- 7/2/2025
Diary Of A Junior Doctor Season 1 Episode 4 - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm completely throwing myself in
00:13the deep end. There's no better place to work than in the trenches at Middlemore
00:18Hospital. What have we got coming in? It's a beautiful place to be but also
00:24like quite a terrifying place to be. There's life and death every day.
00:29It's too soon to be answering that question, okay? You're getting a contraction? Go for it.
00:33Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Five, four, five. Stop, stop, stop, stop. It feels a bit daunting.
00:40It feels quite scary actually. Are we happy on dosage? Time is of the essence and it
00:47matters so you have to come up with something now. You have to think on your feet. Just breathe, just breathe,
00:53just breathe. That's really scary to me and so it should
00:58be because it's a massive amount of responsibility. There's no room for any mistakes.
01:03I need the CPR to be faster please. Stand up, stand up.
01:09You are having a stroke right now. We needed to resuscitate you.
01:14Oh my god. You do become obsessed with getting it right all the time.
01:17That's what I feel like burnout feels like.
01:23What enables you to keep doing such an unusual job is not always the passion of medicine,
01:37that's actually the people behind you.
01:39What? Go, go, go, go, go, go, all the way, all the way, all the way, all the way.
01:43Knock knock. Hello. I'm Farsi, one of the emergency doctors. What they often say is that once you've
02:10worked in Middlemore Hospital you can work anywhere else. That's not bad for a first go.
02:15I just want to prove to myself that I can be work focused but also be very involved with my personal life.
02:22I like routine and if anything deviates from that routine then I feel a bit flustered.
02:29How are you going Kanta? When she fell she cracked something here and here in her toe.
02:37It's not getting better anymore. I'm sorry to interrupt but you are needed in recess four.
02:43Okay, sure. I will come back. Yeah, okay.
02:47So I actually don't know what's going on in there but is there pre-hospital cardiac arrest?
02:53Yeah, he arrested again. He's going to need adrenaline or isoprenaline.
03:02No pulse? I can't feel a radial on this side.
03:04I got nothing. Why don't we start chest compressions? Here, come on.
03:07No, I'm just going to restart the clock. We'll start this at 10. Change your mind.
03:13Yes.
03:15How are you going Kanta? Are you tired? No, I'm fine.
03:33We got anyone to do CPR after him? Yeah.
03:37Five, four, three, two, one. Now.
03:42I'm just going to give him another dose of adrenaline. He's adrenaline-responsive, right?
03:46Yeah. So if he's adrenaline-responsive, we go until he's not. It's a rhythm change, yeah?
03:50Okay, stop. Stop.
03:51Sophie, you have a pulse there. Yeah, I've got a pulse, yeah.
03:54We've got a falling blood pressure again. We're getting wild swings, aren't we?
03:57He's really slowing down a bunch.
03:59Adrenaline's not really working. We're just overshooting, undershooting, overshooting.
04:02His K's come up to 3.8. Full blood count, which is basically normal.
04:06Blood pressure's coming back up. Everything else is pretty good.
04:09Wow, 230. We're going to shock him. Have we got some heads?
04:16Hands are on. We're shocking synchronize.
04:18I think we're slowing down. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.
04:22And someone check for a pulse.
04:24He's got a pulse. He's got a pulse.
04:28So we got him back.
04:30Okay. Come on.
04:33Yeah, we are...
04:35Some good CPR?
04:40Oh, thank you. All right.
04:42Run away. Come back. Chat with me. All right. Sounds good.
04:49I've done CPR only in simulations.
04:54I've never had to CPR on a human being.
04:58Part of getting thrown into a situation like that is trying to stay calm and collected,
05:06not feeling flustered.
05:09And I think I did feel flustered.
05:13For me, it was kind of like trying to take in everything that was going on all at once.
05:18But as soon as I got given the role of doing CPR and assisting with that,
05:23then I kind of figured out, okay, this is what I'll do, and I'll just focus on this.
05:28He kept coming in and out of having a pulse, not having a pulse.
05:31So we're still trying to figure out what's happening.
05:35Treatments will only increase the chance of survival.
05:38Can we give him some more dream home of you?
05:41Coming to you there with a 63-year-old male,
05:45cancer of acute dysphagia at 12.30 whilst at work,
05:49currently GC at 13.
05:51We're with you in five minutes.
05:53They said seizure, right?
05:54Yeah.
05:56With a seizure, I'm always worried it could be a stroke.
