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Diary of a Junior Doctor Season 1 Episode 4
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00:00I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm completely throwing myself in the deep end.
00:14There's no better place to work than in the trenches at Middlemore Hospital. What have we
00:19got coming in? It's a beautiful place to be but also like quite a terrifying place to be.
00:25There's life and death every day. Will I walk again? It's too soon to be answering that question, okay?
00:31You're getting a contraction? Go for it. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:35Five, four. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. It feels a bit daunting. It feels quite scary actually.
00:42Are we happy on dosage? Time is of the essence and it matters so you have to come up with something
00:49now. You have to think on your feet. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.
00:55That's really scary to me and so it should be because it's a massive mental responsibility.
01:00There's no room for any mistakes.
01:06I need the CPR to be faster, please. Stand up, stand up.
01:10You are having a stroke right now. We needed to resuscitate you.
01:13Oh my god. You do become obsessed with getting it right all the time.
01:17That's what I feel like burnout feels like.
01:24What enables you to keep doing such an unusual job is not always the passion of medicine.
01:38It's actually the people behind you.
01:40Go, go, go, go. All the way, all the way, all the way, all the way.
01:45I can be a medicine. I can be a medicine. I can be a medicine. I can be a medicine.
02:02Knock, knock. Hello. I'm Farsi, one of the emergency doctors.
02:08What they often say is that once you've worked in Middlemore Hospital, you can work anywhere else.
02:13That's not bad for a first go.
02:15I just want to prove to myself that I can be work focused but also be very involved with my personal life.
02:23I like routine and if anything deviates from that routine then I feel a bit flustered.
02:29How are you going, Cantla?
02:31When she fell, she cracked something here and here in her toe.
02:37It's not getting better anymore.
02:39I'm sorry to interrupt but you are needed in recess four.
02:43Okay, sure.
02:45I will come back.
02:46Yeah, okay.
02:47So I actually don't know what's going on in there but is there pre-hospital cardiac arrest?
02:53Yeah, he arrested again.
02:59He's going to need adrenaline or isoprenaline.
03:01No pulse?
03:02I can't feel a radial on this side.
03:03I got nothing.
03:04Why don't we start chest compressions?
03:06Here, come on.
03:07No, I'm just going to restart the clock.
03:10We'll start this at 10.
03:12Change your mind.
03:13Cut it off?
03:14Cut it off?
03:15Yes.
03:16Cut it off.
03:17Cut it off.
03:18Cut it off.
03:19Cut it off.
03:20Cut it off.
03:21Cut it off.
03:22Cut it off.
03:23Cut it off.
03:24Cut it off.
03:25Cut it off.
03:26Cut it off.
03:27Cut it off.
03:28Cut it off.
03:29Cut it off.
03:30How are you going?
03:31Can I see you tired?
03:32No, I'm fine.
03:34Have you got anyone to do CPR after him?
03:36Yeah.
03:37Five.
03:38Four.
03:39Three.
03:40Two.
03:41One.
03:42Now.
03:43I'm just going to give him another dose of adrenaline.
03:45He's adrenaline responsive, right?
03:46Yeah.
03:47So if he's adrenaline responsive, we go until he's not.
03:49It's a rhythm change, yeah?
03:50Okay, stop.
03:51Stop.
03:52Sophie, you have a pulse there.
03:53Yeah, I've got a pulse.
03:54Yeah.
03:55We've got a falling blood pressure again.
03:56We're getting wild swings, aren't we?
03:57He's really slowing down a bunch.
03:59Drenaline's not really working.
04:00We're just overshooting, undershooting, overshooting.
04:02This K has come up to 3.8.
04:04Full blood count, which is basically normal.
04:06Blood pressure's coming back up.
04:08Everything else is pretty good.
04:10Wow.
04:11230.
04:12Want to shock him?
04:13Have we got some heads?
04:14Hands are on.
04:15We're shocking synchronized.
04:16Wait, wait, wait.
04:17It's slowing down.
04:18Stop.
04:19Stop.
04:20Stop.
04:21Stop.
04:22Can someone check for a pulse?
04:23He's got a pulse.
04:24He's got a pulse.
04:25He's got a pulse.
04:26So we got him back.
04:28Okay.
04:29Come on.
04:30Some good CPR?
04:31Oh, thank you.
04:32All right.
04:33Run away.
04:34Come back.
04:35Chat with me.
04:36All right.
04:37Sounds good.
04:38I've done CPR only in simulations.
04:41I've never had to CPR on a human being.
04:57Part of getting thrown into a situation like that is trying to stay calm and collected,
05:05not feeling flustered.
05:08And I think I did feel flustered.
