- 5/20/2025
Game Changer S07E01 One Year Later
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FunTranscript
00:00:00Get ready for the game-changer tonight's guests.
00:00:07He'll charm the mom out of you, it's Jacob Wysocki.
00:00:11If you're a mom, I love ya.
00:00:14Preeminent Evelyn Tucci scholar, Vic Michaelis.
00:00:18Oh, they're ready to go.
00:00:21Dangerous, dangerous.
00:00:22And 3, 2, 1, come, it's Lou Wilson.
00:00:28It was me the whole time.
00:00:31And your host to me, I've been here the whole time.
00:00:36This is Game Changer, the only game show where the game changes every show.
00:00:40I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:00:42I am joined today by these three lovely contestants now.
00:00:47You all understand how the game works.
00:00:49Come on, man.
00:00:50Never did, never will.
00:00:51Sam, you know what's up, baby.
00:00:52That's right, our players have no idea what game it is they're about to play.
00:00:55The only way to learn is by playing.
00:00:58The only way to win is by learning.
00:00:59And the only way to begin is by beginning.
00:01:01So without further ado, let's begin.
00:01:03Players, welcome to the Game Changer Intelligence Agency.
00:01:07The season six, we shot Sam Says 3 this morning.
00:01:13Lou is still drunk on champagne.
00:01:15Yeah!
00:01:17I've been chugging coffee, trying to feel normal.
00:01:19But, you know, hard to break a habit.
00:01:22Ash, if you could please bring out the dossiers.
00:01:27Thank you, Ash.
00:01:28Thank you, Ash.
00:01:29Players, inside each of those dossiers, you will find 15 challenges.
00:01:35To accomplish those challenges, you have one year.
00:01:43On your mark, get set, go.
00:01:46You're an absolute bastard.
00:01:50I'm still drunk.
00:01:51Oh, my fucking God.
00:01:53That collects the most box of people's hair we have.
00:01:58What? What number is that?
00:02:00The last one.
00:02:01I'm pissed, dude.
00:02:11Would you look at the time.
00:02:13Please welcome back to the stage, Jacob Wysocki, Vic Michaelis, and Lou Wilson.
00:02:19Hi, Sam.
00:02:20How are you?
00:02:21Hey, Sam.
00:02:22I don't think I've ever been more out of the loop as to what a Game Changer episode is about to be.
00:02:29Who, who, who, who, who?
00:02:31I don't know what's going on.
00:02:34Well, I'll start off.
00:02:35I got you something.
00:02:36Just a little thank you for thinking of me.
00:02:38This is so ominous.
00:02:40Just hold on to that.
00:02:41So ominous.
00:02:42Did you feel that as well when they were standing next to each other for a second?
00:02:45It was kind of like...
00:02:46Who's who?
00:02:47There's an elephant in the room.
00:02:48It's been a crazy fucking year, Sam.
00:02:49Yeah, if I knew I was going to be performing at Madison Square Garden, I would not be here.
00:02:56Then, after a regular shit ton of ado, let's begin.
00:03:01Your first challenge.
00:03:03Who can make the best outfit to wear to the taping a year from now?
00:03:09Jacob, we'll start with you.
00:03:11Yeah, I'll go ahead and just kind of flaunt it.
00:03:13Oh, hit it.
00:03:15Fucking get him.
00:03:16Hit it.
00:03:17Oh, shit.
00:03:18Be a little sneaky, like you know something that we don't know.
00:03:20Sam, you wish you wore it this good, man.
00:03:22I swear, dude.
00:03:23Honestly, it's a little upsetting.
00:03:25You know, it's no animal shirt.
00:03:27And there's a bit of me that feels kind of naked.
00:03:29And that's vulnerability, and that's what you want because you're sick.
00:03:34Vic, what is happening here?
00:03:36As you can see, I'm also dressed as Sam.
00:03:41This outfit is paying homage to the giant squid.
00:03:45It is all handmade.
00:03:47Gorgeous.
00:03:48Let's give it up for the tentacles.
00:03:49Is there something that the giant squid means to you?
00:03:52No, thank you.
00:03:56Lou, from where I'm standing, this doesn't yet look like much.
00:04:00The outfit I'm wearing today, it exists in three parts.
00:04:03Past, present, and future.
00:04:05We'll begin with the past.
00:04:07A wristwatch, hand crank.
00:04:09The strap is custom made with the initial words from most Game Changer episodes.
00:04:13I've been here.
00:04:14And then what every watch captures the whole time.
00:04:17This is an I've been here the whole time piece.
00:04:20Wow!
00:04:21Next, I'll provide a representation, an homage to the present.
00:04:29I put forward my body.
00:04:33While it cannot be said that the mind ever truly lives in the present,
00:04:36the body is the vessel through which we experience every present moment.
00:04:39And then Sam, I would ask that you, with that phone there, bring on the future.
00:04:43What?!
00:04:44Right now, my outfit exists for Sam on this phone in augmented reality.
00:04:49Please don't laugh at me because I'm standing naked in a room full of people,
00:04:52but I'm wearing a sick outfit. It's super sick and from the future.
00:04:55I can confirm that it's freaking sick!
00:04:58Unbelievable.
00:04:59Unreal.
00:05:00Lou, for sheer innovation alone, we are going to say three points for you.
00:05:05Vic, I'm going to say two points for you.
00:05:08Jacob, one point for you.
00:05:11Wild to learn that that's how the points are working.
00:05:13Yeah, like that's tough, man.
00:05:15I guess we're going to move on.
00:05:16Yeah, we live in a modern world and I guess you can't be naked all the time.
00:05:20I was excited. The fans would be too.
00:05:22You know, that's more than five dollars a month, you know?
00:05:24That's a different paywall.
00:05:25That brings us to our next challenge.
00:05:27Who can take the most impressive celebrity selfie?
00:05:32Lou, we'll start with you.
00:05:34Sam, you know I interact with a lot of celebrities in my day-to-day life.
00:05:37As the on-air announcer for Jimmy Kimmel Live,
00:05:40the number of celebrities that came through who I was like,
00:05:44ooh, maybe.
00:05:45And then I would walk downstairs to the green room
00:05:48and I would just have like a light anxiety attack
00:05:52and be like, I never will ask the next one.
00:05:54Well, especially as a part of your job.
00:05:56That's kind of tough.
00:05:57So I ended up calling on...
00:05:58Oh, Guillermo!
00:06:00The number one sidekick for ABC's hit late night show,
00:06:04Jimmy Kimmel Live, Guillermo Rodriguez.
00:06:07That's a great photo.
00:06:08He's really funny.
00:06:10Good job, buddy.
00:06:11Next up, Jacob.
00:06:12I think I got a picture with the biggest celebrity of all.
00:06:16And that is with our brave firefighters.
00:06:19A male nurse.
00:06:20Wow.
00:06:21And my best friend, Kurt Maloney.
00:06:23These are the people that should be famous.
00:06:27Now if I don't give you points, I look like an asshole.
00:06:30Who do you support and what are your values and ethics?
00:06:33Sam, I'm so sorry.
00:06:34Can I ask a clarification question?
00:06:35Yes.
00:06:36Was it celebrity's selfie?
00:06:37Celebrity selfie.
00:06:38It's not plural?
00:06:39Correct.
00:06:40Oh, interesting.
00:06:41Vic is insane.
00:06:42I don't know.
00:06:43Sam, do not listen to this weird.
00:06:46All right?
00:06:47Vic.
00:06:48We can just do the photo.
00:06:49Yeah.
00:06:51Vic, who is this?
00:06:53Sam, are you serious?
00:06:54Yes, I'm sorry.
00:06:55I don't know who this is.
00:06:56Go to the next one.
00:06:57Yeah, there.
00:06:58You got a lot happier.
00:06:59I'm sorry.
00:07:00I'm sorry.
00:07:01If I'm supposed to know who this is, I actually don't know who this is.
00:07:02Are you serious?
00:07:03Does everybody know who this is?
00:07:04Oh, my God.
00:07:05Sam, do the next photo.
00:07:06Does that answer your question?
00:07:07Sam, do you know what's going on now?
00:07:10Who do you think that is?
00:07:11Is this Evelyn fucking Tucci?
00:07:14No, it's Marilyn Groggins, Walter Groggins' paternal grandmother.
00:07:18Beloved character actor.
00:07:20She loves cooking.
00:07:21She did the intro for Stanley's cookbook.
00:07:23It's the mother of...
00:07:25Beloved performer, Walter Groggins.
00:07:29By Walter Groggins, you mean Walton Goggins?
00:07:32I was like, is that who you meant?
00:07:35The guy from Fallout.
00:07:37Big teeth.
00:07:38Big teeth.
00:07:39That is outrageous.