06:00As a 17-year-old, I was rushed to the emergency department.
06:04I'd had a stroke, and those doctors, they saved my life.
06:07As soon as someone has a stroke, I'm really careful with every moment.
06:11With strokes, the more patients like that you see, the more experienced you are,
06:15you can be confident that you've done the right thing.
06:17All right, my patients need me.
06:18For me, it's about appreciating life and having a respect for death.
06:27So this is David, he's had an episode at work where his right leg has started giving way,
06:40and then his speech has gone very abnormal, has been able to get words out, but the thought has
06:46been there, and then three-quarters of the words he's trying to say are coming out.
06:51But the rest of the obs are all normal, and he's now talking quite well.
06:54So you think you're completely back to normal now?
06:57Um, yeah, I think so.
06:59All right, we can probably step you across if we're happy.
07:02Just have a seat there, mate.
07:04It's walking pretty good.
07:05Yeah.
07:05It's critical to make an early diagnosis while there's an intervention before it's too late.
07:11No chest pain, no back pain?
07:12No, there was no pain whatsoever in the chest.
07:17I'll just check over him again.
07:19Okay, how many fingers am I holding? If you look straight ahead, how many?
07:22Three.
07:22Okay, and then now, look straight ahead.
07:25You see that?
07:26Yep.
07:27Yep.
07:28So when you look around the room, nothing's missing?
07:30No.
07:31Pull in.
07:32Good.
07:32Nice.
07:33Really strong.
07:33Push out.
07:34Yep.
07:35Pull in.
07:36Okay.
07:36Yeah, that's good.
07:37Okay.
07:38So far we think that it might be a mini stroke, which means your symptoms have resolved.
07:42But our scan will look at why this has occurred, and is there anything else going on in the brain?
07:47Okay, so that's really what we're trying to work out.
07:49If you do the wrong scan, you can miss something that's quite significant.
07:53So it's always kind of an anxiety that I have, and everyone has as doctors when it comes to stroke.
08:04The main concern is the bleed can just get bigger.
08:07You can have further bleeding, and once it starts compressing structures and compressing the brain stem, it's a very rapid death.
08:13So no evidence of a stroke on that one.
08:22Okay, David, so there's no evidence of a big stroke, so that's a good sign.
08:26But it doesn't mean that you didn't have a small stroke, okay?
08:29So I'm just waiting for the more detailed report there, which is basically the main thing we're looking at is the size of your arteries supplying the brain.
08:41A bit of an unusual presentation of a stroke.
08:43You didn't have the classic facial droop, weak arm, loss of sensation.
08:49The symptoms are quite subtle.
08:51I was just wanting to clarify a few details.
08:53You had speech problems afterwards.
08:55Yeah.
08:56Probably straight away, I couldn't really probably get the letters, the words out.
09:04Okay.
09:06Just to check your speech, can you say a few things for me?
09:08Can you say British Constitution?
09:11British Constitution.
09:13Is that normal for you?
09:14No, that's probably a little bit not quite.
09:17But it's quite subtle.
09:18Yeah.
09:19Okay.
09:19I've got to continue my detective work.
09:21I'm a bit anxious.
09:23We're missing something.
09:28So I met up with one of the midwives.
09:30She was really worried about you because she was so upset on the ward.
09:35Oh, Dylan's out of here soon.
09:37I had to make the decision of going back to Wellington.
09:40To hear him talking about how important his family is.
09:43Yeah, it did make me think how much I miss out on because I don't have any family time really ever.
09:49Now I can go home to an empty house.
09:51Yeah.
09:51And just the books.
09:52It's a bit miserable, to be honest.
09:54Oh.
09:58The only thing that actually triggered the tears was Amanda, the charge, came in and was like...
10:01Oh, she was nice to you.
10:02She just asked me a question.
10:04I think it was about myself or about Brad.
10:06I can't remember.
10:07And I kind of turned to her and I was like, I just can't answer that today.
10:12That was a bad week.
10:14I think it's a combination of just stepping into that role, just feeling that extra pressure,
10:19the phone ringing, asking my second opinion on everything.
10:22My partner had just left and I was just like, oh, I'm going to explode.
10:28I thought I loved being on my own.
10:31Me and the cat, I was happy enough, but actually when he left, I was like, oh, this is so miserable.
10:38Come to work every day under immense amounts of pressure, go home, house is empty, no one to chat in.
10:43I'm so glad that you're able to share this because you're obviously a toughie and it is difficult.
