ES S02 E06 Evolving - gay theme series - video Dailymotion

The Gaymer

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Transcript

00:01Have you decided what you're gonna do?

00:03I don't know.

00:04I mean, it's kind of a crazy opportunity

00:06to always talk about New York when we were in school,

00:09when we actually talked.

00:11You were gonna be the toast at Chelsea,

00:13and I was gonna play at coffee shops

00:15and be discovered like Jewel or somebody.

00:17All right, we talked a lot.

00:19Weren't we gonna start a band or something?

00:21We were gonna be Robert Mapplethorpe and Patti Smith,

00:25just you and me, except no sex, incest.

00:28Plus, you're gayer than Mapplethorpe, if that's possible.

00:32And I never learned how to play the acoustic guitar.

00:35I do still occasionally photograph penises.

00:38Well, you have to dream, you know?

00:41If you're gonna accomplish anything.

00:43If you're gonna get out of bed in the morning.

00:46Just getting out of bed in the morning?

00:48Mmm, yes.

00:54And when are you gonna tell him?

00:56Well, just to figure out what I'm actually gonna do,

01:00I'm gonna do it today.

01:02And please don't tell them for me.

01:04She peer pressured me, Calvin.

01:06Mom's incredibly sneaky.

01:08She keeps sending me articles about polyamory.

01:10How sweet.

01:12Is it?

01:13I mean, I've been reading about Compersion online.

01:15God, shut up.

01:17Okay, we're not on a compound in Utah, all right?

01:20We're not polyamorous.

01:22Well, what would you call it?

01:24I don't know what it's all about.

01:26Oh.

01:28Hey, Tom!

01:30You guys ready to walk to the beach?

01:32After we finish your project?

01:34Can we stop at the music store on the way?

01:38Yes!

01:40No.

01:42No.

01:43Why not?

01:50So nice, not having to work brunch.

01:52Oh, relax.

01:53Shh!

01:54I'm listening to the guitar.

01:56So pretty.

01:57Hi!

01:58I'm here.

01:59I'm alone.

02:00Not with Douglas.

02:01Douglas is not here, because apparently we're fighting.

02:02Because apparently I'm a transphobic asshole who, what?

02:04Wanted some pictures of us in suits so I could show it to my mom.

02:07Just to prove that, you know, one day I might get gay married.

02:09Not that Douglas is actually trans, and not that I actually want to get gay married.

02:12Although I would not turn down the registry.

02:13Hi, how's everyone doing?

02:14Two hours late.

02:15Two hours late?

02:16Am I?

02:17For brunch?

02:18What time does brunch start?

02:19One, two, three, four.

02:20There are no rules.

02:21Move over.

02:22Let's go over.

02:23Ugh.

02:24Oh, I love being homeless.

02:25Let's do yoga.

02:26Let's do something productive.

02:27Let's do nothing.

02:28Oh, you're so funny!

02:30Touching my face.

02:31You don't always have to be.

02:33Mm-hmm.

02:34I want to thank you for that.

02:38You brought a guitar.

02:40I swear to God, I don't know where she got it.

02:43Don't worry, I don't know how to play it yet.

02:45But I will.

02:46Do you think I'm crazy, because I want photographic proof that we're normal people?

02:50Are you, though?

02:52Cal, your sister's hate-criming me.

02:54Wait, what's happening?

02:55Uh, Quincy wants Douglas to perform masculinity.

02:57For Facebook.

02:58Ugh, everyone stop ganging up on me.

03:00Seriously, why do you want people to think you're normal?

03:02I mean, people have assumed I'm normal my entire life, and then they find out that I'm not, and they act like I tricked them or something.

03:08I mean, normal is a construct.

03:09It's just, it's this elaborate performance by boring people.

03:14You are far from normal.

03:16Don't perform normal, Quincy.

03:19You're so much more than normal.

03:23So I'm like a gay superhero?

03:25Yes!

03:26Yes!

03:27Thank you so much for your queer positivity, but really, now that I'm here, I'd like to just enjoy myself, maybe drink some of this coconut rum, if you don't mind, and act like we're not two days away from the beach.

