Loneliness is a growing concern around the world, and Asia is no exception. Living in a world where there is so much emphasis on socializing, three women are showing how to find a sense of community and connection.
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00:00Suddenly, I have no one to go to.
00:15My parents stopped talking to me.
00:24I started building my own home.
00:27You just want to know there is someone there.
00:31So it's not all emptiness.
00:57I was always raised as a very silent child.
01:01I barely spoke.
01:05I was extremely underconfident as a child.
01:09It was very difficult for me always to make friends.
01:15Always was taught that you are the endest one in the family.
01:21Whatever Papa will say or Mama will say, will listen.
01:29You have to take care of things.
01:31It was a huge responsibility.
01:35I was extremely scared of my father.
01:39I still am.
01:43My name is Mohini Pandey.
01:44I am 35 years old.
01:46I live in Navi, Mumbai.
01:47And I am exploring loneliness through building communities,
01:51working with children and creating safe spaces for people.
01:54I just wanted to get out of that space.
02:03Get out of that pressure that was building on me.
02:07That's why like when my friend said that I am going to Vidyanagar,
02:16which is Anand, to study.
02:20Not even like in my head, I thought about it.
02:27Just in blink of an eye, I was just like, I'm coming.
02:37I remember the death of God.
02:39I could not get one to take care of my father.
02:42My fiancé was coming over again.
02:43My dad was even dead.
02:46My der 푼 recently told me.
02:48He knew he was coming in our classroom as тепly.
02:57I don't have to take care of my children.
02:59I don't want alone too.
03:00I was married.
03:04I didn't want to be married.
03:08I said, I'm going to be married.
03:10I said, I'm going to be married.
03:12I'm not going to be married.
03:16I'm not going to be married.
03:18I'm not going to be married.
03:20My wife is Trần Thị Kim Thia.
03:26My wife is 65, 66.
03:34My wife taught me to play for children.
03:36My wife taught me to play for children.
03:38My wife taught me to play for children.
03:44My wife taught me to play for children every year.
03:52I wanted to be married.
03:56The first encounter with loneliness was when I just came to Singapore from China.
04:26That was when I was 16 years old and brought to here by a full-time scholarship.
04:33I suddenly realised I was on my own.
04:38I was studying and living in a foreign country without parents.
04:45And the second encounter was in 2017 when I gave birth.
04:56I realised sometimes my emotions can go up and down very extremely.
05:01And I wondered why.
05:05So it's like all these sudden changes that I couldn't name by the time that worried me.
05:12Because that's when I feel like the sense of I don't know what I'm doing.
05:17And I seem to lose control of how I appear to the others and how I do my own things.
05:26I think I feel suddenly I have no one to go to.
05:30I was lonely that time.
05:35My name is Alice Yu and I'm based in Singapore.
05:39I'm the founder and the president of Mama on Palette.
05:42I started painting thanks to my husband because he felt like I was really struggling with finding myself again.
05:55So he said maybe you should anchor yourself with something that you used to like which is drawing.
06:00And that is something that suddenly gave me the drive.
06:11I find the purpose again.
06:19A year later, my Mama on Palette was born.
06:30I'm a team.
06:40There was a job.
06:41I was a team.
06:44When I went to the class.
06:47I remember that I was I was 11.
06:51I was exactly 11 years old.
06:57I won't take my time.
07:00I went from this place to this place, from this place to that place.
07:07Every day, I had to escape.
07:11Every night, I went to work.
07:14Every night, I went to the sea.
07:17I went to the sea, and I went to the sea.
07:20I went to the sea, and I went to the sea.
07:22No one taught me.
07:30I went to the sea, and I went to the sea.
07:39My mother was sick, and I was sick.
07:42I was sad.
07:44I couldn't be able to go to the sea.
07:52When I went to the sea, I went to the sea.
07:57When I went to the sea, I was in the sea.
08:02When I came here, in the sea,
08:04there was the chairman of the government and the chairman of the women's government.
08:12The chairman of the women's government,
08:14called me to go to the sea.
08:16I was like, I was a student.
08:19I was like, I was a student.
08:20I was like, I can't swim to my children.
08:24I was like, You know, I said, I was like, I wasÃo management.
08:31But my mother…
08:35I was a student.
08:37She was like, I could go to leave with my kids.