10:50Can you take some extra days off?
10:52Yeah.
10:56Everyone always asks me, why do you and other junior doctors work and study so much?
11:01It's because we have to.
11:03You need to know so much.
11:04Being a junior doctor is a career that spans a decade, sometimes more.
11:09And there's just so much to learn, so much to know.
11:11OK, Shannon's going to lead the theatre brief for us today.
11:16All right, we've got three ladies on our list today.
11:19The first one we'll ideally do is a 25-year-old lady.
11:22She has a thickened endometrium abnormal uterine bleeding and has two ovarian cysts,
11:26one 10 centimeter and one seven.
11:29Ultimately, we're a training unit and so therefore part of it is to train doctors of future and part of
11:34that is to make sure that Shannon is competent at doing procedures.
11:37So this is about training people in a supervised manner to be able to do the surgery in years to come
11:45when I've retired.
11:46Everybody happy to start?
11:48Yes.
11:48Yeah, of course.
11:49Let's start.
11:50We've got a lady who has some abnormal menstrual bleeding.
11:54So we're going to be putting essentially cameras and telescopes into the womb and have a look.
12:01We're doing this to rule out a cancer.
12:03Just talk me through what you're looking for.
12:05So fundus first and then two osteos to make sure I'm actually in the uterine cavity.
12:11Yeah.
12:12So I'd expect one to be here, which there is.
12:16What do you think you're seeing?
12:19A very distorted cavity.
12:21What would be your next move?
12:24To sample it.
12:25With surgery, it really is.
12:28Every case is very different and every case is challenging in a different way.
12:32I think there's enough abnormality in there that we need to get a good sample.
12:37We need to get a good sample, okay?
12:39Yeah.
12:39That's quite clearly...
12:41Very abnormal.
12:42...abnormal and quite clearly we're at risk of a cancerous condition.
12:46So it's a little worrying.
12:50I'll take over in a second, okay?
12:51Yeah.
12:53Looks...
12:54Because we'll...
12:54It looks a little unusual.
12:55Yeah.
12:56I agree.
12:57Endometrial cancer is thought to be an older woman's disease,
13:00usually seen in women over 45.
13:05But we're seeing it in women that are in their 20s.
13:09This is grossly abnormal tissue.
13:12I have quite a lot of concerns.
13:16We'll stop there.
13:16We've got enough tissue, we'll send that off.
13:18Yeah.
13:18But we'll...
13:19Okay.
13:19We should bring her legs down.
13:21I'll bring the legs down.
13:21Fortunately, endometrial cancer, if it's caught early, is quite curable.
13:28We'll resample the lining in a few months to make sure that the cells have not gone cancerous.
13:34I love to work with women.
13:37You can really make a difference.
13:41It's usually rewarding and, like, so lucky.
13:45I actually do feel really lucky.
13:58It was basically the second we walked out.
14:00You're arrested again.
14:01Yeah.
14:02ICU came down and they decided it had been two hours.
14:05It was probably becoming futile.
14:07ICU came down and they decided it would have been two hours to make sure that the cells have not gone out.
14:28Something like this is pretty unusual, where someone who's relatively healthy has sort of an unexpected death out of the blue.
14:37My suspicion is, I mean, he'll be thinking about it a lot.
14:45No, it's really tough.
14:47And, you know, even sort of an older guy like myself, who's somewhat jaded and, you know,
14:52has been around the block, it still, you know, hurts.
14:58I've learned a little bit more things.
15:00Grandpa always in good health.
15:02Yeah.
15:02He, like, wasn't that old.
15:03So have you had any deaths since you were in your training so far?
15:08I've had deaths.
15:09Uh-huh.
15:09Yeah, but not active CPR.
15:12So, you know, how do you feel about this one?
15:14For me, it's kind of just taking a step back, trying to compose myself, get myself collected.
15:18Yeah.
15:19And there's just a bunch of emotions going on all at once.
15:23The last four shifts I've had, four people die.
15:28And, like, this is the only one that bothered me.
15:30I think it'll just take some time to figure out how I'm feeling when I'm at.
15:45In the emergency department, having to deal with life and death,
15:49I know it's part of the job, especially with those acute resuscitation scenarios.
15:53And while I had experiences with patients passing away and death in general,
16:00every time that I have experienced it, it was quite difficult.
16:03I think it's a good job.
16:12Okay.
16:15His numbers were okay, otherwise, weren't they?
