It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 17 Episode 1

Cinema Series US Film

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 17 Episode 1  #CinemaSeriesUSFilm   🎞 Please join  https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm

Transcript

00:00so as you may recall a little while back we had some volunteers at the school found out they were

00:19here for community service I wasn't tripping four days free labor and they were out of here

00:23but we were alerted to some additional footage if you will turns out these clowns were up to a lot

00:29more than we knew welcome to Abbott Elementary the best elementary school in the universe um what's

00:34the deal with all the cameras we have like a Vanderpump thing going on don't worry about it

00:37no no I think I'll be spending my time on the other side of the camera thank you very much

00:42see yeah okay um if Caucasian cultural exchange is over let's get to the free work before we do that

00:51uh uh could my associates and I talk if you want to talk talk in private I mean I'm going away from

00:57the yeah that's it oh he's got a thing we could just not be now at least take a second yeah Frank just go

01:03go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll be right back yeah we'll be right back yeah this is gonna be

01:07gonna help you with the ducks and yeah just need a minute go go go go go close that door and lock

01:14it okay I got an idea Frank let's not make this a whole thing please yeah just quick in and out

01:19yeah the faster we get done the better I see an opportunity here how's the school an opportunity

01:23it's not just a school it's a gold mine I can't believe these shitheads forgot they were miked

01:30I was a school a gold mine copper piping thousands and thousands of yards of it and this is an old

02:00building they use a thick kind I mean offensive pay a fortune for that Frank Frank well we're not

02:05ripping copper piping out of a public school well why not the city's gonna make them do it anyway

02:09and they're gonna wind up paying for it we'd be doing them a favor okay stop stop we're not doing

02:13this all right we're just we're gonna get through the day okay and then we're gonna get the hell out

02:17of here because I oh my god this coffee is sludge what's the story on the snacks are these free or

02:24what guys I'm with Dennis if I can just get this release sign that we could be out of here in a

02:28week all right look I don't want to get lice from one of these kids oh did you guys know that black

02:31people can't get lice deep that's like crazy racist no no no that's just science it's the lice who are

02:37racist okay hold on you hear this conversation this is us digging a deeper hole let's please not

02:43I'm begging you all why is this door locked and who are you people oh hi we're your volunteers you're

02:49not supposed to be in there this is a teacher's lounge ah then where's the volunteers lounge uh

02:53yeah actually um question sorry are you in charge of cleaning the coffee pots because um

02:57they're really dirty and you're not doing a good job what is this quit eating that yeah quit eating

03:03that I'm not I thought we're free it's not free no get the hell out of here get the hell out of here I

03:08said I thought they were free get the hell out of here okay all right it's just a misunderstanding

03:13probably no guys are gonna be a problem take care of them I can't say I'm surprised by any of

03:18this I mean I liked D at first but things got awkward when she tried to steal you that was

03:22never gonna happen still safe to say I liked her less after that but it wasn't until I saw the extra

03:27footage that I was able to realize just how much of a I need to say a bad word it's okay yeah yeah

03:35I'm gonna say it's real bad talked about this how much of a total fucking cunt she was I thought you

03:42was gonna call her a bitch no I didn't feel that was strong enough okay bitch can be a very fine dog

03:47that is not what this woman is class can I have your attention for one second you are being

03:54taught by a genius and class if I may you have a genius volunteer aiding you oh you

04:03you you it's definitely you right now one two three you

04:08okay I notice you following that one around a bunch what is going on with that I'm not picking

04:18up star vibes from her she's a dud she's a giant dud but I have an idea you follow me around make

04:23me the star of whatever this is and I will make this shit pop right I'll steal her man I'll expose her

04:28for the Dutch she is what do you think let's work together huh hey we can't wait till you come back I

04:36can't wait to come back oh my god I mean what is she talking about the star of the thing I don't

04:45know she's crazy she really is crazy if anything Ava's the star maybe Barb could be me at this point

04:51but you know sure yeah sure you don't think I've gotten no I mean no absolutely no absolutely yeah

04:59you're just focused they kind of you are go through my yeah it's it's interpretation of it okay yeah okay

05:04well actually that's not what this is about no because it's about the kids exactly but the good

05:08news is she was never actually attracted to Gregory at all sorry she should have been no

05:18these dumbasses couldn't even pretend to volunteer for very long day one they try to recruit athletes

05:25for their old high school yo hey dude this place is the worst man they're like totally like trying

05:34to teach me to read and stuff and I'm just like playing along being like oh you know you can help