00:07:40I am going to say two points for Lou, one point for Jacob for making me feel guilty,
00:07:45and one point away from Vic Michaelis for bringing this back after four episodes.
00:07:52That's illegal.
00:07:53I honestly didn't think that that was possible.
00:07:55It is fun to be learning new rules.
00:07:57Next up, who can bring in the coolest free item from a Craigslist post?
00:08:04Lou, we'll once again start with you.
00:08:06I found a jet ski.
00:08:08Oh my God!
00:08:11There it is.
00:08:12Okay.
00:08:13She's gorgeous.
00:08:14How on earth was this free?
00:08:16Well, they had been left in a storage locker in Long Beach,
00:08:19so I hopped in a U-Haul with two of my friends.
00:08:21We drove down there, loaded her up, brought her back,
00:08:24and then I was able to reupholster it and fix her up a bit.
00:08:27Definitely spiffed up.
00:08:28Yeah.
00:08:29It looks great.
00:08:30I love that.
00:08:31Objectively, a jet ski is a very cool item.
00:08:33There it is.
00:08:34Jacob.
00:08:35A jet ski is a motorcycle for the water.
00:08:38I tried to get a real motorcycle.
00:08:41Oh, baby!
00:08:43Damn!
00:08:45Jay is my baby.
00:08:47That looks like a very cool motorcycle.
00:08:50It started with the Craigslist post.
00:08:52Yeah.
00:08:53I'm getting rid of my husband's motorcycle.
00:08:56We got a baby on the way, and it's just too dangerous now.
00:08:59So I called Jenna.
00:09:00Then go ahead and read what Jenna said.
00:09:02Thanks for talking with me, Jason.
00:09:04I have been very busy and nervous about the baby and been doing so much.
00:09:08It was nice to have someone ask how I am feeling.
00:09:11Sorry if my crazy ass talked too long, lol.
00:09:15Let's go ahead and show the next slide.
00:09:16This was a 42-minute phone call that I had with expecting mother Jenna.
00:09:21She was afraid that her husband would be mad that the bike was gone,
00:09:24so she wanted me to pick it up when he was not home.
00:09:26Oh, whoa!
00:09:27The only caveat is I don't know how to drive a motorcycle.
00:09:32So I signed up for motorcycle classes,
00:09:35passed the course,
00:09:37and now I have a Class M1 motorcycle license.
00:09:41Jake!
00:09:42I was able to pick up the bike, met Jenna, had a lovely chat,
00:09:45tried to get out of there as soon as I could.
00:09:49So, Jake, you got a motorcycle and a motorcycle license.
00:09:53And maybe I'm the godfather of Jenna's kid.
00:09:56Who knows?
00:09:57That's a really cute and very sweet story.
00:09:59I love that.
00:10:00Sam, you know what's cooler than a jet ski?
00:10:03What?
00:10:04Two fucking jet skis.
00:10:06No, dude!
00:10:08No way!
00:10:09Wait a second!
00:10:10Fuck!
00:10:11Second!
00:10:12Fuck!
00:10:13Here it is.
00:10:14This one says,
00:10:17I mean, we all know what Sea-Doos lead to.
00:10:21Can I just get confirmation that you picked up two jet skis
00:10:24and then held back on one?
00:10:25In order to make the second one pop?
00:10:27Hell yeah.
00:10:28Wow.
00:10:30Okay.
00:10:31I just wanted something that I thought would be, like,
00:10:33kind of lovely and kind of whimsical,
00:10:35and then I came across this.
00:10:42Gizmo has been with me since I was five years old.
00:10:46You have one of these?
00:10:47And went missing a number of months ago.
00:10:50Holy shit.
00:10:51Wait, what?
00:10:52You!
00:10:53Can we bring out the next item?
00:10:55Thanks.
00:10:56No, you hold on to this.
00:10:57Seriously.
00:10:58Oh, my God.
00:10:59I didn't know yours was missing.
00:11:00You take that.
00:11:01Thank you so much.
00:11:02And then I found this.
00:11:03How cute is this?
00:11:04What is that?
00:11:05That is a birthday card from my aunt.
00:11:07Sam, you have one of these, too?
00:11:08I do!
00:11:09I'm gonna let you hold on to that.
00:11:10Thank you so much.
00:11:11And you found these things on Craigslist for free?
00:11:14No, these were not Craigslist posts.
00:11:16This was the Craigslist post.
00:11:17Can you please bring out my last item?
00:11:21I got a house.
00:11:22Congratulations.
00:11:23Thank you so much.
00:11:24Incredible.
00:11:25Thank you so much.
00:11:26So maybe I can put this one sort of, like...
00:11:28I mean, it's not a jet ski, it's not a motorcycle,
00:11:30but maybe we just sort of...
00:11:32Oh, man, how exciting.
00:11:33That's huge.
00:11:34So these are my keys.
00:11:35Those are our spare keys.
00:11:37Who are you talking about?
00:11:38I'm gonna guess that this is a deed to my home.
00:11:41Sam, it's a deed to my home.
00:11:44Wow!
00:11:45You forged my signature!
00:11:47Actually, if you take a look,
00:11:48we did this beautiful shoot in Architectural Digest last month.
00:11:52Oh, wow.
00:11:53It's just stunning.
00:11:54Oh, you look so good in that home.
00:11:56It just is, like, lovely.
00:11:58This does make it look an awful lot like you also took my wife.
00:12:02Is your wife in this small print, Sam?
00:12:04No, it seems like that was entirely voluntary.
00:12:06No, it seems like that was entirely voluntary,
00:12:08which is more hurtful.
00:12:12That is going to be three points for Lou,
00:12:15two points for Jacob,
00:12:17and another point away from Vic for robbing my home.
00:12:20Sam!
00:12:21You left me on my own for too long!
00:12:24You gotta actually play the game!
00:12:26I need boundaries.
00:12:27Vic, the good news is there's nowhere to go but up from here.
00:12:30I love that attitude for you.
00:12:32Thank you so much.
00:12:34Gorgeous.
00:12:35Whoa, okay.
00:12:37Okay?
00:12:38Ears.
00:12:39A smaller squid head with ears.
00:12:42That's weird.
00:12:43Moving right along.
00:12:44Who can keep the sourdough starter alive?
00:12:49For context, we supplied players with sourdough starter.
00:12:52All they had to do was keep it alive for a year.
00:12:56Now, we made sourdough bread with each of your starters.
00:13:00Jake, I will taste yours first.
00:13:02Now, you've had some experience with this.
00:13:05Yes, I have to admit I did a little bit of pandemic sourdough baking.
00:13:09In vogue at the time.
00:13:10And an elephant never forgets, so I know how to take care of this.
00:13:13Jake, I'll go ahead and taste your bread.
00:13:16Oh, yeah.
00:13:17Gorgeous!
00:13:18Yeah, look at that.
00:13:19Amazing.
00:13:20Oh, you don't even need butter.
00:13:23I love that crunch.
00:13:24It was well-baked as well, I'll give it to him.
00:13:26I don't want to stop.
00:13:27Save your appetite.
00:13:28Yeah, you got a lot more bread to eat.
00:13:29Delicious.
00:13:30Lou?
00:13:31I haven't opened this since you gave it to me.
00:13:34I was too busy building sick future clothes
00:13:36and having sex on the back of my jet ski.
00:13:39So, I truly have not opened this.
00:13:41Oh, God.
00:13:42Oh, dude.
00:13:44It's like if skin was in skin water.
00:13:46Yes, there's like a layer of movement.
00:13:48We got to stop talking about it.
00:13:49We got to stop talking about it.
00:13:51Moving on.
00:13:53That is really, really gross.
00:13:56I'm afraid to ask, may I have Lou's bread, please?
00:14:00Sam, I'm so sorry, but due to health concerns,
00:14:02we couldn't make that bread.
00:14:04Jacob, look away.
00:14:05We're just going to scoop out a little bit.
00:14:06No!
00:14:07Come on, man.
00:14:08Have a little bit.
00:14:09Come on.
00:14:10Just a little bit.
00:14:11Just a little bit of skin.
00:14:12This was not in here a year ago.
00:14:16Oh, my God.
00:14:17Everyone's being very rude right now.
00:14:19It raised my body temperature.
00:14:21Thick.
00:14:22Yes.
00:14:23That looks like it's sand.
00:14:25Why would you give me sand to try and sabotage me?
00:14:27If you gaslight me for a third time this episode,
00:14:31these point counters can't go into the negatives, Vic.
00:14:34They technically can't.
00:14:35I think you should just try it before you pass any judgment.
00:14:38Okay?
00:14:39If I could please have Vic's bread.
00:14:43Now, that's sand.
00:14:44That is 100% sand.
00:14:47Ash, that you've been forced to do this is an indignity to you.
00:14:51Thank you, Ash.
00:14:52Feels like little rocks.
00:14:53Tastes like.