16:16They said other opposite unremarkable, but it's been between that 1968 and the AF.
16:22Yeah.
16:23I guess he's going to get his brain scanned, isn't he?
16:25Okay, let's have a look.
16:26Looking at the scan, he actually has a very large cloth.
16:49These things get turned nasty pretty quickly.
16:50Every time I have to give that bad news, I always struggle.
17:05It's a heavy diagnosis to give someone.
17:09Okay, David.
17:10So, we had a look at the scan of the radiologist.
17:13One of the small vessels appears to have a bit of an occlusion.
17:17So, it is in keeping with a stroke.
17:19So, you are actually actively having a small stroke right now, okay?
17:26It's quite a significant diagnosis, but so far, you're medically stable.
17:30Our goal now is to prevent further damage, okay?
17:34Yeah, so we're just going to arrange a transfer of you over to Auckland.
17:36You'll probably be with them overnight.
17:38We'll give you a general anesthetic to the procedure to remove that blood clot.
17:47Fortunately, we got the right scan in a timely manner.
17:55And it led to a very important diagnosis.
17:57And he got treatment that really saved his life and saved his function.
18:02And I'm happy for that.
18:03Like, it's like, you know, it's a high, like, you're, like, elated.
18:07And that's a great feeling.
18:27It definitely grows an obsession with the job.
18:29It's easy to let the job take over your life.
18:51I've let that happen.
18:52I'm realising that what enables you to keep doing such an unusual job
19:01is being appreciative of the things that get you up in the morning.
19:06It's not always the passion of medicine.
19:07It's actually the people behind you.
19:10And actually maintaining those relationships is as important
19:13as becoming a very proficient doctor.
19:16I haven't seen Jordan as much.
19:29We're on different shifts.
19:31We're not living together.
19:36Oh, wow. Thanks, Stephen.
19:41Well, you're saying no carbs, right?
19:42Oh, perfect, perfect.
19:44Like, we are all human.
19:46And I think he helps remind me of that,
19:49that there is another life outside of work.
19:55And I need to put more energy there.
20:00How's your apartment life going?
20:03It's good.
20:03You missing me?
20:04You know, I miss having you around and hanging out.
20:05But, yeah, you were kind of like my counsellor.
20:10And now I've lost my counsellor and...
20:11You could be doing the Iron Man with me.
20:16It's good for your health.
20:17It'll keep your coronaries clear.
20:19Maybe if I commit to doing a half Iron Man,
20:22then we'll have enforced quality time together.
20:25You ready, Frances?
20:31Yes, we're ready, yeah.
20:32So, what is your understanding of what we're doing for you today?
20:36That I'm getting, taking out my uterus and my fallopian chips.
20:39Yeah.
20:40Yep.
20:41Today, I'm hoping that I can do the whole hysterectomy.
20:45I have not done that amount of laparoscopic surgery ever.
20:49And you had endometriosis in 2015?
20:51Yes.
20:52So, if there's any in there today,
20:54we'll excise that as well and get rid of it completely.
20:56Of course.
20:57OK.
20:59See you soon.
21:00See you. Thank you.
21:01This is a pretty tricky operation.
21:03I would say it's probably one of the trickiest gynae operations to learn.
21:06It's really straightforward hysterectomy.
21:09Laparoscopically is about two hours.
21:11With your endometriosis and scar tissue,
21:13you're looking at three hours.
21:14So, I don't think it's going to be an easy operation.
21:20Out of six years of training,
21:22Shannon looks at the lower end of the training.
21:25She's a very most people at a level who don't even do the hysterectomy.
21:31But she is particularly quite onto it.
21:35But, um, I hope so, her.
21:40I knew I wanted to do something in university that led me to a very set career.
21:47I grew up in Dublin with my mum on her own.
21:52It would be kind of lower socioeconomic area, quite rough.
21:57Lots of unemployment, crime.
22:01Yeah, just a lot of poverty.
22:02Just a lot of people struggling.
22:04My mum had two jobs for a lot of my life.
22:06She's such a hard worker.
22:09I definitely knew I never wanted to struggle.
22:12Because I'd seen people struggle around me my whole life.
22:15And I never wanted to have to borrow money or, um, wondering how I'm going to pay my power bill.
22:23I knew I didn't want that.
22:25So, when I was applying for college, I had medicine as number one.
22:29I think inside, I very much had a fire and I was like, I'm going to achieve this.
22:36I'm going to get in.
