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00:00Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, if you leave that emotion on one more time
00:06Fuck, hang on, one more time
00:07Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, if you leave that emotion on one more time
00:12I'll grab that wooden spoon and
00:14Fucking hell, hang on
00:15Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, if you leave that emotion on one more time
00:20I'll grab that wooden spoon and not even
00:23Black 7 up!
00:30Oh, clothes aren't bleeding.
00:35Oh, what were you born in a barn?
00:39You're fired, man.
00:41But why?
00:44I'll hold my shit in the closet.
00:48I got some space if you want it.
00:52So Jack says you do comedy.
00:55Videos, sketches, that sort of thing.
00:57Just for that.
00:58Did you ever see that video of the fella pretending to be the days of the week on the stag deal?
01:02Yeah, his Monday really saddened is Friday, wear sunglasses.
01:05Ah, so you have seen it.
01:06No, I actually haven't, haven't seen it.
01:08Okay, well, it's pretty simple, man.
01:11Stock comes in and out all day.
01:13Just make space and put it away.
01:15It's pretty organized as it is.
01:17Only thing I'd recommend is put the heavy stuff in the pot of shit.
01:20The steel-told boots, for example, from right up to three, four kg per foot.
01:25I don't want that fall on my puppy from four foot up.
01:28I'd say that's the most important thing to remember.
01:30You got it?
01:31Got it!
01:32Yeah.
01:34Let's crack on, then.
01:36Oh, yeah.
01:36Bang, bang!
01:37Oh!
01:38Oh!
01:39Oh!
01:40Oh!
01:41Oh!
01:42Oh!
01:43Oh!
01:44Oh!
01:45Oh!
01:46Oh!
01:47Oh!
01:48Oh!
01:49Oh!
01:53There's some space here!
01:54Ooh!
01:55Ooh.
01:57Have you seen the steel tore boots?
01:59The lads from the building site are in.
02:01Six pairs they're after.
02:03I think I had to make room for the sandals.
02:05Oh, yeah, they're up there now.
02:11WikiHow.
02:13Stack shelf.
02:19Videos.
02:21I'm not doing that.
02:35Oh, you all right?
02:39So Eugene is stable.
02:41Oh, thank God. What was he thinking?
02:43You don't put the heavier stuff on the top shelf.
02:45You could have told me that, but it's fine.
02:47Well, I'm going to have to give you a verbal warrant.
02:49What?
02:51Hey.
02:53How about we put you on the shop floor for the rest of the day?
02:55Yeah, all right, yeah.
02:57One of the perks of the job is the uniform, right?
02:59You get a free pair of trainers to wear and work,
03:01so pick anything you want.
03:07About the Oliver Jago's.
03:09See, they'd be more the high-end designer type.
03:11We don't usually allow when they're on your feet.
03:15Oh.
03:17Oh.
03:19Oh.
03:23Fine.
03:24Just ask the customer what size they want,
03:26and let them try on one shoe.
03:28Right?
03:29If they have both, they're more likely to steal.
03:31You don't even listen to me, are you?
03:35Right.
03:36Just, um, just leave the shoes at the tail.
03:39You got it?
03:40Got it.
03:55What's the crack?
04:00Hey!
04:01Uh, can I get you a shoe?
04:03Come here to me.
04:04Your man there said you could get me these brogie
04:07in a size shucked.
04:09Well, what's going on?
04:10Are you Irish?
04:11Janey, mate.
04:13I am Irish, yeah.
04:14Well, me old one and me old lad are,
04:16but we moved to Woking when I was a chis-like.
04:19And do they all speak like you?
04:20You're a guess, mate.
04:23But yeah, we sound the same, to be sure.
04:26Anyway, these brogie, size shucked.
04:29What?
04:30Size shucked.
04:31What?
04:32Size seven!
04:33Yeah, oh yeah!
04:34I'm one of you!
04:35What is that?
04:36What's going on?
04:43Oh!
04:46You're shocked I was that fast?
04:48Now we're sucking diesel.
04:50Oh, thanks, fella.
04:51I'll take these to the till.
04:53I don't need to try them on.
04:54I've already got a pair that are banjacks.
04:56Banjacks?
04:57Banjacks!
04:58Everything you say is bad!
04:59Banjacks!
05:00Banjacks!
05:01What's even going on?
05:04This is an Irish guy.
05:06This is an English guy.
05:08He's an English guy.
05:09He's actually Irish, would you believe?
05:10Um, he's, um...
05:18Shit.
05:19I mean, he really didn't look like a robber.
05:21I'm going to have to give you a written warning here, man.
05:24Ow!
05:29Oh, my God, man.
05:32I'm so sorry.