03:37You fucking East Side Queens.

03:39Well, that is an excellent performance in masculinity.

03:42I have friends everywhere.

03:45Oh, I have hats for everyone.

03:48There we go, Loretta Devine.

03:50Oh, thank you.

03:51Tom Sawyer, Lady Pilgrim.

03:53I love that hat.

03:54Mimosas!

03:55Oh, God, bless it.

03:56I'm so happy right now.

03:57I'm so happy.

03:58Cheers, yeah.

03:59You know, I'm glad we're so secure that we can sit around drinking mimosas.

04:00You know, like, like men.

04:01Wolf pack.

04:02Wolf!

04:03Wolf!

04:04Wolf!

04:05No, don't do that.

04:06Yeah, it's just a bunch of straight guys.

04:08Why do you say things like that?

04:09That's horrible.

04:10Did you gentlemen happen to check out that sporting event last night?

04:12Really?

04:13No, we were at the Hollywood Bowl watching Amita.

04:15Where the fuck are you?

04:16I had a date actually.

04:17Well, not actually a date.

04:18But I had a date, but I had a date.

04:19I was like, oh, I'm so happy.

04:20I'm so happy.

04:21I'm so happy.

04:22Cheers, yeah.

04:23You know, I'm glad we're so secure that we can sit around drinking mimosas.

04:25You know, like men.

04:26Wolf pack.

04:27Wolf!

04:28Wolf!

04:29Wolf!

04:30Wolf!

04:31No, don't do that.

04:32Yeah, it's just a bunch of straight guys.

04:33Why do you say things like that?

04:34That's horrible.

04:35I had a date actually.

04:36Well, not actually a date, but the closest thing I've come to having a date.

04:40Uh-oh, are we talking blonde ambition or Asian sensation?

04:43That's possibly racist.

04:44Yeah.

04:45What do you mean possibly?

04:46Seriously.

04:47All is fair in loving the ladies, am I right?

04:50Oh my God, I hate you.

04:51What?

04:52Yeah.

04:53But I mean like, on a serious note, dude, you are like an idiot savant.

04:57I mean, how do you do it?

04:58I don't even know.

04:59I am just a piece of shit.

05:01That's the word I was like a blast.

05:03Is that the key?

05:04I wish that was a piece of shit.

05:09Are you fucking kidding me?

05:11What?

05:12I gotta go.

05:13No.

05:14No, dude.

05:15No.

05:16You know what?

05:17If you're leaving, you gotta film the thing.

05:19Whoever it is, you film it.

05:21Film it.

05:22So we can all watch.

05:23Together.

05:24I'll see you later, guys.

05:26Come on.

05:27Titties!

05:28We got faith in you.

05:29We got faith in you.

05:30Get those titties.

05:31Get that ass.

05:32I thought you're an asshole.

05:33No.

05:34It's good fun.

05:35I thought we were all assholes.

05:36I thought that's what this was all about.

05:41Where are you going?

05:42Out for a run.

05:43We're on the reservoir.

05:44But I'm making vegan quiche.

05:45I'll be back in an hour.

05:46Okay.

05:58Get up.

05:59Get dressed.

06:00We're going for a drive.

06:01I was napping.

06:02The sun is setting and I need emotional support.

06:05This is my first stakeout.

06:16I feel like we should have binoculars and handguns or something.

06:19Grill we, shh, shh, shh, shh.

06:22Quiet.

06:23Why?

06:24I don't know.

06:26So I just want to, like, sit here in silence.

06:30I mean, I may be mourning the end of my relationship, okay?

06:33Please, you don't really think that she's cheating.

06:34That's her.

06:45So what now?

06:46We wait.

06:48For what?

06:49I don't know.

06:50For them to get naked.

07:00I don't think I can do this anymore.

07:02You're doing fine.

07:03Okay, but I mean, after this, this really has to be the last time.

07:06Why is that?

07:07You're using me.

07:08Yes, and...

07:10And I'm using you to avoid my feelings?

07:16Sorry.

07:17You're so fucking precious.

07:19I mean, that's usually the point of sex.

07:21Yeah, but it shouldn't be.

07:22It sucks.