22:37And it was literally just me on my bed and my books in the evening and just like a goal and a focus.
22:42And I still feel like that.
22:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:45Right, go for gold.
22:47Over the left there.
22:50Oh yeah, I can see peritoneum.
22:52There we go, in.
22:52Yay!
22:54I have so much to learn still, especially with gynecology surgery.
22:58Like, I'm just at the very bottom of this gigantic mountain.
23:03And that kind of keeps it exciting.
23:05So, it is a curved incision.
23:07Yeah.
23:09Okay.
23:09It's your time to shine.
23:11Time to shine.
23:12What?
23:12I was already shining.
23:13No, you're kidding.
23:14Oh, you're kidding.
23:16Oh, there it is, look.
23:22Beautiful.
23:25Okay, let's start suturing.
23:30You do need to let go of the needle when you're pulling through.
23:34Oh, yeah.
23:35How many years did it take Ernest to actually be able to do this without struggling?
23:39Um, pretty say I was not in second year.
23:42I was in fourth year.
23:46So, you are way ahead of me.
23:48Well, that's good news.
23:50You want the posterior one now, because we've done the top one.
23:54All right, last one. I can do this.
24:00Beautiful.
24:01Nice work.
24:02Thank you, guys.
24:04Fantastic.
24:06You want to do the scan and I'll do the note?
24:08Yeah, so start the notes.
24:11I just need to stretch.
24:16I did the whole thing.
24:17I'm so pleased.
24:19Yeah, and I'm really good.
24:21She was very impressive.
24:22It was, by and large, very well done.
24:27I wasn't even touching these instruments.
24:31She's way ahead of the curve.
24:33This is, like, top of the third chain.
24:36So, most people's ultimate goal, laparoscopically, is to be able to do a hysterectomy.
24:41So, the whole hysterectomy, I'm so happy.
24:45I can reach for the stars.
24:48I see they can't be that far.
24:52It's been ages since I've gotten to do something that I've not done yet.
25:04I kind of had that feeling again, like, when I did my first C-section.
25:07So, I was buzzing.
25:14Alright, so, packing-wise, I was thinking the turban here, shoes here, and then we'll close that up.
25:23And then I think we can just put the shawl over it.
25:27So, that's the shawl.
25:28Yeah.
25:28Flying out on Saturday to Sydney, getting ready for my wedding next week.
25:35This was from Sydney, Australia, and she's a doctor, too.
25:40Because she's over there, and I'm here, and she's working, and I'm working.
25:43A lot of our interactions were through messaging or voice calls or the occasional video chats it would have.
25:51And so, I have only met her maybe a couple times in person.
25:55But we connected almost instantly, just felt very natural.
26:02I could be myself, and I don't have to put up a facade or fake who I was.
26:08We both laughed at our own jokes, and she's just a funny, loving, you know, just very bubbly, outgoing type of person.
26:16And she's super cute.
26:20I feel like that's going to get squished.
26:23You should put this and the shoes over here.
26:25And you should put this at the bottom and the shoes at the top.
26:27Are you sure?
26:28Yeah, that's what I think.
26:29Would have fit.
26:31And then you can, like, cover it as well.
26:34I guess I was nervous and shy initially, and I guess I still am at times.
26:39But we definitely have really grown fond of each other.
26:42How are you feeling about the wedding?
26:46Oh, excited.
26:47Yeah.
26:48Yeah.
26:49Yeah.
26:50It's, um, yeah.
26:51Feels pretty surreal at the moment, but I'm sure it'll kick in when I touch down on Sydney.
26:57I feel like it's pretty surreal to me.
27:00It hasn't, like, fully sunk in yet.
27:03Yeah, neither.
27:05Yeah.
27:05Oh, Stephen.
27:07Oh, Lou.
27:08Let's go and do this assessment, shall we?
27:10Oh, yeah, sounds great.
27:12I'm not nervous at all.
27:14Oh, yeah, that's right.
27:15You get nervous.
27:17It's my favourite time of day when I have to be assessed by one of my consultants.
27:23I've had to learn how to take negative feedback.
27:26Definitely got pretty upset in the early days and still do sometimes.
27:29As part of the training programme, we have various things that we have to get signed off.
27:35And this is one of the things.
27:36So the lady who's come in with an unexpected pregnancy,
27:39and we're just trying to rule out that there's no emergency component to that,
27:42given that she's having pain.
27:45To grow, you need feedback.
27:47And although it's not nice getting the feedback, it's a really important part of your training.