00:14:57Tastes like little rocks, Vic.
00:14:58That's so weird.
00:14:59Maybe some sand got in there.
00:15:02That is three points for Jacob and zero points for either of you.
00:15:05That's hard to hear.
00:15:06Next up.
00:15:07Who can bring the Sam standee to the most remote location?
00:15:13Our players were provided with a life-size standee of me, Vic.
00:15:17Yes, Sam.
00:15:18How far did you get with your standee?
00:15:20That was not the prompt.
00:15:21Who can bring the Sam standee to the most remote location?
00:15:27And there are 400 remotes there.
00:15:31Is that 400 for sure?
00:15:32For sure.
00:15:33I cannot believe you spent so much effort on this.
00:15:37I can't wait to see how many remotes these two took photos with.
00:15:41Jacob, roll that beautiful bean footage.
00:15:44How you doing, buddy?
00:15:45Feeling comfy?
00:15:48Play some cool road music.
00:15:51We're in the middle of fucking nowhere.
00:15:53Cerro Gordo.
00:15:54Only accessible by a 4x4 car on a dirt road.
00:15:58Used to be a bustling mining town in the 1860s, but is now abandoned.
00:16:04There's only one person who lives there, and he's a chill dude named Brent.
00:16:08Hey, Jacob.
00:16:09That said that we could come on down, and I do hope us get Sam underground.
00:16:14So fun.
00:16:15Is there anything more remote than being under the earth?
00:16:18Than being under the earth?
00:16:20I don't think so.
00:16:21All right, Sam.
00:16:22Here we are at the Union Mine here at Cerro Gordo.
00:16:24Sam, this is going to be your final resting spot.
00:16:26900 feet underground.
00:16:28I can't think of a more remote spot than that.
00:16:31Au revoir. Au revoir.
00:16:32To get all the way to the bottom takes over 45 minutes, like almost an hour.
00:16:35It's as dark as dark gets.
00:16:37It's as quiet as quiet gets.
00:16:39It's like sensitory deprivation.
00:16:41There you are, Sam.
00:16:43Steep as it gets.
00:16:45Wow, Jake.
00:16:48Hey, Abbott.
00:16:49I don't know how to feel about the fact that there is now an effigy of me
00:16:52at the bottom of this ghost town.
00:16:54You'll have to go sometime.
00:16:55Lou.
00:16:56The person behind my camera, do you know where in the world
00:16:59is 1,000 kilometers from the nearest continent
00:17:03and has no native human population?
00:17:06I do not.
00:17:07Well, it's Antarctica.
00:17:09There you are.
00:17:10Wow.
00:17:11This is actually Antarctica.
00:17:14That is actually Antarctica, and in fact, you're actually still there.
00:17:17How did you get me there?
00:17:19I was actually at a show with these two when I met a person named Devin Reed,
00:17:23and Devin was the head chef at McMurdo Station on Antarctica.
00:17:28And so I found him on Instagram.
00:17:29I DM'd him.
00:17:30I said, could we send a standee to Antarctica?
00:17:32And he said, hell yes.
00:17:34I took you to the local post office.
00:17:36You arrived safely, and they gave you a little tour of the mountainside.
00:17:40If I may interject, Cerro Gordo doesn't get mail.
00:17:43Antarctica, there's like 14 to 20 airports there.
00:17:46If I may add, there's only like four remotes tossed in Antarctica.
00:17:50I'm glad you spoke.
00:17:51Yes.
00:17:52Wow.
00:17:53Incredible efforts, players.
00:17:55I am going to say three points for Lou.
00:17:58This is bullshit.
00:17:59Two points for that incredible package.
00:18:02You're wrong is the problem.
00:18:04The problem is that you're wrong.
00:18:05And another point away from Vic, bringing Vic to negative one point,
00:18:09which we will have to visual effect in order to make possible.
00:18:13You're kidding.
00:18:14No one lives underground, Sam.
00:18:17There are no denizens under the earth, my dude.
00:18:21Politely.
00:18:22You just got two points.
00:18:24They're having to be on that side.
00:18:25I deserve three.
00:18:26Negative side, fine.
00:18:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:18:29Congrats, Lou.
00:18:30Hey, thanks, man.
00:18:31Next up.
00:18:32Who can make the best selling piece of Dropout merch?
00:18:36I'll be back.
00:18:37OK.
00:18:39No idea where they're going.
00:18:40Our players worked hand in hand with our merch department,
00:18:43shout out to Randy,
00:18:44to design and fabricate a piece of merch specifically for this contest.
00:18:50Jake, what did you come up with?
00:18:52I chose to make a piece of merch based on my favorite moment
00:18:56that I've gotten to have here at Dropout.
00:18:58I love that, Jake.
00:18:59Which, of course, is me going Super Saiyan.
00:19:02Is that all you got?
00:19:04That's my shirt, and that's my spiel, and amen, and God bless.
00:19:12Lou.
00:19:13I created the Kingston Brown limited edition plushie.
00:19:17There he is.
00:19:18And dare I ask, Lou, what makes this limited edition?
00:19:21Does he have them on him?
00:19:22Or did we give them all away?
00:19:23Oh, no, he's got them.
00:19:24Each one came with a heart-shaped piece of the hair I had on my head a year ago.
00:19:32This is your actual hair.
00:19:34This is genuinely my actual hair.
00:19:36So, enjoy.
00:19:40A clone of you is going to get birthed out of the vagina of a sheep.
00:19:43Don't put that on me.
00:19:44Next up is Vic, who is not on stage.
00:19:48Come on through.
00:19:49Hi, everybody, come on in.
00:19:50Please welcome Simone, Mark, and Steve.
00:19:52Hi, everybody.
00:19:54Hi, Simone, Mark, and Steve.
00:19:55Simone, Mark, and Steve, please make yourselves at home on this set.
00:19:59So, my merch was I did a Willy Wonka-style pin contest.
00:20:04So, there were three winners who got a tour of Dropout Studios.
00:20:07We just did that tour.
00:20:08This is Sam's dressing room.
00:20:10He put this star on himself.
00:20:12And do you guys want to come in?
00:20:13Does he have his, like, wallet in here?
00:20:14He doesn't, I wish.
00:20:15Are each of these people in from out of state, Vic?
00:20:18We have Simone from Michigan, Mark is from Pennsylvania, and Steve is from Connecticut.
00:20:24Let me meet each of you, please.
00:20:26Nice to meet you, Sam.
00:20:27So nice to meet you.
00:20:28So nice to meet you.
00:20:29So nice to meet you.
00:20:30Welcome.
00:20:31Wonderful to meet you.
00:20:32So, we actually have gifts for all of you.
00:20:33Oh, they're really cool.
00:20:34Dropout swag.
00:20:35We're so happy that you're here and you got to be a part of this episode, genuinely.
00:20:38Thank you so much for coming all the way out.
00:20:40It means the world.
00:20:41It means the world to us, too.
00:20:44So wonderful.
00:20:46Simone, Mark, and Steve, everybody.
00:20:48Wow.
00:20:49Players, this was a nail-biter.
00:20:53Lou offered something limited edition and they sold out after three hours.
00:20:58So, what we did is cut the challenge off after three hours and judged it based on who made the most money in those three hours.
00:21:09After three hours?
00:21:10Seems fair to me.
00:21:11Seems... no.
00:21:12Lou, you sold 100 plushes for $40 and in three hours made $4,000.
00:21:22Jacob, in that same time, you sold 326 tees for $29 and made $9,454.
00:21:32In three hours?
00:21:34Vic.
00:21:35I can't even.
00:21:36In that same time, you sold 807 pins for $15 and made $12,105.
00:21:47Yeah, it's fair to cut it off.
00:21:49I believe there's an objection, so we should probably strike the numbers.
00:21:52There's an objection that needs to be followed through.
00:21:54That's just my thought.
00:21:55It's going to be three points for Vic, bringing them to two.
00:21:59It is going to be two points for Jacob and one point for Lou.
00:22:04Next up, who can get the silliest vanity license plate?
00:22:09We will now cut to a live view of the parking lot.
00:22:13Whoa.
00:22:15What?
00:22:16Hey, everybody.
00:22:17Welcome to The Piss, L.A.'s premier bug bar.
00:22:21Oh, my God.
00:22:23This is a bar for bugs called The Piss.
00:22:26Here's the bathroom.
00:22:28Oh, my God.
00:22:29And what appears to be a little bit of doo-doo in the toilet.
00:22:32Jake, this is a work of art.
00:22:34Thank you so much.
00:22:35And we can pan over from the bathroom into the main hall.
00:22:38Of course, we have a beetle bartender serving all of his beautiful patrons.
00:22:43The best thing about The Piss is that it is a premier rock and roll venue.
00:22:47Hell, yes.
00:22:48These are some bugs rocking with their cock out.