07:23We're shitty people.

07:24So what if sex with you relaxes me?

07:27Relaxes me not to feel anything.

07:28And before you accuse me of being some sort of a dykey Don Draper,

07:31just know that my wife and I basically have an understanding.

07:34You do?

07:35Yeah.

07:36I mean, it's none of your business, but...

07:37We're basically don't ask, don't tell.

07:40I can do whatever I want with men so long as she doesn't find out.

07:43Because she knows there's basically zero chance of me ever developing any feelings.

07:49Can we please just get to sex?

07:51I only have half an hour.

07:52Oh, fine.

07:52Just stop talking.

07:54I'm gonna take this bitch out.

07:55Who is she?

07:56All right, where is she?

07:57Bree?

07:58Who the hell is that?

07:59Uh, this is Ian.

08:00He's my friend.

08:01I'm sorry.

08:01She said she was allowed to.

08:03Oh, thank God.

08:03It's a dude.

08:04Well...

08:05I don't understand.

08:06Stop talking.

08:07You're a sex toy.

08:09I'm gonna go.

08:10Okay.

08:10Bree.

08:11Wait.

08:12Bree.

08:15I thought you were cheating on me.

08:16Why would I cheat on you?

08:17I don't know.

08:18I feel like I don't even know you.

08:19Why wouldn't you just tell me?

08:20Because that's what we agreed to do.

08:22Yeah, like four years ago, and that didn't include lying.

08:25Why are you lying to me about it?

08:27We used to be interesting.

08:29We used to be passionate.

08:31We used to be spontaneous.

08:32I mean, I used to be an activist, and now I work at a law firm.

08:37And our subversive relationship is about to get recognized by the state.

08:40And you and I have not had sex in six months.

08:43And when are we supposed to?

08:47I mean, there's five people crammed in a two-bedroom house.

08:52Are you happy now?

08:55Now you know everything, and I have nothing for myself.

08:57Yeah.

08:59I'm supposed to know everything about you.

09:01Well, you do.

09:02I didn't know you were so unhappy.

09:04Well, how happy are you?

09:05I guess I'm not that happy.

09:12I'm sorry.

09:15It's okay.

09:15Let's just do something about it.

09:18Okay.

09:20Come on.

09:21How long exactly?

09:28Uh, I don't know.

09:30Um.

09:30A couple of times a week, for the last month or so.

09:38Jesus, V.

09:40That's like a record for you.

09:42Are you straight now?

09:43Are you reenacting the plot till the kids are all right?

09:46Wait.

09:48Where are the kids?

09:50Are they all right?

09:51They're watching TV.

09:53What?

09:54Look, it's really hard being a single mom, just so you know.

09:56Well, yeah, I would like to spend a little bit more time with the kids, too.

09:59And I'd like to spend a lot less time at work.

10:01But I am the only one with a job that pays.

10:04It seems like you'd find time to do that.

10:10You weren't going with him?

10:18I can walk home.

10:22Listen.

10:24I know what it's like being the other woman.

10:27You do?

10:27I have some experience, yes.

10:32My advice is to get out now if you're not in too deep.

10:35Oh, I'm out.

10:36Don't you worry about me.

10:39Good for you.

10:42Good luck with everything.

10:43Well, this is depressing.

11:02I'm cold.

11:04You're cold?

11:05Let's go.

11:05Bye, you guys.

11:07I'm asleep.

11:08Get off me.

11:08I'm asleep.

11:10Get off.

11:10Get off me.

11:12I'm sleeping.

11:14I'm sleeping.

11:16I'm sleeping.

11:18I haven't done this since college.

11:20That was fun.

11:20Yeah, it was.

11:21Have a good day.

11:23Your sister seems to, like, we see you a lot.

11:25Yeah, I knew it was that.

11:27It was a real connection thing.

11:29Yeah, right?

11:30Hey, guys.

11:34Hey, Jeremy.

11:38How have you been?

11:40Oh, you know, um, same old.

11:44Well, I heard you got back together.

11:48It makes me really happy.

11:51It does?

11:52How?

11:52Oh, no, I'm genuinely curious.

11:54It does.