27:52The nerd in me does always liken it to Star Wars and the apprentice versus, you know,
27:58the master, like the Padawan versus the kind of master Jedi.
28:02Hey Amberlee.
28:03So my name's Lou.
28:04I'm one of the more senior doctors.
28:06And all I'm doing is I'm going to stand in the corner and just watch him doing this ultrasound.
28:11So I will be quiet.
28:13I'll just be in the corner.
28:15So the scan is because you've surprised us all on your pregnancy today.
28:19And then also you said you've had two weeks of pain in the belly,
28:23and you're also bleeding quite a bit.
28:24And your blood test confirmed the pregnancy.
28:30And so this scan really is, we think that, and I'm sorry to say it,
28:35we think that you're having a miscarriage.
28:39I know it's like a surprise, but still, you know?
28:43Yeah.
28:44It's just sad, really.
28:47One of the emergencies we have is sometimes the pregnancy's not actually where it should be.
28:51It's just completely outside of the uterus.
28:55And it's somewhere where it could become life-threatening really quickly.
28:57And so we do worry about that.
28:59Because of the vast field of medicine and how complex it is, you get humbled.
29:06Other than rib shadow, I don't see any evidence of anechoic parts.
29:11So nothing concerning for fluid.
29:13You are trying to learn more and more.
29:16It's a harsh reality when you realise that you're only just breaking the surface,
29:20or only just starting to climb that mountain, actually.
29:24So, so far everything's good, all right?
29:26It's looking very good.
29:27Do you want to take a breath in, please?
29:32All right.
29:33What we're saying there is there's no, like, real bad emergency thing there.
29:37So there's no blood in the pelvis.
29:40Our suspicion being that, sadly, that you did probably have a miscarriage without realising it, okay?
29:44Mm-hmm.
29:47Appreciate that's difficult news.
29:51You feeling okay?
29:54Yeah, it's just, like, unexpected, that's all.
29:57You know?
29:59Sad, but it is what it is.
30:03It's just, like, you know, it's just, like, you know, it's just, like, you know, it's a lot of pain relief.
30:08And then, uh, the plan will be we'll admit you under our Women's Health team.
30:13Our goal is just to make you as comfortable as possible and just help with the bleeding and the pain.
30:17So just, uh, don't feel afraid to shout out if you're feeling unwell.
30:21No worries, thank you.
30:22All right, thank you.
30:27I thought you were very sensitive to the situation.
30:31And it was hard, wasn't it? Because you actually had to communicate bad news.
30:36Yeah, I feel like it never gets easier telling people all that news, but, yeah.
30:40No, but...
30:41Hopefully our wording gets kind of better each time.
30:43I think it was good, and, yeah, I felt you did that really well, actually.
30:46And it was very clear, and you were lovely with the patient, and...
30:49Yeah, I don't have any negative feedback for you.
30:53Cool.
30:53At all.
30:54So it's a pass.
30:55Hallelujah.
30:56Well, it's a spectrum.
30:59These are all spectrums.
31:00Spectrums.
31:01But you can't possibly expect to do all of these perfectly the first time.
31:04Perfectly the first time, yeah.
31:05Although you, because you being you, probably do, but...
31:10I think if you just allow yourself to be an apprentice, it can be quite enjoyable.
31:15Like, if you just allow yourself to grow, um, and just let go of that desire to know it all,
31:22like, just enjoy the process.
31:24Every run, I kind of just look back at it, and I'm like, wow, did that all just really happen?
31:46You don't really notice your growth while you go through it, but then once you finish the run,
31:51you look back, and you feel like you have grown.
31:58Medicine is a lifelong journey.
32:01It's always a mountain.
32:03Come on, go, go, go, go.
32:08All the way, all the way, all the way, all the way.
32:10All right, 20 burpees.
32:12I think I always need the challenge for me to kind of enjoy my life.
32:17I always need a hill to climb, and the friends to climb with me.
32:21All right, big boy, you need me to recess you?
32:26Hands on my chest.
32:28How'd you find that?
32:30Come on, feel alive, huh?
32:33Are you okay?
32:34No.
32:34Are you actually okay?
32:35No.
32:36Okay, let me carry this.
32:37Yeah, that's right.
32:38That was the whole time I was thinking, I was like, why do I agree to this?
32:41I'm having a real, what do I call it, existential crisis?
32:59Exitional crisis.
33:02Because I just realised, like, most of my 20s are done,
33:05and I have not done anything but work.
