- 6/20/2025
#CinemaJourney
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00They say that time is elastic.
00:15Some days slip by in minutes.
00:24Others feel like years.
00:29And right before an impending disaster, it all blends into one.
00:36That's when you know you've got to get out.
00:39We've got to get out of here.
00:41Melissa.
00:42Just for a night or two.
00:43I need at least one day off Extreme Makeover Nursery Edition.
00:46Okay, fine, but I'm in the middle of a rewrite.
00:48A what?
00:49A rewrite.
00:50Look, the point is, I'm in the zone, okay?
00:53I can't just leave for a few days willy-nilly.
00:56This is a sacred process.
00:58More sacred than coming up with an exit strategy for our non-existent baby.
01:02Anyway, we have one week to come clean.
01:05Even if we were to get away for a day, what is that going to solve?
01:09Aren't we just running away from the problem?
01:11No, because we would be removing ourselves from the problem in order to solve the problem.
01:15Think about it, just a few days away, no parents, no work, no mention of this fake baby.
01:21I mean, that's the kind of zen we need for a solution to appear, to separate the woods from the trees.
01:26Preferably somewhere you're in the woods with plenty of trees.
01:30Many of trees.
01:31Many of trees!
01:32Many of trees!
01:33Ta-da!
01:34What the hell is this?
01:35It's a bird, right?
01:36We're not born in a bird, right?
01:37That's why we decided this is the main theme of baby farm.
01:38I'm born in a bird.
01:39Right?
01:40So we decided this is the main theme of baby farm.
01:42You're smart, you have knowledge, and you have power and power.
01:46It's a bird that will never be defeated.
01:50Right?
01:51Anyway, we just wanted to show you.
01:53We're going to leave.
01:54We're going to leave.
01:55Bye bye!
01:56Dragon Dragon Baby!
01:57Dragon Dragon Baby!
01:59Dragon Dragon Baby!
02:03I'll say what's up on Bookings.com.
02:08Greetings.
02:09Henry and Melissa?
02:10Hello.
02:11Yes.
02:12Well, welcome to the Tiny Lotus.
02:13Now, I know what you're thinking, and before you ask, no, we are not affiliated with the
02:29White Lotus TV franchise, but I'm sure that you'll find all our amenities are more than
02:34comparable and at a fraction of a budget without the dead bodies.
02:39Well, no real ones.
02:41Ah, first time you two?
02:44Uh, I'm sorry?
02:45First time holidaying together.
02:46Uh, yeah.
02:47How can you tell?
02:48You know, I have a nose for these kind of things.
02:51You know what they say?
02:52First holiday either makes or breaks the relationship.
02:56But I say, there'll be no breaking on my watch.
03:00No dreary silences or mismatched activities or adulterous midnight rendezvous.
03:05Just making...
03:11Memories, that is.
03:13Speaking of which, can I perk your interest in a tour?
03:16Or maybe a visit to our wildlife reserve?
03:19Or perhaps one of our famous entertainment packages?
03:24No.
03:25We're just here to clear our minds.
03:26The less activity, the better.
03:27Yep.
03:28Understood.
03:29Bye.
03:38You can have whatever you like.
03:43You can have whatever you like.
03:45Whatever you...
03:46Whatever you...
03:47Whatever you...
03:48Whatever you like.
03:49It's a hot couple, right?
04:04Oh.
04:05I...
04:06I shouldn't have said that.
04:08Here...
04:09Here's your...
04:10Here's your key card.
04:11What?
04:12Nothing.
04:13It was about the fake baby.
04:14You got something?
04:15I don't know.
04:16I don't know.
04:17I don't know.
04:18I don't know.
04:19It was about the fake baby.
04:20It was about the fake baby.
04:21You got something?
04:22It's more of a question.
04:23Oh.
04:24Bye.
04:25Bye.
04:26What?
04:40Nothing.
04:41It was about the fake baby.
04:43You got something?
04:44It's more of a question.
04:46Oh, bye.
04:47Oh, shit.
04:56I'm going to get my charger.
04:58You want anything?
05:00Right.
05:08Oh, no.
05:10Oh, come on.
05:12What about?
05:13Uh, yeah, I...
05:16I forgot my key card.
05:19Happens to the best of us.
05:25Our secret.
05:27All right.
05:34Russia's deadliest lake.
05:37Eight letters.
05:38Who the hell would know that?
05:40Lake Karachai.
05:43K-A-R-A-C-H-A-Y.
05:47Oh.
05:48Jump in that, and the plutonium will melt you.
