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( NEW LOVE ) Beyond the Limits of Love Season 1 Episode 4
Beyond the Limits of Love Season 1 Episode 4
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Beyond the Limits of Love Season 1 Episode 4
#PrimeUSTV
🎞 Please join
https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh my god, oh my god, I can't believe you're doing this, I could never, my nipples are like, don't hear and talk of me, look at them, look at those nipples, no, I'm not looking, you're gonna have to stare at my nipple, when it's happening, hey guys, hello, hello, I'm ready, coming into this experience, I couldn't make a decision on whether I was ready
00:29for marriage with Lexi, Lexi was upset that Vanessa and I chose each other, Vanessa has like this freeness to her that I don't see in myself, she's the kind of person that I think goes for things that make her happy, regardless of like what the world thinks, Lexi has a very specific vision of what a marriage looks like, I'm still undecided, is this a vision that I want for myself, I'm still trying to figure out what's right for me, and what's making me happy, so often when I take myself off in front of a man,
00:59here we are, Ray is nervous for me, I can feel your nervous energy, she's like, holy shit, are you gonna tell me like when you're running for a girl?
01:09Yeah, no, I just, I just went, oh I know, I'm just scared, I'm just realizing that I've done this to myself, okay, okay, holy shit, ah, ah, that was insanely painful,
01:24that's my fucking simple, my hand is so sweaty, my hand is so sweaty, you're gonna do the other side, right?
01:34Yeah, yeah, switch sides, holy fucking shit, oh my god, thank you, one, two, three, and
01:43that one was quicker holy good job you're done you did it do you want the picture now yes i'm
01:56taking a selfie with my nipples oh lexi's gonna love that picture that one's for her
02:03yeah what do you think sandra's gonna think she hasn't seen me in a while
02:08this was step one of me redefining who i am by myself potentially without sandra
02:14shall we continue our night do something fun and i'm gonna just keep flashing you my titties
02:21all night all right yeah let's go yeah let's go take these nipples out yes and then you flash me
02:27yours and we're both the ones who like issued the ultimatum right it's been really cool to like
02:42kind of have a fresh start with someone who has similar values to me it's very different i don't
02:47want to have to fucking keep telling my partner to like clean up after themselves like that i'm like
02:54i don't want that mother child dynamic right and you literally without any kind of stress or anxiety
03:00like just like do it i enjoy very much being that support system and you're sweet and not bad to look
03:08at like it's like and we have a good time so i'm just like oh okay i thought that i had things figured
03:16out and like now i'm just like now i'm not sure where i'm at i'm not sure
03:21i guess like how sure i was before it's stressful you know
03:26the past few years with vanessa stresses me out do i need to reevaluate that i'm
03:33going to be married to someone that i came here with or like the things that i'm seeing in you and
03:39that we have like if that's what i need instead you really do want the best for me and i think that
03:45you vocalized and showed me that like right away you are special
03:52she sips
04:00i don't iron anything really you don't iron anything no i have to do a lot of ironing
04:27i don't know if it's because i'm lazy or i just don't care no it's been about a week i've been
04:32living with aussie and i feel so extremely like i don't know how to say it i don't know i don't have
04:39the words but i just felt like 200 pounds just got off my like back because it feels good it feels
04:47nice it feels homey it feels like i have a lot of comfort and but tiff i didn't have that i wanted
04:53it so so much and then it just happened today was such a good day oh yeah i was getting moments
04:59of like you're making me think about all this stuff marriage and about like what we're doing you know i was just
05:05like whoa i had that moment too i was like hey i'm experiencing new things
05:12i know this is something that for you was like a little maybe a little scary a little new a little
05:19like cut you off guard yeah but you're amazing oh yeah that's sweet i think okay there's potential
05:29here for in a long-term commitment so that's why it's super important to you know get you to meet
05:36my best friend yeah yeah i'm excited aussie's so wonderful and very supportive so i'm happy that
05:45i'm doing this journey with aussie i just can't wait for the next two weeks to see how much more fun
05:50we're gonna have look at her she still hasn't like moved like she's just stretched out even more
05:56zoe are you gonna let us lay on the bed hello not yet
06:01hello she don't care no
06:05it's really cool to see like we were cuddling the very first night that was super easy
06:18like grabbing your hand or touching your hair or something like that i know you mentioned
06:22with yoli building the friend foundation was really important to you it's interesting with you some of my
06:27rules bend a little so i guess they weren't rules as much as i thought they were
