Kids have a way of surprising us with the funniest, most unexpected things they say—and this compilation is proof! From adorable misunderstandings to brutally honest observations, these little comedians will have you laughing, smiling, and maybe even saying, “Did they really just say that?!”
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FunTranscript
00:00Driving. Keys?
00:04I'm not giving you my keys.
00:07Whoa!
00:09I never want to die in my life!
00:13Everybody's gonna die!
00:18Everybody's gonna die in the blind!
00:22Whoa!
00:25You guys get a dog. What are you gonna name it?
00:27Nittles.
00:30Okay, we'll see you.
00:40Bye, we love you.
00:42Okay, what did Harvey say?
00:45Cow poop.
00:46What do you want to say?
00:48Cow poop.
00:49I want to be a marshmallow.
00:52What would you do if you were a marshmallow?
00:55I would just wobble around.
00:59You would what?
01:01I would just wobble around.
01:03Wobble around?
01:04With joy.
01:05What is your tattoo?
01:07It's the quesadilla.
01:09A what?
01:11It's a quesadilla.
01:13Tell me what you're doing right now at the dinner table.
01:16I'm medifying.
01:17Who are you, Brennan?
01:19Um, Batman.
01:21No.
01:22He's not Batman.
01:24I'm Batman.
01:25He's not Batman.
01:26I'm Batman!
01:27He's not Batman.
01:29He's not Batman.
01:30I'm Superman too.
01:33Oh, you're Superman too?
01:34Yeah, I'm Superman too.
01:36But you're not Batman.
01:38I'm Batman!
01:40I'm Batman.
01:41I'm Batman.
01:42I'm Batman.
01:43Look, it's getting smaller.
01:45Isn't that so funny?
01:46It is so funny.
01:47But it's getting cute!
01:49I don't want no one.
01:57It's not funny.
01:59It's not funny.
02:01I've got a...
02:04Oh!
02:06I did it.
02:08Whoa!
02:09Who's gonna win?
02:10Me!
02:11But you cheat!
02:13Yeah, so I'm gonna win!
02:15Oh!
02:16I love you!
02:19Do you love Grandma?
02:20I love Grandpa.
02:24What?
02:25I love you!
02:26I love you.
02:30Is it good?
02:31It was like pecks.
02:35He pecks, so.
02:38So you'd name him what?
02:40Pecker.
02:41We can also get to know each other if you'd like.
02:44Please stop, please stop, I need to go wash my hands.
02:47See, it's fun to build them like this.
02:49Nope, it's not to play.
02:52What do you mean?
02:53But I like to build them like this, it's fun.
02:55Yeah, what's that?
02:56What happened?
02:57I just broke her tooth.
02:59How'd you break Kenzie's tooth?
03:01Trying to play lion.
03:02You were trying to play lion?
03:04Yeah.
03:05And what did you do?
03:07We just kind of, we just kind of play lion.
03:12Yes.
03:13Wow.
03:14I just broke her tooth.
03:17You broke her tooth?
03:18Yeah.
03:19And I'm grateful for everybody is so happy
03:24that I'm very cute and I'm very grateful for everybody being so, so happy.
03:32Explain to me again why you can't pick up the fellows.
03:35I can't pick up the fellows because I got wiggly hands.
03:41Your hands are too wiggly to pick up the fellows.
03:43Yeah.
03:44Hello?
03:45It's funny.
03:47Fun.
03:48My daddy's working now.
03:49No, it's my dad.
03:51No, it's my dad.
03:52No, it's my dad.
03:53No, it's my dad.
03:54No, it's my dad.
03:55No, it's my dad.
03:56No, it's my dad.
03:57It's both of our dads.
03:58It's a specific.
03:59Is it specific?
04:00No.
04:01Spific.
04:02Spific.
04:03Spific.
04:04Spific?
04:05No.
04:06Spific.
04:07Spific?
04:08Spific?
04:09Specific.
04:10Specific.
04:11Specific.
04:12Specific.
04:13Specific.
04:14Specific.
04:15Specific.
04:16Specific.
04:17Specific.
04:18I said it.
04:19Specific.
04:20What's your favorite animal?
04:21A hippopotamus.
