- 5/30/2025
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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-a
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-do-a
00:34Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:37Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:40Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:41Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:44Mr. Brown?
00:48Hello, Miss Courtney.
00:50Why are you creeping about?
00:51I didn't want to disturb you.
00:52Very considerate.
00:54Perhaps you wouldn't mind creeping into the office for a moment.
00:56I want a word with you.
01:00you may sit now mr. Brown the other evening after everyone had gone I went
01:10into the gentleman's toilet I'm sure that was a perfectly natural mistake I
01:14went because the caretaker had complained about the graffiti on the
01:18walls and mr. Brown it is just not good enough I don't know I thought some of it
01:22was rather witty it was disgusting someone had written Enoch Powell rules
01:28okay yes with all due respect I'd hardly call that disgusting it was what was
01:34written underneath that I found most objectionable oh what was that Miss
01:38Courtney is crackers yes well it may not have been one of my students who was
01:43responsible there certainly was how can you be so sure who else but a foreigner
01:47would spell crackers K R A double K E R S well I'll see it doesn't happen again
01:52there's just one more thing mr. Brown yes miss Courtney in a few weeks time your
01:57students will be sitting for their lower Cambridge certificate yes and we're all
02:01looking forward to it I'm sure we're all going to pass with flying colors you have
02:04more faith in them than I have now here is a set of last year's examination papers I
02:09suggest this evening that you set them a mock exam and see how good or otherwise
02:14they are closer all right very good don't forget to be getting my turban in smile please now who want picture yes please one for my brother
02:41two for me also fun for me please me too you two oh two one two one one two for me please that is I am meaning one two as well
03:04not one two one I like also to be having one for me and one for my mother one for my father one for my brother one for my sister one for my uncle and one for my auntie and one for his donkey
03:19don't stickies and stonies may break my bonus but the names will never be hurting me you clever monkey
03:27correcto your book Daniel thank you max it's all right your handbag hey next time you carry the handbag huh
03:39no I think it suits you more hey give me a kiss your handbag thank you Giovanni you just missed it we are having our photographs taken by Taro Taro I would very much like you to take a photograph of me hey I take your picture you have not the camera sure I got the camera at home you come back with me after the class and we take lots of pictures and then we can see what develops hey what you say
04:09I say no I say no you want a picture in classroom yes how about here
04:16how about here
04:18mmm
04:22Bellissima
04:24Morpho
04:25Magnifico
04:26Hey hire excuse please no more hire you are giving me naughty tarts
04:30Me too but I'm liking them very much
04:34I'm liking them very much
04:36now I take them ready ready ready
04:40madre mÃa
04:41no good no good you must be joking she's beautiful
04:46too close can get you know top half or bottom
04:51but you are not taking her bottom
04:53just take the head and the shoulders
04:56yeah you can take one of the legs for me after
04:59okay
05:03very good
05:05ready ready
05:07ready
05:08look at a camera
05:09what's going on here
05:12oh I'm having my photograph taken
05:15really very nice
05:16can you do me a big favor
05:19what sort of favor
05:20I would like to have a photograph taken with you
05:22yes I don't think we've got time for that sort of thing
05:24oh please it's for my mother and father
05:27I've told them all about you and they would love to have a photo
05:30yes well
05:31come on
05:35thank God pray
05:36you all right with you
05:37how
05:38yes
05:39right
05:40you sit here
05:41yeah what about you
05:42I'll sit on your knees
05:44are you sure this is for your parents
05:48of course
05:50really
05:51look at the camera
05:54we were having our photograph taken
05:59I was not aware that photography was included in the curriculum.
06:02Yes well would you all sit down please and uh Danielle would you stand up?
06:06But what about our photo?
06:08Yeah well we'll see about that later all right well sit down.
06:11It was for her parents.
06:13I just came to bring you the answers to last year's examination papers.
06:19Huh.
06:23I hope I didn't get you into trouble.
06:25I'll survive.