06:31i feel like you came in here with the most specific timeline are you worried about like what it would
06:38mean to get married to somebody like could your timeline change i think i could just be more sure
06:43sooner how much sooner like six months a year
06:49you helped me realize that we could be engaged and we can build the things that we want together
06:57and i don't have to show up like everything to take care of you we can do this together
07:01yeah so the timeline it completely like changes
07:03so i didn't just change your timeline i revolutionized my whole world
07:08like should we leave this thing engaged oh so you think there's a chance that you could leave
07:13and we could be engaged sure you do have like good intuition like you can trust yourself i think so
07:20i'm starting to understand that more right
07:23did you get a lot of sleep yes i did i just remember you saying i'm going to the dog park
07:45and then the door closed and then that's off
07:48can i be honest with you yeah on the dog situation that's going on right now yeah well i slept on
07:57the couch with the dog last night and i feel like i'm compromising by not kind of even putting
08:08you in a situation where you have to deal with my dog on the bed you know with mildred she's always
08:17been afraid of dogs her entire life and she was like look i know she's a big part of you like that's
08:24your baby so i'm going to figure out a way to make this work yeah well and i also think it's different
08:30because i'm not mildred and i think the line is getting blurred i've never said like no the dog
08:38cannot do this or that i've never said yeah i know i know that i know they've never said that but
08:41i also feel like this is a trial of marriage yeah um and shiloh is non-negotiable
08:48okay so i'm put in a tough position too because that's your non-negotiable but then i also have to
09:11take care of myself too and make sure that i'm not just like lying to you and just bottling things up
09:16saying like oh yeah let's just do it and then i'm just like suffering i see the lack of with all
09:25due respect the lack of giving a shit about the dog and i don't want anyone to be around my dog that
09:31doesn't give a shit like i just don't i want someone to be around my dog who is 12 years old
09:35to be around someone who cares because at the end of the day that's what she deserves that's my child
09:41that's what i'm gonna do i'm just not meeting your expectations of how you want me to act towards
09:49you but like i am that nurturing loving person with animals i find that very hard to believe
09:57i feel like i've been put in a really difficult situation
10:02and it almost feels like this dog is a lot more important to them than any relationship
10:10in their life and i can't help that she doesn't want to hear what i have to say
10:14i cannot be the person that you want me to be and i cannot feel bad about that
10:21i'm asking you to act like you care about my dog like it's not that hard i want eight hearts
10:29what the fuck am i gonna do i don't care if you have the most gorgeous face the most gorgeous body the
10:36most gorgeous personality and the most supportive system if you don't like my dog you can get the
10:41fuck out
11:02good morning
11:11good morning
11:14it's just so nice you know what i mean this yeah i know it's flying by it really is can we
11:22request another week like there's just like so much more that i want to do
11:30you have your glasses kiss ready
11:32if our real marriage were anything like the trial marriage i'd be pretty happy i don't love my ex any
11:52less i mean it's just conflicting it's like oh shit i think i like really really really like sander and
11:58what we have going on too hold this yes
12:05now we're talking oh emotional
12:12things are so great and so awesome and so seamless and i wish we could take
12:16us and see how we deal with like sex
12:21i feel like everything else fits so well and so like seamlessly i'm like what if that just like sucked
12:26well i mean a long sip we gotta i guess we gotta figure this out so i mean i i want to i think it just
12:36i think it just is like the natural progression
12:43i feel like you're looking at me
12:46the eyes are going
12:47do we have time to work out what kind of workout are you trying to do well you know the work i
12:55were trying to do but oh my god i fell down hug me oh this is a setup you are so you're not falling for it
13:16oh my god i'm so excited to meet your friend and you know what she doesn't know anything
13:27she's gonna be like where is sam what is happening
13:29i'm so happy you i wouldn't make it i know so what what is all this
13:47oh my god your guys's life is so contagious i'll see this is like a whole another different side of
13:56you i know i told you oh you have to see
14:02where did mildred come from i know that's what i'm still wondering
14:07so i was giving the old tomato by sam like she's ready for marriage and now we're going through this
14:14experience to figure out like mildred is more compatible with me okay so now we've moved in
14:19wait you guys are living together we're living together i know we should get a drink
14:26that'd be so cool if you switch spots so i could you know get to know you guys as a couple
