- 6/22/2025
Diary of a Junior Doctor Season 1 Episode 3
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm completely throwing myself in
00:13the deep end. There's no better place to work than in the trenches at Middlemore
00:18Hospital. What have we got coming in? It's a beautiful place to be but also
00:24like quite a terrifying place to be. There's life and death every day.
00:29It's too soon to be answering that question, okay? You're getting a contraction? Go for it. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:35Five, four. Stop, stop, stop, stop. It feels a bit daunting. It feels quite scary actually.
00:43Are we happy on dosage? Um. Time is of the essence and it matters so you have to come up with something
00:49now. You have to think on your feet. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe. That's really scary to
00:57me and so it should be because it's massive remains of responsibility. There's no room for any mistakes.
01:03I need the CPR to be faster please. Stand up, stand up. You are having a stroke right now. We needed to
01:13resuscitate you. Oh my god. You do become obsessed with getting it right all the time.
01:17That's what I feel like burnout feels like. What enables you to keep doing such an unusual
01:35job is not always the passion of medicine, it's actually the people behind you. Go, go, go,
01:41go, go, go, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
01:55I can be a medicine, I can be a medicine
02:00Throughout medical school I've just been wearing like hoop earrings
02:10I like the idea of having like a signature look
02:13I prefer to look more approachable than professional
02:17I just hope that I kind of feel a bit more comfortable being a doctor
02:21Things will move very quick
02:23You got that? You alright?
02:24Yeah
02:25Would you tell me if you weren't alright?
02:27Yeah
02:28I'm a bit teary, it was a bit of a long day
02:31Like feeling a bit overwhelmed
02:37At the beginning it was a bit of a rough adjustment period
02:40But I think after that first few weeks it got a lot better
02:43And I felt more comfortable
02:45Good morning
02:46Morning
02:47How was your weekend?
02:48When you feel that you can offer something
02:52Like you're kind of actually contributing to the team
02:55It feels very rewarding
02:57So I actually enjoy, like I don't really mind at the moment
03:00Like staying late and doing these things
03:02Because I'm enjoying it at the moment
03:04Which I thought was quite odd at first I was like
03:07Oh like I don't want to work
03:09So, so much effort
03:11And like especially as a student
03:13Like oh I have placement tomorrow
03:15Like kind of that was some of my thoughts
03:17Like oh I can't be bothered
03:18Like can I just skip?
03:20That was a hot take
03:22What's that?
03:23It's a hot
03:24Have you heard of what a hot take is?
03:26No, please explain
03:27It's like someone says a comment
03:29And it's like an interesting perspective
03:31And you're like oh that's a hot take
03:33Right
03:34Clearly they're too old
03:35Is it a Gen Z thing?
03:37Yeah I think it's a Gen Z
03:38Is it a Gen Z thing?
03:39Remind me
03:40I'm actually on the cusp
03:41I'm like half millennial, half Gen Z
03:44If anyone cares
03:46Huh?
03:47So what?
03:48Don't worry
03:49Vascular Health Officer Shadi's
03:50It's a bit of wanting to be confident
03:53And to be able to provide
03:55Like the best healthcare possible for the patients
03:57But also for them to be like oh yeah like
03:59I really like seeing her
04:00Or I really like that she's my doctor
04:02You look nice
04:03Thank you
04:04How are you doing?