06:26All right now before we do anything else I want all the male students to write down the word crackers on a piece of paper.
06:31Crackers?
06:32Yes I want to find out how you spell it.
06:35You don't know how to spell it?
06:37Yes I do but I want to see if you do.
06:40Okay.
06:44Ah so it was you.
06:46Please?
06:47You wrote this on the wall of the gents toilet?
06:49Excuse please I'm not writing anything on the wall of the toilet.
06:53All right then how do you account for the fact that you've spelt crackers?
06:56K-R-A-K-K-E-R-S.
06:58Whereas you looked at everybody else's paper you will discover that they have spelt it.
07:03Well at least you're all consistent.
07:06Right in future please no more writing on walls.
07:08Now pay attention.
07:09In a few weeks time you will all be sitting for your examinations.
07:12That is good.
07:13Much better to be sitting for examination than standing.
07:17I'll rephrase that.
07:18In a few weeks time you will all be taking your lower Cambridge certificate.
07:22And to find out how you're progressing we are going to have a mock exam.
07:26That is to say an imaginary one.
07:29Right during the second half of the lesson I want to see how many you can answer
07:33to find out your strengths and weaknesses.
07:35You can study the questions during the tea break.
07:38I would rather be studying the answers.
07:40Yes I'm sure you would.
07:42Right now firstly have you all done your homework?
07:44Yes.
07:45Good.
07:46Well we'll see how well you've done.
07:48Juan.
07:49Por favor.
07:50For answer did you give to question one explain what is wrong with the following sentence
07:55The cows was in the field.
07:57Ah.
07:58The cows was not in the field.
08:08No one that is not the correct answer.
08:11The cows was in another field.
08:15Cows were in the field.
08:18I didn't see them.
08:20Alright now Ranji question two.
08:23Name the three classes of gender and give an example of each.
08:27Thousand apologies but I answered that question is nothing.
08:31You mean you haven't answered the question?
08:33That is the guess of what I am saying.
08:36I am not comprehending the meaning of the word gender.
08:40Gender is the grammatical classification of the sex of proper nouns.
08:44But you are learning about English not about sex.
08:48You cannot learn sex from books Ranji.
08:51You ever have it or you don't have it.
08:53I have it.
08:54I know all about sex.
08:56Me too.
08:57So may I remind you that we are not here to discuss sex.
08:59Why not?
09:00It is very interesting subject.
09:01Yes I am aware of that but there is a time and a place for everything.
09:02You tell me the time and the place and I shall be there.
09:03Quiet please.
09:04Can we get back to the matter of your homework Ranjiit.
09:05The word gender refers to whether or not a proper noun is masculine or feminine.
09:07Now I am understanding.
09:08And what is the other?
09:09Gender.
09:10Gender.
09:11Gender.
09:12And what is the other?
09:13Other what?
09:14Gender.
09:15There are three classes of gender.
09:16One is masculine.
09:17One is feminine.
09:18And the other is...
09:19Poof!
09:20Neuter.
09:21Thousand apologists.
09:22Right.
09:23Suli.
09:24Yes Mr Blount.
09:25Question three.
09:26Give the feminine of the following.
09:27Lion.
09:28Lioness.
09:29Lioness.
09:30Lioness.
09:31Lioness.
09:32No.
09:33Luh.
09:34Luh.
09:35Ruh.
09:36Ruh.
09:37You are not saying it right.
09:38Fairly soli.
09:39I know.
09:40Try saying ryaness.
09:41What is the other?
09:42What is the other?
09:43Other what?
09:44Gender.
09:45There are three classes of gender.
09:46One is masculine, one is feminine, and the other is...
09:48Luh.
09:49Luh.
09:50Ruh.
09:51You are not saying it right.
09:52Fairly soli.
09:53I know.
09:54Try saying ryaness.
09:55Lioness.
09:56Good.
09:59Well in future every time you see an L pretend it's an R.
10:02Anna.
