ADAM and Eve have been together for 10 years and started in a polyamorous relationship. Since 2020 they have dated about 60 people. They are dating coaches and have applied their knowledge to their own dating lives. Adam and Eve have five children and describe their parenting style as ‘pretty standard’. Eve said: “When it comes to our children we didn’t really sit down and have a specific conversation like ‘Mommy and Daddy are polyamorous’ - so for them it’s just another friend until about six months in.” Despite having dated around 60 people, the couple have only properly introduced three of their partners to their children. The couple have faced judgement about their dating lives and misconceptions about their behaviour in front of their children. Adam said: “I don’t believe our dating life impacts our children in any major way, other than to help them be more tolerant and open to other ideals.” They are currently in a relationship with Bella with whom they got romantically involved a few months ago. Their children adore her and especially enjoy baking with her. Eve said: “The best thing about being in a poly relationship is you’re making your own rules. It’s like you have your cake and eat it.”
00:00We're a married couple, and we have a girlfriend.
00:03Since 2020, we have dated about 60 people.
00:07When it comes to our children, we didn't really sit down and have a specific conversation about
00:11mommy and daddy are polyamorous.
00:14Probably took about two and a half months before they were like,
00:17okay, wait a minute, this is somebody special.
00:19I thought Bella really wanted me and maybe didn't really want Eve.
00:24Bella broke it to me that actually she preferred Eve and wasn't really into me.
00:28So I have this guy, he thinks that his outline of ideal woman is impossible to find.
00:35I became an dating coach 18 years ago as an accident.
00:38There are only five skills you need for a woman to find you more attractive.
00:42I actually got voted the number one dating coach in the world three years in a row.
00:45His detail list is so detailed.
00:47What are you telling him?
00:48Well, I'm telling him to revise his list a little bit, basically.
00:51We've been running the company together.
00:53We've helped over 350,000 people in the world get their ideal relationship.
00:59Once he applies this, he will never have a problem with dating ever again.
01:04I know this stuff inside and out and it is impossible to be in a relationship and not apply it.
01:09In our relationship, we have our dynamic, my dynamic with our partner, Eve's dynamic with our partner,
01:16and then our dynamic all together.
01:18So it's a lot more communication.
01:20So you just have to welcome a lot of very uncomfortable discussions that lead to wonderful results.
01:25Oh, let's go home.
01:28Nice.
01:29We've been together for 10 years, almost 11 years.
01:32When we first met at Austin Fashion Week, I was in a relationship with another woman
01:36and she actually saw Eve first and said,
01:40Oh my gosh, I have to date that woman.
01:42And so I went up and said, hi.
01:44I didn't really specifically was seeking for Poliana's relationship per se.
01:48I was going with the flow.
01:49But over time, it developed into a real relationship
01:52and the three of us ended up living together.
01:54For six years, we had children together.
01:56She's still one of our incredibly good friends,
01:58but the relationship part of it has fallen aside and turned into more of a friendship.
02:02And that happened a few years ago now.
02:03And since then, me and Eve have continued that lifestyle and dating other people.
02:11We have five kids.
02:13Oliver, Dante, Orion, Ivy and Story.
02:18Our parenting styles, I would say, pretty standard actually.
02:22I'm more of a strict parent than he is.
02:24I would say I'm the bad cop.
02:25He's a good cop.
02:27We homeschooling our kids because we believe that standard education
02:30is a bit too rigid and not very flexible.
02:33We spend every day with our children.
02:35But they have chores they have to complete in the morning.
02:38They're all very advanced, but they're also social.
02:40Our eldest son, at 14, we have spoken to him about people and relationships.
02:45He knows there is monogamy.
02:46He knows there is polyamory.
02:48Polyamory is dating multiple people at the same time.
02:52They didn't really need to explain to me that they were polyamorous.
02:57I kind of figured it out after a while and they did tell me at a certain point.
03:01But I just realized that my dad dated multiple people and that was just normal to me.
03:08When it comes to our children, we didn't really sit down and have a specific conversation about
03:13mommy and daddy polyamorous.
03:14So for them, we're just not a friend, basically, right?
03:16Until about like six months.
03:20Just want to see how the children interact with the person we're dating as well
03:23before we get serious with anybody.