05:37me but it's just like I'm trying to kill time you know like it's so boring yeah sure what do they got

05:43you doing uh well they don't really have me doing anything but I decided to do this oh what

05:48what is this uh well I uh I grabbed a bunch of stuff from the science class I'm doing a little

05:53science experiment is it coffee it is coffee I could smell it it's the most amazing coffee you've ever

05:58had you wouldn't believe it dude I'm sick give me a cup like Walter White over here yeah absolutely I

06:01got one poured you want this one it's ready to go you would not believe the bozos they got as the

06:05stars of this thing stars of what thing yeah their reality show or whatever it is they got going

06:10oh oh shit I keep forgetting about these guys yeah yeah yeah but I'm gonna use it as a launching pad

06:16though I got an angle no no no we're not doing angles yeah what smells good oh it's coffee you

06:20gotta try and make one yeah you want one this is a coffee yeah yeah come back a little slower so

06:24I'll make a small one raccoon on the loose what really yeah I brought a raccoon in to keep that

06:30janitor busy coffee man nice dude good move yeah no no Frank cameras what's up bitches have you guys

06:37seen the talent in this school no good no what are you doing we're just doing the one thing okay you

06:41guys are talking about five different things for Christ's sake you're all over the place sorry what talent what are you

06:46talking about yeah there's kids like that are taller than me I say we recruit one for the basketball

06:49team st. Joe's no no no oh two great idea man they're not sucking ass we are just doing the one

06:54thing all right yeah I want a straight line to Friday that's it okay all right all right yeah give

07:00some coffee man make a coffee for Matt try a coffee yeah all these coffees it's really perfectly ph

07:05challenged I keep forgetting about the cameras forget about them every time dude yeah yeah

07:09it is easy to forget about the cameras I keep cash on me to make things go away but they took it to

07:17the next level oh that's a good idea totally profit off a young basketball player like pull a blindside on

07:26are you pissing in that locker oh it's a coffee I I drank so much calls right yeah yeah let's do the

07:32blindside well yeah but I think we're not supposed to say blindside because it's like oh yeah it got

07:36frowned upon because it was like a white savior thing and I think white people aren't supposed to

07:40help black people oh no no no that's a misunderstanding okay yeah you see st. Joe's is a predominantly white

07:45team so we're helping a white school so it's fine oh look at that one he's tall well don't say that

07:51one I know that one let's go get it okay let's go get it hey kid look at you wow oh man we saw you

08:00in the hall we liked everything we saw we did what's it gonna take to convince you to leave a place like

08:06this and come with us we may have access to alexis if you want to join one whoa what what is this

08:12what is going on here

08:13uh well um he uh he left yeah how are you okay you need to leave too

08:24what the poor Rodney he was really freaked out maybe it was Jacob interrupting them or maybe it

08:30was when they found out that Rodney is legally blind in one eye and can't shoot for shit don't

08:35think we didn't try he's trash a basketball recruit oh thank god my mind was going to terrible

08:43places anyway they got off that idea and bounced to the next one like one of those ADHD kids the

08:50only thing I will say is their coffee was fantastic okay uh I got soy almond latte for Gregory there we

08:58go much a blast okay and uh Janine you have the uh it was a mocha grande half calf with a splash of

09:03a splash of vanilla okay I got you right here there we go enjoy thank you enjoy Katie I remember you

09:11super complicated order I gotta say guys this experience is not as bad as I thought it was

09:17yeah it's fine you know I mean for once laying low is maybe paying off for us no no no no screw

09:21laying low I'm making a play for dingbats guy and it's working I said no angles excuse me guys excuse me

09:27I'm volunteering so I have to come through here yeah yeah yeah they said that the volunteers had

09:33to come through because we wouldn't normally do that um we're good people but uh we had to so

09:38what bro what guys I'm actually like really pissed at this school like they have no idea how to teach

09:44people you know like what you're not learning to read no it's not the reading I know how to read

09:48it's 9-11 man well what what what about 9-11 yeah the kids don't know anything about it man

09:54they don't know what it is what I heard a couple of them joking and they were sharing funny like

10:00internet memes and they're like oh yeah oh that I know that internet joke thing no that's how they

10:05know it hold on a second well now I have to get involved because that's insane that's kids these

10:09days huh 9-11 is just one giant meme to them it's a big joke it is yeah it's like Pearl Harbor I mean

10:14you know that happens everybody looks the other way now we're all buying Japanese cars I mean