10:03Yeah.
10:04Feminine of Duke.
10:05Duke S.
10:07Duchess.
10:08Jamila.
10:09Gee.
10:10Now be careful.
10:11The feminine of monkey.
10:13Monkey S.
10:15No.
10:16No.
10:17The feminine of monkey is monkey.
10:19There is no difference between masculine and feminine.
10:22Squeeze please.
10:23You are mistaken.
10:24I am seeing them in the zoo and there is a very big difference.
10:30I am referring to the word itself, not their physical appearance.
10:34Ali.
10:35Yes please.
10:36Question four.
10:37Explain what is wrong with the following sentence.
10:40Waiter, I would like some chops of pork.
10:43Waiter, I would not like some chops of pork.
10:46No, Ali.
10:47That's not right.
10:48Yes please.
10:49It is against my religion to be eating pork.
10:53The word pork is immaterial.
10:55How do you feel about lamb?
10:56Oh blimey.
10:57I like lamb very much.
10:58Right.
10:59Let us suppose that the question read, Waiter, I would like some chops of lamb.
11:03What is wrong with that?
11:04I should be asking for minty sauce.
11:07I should be asking for lamb chops, not chops of lamb.
11:12Jelly good.
11:13Thanks.
11:14Question five.
11:15Quite a hard one this.
11:17Construct a sentence using the word indisposition.
11:21Sure.
11:22Every Saturday I play football and I am being the goalie keeper because I like playing indisposition.
11:34Silence.
11:35Look this is no laughing matter.
11:36If your present standard is anything to go by, you haven't a chance of passing your exams.
11:40Well I suggest you all take an early tea break, study those questions and let's hope that you show some signs of intelligence.
11:45Otherwise we might as well stop wasting each other's time.
11:56Hey Max.
12:00The professor is mad at us.
12:02Sure.
12:03We must do good with these questions.
12:05We've got to get every question right.
12:06How we do that?
12:07I've got an idea.
12:08Profissori has got the answers, right?
12:09So?
12:10So we get them from him.
12:11He's not going to give them to us.
12:12He don't have to.
12:13We steal them.
12:15There you are, dearie.
12:31Tempe, thank you.
12:39There you are, dearie.
12:43Tenpy, thank you.
12:44Who's next?
12:45Me, please.
12:46Oh, tea or coffee?
12:48Hot water.
12:49Hot water?
12:51Yes, please.
12:52I bring my own tea bag.
12:56You can't do that.
12:58But I'm already doing it.
13:00I'm starting economy right.
13:02But that tea bag's already been used.
13:05Most definitely.
13:06I'm making three cups of tea out of one tea baggie.
13:10Well, I'm sorry.
13:11You can't make your own tea.
13:13Oh, blimey.
13:14Then I'm not having any at all.
13:16Next.
13:17Who's next?
13:18Buenas noches, my little flower.
13:20How beautiful you look tonight.
13:23Just like a Madonna.
13:25Are you talking to me?
13:27Si.
13:28No.
13:29No, what?
13:30No, whatever it is you're after.
13:33It's nothing.
13:34Huh?
13:35Well, maybe just one little thing.
13:38Uh...
13:39You see, uh...
13:40I am, uh...
13:42I am a little tall with the money.
13:46I pay for the coffee tomorrow, no?
13:48No.
13:49No money, no coffee.
13:51Ah.
13:52Ah, Ranji.
13:53You are my friend.
13:54Mi amigo.
13:55You lend me ten pence.
13:57I'm only having ten pence.
13:58I'm only having ten pence.
14:00Sorry.
14:03Senora.
14:05Grazie.
14:06Ah, thank you.
14:07Hey, you are taking my last ten pence.
14:10You, my very good friend.
14:12Coffee, please.
14:13Hey, ten pence.
14:14I'm not having any money.
14:15You're not having any coffee.
14:16Can you be lending me ten pence?
14:18Yes, okay.