14:30oh my purse i'm just kidding for sure i'll move this over here
14:35ah damn now we're in the hot seat yeah you guys sleep in the same bed you guys do too
14:41oh my god oh my god wow you have a slippery mouth you know no i'm just asking we have nightmares
14:48and we snore what else do you want to know all right ladies food
14:55so how did she give the ultimatum i'm like yeah like you guys have a talk or what we have a talk
15:01and then it kind of goes like this are you gonna marry me like are we gonna be together is this gonna
15:06move forward or you're just blocking traffic at this point that's what i said to my partner
15:11for lack of a better term what's your rush i don't have a rush i'm a single mom you know um i've
15:18always been like independent and i'm like i want to be with somebody and i want to know that the person
15:25that i'm with is the right person i i didn't get it i was like why why this like why the rush so like
15:30she's been with sam for two years and she didn't want like marriage but then like we went on three
15:34dates the third day you were like i want marriage i was like i was like i need to change my list
15:40i know your ass you do i mean you were you had issues with commitment and
15:45shit yeah all of a sudden you're ready
15:52what do you think marriage is supposed to be about you're stuck with someone forever and i'm not my not
15:57oh that's my fear i have a fear of it being with someone forever that thought is scary i mean what
16:11do you think it would be that's why i'm like i don't know there's a block to hear you say that
16:18it just makes me feel very emotional sorry it triggers me because nazi said to me on our third
16:23date i want i do want to commit and to be married after this it's very confusing and i'm not
16:29understanding why i'm the good kind of a bad girl working in my heels kind of bad girl blood sweat and
16:42tears kind of bad girl really to the real kind of bad girl not afraid to cry if i have to i can make
16:51change your mind if i have to wear my heart out and sleep like a tattoo when i walk in the room
16:57they already know who so after we argued i noticed that yeah we needed time to cool off a little bit
17:07right let me ask you something was
17:11the way i was communicating with you where it got to the point where i was like
17:16tearing up raising my voice did that really hurt you
17:25i feel like sometimes like my past partners like aussie have so many like wounds and traumas and
17:34triggers that they haven't worked through yet that i don't always get to the point where i get to
17:39have the conversation after so i really really want us to have the stuff come up that we need to work
17:47on i really appreciate hearing that because that feels like you're on the same team as me despite us
17:56disagreeing on something right you know i really like that i can already feel that we can move forward
18:04i don't know do you see what i'm saying we're in control rather than like our emotions and our
18:10past and all of that being in control during our argument i was feeling really out of my body i would
18:18think i was going back into the same old patterns in order for me to be a better person either for sam
18:22for my ex or either for someone new i have to lean into love i'm just glad
18:30that regardless of ups and downs that i kind of have this experience with you
18:46my fans are soaked this looks like the perfect beach picnic spot i am out of breath wow you are very
19:11very very pathetic such an athlete
19:20i'm starting to wonder maybe i don't need someone else's opinion maybe i can just trust
19:26myself taking more time to like make a decision on my own and then come in and have a conversation
19:33and be like well this is where i'm at monogamous relationships feel stagnant to me yeah for sure
19:40i have no idea if i'd want another relationship or just a hookup or if it could be with my partner
19:46like i i don't fully know and i don't know how to appropriately explore that knowing how big this
19:53world is and knowing how many wonderful humans there are to connect with if i limit myself to just
19:59connecting with one person to that extreme degree of like love and marriage and everythingness
20:06i wonder if i'm always going to miss out it feels a bit selfish for me to say that so
20:17i don't know okay um i do like to face my fears yeah
20:23i'm gonna get in the water okay have fun are you coming with me watch your body into the water with me i'll hang
20:36out it's cold i'm gonna feel very naked if you're not there with me
20:40how did i know you were gonna do this how you just gotta live with no ceilings you just gotta dance
20:49with the fire every time it's so cold
20:54i'm gonna get in the water all right okay i'll do it for real so don't you keep your fears
21:06let them go right here break through it
21:14oh
21:32oh lexi you talk in your sleep no i don't
21:36i do not you do you're lying i cannot make this up oh my god what did i say random stuff
21:44you also looked very good last night thank you i felt very good in that outfit
21:49i didn't expect any different but i was like yeah she's she definitely understands the assignment
21:55um i'm not always super
22:00body comfortable
22:04that's hard for me to talk about there's this side of me that's oh i'm supposed to be here in