05:50Well, so I've heard.
05:52Thanks.
05:53Ready for a dip?
05:55Yeah.
05:55Absolutely.
05:56Here we go.
06:01There we go.
06:02We're going to be talking to you.
06:02Let's go.
06:03Oh, God.
06:04OK.
06:04We're going to be talking to you.
06:05We're going to be talking to you.
06:06We'll be talking to you.
06:07We'll be talking to you.
06:08Who are those people and why are they so hot?
06:31Maybe they're dangerous.
06:32Let's go find out.
06:33What? No.
06:33Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
06:35Oh, no.
06:35Henry, stop being such a bore.
06:37I'm not. I just...
06:38I like staying in my comfort zone.
06:42Besides, maybe the concierge was right.
06:44This is kind of like our first real date together without all the fake stuff.
06:49Maybe we should spend it getting to know each other instead of another random couple.
06:54Yeah, no, you're right.
06:55Let's do it.
06:56No work, no parents, no fake baby.
06:58Just you and me getting to know each other.
07:07Uh, so, um, this bread smells great.
07:16Really?
07:17What?
07:17That's your conversation starter.
07:18Oh, fine. You go.
07:20Amateur.
07:20French baguette.
07:28See?
07:29Fuck.
07:29It's hard.
07:33I'm gonna zip to the bathroom.
07:35Yep.
07:36Mm-hmm.
07:41Hello?
07:41Ellie, you've got to help me.
07:43Are you okay?
07:45Do you need something scrubbed off the internet again?
07:47No.
07:48It's Henry.
07:49And it's me.
07:50We made an agreement we wouldn't talk about the fake pregnancy, but now it's like, I don't
07:54know how to talk about anything else.
07:55Oh, no.
07:56Should we break the bat?
07:58Uh, well, not if you agreed to it.
08:01You could always try role-playing.
08:02Role-play?
08:02Yeah, that way you can get out of your head.
08:05Pretend to be someone not as interesting as, well, you.
08:08Ellie, the whole reason we're in this mess in the first place is because there's too much
08:12role-play.
08:14No more bad suggestions.
08:15Okay, okay.
08:16Jeez.
08:17Calm down.
08:18What if I broke something?
08:19Expensive.
08:20Would that spice things up?
08:21What?
08:22No.
08:23Look, just, why don't you two try and, like, make friends with some of the other guests?
08:28What?
08:28Why?
08:29Because, Henry, that's what couples do.
08:31They discover themselves by being with other couples.
08:34Why else do you think people go on double dates?
08:36Really?
08:36Totally.
08:37You should make them do it.
08:38Yeah, 100%.
08:39Make them do it.
08:41Um.
08:41Wait, what?
08:42I mean, make her do it.
08:44Or just, like, listen to her.
08:45Who's that in the background?
08:47Noah.
08:48Jen, is that Ellie?
08:49No.
08:50Ow, is that Jen?
08:52No, sorry, gotta go.
08:53See ya, bye.
08:56Oh, crap.
09:00Ow!
09:01Root?
09:02That is the quietest wheeling case I've ever heard.
09:21I've changed my mind.
09:22Let's go talk to the hot couple.
09:24Finally.
09:25Something is up.
09:29Come on.
09:30Who do you think they are?
09:47Spies?
09:48In New Zealand?
09:49More like hot eco-terrorists or vigilantes.
09:52Please.
09:56That's weird.
09:57You didn't even check the bin.
09:59Perfect.
10:01Come on.
10:07Burner phone.
10:08I think that means spies.
10:09No messages.
10:13No contacts.
10:16When received call.
10:18Melissa, what are you doing?
10:20Shut up.
10:20I'm speaking.
10:21Number five.
10:22Proceed to number five.
10:24That's weird.
10:25Freeze.
10:28The phone.
10:28I swear we're not working for anyone.
10:34Tell me the truth.
10:35I am.
10:36Look, I swear.
10:37We were just having an awkward time at dinner because we have some domestic trouble at home
10:41we couldn't talk about so we decided to follow you to liven the conversation.
10:45I know it sounds crazy but I swear it's true.
10:52I know the feeling.
10:55You see Brad and I, we too have our troubles.
11:00He likes to improvise.
11:03I like a well executed plan.
11:06On missions like this, it becomes challenging.
11:09Right.
11:10Bye.
11:11I'm sorry but what exactly is your mission?
11:15If you don't mind me asking, I just...
11:17We're busting a ring of smugglers.
11:19They have a rare egg of the endangered Kakapo variant.
11:23Told you.
11:23Eco-terrorists.