05:10For me, it was kind of like trying to take in everything that was going on all at once.
05:16But as soon as I got given the role of doing CPR and assisting with that, then I kind of figured out,
05:23okay, this is what I'll do, and I'll just focus on this.
05:27He kept coming in and out of having a pulse, not having a pulse.
05:31So we're still trying to figure out what's happening.
05:35Treatments will only increase the chance of survival.
05:38Can we get in some more dream home again?
05:41Coming to you there with a 63-year-old male,
05:45cancer of acute dysphagia at 12.30 whilst at work,
05:48currently GC at 13.
05:50We're with you in five minutes.
05:52They said seizure, right?
05:53Yeah.
05:54With a seizure, I'm always worried it could be a stroke.
05:59As a 17-year-old, I was rushed to the emergency department.
06:03I'd had a stroke, and those doctors, they saved my life.
06:07As soon as someone has a stroke, I'm really careful with every moment.
06:11With strokes, the more patients like that you see, the more experienced you are,
06:15you can be confident that you've done the right thing.
06:17All right. My patients need me.
06:22For me, it's about appreciating life and having a respect for death.
06:30Hello.
06:31Hello.
06:32Welcome.
06:34Uh, so this is David.
06:36He's had an episode at work where his right leg has started giving way,
06:40and then his speech has gone very abnormal.
06:42Has been able to get words out, but the thought has been there,
06:46and then the three-quarters of the words he's trying to say are coming out.
06:50Uh, but the rest of the obs are all normal.
06:52He's now talking quite well.
06:54So you think you're completely back to normal now?
06:57Um, yeah, I think so.
06:59All right.
07:00We can probably step you across if we're happy.
07:02Just have a seat there, mate.
07:03It's walking pretty good.
07:04Yeah.
07:05It's critical to make an early diagnosis while there's an intervention before it's too late.
07:10No chest pain, no back pain?
07:12No.
07:13No.
07:14There's no pain whatsoever in the chest.
07:16I'll just check over him again.
07:18Okay.
07:19How many fingers am I holding?
07:20If you look straight ahead, how many?
07:21Three.
07:22Okay.
07:23And then now?
07:24Two.
07:25You see that?
07:26Yep.
07:27Yep.
07:28So when you look around the room, nothing's missing?
07:30No.
07:31Pull in.
07:32Good.
07:33Nice.
07:34Really strong.
07:35Push out.
07:36Yep.
07:37Pull in.
07:38So far we think that it might be a mini stroke, which means your symptoms have resolved.
07:42But our scan will look at why this has occurred and is there anything else going on in the
07:46brain?
07:47Okay, so that's really what we're trying to work out.
07:49If you do the wrong scan, you can miss something that's quite significant.
07:53So it's always kind of an anxiety that I have and everyone has as doctors when it comes to stroke.
08:04The main concern is the bleed can just get bigger.
08:07You can have further bleeding.
08:08And once it starts compressing structures and compressing the brain stem, it's a very
08:12rapid death.
08:17So, no evidence of a stroke on that one.
08:20Okay, David, so there's no evidence of a big stroke, so that's a good sign.
08:26But it doesn't mean that you didn't have a small stroke.
08:29Okay?
08:30So I'm just waiting for the more detailed report there.
08:33Um, which is basically the main thing we're looking at is the, um, size of your arteries
08:39supplying the brain.
08:40A bit of an unusual presentation of a stroke.
08:43You didn't have the classic facial droop, weak arm, loss of sensation.
08:48The symptoms are quite subtle.
08:50I was just wanting to clarify a few details.
08:53You had speech problems afterwards.
08:55Yeah.
08:56Probably straight away, I couldn't really probably get the letters, the words out.
09:04Okay.
09:05Just to check your speech, can you say a few things for me?
09:08Can you say British Constitution?
09:10British Constitution.
09:11Is that normal for you?
09:14No, that's probably a little bit, not quite.
09:17But it's quite subtle.
09:18Yeah.
09:19Okay.
09:20I've got to continue my detective work.
09:22I'm a bit anxious.
09:23We're missing something.
09:28So I met up with one of the midwives.
09:30She was really worried about you because she was so upset on the ward.
09:35Dylan's out of here, Sam.
09:37I had to make the decision of going back to Wellington.
09:39To hear him talking about how important his family is.
09:42Yeah, it did make me think how much I miss out on
09:46because I don't have any family time, really, ever.
09:48Now I go home to an empty house and just the books.
09:51It's a bit miserable, to be honest.
09:53Aww.
09:57The only thing that actually triggered the tears was Amanda, the charge,
10:00came in and was like...
10:01She was nice to you.