22:09this moment and be like sexy and i want you to look at me a certain way
22:14i personally love your body um but i also want to respect you in that and make sure like
22:22you're comfortable and move at whatever speed you want to move at and i can find like
22:28like our intimacy in different moments it doesn't have to be this traditional narrative that's played
22:34where i'm like super chasing you or like exoticizing you like i fell for you
22:40i love could i be with this person when i'm like 90 years old and we both look very different than we
22:48once did that's what i was thinking about it's just it's a bonus that you're hot
22:53i'm definitely looking not trying to make you uncomfortable but i'm definitely like damn
23:01intimacy is an important part of marriage and it could take our relationship to the next level
23:06but i think this trial marriage isn't just about like flirting or fun or banter it's about being
23:14with somebody you could see marrying one day
23:27with somebody you could be with somebody you could be with somebody you could be with somebody you
23:32know
23:33oh good morning hey good morning how do you feel i'm feeling very sleepy today
23:39yeah i want to tell you how amazing you are oh you're like first thing in the morning getting
23:57up and like cleaning and stuff so i i appreciate it i can help out more with that i know you're not a
24:05morning person i know i like to sleep in you know i wish that you could um just communicate more with
24:11me with that i i think our schedules are pretty in sync apart from you being a morning person like
24:20you like to get up super early and get things going that's because i have to make my food and then i
24:26have to get ready for for work right you know and then i have to like cook again and right then i have
24:32to clean you know and then i have to wait for you to come out of the bathroom that's a lot i'm just
24:39like doing so much that i'm usually not used to right i remember when we went on dates you say you're
24:45gonna cook for me i know and we even made a like grocery list together yeah ever since i met aussie's
24:53friend mo i noticed a different person in aussie the commitment is just like not matching we share
25:00the fridge we share the bathroom we share the bedroom but we don't show the house chores and
25:04i'm excusing aussie but then quickly i realized that there's no excuse for you like you we're in
25:11this process we're in a concentrated marriage for 21 days like this is your moment to shine why aren't
25:16you doing these things yeah uh i don't know what to say i do i cook at home i mean at my own place
25:24yeah um so does that mean i have to go to your house i've been seeing my friends who have taken
25:33me out to dinner so i've had leftovers i'm just heating up my leftovers so you've been on vacation
25:39while i've been starving at home yeah and i bought a lot of frozen stuff i didn't meal plan
25:47you know i'll make an effort yeah and you're lucky because when tape cooks i don't help
25:50for me marriage is like having sense of security and feeling safe with the person that you're gonna
25:59spend your life with right and i feel like that all just like fell down i started to feel like i
26:05didn't know if i could trust you because i have a mindset that you're my partner and i didn't
26:10understand why my partner would do this to me i feel like my whole life like i've been let down by
26:16like everyone that i trust right and i don't have a safe space because we don't have an equal partnership
26:26yeah i'm not good with conflict and confrontation i want to like just disappear
26:32like a vegas girl nice this finger on top now press up you got to get the bridge
26:56you let go of this we'll work on it all right shall we
27:01okay can you do a bridge with your body no i can do a bridge
27:10let's find the space between you and i
27:23i feel closer to you than i ever have um i remember when we first
27:35like locked eyes was that on the pier yeah i think that was the first and now looking in your eyes
27:40eyes i think you're beautiful and i think we have a connection
27:57should we go to sleep
28:00i love a good challenge you're my little onion that i'm feeling
28:05oh my god i know what you're thinking
28:12should we uh turn the lights off oh oh i've gotta i've gotta turn off that light
28:19oh my gosh are you not ticklish yes
28:30keep doing that that felt good
28:40it's just
29:05it's just the beginning
29:10it's just the beginning
29:15it's just the beginning
29:19if you're not a little bit
29:21it's just the beginning
29:31it's just the beginning
29:35When you're asleep
29:42Where do you go?
29:48Where do you go?
29:53Like a bird in a golden cage
30:00I'll wait for you
30:05Last night I felt very adult
30:13Like XXX adult
30:19You like, giving yourself, you know, to me
30:22Like it feels like really special
30:32It means a lot to me
30:35Does it change your like feelings about me?
30:37Or are you just like
30:38It's almost like I had like already done it so many times in my mind
30:41You know what I mean?
30:42So like it
30:44I almost like knew how great it was going to be
30:51I guess like waking up like what was like your first thought this morning
30:54I wanted it again?