00:22:52It's The Piss, baby.
00:22:54Vic.
00:22:55My favorite animal is horses.
00:22:58Not a squid?
00:22:59So I had this idea.
00:23:00Hold your horses, right?
00:23:02So that is...
00:23:03Hold your whore.
00:23:06It's hold your horses.
00:23:07We just missed the H, and then we sort of had to economize it,
00:23:10and then whore for horses.
00:23:11The horse is not a letter?
00:23:12The horse is not a letter, no.
00:23:13But it does have real hair.
00:23:15We wanted texture.
00:23:16It really is whipping in the wind.
00:23:17It's giving a carefree whimsy that I hope the rest of the plate is giving off.
00:23:20Lou?
00:23:21I wanted to do something silly.
00:23:23Emphasis on the jokes, if I do say so myself.
00:23:27So here we are.
00:23:29I'm the Joker.
00:23:32It was a thing of, like, people were like, oh, is it like Jacker?
00:23:36So I thought if I brought the whole car into it,
00:23:39it would be really clear.
00:23:40So if we could zoom out and show the vehicle itself.
00:23:43So, yeah, I've been driving around in this for four months.
00:23:47What?
00:23:48Yeah, it's a Joker-themed wrap.
00:23:51I found some guys in Westwood.
00:23:54I sent them a picture of a toy Joker car,
00:23:56and they said, yeah, we could do that on your Honda Civic Hybrid
00:24:00with 110,000 miles.
00:24:03This is crazy.
00:24:04The front is white with red trim,
00:24:07just like that classic Joker smile.
00:24:11No.
00:24:12No.
00:24:13So, yeah, and fun fact, during this year,
00:24:16I moved to a new neighborhood with new neighbors,
00:24:21and I'll tell you what's parked right out front.
00:24:23This motherfucker.
00:24:24Wow.
00:24:26Way to go above and beyond.
00:24:28I do think that the silliest of these is objectively piss.
00:24:33And so I'm going to say three points for Jacob.
00:24:36Two points for that incredible wrap.
00:24:40I'll take four.
00:24:42And one heartfelt point.
00:24:45Okay, interesting.
00:24:46I hear you, and I'm taking the note, and I'm listening.
00:24:48Next up, who can create the coolest voicemail greeting?
00:24:54Surprised it's all out of me.
00:24:56What is happening?
00:24:57Whoa.
00:24:58There's scissors involved, I can tell you that.
00:24:59Jake, in the meanwhile, this is your go first.
00:25:02You know what?
00:25:03Just roll the beautiful bean footage.
00:25:04Hey, this is Jacob Wysocki.
00:25:05I can't come to the phone right now.
00:25:06Leave a message after the tone.
00:25:08♪♪♪♪
00:25:31That's one of the wildest things I've ever seen.
00:25:34It was intoxicating.
00:25:38Vic, you are looking more and more like Vic Michaelis all the time.
00:25:41Me?
00:25:42Hey.
00:25:43Oh, that's amazing.
00:25:44There's my friend.
00:25:45Lou, I think you're up next.
00:25:46Yes.
00:25:47Hi, you've reached Lou Wilson.
00:25:48I'm not here right now, but take it away, Evan.
00:25:51He tried to call Lou Wilson, but he ain't here right now.
00:25:56But if you believe, if you believe, when you call on him, he will call you back.
00:26:06Take him to church.
00:26:07You can call him from the jailhouse.
00:26:09Call you back.
00:26:11You can call him from the bathroom.
00:26:13Call you back.
00:26:14You can call him from the ER.
00:26:15Call you back.
00:26:16Call him from the DMV.
00:26:17Call you back.
00:26:18Call him from the White House.
00:26:22No matter the time.
00:26:24No matter the place.
00:26:26If you call on him, he will call you back.
00:26:34Or you could just text him like a normal person.
00:26:38Lou!
00:26:41I wrote it and just was like, I need someone more musically talented to put it all together.
00:26:46Shout out to Scott Passarella.
00:26:47Scotty P!
00:26:48Scotty P!
00:26:49And then my friend Evan Fowler in St. Louis got him and some buddies together and were nice enough to record it.
00:26:55That was fun.
00:26:56Vic.
00:26:57You can go ahead and play it.
00:26:58Hey, this is Vic.
00:26:59Leave a message.
00:27:01Now, Vic, that does not sound like you.
00:27:03I tried recording this voicemail over and over again, and I was like, I'm having trouble, like, finding what this is.
00:27:07So I had my friends write a scene to song musical, and I flew my little sister Sarah down from British Columbia, Vancouver to be the lead of my musical.
00:27:16This is Thousand Airs Sarah of Sarah's Turn.
00:27:19She starred in a musical that I wrote where she played me and recorded a voicemail live on stage.
00:27:25Tonight is very special, and I can't thank you enough for being here with me for the premiere of my new show, The Voicemail, The Musical!
00:27:38This is Vic.
00:27:39Leave a...
00:27:40That's not right.
00:27:41Yo, you've reached the Vic store.
00:27:43Leave a...
00:27:46Hey, kid.
00:27:47Looks like you could use a hand.
00:27:49Well, have I got the place for you.
00:27:52Welcome to Lever and Beperson's Voicemessing Agency.
00:27:57We're number one preparer of artisanal voicemail.
00:28:00Get down in the room!
00:28:07Sorry we missed you.
00:28:09You've reached the Stanleys.
00:28:11We're just your average nuclear family.
00:28:15Tommy's at football.
00:28:17Marcy's at chess club.
00:28:19Mommy's out shopping.
00:28:21Daddy is elsewhere.
00:28:23You've reached the late night love line.
00:28:25Please listen carefully to the following menu options.
00:28:29Press one.
00:28:30Watch your girl naughty.
00:28:32Press two.
00:28:33If you want a girl with body.
00:28:35Press three.
00:28:36Watch your girl British.
00:28:38Press four.
00:28:39Watch your girl naughty and British.
00:28:41Press five.
00:28:42Really?
00:28:45Wait, what?
00:28:48Sorry to interrupt, but I think that we should go.
00:28:56Hi, never pick up the phone, loser.
00:28:58You've been talking to the recording for two minutes like a bitch.
00:29:02Leave a message.
00:29:03What do you think?
00:29:05I think today has taught me, Vic, a valuable lesson.
00:29:09That the best voicemail for you is the one from your heart.
00:29:13The fuck?
00:29:22I got this.
00:29:24Shh.
00:29:31Hey, this is Vic.
00:29:32Leave a message.
00:29:34That was pretty good.
00:29:38And there we go.
00:29:39And that is the voicemail that you heard.
00:29:40Wow.
00:29:41You felt it.
00:29:42You could tell that was the one from the heart.
00:29:43Yeah.
00:29:44I might take issue with the fact that when each of you were presented with the prompt coolest,
00:29:49you picked musical theater, a marching band, and church, respectively.
00:29:54Right.
00:29:55Careful now, Sam.
00:29:56Coming after about 97% of the dropout audience.
00:30:00There can't be a single musical theater kid that subscribes to this platform.
00:30:03And at least one of y'all got to go to church.
00:30:07I do think that the coolest of those was Lou's.
00:30:13Yeah.
00:30:15For the sheer amount of effort that you put in, Vic, I think we have to say two points for you.
00:30:22I'll take it.
00:30:23Jacob, still cool.
00:30:24One point for you.
00:30:25You heard it here, high school kids at Arcadia High.
00:30:27Sam Rice doesn't like your work.
00:30:29That's tough.
00:30:30Lou, three points for you.
00:30:32Thanks, Sam.
00:30:33Next up, who can make the most money in an investment account?
00:30:38Yeah.
00:30:39We loaded up investment accounts with $1,000 for each of you to trade with over the course of the past year.
00:30:44Lou, how's that portfolio looking?
00:30:47I can't trust this fucking stock market.
00:30:49It's rigged.
00:30:50Yeah.
00:30:51I'm going to how the people make their money.
00:30:53Okay.
00:30:54Scratchers.
00:30:55So I went to eight different liquor stores, and I bought 662 scratchers.
00:31:01That is so many.
00:31:02Oh, my God!
00:31:03Specifically, Pumpkin Patch Cash, with a possibility of winning $30,000.
00:31:10My God.
00:31:11And then spent almost three weeks in between meals when I would wake up early.
00:31:17Wow.
00:31:18So in this session, I think I only scratch about a third of the total amount.
00:31:23Look at the sunset.
00:31:24Look at the sunset.
00:31:25Yes, you can watch the sunset on me.
00:31:27Oh, my God.
00:31:28And also the thought that this was a good idea.
00:31:30But so in total, I made $454.
00:31:37Wow.
00:31:38That's tough, and I'm sorry.
00:31:39That is staggering.
00:31:40Wow.
00:31:41That's tough.