10:02Yeah, she just asked me a question.
10:04I think it was about myself or about Brad.
10:06I can't remember.
10:07And I kind of turned to her and I was like,
10:09I just can't answer that today.
10:12That was a bad week.
10:14I think it's a combination of just stepping into that role,
10:16just feeling that extra pressure, the phone ringing,
10:19getting, asking my second opinion on everything.
10:22My partner had just left and I was just like,
10:25oh, I'm going to explode.
10:27I thought I loved being on my own.
10:30Me and the cat, I was happy enough, but actually when he left,
10:33I was like, oh, this is so miserable.
10:37Come to work every day under immense amounts of pressure,
10:40go home, house is empty, no one to chat in.
10:43I'm so glad that you're able to share this,
10:45because your office is obviously a toughie and it is difficult.
10:50Can you take some extra days off?
10:52Yeah.
10:56Everyone always asks me,
10:57why do you and other junior doctors work and study so much?
11:00It's because we have to.
11:02You need to know so much.
11:04Being a junior doctor is a career that spans a decade,
11:07sometimes more,
11:08and there's just so much to learn, so much to know.
11:12OK, Shannon's going to lead the theatre brief for us today.
11:16All right, we've got three ladies on our list today.
11:18The first one we'll ideally do is a 25-year-old lady.
11:21She has a thickened endometrium abnormal uterine bleeding
11:24and has two ovarian cysts, one 10cm and one 7.
11:28Ultimately, we're a training unit,
11:30and so therefore part of it is to train doctors of the future
11:33and part of that is to make sure that Shannon is competent
11:36at doing procedures.
11:38This is about training people in a supervised manner
11:41to be able to do the surgery in years to come when I've retired.
11:46Everybody happy to start?
11:48Yes.
11:50We've got a lady who has some abnormal menstrual bleeding,
11:53so we're going to be putting, essentially,
11:55cameras and telescopes into the womb and have a look.
12:00We're doing this to rule out a cancer.
12:02Just talk me through what you're looking for.
12:06So, fundus first and then two osteos
12:09to make sure I'm actually in the uterine cavity.
12:11Yep.
12:12So, I'd expect one to be here, which there is.
12:16What do you think you're seeing?
12:18A very distorted cavity.
12:21What would be your next move?
12:23To sample it?
12:24To sample it?
12:25With surgery, it really is.
12:27Every case is very different.
12:30And every case is challenging in a different way.
12:33I think there's enough abnormality in there that we...
12:37We need to get a good sample.
12:38We need to get a good sample, okay?
12:40That's quite clearly...
12:41Very abnormal.
12:42And quite clearly we're at risk of a cancerous condition,
12:45so it's a little worrying.
12:50I'll take over in a second, okay?
12:51Yep.
12:53It looks...
12:54It looks a little unusual.
12:55Yeah.
12:57Endometrial cancer is thought to be an older woman's disease,
13:01usually seen in women over 45.
13:04But we're seeing it in women that are in their 20s.
13:09This is grossly abnormal tissue.
13:12I have quite a lot of concerns.
13:15We'll stop there.
13:16We've got enough tissue.
13:17We'll send that off.
13:19Okay?
13:20We should bring her legs down.
13:21I'll put the legs down.
13:24Fortunately, endometrial cancer, if it's caught early,
13:26is quite curable.
13:28We'll resample the lining in a few months
13:29to make sure that the cells have not gone cancerous.
13:34I love to work with women.
13:37You can really make a difference.
13:40It's usually rewarding and, like, so lucky.
13:45I actually do feel really lucky.
13:46It was basically the second we walked out,
14:00we were arrested again.
14:01Yeah.
14:02The ICU came down and they decided
14:04there had been two hours.
14:05It was probably becoming futile.
14:07Something like this is pretty unusual,
14:29where someone who's relatively healthy
14:31has sort of an unexpected death out of the blue.
14:38My suspicion is, I mean, he'll be thinking about it a lot.
14:45No, it's really tough.
14:47And, you know, even sort of an older guy like myself
14:49who's somewhat jaded and, you know,
14:51has been around the block, it still, you know, hurts.
14:54I've learned a little bit more things.
14:58Grandpa always in good health.
15:01Yeah.
15:02He, like, wasn't that old.
15:04Have you had any deaths since you were in your training so far?
15:07I've had deaths, yeah, but not active CPR.
15:11So, you know, how do you feel about this one?
15:14For me, it's kind of just taking a step back,
15:15trying to compose myself, keep myself collected.
15:17Yeah.
15:18But it's just a bunch of emotions going on all at once.
15:22In the last four shifts I've had,
15:25four people die.