31:04Was it a bad thing? No
31:06I didn't think I would find myself in a position where I like care about you in the way that I do
31:14Mm-hmm
31:15Mm-hmm
31:16And genuinely like have feelings for you and now
31:20It's complicated
31:21More than complicated
31:22Mm-hmm
31:23Oh no, I got a new obsession
31:24I guess I'll add to my collection
31:26No, I don't ever want to stop it
31:28I just want everything
31:29I would offer you this meal but it's the worst meal I've ever made
31:32I'd burnt the cauliflower and
31:36more than complicated mm-hmm I would offer you this meal but it's the worst
31:54meal I've ever made I'd burnt a cauliflower and how are you and well
32:06they kind of wanted us to talk about what happened last night I had a lot of fun
32:13this night I believe I fingered you I think that was it right obviously we
32:21know what happened how are you feeling about it it was like a slice of freedom
32:27after we were in jail for a long time just in that sense was like euphoric I
32:32think I like texted with Lexi and called her she obviously wasn't happy she's
32:41gonna try to figure out what her life is like without me like I fucking hurt her
32:48and to hear her say that um we might not have any fucking future is like fucking
32:54hard to hear she's just going on about how like how she has to tell her family
33:02and friends that I did this and like she was like her grandpa loves me I don't
33:07know why I don't know why anyone likes me to be honest she's like I don't know how
33:10to call him and tell him that you did that I'm like yeah I get it do you
33:16remind her how hot and irresistible I am
33:20it's interesting because my last time I talked to Lexi like that last date all
33:26she was doing was talking about how we are supposed to be in this experience
33:29like how we really need to commit to it and I'm just like well you fucking
33:34committed this is your ex like you're fine you're in this new trial marriage
33:38it's kind of like when Amish people go on Rothspringer or something and they're
33:42like oh look we're free for six months and then they can decide whether they
33:45want to go back to Amish life or not mm-hmm I feel like this is this is that so we
33:51should just have a threesome honestly at this point too far
33:56just feel like shit yeah you come into this process right and like you give each other the
34:07room you give each other the space to explore everything this is I didn't ask her to tell me
34:13she wasn't gonna sleep with Vanessa I didn't ask that of her I tried to tell her to just be careful
34:18yeah the type of person Vanessa is I don't think she's here for the right reason
34:23the person who I thought loved me came here and then slept with that person
34:28it feels like a betrayal
34:32it was like sick to my stomach about it
34:41what happened here like was not love this was not love why would I ever want to like marry someone like
34:55that it sucks it sucks selfishly I'm annoyed because now it affects my process but like we're here you're
35:10this really smart really beautiful girl who makes really good decisions all the time it's super caring
35:16the list goes on so you're not as lost as you think you are I know this sucks but like you're good
35:21you're good you're good you're okay we're gonna ride this wave together I'm so appreciative to have
35:28you here to show up and love someone to show up and like care about someone I love you
35:51I'm so excited that I get to go out and I get to dress up and have fun and see everybody
36:10I'm interested to see how Sam is surviving over there with Tiff
36:15I'm sure Sam is gonna vent to me and tell me that she can't get Tiff to shut up
36:21oh absolutely
36:23you don't need the bathroom not just yet I'm in my shirts okay but do you need it like I might need
36:33it at the end yeah like but what does the end mean like how much time oh I need like maybe 15
36:39minutes okay I mean out of the restroom yeah okay so just let me know when you need to pee so I could
36:45get out and then when you're not peeing I need to finish getting my hair done and my makeup done
36:49that's that's fine okay cool how come we never communicate like this this is this is cool
36:54uh we've been doing it mate I would always say hey the door's open I just showered it's all yours
37:01if you need to come in knock on the door we just did it one time Aussie okay I wasn't keeping track
37:06I really don't care mate whatever you need yeah but you still have to be considerate of other
37:10people I'm a hundred percent considerate of other people I feel like you say shit on camera to make
37:17me look bad mate it's something that's been bothering me oh yeah what have I said on camera
37:27that makes you look bad because I don't really want to talk about it right well I do want to talk
37:31about it because I you just accused me so you can't accuse somebody and run away I don't want to
37:35talk about it it's fine then you should have never said anything I don't know who it is you dated
37:41before that stayed quiet and you had the last talk but you messed with the wrong person
37:46I've been nothing but fucking nice to you wow I've been there for you and you have been nothing but
37:53disrespectful and inconsiderate with me man you avoid any type of conversation that I try to have
37:59with you on and off camera true I was avoiding this right now because I'm not in a place to talk
38:06to you when you're like this I have never done this to you I have been nothing but nice to you
38:10so don't sit here and say that you can't talk to me when I'm like this you had two weeks to talk to