14:19Thousand thank yous.
14:20But I'm making one condition.
14:21What is that?
14:22I want to hear you say.
14:23All Muslims are nice, kind and wonderful persons.
14:24If I'm saying that, you will be lending you ten pence.
14:25If you are saying that, I will be giving you ten pence.
14:26Very well.
14:44All Muslims are nice and judgment.
14:49Very well all Muslims are nice kind and wonderful persons. Jolly good
14:56There's only one thing what please all seats are very big liars
15:05Because this is very important
15:08He's about the test we have yeah, we gotta do good. Otherwise
15:12We're all in the minestrone in the shoe. That's right now. We have a plan what plan
15:20We pinch the answers that is cheating. That's right. I do not cheat
15:26Perhaps the exam is not too bad. Maybe we can answer the question. Okay. Yeah
15:32It's not too difficult. Let's have a look
15:36Question one construct sentences using the following types of clauses a variable clause of time
15:43Nan clause as object of preposition and main clause coordinate with first
15:50Well Anna how we steal the answers
15:55Mr. Brown
15:56Your students have been at it again. Oh, it's not more graffiti. No, not this time read this
16:01Young virile male student wishes to meet nice lady from cookery class for evenings of mutual pleasure apply Maximilian Papandrias
16:08Kindly informed mr. Papandrias that the notice board is for official notices and not for procuring young women, right?
16:15I'm sure his intentions were quite innocent
16:18Evenings of mutual pleasure
16:20Yes, well, he probably only wanted her to whip up an omelette
16:23Well, tell him to whip up his own omelette
16:26Right, I'll have a word with him
16:28See that you do
16:29No coffee, miss Courtney
16:30Thank you Gladys
16:31Oh, by the way, mr. Brown
16:33How is the mock examination coming along?
16:35Oh, we haven't started it yet. We're gonna get cracking just as soon as we've finished our tea break
16:39Well, I do hope that the results will be good. Otherwise, I shall have to think about axing the course
16:43Axing the course? You wouldn't do that, surely?
16:46I must certainly would
16:47It would be a complete waste of time for them to carry on and sit for an examination. They have no hope of passing
16:53Thank you Gladys
16:57Well, that's it. I've had it
16:59Well, I didn't think your class was as bad as that
17:02Oh, they are at the moment
17:03I'm sure that when the time comes they'll pull through with flying colours
17:05But right at the moment the only thing they like to get right on the test paper is their names and even that's doubtful
17:09Well, you'll have to help them with the answers
17:12What? Give them the answers?
17:13And not exactly give them to them
17:15Just leave them lying around where they can see them
17:18That is cheating
17:19No, not exactly. It's not as though it's a real exam
17:22I mean, you said yourself they'd come out with flying colours
17:25Ah, it's a pity if the course has to be cancelled
17:29All because of failing a mock exam
17:32But you know best
17:35It's much too obvious
17:52How are we stealing the answers?
17:59I know
18:01First we hit him on the head
18:03That's no good
18:05We make too much mess
18:06We've got to get him out of the class
18:08How do we do that?
18:10I don't know
18:11Hey, let's all think
18:15Studying hard?
18:17Officer, you're here
18:19Yes
18:20Sit down
18:23Have a cup of tea
18:25Have two cups of tea
18:27We'll be back, Max
18:29Just a minute, Max
18:30I want to work with you
18:31Me?
18:32I believe that this notice is yours
18:34Sure
18:36I'm afraid that Miss Courtney will not allow you to have that on the notice board
18:39Okay
18:40As a point of interest, did anybody from the cookery class respond?
18:44Sure
18:45She was beautiful
18:46We had a fantastic time
18:47Never before I had such a time
18:49Really?
18:50What does she cook for you?
18:51Cook?
18:52We had a takeaway
18:53Look, where are you going?