04:22I like them big.
04:23I like them chunky.
04:24This is not a famous golf player.
04:25That right there is Joe Biden.
04:26This is Joe Biden.
04:27Right here.
04:28What?
04:29What?
04:30I'm sorry, but I did not understand your response.
04:31Here is the question again.
04:32I don't know.
04:33I don't.
04:34I don't.
04:35I don't.
04:36Alexa.
04:37I'm not doing it.
04:38Ever.
04:39What is that?
04:40A crock roach.
04:41A what?
04:42I don't know.
04:43I don't know.
04:44I don't.
04:45I don't know.
04:46Alexa.
04:47I'm not doing it.
04:48Ever.
04:49What is that?
04:50A crock roach.
04:51A what?
04:52A crock roach.
04:53A what?
04:54A crotch roach.
04:55A crock roach.
04:56Um, hello, pitties.
04:58Um, there's a woman that won't take care of a child.
05:02Um, the woman's going out.
05:06So, bye.
05:07Bye.
05:11Alexa.
05:12Do storks really bring babies?
05:15Here's something I found on the web.
05:19According to igin.com, storks deliver babies, or at least they have babies.
05:23Or at least they used to.
05:25What the heck?
05:26Say chiropractor.
05:27Chiropractor.
05:28Chiropractor.
05:30Mommy goes to the.
05:32Chiropractor.
05:33Mommy goes to the chiropractor.
05:36Chiropractor.
05:37Hank, what are you reading?
05:39A Bible.
05:40A Bible.
05:41You're reading the Bible.
05:42Okay.
05:43What does the Bible say?
05:44Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle.
05:47All away.
05:48All away.
05:49All away.
05:50Through the light.
05:51One horse.
05:52Open.
05:53Say.
05:54What did you just say?
05:55Booker.
05:56What about your booker?
05:57I just ate it.
05:58You just ate it?
05:59Mm-hmm.
06:00Why did you do that?
06:03Because I like bookers.
06:05What are these?
06:06Those are noodles.
06:07Noodles!
06:08For what?
06:09Sure.
06:10And dinner?
06:11Whatever.
06:12Okay, guys.
06:13You're gonna have a little brother.
06:17No!
06:18Yay!
06:19It's a baby boy.
06:21Tell me what you think about dinner.
06:25Not really good.
06:27What are you saying?
06:28Squirrel.
06:29Squirrel.
06:30No, shri-o.
06:31Squirrel.
06:32Squirrel.
06:33Shri-o.
06:34Shri-o.
06:35Oh, no.
06:36She's sick.
06:37Yeah.
06:38What does she have?
06:40What's that, Irina?
06:42Oh, no.
06:43Farting now.
06:44We live.
06:45I like to fart.
06:47I like to fart.
06:48I like to fart.
06:50I like to fart!
06:52Apples!
06:53What about the apples?
06:54I don't like them in my apple sauce.
06:57She's always annoying me.
07:01Yeah, she's always annoying me when it's work time.
07:05Get out of here!
07:06What kind of bread are you making?
07:07I'm making banana bread.
07:09Listen, what else does it have in it?
07:12It has coconuts and peaches and almonds.
07:20Mmm, banana nut bread.
07:22When I tell you something, you won't be angry to me.
07:26I'm not angry to you.
07:28You need to say, it's okay.
07:30I always do say, it's okay.
07:32But, if you've been angry again, you won't get no presents from Santa.
07:39You need to say, it's okay when I be bad.
07:43Isn't it raining?
07:44It's not raining.
07:45Oh, no, no, no.
07:46I have to go poo so badly.
07:48Why are you doing that?
07:50Yeah.
07:51Because, if there's someone writing around your mouth, you can throw your teeth out to them.
07:56It hits them right in the nose and then...
08:01Be happy.
08:02Be happy, happy.
08:04Be happy, happy.
08:09Mmm....
08:10Oh no!
08:11Be happy.
08:12Beerid be happy.
08:14I gotta die.
08:15I'm gonna die!
08:18I'm gonna die!
08:24we die. We go on a grape. What's this? What's this? Octopus. Octopus. Civilization. What's
08:43the real word? Civilization. I'm going to call you on the phone. Hi. Shut up.