11:55I've, uh, felt.

11:59I don't want to bore you with my emotions.

12:03Maybe we should all grab a drink and talk about it sometime.

12:06I feel like we didn't do a lot of talking before.

12:10I'm sorry about all that, I guess.

12:12I like that.

12:15Well, how about now?

12:20I'm free.

12:23Okay.

12:24Let's go.

12:25Let's go.

12:32Yeah, go ahead.

12:42I keep forgetting I don't have keys.

12:48We didn't change locks or anything.

12:49Yeah, I threw them in the reservoir.

12:52Right.

13:01Well, it's not stuffy.

13:03Thanks.

13:05I'm sorry.

13:07Yeah.

13:07No, great windows.

13:11I should have figured you wouldn't live someplace stuffy, so you don't seem like you would.

13:15Well, I like it.

13:16I mean, I like it enough to basically open a vein every month to pay for it by myself.

13:21Are you still at the bar?

13:22Yeah, basically every day.

13:23Is it a lot?

13:26For one person?

13:27Yeah.

13:29It's hard living alone.

13:31I had to give up my place.

13:33Oh, that's terrible.

13:35Your place was awesome.

13:36My loft bed was cool, but I'd probably knock my head coming down the stairs every morning.

13:40Uh, where are you now?

13:44Echo Park.

13:45Towards downtown.

13:46Kyle's place is awesome and rent-free.

13:48He has a patron for fuck's sake.

13:52You are so jealous.

13:54Mm.

13:55Yes.

13:55Yep.

13:56No, actually, no.

13:57We are way past jealousy.

13:59Well, fuck it.

14:00I'm jealous.

14:01Where's my Sam Wagstaff?

14:02Who?

14:03Robert Mapplethorpe's sexy old man benefactor.

14:05Which reminds me.

14:06Never chide me for not knowing an obscure confessional poet again.

14:17So, um, I heard you two got back together.

14:20That's a rumor.

14:21We are back together.

14:23We did get back together.

14:26Whatever that means.

14:28So, you know, we're back together.

14:31That's great.

14:32I'm really happy for you two.

14:34Um, and I'm sorry, uh, for everything that happened.

14:42Me too.

14:43Yeah, me too.

14:44I'm sorry.

14:45Why are we sorry?

14:46I mean, we should all be past this at this point, right?

14:50I'm not trying to be downer.

14:51I'm just trying to be realistic.

14:57I'm fine by me.

14:59Yeah, you two were sitting pretty close to one another.

15:03It's not an accident.

15:06Sorry doesn't knock knees like that.

15:08Sorry leaves room for Jesus.

15:11Should I go?

15:13No.

15:14You can stay.

15:17I'm sorry.

15:19Stay.

15:21I'm sorry.

15:23You're drunk.

15:24Mm-hmm.

15:24That's true.

15:28So what is the deal with you two exactly?

15:30What do you mean?

15:32Are you exclusive?

15:34Or...

15:34Studio 54 was exclusive, I guess you could say.

15:37You could say we were evolving.

15:38It's very Darwinian.

15:39Mm-hmm.

15:41Congrats on your show, by the way.

15:43Um, I was walking down the street, and I walked by the gallery, and I saw, and I swear

15:48I didn't go in.

15:51It seems like it went really well.

15:53It did.

15:54I'm so proud.

15:57They're thinking about doing another show in New York.

15:59Really?

16:00That's amazing.

16:02I'd have to go out there for a few months.

16:04After that, it knows.

16:07Wow.

16:10You didn't know?

16:12No.

16:14Congratulations.

16:17I still don't know what I'm going to do.

16:26I never know what you're going to do.

16:28Last night I felt the beat and the bang when you're drunk, the rock had begun.

16:50Last night I felt the heat and the hang of the gun, oh, what we've become.

17:02I put it in my hand.

17:05You think you'd understand.

17:08Oh, Lord, I'm in love with the enemy.

17:12Hey, Hillary.

17:24You finally texted me.

17:27We are going to the coffee shop this afternoon.

17:31And I am preparing my speech.

17:35I'm thinking about singing it.

17:37Why would you even go?