11:25The waiter with the suitcase.
11:28No, it was empty.
11:29Classic decoy manoeuvre.
11:30And now, my partner and I have split up and a signal's dead.
11:36Number five.
11:37The message on the phone, it said proceed to number five.
11:40We just got to figure out what that means, right?
11:41Yeah, yeah.
11:42Well, it's probably just a room number.
11:45No?
11:47Ah, yeah, what she said.
11:49Yeah.
11:54Nah, this has got to be a set-up, right?
11:56You think my partner double-crossed me?
11:58Well, I don't want to jump to conclusions but...
12:00No, you're right.
12:01I knew this day would come.
12:06They must be heading towards the utility building.
12:09Wait!
12:10What?
12:10If Henry's right, and your partner did turn on you, you could be walking into an ambush.
12:15Yes.
12:16But I must complete the mission.
12:18The Kakapo needs me.
12:19Even if Brad and I have our differences, we're still partners till the end.
12:23Off we go.
12:29It would be stupid to follow her.
12:31Right?
12:32Oh, come on.
12:33We have verified your payment and captured an uninvited house guest.
12:42Bastards.
12:42Your merchandise.
12:43What did you care to inspect?
12:46She's using a selfie stick?
12:51Oh, no.
12:52Crap.
12:53Stop her!
12:54Oh, shit.
12:55What are we doing?
12:56We need to save that Kakapo.
12:57What are you crazy?
12:58No.
12:59It's do or die.
12:59How did you do that?
13:12I'm a hobby horse roller derbyist.
13:14Jumping on runaway horses is kind of my thing.
13:16Oh.
13:17Should I make a run for it?
13:17Mm-hmm.
13:19What the hell do you think you two are playing at?
13:22Do you have any idea how difficult this was to arrange?
13:25Uh, this is the end of the road for you, Mr. and Mrs. Lee.
13:33We are not married.
13:34And you never will be.
13:46Thanks for your help.
13:48That was a close one.
13:49Is that a Californian accent?
13:51If I told you, I'd have to...
13:53I can take that from here.
13:56Not so fast.
14:00Honey?
14:01Darling.
14:02Did you betray me?
14:03What?
14:04No.
14:05No, of course not.
14:06These two seem to think so.
14:07No, that was Henry.
14:08I think you're open.
14:09You never get caught.
14:11Never.
14:12So why would it happen tonight?
14:14Hon, I was improvising.
14:16I let them catch me on purpose so you could follow my signal.
14:19But there was no signal.
14:20Of course there was.
14:21Look, it's right here.
14:22I ran out of battery.
14:27I'm sorry.
14:28This is why I hate it.
14:30When you improvise!
14:36Well, did you like it?
14:38I was a bit over-rehearsed.
14:39Please, be honest.
14:40Babe, I never would have guessed.
14:42Oh.
14:52I may have pissed myself.
14:53Shut up and have to go.
14:56Oh!
14:58Hey!
14:59Oh, no!
14:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:01Oh, wait.
15:02So you two lied to your parents about being pregnant and now they have an ultrasound of
15:07a fake embryo in the fridge?
15:08Mm-hmm.
15:09Wow.
15:10This is crazy.
15:11And we have been on some crazy missions with some crazy cover stories.
15:15Yeah, but nothing like this.
15:18So what are you two going to do when you get back?
15:19No idea.
15:21We weren't even supposed to be talking about it while we were here, but oops, it's too late
15:26for that.
15:27I don't understand.
15:28Why weren't you meant to talk about it here?
15:29Well, I guess this getaway was supposed to be like this zen retreat where we clear our
15:34minds, but instead of finding a solution, I think...
15:36I think that we found out that without talking about these lies, we have nothing much to
15:42talk about.
15:45God, I think you're right.
15:48You know, just speaking from experience, I don't think people do the job we do if they
15:53weren't running away from something in the past.
15:55That's right.
15:57It's not about what's hidden in the old life.
15:59It's about what's created in your new life.
16:02Together.
16:03It's why me and Ange, we have this thing where every week we tell each other one thing
16:10about ourselves from the past life, something we wouldn't tell anyone else.
16:16Come on, Henry.
16:17You first.
16:19Oh, no, come on, no.
16:21Henry, you must.
16:22Come on.
16:23Yeah, Henry, you must.
16:24Come on.
16:25Okay, fine.
16:27Um...
16:28I know every episode tied off Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
16:31Big deal.
16:32So did every straight guy who had a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar in the 90s.
16:36Okay, fine.
16:37Well, what's your awesome secret?