10:20now the Arabs are buying golf from us what golf is the purest sport in the history of football

10:26vanity I mean what happened to never forget yeah we said we never forget we made an agreement to never

10:31forget we forget about these things trying to see something at the camps and just buying whatever

10:35car we want I mean what the hell is this getting what happened this argument went on for way too long

10:40these people were passionate but dumb as shit because at some point they argue themselves right

11:01into conspiracy theories so so it had to be a hoax you know well yeah I mean steel would not melt at

11:07that temperature I mean take fire to steel and see if it melts it won't you know what a missile sent by

11:13your own government is probably what it was it wasn't even a plane I'm starting to think there wasn't even

11:18towers dude I've never been anybody seen the towers with your own eyes not a picture exactly not a picture of the

11:23not a picture of the government is showing towers god they're changing the weather now do you know

11:27about this yeah they control the weather with frogs I saw it they control the weather yeah yeah wait frogs

11:32yeah they shoot the frogs up they keep shooting frogs up they're throwing tornadoes at Florida

11:37crop control crop control there's too many oranges

11:40I know it sounds crazy but I think at one point these people were trying to start a boy band

11:47all right remember to combine all three words here

11:50Darnell Lewis and Jordan Cox please report to the principal's office

11:53I thought it was kind of odd when Ava had one of the volunteers making announcements

11:57now really think about

11:58what oh actually wait yeah sorry go to the bathroom

12:01no no don't tell them to go to the bathroom

12:03Dennis the acoustics are better

12:05have them come to the music room

12:07yeah okay fine uh Darnell and Jordan please go to the music room or whatever

12:10thank you did you have that push the whole time

12:12keep keep doing your work I'll be I'll be right back

12:14so I had to go down there and check it out for myself

12:18I'll make love to you like you want me to and I'll hold you tight baby all through the night

12:29oh this is what we want yeah this is it

12:33that's good you're a very good singer very nice

12:35not a little pitchy but it's fine yeah but my main concern is he's coming off like kind of a nerd

12:41you know we've already got our nerd we need a bad boy

12:43we do uh hey Steven would you say you're a bad boy

12:47I don't know you don't know you don't know I feel like a bad boy would know if he was bad

12:51yeah I think so yeah I told Mac to get the detention list

12:55yeah because that's how we're going to find

12:56hey hey how we doing all right what's what's going on in here

13:00oh we're just having auditions

13:01yeah we're shopping for kids

13:03Ava said we could use the room

13:04and we got her real quick just want to walk this back

13:07um Ava said that it was okay for you to pull kids out of class so that they could sing for you

13:11yeah otherwise how are we going to know

13:13well it's kind of like a class in a way it's a music class

13:15basically like we're just kind of like shopping for kids here and we got a pretty good collection

13:20you know we got a nerd and we got the boy next door

13:22we got the ugly one that people feel sorry for

13:24yeah he's so ugly too

13:26like he's uglier than maybe too ugly

13:28yeah maybe now we found our bad boy

13:30yeah you should see the bad boy is the most important one

13:32though because the bad boy uh makes the sexual component less weird

13:37yeah I wouldn't have said that

13:45that's not why

13:46that's not what it is

13:47this was some crazy shit

13:48I didn't want to deal with it so I took it to Ava

13:51Ava

13:54what?

13:56the others were right

13:57these volunteers have got to go

13:59no you were right

14:00they're amazing in their stands

14:01I might frame them for another crime just to get their hours up

14:04what?

14:05no

14:06did I ask you to stop steaming?

14:15okay she was right between fighting teachers pissing in lockers and the boy band thing

14:20I should have booted their ass

14:21because that white woman was going in

14:23what do you mean you didn't get the fight on camera?

14:27what is wrong with you?

14:28I let that bitch kick my ass so that I could look like a victim

14:32you think I couldn't kick her?

14:33she's tiny I could destroy her

14:36I'd rip her hair out

14:38I got old

14:39I'd rip this whole school bald

14:40if I wanted to

14:41oh but that would look like some kind of hate crime

14:43and the liberal media would

14:45oh wouldn't they just love that

14:46no I'm not doing it

14:48what's wrong with you?

14:49you call yourself a camera crew?

14:51oh my god

14:52get your head out of your ass

14:53now I've seen some shit

14:55but crazy white people

14:57hit different

14:57let me kick her ass

14:59no I am not a violent person

15:03but if I want to kick someone's ass I will

15:05just let me kick her ass

15:07she said that?