15:28And, like, this is the only one that bothered me.
15:33I think it'll just take some time to figure out
15:35how I'm feeling where I'm at.
15:36In the emergency department, having to deal with life and death,
15:48I know it's part of the job,
15:50especially with those acute resuscitation scenarios.
15:54While I had experiences with patients passing away
15:57and death in general,
15:59every time that I have experienced it,
16:01it was quite difficult.
16:06The End
16:11Okay.
16:15His numbers are okay, otherwise, weren't they?
16:16They said other opposite unremarkable
16:18intimately between that 1968 and the AF?
16:21Yep.
16:23I guess he's gonna get his brain scanned, isn't he?
16:25Okay, let's have a look.
16:36Looking at this scan, he actually has a very large cloth.
16:49These things can turn nasty pretty quickly.
16:59Every time I have to give that bad news, I always struggle.
17:05It's a heavy diagnosis to give someone.
17:09Hey David, so we had a look at the scan with the radiologist.
17:14One of the small vessels appears to have a bit of an occlusion.
17:17So it is in keeping with a stroke.
17:20So you are actually actively having a small stroke right now, okay?
17:26It's quite a significant diagnosis, but so far you're medically stable.
17:30Our goal now is to prevent further damage, okay?
17:34Yeah, so we're just going to arrange a transfer of you over to Auckland.
17:36You'll probably be with them overnight.
17:38We'll give you a general anaesthetic to the procedure to remove that blood clot.
17:43Fortunately, we got the right scan in a timely manner.
17:55It led to a very important diagnosis and he got treatment that really saved his life and
18:00saved his function.
18:02And I'm happy for that.
18:03Like, it's like, you know, it's a highlight.
18:05You're like, elated.
18:08And that's a great feeling.
18:23It definitely grows an obsession with the job.
18:30It's easy to let the job take over your life.
18:49I've let that happen.
18:56I'm realising that what enables you to keep doing such an unusual job is being appreciative
19:02of the things that get you up in the morning.
19:05It's not always the passion of medicine.
19:08It's actually the people behind you.
19:10And actually maintaining those relationships is as important as becoming a very proficient
19:15doctor.
19:16I haven't seen Jordan as much.
19:29We're on different shifts.
19:32We're not living together.
19:34Oh, well.
19:37Thanks, Stephen.
19:38Well, you're saying no carbs, right?
19:42Perfect.
19:43Perfect.
19:44Like, we are all human.
19:46And I think he helps remind me of that, that there is another life outside of work.
19:55And I need to put more energy there.
19:59How's your apartment life going?
20:03It's good.
20:04You're missing me?
20:05You know, I miss having you around and hanging out.
20:06But yeah, you were kind of like my counsellor.
20:10And now I've lost my counsellor and...
20:12You could be doing the Ironman with me.
20:15It's good for your health.
20:17It'll keep your coronaries clear.
20:19Maybe if I commit to doing a half Ironman, then we'll have enforced quality time together.
20:27So, what is your understanding of what we're doing for you today?
20:34That I'm taking out my uterus and my fallopian chips.
20:39Yeah.
20:40Yep.
20:41Today, I'm hoping that I can do the whole hysterectomy.
20:45I have not done that amount of laparoscopic surgery ever.
20:49And you had endometriosis in 2015?
20:51Yes.
20:52So, if there's any in there today, we'll excise that as well and get rid of it completely.
20:57Of course.
20:58Okay.
20:59See you soon.
21:00See you.
21:02This is a pretty tricky operation.
21:03I would say it's probably one of the trickiest gynae operations to learn.
21:07A really straightforward hysterectomy laparoscopically is about two hours.
21:12With endometriosis and scar tissue, you're looking at three hours.
21:15I don't think it's going to be an easy operation.
21:20Out of six years of training, Shannon's at the lower end of the training.
21:25She's a very, most people at her level who don't even do the hysterectomy.
21:31But she is particularly quite onto it.
21:36But I hope so, her.
21:40I knew I wanted to do something in university that led me to a very set career.
21:47I grew up in Dublin with my mum on her own.
21:52It would be kind of lower socioeconomic area, quite rough.
21:57Lots of unemployment, crime.
22:01Yeah, just a lot of poverty. Just a lot of people struggling.
22:04My mum had two jobs for a lot of my life. She's such a hard worker.
22:09I definitely knew I never wanted to struggle.
22:13Because I'd seen people struggle around me my whole life.
22:16And I never wanted to have to borrow money or
22:21wondering how I'm going to pay my power bill.
22:23I knew I didn't want that.
22:25So, when I was applying for college, I had medicine as number one.