38:15me when I was calm but now I'm not calm I need to well I know all of a sudden you don't want to talk to
38:20me I don't want to go ahead with this conversation because it's not going to be constructive for
38:31neither of us I've like to have seen you guys in like so long it's only two weeks okay like we're
38:53all sitting here we're all obviously dating each other's exes right or married so like we can talk
38:59about the things I think whether we wanted it or not we're all learning things about ourselves
39:03and our partners and our relationships and what we want and don't want yes and don't want don't
39:08want you guys have secrets I want to know give me something that your trial marriage partner does
39:12that bother like not bothers you or it's like you didn't expect girl oh my god my partner poured ramen
39:18down our bathroom sink so wait what ramen down so then what happened that was it that's all
39:26that's all you got give us something else why why is it me I gave I gave give me give me some
39:32shit about Yoli um I you don't have to be scared you can run her tea no I'm just trying to feel like
39:40when I like walked in I was like why are there all these wine corks and water bottles everywhere
39:46but Marge plays with the water bottle she plays with it but I was just like what's going on like why
39:51is there's so much shit the dog yeah Marge is the little dog that's it talking about them about
39:59the noodles no you didn't even say anything about Yoli you just said you just said about the dog
40:04that's not you're not getting a pass but if you don't have anything that's okay
40:08but I kind of feel like you might and I feel like you're a little scared to say something
40:15that wait about Yoli yeah are you kidding me with all of Yoli's quirks and all her little sass and her
40:29like smart ass mouth like spill the tea sis you're hiding something or you know lying all right you know
40:39what I'm working with Aussie doesn't want to talk she's like not communicating and I've tried so
40:45many ways well it is harder to communicate with people who are avoidant and Aussie is very much
40:51so avoidant how do you like communicate with her if you know that um by not talking about it when
40:57Aussie's in a triggered state and when is Aussie not in a trigger state
41:01Aussie will usually have to go and like listen to meditations and then that's when you can have
41:08the conversation when does the moment come when you actually talk when is Aussie fully meditated and
41:14and that might sound like very harsh to some people a lot of times it's just feeling it out
41:18Aussie's friends are very important like Aussie will also listen to them no you know she's 42 years
41:24old she needs to step it up and communicate with her partner that's what she needs to do and I think
41:29that she needs to not have someone that's going to hold her hand well that's the interesting thing
41:37is that Tiff and I have been practicing a lot of really good communication there's a lot of yelling
41:43and arguing it was a lot like that in the first week and then it started getting easier after that
41:48because I vocalized certain things and like we actually kind of like dug deep a little bit so
41:54yeah wow kind of jealous
41:56if I'm learning anything in this process it is how I have to be able to lean into love
42:05I have to be able to show up better to the table when love and marriage is on the line
42:11so two ultimatum givers three ultimatum receivers
42:14just because if you're a receiver and someone else is a giver
42:17are you talking about sex
42:18I got my nipples pierced
42:22that's horrible
42:26I have been living with an ultimatum receiver
42:32who I have convinced of marriage
42:36I still believe in marriage through and through
42:39being with somebody who issued the ultimatum as well
42:45and like both of us having the same hell yeah energy
42:47it's been really affirming and it's effortless
42:51it's drama free
42:53beautiful
42:53and it's a wonder that Xander hasn't been like
42:57picked up yet
42:59I'm like she's so phenomenal and so wonderful
43:01and so great
43:02do you?
43:05you've been saying that you don't want to marry her
43:06I know the value she brings to your life
43:08she brings it to my life
43:09what value you're bringing to her life
43:11that's what I'm trying to figure out
43:12you don't know
43:13that's what I want to work on
43:15four years together
43:15you don't know what value you're bringing to Xander's life
43:19I've never had to think about that before
43:20I've been like even before Xander
43:21my ex-boyfriend loved the shit out of me
43:23like he would have married me
43:24and like I've just been so blessed with these people
43:27who don't ask much of me
43:28what is with the bullshit?
43:32I am surprised that Xander dated somebody like Vanessa for four years
43:36when Vanessa talks I feel sorry for her
43:39because it just sounds like she's just trying to grapple
43:41with how to not make herself look like a bad person
43:45and that's a lot to juggle
43:46I want to know where you stand in that
43:48I don't know where the fuck you stand
43:50I don't know
43:52I don't know
43:53I think that we've all
43:57have been given the opportunity to
44:00you know be physical and like
44:01let's talk about it
44:03how do we feel about that?
44:08maybe we should drink more for that
44:09wait you come get a drink with me?
44:11yes
44:12all right
44:12be back
44:14you good?
44:15I'm good thank you
44:16I appreciate it
44:17I got you
44:21I can't believe Nelda did that
44:25I don't think she knows
44:26so like
44:27it's not my story to tell
44:28and also you know
44:30I've apologized to you
44:31apologize for what?