16:39I can yodel.
16:40So?
16:41So, it's a very niche skill, Henry.
16:44Yeah, what are you, a Swiss cow?
16:45You take that back.
16:46You take your thing back.
16:47No, you first.
16:48You first.
16:48You, you, you, you first.
16:49Stop.
16:50Stop.
16:52You're not doing this right.
16:54Brad, darling.
16:55Come on.
16:58Uh...
16:58Okay.
16:59Okay.
17:02You know, sometimes, this job we do, I don't think it really matters.
17:11Brad, no.
17:13Yeah.
17:17It's okay.
17:18Me too.
17:20Really?
17:21Yes.
17:22But when you've come this far, what do you have left?
17:25Babe.
17:37See?
17:38Something deep and real.
17:42And deep.
17:44Your turn.
17:44I think love's an obsolete by-product of a single cellular evolution.
17:51And I think we seek it for transcendence, but it's really just an unattainable illusion.
17:56Wow.
17:58Where did that come from?
18:00I think we might excuse ourselves and, uh, let you figure that out.
18:04Sure you are.
18:05So wait, you're saying that when single-cell organisms finally decided to flap together
18:18in a multicellular colony like us,
18:20they created love to give us, their hosts, a reason to live?
18:25Yeah.
18:25And procreate.
18:27We work for them.
18:28Without us, they'd just go back to wriggling on the ground,
18:32being raped and pillaged by bacteria and sunlight.
18:36It's pretty dark.
18:38It's biology.
18:41At least I'm not scared of falling asleep because it's too much like dying.
18:44Uh, you are literally losing consciousness.
18:46Oh, no, I don't want to hear that.
18:48No.
18:48Your heart.
18:49What?
18:50You know, the first time I was with someone,
18:59afterwards she just turned around and fell asleep.
19:04I think that's when I realised, even when you found someone,
19:08you still cross that final journey into sleep alone.
19:14I guess it all ends just the same.
19:16I think it's just called insomnia.
19:24You know, it is possible to fall asleep simultaneously.
19:31So I've heard.
19:46There they are.
19:51Oi.
19:52Henry.
19:53Mel.
19:54Hey.
19:55Oh, so glad we caught you two.
19:57We had such a blast last night.
19:58How fun is this place?
20:00It makes the escape rooms in Tauranga look pretty...
20:02shonky, I've got to say.
20:05Your voices, they're...
20:06different voices.
20:08Yeah.
20:09Yeah.
20:09Oh, you used your own.
20:10That was genius.
20:11We were saying, weren't we, that you both seem so natural.
20:14So natural.
20:15Yeah, they didn't tell us there'd be others playing.
20:17Playing.
20:18Oh, sorry.
20:19Are you doing a bit?
20:21Are you two still laughing?
20:23What the hell's that?
20:24You know.
20:26Live action role play?
20:27One of their famous entertainment packages.
20:30Yeah, yeah.
20:31Oh, you didn't think we were actually spies, did you?
20:35Thank you, but no, I'm a geography teacher, and Bradley here's a locksmith.
20:41Yeah.
20:42Locksmith.
20:42Yeah.
20:43This is just how we like to spice things up.
20:44Yeah.
20:45We like to keep our real eyes pretty drama-free, you know?
20:48Right.
20:49Right.
20:51Sorry, Jutara.
20:52Can I speak with you two privately?
20:56Oh, you two must go to high school.
20:59Good luck.
21:01Bye-bye.
21:02Bye-bye.
21:05Not once in all my time here has anyone dared hijack another couple's entertainment package.
21:13We didn't.
21:14And considering I explicitly offered you one upon arrival, you were so lucky those two had fun and are not pressing charges.
21:25Expect to see this on your bill.
21:32Oh.
21:32Oh.
21:33Oh.
21:35Let's get out of here.
21:42Come on.
21:47Oh.
21:48We like to keep our real lives drama-free.
21:50I mean, how boring do you have to be to go laughing as a couple just to spice things up?
21:55I know, right?
21:55And somehow we're the bad guys, even though they're the ones that strung us along.
21:58I'm going to leave them a very bad review.
22:02Zero stars.
22:03I'd better believe it.
22:04Dad, are you okay?
22:15Yeah.
22:16Surprise.
22:17Guys.
22:22Do you like it?
22:24They say time is elastic.
22:25The more you try to hold it off, the harder it snaps back.
22:30We...
22:31Love it.
22:34Yep.
22:35Love it.
22:35Let's go.
23:05Baby I know,别离开我,别离开我
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