05:34It's okay.
05:36Did they say how long you have to use that thing for?
05:38Six months.
05:40Ah, God!
05:41Uh, when's your daughter's wedding again?
05:43Friday.
05:44Oh!
05:45Jesus!
05:47Well, actually...
05:48Do you know, just to cheer you up.
05:49It might make you laugh.
05:50There was a fellow upstairs, right?
05:51And he was a proper Cockney geezer.
05:53But everything he said was, like, really Irish.
05:54He was all like,
05:55Oh, Janie Mack, me shoes are banjacks, to be sure, to be sure.
05:59And then he actually robbed the shoes.
06:00The fucking Ken!
06:02Actually, he said his ma spoke like that as well.
06:04Could you imagine that?
06:05Like,
06:06Oh!
06:07I'm an English mummy!
06:08Oh!
06:09You better not leave my immersion on!
06:16Eugene.
06:17Will you help me record something real quick?
06:21Oh!
06:22Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
06:24Who left that bloody immersion?
06:25Fuck!
06:26Hang on one more time.
06:27Oh!
06:28Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
06:29Can you leave that immersion on one more time?
06:31Get off one more time!
06:32I'll grab that one spoon!
06:33It ain't written you all right!
06:35Fucking hell!
06:36What is the length?
06:38Oh!
06:39Jesus!
06:40Mary and Joseph!
06:41Get off one more time!
06:52Oh!
06:53Close that bleeding door!
06:55Are you born in a barn?
06:59You're fired, man.
07:01But why?
07:02Are you serious?
07:04This whole day, man?
07:05You must think I'm bloody made of money!
07:07I don't have any.
07:08You have to go.
07:09Okay, I will.
07:12Oh, will it be shy?
07:13Oh!
07:14I will it be shy!
07:15What is wrong with you?
07:17And what is this?
07:18What is this?
07:19You must think I came down in the last shower.
07:22Because the little birdies hold me.
07:24You have to give me a final written warning to be sure, to be sure.
07:27Are you going to be late again tomorrow?
07:30Probably you.
07:32Thanks for coming in.
07:33Leave the shoes at the till.
07:34Oh, what are we going to do, Eugene?
07:39Eugene?
07:41You all right?
07:42You all right?
07:43Oh.
07:44Oh.
07:45I hide my shit in the closet.
07:48I got some space if you want it.
07:51It's cool.
07:52It isn't a problem now.
07:55Right now.
07:57Oh.
08:00Can we swap?
08:01My wrist is sore.
08:04The wrist is too sore to stir risotto, but completely fine to death grip your flute for an hour.
08:10Oui, chef.
08:12I'm home!
08:13Have dinner!
08:14Woo!
08:19Man, never does this.
08:22Oh, them death grip biceps, though.
08:27Wow, our own little hunter-gatherer.
08:29What did you bring us?
08:30Right, so, like, yellow sticker's finest, right?
08:32Thought we could go for, uh, kind of seven-year-old birthday party vibes.
08:37Okay.
08:38Bang those in the air fryer, would you, brother?
08:4020 minutes on high, right?
08:41And then give the basket a decent shake halfway through.
08:44It's going to be pretty heavy, but, uh, no better man for the job.
08:48So what are we watching?
08:50We are going to watch Riverdance Eurovision 94.
08:54Shit, bad first day.
08:55No, no, it was good.
08:56Um, just want to remember what this country used to be.
09:04What's getting all moving?
09:06And, like, uh, he was, like, English.
09:08And everything he said, everything he said was like that.
09:10It was, like, he was reading from one of those, like,
09:12do you know you're Irish when, you know, kind of things?
09:14It's insane. It's illegal. It should be legal.
09:15But you do have to tell me if he comes in again tomorrow.
09:17Um, yeah.
09:19No, will you?
09:20Mm.
09:21Oh, hang on.
09:22Mm.
09:23Ho, ho, ho!
09:24Bam, bam!
09:25Whoa!
09:26Jesus Christ.
09:27Right.
09:28Sasters are ready.
09:29You know what?
09:30Pretty stuff from the cake butter, but thank you so much.
09:33All right.
09:34Here we go.
09:35What?
09:37Ladies and gentlemen.
09:39River dance.
09:45And now, Jean Butler with the dance of the river woman.
09:48She's dancing in the soft shoe, Irish style.
09:51And now, Earthrise.
09:53Michael Flatley showing his mastery of the hard shoe tap.
09:56Why do you always watch this?
09:58Why do we always watch?
10:00It's only the greatest night in Irish history.
10:02Sorry, why do we...
10:04Hang on.
10:06Why do we hurry up?
10:07River dance.