44:33for like
44:33like interfering
44:35like I feel like
44:35I feel like
44:36I will tell you that I would have never told you Ali
44:38that I was
44:39that I did something
44:40I accept your apology
44:41but I want you to forgive yourself
44:43walk on your own shit
44:44okay
44:45and just decide what it is that you want to do
44:47figure it out
44:49I don't know what to do
44:51I don't know what to do
44:52and I can't answer that for you
44:53I know
44:54so we go back
44:55I feel like when we head back over there
44:57they won't have the question anymore
44:59okay good
44:59okay
45:00let's go
45:00excuse me friends
45:06you guys are walking in
45:07into a very deep conversation
45:08just a warning
45:09sorry
45:09didn't mean to distract
45:10I don't know
45:11I was just like
45:12thanking Mildred
45:13for defending me as a choice
45:15thank you for saying that
45:16but my question is
45:17everyone's there rooting for you
45:19and you're there
45:20defending Vanessa
45:22and she's basically telling you
45:24to fuck off
45:25I didn't want to say anything
45:29that was like
45:29gonna hurt anyone
45:31which I
45:31I don't know what Lexi was talking about
45:33if anyone has clarity on that
45:34Lexi experienced something with Vanessa
45:37that super triggered her
45:40that's what that whole confrontation was about
45:42was like
45:43I don't understand why you're here
45:44I don't get it
45:45but how and why
45:46I don't understand
45:46I don't know
45:47I know
45:47I'm not trying to lie
45:48yeah no
45:48and I would tell you if I knew
45:50but like
45:51I don't want to speak for her
45:52because I don't
45:52I don't know their date
45:53I wasn't there
45:54I just know what
45:54my trial wife told me
45:56but I think the overarching thing
45:57is that
45:58she doesn't understand
45:59the intentions of Vanessa
46:00she doesn't understand the intentions
46:01and to be honest
46:02I don't either
46:03why is Vanessa here
46:05I'm not here
46:08to keep talking about Vanessa
46:09by you saying
46:10that you're not here
46:10to talk about Vanessa
46:11that is
46:11you
46:12excusing her
46:13and dismissing
46:14her behavior
46:15own up to the fact
46:17that that's the person
46:17you came with
46:18I don't feel her feelings
46:19I'm not her
46:20I am a whole different ass person
46:22but I do think that we should give
46:24we should believe Mel
46:25I'm not excusing her
46:26I'm not excusing her
46:28but I will say that I am
46:30not trying to talk about my ex
46:31for this entire party
46:33love Ray
46:50I think I chose
46:51the best trial marriage partner
46:53I could
46:53we both came in this
46:55as ultimatum receivers
46:56so like we're both
46:57really talking about marriage
46:58what that means to us
46:59and if we want that
47:01I would say she's my
47:02my literal best friend right now
47:04and she's beautiful
47:05duh
47:05we're just
47:06we're really getting along
47:07and we're trying to
47:08keep things
47:09as
47:11I don't know
47:12natural as they can
47:13and taking things slow
47:14yeah
47:19which is like
47:20not what happened
47:21seems like
47:23the exact opposite
47:24is there a reason
47:27why you fucked Ray
47:28I didn't fuck Ray
47:30oh I'm sorry
47:31Ray fucked you
47:31no
47:32and there was penetration
47:33but wait what's the funny part
47:35it's not funny at all
47:36I recognize that
47:37you don't like me
47:38you're trying to find
47:39every way not to like me
47:40and I'm trying to be very
47:40that's not it at all
47:41okay please
47:42can we try
47:43to see
47:45how we can overcome it
47:47like all we have
47:48is now guys
47:49I know
47:49and I'm happy to be here
47:50with most of you
47:51yeah
47:52most of you
47:53I'm really surprised
47:54she told you
47:54then maybe your frustration
47:55is that Ray told you
47:57my frustration was
47:58is with all of it
47:59I knew coming into this
48:00that Ray was going to
48:02trust the people around her
48:03we had a date that
48:05I think was very
48:07clarifying
48:08as to who I think
48:10you are in this process
48:12and what I think
48:12you're here for
48:13you went into a situation
48:15with Ray
48:16you made it very clear
48:18to me on all of our dates
48:19that like she was
48:19your safe option
48:20you're taking a person
48:22who was genuinely
48:22has the purest of hearts
48:24who you had sex with
48:25like why do that
48:28I'm
48:28she's beautiful
48:29like I've said
48:30no no that's not
48:30what I'm asking
48:31are you sexually attracted
48:32to Ray
48:32are you romantically
48:33attracted to Ray
48:34no
48:34okay so then
48:36this is not about Ray