04:05I'm doing good
04:06I saw you moseying around
04:09Yeah
04:10Yeah
04:11And then with the physio you did the exercises
04:12Yes
04:13Oh okay
04:14How did they see you were going in terms of
04:16Oh they're really happy
04:17You're progressing
04:18Because every time I've
04:19Every time they've taken me to do something
04:21I've said I can't do it
04:23Yeah
04:24And then I've done it
04:25And then you've done it
04:26Yeah
04:27Okay so it's kind of like getting over that
04:28It's just that bit of fear in here
04:29Yeah
04:30You know
04:31I'm scared of falling
04:32I've always been scared of falling
04:33Yeah
04:34So yeah I don't want to fall
04:36So yeah I'm trying
04:37So I have to be
04:38Build up all these muscles
04:39Yeah you need to
04:40Because this is what you're going to rely on now
04:41Yeah
04:42So that's really good
04:43I'm glad you're here
04:44Yeah
04:45Okay
04:46Awesome
04:47Sweet I'll see you later
04:48Thank you
04:49See you later
04:50Thanks
04:51You get a lot of gratification from helping with the patients
04:52And since I'm really enjoying what I'm doing I feel like quite energized actually
04:56Shani Veskula house officer
04:57Yeah
04:58Yeah
04:59Bye
05:00Bye
05:01Bye
05:02Bye
05:03Bye
05:04Bye
05:05Bye
05:06Bye
05:07Bye
05:08Bye
05:09Bye
05:10Bye
05:11Bye
05:21Bye
05:22Bye
05:23Bye
05:24Bye
05:25I get this call saying that I had multiple complaints about my outfit and that we want
05:53our doctors to what they wear to inspire confidence in their ability to practice and just think
06:01about what you would wear if you were in front of a judge.
06:04Well I didn't think it was a crop top, I didn't think that it was inappropriate.
06:09I don't know for me I just felt like it was just my normal what I would wear, I wore it
06:14a lot during med school.
06:18Do you think the response was warranted?
06:20Mmm, I think it was a bit overkill so they had like, yeah it sounds like an overkill.
06:26I didn't really, like in that moment I was just like I can't believe that I'm like, it feels
06:31like I'm in school and I'm being told off, it could be a generational thing but it could
06:37be.
06:38I remember what you were wearing.
06:39It was fine.
06:40It was fine.
06:41What does professionalism look like?
06:48There's been a record number of emergency patients through the doors of Middlemore Hospital.
07:03Just last week the South Auckland ED had its busiest day ever treating almost 500 people.
07:09Give it to Mum.
07:10Give it to Mum now.
07:11It's not the only one.
07:12Ta, ta, ta.
07:14That's the end of that.
07:16There's so many things that need to line up for you to be a mum and a hospital physician.
07:22Now have a listen to your chest.
07:25People ask me what I do in the day to day so I'll say everything that's not likely to need
07:31surgery.
07:32Soon I have to sit the most important exam of my career.
07:38Being at Middlemore it's really busy and you see everything.
07:42It's a learning experience.
07:44We're well above capacity in terms of patients on the wards, in the emergency department and
07:53in MAU where we normally are and out in the waiting room.
07:59I think the capacity is 140 and there will be at least greater than 200 patients at the
08:06moment.
08:07Sometimes I've gone to see patients in the waiting room that have been waiting 11-12
08:12hours.
08:13It's not good.
08:14It's dire.
08:15But it's not unusual.
08:17This has become the norm.
08:23Linda?
08:24Linda?
08:25So busy today eh?
08:29Thank you for waiting.
08:31So you've had a headache, is that right?
08:33Okay.
08:34So I've been one.
08:35Oh no.
08:36When did it start?
08:37It started on Friday.
08:38Okay and we are now Tuesday.
08:41And is it a throbbing pain at the front?
08:43Yeah it's like everywhere.
08:45Okay.
08:46And what were you doing when it first started?
08:48Just relaxing.
08:49And then any like problems looking into the light or you've wanted to be in a dark room?
08:55Yeah um for the last couple of days I've been in a dark room.
08:59And then any like tearing in your eyes?
09:01Like your eyes tear up or?
09:03Yeah they do and then like yesterday this eye was like so fat.
09:07Okay.
09:08Alright.
09:09I'm seeing a few little changes at the back of your eye that are suspicious for the blood pressure problems in the brain.
09:19Because it's a vein problem the veins can sometimes get blocked.
09:23So as soon as a bed becomes available we'll get you through okay?
09:26Alright.
09:27We'll come back out this way.
09:29Sorry.
09:30Alright.
09:31No spare beds anywhere for her eye.
09:33She's in front of a couple.
09:34Okay.
09:35So yeah you go out and then as soon as a bed becomes available someone will yell out your
09:38name?