22:30I think inside, I very much had a fire and I was like, I'm going to achieve this.
22:36I'm going to get in.
22:38And it was literally just me on my bed and my books in the evening.
22:41And just like a goal and a focus.
22:43And I still feel like that.
22:45Yeah, yeah.
22:46Right, go for gold.
22:47Over there.
22:48Yeah.
22:49Oh, yeah.
22:50I can see peritone.
22:51There we go.
22:52In.
22:53Yay!
22:54I have so much to learn still, especially with gynecology surgery.
22:58Like, I'm just at the very bottom of this gigantic mountain.
23:02And that kind of keeps it exciting.
23:04So, it is a curved incision.
23:07Yeah.
23:08Okay.
23:09It's your time to shine.
23:10Time to shine.
23:11What?
23:12I was already shining.
23:13Oh, were you?
23:14Oh, there it is.
23:15Look.
23:16Beautiful.
23:17Okay.
23:18Let's start suturing.
23:23You do need to let go of the needle when you're pulling through.
23:33Oh, yeah.
23:34How many years did it take your earnest to actually be able to do this without struggling?
23:39Um, pretty say I was not in second year.
23:42I was in fourth year.
23:45So, you are way ahead of me.
23:48Well, that's good news.
23:50You want the posterior one now?
23:52Because you've done the top one.
23:54Alright, last one.
23:55I can do this.
23:56Beautiful.
23:57Nice work.
23:58Thank you, guys.
23:59Fantastic.
24:00You want to do the scan and I'll do the notes?
24:01Yeah.
24:02So, start the notes.
24:03I just need to stretch it.
24:04I did the whole thing.
24:05I'm so pleased.
24:06Yeah, I'm really good.
24:07She was very impressive.
24:08Um, it was, by and large, very well done.
24:12I wasn't even touching these instruments.
24:14She's way ahead of the curve.
24:16This is, like, top of the third chain.
24:17So, most people's ultimate goal, laparoscopically, is to be able to do a hysterectomy.
24:23So, the whole hysterectomy, I'm so happy.
24:28I can reach for the stars, I see they can't be that far.
24:41So, look at all this direct to me, I'm so happy.
24:44I can reach for the stars
24:48I see they can't be that far
24:52I know it deep in my heart
24:56I'm endeavouring
24:59It's been ages since I've gotten to do something that I've not done yet.
25:04I kind of had that feeling again like when I did my first C-section.
25:08So I was buzzing.
25:11All right, so packing-wise, I was thinking the turban here, shoes here, and then we'll close that up.
25:23And then I think we can just put the shawl over it.
25:27So that's the shawl.
25:29Flying out on Saturday to Sydney, getting ready for my wedding next week.
25:35This was from Sydney, Australia, and she's a doctor too.
25:40Because she's over there and I'm here and she's working and I'm working.
25:44A lot of our interactions were through messaging or voice calls or the occasional video chats it would have.
25:50And so I have only met her maybe a couple times in person.
25:57But we connected almost instantly.
26:00Just felt very natural.
26:02I could be myself and I don't have to put up a facade or fake who I was.
26:08We both laughed at our own jokes and she's just a funny, loving, you know, just very bubbly, outgoing type of person.
26:16And she's just super cute.
26:18I feel like that's going to get squished.
26:22You should put this and the shoes over here.
26:25And you should put this at the bottom and the shoes at the top.
26:27Are you sure?
26:28Yeah, that's what I think.
26:29What if it?
26:30And then you can like cover it as well.
26:34I guess I was nervous and shy initially and I guess I still am at times.
26:39But we definitely have really grown fond of each other.
26:43How are you feeling about the wedding?
26:47Oh, excited.
26:48Yeah.
26:49Yeah.
26:50Yeah.
26:51Yeah.
26:52Feels pretty surreal at the moment, but I'm sure it'll kick in when I touch down on Sydney.
26:57I feel like it's pretty surreal to me.
27:00Yeah.
27:01It hasn't like fully sunk in yet.
27:03Neither.
27:05Yeah.
27:06Oh, Stephen.
27:07Oh, Lou.
27:08Let's go and do this assessment, shall we?
27:10Oh, yeah, sounds great.
27:12I'm not nervous at all.
27:14Oh, yeah, that's right.
27:15You get nervous.
27:17It's my favourite time of day when I have to be assessed by one of my consultants.
27:22I've had to learn how to take negative feedback.
27:25Definitely got pretty upset in the early days and still do sometimes.
27:30As part of the training programme, we have various things that we have to get signed off.
27:35And this is one of the things.
27:36So the lady who's come in with an unexpected pregnancy and we're just trying to rule out that
27:41there's no emergency component to that given that she's having pain.