08:54Daddy broke it. Daddy broke it? Yeah. Daddy broke what? My heart. It broke my heart. I broke
09:05your heart? Yeah. How? I'm stressed. What did I do? You should love me. What are you looking
09:17for Landon? Hey, Mo. I got food for you. Are you going to come out again? Because I saw
09:24Mo. See? It's way down in there, but you can't see it. But I can because kids can see very
09:32seriously. Microorganisms. Yeah. Can you say that word? Yeah. Microorganisms. Good job.
09:39Good job. Yeah. What did that word? Sigh. It doesn't sound right. I'm sorry if that's
09:47what the words are. Yeah. You should try the new books. Are you trying to create a voice
09:53profile for a child? Well, I am. Well, I'm a kid, actually. But I'm a boy, kid. Tell me
10:06what you want me to do. I want you to take my shirt off so I can wrestle you and fight you
10:11up. Do it. Do it. So you want me to take your shirt off so you can fight me? Yeah. Would
10:18you rather lick the bottom of your shoe or eat your own burger? Eat my own burger because
10:27I eat them all the time. You need to be a baby. I'm a baby. I tell you. I'm a baby. No,
10:32you're a baby. You're still a baby. Where? Yes. Where? Let go of the door. Let go of the
10:42door. Here. Are you saying mommies and daddies don't eat treats?
10:48Mommy and daddies eat lunch but can't eat candy. What do you want to say to your 20-year-old
10:59self? Just rock out. Just rock out? Yeah, that's pretty good advice. I know how to be good,
11:06but people just be mean to me. And they don't know how to be good. They tell me to be bad
11:13and they try to get me in trouble and I'm trying to get them to be good and they trying to get me in
11:18trouble. What does a giraffe say? Stop. Yeah, that's your spit on my phone. Gross. No, it's so pretty.
11:29It's so pretty.
11:30It's so pretty.
11:30It's so pretty.
11:32It's so pretty.
11:33Not yet, not yet.
11:34Not yet, not yet.
11:36Not yet, not yet.
11:39Not yet, not yet.
11:41Not yet, not yet.
11:43Not yet.
11:44Do you?
11:46What the tooth is going on?
11:50Mounce.
11:51Is that another tooth?
11:52You mouth the total poison.
11:54There's a monkey tooth.
11:56Can you say hi to the fish?
11:58No.
11:59What was that?
12:02I'll eat it.
12:05If you got sketches on, get it out of my face, bro!
12:17What did you like about your dinner tonight?
12:21Nothing.
12:23What are you doing?
12:26What are you doing?
12:27Why, why do you look like a smurf?
12:31Dania, why do you look like a Smurf?
12:34Go Yankees.
12:36No.
12:37Go Red Sox.
12:39Go Yankees.
12:41No, go Red Sox.
12:42No way.
12:43Go Yankees.
12:44No, you're not.
12:45Happy birthday to you.
12:50Happy birthday to you.
12:54Happy birthday, dearie.
12:57It's hot.
12:58It's hot?
12:59It's hot.
12:59It's blowing out.
13:00Blow.
13:02That's you.
13:04Happy birthday.
13:08What is that?
13:11Her name is Mrs. Fluffybutt?
13:13Yeah.
13:14Is there a mister?
13:16Oh, he's over there.
13:17Can you show me him?
13:20He'll come with me.
13:22He's up here.
13:24What is Mr. Fluffybutt doing?
13:26He's coming down to the landing.
13:28Get your blankets out of my room.
13:29Where's lips again?
13:41See?
13:42Are those two lips?
13:44No.
13:45Nine lips.
13:46They're nine lips?
13:49Why are they nine lips?
13:51He can't look.
13:54One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
14:04I missed a piece.
14:06Count your money.
14:07One, two, three, five, five, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.
14:18How much money you got?
14:19Thirteen.
14:21Woo, woo.
14:23Owl, come down.
14:26Woo, woo.
14:27Owl, come down.
14:29We're afraid of the lion.
14:31Woo.
14:32This is a blue owl.
14:35I'm stepping on the grass.
14:38Yeah.