09:39Yeah.
09:40Okay.
09:41Yeah sorry.
09:42They're piling up in the waiting room.
09:43Ambulatory is full and corridors are full so.
09:50I'm so sorry of seeing you in the corridor.
09:52I'm worried about this one.
09:54Yeah here this one.
09:55Okay let's have a feel eh?
09:57I think we do some thyroid function tests tomorrow.
10:08I stay here?
10:09Yeah.
10:12Alright.
10:13It's really hard for patients that nobody wants to be treated in a hospital in a corridor
10:18and stay the night there and sleep the night in the corridor amongst other people in the corridor.
10:25It's so busy.
10:26There's so many people to be seen and there's just not enough space for everybody.
10:31Okay.
10:32This lady was supposed to be getting a bed around here from the waiting room.
10:43She's been in the waiting room for like seven hours and I've already seen her told them to
10:48send her in but now it's looking like she's not on the system anymore.
10:51I just hope she hasn't self discharged.
10:56Oh no.
10:57It looks like our one from the waiting room might have left.
11:01She's just at super high risk for lots of things.
11:14Worst case scenario anything can happen.
11:16You can have problems with heart attacks, you can have problems with strokes.
11:20It's actually really dangerous.
11:23These are people's lives and so you just have to do what you can do.
11:31Call them.
11:32Call them again.
11:33Linda?
11:34Linda?
11:35Linda?
11:36Linda?
11:37Linda?
11:38Linda?
11:39Linda?
11:40Linda?
11:41Linda?
11:42Linda?
11:43Linda?
11:44Linda?
11:45Linda?
11:46Oh nice.
11:47Linda?
11:48Yep.
11:49I'm over here.
11:50Oh awesome.
11:51Hi.
11:52Hello.
11:53Do you want to come through with me?
11:55Okay.
11:56Come on through.
11:57Knock knock.
11:58Ready?
11:59As ready as can be.
12:00Yeah.
12:01Am I right in saying this is your second C-section?
12:02Yep.
12:03Yeah.
12:04Okay.
12:05I'm going to stick this on your wrist.
12:06It basically just says you're having a C-section today.
12:07All right.
12:08We'll see you soon.
12:09All right.
12:10Big stretch coming off.
12:11This year, I'm stepping up.
12:12I'm stepping up.
12:13All right.
12:14All right.
12:15All right.
12:16All right.
12:17All right.
12:18All right.
12:19All right.
12:20All right.
12:21All right.
12:22All right.
12:23All right.
12:24Big stretch coming off.
12:25This year, I'm stepping up to be the senior registrar.
12:28You need balance.
12:29You've got to actually make sure that you don't blow up.
12:31When Brad goes, I just pretend it's not happening and I just keep waking up every day
12:35and going to work.
12:39I think people worry about me because they think I'm miserable.
12:43But I love being on my own.
12:46And most of the time, I'm actually pretty happy to be at work.
12:49I would rather be busy than sitting around.
12:53We just got a fourth C-section.
12:55No.
12:56We're not normally doing this, are we?
12:58No.
12:59We have four.
13:01Feeling a bit small today.
13:05Starting.
13:09This is just scarred subcut tissue.
13:13I'll have a tissue scissors.
13:15I remember the first few times doing C-sections on my own.
13:19Hi.
13:20You ready to meet your mom?
13:22Hi.
13:23Hi.
13:24Hi.
13:25Hi.
13:26Hi.
13:27Hi.
13:28And just being like, I did a C-section.
13:30Telling all my friends in my WhatsApp group.
13:32Telling my mom.
13:33And it just being like the most exciting moment ever.
13:36And for loads of C-sections after that, I felt like that.
13:40And now even when I do a new procedure, I get that buzz.
13:44What do you think, Dad?
13:46Cute.
13:47Hi.
13:48Cool.
13:49First stitch, please.
13:50Every time you got to do a little bit more, a little bit more.
13:52Yeah, the fire was just becoming more intense.
13:54Yeah, I just wanted to do all the cool stuff.
13:57All right.
13:58Starting.