33:09I don't own myself outside of this.
33:12And that idea of being 30 creeping up on me,
33:15I just feel like I'm missing out on so much.
33:18I just have, like, massive life FOMO.
33:22I just need some time to do something else.
33:27And that's not working, and it's not studying,
33:29and it's not doing research.
33:31And I want to go spend some time with Brad, and keep him company in Paris,
33:36and just have some fun, and just take a break.
33:39Yeah, I'm just going to put my training on hold for six months.
33:43I want to do it now before I'm too deep into my career.
33:47So I think it's now or never.
33:49Next stop, um, a life.
33:55Hello.
33:57Have you already planned for your leave?
33:59Yeah, I've got six months.
34:01I get giggly like a little child when I think about it.
34:03I know.
34:04I left you thinking about it the other day.
34:06It's going to be so good.
34:08Whoop.
34:09Are you coming over in July?
34:11Yeah.
34:11I actually can't wait.
34:13I'm going to be a new woman.
34:15You have to start practicing your French.
34:18After seniors can start to, like, learn.
34:20Nah, I can't.
34:22Don't give me any more pressures.
34:23I've literally had, doing medical school, getting the job I wanted as a first year,
34:32doing that exam I did in Ireland, coming to New Zealand, trying to get on to training,
34:37getting on to training, starting in Middlemore, now doing this exam, I just want to do nothing.
34:43You can just make a list of all the things that are enjoyable and then we'll do them.
34:47Yeah.
34:47Oh, maybe we can, maybe we can get those bikes where the two of us cycle at the same time.
34:52And then we'll go on a nice holiday.
34:53Yeah.
34:54See you soon.
34:56Love you.
34:57See ya.
34:58Bye.
34:58Have you too.
34:59Bye.
34:59Sleep well, bye.
35:00Bye.
35:02My supervisor, Doug, wasn't right.
35:05You always need to have something to look forward to.
35:08Shannon, we'll go see her first. Is it all right?
35:10All right, yep.
35:12Hi, Jashara.
35:12Is it OK if we all come in?
35:14You feeling OK this morning?
35:15Yeah.
35:16On your script, we'll put pain relief, anti-nausea, just in case.
35:20OK.
35:21Cool. Next one.
35:22Hello.
35:23It's me again.
35:24You look like a different woman to yesterday.
35:26Oh, my goodness.
35:27Oh, my goodness.
35:30Hello.
35:31How are you going?
35:32I'm 40 plus 5.
35:34Yep.
35:34Did you pack your bags?
35:35Yeah.
35:35Good.
35:37I'll be back.
35:38See you later.
35:39I definitely want to come back.
35:40I love this job.
35:41I want to do this job.
35:43And I think I'll come back and I'll probably be much more refreshed and just I'll be a better
35:48person and doctor if I do it.
35:51Time out, everybody.
35:51On the table, we have Josephine at Centre for Caesarean Section today.
35:55We have a breech baby.
35:56Yep.
35:57And we've had antibiotics.
35:58Good dog given.
35:59Cool.
35:59Everybody's happy?
36:00Yes.
36:01I'll do a pre-stretch.
36:05OK.
36:06Starting.
36:07Nice to see you.
36:11Sometimes, you know, people say to me, God, you look so young to be doing my C-section.
36:14And I'm like, yeah, I feel it sometimes.
36:18I feel, what the heck?
36:20How have I gotten here?
36:22I still feel like that 22-year-old that just started.
36:24It's just gone so quick.
36:25Tissue scissors, please.
36:28So much has happened.
36:30I have kind of chosen the, like, difficult route.
36:34But I think I do actually enjoy challenging myself, to be honest.
36:38I think it kind of keeps it interesting.
36:41Big stretch, darling.
36:43Good job.
36:44You want to expand these a bit?
36:45Yes, please.
36:45I'll have the knife again.
36:46Oh, I think baby's moving.
36:48Every baby is different.
36:51Every situation's different.
36:54Every instrumental delivery feels different.
36:57Hold the chest.
36:58Very good.
36:59That's not the other chest.
37:01Thank you, baby.
37:02You still get the...
37:03When the baby comes out?
37:06Woo-hoo!
37:07OK.
37:08Hi.
37:09Congratulations.
37:10Nice to meet you.
37:10Wakey, wakey.
37:13Come on.
37:13This is a great job.
37:15This is what I want to do.
37:16Come to me, girl.
37:22I know.