15:09no

15:09no and you know what

15:10I'm not mad

15:11I'm not

15:12because I am totally over that woman

15:15because I am a happy person

15:17so

15:18I'm so sorry I saw a mosquito

15:27yeah so at one point

15:30I was misled into believing

15:32they were shooting an educational video

15:34in the vein of Billy Joel's

15:35we didn't start the fire

15:36I don't know how the fuck they got on this

15:38bye

15:39see ya

15:39knock knock knock

15:41I've got a uh

15:42piping hot caramel macchiato

15:44for a Melissa

15:45that's me

15:46oh there you are

15:48thank you Dennis

15:49no it's my pleasure

15:49absolutely

15:50hey go birds

15:51go birds

15:51hey listen

15:52um

15:52might I trouble you with a query

15:53on the subject of Billy Joel

15:55uh with the scale being

15:57one I can't stand his music

15:58to ten

15:59I think he's the single greatest musician

16:01in the history of sound

16:02where do you place the man?

16:04negative five

16:04but you know who is?

16:05a massive fan

16:07150

16:08a million ten

16:09infinity

16:09amazing

16:10okay great

16:11yeah so

16:11we're actually looking to recruit teachers

16:13to help us

16:14with uh

16:15a little song

16:16by that point

16:19I should have known better

16:20but um

16:21I'm a sucker for anything

16:22Billy Joel related

16:22so

16:23this is really exciting guys

16:25okay so here's

16:25here's what we're gonna do

16:26um

16:27you our modern educators

16:28are going to sing

16:29the updated lyrics

16:30to Billy Joel's

16:31classic song

16:32and we

16:33will be reenacting

16:34the iconic historical moments

16:36on video at a later date

16:37oh my god

16:38can we be part of that as well?