13:59What a massive privilege.
14:00Like, people trusting me to go inside their abdomen and deliver their baby.
14:03Like, who gets to do that?
14:04So, I'm just going to go inside their abdomen and deliver their baby.
14:06Like, who gets to do that?
14:07So, I'm just going to go inside their abdomen.
14:09All right.
14:10Starting.
14:11Alright, starting.
14:12What a massive privilege.
14:14Like, people trusting me to go inside their abdomen and deliver their baby.
14:17Like, who gets to do that?
14:19So, I don't take it for granted, ever.
14:21Oh.
14:22Hello.
14:23Oh, look at you.
14:26Hi.
14:27Hi.
14:28You're a bit heavy for me, buddy.
14:30Look at this one.
14:31Look at this one.
14:32He's tysDERhof.
14:34He's good.
14:36let the dreaming begin tomorrow the world starts all over again tomorrow the world
14:51starts all over again see you later buddy all right on to the next when you've just had a really
15:00good day on delivery suite everything's gone smoothly all the babies have been born healthy
15:04and happy all the moms are happy it makes you feel really good about the job
15:16hello i got my new roster for next week yeah it looks like because i'm um stepping up and getting
15:24a junior buddy i've got more operating and more like fun stuff nice yeah so that should be good
15:29i'm gonna meet my new buddy on monday his name's dylan okay so this is almost like
15:35your little partner yeah exactly i'm not sure what his skill level is but i think he's my junior so
15:41i'll be like teaching him and supervising him or we'll be like working together so yeah you'll
15:46become a big dog if you're all right a big dog no i'm still a baby
16:03you know when i got into the exam i felt pretty prepared and felt really ready then got into the
16:18exam and i was just like oh my goodness it feels like grief which sounds stupid because i've like
16:27have been through grief but it feels exactly the same it was just like you know when you go through
16:32grief you have regret and you have like hurt and pain and disappointment and sadness that's what it
16:41feels like i think i was at like early high school and i told my mum i wanted to be a doctor
16:53i remember her like sitting me down and being like okay let's apply for some scholarships
17:00and i ended up getting a scholarship i would have never ever thought to apply for them if it wasn't
17:06for her mum passed away when i was at med school she had cancer and she was really young so that was
17:17like the big loss in my life my mum was really passionate about us being independent women and not
17:27have to rely on anybody or anything and so like in reflection i sometimes think maybe she um like
17:38this was her final lesson of independence you have to be independent of me
17:49and just like you can do it you know
17:51hello hello is this a code stroke hello yes this is this morning from 6 30 in the morning she noticed
18:03also facial numbness and limb weakness okay now so what time did you have this numbness it started about
18:12about about seven and then what happened after that the numbness and the headaches is getting worse okay
18:21and in terms of the headache is it a throbbing pain what kind of pain is it constant stabbing constant
18:28stabbing pain i've been having ivy antibiotics because i'm on dialysis okay how long have you been
18:34on dialysis for 18 and a half years wow never missed a day wow medicine's all about history
18:44tell me which bingo i'm moving uh right yeah everybody says history is the most important
18:52way that you diagnose people when history for us is people's stories what do you do for work i used to
18:59work here 23 years wow when i worked here it's like a family you know and even though i don't work any
19:09long because i'm too sick they still treat me like part of a minimal family i would work here free if i
19:17had to because i loved it so much oh nice so i really miss it yeah i like hearing that stuff it's so
19:27important because there's a person behind all of that that's one of the other things that drew me to
19:32medicine it is hard to go from the health professional to being this reliant on a hospital to keep me alive yeah
19:48i never expected working here though i'd get the sick
19:51no one expects to get that sick do they after my mum passed away i just realized that like nothing is