27:45To grow, you need feedback.
27:47And although it's not nice getting the feedback, it's really important part of your training.
27:52The nerd in me does always liken it to Star Wars and the apprentice versus, you know, the
27:58master, like the Padawan versus the kind of master Jedi.
28:02Hey, Amberlee.
28:03Hi.
28:04So my name's Lou.
28:05I'm one of the more senior doctors.
28:06And all I'm doing is I'm going to stand in the corner and just watch him doing this ultrasound.
28:11So I will be quiet.
28:12I'll just be in the corner.
28:14Um, so the scan is because you've surprised us all on your pregnancy today.
28:19Um, and then also you said you've had two weeks of pain in the belly and you're also bleeding
28:23quite a bit.
28:24Um, and your blood test confirmed the pregnancy.
28:29Um, and so the scan really is, we think that, uh, I'm sorry to say it, we think that you're
28:35having a miscarriage.
28:37I know it's like a surprise, but still, you know?
28:43Yeah.
28:44It's just sad, really.
28:46One of the emergencies we have is sometimes the pregnancy is not actually where it should
28:51be.
28:52It's just completely outside of the uterus.
28:54Um, and it's somewhere where it could become life threatening really quickly.
28:57And so we do worry about that.
28:59Because of the vast field of medicine and how complex it is, you get humbled.
29:05Um, other than ridge rip shadow, I don't see any evidence of anechoic parts.
29:11So nothing concerning for fluid.
29:13You are trying to learn more and more.
29:16It's a harsh reality when you realise that you're only just breaking the surface or only
29:21just starting to climb that mountain actually.
29:24So, so far everything's good, alright?
29:26It's looking very good.
29:28Do you want to take a breath in, please?
29:32Alright.
29:33What we're saying there is there's no, like, um, real bad emergency thing there.
29:37So there's no blood in the pelvis.
29:39Um, our suspicion being that, um, sadly that you did probably have a miscarriage without
29:43realising it okay.
29:44Mhm.
29:45Appreciate that's difficult news.
29:48You feeling okay?
29:52Yeah, it's just, like, unexpected.
29:53That's all.
29:54You know?
29:55Sad, but it is what it is.
30:05Um, we'll settle your pain with pain relief.
30:07Um, and then, uh, the plan will be we'll admit you under our women's health team.
30:13Um, our goal is just to make you as comfortable as possible and just help with the bleeding
30:16and the pain.
30:17Mhm.
30:18So just, uh, don't feel afraid to shout out if you're feeling unwell.
30:21No worries.
30:23Alright, thank you.
30:25I thought you were very sensitive to the situation.
30:31And, and it was hard, wasn't it?
30:33Because you actually had to communicate bad news.
30:35Mhm.
30:36Yeah, I feel like it never gets easier telling people that news, but, yeah.
30:40No, but.
30:41Hopefully our wording gets kind of better each time.
30:43I think it was good and, yeah, I felt you did that really well, actually.
30:46And it was very clear and you were lovely with the patient and, yeah.
30:51I don't have any negative feedback for you.
30:53Cool.
30:54At all.
30:55So it's a pass.
30:56Hallelujah.
30:57Well, it's a spectrum.
30:59These are all spectrums.
31:00Spectrums.
31:01But you can't possibly expect to do all of these perfectly the first time.
31:04Perfectly the first time.
31:05Yeah.
31:06Although you, because you being you, probably do.
31:07But.
31:11I think if you just allow yourself to be an apprentice, it can be quite enjoyable.
31:15Like, if you just allow yourself to grow, um, and just let go of that desire to know it all.
31:22Like, just enjoy the process.
31:26Every run, I kind of just look back at it and I'm like, wow, did that all just really happen?
31:34You don't really notice your growth while you go through it.
31:49But then once you finish the run, you look back and you feel like you have grown.
31:55I'm like, wow.
31:58Medicine is a lifelong journey.
32:01It's always a mountain.
32:02Big sprint.
32:03Come on back.
32:04Ready?
32:05One, two, come on.
32:06Go.
32:07Go.
32:08Go.
32:09Go.
32:10All the way.
32:11All the way.
32:12All the way.
32:13All right.
32:1420 burpees.
32:15I think I always need the challenge for me to kind of enjoy my life.
32:18It's a hill to climb than the friends to climb with me.
32:22All right, big boy.
32:23You need me to resource you?
32:27Hands on the chest.
32:28How'd you find that?
32:30Come on.
32:31Feel alive, huh?
32:34Are you okay?
32:35No.
32:36Are you actually okay?
32:37No.
32:38Okay.
