathetic magic i fancy well it didn't work at least she didn't

45:59stick a pin in his eye and i came across a scrap of paper she'd been copying a passage out of a book

46:04called the compendium maleficarum instructions for making something called a main de gloire so

46:10that's why she wanted the body back what on earth are you talking about well they'll be returning the

46:14late lord weatherwood to brummel street at nine o'clock this evening bathgate oh we've got to get back

46:19straight away henry henry wake up wake up please

46:32roberta what's the matter it's lady weatherwood i saw a light going past the door she's gone up the

46:38stairs to that room the one where they put lord weatherwood and i can't get any of the lights to

46:42come on i'll go and see what she's up to you'd better go back to your room no i don't want to be

46:46left on my own i'm coming with you the door won't open she's locked herself in there with him what

46:55on earth is she doing it sounds as if she's sawing through something

47:06i don't care for this at all where's the nurse anyway she's supposed to be keeping an eye on

47:10oh she's asleep i just couldn't wake her let's go and find the constable he's just outside the front

47:15door

47:24we're slowing down again i do believe this train is going to stop at every station between here and

47:29london if only the police car hadn't had that blasted puncture i've never known you so jumpy

47:35i'm worried about that crazy woman god knows what she might have got up to by now

47:41where's my lady she's not in her room i can't find her anywhere she was in the room where they

47:47put lord weatherwood but she's not there now we can't wag the nurse and we can't find the constable

47:51anyway that's lady weatherwood i only hope that's the police i must go to my lady

48:06what the hell's going on why are all the lights out where is everybody the views must have blown and i

48:12think the nurse has been drugged and that's lady weatherwood where is constable bayley we can't find

48:18him i had a call from mr ellen he and mr bathgate are at charing cross and on their way over you must come

48:24you must come at once it's my lady she's murdered giggle

48:35she's gone completely out of her mind i've always feared this might happen can we get that

48:41razor away from her now leave it to me come on my lady you don't want to be playing with things like

48:47that come on hand it over that's the way she's got something in her left hand good god it's horrible

48:56that must have been what we heard she's cut off lord weatherwood's hand but the hand of glory

49:02oh what about poor giggle ah his throat's been slashed poor devil she killed him

49:13she killed him

49:25the doctor's given her lady ship an injection sir she's much quieter now get him to ring up the

49:30nursing home will you fox the sooner she's out of here the better that's already been taken care

49:34of what should i do about miss tinkerton she keeps asking to see her ladies let us stay where she is

49:39no one's to leave the house i'm going to take a look at his lordship oh you can come with us bathgate

49:45if you promise not to be sick and then we'll all meet together in the drawing room very well sir

49:49i'll tell mr henry and miss roberta

49:54what sort of epitaph can be written for the late lord weatherwood

49:57killed by cupidity and mutilated in the interests of black magic dear old giggle what a terrible way

50:02to go i imagine that if he'd been asked he'd have preferred it preferred it to what to the big drop

50:09good god is giggle our murderer but i thought he wasn't even in the building when it happened

50:14it was miss gray who gave me the vital clue me what did i say that after lord weatherwood had called

50:19out for his wife the second time you heard the lift go down and then come up again you mean there

50:25was a trip down and up that wasn't accounted for but it can't have gone all the way down the

50:29commissioner said that the lift didn't come down to the hall until your brother brought it down

50:33with lord and lady weatherwood in it and even then it didn't reach the ground floor because her

50:38ladyship started screaming and the lift went back up again so the only explanation was the trip that

50:43miss gray heard must have stopped at one of the other floors so what actually happened was the giggle

50:49walked down to the second floor and summoned the lift down with lord weatherwood sitting in it when

50:53it arrived he slipped in rammed the skewer into weatherwood's eye and sent the lift back up again

50:59then he walked on down as if nothing had happened but what possible reason could he have had for

51:04killing his master well to start with there was his legacy 300 pounds a year and the property but

51:10surely that isn't why we were at deep acres i discovered that there are plans to build a new

51:14railway line which will run directly across giggle's piece of property he would have received

51:19a very tidy sum by way of compensation and did aunt v know that giggle was the murderer is that why she

51:24killed him she didn't kill him the razor was in her hand but she didn't kill him then who did

51:32you had a look at the corpse fox yes sir so what sort of murderer could inflict that sort of injury

51:37from behind the head of a victim lying on his right side in a bed by the left hand wall of a room