14:39We're gonna die.
14:42Tee-Dee.
14:45Tee-Dee.
14:49Tee-Dee.
14:51Tee-Dee.
14:52Tee-Dee.
14:54Tee-Dee.
14:54Where did he come from?
15:02Tee-Dee.
15:03Tee-Dee.
15:04Tee-Dee.
15:05Tee-Dee.
15:05Tee-Dee.
15:05Tee-Dee.
15:06This kid is too much, so he was making himself a corndog, but he said there's ice up here, so he had to go get his blower to blow it off.
15:20It's not working.
15:21What does it mean to fly so low?
15:23Like, there's only one person, like, there's only one person in an airplane who flies so close to, like, so close by the Atlantic Ocean, but she's not even touching it.
15:41But she's so low?
15:43Yeah, but she's so close to it.
15:45What are you thankful for?
15:47I'm thankful for the Hokey Pokey.
15:49Are you thankful for anything else?
15:51Yep.
15:51What's that?
15:52You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake your arm out.
16:00You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around.
16:04That's what it's all about.
16:06You're going to be brave on this swing?
16:08Yeah.
16:09Okay, you ready?
16:10Yeah.
16:11No screaming.
16:11No! No! No!
16:14No!
16:17I'm so thankful!
16:19What are you doing?
16:20I'm on karate mode.
16:22How do you get to karate mode?
16:24You put one and then you go to things.
16:27Boy, you're so into the Nintendo Switch.
16:30Yeah.
16:30Well, I didn't know that.
16:32Things that we eat for birthday parties that have frosting on them that's so yummy.
16:37What are those called?
16:38Buttcakes!
16:39What are they?
16:40Buttcakes!
16:40Wait, what?
16:42Buttcakes!
16:42Buttcakes?
16:43Buttcakes!
16:43Buttcakes!
16:45Buttcakes!
16:46What bit me?
16:49Busquity!
16:53A what?
16:54Busquity!
16:55Diddy.
16:56You mean a mosquito?
16:59Yeah.
17:00Okay, what's your story?
17:01What do you need to tell me?
17:02I went to the bathroom and pooped,
17:05then I flushed the toilet,
17:07then the poop went away,
17:09the big poop,
17:10but not the little poop that I flushed.
17:12So many times,
17:14then I came over here and told you a question,
17:17and I went back in there,
17:19then there's some water coming out of the toilet.
17:23Hey, you need to sit down.
17:26I'm done for the day.
17:27I want you to put your period, please.
17:31What is a period?
17:33A period!
17:35A dot?
17:36A dot.
17:38You don't want to be six?
17:40No, six is a bad number.
17:44I want to be five again.
17:47Tell me what happened.
17:48I pooped.
17:51What's diarrhea?
17:52Diarrhea is what about when you get in trouble?
17:57Oh, is that what diarrhea is when you get in trouble?
17:59Martial arts.
18:01Martial arts are when you have a piece of paper
18:04or the painting thing or portrait,
18:11you take a marker and you draw a line down
18:18and a line in the middle.
18:20Then you draw the same thing,
18:23but you draw it with different colors.
18:26That's martial arts?
18:27Yes.
18:28What do you want to be when you grow up?
18:30A doctor.
18:31What kind of doctor?
18:33A baby doctor.
18:34Do you know what a baby doctor is called?
18:38Mm-mm.
18:39A pediatrician.
18:42A pediatrician.
18:44Why do you look weird?
18:46I do not want it out.
18:48Hmm?
18:48I do not want it out.
18:50What's wrong?
18:52My hair, my hair is lost.
18:54Your hair is lost.
18:57Why is your hair lost?
19:00Because I can't find it.
19:02Ready or not, here I come.
19:08I found you.
19:09Ah!
19:10I'm a tiny baby.
19:12Do you know where we are?
19:14Where?
19:15We're in San Antonio.
19:17Where?
19:18Do you know what's in San Antonio?
19:20I don't know.
19:21Sea World.
19:22Sea World?
19:24Yeah.
19:25Do you want to go to Sea World?
19:27I don't want to go in.
19:28I don't want to go in water.
19:31Bye.
19:32Toodles.
19:33Boop.