08:39I suffered from school for the sea.
08:43I was like, I cry.
08:44I prayed, and I was sick every day and stuff.
08:47They played with .
08:49Then I found a house to help my children to know.
09:12I started Bama Pallot as a personal blog and documenting my own parenthood journey.
09:19I know that it wasn't easy. Someone, I can say, maybe educated like me, right, even could get lost when I had experienced symptoms like PPD.
09:36Maybe after being writing, sharing and posting for six months and I received a Facebook message from a mom and she said, you know, what you wrote about your experience really resonated with me.
10:04So I'm not the only mom who loves art and, you know, this mom, she has so many beautiful artworks.
10:14I should probably showcase her on my blog, right? And that may be something that can make her feel proud as well.
10:21And then she introduced a second mom.
10:27This is how we, from two mothers knowing each other through internet, to three mothers, then four mothers.
10:37And interestingly, these mothers are all ex-pat moms.
10:48When you're in the state of, like, a bit lost, a bit anxious, a bit, a lot of lack of sleep, you just want to know there is someone there.
10:58So it's not all emptiness.
11:09One day, I called up my dad and I told him that, hey, listen, I like a guy.
11:13I just have now informed you that, um, I like someone, but that's it.
11:24That's it.
11:36But the pressure was too high from his family, my family.
11:41Within six months, we got engaged.
11:44Two months, we got married.
11:46That time I got my calling into teaching.
11:53But during that whole process, my parents and his parents, they were like, no, you are married now.
12:03Your responsibility is more towards your family rather than the, like, responsibility towards other people.
12:11You have to cook food and only then you can step out of the house.
12:18So whenever his parents used to come in, it was very uncomfortable for me because the expectation was like, wear a saree, do a pallu and then come in front of us.
12:30It was just one random day, um, he coming up towards me and he told me that I can't do this anymore.
12:43I want to see my parents happy and I don't think, um, this is working out.
12:48He gives me the divorce papers and that's it.
12:59And after that, my parents stopped talking to me.
13:03And I think that's where my whole support system collapsed.
13:09I felt very alone at that point of time.
13:15You're alone and you're cold and you don't know how to figure out life.
13:23I was that numb for those four years.
13:28I believe that art is something that will add value or add benefits to mothers' mental health.
13:47And in order to encourage them, we organise so many events, either through partnership or self-initiated, to give the stage for the mothers to shine.
13:55We actually select the platforms and we curate the exhibitions or pop-up markets for them.
14:06Oh, it actually matches the blazers.
14:10We saw the idea of turning their paintings into wearables like what I am dressed in one now.
14:18And you can see it's actually quite beautiful and it can be worn by everyday women, right?
14:25And it's a way to first let more people see about the art.
14:33To sell a painting may take a long time, but to turn art into fashion apparels will be more market acceptable.
14:42They'll probably get more buyers and that's a way to sustain, you know, their art.
14:46You know, they're art.
15:16I love my children.
15:22My children are like my children.
15:29I think there's no one to go.
15:33I'm going to go swimming.
15:36I'm going to go swimming.
15:38People say,
15:40no, I don't think there's no one to go.
15:46I'm going to go swimming.
15:49I'm going to go swimming.
15:52That's it.
16:07One day, I was teaching inside a class,
16:09and I just broke down.
16:10I couldn't control.
16:12They're like, what happened?
16:16And I think they were the first ones that I told them
16:19that I'm going through a divorce.
16:24One of the kids get up and comes to me and says that,
16:28it's okay.
16:30We are here for you.
16:33And I think the first sense of home came from them.
16:45That's how I started building my own home.
16:49The sense of belonging that I wanted to feel.
16:54For me, home are people who create a safe space for me.
17:08I am extremely independent too,
17:11and I have made my life in a way where I know where I want to be.
17:19My life is great, to be honest.
17:25I'm loving it.
17:27When we do my work with the rest of them,
17:29Yeah, we're so vÃdeo with somehil indulgent.
17:33Let's make sure.
17:38I like it all going on –
17:41Not going on.
17:43I feel like sharing with forever.
17:46I think the pandemic is a great individual.
17:48If you could look,
17:49there are many different ways of creating
17:51and restoring the environment,
17:52I feel that it's exciting.
17:53If you'll make something,
17:54I want to get aanıza style