00:31:42Wow.
00:31:43Sorry.
00:31:44In that video, I really think this is going to work out.
00:31:46In that video, I keep going, oh, is that $1,000?
00:31:52Oh, it's only $10.
00:31:54Don't gamble, kids.
00:31:56There is no cash in the Pumpkin Patch.
00:32:00Damn.
00:32:01That's tough.
00:32:02Jacob.
00:32:03I know a lot of people look at me, and they might think, like,
00:32:05when it comes to stocks and investment, that guy is a dumbo.
00:32:09I did a little bit of minimal research.
00:32:11I decided to invest in a company called NVIDIA.
00:32:16NVIDIA has done incredibly well in the last year.
00:32:21Let's look at my initial investment.
00:32:23That's what you provided.
00:32:24Yes.
00:32:25We started here.
00:32:26And over the course of a year, I have nearly tripled my investment.
00:32:31$2,906.63.
00:32:35You saying this in that suit is nothing I ever could have dreamed.
00:32:40In a million years.
00:32:42Jacob the Punk is dead, and Jacob the Capitalist is here.
00:32:47Mr. Moneybags has arrived.
00:32:51Wow.
00:32:52I guess gambling does work.
00:32:53Kids, there is cash in the Pumpkin Patch.
00:32:56No, there's not.
00:32:58Vic.
00:32:59So.
00:33:00This is the second time that you've stealthily disappeared.
00:33:02And I'll be right back.
00:33:03Just give me one second, and then just announce me one more time.
00:33:05Are you ready for us, Vic?
00:33:06We are.
00:33:07We?
00:33:08Please welcome Vic Michaelis and Peshmerga.
00:33:13Hello.
00:33:15So amazing to see so many faces here at our quarterly meeting here.
00:33:20We're so grateful for you.
00:33:21I'm going to hand it over to our CFO, James Michaelis.
00:33:24James.
00:33:25Sam.
00:33:26James.
00:33:27It's an honor to meet you.
00:33:28I'm Vic's brother.
00:33:29It's such a pleasure to meet you.
00:33:30Just to help with this presentation today.
00:33:32How about it?
00:33:33I'm going to have to take your spot.
00:33:34I'm going to be giving a presentation.
00:33:35Okay.
00:33:36Where am I going?
00:33:37Yes, you go ahead and take the podium here.
00:33:38Okay.
00:33:39Right.
00:33:40Welcome, potential investors.
00:33:41Yes.
00:33:42My name is James Michaelis, and I am Vic's brother.
00:33:43But more importantly, I am the CFO of Investment Account Inc., our company.
00:33:50This is our investor deck.
00:33:51We're looking for investors.
00:33:52We're going to go through the financials, our company structure, and at the end, we'll come up with our pitch.
00:33:57This is a company called Investment Account.
00:34:00Correct.
00:34:01So what do we do?
00:34:02We here at Investment Account Inc. believe in investing in the future.
00:34:05That's why our 39 employees are our top priority.
00:34:10I'm sorry?
00:34:1139 employees.
00:34:1239!
00:34:13Here's the full list.
00:34:14Who are we?
00:34:15Continue.
00:34:16That was so many names.
00:34:19So hopping into our financials.
00:34:20Okay, those objectively look bad.
00:34:23Just give it one second, Sam.
00:34:24Copy.
00:34:25As everyone knows, we started with $1,000 for our company.
00:34:28Correct.
00:34:29Starting off, we invested $600 into the original vending machine cost.
00:34:32That vending machine looks like it's in rough shape.
00:34:35The next 300, employee onboarding.
00:34:38We brought in all 39 employees during that January timeframe.
00:34:41Just $300 for all 39 people.
00:34:44We bought them each personal pizzas.
00:34:46Personal pizzas, and we got a bulk discount.
00:34:48February to August 2024.
00:34:51$200 went into our corporate retreat.
00:34:53Okay, that feels just like a bad use of the remaining money.
00:34:56And so we're now negative $100.
00:34:57So we took out another $100 investment from our friend Lou for 60% of the company.
00:35:02Is that right, Lou?
00:35:03This is something I really believe in.
00:35:05And Lou, we believe in you.
00:35:06And you believe in us.
00:35:07And together, we're going to believe some big things.
00:35:09Keep going.
00:35:10And directly after that investment, we took our summer break.
00:35:12Yeah.
00:35:13And came back in September.
00:35:14First, our investment account retreat, 2024.
00:35:17Here's some fun photos.
00:35:19Look at that, our CEO is rolling.
00:35:21Just a great company culture.
00:35:22I guess I'm having a hard time remembering Dean.
00:35:27I guess I'm sort of having a hard time remembering that.
00:35:30Remember this?
00:35:31Is that not you?
00:35:32Remember this?
00:35:33Is that not you wearing one of these T-shirts?
00:35:35I do remember putting that shirt on for a picture.
00:35:39That picture was at the company retreat.
00:35:41Yeah.
00:35:42Yeah.
00:35:43Continuing with our financials.
00:35:46July through October 2024.
00:35:48$50 for this logo design.
00:35:50All right.
00:35:51I will say, the logo doesn't look like a lot, even for $50.
00:35:56And that's exactly what all the market research said we should be going for.
00:35:59So we did have a $100 HR meeting to discuss the negligence of our spending.
00:36:03We then found $250.
00:36:07Where?
00:36:08Can I ask?
00:36:12And then lastly, $400 for this presentation design.
00:36:16Now.
00:36:172025 projections.
00:36:18I would love to know this.
00:36:20Projected profits.
00:36:21Very self-explanatory.
00:36:23That line looks like it's going up.
00:36:24Now you know why I gave him $100.
00:36:26Fucking love this presentation.
00:36:29What are we worth?
00:36:30We are priceless.
00:36:33Wow.
00:36:34However, we still do need investors.
00:36:36So here's our first pitch.
00:36:3810% of the company for $1 more than what Jacob made.
00:36:42Now, this couldn't be because you bought a vending machine in the hopes of doing something with it.
00:36:47And then decided to hard pivot into a completely vacuous Shark Tank style presentation.
00:36:54Sam, you're assuming that I bought this vending machine and then realized that the plug wasn't plugged into the vending machine?
00:36:59And that there was no credit card reader?
00:37:00So not even the hospital would take it to put in the basement?
00:37:03Hey, I get it.
00:37:04You're not totally sold on this offer.
00:37:06And you're right not to be because we have another offer for you.
00:37:0986% of the company for $1 more than what Jacob made.
00:37:12Okay.
00:37:13What do you say to that?
00:37:14What's happening here?
00:37:15I would like to make you a counter.
00:37:17Okay.
00:37:18100% of the company for $1 less than Jacob made.
00:37:23I see.
00:37:24We're not quite swayed by this offer.
00:37:25So we got one last offer for you.
00:37:27Okay.
00:37:28Final offer.
00:37:2912% of the company for $1 more than what Jacob made.
00:37:32What do you say?
00:37:33So I think this is worse.
00:37:37I'm prepared to make a bid.
00:37:38Whoa.
00:37:39Zach from Try Guys?
00:37:40When I invest, I'm not just looking for a product.
00:37:44I'm looking for a vision.
00:37:46And what I see here is potential.
00:37:48And I am prepared to offer $10,000 for 20.
00:37:51Oh my God.
00:37:5212% of your company.
00:37:55I have a check right here.
00:37:56Yes.
00:37:57That says cash.
00:37:59Yes.
00:38:00Congratulations.
00:38:01Yes, Zach.
00:38:02Okay.
00:38:03You look like an ivory salesman.
00:38:05We're going to the Super Bowl.
00:38:06Come on.
00:38:11Zach, congratulations on a great new venture.
00:38:14Thank you so much.
00:38:15Nice to meet you all.
00:38:16Wow.
00:38:17Huge.
00:38:18Now just a quick change.
00:38:20This transition might be my favorite.
00:38:21Yeah.
00:38:23Perfect.
00:38:24All doors lead back to Game Changer.
00:38:26Jacob, that is three points for you.
00:38:28Bingo.
00:38:29Lou, two points for you.
00:38:31And I lost money.
00:38:33Another negative point for that complete and total farce.
00:38:36Damn.
00:38:37Those points are official?
00:38:38Those points are official.
00:38:39Great.
00:38:40I felt like the only thing I really could do would be to get the points,
00:38:43win, and then reject the money.
00:38:45So I'm going to be donating all of my profits to the Rainbow Services,
00:38:49which is a local South Bay organization that me and my mom really found
00:38:53important.
00:38:54Jacob.
00:38:56I think we can all agree who's winning the moral victory here so far on
00:38:59stage.
00:39:00Next up, who can perform the most impressive magic trick?
00:39:05Lou, you're up first.
00:39:06Fantastic.