03:26Like, and that's important.
03:27Have you met many of your parents' partners?
03:29We do get to meet them after a while, but not until they feel comfortable with like making
03:37sure that it'll be okay for them to meet us.
03:39In the last four years, despite the fact that we've dated 60 people, there's really only
03:43been three that have actually interacted with the kids more than at like a group setting.
03:49When I talk to my friends about Bella, I usually do bring up the fact that she is my parents'
03:55partner.
03:55Hi, hon.
03:57Good to meet you.
03:58Well, romantically, we've been together since January, so a couple of months, but I've known
04:04them for years.
04:05There was this really awkward moment where I thought Bella really wanted me and maybe
04:10didn't really want Eve.
04:12Bella broke it to me that actually she preferred Eve and wasn't really into me.
04:16And she's like, you're okay.
04:18She's like, Eve's like a perfect 10 and you're like a six.
04:23And that's accurate numbers.
04:25I hadn't really been in a relationship with three people or two other people before.
04:30It's still like a learning progress type of thing.
04:34Since 2020, we've dated about 60 people, give or take.
04:39We have definitely dated more than one person at a time.
04:43But the dynamic tends to work best when we have the throttle.
04:46Everything else is fun, wild time.
04:48I don't define any specific rigid rules.
04:51It's just a relationship that you make work.
04:54By your own rules.
04:57Family is super accepting.
04:58Friends, mostly accepting.
05:00The friends that aren't accepting have gone.
05:02Yeah, they're not friends, right?
05:03Again, why would I live my life according to someone else's standards, right?
05:07It's my life.
05:08That's my strangers.
05:09We get all kind of reactions.
05:10Some people are very supportive and ethical of questions.
05:13They're the same.
05:15Which, you know, I answer at the time.
05:17And some, of course, are very detrimental, right?
05:18And tell me that I have no self-esteem or no value.
05:21We absolutely have people try telling us that our lifestyle is going to have some kind of negative impact on our children.
05:28I don't believe our dating life impacts our children in any major way.
05:32Other than to help them be more tolerant and open to other ideals.
05:37Are we the best parents in the world?
05:39Probably not.
05:39Yes, we are.
05:40Probably.
05:41Our children don't get confused about our dating life because we don't make our children part of our dating life.
05:46I think a lot of people in some extent of our dating life think we will just live in a big compound and we have a lot of f*** in front of our kids.
05:54So the biggest misconception is that we are too promiscuous and we're damaging our children, basically, which is not against nine members.
06:01Yeah, I think that's true.
06:03That's a massive misconception for us.
06:04Yeah, but still, yeah.
06:05How did you feel when Adam and Eve told you that they had five children?
06:10I was definitely a little overwhelmed at first, but getting to know them, they're so wonderful, they're so cute, and they're so funny.
06:18My age kind of does help me connect with them on levels that they might not.
06:25I definitely still have a lot more, I don't want to say energy.
06:29You guys still have, like, a lot of energy.
06:30Just throw me in the face, she's in, like, 20s, and I'm, like, 80.
06:35I don't think you're almost there.
06:37She's a political adult, I double-checked.
06:42Good job.
06:44I'm making a bear.
06:46We're baking two cakes, a lemon one and a chocolate one.
06:49That's how they met her, was as a friend, and, of course, when she was hanging out, she started baking with them, and they pretty much fell in love with her.
06:56As our relationship developed, they really just knew Bella as a friend that came over, and it probably took about two months, two and a half months, before they were like, okay, wait a minute, like, this is somebody special.
07:07Push in and pull.
07:08There we go.
07:09Good job.
07:10She teach me so much that I'm able to do eggs now.
07:14What does it mean to you to see your children and girlfriend bonding like this?
07:18Very, very special, of course.
07:19It's for me the most important part.
07:20Our kids like her, and she just fits really well.
07:23The best thing about being in a poly relationship is that, again, you're making your own rules.
07:27It's like you have your cake and eat.
07:30If my children grow up to be happy, wonderful people, that's all I really care about.
07:35I just need them to be happy and to be as successful as they want to be in their own world.
07:44I just need them to be happy and to be happy and to be happy for you.