32:39That was the whole time I was thinking, I was like, why do I agree to this?
32:41My friend, this is now or never.
32:53I'm having a real, what do I call it, existential crisis? Exitional crisis.
33:02Because I just realized, like, most of my twenties are done.
33:06And I have not done anything but work.
33:09I don't know myself outside of this.
33:12And that idea of being 30 creeping up on me, I just feel like I'm missing out on so much.
33:18I just have, like, massive life FOMO.
33:22I just need some time to do something else.
33:27And that's not working and it's not studying and it's not doing research.
33:31And I want to go spend some time with Brad and keep him company in Paris and just have some fun and just take a break.
33:39Yeah, I'm just going to put my training on hold for six months.
33:42I want to do it now before I'm too deep into my career.
33:47So I think it's now or never.
33:49Next up, erm, a life.
33:51Yeah, I've got six months.
33:53I get giggly like a little child when I think about it.
33:55I know.
33:57I left you thinking about it the other day.
33:59It's going to be so good.
34:01Whoop.
34:03Are you coming over in July?
34:04Yep.
34:05I actually can't wait.
34:06I'm going to be a new woman.
34:08You don't have to start practicing your preach.
34:10I just need some stuff to, like, learn.
34:12No, I can't.
34:13Don't give me any more pressures.
34:15I've literally had do medical skill, getting the job I wanted as a first year, doing that exam I did in Ireland.
34:22I've literally had do medical skill, getting the job I wanted as a first year, doing that exam I did in Ireland.
34:34Coming to New Zealand, trying to get on to training, getting on to training, starting in Middlemore, now doing this exam.
34:42I just want to do nothing.
34:43Yeah.
34:44You can just make a list of all the things that are enjoyable and then we'll do them.
34:47Yeah.
34:48Or maybe we can get those bikes where the two of us cycle at the same time.
34:52And then we'll go on a nice holiday.
34:54Yeah.
34:55See you soon.
34:57Love you.
34:58See ya.
34:59Bye.
35:00Sleep well, bye.
35:01My supervisor, Doug, wasn't right.
35:05You always need to have something to look forward to.
35:08Shannon, we'll go see her first.
35:09Is that all right?
35:10Yep.
35:12Hi, Jashara.
35:13Is it okay if we all come in?
35:14You feeling okay this morning?
35:15Yeah.
35:16On your script, we'll put pain relief, anti-nausea, just in case.
35:20Okay.
35:21Cool.
35:22Next one.
35:23Hello.
35:24Hi, Jen.
35:25You look like a different woman to yesterday.
35:27Oh, my goodness.
35:28Oh, my goodness.
35:30Hello.
35:31How are you going?
35:32I'm 40 plus 5.
35:33Yep.
35:34Did you pack your bags?
35:35Yeah.
35:36Good.
35:38I'll be back.
35:39See you later.
35:40I definitely want to come back.
35:41I love this job.
35:42I want to do this job.
35:43And I think I'll come back and I'll probably be much more refreshed.
35:47And just, I'll be a better person and doctor if I do it.
35:51Time out, everybody.
35:52On the table, we have Josephine at center for a cesarean section today.
35:55We have a breech baby.
35:56Yep.
35:57And we've had antibiotics.
35:58Good doctor then.
35:59Cool.
36:00Everybody's happy?
36:01Yes.
36:02I'll do a pre-stretch.
36:06Okay.
36:07Starting.
36:11Sometimes, you know, people say to me, God, you look so young to be doing my C-section.
36:15And I'm like, yeah, I feel it sometimes.
36:18I feel, what the heck?
36:20How have I gotten here?
36:21I still feel like that 22-year-old that just started.
36:24It's just gone so quick.
36:26Tissue scissors, please.
36:28So much has happened.
36:30I have kind of chosen the, like, difficult route.
36:34But I think I do actually enjoy challenging myself, to be honest.
36:38I think it kind of keeps it interesting.
36:41Big stretch, darling.
36:43Good job.
36:44You want to expand these a bit?
36:45Yes, please.
36:46I'll have the knife again.
36:47Get in there.
36:48Come on.
36:49I think baby's moving.
36:50Every baby is different.
36:51Every situation's different.
36:54Every instrumental delivery feels different.
36:57Hold the chest.
36:58Very good.
36:59Let's hold the other chest.
37:01Thank you, baby.
37:02You still get the, when the baby comes out?
37:06Hello?
37:07Woo-hoo!
37:08Okay.
37:09Hi.
37:10Wipey wifey.
37:11Come on.
37:13This is a great job.
37:15This is what I want to do.
37:16Come with me, girl.
37:18I know.
37:19I have to give you back now.