37:23I have to give you back now.
37:26Can I have another clam for the placenta, please?
37:28Everything's going super well.
37:37Aw, is that all the family on the phone?
37:40Yeah.
37:40That's so nice.
37:42I don't know if I would say I'm meant for it, but then again, I don't know what else I would do.
37:49So, I must be, and I'm not too bad at it.
37:53I'll keep rolling with it for as long as they'll have me.
37:55Happy?
37:58It all went really well.
38:00Couldn't have went better.
38:02My mom loves to go see mediums.
38:04Yeah.
38:05She used to love a good fortune teller.
38:06I think it might be an Irish thing.
38:09But I was at a crossroads of whatever I would do.
38:12And she said to me that, after she went to a psychic, they said to her that,
38:19your daughter's doing something medical and she will be surrounded by babies for all her life.
38:24Guys, I went to go visit the lady I did the Breach Caesar run with you.
38:29And then we were like, can we take a picture of me with the baby?
38:31Like, is that okay?
38:32And they were like, yep, go for it.
38:33Look now.
38:34I remember telling people that was like part of the decision making.
38:50The psychic said I was going to do it and then it would be great.
38:53So therefore, that's what I'm doing.
38:55It's locked in.
38:58Listen, they catch you when you fall.
39:02We're all brave enough.
39:05All brave enough.
39:07Hey, take it all and drink it out.
39:12Hi, Farsi.
39:13Hey, Lou.
39:25Do you want to pick a patient and wander out to the waiting room?
39:42Seb, you've been playing rugby.
39:55Yeah, I caught an elbow to the head.
39:59Oh, yeah.
40:06Oh, it's a seizure again.
40:08The hardest thing about the emergency department is there's that uncertainty to it.
40:13You just don't know who's going to walk through the door.
40:16The turnover rate is very high and you're dealing with a broad range of different presentations.
40:21A bit wobbly, eh?
40:22Yeah.
40:23You seem quite unsteady there, don't you?
40:25Yeah.
40:25Yeah.
40:26And you rule out any severe life-threatening causes.
40:30From what you're describing, it doesn't really sound like a heart attack.
40:33It's quite hectic, non-stop churning through patients.
40:38I just find it really tough.
40:40This is most of God.
40:41I definitely want...
40:42It's not, it's like, yeah, not sustainable for my lifestyle.
40:45It's anti-social.
40:46Do you know, I like won't see my flatmates for a week.
40:49Yeah, it's rough.
40:50We're literally living together and I never see them.
40:52Yeah, that's right.
40:53It's very socially isolating.
40:56Farsi.
40:58We'll just go to have a chat.
41:01It's kind of my role to make sure the junior doctors are happy.
41:05Some of them are a bit overwhelmed.
41:08He's hit a bit on his plate.
41:10You know, I think the scary thing is that someone comes in with a relatively benign presentation and
41:16sometimes it turns out to be quite serious and concerning and it's a bit daunting, you know?
41:21Yeah.
41:22And it's overwhelming sometimes too.
41:23I think that can be hard.
41:25But I think more so in the fact that, you know, the hours can be pretty gruesome and then you have
41:29to try and juggle a lot of your work and your life at the same time.
41:33I don't think it's something that I would want to continue in the long term.
41:36Yeah, it is a struggle.
41:37Some people think, oh, I think I'd like to do ED, do three months and go, I can't hack this.
41:42It's just the night, then the, yeah, it's all over the shop.
41:45Yeah, it's changed.
41:46You've got to be in.
41:47Yeah, yeah.
41:49I can understand some of the junior doctors have said to me, this is really dreadful.
41:55Sometimes we have to prop up or put things in place for them, maybe reduce their hours for a little
41:59while or even just getting leave.
42:02I got two weeks off.
42:04I'm getting married.
42:06Oh, amazing.
42:08Oh, yeah, that's your priority.
42:10Your priority is.
42:11Yeah.
42:15I'm not.
42:17Hello.
42:17I'm Farsi, one of the doctors.
42:19One of the reasons I got into medicine was that there's just such a diverse range of specialties
42:31out there and you have the luxury of just choosing what you want to do.
42:37That's the great thing about medicine is that there can be a place for everyone.
42:45I just hope I can find the right place for me.
42:49Thank you so much for protecting the Dolores' atmosphere.
Recommended
42:53
|
Up next
2:26:02
1:08:37
44:34
44:34
0:30
0:30
0:30
42:29
40:56
1:07:24