20:05promised when it comes to health my mum was really really healthy there was no reason why she should
20:13have become unwell so the importance of what we do every day like why we're here
20:26it's about helping people either be cured or live in a way that aligns with whatever time that they have
20:33left so i got in i don't think i got i maybe got in trouble i don't know so i was wearing like not
20:48like top like this basically a top like this and the pants were also meeting like this and then i had
20:55a call and it was like i've had multiple complaints about your outfit saying it was like unprofessional
21:02but i was saying i disagree that the outfit was unprofessional like if it was like this how is
21:08this but like i don't think this is unprofessional in workplace you need to be dressing in a way that
21:14but i don't even think you're imagining the outfit that i'm wearing i kind of do
21:18okay what's your hot take alex whose side are you on no no okay and i know you hate when i give this
21:26answer at some point there's a degree of hearing the other side as well so i think it's
21:32not i'm not saying you're right i'm not saying you're wrong i think that is quite a that stance
21:37leads to like some hurt feelings well said just just like i don't like being told yeah well
21:45welcome to the world of um working
21:52i still feel like i'm 18. you know i still call my mom i need help with my washing
21:56but i'm transitioning from a student to a doctor and having to have all these new responsibilities
22:05now people come and ask me for advice like you're no longer a student now you're part of the team
22:11you're always welcome to come to any of these theaters yeah yeah you're actually that doctor
22:17looking after the patient yeah yeah so you're part of the team so you should come to theater because
22:22you're looking after them on the wall okay hi got the whole team today should we have a look at this
22:31is that sore or yeah
22:38sorry that we're not really winning here we've tried multiple times i think you've been on
22:43antibiotics for a long time as well i think the best option probably is to do an amputation unfortunately
22:52we've tried everything we can yeah i'm sorry it's come to this
23:00you're looking after patients in their most vulnerable parts of their lives
23:05it kind of made me start thinking about like i need to shift in the way i have to view my job
23:11you know i have to grow up
23:20i'm coming home oh you don't know um no okay i was just wondering because um mason and the others
23:33want to have like dinner at 6 30. i was wondering if you be free by then 6 30.
23:39definitely no cinto for season for nine nine stop cinto for around 12. do you want me to do anything
23:48shannon and dylan oh could you book the caesar and i'll do the consenting this year i have my first
23:55year trainee and my job is to teach supervise and manage
24:03she's been really kind to step up to support our juniors which is fabulous but also um quite tricky
24:12because she's got to let our junior doctors learn and grow quickly but equally monitor them so it's that
24:19balance yeah tricky i've gone from having someone on the floor who i can ask questions to people on
24:28the floor asking me or calling me for help is it more than three or good question i would define it
24:34as more than three so is that a brainy or is that the baseline when she contracts this is the baseline
24:40yeah shall i just finish getting this sent off yes please shannon you're gonna be able to see room
24:45three yeah is that all right like that oh yeah pull that back right up and so if anything happens
24:50for room 12 should i just do a lactate yeah so it's three fully effaced now so it would be a tricky
24:55lactate what bloods did you want with her just cbc you and a lft because she's diarrhea i'm not
25:01interviewed at all with perineal tears oh yeah we can do that doing one deep one here to close this space
25:07yeah beauty that's a huge shift it's probably the biggest shift i've had um yeah tons of responsibility
25:15i think i have a baseline heart rate of about a hundred because you don't know what's coming
25:21through the door oh there's an emergency bell shut come on need to go babe i'm sorry
25:45all right all right everyone happy yap please get the alexis ready please