51:44a left-handed murderer mr ellen so who tinkerton bathgate tinkerton tinkerton she was the lady

51:53macbeth of the enterprise she knew i'm certain that weatherwood was going to cut his wife out of the

51:58will and that put her own very considerable expectations from her ladyship in jeopardy

52:03and i fancy she knew about the new railway as well she must have told giggle that he had to act fast

52:09before weatherwood got to hear of it and changed his mind and he was very stupid and easily

52:14manipulated by a woman like her i imagine it was she who devised the business of the lift but in

52:19that case why did she kill him because he'd lost his nerve gone to pieces completely he was sweating

52:25like a pig the last time fox and i talked to him and he came close to blurting out the whole thing

52:30when they got back here to brummel street tinkerton saw the state he was in and knew that he was too

52:34dangerous she couldn't afford to take the risk but none of this explains why that crazy woman cut

52:39off her husband's hand lady weatherwood as we all know was obsessed with the occult so obsessed that

52:44she'd paid for her enthusiasm with what little remained of her wits as she'd read about the

52:49magical powers of the severed hand of a man who'd been hanged or met a violent death and she had a

52:54corpse under her own roof and the opportunity to carry out this very unpleasant deed horrible disgusting

53:01tinkerton had always been deeply involved in her mistress's magical experiments that scrap of paper

53:06you found a deep acres bathgate was not in her ladyship's writing and i suspect it was copied

53:12out by tinkerton she realized that she could make it appear that lady weatherwood had murdered giggle

53:17but what was the hand actually supposed to do to put all the inhabitants of the house into a deep sleep

53:23or deprive them of all motion be as the dead for the dead man's sake as the poet puts it well it didn't

53:28have much effect on us well we couldn't make the nurse and constable bailey was in a corner of the

53:32kitchen dead to the world as you might say you don't mean that the thing actually worked no

53:37basket i think you'll find that tinkerton has slipped a morphia tablet into their tea

53:42but it was enough to convince lady weatherwood i suppose that was why she felt free to scream

53:46out her magical gobbledygook at the top of her voice tinkerton told her to go to the room at the

53:50end of the corridor where the body of giggle was lying but she may even have persuaded her that the

53:54little master required a sacrifice who on earth is the little master the devil bathgate by the time

54:02her ladyship had found giggles stretched out on the bed in the candlelight with his throat cut

54:06and picked up the razor she probably had no idea whether she'd murdered him or not

54:11she's been taken into a private nursing home i fear she may never recover her wits but perhaps

54:18as just as well how on earth am i to explain any of this to my readers stick to the plain facts after

54:29all if you take away all the witchy trappings it's really a simple story of greed tinkerton pushed giggle

54:35into murdering his master because she reckoned they had a lot to lose if lord wutherwood altered his will

54:40and then she had to kill giggle to shut him up and you should be grateful that your charming friends

54:46escaped unscathed henry's talking about getting a job could that have anything to do with the little

54:51new zealander everything to do with it i should think she's a courageous little party the lampreys

54:57are going to be quite rich perhaps they'll turn over a new leaf now and become quite miserly that would

55:02be too much to hope for bathgate i just hope that the whole experience will be a salutary lesson to them

55:07well that's all over thank goodness and now i think we deserve a little rest why don't we

55:19creep away somewhere for a holiday somewhere rather unsmart where we could bathe and

55:25blow away the horrors and have a tiny bit of mild gambling at night how about monte carlo

55:32that's very unsmart nowadays somewhere quite dull and cheap after all when you think of what we've

55:39been through you're bound to agree that we must have some fun

55:54in a surfeit of lampreys by nio marsh chief detective inspector alan was played by jeremy clyde

56:01detective inspector fox john badderley nigel bathgate nick waring roberta gray helen longworth

56:13lord wutherwood and giggle christopher godwin lady wutherwood miriam carlin lord charles lamprey charles k

56:24lady lamprey lady lampery thelma barlow lady catherine lode kathleen helm henry jonathan forbes

56:34frida sarah paul stephen peter darnay colin carl prekop tinkerton marlene sidderway

56:44a surfeit of lamprey a surfeit of lampreys was dramatized for radio by michael bakewell and directed by enid williams

56:55friendty ron

57:05볼 a blip

57:07door

57:09man

57:10man

57:11man

57:12man

57:13man

57:14man

57:15man

Inspector Alleyn - A Surfeit of Lampreys

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