17:39Because, I don't know.

17:42Hillary?

17:43I like him.

17:47Okay.

17:49Yeah.

17:50I think you should trust your feelings.

17:52Unless they're telling you to kill the president or have a baby or something.

17:56Me.

17:59How are you hanging in there?

18:01I'm doing, God, strange.

18:05I'm adjusting.

18:07How's Tom?

18:08Tom's doing great.

18:12I think he's okay.

18:14I still can't believe that you guys hooked up with Woods' face.

18:18Thank you for confiding that in me.

18:20You are welcome.

18:23I didn't mean for it to be this weird test or anything, but it did help me understand a few things.

18:27Like what?

18:30Maybe I'm never going to be enough for Tom.

18:33And maybe that's okay.

18:34Maybe he's never going to be enough for me either.

18:38You don't want to end up like Mom, just regretting everything.

18:45Well, I've got to get alcoholism down.

18:49When are you coming to visit me?

19:02When are you coming to visit me?

19:02Hi.

19:12I've been thinking about you.

19:29I'd love to see you again

19:32If you want to see me

19:35I mean

19:35If you don't

19:38Please disregard

19:39If you do

19:41Call me

19:43Bye

19:44You know you could be helping

19:52I'm watching the truck

19:55So you're going to get me

19:58A discount on this U-Haul or what

20:00Oh man

20:01Is that a lesbian joke?

20:05That's what I thought you promised me

20:07I thought that was the deal

20:08To get out of the house

20:09I gotcha, I gotcha

20:11Shit, I'll cover the U-Haul

20:14Since you got out of the house

20:15Should we christen this bitch or what?

20:28I really just think this is best for everybody

20:33You do not have to reassure me

20:35Well, I appreciate you understanding

20:37Are you kidding me?

20:39After how long you guys let me stay with you?

20:42But do you think you're going to be okay?

20:44Yeah, I'm

20:45Amber and Anna like those deck chairs so much

20:48That I'm on a wait list

20:50So at the very least

20:51I'm going to be really busy

20:52I still can't believe how much you charge

20:55Well, it's not my fault people will pay me

20:57How are you doing anyway?

21:00Good

21:00We're having sex again

21:02Kind of

21:04On the weekends

21:05I don't get it

21:06Me neither

21:07But we're figuring it out

21:08And the wedding?

21:12Wedding's still on

21:13We're, uh

21:14Pairing it down a little bit

21:16You know, just our friends

21:17Or maybe not our friends

21:20Nice place

21:21Happy housewarming

21:23Hey, B

21:25Hey, baby

21:30I was just telling Bree

21:33How grateful I was

21:34To the two of you

21:35For letting me bottom out

21:36In your guest room

21:37I basically decided to be

21:39A complete failure of a human being

21:40For a few weeks

21:41Or months

21:42You certainly did a lot of bottoming out

21:45In our guest room, Jeremy

21:46She's funny

21:48He tells jokes

21:50You know you're welcome

21:51Anytime you need

21:52Is that him?

21:55Yeah

21:55You want to hear my philosophy

21:57On relationships?

21:58Please, no

21:59You're going to fuck up

22:00And that's okay

22:02That's a given

22:02But you have to keep trying

22:04Or don't try

22:06Either way is fine

22:07But it takes two people

22:09To keep trying

22:10Well, here's the trying

22:12And not trying

22:13Hey

22:20Hey

22:20Sorry I missed your call

22:23Thanks for calling me back

22:25Thanks for calling me back

22:26Of course

22:27What are you doing

22:29The rest of the week?