25:58big stretch honey
26:03stand up stand up
26:09oh you're wrapped up
26:13come on give us a cry
26:23when i started as a junior red i had some tricky cases and i was super stressed
26:46i really struggled during that time just really bad anxiety and lots of overthinking
26:52lots of obsession really doubted whether i would be able to do this job because i just
26:58was like i don't know if i have the personality to cope i'm just holding on too much thanks
27:02everybody you okay honey it all went really well i'll come see you when you're feeling
27:06a little bit better okay then one of my senior regs basically said to me if you want to do
27:12this job you need to accept that you're going to have one bus full of babies and mothers
27:16that you'll think about all the time and it'll affect you so i kept that in mind
27:21can i accept that i'll have all these people on my mind forever
27:26probably will it affect me yes
27:29i know this place is crazy and sometimes scary
27:36but yeah that anxiety it slowly is creeping in a little bit at the moment because of the
27:42halls stepping up and trying to stand on my own two feet and work
27:45and i've just noticed the last few i'm getting a bit sick in the tummy and not sleeping as well
27:53and i'm just going over and i'm dreaming of it and then i wake up and i'm like was i even asleep
27:59because i've just been thinking about it all night
28:01it's about every delivery i did every perony in my sutra at every c-section
28:06just imagining how anything could go wrong while i was asleep
28:11do you feel like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders
28:15i'm just trying to find ways to deal with it so it doesn't take over
28:21and you hope that somebody can help lift the weight when you're older
28:25this is a lady who's come in with a stroke call this morning for left-sided numbness facial and arm and leg
28:47in some time at the ward it has become unwell and then collapsed
28:52okay so have we got a blood pressure cuff on her
28:54no pulse no output
28:56okay let's start cpr
28:58are we getting adrenaline drawn up
29:01so cpr started at 105
29:04have we got a line
29:06adrenaline drawn up on the patient's left
29:08i need that cpr to be a bit faster please
29:11thank you
29:12okay can we please give the adrenaline
29:18i'm at the end of the bed because i'm a leader in that process
29:23your aim is to have a bird's eye view
29:26to look at everything that's going on
29:29to be thinking about
29:30iv access oxygen levels blood pressure
29:33and can i have someone taking notes
29:35are you going to take notes okay so we're at two minutes now
29:38we should do a rhythm check
29:39okay let's go
29:40okay rhythm check
29:41stop cpr
29:43stop cpr
29:46stop cpr
29:48stop cpr
29:50stop cpr
29:52stop cpr
29:53stop cpr
29:54stop cpr
29:56stop cpr
29:58stop cpr
30:00time kind of goes a little bit slower when you're there
30:02there's like two minute intervals and you're like has it been two minutes yet and it's like not
30:08there's just so many things going through her head
30:15okay rhythm check
30:17any pulses
30:19PEA continue
30:27was she complaining of any chest pain before all of this happened?
30:30no chest pain
30:31no chest pain
30:37okay let's stop for a rhythm check please
30:39can someone be feeling for a pulse?
30:47i've got a pulse
30:49you've got a pulse?
30:50okay
30:51okay
30:52okay nice
30:57so sats are at 100% we've got a heart rate of 142
31:01hi james
31:03i don't know the heart rate has come down a little bit
31:05you had a bit of a seizure i think darling and then a bit of a cardiac arrest i think
31:09oh my goodness
31:10yeah but look at you now
31:12you're back with us
31:14and your sats are 100%
31:17oh my gosh you've changed since this morning that's for sure
31:20we're still trying to work it out but we brought you back
31:24we needed to resuscitate you
31:26we had to do cpr
31:27yeah
31:28oh my god
31:29i know
31:30i'm not expecting that at all
31:32this is the new cup
31:33this is the new one
31:34thank you
31:36she was gone
31:37so essentially she's died and come back to life
31:41it's quite a surprise that she's back to normal now essentially
31:46she's a fighter
31:47like she's just one of those patients that will just surprise you
31:53so should we do a time out?