48:37you're not into her
48:38wait wait wait wait
48:40Lexi
48:40you've said
48:41I'm not attracted
48:42to Ray romantically
48:43I don't you know
48:44I don't want to be
48:44sexually attracted to her
48:46you end up
48:47have like being
48:48inside of the person
48:49I came here with
48:50and that I love
48:51you have zero feelings
48:52for them
48:52zero care about them
48:54that's not true
48:55you just said
48:56you just said
48:56you have no romantic
48:57no sexual
48:58no physical feelings
49:00for this person
49:00but you don't fuck
49:02friends
49:02you don't fuck
49:03friends like that
49:04falling into
49:04I'm sorry I love you
49:05but I wouldn't fuck you
49:06I love you
49:07I love you all
49:08I'm not falling
49:09into y'all's vagina
49:09I love Yoli more
49:10than everyone here
49:11and I am not falling
49:12into her vagina tomorrow
49:13and you're hotter than shit
49:14I'm just a little curious
49:16Ray kissed you
49:17or you kissed Ray
49:18I respect that
49:20you probably don't like us
49:21but I don't remember
49:21who kissed who
49:23convenient
49:23it's not convenient
49:24it's just true
49:26we got into bed
49:27then she saw the lingerie
49:28that was on you
49:29when you got ready that night
49:30did I have lingerie on
49:31yeah you did
49:33yeah you did
49:35Vanessa
49:35wait sorry
49:36I'm just trying to understand
49:37at what point it stopped
49:37being intentional
49:38and started being coincidental
49:40it wasn't coincidental
49:41was that an accident
49:42that happened
49:43like was literally
49:43an accident
49:44you first accidentally
49:45had your fingers
49:46inside of somebody else
49:47not bad
49:49never have I ever
49:51I guess I should
49:52choose my words better
49:53so I should have
49:54responded with
49:54no it wasn't an accident
49:55she told me
49:56that you penetrated her
49:57that's not an accident
49:59it wasn't an accident
50:00no
50:01all I'm trying to say
50:02here Vanessa
50:03is that you ended up
50:04with your fingers
50:05inside of the person
50:05I came here with
50:06okay this makes me sound
50:08really bad Lexi
50:10did she penetrate you
50:11she led my hand
50:11to her vagina
50:12and I do not want to say
50:13I never wanted to fucking say
50:14but that is what happened
50:15and you were like
50:16alright and I go
50:17and I said alright
50:17and I said alright
50:19but Lexi like
50:19I think you need to have
50:20this conversation with Ray
50:21like I
50:21it is
50:22it is a conversation
50:23I need to have her with Ray
50:24can I be totally candid
50:25with you
50:25fuck the sex
50:27I don't give a shit
50:28about the sex
50:28genuinely
50:29I don't care
50:30you could have been
50:31inside her six nights a week
50:33at the end of the day
50:34like whether I walk out
50:35of here single
50:35with Ray
50:36or with Mal
50:37my problem is
50:39with the person
50:40Ray let inside of her
50:42yeah
50:42I have to understand
50:44why she trusted you
50:45enough to let you
50:46fuck her
50:46you're looking at my lips
51:04what you want to kiss him
51:04I'm worried about your ex
51:07putting her claws in you
51:08I love you
51:10I miss you
51:12do you love Yoli
51:13you all came here
51:15talking about getting married
51:16I don't want resentment
51:18I don't want drama
51:19I'm just trying to get
51:21the fuck out of here
51:22will you leave here
51:23engaged to the person
51:24that you came here with
51:25will you leave here
51:27with the person
51:27that you've spent
51:28the last three weeks with
51:29or
51:31will you leave here single
51:32when do I look
51:35now
51:35what did you do
51:40I just used a finger
51:41I'm waiting
51:42I just kind of felt like
51:46you were trying to
51:47stir the pot for me
51:48you have every right
51:49to feel how you want
51:49she's fucking with our life
51:51and I don't like it
51:52you wanted me to
51:54self-discover
51:54you wanted me to figure out
51:55what I wanted
51:56and I wanted you to find out
51:57if that was me
51:58I'm a Latina
51:59and everybody speaks
52:00over everybody
52:00being respectful
52:01has no race
52:02Mildred
52:03you can't have us both
52:05you're literally
52:06taking the choice
52:07away from me
52:07I'm not
52:08what do you want from me
52:10you don't want to be here alone
52:11I cannot have my partner
52:13dismiss how I feel too
52:15my heart and my mind
52:18are in two different places
52:19and while I'm very certain
52:21of what it would look like
52:22with either one
52:23of the people I love
52:24I just don't know
52:27what the fuck
52:28I'm gonna do
52:29I just don't know
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