00:39:07Would it be possible for you and the fellow contestants to kind of gather
00:39:10around Jacob's podium?
00:39:11Yeah.
00:39:12Okay.
00:39:13Fair enough.
00:39:14I'll be right back.
00:39:15Okay.
00:39:20Allow me to reintroduce myself.
00:39:22My name is Lou.
00:39:23L-to-the-O-U.
00:39:25And this is my partner in crime, Kazzy.
00:39:27Say hi, Kazzy.
00:39:28Hi.
00:39:29You prankster.
00:39:30All right.
00:39:31Now we're going to do a little magic for y'all today.
00:39:32You see,
00:39:33I learned at a young age that a little slight of hand could get you out of a
00:39:36pair of handcuffs or make a dime bag disappear.
00:39:39Now the trick we're going to do for you today is called a three-card Monty.
00:39:42We used to do this trick uptown, trick mucky mucks out of their pocket change.
00:39:46And then we will bring it back down.
00:39:47I help those in our community.
00:39:49I was a real Robin hood if I do say so myself.
00:39:52Now, all you got to do is follow the queen.
00:39:55DJ, hit that track.
00:40:07That's a king.
00:40:09That's the queen.
00:40:10That's what we're following.
00:40:12Okay.
00:40:13It's a track.
00:40:16Wait.
00:40:17Wow.
00:40:18Damn.
00:40:25Okay.
00:40:26King.
00:40:27King.
00:40:32Wow.
00:40:34Oh, okay.
00:40:36Okay.
00:40:38Okay.
00:40:39Okay.
00:40:49What?
00:40:50Wow.
00:40:56Yes.
00:40:57Holy shit.
00:40:58Yes.
00:41:07Wow.
00:41:10Wow.
00:41:22Wow.
00:41:31You got it, dude.
00:41:32Wow.
00:41:35Damn.
00:41:37Great job.
00:41:38Great job, Lou.
00:41:39And great job, Gazzy.
00:41:42Super impressive trick.
00:41:44Magic, man.
00:41:45You fooled me, as Penn and Teller say.
00:41:47Vic.
00:41:48What is magic?
00:41:49When I think of magic, I think of just an old-fashioned card trick.
00:41:52Sam, do you have a favorite card?
00:41:54As a matter of fact, I probably do have a favorite card.
00:41:57This has nothing to do with that.
00:41:58I'm just curious.
00:41:59I'm going to go ahead and have you just pick a card.
00:42:01Pick any card.
00:42:02Okay.
00:42:03And you're going to take a peek at it.
00:42:05Okay.
00:42:07Pop it back in the deck.
00:42:08Okay.
00:42:10Okay, this card is going to jump into your pocket.
00:42:14Okay.
00:42:15Okay, ready?
00:42:16Yes.
00:42:17Three, two, one.
00:42:19Is it in there?
00:42:20No.
00:42:22Okay, so I'm kind of new at magic.
00:42:24Your card did jump somewhere.
00:42:26It's just not where it was supposed to jump, unfortunately.
00:42:29Can I get the tool?
00:42:32I really appreciate that.
00:42:33If we can just sort of bring these out.
00:42:35Thank you so much, Ash and Nico.
00:42:37Really appreciate it.
00:42:38Sam, we're just going to have you scooch on over here.
00:42:41I am so scared.
00:42:43Yeah, just go ahead and put those on.
00:42:44And you guys might just want to scoot back.
00:42:46It's about to go down.
00:42:47This is just going to take a second.
00:42:48Don't even worry about it, okay?
00:42:49Okay.
00:42:50Ready?
00:42:51Sure.
00:42:52Oh, fuck.
00:42:53Oh, my God.
00:42:54Jesus Christ, my podium.
00:42:56Oh, no.
00:42:57It's just going to be like one more second.
00:43:00Oh, my God.
00:43:02God.
00:43:03Yes.
00:43:04Is this your card?
00:43:10No.
00:43:14Oh, my God, no.
00:43:15Hold on.
00:43:16Just...
00:43:18What?
00:43:19Was this your card?
00:43:21Yes.
00:43:22Hey.
00:43:23Hey.
00:43:24It happens.
00:43:25Oh, man.
00:43:26That absolutely ruled.
00:43:27Thank you so much.
00:43:28That was some heavy swinging.
00:43:29I'm very strong.
00:43:30Shows, shows.
00:43:31Thank you for saying that.
00:43:33Jacob, can we bring my table out, please?
00:43:37Thank you, Nico.
00:43:38Put my stuff here for now.
00:43:41What you just saw, they were merely tricks.
00:43:43And when this task came across my desk, I wanted to do something real.
00:43:48I wanted to learn how to read people's minds.
00:43:51But the harder thing to do than read a mind is to influence minds.
00:43:55Classic piece of psychology, the Rorschach test.
00:43:58You guys are familiar with the Rorschach test, right?
00:43:59Yeah.
00:44:00So I want to connect with you.
00:44:01I'm going to show you an image.
00:44:02I want you to immediately tell me what you see, right?
00:44:05So you go ahead and tell me when to stop.
00:44:07Stop.
00:44:08We'll show it to the camera.
00:44:10First thought, two people dancing.
00:44:12Beautiful.
00:44:13Yeah, that totally makes sense.
00:44:14You find the joy in life.
00:44:16And you don't like to spend a lot of time alone, right?
00:44:18So you're not going to see, like, a singular image.
00:44:20Can we do one with you?
00:44:21Sure.
00:44:22Tell me when to stop.
00:44:23Okay.
00:44:24Stop.
00:44:25Great.
00:44:26Vase of flowers.
00:44:27Vase of flowers.
00:44:28Cool, yeah.
00:44:29You like to give gifts.
00:44:30You're a generous guy.
00:44:31Oh, thanks.
00:44:32So here's the big moment, all right?
00:44:33Okay.
00:44:34You're going to confidently pick a page.
00:44:35Yep.
00:44:36Look at it and put it down.
00:44:37Got it.
00:44:38Do not say what you see until you're prompted.
00:44:40And anywhere in here?
00:44:41Anywhere.
00:44:42Just pick one up like that.
00:44:45Okay.
00:44:46Now I want you to envision what you just saw.
00:44:48Okay.
00:44:49I want you to send it to me.
00:44:50Okay.
00:44:51Now if this has a color, see it in the color.
00:44:53Yeah.
00:44:54If it has a sound, see it with the sound.
00:44:55Yes.
00:44:56If it is somewhere, see it where it would be.
00:44:58Yes.
00:44:59Now, why don't you write down what you saw on that piece of paper there.
00:45:03Now most people in these, they say people, place, or thing.
00:45:05I don't think you saw a person.
00:45:07I don't think you saw a place.
00:45:09What I think you saw was a thing.
00:45:11It's large.
00:45:13Has distinct features, if I'm not mistaken.
00:45:16Right?
00:45:17Makes a distinct noise.
00:45:18Yes.
00:45:19On three.
00:45:20Say it at the same time as you do?
00:45:21We're going to say it at the same time.
00:45:22Hopefully it matches up.
00:45:23Okay.
00:45:24You ready?
00:45:25Yeah.
00:45:26Three, two, one.
00:45:27Elephant.
00:45:29He wrote down elephant.
00:45:31Stop clapping!
00:45:32Stop clapping!
00:45:33That would be a trick, ladies and gentlemen.
00:45:35But I am not here doing a trick.
00:45:38I have been infecting your brain.
00:45:41Do you remember at the top of the show when I said,
00:45:43elephant in the room?
00:45:44It's been a crazy fucking year.
00:45:46Do you remember when I called myself a dumbo?
00:45:48Do you remember when I said,
00:45:50an elephant never forgets, so I know how to take care of this.
00:45:52Do you remember when I said,
00:45:54you look like an ivory salesman.
00:45:57I have been infecting you all day
00:46:00to see exactly what I wanted you to see.
00:46:03Good job, Sam.
00:46:05You've been such a great sport.
00:46:06Why don't you go and open up the gift I got you?
00:46:08You are a twisted motherfucker, Jake.
00:46:12You got me a fucking elephant.
00:46:13Show everybody what it is.
00:46:14It's a fucking elephant!
00:46:16It's been here the whole time!
00:46:23Congratulations, you have a very weak mind.
00:46:27Woo!
00:46:31I have a bit of a magic background.
00:46:33Everything I saw today,
00:46:35I have a sense of how it's done,
00:46:38except for that elephant.
00:46:41And so, I'm gonna say,
00:46:43three points for Jacob,
00:46:45two points for both of you,
00:46:47for tremendous, tremendous performance.
00:46:49Everybody did great work.
00:46:50Everybody did great work.
00:46:51Oh, look at us, come on.
00:46:52Next up, players,
00:46:54who can get the most followers
00:46:57on a SoundCloud account?
00:46:59Vic, we'll start with you.