31:55yeah
31:56yep
31:58so we've got here rakesh for a baloney amputation
32:01and he does not want his limb returned
32:04my name's gary the vascular surgeon
32:07shawty vascular housing
32:09okay you're happy for us to start
32:12you're looking at that calf there
32:15you want a flap at least to here
32:19and skin knife thanks
32:22i'm excited to kind of see more surgery
32:26one of the complications of diabetes is some sort of block in the arteries in the legs
32:36often people will get like a cut on the foot and then it won't heal because there's no blood supply
32:41you know we're worried about the infection spreading into the bone
32:44and that's when you start to think about amputation
32:48just work on where it is
32:50yep
32:52it will not get in his way
32:53yeah
32:54it's a fine balance
32:55balance of sucking the fluid out so the diaphragm you can cut
33:02and you can see we're getting to the neurovascular bundle
33:04oh yeah
33:05yep
33:10do you want to try and stay on the bone and not have tissue
33:13yeah
33:14how strong do you feel
33:16i don't know
33:17quite hard work
33:22no
33:23no
33:24yeah
33:25he's got quite strong bones
33:26no
33:28i think it's too hard
33:30you've got the sore thanks
33:31people do
33:32we want to go down to about here
33:34push down, push down
33:39there you go
33:42good
33:43once you've got the neurovascular bundles i tend to just take the leg off
33:46okay
33:47there was a moment when it kind of came to me again i was like
33:50we're taking away his leg now
33:52he's not going to have his leg
33:54felt a bit sad for him
34:02but then also it kind of passed
34:04i think i'm able to feel it in the moment and then be able to move past it
34:09because i know it's life saving for the patients
34:16surgery is kind of very clear cut in terms of how you can intervene with a patient
34:21you have a problem and you're able to fix it
34:24the outcomes are right in front of you
34:26you know it's a very tangible result which i like
34:33being a surgeon is so attractive
34:35but um
34:36if you want to get theatre experience like surgical experience then
34:40you can do it outside of hours
34:42i haven't actually done that like stayed later to be in a surgery
34:45um but something i would like want to do
34:48um
34:50and that so that also kind of affects like
34:52you know your schedule
34:55hi
34:57welcome back
34:59hello
35:01how are you?
35:03um good just tired
35:05what's on for tomorrow?
35:07well i've still got work tomorrow but i'm working this weekend
35:10to get more theatre time
35:13or do you need theatre time for something?
35:16no you don't it's just if you're interested in surgery
35:19you have to be like willing to
35:21be in the operation and so that means like coming in
35:25you want to do that?
35:27i am leaning more towards like doing something surgical
35:30um but then i don't know i feel like it's more hours involved
35:34so i guess yeah it'll be quite a difficult lifestyle for us i think
35:40like having to try and navigate that
35:43between us in terms of like the time we get to spend together
35:47hmm
35:50you know like how we are now
35:52no kids you know nothing like that
35:55but uh that decision would be harder if there was
35:58if there was
36:00other things involved
36:02yeah
36:14i lost my stuff, let's go somewhere
36:16oh thank you
36:18losing the plot
36:20are you okay?
36:21yeah
36:23they send an email out at 3pm
36:24so it'll be like getting the email at 3pm and then going back to work
36:29yeah
36:31some people will leave it and look in the evening
36:33but i feel like i just need to get it out of the way
36:44alright
36:54so i just found a little kind of slightly less public place to open my results
37:05what will be will be
37:07regardless of what the results are
37:10i know that my knowledge is
37:12at least like
37:14at least if not above
37:16the level that i need to be at
37:18yeah i just gotta tell myself that
37:20remind myself that i guess
37:21okay
37:22alright
37:28oh frick dammit
37:31damn
37:40no
37:41no
37:42no
37:46no
37:49next steps
37:51next thing to
37:53plan for and prepare for
37:55damn
37:56damn
38:11so i guess the question is how's things going?
38:14well i've had a headache for about a month
38:16you've had a headache for a month
38:18yeah
38:20and i know that's from like a sleep
38:22so how many hours do you sleep last night?
38:24six
38:26six hours?
38:27hmm
38:28is that normal for you?
38:30no i need about nine
38:31you need nine?
38:32yeah
38:33so why are we three hours under?
38:34i have that thing where you think about a patient you see in
38:36i don't know if that happens to you but that happens to me all the time
38:39and then i'll consciously be like okay i'm going to think of something else
38:41so it's like the three o'clock in the morning negative thought spirals and you can't break it?
38:46yeah
38:47yeah
38:48what are you doing to recharge your batteries which doesn't involve work?
38:55you're not going to like the answer nothing
38:58i know
39:00exercise any exercise?
39:01no
39:02walking?
39:03no
39:04and have you got any pals to hang out with who aren't doctors?
39:07no
39:09i don't mind that though
39:10okay
39:11we don't really talk about medicine
39:13you know who i am getting along with really well?