10:08The haunting vocals of Anuna.
10:10The plucked strings of Bill Whelan.
10:12The grace and poise of Jean Butler.
10:14The flair and intensity of Michael Flatley.
10:16They entwine.
10:17The ensemble joins.
10:18Building to a crescendo where Terry Wogan himself,
10:21lost for words, utters good grief.
10:24The small hair standing up on the back of every Irishman's neck
10:26and just one hour later,
10:29Rock and Roll Kids will win for Ireland a third time in a row
10:33and a record-breaking sixth time overall,
10:36positioning our small island
10:38not just as outright Eurovision champions,
10:40but as a global cultural superpower.
10:46Also, I got sacked today and I almost killed a guy.
10:52Can you find him something else?
10:53He's just gonna do it again.
10:54Look, I take my job seriously and I'm starting to lose credibility as a recruiter.
10:57He just needs the right thing.
10:58He doesn't need the right thing, he's just lazy.
11:00Look, I will sort his rent for this month.
11:02Babe, I love you, but how are we supposed to save for a gaffe
11:04if our tenant only pays rent whenever he can?
11:06Well, he just needs some help.
11:07You help him all the time.
11:09For fuck's sake.
11:10Don't pretend to be asleep.
11:14I hate that.
11:15Stop.
11:16What?
11:17What's going on?
11:18Stop.
11:19Sorry.
11:20Look, Jack is gonna line up some interviews for tomorrow,
11:22but it's the last time, okay?
11:24Sorry.
11:25Last time.
11:26Sorry.
11:27Sorry.
11:30Please try.
11:31So, have you seen Wolf of Wallstreet?
11:45Have I seen Wolf of Wallstreet?
11:46Wolf of Wallstreet?
11:47Yeah, Wolf of Wallstreet.
11:48Yeah, DiCaprio and Scorsese.
11:49Yeah, he's got the car and he can't get in.
11:52Sell me this vape.
11:55Ha.
11:56Ha.
11:57Okay.
11:58Excuse me, madam.
11:59You look like a convicted vapist.
12:01All right.
12:02We got some flavors you wouldn't believe.
12:03You can go.
12:04Hmm?
12:05Oh, yeah.
12:06Oh, God.
12:07That sounds like, yeah, the vapist sounds like a bad thing.
12:10I don't know why I'm a vapist.
12:13So, you follow the clues.
12:15You find the key and then you get the job.
12:17Yeah.
12:18Great.
12:19Easy.
12:20When you see me, I may bring a fright.
12:24Hmm?
12:25But for a child, I bring comfort at night.
12:28Okay.
12:29Okay.
12:38The answer is a lamp.
12:41Ah!
12:42No.
12:43The answer's a doll, man.
12:44What?
12:45Comfort at night.
12:46The key's on the back.
12:47Oh, very good.
12:48Yeah.
12:49You're gonna get comfort for a child.
12:52We take a lot of pride in this place.
12:54I'd say so.
12:55It's gorgeous.
12:56Can I say it?
12:57Thank you so much.
12:58Well, look, we've seen the place.
12:59Let's get to know each other.
13:00Yeah, great.
13:01Where do you see yourself in five years?
13:02Fuck you.
13:03Fuck you.
13:05Welcome to my house post.
13:08Well, yeah.
13:09I've got a suspect in a car.
13:10Сейчас I'm gonna keep right for you.
13:11I'm gonna keep limits.
13:12Sorry, no one is fine.
13:15Hey, please.
13:17Oh, were you bound in a barn? Close the bloody door.
13:29You're a fireman.
13:34But why?
13:39English. English. Mammy.
13:47English.
14:03Hey. Glimted, man.
14:06Might want to get some plastic sheets if you keep shit in the bed so much.
14:08Didn't land any, no.
14:10Not a one. And Terry immediately clocked that you have ADHD.
14:14Oh. Oh, was Terry the Spanish one?
14:16Sophia was the Brazilian one.
14:19Oh, that's bad, isn't it?
14:22Wait, sorry. She thinks of ADHD.
14:25Yeah. Don't you?
14:31That video was so fucking funny. It's got like 12,000 views already.
14:35Fresh spaghetti make we?
14:36Nah, and a big lunch, you're right.
14:37As what?
14:38What?
14:39Are you?
14:44Why did you keep doing the voice, you fucking maniac?
14:50Oh, God!
14:54Okay.
14:55What?
15:06What the hell?
15:08Oh, God.
15:09Oh, God.
15:13What?
15:14Oh, God.
15:17Oh, God.
15:19Anyone wait?
15:20stopping in
15:29no
15:32stop
15:39oh
15:41until
15:44the
15:45inhale