00:47:00So, I wrote a religiously coded erotic novel.
00:47:07Are we playing a portion of this, Vic?
00:47:09We are.
00:47:10One Man's Trash.
00:47:12One Man's Trash,
00:47:14a novella by Taylor Scarborough Fair.
00:47:17This is you doing a voice?
00:47:18Yeah.
00:47:20Oh, the production value is incredible here, Vic.
00:47:23Thank you so much, I edited it on iMovie.
00:47:25Chapter one.
00:47:26Royce Dickman stands alone in a glowing white room.
00:47:29He takes a moment to breathe in the quietness.
00:47:31A man is hot, sexy, devout, nice, and handsome,
00:47:34as him never has a moment
00:47:35to just think about mathematics or literature.
00:47:37Suddenly, he hears,
00:47:39Royce?
00:47:40Emma?
00:47:41He sounds like he smokes, but he doesn't.
00:47:43Royce would never smoke.
00:47:44Who's the other Royce?
00:47:45Emma, where are you?
00:47:47Suddenly, in the distance,
00:47:48a figure begins to walk towards Royce.
00:47:50As it comes closer,
00:47:51we see it as a beautiful woman.
00:47:53She's wearing nothing but very long hair,
00:47:55covering her good bits,
00:47:56like in a painting in a fancy home or restaurant.
00:47:58He reaches for her with his tree trunk arms,
00:48:00busting out of a tank top.
00:48:02Royce.
00:48:03Royce becomes more powerful.
00:48:05Royce.
00:48:06Jolting awake, Royce shoots up alone in bed.
00:48:08It was all just a dream.
00:48:10Royce pushes the fantasy from his giant, powerful, hot brain.
00:48:13Wow.
00:48:14Wow, Vic.
00:48:15I mean, you painted a picture.
00:48:17There's character development.
00:48:19Yeah.
00:48:20Setting.
00:48:21Southern guitar twang.
00:48:22I mean, come on.
00:48:24How many people followed you on SoundCloud?
00:48:25I think if you ask these other two,
00:48:27they wouldn't be able to name any of their followers,
00:48:29whereas for my, yes, ten followers,
00:48:33I can give you their home addresses.
00:48:35Because you know them personally.
00:48:39Jacob.
00:48:40I thought I'd present this like those old CD commercials.
00:48:51Do you love music?
00:48:52Do you love music that sounds like your favorite songs?
00:48:55Well, I've got a surprise for you.
00:48:57Welcome to the 57-CD set of Wysocki's parody songs.
00:49:02Some of your most favorite tunes, but slightly different.
00:49:05Such as...
00:49:11Cheap.
00:49:12To the tune of Radiohead's Creep.
00:49:14We also have songs like...
00:49:16To the tune of Jolene, Poutine.
00:49:18I mean, I have a real soft spot for Weird Al.
00:49:23We've got musical theater.
00:49:26From Sweeney Todd?
00:49:28We also have tracks like L.A.'s best band,
00:49:31The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
00:49:33How long, how long is that heart?
00:49:38I'm curious the size of that heart.
00:49:46It's like a full four-minute track, too.
00:49:48So for six payments of $420,
00:49:52this CD set can be yours.
00:49:55Go ahead and enjoy it.
00:49:57Wow, Jacob.
00:49:58Jacob.
00:50:01Jacob, you managed to rack up 3,985 followers.
00:50:07I went on a little bit of a press tour and got to plug it,
00:50:09and it helped with the numbers.
00:50:10Next up is Lou.
00:50:12Give me a second to get set, and then will you read that?
00:50:15So many disappearing acts.
00:50:17This card says,
00:50:18Put your hands together for Paralubis.
00:50:22Oh, shit!
00:50:25They are in the building!
00:50:28All right, now, when I say Para,
00:50:30y'all say Lubis.
00:50:32Para.
00:50:33Lubis.
00:50:34Para.
00:50:35Lubis.
00:50:36Yo, Gabriel, hit that track.
00:50:37A whole new world.
00:50:39It's a whole new world.
00:50:41Drop out TV.
00:50:42Drop out TV.
00:50:43You're my whole new world.
00:50:45Let's go.
00:50:46It's a whole new world.
00:50:48Wanna give it all to you.
00:50:51She my birthday princess, big eyes and plushy single bitch.
00:50:54Lost her parents young, it was tragic.
00:50:56Please don't mention it.
00:50:57I met her on the app.
00:50:59Say bonjour, good day, I'm feeling you.
00:51:01Disney plus and chill.
00:51:02She gon' make a man of battle.
00:51:04Look, out of castle now.
00:51:05Call me Elsa, cause I brought the snow.
00:51:07Cinderella vibes.
00:51:09She is dressed in rags from head to toe.
00:51:11Come and meet me, girl.
00:51:12I'm far different than Pinocchio.
00:51:14You'll be my one mate tonight.
00:51:16I know how far we'll go.
00:51:18Yeah, yeah.
00:51:19Dippity boppity boo.
00:51:20They hit it so good.
00:51:21She think I love her truly.
00:51:22She actin' goofy.
00:51:23She call me Walt.
00:51:24She call me Walt.
00:51:25Cause we shoot movies.
00:51:26We goin' under the sea.
00:51:27And by the sea.
00:51:28I mean in my jacuzzi.
00:51:29I am a beast on the mic.
00:51:30She is the beauty.
00:51:31Spazzin' three times.
00:51:32Chewie and Louie.
00:51:33Chewie we do.
00:51:34Doin' our ass up like Ratatouille.
00:51:35Owie.
00:51:36Does Disney own Bluey?
00:51:37Yeah.
00:51:38Okay, then she blew me.
00:51:39Yeah.
00:51:40It's a whole new world.
00:51:42Yo, Jeremy, stop.
00:51:43Why?
00:51:44We only have two minutes.
00:51:45Oh.
00:51:46Survived to one year later.
00:51:47Made a band, imagine that.
00:51:48We got Jeremy and Bubba.
00:51:50Plus Gabriel too.
00:51:51Shoutout all the para-losers.
00:51:52Can't do shit without you.
00:51:55Shoutout para-losers.
00:51:57Thank you guys.
00:51:59Thank you guys.
00:52:01Wow.
00:52:02Gentlemen.
00:52:03Hey, bless up, kids.
00:52:04Follow us only on SoundCloud still.
00:52:06That was so good.
00:52:08That was good, dude.
00:52:09Wow.
00:52:10So yeah, a year ago, you gave me this mission.
00:52:13I said, what if I started a band with my three best friends from high school?
00:52:20So to anyone who supported us on this journey, I want you to know,
00:52:23to all the para-losers out there, this grew beyond a mission.
00:52:27Into a whole new world.
00:52:29Into a whole new world.
00:52:30I think that people will be shocked to learn that this is as a result of a Game Changer prompt.
00:52:36We became a real band.
00:52:38Lou, you have 3,242 followers.
00:52:45Somehow, Jacob's parody songs have more.
00:52:50Jacob.
00:52:51What's up?
00:52:52We looked into some of these followers.
00:52:55Some of them have no avatars, have strange names, and only follow you.
00:53:03Are you getting at something, Sam?
00:53:04Did you buy any of these followers?
00:53:08At the beginning of this, I felt very intimidated going into a popularity contest
00:53:17against one of the most lovable people in the world, Lou fucking Wilson.
00:53:21So did I buy 680, 690 followers at the very beginning of this?
00:53:29Yeah.
00:53:30I did not specify that you couldn't buy followers.
00:53:34Not at all, and that's why I did.
00:53:35You feel like you flipped real quick.
00:53:38I feel like you went from an impassioned speech, kind of complimenting me,
00:53:42to being like, motherfucker, you didn't say shit.
00:53:44I couldn't.
00:53:45I refused to lose, and so I created a second account called Also Paralubis
00:53:50that currently has 5,000 followers, all purchased, if that puts me in first place.
00:53:56Wow.
00:53:57That is going to be 3 points for Paralubis,
00:54:022 points for Parody Master, Jacob Wysocki,
00:54:06and 1 point for erotic novelist, Vic Michaelis.
00:54:10We're in the positive, and that's all I can ask for.
00:54:14Next up, who can have the most exotic animal encounter?
00:54:19Jake, we'll start with you.
00:54:21Should we just roll the beautiful bean footage?
00:54:23Welcome.
00:54:24Hi.
00:54:25This is task 13.
00:54:26Who can have the encounter with the most exotic animal?
00:54:28We were told at the beginning of this that some of the tasks,
00:54:30we were going to be able to get the credit card from the company to help make it happen.
00:54:34So we're at a really fancy restaurant, going to have a very fancy meal.
00:54:37When daddy's away, you can come now.
00:54:39Oh!
00:54:47Awesome, thanks for inviting us.
00:54:49And again, I just wanted to say thank you guys for paying us to come.