18:57We got to spend two p
18:59Well, the phrase is spend a penny
19:00Sure
19:01I spend a penny
19:02He spend a penny
19:05You won't go near the classroom, I hope
19:07No, Professor
19:08Only you see, I've just left the answers on my desk
19:11And I wouldn't want you to be looking at them and copying them down
19:16Would we do that, Max?
19:18No
19:28That would be cheating, Mr Brown, wouldn't it?
19:32Hurry up
19:33Yeah, nearly finish
19:35Alright
19:37You're looking for something
19:41Is Mr Brown in the classroom?
19:43No, Mr Brown is in the tea room
19:45Down the corridor and on your left
19:47I am familiar with the geography of this building
19:50Sure
19:51Would you mind moving?
19:52What for?
19:53I wish to enter the classroom
19:55But Mr Brown is in the tea room
19:56So you have already told me
19:58But I wish to wait for him in the classroom
20:02Okay, Miss Courtney
20:04You want to go into the classroom, Miss Courtney?
20:06I will open the door for you, Miss Courtney
20:08I am not deaf
20:10Oh, Mr Capello
20:11All ready for taking your exam
20:12Sure
20:13All ready
20:14Good
20:15Ah, Miss Courtney
20:16Did you want me?
20:17No, I just thought that I would supervise the class during their mock examination
20:18Yes, well there's no need to do that
20:19I'm quite capable of doing it myself
20:20Mr Brown, when the students take their real exam
20:21You will not be allowed to stay in the classroom, never mind supervise
20:23It's a precaution against any attempt to cheat
20:24Cheat?
20:25Yes
20:26It has been known in the past for an over-enthusiastic teacher to provide his students with the answers
20:30Really?
20:31How contemptible
20:32Now, ladies and gentlemen, you have exactly one hour to complete this paper starting from now
20:43Excuse me, please, Miss Courtney
20:45Can I spend the penny, please?
20:47All right
20:48Yes
20:49Well, ladies and gentlemen, you have exactly one hour to complete this paper starting from now
20:57Excuse me, please, Miss Courtney
20:59Yes
21:00Can I spend the penny, please?
21:01all right but hurry you don't need to take your exercise book with you do just
21:07maybe I think of an answer so I write it down
21:19but come along mr. Nadine yes please where do you go along to we are not
21:26going along to anywhere I just want you to get started on the answers I'll do
21:31my best excuse me please yes toilet please but don't belong here the answers
21:45I put them in my book already good I put them in my book hey I got an Ali range it
21:50one at Daro dinner the girls hockey hey we pretty smart days sure we have no
21:57trouble with this exam I'll be very quick
22:04would you like to go to the toilet mr. Brown no no no at all everyone else has been yes well it's probably the cold weather
22:21I have another five minutes miss Smith I'm finished oh good then I'll take your book
22:29thank you thank you thank you very much thank you I should take these home with
22:41me tonight and mark them personally I do hope they've done reasonably well so do I
22:47otherwise it's the ax oh blimey you're chopping his head off only metaphorically oh you have about two
22:58minutes mr. not messy Sally finished thank you good night everybody I shall see you all tomorrow
23:09oh just a minute miss Courtney won't you work need the answers I shan't need them
23:14mr. Brown however I might as well take them it might speed up the marking oh
23:20is something the matter these are the wrong answers oh these aren't the answers to
23:27last year's paper they're the previous years I must have picked them up by mistake oh I suppose last year's answers must you'll be in my filing cabinet
23:35are you feeling all right mr. Brown you look a little peaky no no I'm fine never felt better
23:57mr. Brown
23:58mr. Brown I marked your students examination papers last night yes well unbelievable I can explain everybody answered every question correctly you see what happened everybody answered every question correctly good lord I told you it was unbelievable it's positively miraculous see for yourself
24:25but these are the answers you gave me last night that's correct but you said they were the previous
24:29years answers yes but I discovered last night that I had also given you the previous
24:33years questions congratulations mr. Brown your students are a credit to you
24:55you
25:01you
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