39:14my new buddy dylan
39:16okay
39:17just work out what your support system is
39:19hmm
39:20when you work in a centre and you see things that nobody else is experiencing
39:26and you have all these crazy emergencies
39:32you all have to kind of come together at the end of that
39:36awww
39:37hello hello hello
39:38who's bringing all the chill vibes?
39:40i think it's dylan
39:42i think dylan's the good omen
39:44you've got four on your lap
39:45yeah i
39:47that's why there's such closeness there
39:48everyone leans on each other
39:49and
39:51you just kind of get addicted
39:52and you become part of the furniture
39:57leave me a minute more
39:58people could turn
39:59help me
40:02come on
40:0338 year old female
40:08um
40:09yeah
40:10i had to make the decision of going back to wellington
40:14awww
40:15which wasn't an easy decision
40:18aww monsieur
40:26i have a two and a half year old Monty
40:28um and my partner Hunter
40:30being a really big hospital
40:33um it's really hard to finish on time
40:36you know you just never see them
40:38i'll just look at this one
40:43i'll definitely miss working with Shannon
40:45oh yeah
40:46all those hard times that you have to deal with
40:48kind of creates you know a close bond
40:50a close bond
40:53she's lost her baby and she's bleeding
40:55yeah but she's bleeding a lot
40:57oh that's so sad
40:58no
40:59thank you
41:01no
41:04no
41:06no
41:09no
41:10no
41:11no
41:12no
41:13no
41:14no
41:15no
41:16no
41:17no
41:18no
41:19no
41:20So what was happening today?
41:23She wasn't alright, so I just bring her baby.
41:26Yeah.
41:27And I understand that you've had three miscarriages?
41:30Yeah.
41:31So you definitely did the right thing by coming to hospital because of the heavy bleeding.
41:38We'll just get the scanning machine so we can have a look,
41:41and then that way we can see if there's any tissue left inside the womb,
41:44and then try and remove it.
41:46That should hopefully settle the bleeding and also settle the pain.
41:52In order to cope, you need to have support.
41:57I don't have any connections anywhere else.
42:00Here I'm talking about how important this family is,
42:03and seeing them in the evenings,
42:05just all the things I don't talk about because I'm on my own so much.
42:09Yeah, it did make me think how much I miss out on
42:13because I don't have any family time really ever.
42:16And I almost use that as a way to cope with the errors
42:20because I've no one to go home to anyway.
42:23Oh, Dylan's out of here, Sam.
42:26Oh, you poor little sausage.
42:29You sound like me, ma'am.
42:30I know, but it is hard.
42:32I know how hard it is because all my family is still over there.
42:35I know.
42:36So it is hard when you're over here and you've got no family support,
42:40especially when you've got a high-pressure job, you're studying.
42:43It was fine when Bradley was here because,
42:45although I didn't have my mam or my family,
42:48he was a really good distraction.
42:50Now I go home to an empty house and just the books.
42:53It's a bit miserable, to be honest.
42:55Oh, me little pal.
42:57Thanks for looking after me.
42:58That's all right.
42:59I then questioned, why am I here?
43:06Can I do it?
43:10It really makes you look at your own life.
43:12I thought the doctors were like superheroes.
43:19But we're just normal people.
43:22Step up, take it on.
43:25No turning from the storm.
43:29It's time now for us to come.
43:35We can be heroes.
43:41We can be heroes.
43:51We can be heroes.
44:04All right, blood pressure's coming back out.
44:06We're getting wild.
44:07I'm sweating this out.
44:08To CPR on a human being.
44:13I like it.
44:14Every time I have to give that bad news,
44:16I always struggle.
44:17You are actually actively having a small stroke right now, okay?
44:23Right, go for gold.
44:24I have not done that amount of laparoscopic surgery ever.
44:28All right, last one I can do this.
44:30Friday, go for it and get up to the right, yes.
44:33Tomorrow would be good to wear this, us as well.
44:34It's all right.
44:35Thank you guys for watching, and
44:36shall we try and
44:44get out to date.
44:45A bit of story about freezing
44:50but also forty-firstSil ì´ˆ.
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