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GamingTranscript
00:00Faya is unapologetically enthusiastic, especially when it comes to taking care of the sick and
00:07injured, like any good doctor. Well, she's this close to being a doctor. Just four years removed
00:15from finishing medical school and three years of residency. But if you need a band-aid and a kiss
00:23on a bruised knee, she's your gal. Faya is played by Zahra Farzl.
00:32You see a medic with bright eyes, a kind smile and a sort of maternal air about her.
00:37She doesn't even wait for your introduction, greeting you cheerfully.
00:41Oh my, hello there. A fresh face. Here to see the doctor, are you?
00:53I might look like any old Jane, but I'll have you know that you are looking at a
01:00truly top-notch medical professional and the only one around for miles.
01:14Whether you've got a tummy ache or a life-threatening ulcer, I'm your gal.
01:18She pauses, looking you up and down, hopefully.
01:22Do you have a life-threatening ulcer?
01:31You've never seen anyone more disappointed to hear of your good health.
01:35Aw, heck. I do get my hopes up, you know.
01:39One of these days, someone is gonna bust through that door, bleeding from orifices,
01:43natural and contrived, and boy, oh boy, what a red-letter afternoon that'll be.
01:51Well, I suppose it would be to a lay person.
01:59But to us medical folk, it's a delicious challenge.
02:02Oh, bandages! They are the first line of defense when the interior of the body
02:15has the temerity to propose to become the exterior.
02:18Get back in there, blood! Back to your proper course's lymph!
02:22And you, skin, have a little help controlling this raging horde of fluid and marrow.
02:29Band-aids are basically magic.
02:30Oh, I could go all day.
02:34Anything that you might need, hydrocortisone, non-latex gloves, even a simple pen,
02:39that darling lacerated one will be duck soup.
02:41Sounds. Something is drawing my eye. My metasenses are tingling.
02:54Better let me take a look at that wound of yours.
02:57You sneaky little sufferer!
03:00Thought you could slide one by me under cover of metacarpals, eh?
03:03Just to double-check, you don't need an injection or two.
03:16Take it from me, dear. You're better off safe than sorry.
03:24After all, if there's any sign of rash, you won't know it's there unless we do a thorough examination.
03:29And even then, well, I'm afraid there's always a chance for scarlet fever.
03:41Whatever century this is, it is a century where proper medical care is an essential right of all beings!
03:47And I am here to provide said right.
03:50Now, produce your fingers, please.
03:52Faria looks you up and down, tapping her chin as she considers you from every angle.
04:08Exactly what I thought.
04:16No need to be anxious. We caught it just in time.
04:18You do indeed possess a splinter.
04:27But it's not just any old splinter, dear.
04:30What you have is a deep, deep splinter.
04:34Plenty of tender flesh open to infection, just waiting for those little microbial monsters to set in.
04:39Do you know what that means?
04:40And how?
04:48And that's just the beginning.
04:52Because once the infection's done a number on you, and your poor, beleaguered immune system staggers back onto the field of battle for another round with the enemy,
05:00You watch helplessly as your body swells, and burns, and turns all different shades of red, pink, and yellow, and the true engine of the enemy rolls up to the line!
05:13Dang green!
05:14And before you know it, we'll have to amputate entirely!
05:28I know. This stuff is not for the faint of heart.
05:38Once it's bad enough, my poor new friend, I'm afraid the whole appendage will have to come off.
05:43Preventing spread and all.
05:46I'm sad to say we lose many a good limb to splinters every year.
05:50The world is dramatic. Drama isn't necessarily a bad thing, you know?
06:01Drama can be the spice of life. Like cinnamon. Or penicillin!
06:07Bottom line is, you have got to stay vigilant.
06:11The world's a scary place, and your body is a fragile, fragile thing.
06:16One wrong move, and you can throw it into total and utter chaos.
06:20A veritable breeding ground for every bomb, dick, and hairy slate of diseases ready to eat you whole!
06:27You never know what the seemingly tiniest, laughable symptom can mean.
06:31For example, got a case of bad breath?
06:34Maybe you just ate a sandwich with too many onions.
06:37Or, your breath stinks like a dead fish on a hot Sunday because you've managed to develop halitosis
06:43as a result of the toxic substances in your body not being filtered out properly because your liver is failing.
06:55Maybe.
06:56A totally legitimate possibility.
06:59You can never be too careful.
07:01And when something does go wrong?
07:03Well, it's my job to make sure you're all fixed up.
07:07And I'll have you know, I take my job very, very seriously.
07:13The doctor's duty is to keep their patients alive and kicking.
07:21That's a big responsibility.
07:23So you can bet your behind, I make sure to cross all my T's and dot all my I's.
07:28Sometimes even twice.
07:29When there is no more sickness.
07:42Horse feathers.
07:49Girl, female, not boy.
07:51Oh, you were expressing consternation.
07:57Frustration.
07:59Got it.
08:01Anywho.
08:02It doesn't look like you've got any type of rash after all.
08:05Just that splinter looking awful uncomfortable there.
08:09Let's get that taken care of.
08:11And then...
08:12Presto!
08:13You're all patched up.
08:15There you go.
08:18Good as new.
08:21And if you do develop any plague-like symptoms, well, that's what I'm here for.
08:32You'd better.
08:33I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:36Medical professional pharyas always just to sniff, sneeze, and groan of discomfort away.
08:40I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:41I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:42I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:43I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:44I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:45I'll keep the tissues ready.
08:46Bye-bye.
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