16:39I feel like it wouldn't be right

16:41if you weren't

16:41that's great

16:42let's get them involved

16:43yeah

16:43and uh

16:44as a matter of fact

16:45I'm gonna film the rehearsal

16:45if you don't mind

16:46yeah just shoot it

16:46shoot everything

16:47um

16:47okay I'm gonna stumble through one

16:49don't worry if you get it wrong

16:50let's just try it

16:51from the top of it

16:51okay

16:52uh

16:52okay

16:54when

16:54Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese

16:57Captain Sully hit some geese

16:59marijuana legalized

17:02the price of coppers on the rise

17:04Kaepernick takes a knee

17:06Ozempic cures obesity

17:08Y2K was overblown

17:10they shined down Guantanamo

17:12we didn't start the fire

17:14it was always burning

17:16and the world was turning

17:18we didn't start the fire

17:20we didn't stop the fire

17:22it's always turning

17:25we didn't stop the fire

17:32actually they did start a fire

17:34you see this

17:35look it's not even wilted

17:36it's indestructible

17:38you're telling me

17:39that an entire building

17:40is gonna melt to the ground

17:40but we can't even melt the bench

17:41I don't think

17:42oh

17:43oh

17:44he's going up the wall

17:45but eventually

17:46the whole song thing fell apart

17:48when they discovered something

17:49that they did not like

17:50wow

17:51wow guys

17:53that was amazing

17:53yes

17:54oh love it

17:55Charlie

17:55oh you guys

17:57look guys

17:57I'm so excited

17:59and I really can't wait

18:00to be a part of the reenactments

18:01just want to throw that out there again

18:02but I'm just curious

18:04like as to why you guys are doing it

18:06I just was wondering

18:07oh yeah

18:08that's a good question

18:08like so we realize

18:09that the kids don't know anything

18:10about 9-11 really

18:11it's like a joke

18:12or meme to them

18:13and like never forget

18:14and said never forget

18:16and they seem to have forgotten

18:16I love this

18:17I mean I love this

18:19human beings have been educating

18:21one another

18:21through the method of song

18:23for generations

18:24that predate even the most

18:26ancient of society

18:27absolutely

18:28yeah it's true

18:28this particular song

18:29was instrumental

18:30I would say

18:31in our educations

18:32and we just felt like

18:33it was due for an update

18:34it's due for an update

18:35and I love that you guys

18:37did it almost better

18:37than Fall Out Boy

18:38you know with the lyric

18:39change and everything

18:40well no this is a Billy Joel song

18:41oh no no

18:43the band Fall Out Boy

18:44they already did an update

18:46yeah

18:47like of the song

18:47changed all the lyrics

18:49and

18:49who's Fall Out Boy

18:51it's an emo band

18:51that did a really good update

18:52it was really good

18:53okay

18:54yeah

18:55I thought that's why

18:57yeah

18:57will you excuse us

18:59for a moment

18:59we're gonna need a

19:00we're just gonna need a minute

19:01okay

19:02is it to go listen

19:03to their version

19:04no

19:06no

19:06oh okay

19:07apparently this

19:08Fall Out Boy thing

19:09was a big deal to them

19:10stop it

19:11every god damn time

19:12we try a single thing

19:14this god damn

19:14Fall Out Boy

19:15god damn

19:16Chris

19:16always a surprise

19:17fuck it

19:18oh I mean

19:18the head hearty jeans

19:19the spike

19:20plus the eyeliner

19:21that was my look

19:22it was your look

19:23man

19:23you like that

19:24that was your look

19:25god damn

19:25this god damn

19:27Fall Out Boy

19:28I've got nothing for this

19:29in all my years

19:31of teaching primary school

19:32I have never

19:34seen a student of mine

19:36tantrumed that long

19:37and these were

19:38full grown adults

19:40with fully developed

19:41frontal lobes

19:42I thought they were done

19:44but then I found

19:45this video online

19:45it was titled

19:46Fall Out Boy Can't Stop Us

19:48Caitlyn Clark and Angel Reese

19:53Captain Sully

19:54hit some geese

19:55marijuana legalized

19:57price of copper's

19:58on the rise

19:59Kaepernick takes a knee

20:01Osampic cures obesity

20:03Y2K was overblown

20:06they shut down

20:07one time

20:07I gotta hand it

20:10to these jabronis

20:11cause I didn't really

20:12like the original

20:13cause I felt like

20:14Billy Joel didn't even

20:15try to match the lyrics

20:16to the video

20:17but these guys

20:18they milked the school

20:19for every minute

20:20of content they could

20:21it reminded me of that

20:22verse on DMX

20:23is what you want

20:24there was Brenda

20:25Latisha

20:25Linda

20:26Felicia

20:26I wasn't mad at it

20:28it was a bop

20:29look at the end of the

20:31day did I like those

20:31people

20:32no I did not

20:34but I will admit

20:35that what they did

20:36before they left

20:37was pretty nice

20:39thank you all so much

20:41for coming here

20:41please enjoy a round

20:42of drinks on us

20:43Johnny Walker Blue

20:45no spirits

20:46Chardonnay please

20:48gosh we don't have

20:49a bottle already open

20:50yeah

20:51okay Heineken

20:52well no imports though

20:53yeah

20:53Jesus Christ

20:55how about an iced tea

20:57iced tea

20:58I think we have ice

21:00nope

21:01don't have ice

21:02I already checked

21:03yeah no

21:04we're off water

21:04all together actually

21:05not doing water

21:06anymore in the bar

21:07it's a whole thing

21:07you know I am so sorry

21:08but um

21:09why are we here

21:10like what is this

21:11oh um yes

21:12no fair

21:13um yeah

21:13well listen

21:14we just wanted to

21:15let you know

21:15that our experience

21:16with you really

21:17touched us

21:18you know

21:19you blindsided us

21:20with your heart

21:22and your care

21:23for those children

21:24and while Frank

21:24is sorry

21:25that he couldn't

21:25be here today

21:26he did spring

21:27for this gift

21:28for your teacher's

21:30lounge

21:30Mac

21:31a new espresso

21:32machine

21:33nice right

21:36yeah

21:36we don't even

21:37have one of these

21:37no

21:38may you be as

21:39happy as you

21:40are caffeinated

21:41maybe they're

21:43kind of sweet

21:44that was kind

21:44of sweet

21:45yeah

21:46it wasn't that

21:47sweet

21:48come with me

21:49I think they

21:52lured us down

21:52to their bar

21:53so the old one

21:54can do this

21:54he must have

22:01ripped out

22:01about 100 feet

22:02of copper

22:02but on the bright

22:04side

22:04the state

22:05was gonna make

22:05us move out

22:06some old pipes

22:06so actually

22:07he saved us

22:08a few grand

22:08in construction

22:09costs

22:09I'm gonna lose

22:11my job

22:11if anyone

22:12sees this

22:12so burn

22:13those tapes

22:13in the dark

22:14of course

22:15I

22:15don't

22:16know

22:17I

22:17don't

22:18know

22:18I

22:18don't

22:19know

22:19I

22:20don't know

22:21I

22:22don't know

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