22:30Well

22:31That depends on who's asking

22:34Hey

22:40Sorry I'm late

22:44It's okay

22:45I was late too

22:46Just apparently not late enough

22:47I want to start out

22:49By apologizing

22:50Me too

22:50Nobody should leave

22:51That many voicemails

22:53It's okay

22:53I know it's okay

22:55I'm an emotionally

22:56Honest person

22:57Unlike some people

22:58Hey, I told you

22:59You did not

23:00You just didn't call me back

23:01You, in fact

23:02They broke up with me

23:03I want to start out

23:06By apologizing

23:07You know, I want to take back

23:09My previous apology

23:10That's fair

23:11I want to apologize

23:14For getting you involved

23:16In my

23:16Existential life crisis

23:19Whatever the hell this is

23:21I didn't want to be an asshole

23:24And I am

23:25An asshole

23:27Right now

23:28Apparently

23:29Sorry you're not seeing

23:34That other person

23:35No

23:36She

23:38Broke up with me

23:41So what are you doing here

23:43Is it like

23:44To rebound with me

23:45I don't know what I'm here for

23:47Deep down

23:49I can tell

23:49That you are

23:50A good person

23:51Ian

23:51Good guys

23:53Doing break things

23:54Maybe I'm not

23:57As breakable

23:58As you think

23:58I am not

24:03Going to be

24:04Your girlfriend

24:04Ian

24:05Okay

24:06But I will consent

24:08To going on a date

24:09With you

24:09Okay

24:12So when would you like

24:14To go on our date

24:15How about

24:17Now

24:19Okay then

24:21Okay then

24:23What, flowers?

24:26What do you think?

24:36What do you think?

24:36It's like red

24:37Kind of ampy

24:38Yeah, it's great

24:39We're going for like

24:40A kind of retro feel

24:41Oh

24:41Are you even sure

24:43You want to be seen in public

24:43With me?

24:45I mean

24:45Everybody's gonna be like

24:46I'm the pretty one

24:48And you're gonna have to be

24:49Fending off all the guys

24:50That want to hit on me

24:51Because you're such

24:51A fishy queen, right?

24:53You're fresh flounder

24:54Is that it?

24:55I know the risk

24:56I'm taking

24:56Listen

24:58I'm the little merman

25:00And you're flounder

25:01With mercury poisoning

25:03Okay

25:04What do you think?

25:05Wah!

25:07Um, pretty

25:08I look like a prostitute

25:10Loitering outside

25:11A donut shop

25:11Yeah

25:13Base coat

25:1330, 40 more minutes

25:16You'll be

25:16Like an escort

25:17I got you

25:19Oh, lucky me

25:20No, no, no, no

25:22You don't kiss and drag

25:23It's that dick and drag

25:26Yeah

25:29I like that

25:29That's how you get the coins

25:31Yeah, this is terrible

25:40Oh

25:41Move my hand

26:01With your hand

26:06Hey, draw a map

26:10Draw a map

26:12Of the world

26:15Wild at first

26:19We flatten the earth

26:24Moving like a Ouija board

26:26Spill the map

26:28Spill the world

26:30Draw it all

26:32Leave it small

26:34Steep height

26:36Deep canyon

26:38Draw it all

26:39Draw it all

26:41In front of us

26:43I saw it all

26:46I saw it all

26:48Keep tight

26:49Complaining

26:51I saw it all

26:53In front of us

26:56But part of me

27:00But part of me

27:00Was always at sea

27:03Swimming lights

27:04Trying to wrap

27:06Around the world

27:08And somebody

27:11Is always in the lead

27:15When you're on a Ouija board

27:17You move first

27:19You spelled my words

27:21You threw it all

27:23You threw it all

27:23It didn't snow

27:25Steep height

27:28Deep canyon

27:28You threw it all

27:30You threw it all

27:31It wasn't me

27:34Before we fall, before we fall

27:38I was the right hand

27:40You were the captain

27:41You threw it all

27:44In front of me

27:48Easy to unfold

27:51Hard to fold up with me

27:57You asshole.

27:59Hi

28:01Where are your suitcases?

28:02Oh, I left them in L.A.

28:04All I need is right here

28:06I'm kidding, I'm kidding

28:08They lost them at the Vardia

28:10But said they're sending them to me

28:12How long are you here for?

28:14I'll show you

28:16Works for me

28:19That old man

28:21That's not my world

28:24No, no

28:28Not my canyon

28:31No, it wasn't me

28:37No, no

28:41Sleep tight companion

28:43No, no

28:46It wasn't me

28:50Oh, oh, oh

28:52Oh, oh, oh

28:55Oh, oh, oh, oh.

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ES S02 E06 Evolving - gay theme series

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