37:23Can I have another clam for the placenta, please?
37:24Everything's going super well.
37:25Okay.
37:26Yeah?
37:27Hi.
37:28I'm trying to figure out where she is.
37:29Aww.
37:30Is that all the family on the phone?
37:31Yeah.
37:32That's so nice.
37:33I don't know if I would say I'm meant for it, but then again, I don't know what else I
37:46would do.
37:47So, I must be, and I'm not too bad at it.
37:52I'll keep rolling with it for as long as they'll have me.
37:57Happy?
37:58It all went really well.
38:00Couldn't have went better.
38:02My mom loves to go see mediums.
38:04Yeah.
38:05She used to love a good fortune teller.
38:07I think it might be an Irish thing.
38:09But I was at a crossroads of whatever I would do.
38:12And she said to me that, after she went to a psychic, they said to her that your daughter
38:20is doing something medical and she will be surrounded by babies for all her life.
38:24Guys, I went to go visit the lady I did the British Caesar run with you.
38:29And then we were like, can we take a picture of me with the baby?
38:31Like, is that okay?
38:32And they were like, yeah, go for it.
38:33Look.
38:34Aw.
38:35Aw.
38:36Wow.
38:37Nice.
38:38I remember telling people that was like part of the decision making.
38:50The psychic said I was going to do it and then it would be great.
38:53So therefore, that's what I'm doing.
38:55It's locked in.
38:56This thing they catch you when you fall.
39:00We're all brave enough.
39:02All brave enough.
39:03Hey.
39:04Take it all and think it out.
39:08And if your side us can be.
39:13How do you eat your body?
39:17How do you eat your body?
39:18Hi Farsi, do you want to pick a patient and wander out to the waiting room?
39:46Seb, have you been playing rugby?
39:56Yeah, I caught an elbow to the head.
39:59Oh yeah.
40:06Oh, it's a seizure again.
40:08The hardest thing about the emergency department is there's that uncertainty to it.
40:13You just don't know who's going to walk through the door.
40:16The turnover rate is very high and you're dealing with a broad range of different presentations.
40:21A bit wobbly, eh?
40:23You seem quite unsteady there, don't you?
40:25Yeah.
40:26And you rule out any severe, life-threatening pauses.
40:30From what you're describing, it doesn't really sound like a heart attack.
40:33It's quite hectic, non-stop churning through patients.
40:37I just find it really tough.
40:39It's not, it's like, yeah, not sustainable for my lifestyle.
40:45It's anti-social.
40:46Do you know, I like won't see my flatmates for a week.
40:49Yeah, it's rough.
40:50We're literally living together and I never see them.
40:52Yeah, it's rough.
40:53It's very socially isolating.
40:54Barsi.
40:55We're just going to chat.
40:57It's kind of my role to make sure the junior doctors are happy.
41:04Some of them are a bit overwhelmed.
41:07He's hit a bit on his plate.
41:09You know, I think the scary thing is that someone comes in with a relatively benign presentation
41:14and sometimes it turns out to be quite serious and concerning
41:18and it's a bit daunting, you know?
41:21Yeah.
41:22And it's overwhelming sometimes too.
41:24I think that can be hard.
41:25But I think more so in the fact that, you know, the hours can be pretty gruesome
41:29and then you have to try and juggle a lot of your work and your life at the same time.
41:33I don't think it's something that I would want to continue in the long term.
41:37Yeah, it is a struggle.
41:38Some people think, oh, I think I'd like to do ED.
41:40Do three months and go, I can't hack this.
41:42It's just the night, then the, yeah, it's all over the shop.
41:45You've got to be all.
41:46Yeah, yeah.
41:47I can understand some of the junior doctors.
41:51Some of the junior doctors have said to me, this is really dreadful.
41:54Sometimes we have to prop up or put things in place for them,
41:57maybe reduce their hours for a little while or even just getting leave.
42:02Yeah.
42:03I've got two weeks off.
42:04I'm getting married.
42:05Oh, amazing.
42:07Oh yeah, that's the priority.
42:08The priority is.
42:09Yeah.
42:10One of the reasons I got into medicine was that there's just such a diverse range of specialties
42:17out there and you have the luxury of just choosing what you want to do.
42:24That's the great thing about medicine is that there can be a place for everyone.
42:31Where do we go from here?
42:32I just hope I can find the right place for me.
42:38Where do we go?
42:39Where do we go?
42:40Where do we go from here?
42:41I just hope I can find the right place for me.
42:45Where do we go from here?
42:46I just hope I can find the right place for me.
42:47I just hope I can find the right place for me.
42:48I just hope I can find the right place for me.
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