00:54:52I'd like to say thanks for the suit and the cowboy hat.
00:54:55Do I get to keep it?
00:54:56Yeah.
00:54:57Do you guys need some walking around money?
00:54:59Oh, shit.
00:55:00Yeah.
00:55:02Thanks for being here.
00:55:03We've spared no expense.
00:55:04Garçon!
00:55:05Mister!
00:55:07If I can get a close-up on me ordering for a second.
00:55:09There you go, that's for you.
00:55:11Make sure it's a nice close-up.
00:55:12There we go.
00:55:13While Vic's ordering, I'll give you $300 if you could just get their feet.
00:55:17Smells really good.
00:55:18Everybody's food looks really good.
00:55:20You guys want to see something cool?
00:55:21Let's hear it for Zuri.
00:55:23Oh, my.
00:55:24Oh, my.
00:55:26Oh, Zuri.
00:55:27Hi, Zuri's here.
00:55:28How are you?
00:55:29Hi, baby.
00:55:30That absolutely rules.
00:55:32I believe Zuri's a ringtail lemur?
00:55:33My tail's pretty tired, too.
00:55:35You want my yam?
00:55:36Oh, that's right.
00:55:37We'd ordered some food for Zuri.
00:55:38Yeah, we knew Zuri was coming.
00:55:39Oh, good.
00:55:40He's coming back.
00:55:41When the moon gets here, I like Zuri's yellow eyes.
00:55:44That's a lemur.
00:55:45That's good.
00:55:46Yeah?
00:55:47That's a lemur.
00:55:48Oh!
00:55:49Did Zuri just take a shit?
00:55:50I think Zuri just took a shit.
00:55:51That's okay.
00:55:52I'm just going to cover it with a hundo.
00:55:55That'd be great.
00:55:56Thanks, ma'am.
00:55:57You haven't touched your...
00:55:58Oh, you know what?
00:55:59I was going to touch it, but then she started shitting everywhere.
00:56:03Everybody say bye.
00:56:05Bye, Zuri.
00:56:06Bye, Zuri.
00:56:07Thank you so much for being here.
00:56:08We love you.
00:56:09Wow.
00:56:10Well, I hope you enjoyed your dinner.
00:56:12One point for each of you.
00:56:13Hey!
00:56:14We're a huge squad.
00:56:15Cool.
00:56:16Team effort.
00:56:17Next up, and I'm regretting this challenge at this particular moment.
00:56:21Who can take the funniest candid of me?
00:56:24I'll go ahead and roll the clip.
00:56:31Oh, my God.
00:56:32Does that look familiar, Sam?
00:56:34I think it's Vic's house.
00:56:35That's my house.
00:56:36Wait a minute.
00:56:38This is my home.
00:56:40We just realized we could do a lot more together than we could apart.
00:56:43This is a camera?
00:56:44Inside your house.
00:56:45You put it in my home for a length of time?
00:56:48Did you not notice any new electronics in the house?
00:56:50Yeah.
00:56:51This is so many different days.
00:56:53We thought, let's just really shotgun it and make sure we get something.
00:56:57I spend so much time on my phone.
00:57:00We're learning that, yeah.
00:57:01Down you go.
00:57:04I must be the most inobservant person on the planet.
00:57:08You got a really weak brain, man.
00:57:09To think what that camera must have captured that you didn't show.
00:57:13Oh, and look, all three of us, we all scrubbed the whole thing, dude.
00:57:16Everything.
00:57:17Tip to tail.
00:57:21I got to say, I'm both horrified and impressed.
00:57:24That's three points for each of you.
00:57:26United front.
00:57:27United front.
00:57:28Next up, players.
00:57:34A final transformation.
00:57:36I finally animorphed.
00:57:39Free.
00:57:40Wow, Vic.
00:57:41My final transformation.
00:57:44I am person.
00:57:46You know what?
00:57:47No, stop.
00:57:48Out of all of those stages, I am going to say an additional point for you.
00:57:51Wow.
00:57:52One whole point?
00:57:53Yes.
00:57:54Thank you, Sam.
00:57:55Next up, players.
00:57:57The last challenge of our game.
00:58:05Lou, we'll start with you.
00:58:06What was your ideal version of this task?
00:58:11Was it that I would walk in here with a giant bag of my friend and loved one's hair?
00:58:19Yeah, that about sums it up.
00:58:21My brother's in the audience.
00:58:22You wanted him to watch me hand you a Ziploc bag of hair that I scrounged barbershops for.
00:58:29Just having hair in our home for an entire year.
00:58:32Yeah, like, you know, kind of like a serial killer.
00:58:36Why are you all looking at me like this?
00:58:38Let's go ahead and change the next slide.
00:58:40This was us precisely one year ago.
00:58:44An iconic image that is now memed across the internet as an accidental Renaissance painting.
00:58:51Do you have any inkling of what we went through after we went through that?
00:58:56We have decided that this is actually no longer about you.
00:58:59We are not interested in these points because that would suggest that all that I have done here today was for you.
00:59:06And that is simply not true.
00:59:09Everything I did for this episode was inspired by and dedicated to these two people standing on this stage beside me.
00:59:18A year ago, we were broken, drunk, and defeated.
00:59:21Today, we stand triumphant, glorious.
00:59:24A year ago, we said, you can come now.
00:59:26We are the ones who will be coming.
00:59:29I am coming.
00:59:32Everybody!
00:59:33I am coming!
00:59:35I am coming!
00:59:37I am coming!
00:59:40Don't worry, Sam.
00:59:42It's still Game Changer, and there's a prize.
00:59:45You won, Sam!
00:59:46Your prize today is a one-hour session with Maria Two-Straps, a kink therapist.
00:59:52Sam, during our time at Dropout, we've observed reoccurring patterns of control in your interactions with others.
00:59:59Accompanied by notable emphasis on fetish and kink.
01:00:03We believe that it's crucial for you to introspect and delve deeper into these tendencies.
01:00:08Wow.
01:00:09So we, all of our friends who helped us make this amazing episode, all of the crew, we're going to exit out this door right here.
01:00:15We're going to go outside, and we're going to have a nice party.
01:00:17I think there's a little fondue fountain.
01:00:19You are more than welcome to join us after you've spent one calendar hour hanging out with Two-Straps here.
01:00:26Take your seat.
01:00:27Yeah, now.
01:00:28Time.
01:00:29Like, all bits aside, I'm really interested to see what happens here.
01:00:32Sam, just in case this wasn't a big enough prize, we got you one last thing.
01:00:40Oh. My. God.
01:00:44Nothing accidental about that.
01:00:46This is gorgeous.
01:00:49Sam, you can come now.
01:00:52Come on, everybody.
01:00:54Let's go! Come on!
01:00:55Party, party, party, party, party, party!
01:00:59Hey, have fun! Have fun, everybody!
01:01:02Bye.
01:01:03I'll be out there sooner or later.
01:01:05Henry is here!
01:01:07Oh!
01:01:08I want to hang out with Henry!
01:01:10Hello, Sam.
01:01:12So nice to meet you.
01:01:14Where should I begin?
01:01:15Oh, come on!
01:01:16It's a bounce-off!
01:01:18Great job! I'm so proud of you!
01:01:21We did it!
01:01:23So let's dive deep, because I've heard some things.
01:01:25Yeah.
01:01:26But I want to hear it from your own words.
01:01:28Izzy Roland once asked me, is this a kink?
01:01:31And my response to her was, I don't know.
01:01:37It's this interesting paradox, right?
01:01:39The desire, the need for control usually comes from deep feelings of not feeling in control.
01:01:46I'm afraid of vulnerability.
01:01:47For sure.
01:01:48That sometimes you push people away.
01:01:50Push them away with rigorously difficult game shows, for instance.
01:01:53Exactly.
01:01:57The reality is that I'm more of a gentle dom, and I play more of an un-gentle dom.
01:02:05Gotcha.
01:02:13I guess I'll leave you with a final question.
01:02:15Sure.
01:02:16An introspective question.
01:02:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:02:18You can answer it if you want.
01:02:21Putting on this facade.
01:02:22Yeah.
01:02:23I'm Sam.
01:02:24Check out my cool game show where I humiliate people.
01:02:27Sure.
01:02:28That's what you're coming forth with.
01:02:29Yeah.
01:02:30What does it look like to just walk out there and say, hey, I'm Sam?
01:02:39I'm totally cured!
01:02:40Yeah, right!
01:02:42That brings us to the end of our show.
01:02:45Our score's at the end.
01:02:47Jacob with 27.
01:02:49Vic with 12.
01:02:50Lou with 28.
01:02:52The winner of our episode, Lou Wilson.
01:02:56Lou, you win the swear jar.
01:02:59And inside this swear jar, this government bond for $1,000, which you can redeem in 2035.
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