- 5/8/2025
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, no, dude, what happened to the crops? I don't know dude. They were good last night. I
00:00:08TJ
00:00:09How long did you leave the hose on last night? Huh?
00:00:14till like
00:00:16Now
00:00:18Don't squirt me
00:00:20This is serious
00:00:22All right
00:00:23Once those girls find out that you've murdered a crop they're gonna leave us
00:00:28You think now now you don't know I'm like I do they'll stick with us through thick and thin
00:00:39We'd heard about your crop failure get it we'd heard
00:00:47Bad news travels fast
00:00:49Morning Trixie Dixie
00:00:52Jesus you guys look great in those short short shorts. Do not let him sweet talk you again
00:00:58Always with the posing. What's up with that?
00:01:01But we are super cuties everyone says so
00:01:06I think so too. Will you do something for me? Honey, just try this right put your luggage down
00:01:10Okay, right. Come here. So get closer. Don't be afraid to touch. All right, and then
00:01:15Kind of put your chest out like this
00:01:17And then your lips like this and this with the
00:01:19They get it you can stop
00:01:22I'm very sorry about that. It's just when you guys get together. You're really hot really hot
00:01:27Well, we're very very sorry for your loss really we are right Trixie
00:01:32But we are so out of here
00:01:34What where will you go?
00:01:37We'll take care of you
00:01:39My dad's a lawyer in Encino and her dad is a gynecologist in woodland hills remember?
00:01:44So I guess we'll just go home and get checkups
00:01:49What don't everybody look at me like I'm weird
00:01:53Benji
00:01:53T.J. You're both really sweet guys, but you're not living up to your potential. So no, we are off like a prom dress
00:02:04Good luck. Um, right if you make money. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but I took the last of your shake and um
00:02:10This'll ding. Wait, come on. Dixie. What about the movies?
00:02:15See, I told you they'd stay. This is all your fault. All right. Now we have no weed no crop
00:02:20I know girls at least this day can't get any worse, right? Good day
00:02:27I have my two invisible informants who just told me that you're out of the pot business
00:02:31Just got off the phone with your aunt Ethel
00:02:34She told me she's going to be back from florida on the 31st and she wants you out of the house before she gets home 30 days 30 days
00:02:42A problem is an opportunity in disguise. You can do it. I believe in you
00:02:51Oh
00:03:04See, buddy
00:03:05Baking really relaxes and baking these really does a trick see you want one?
00:03:13Yeah
00:03:15Nice
00:03:21Cool moves, dude
00:03:25Uncle Phil has some
00:03:41She's way bad man. You don't have any not fat?
00:03:44We have some um powdered milk
00:03:57Jesus oh, I'm sorry
00:03:59Just do that
00:04:06Hey, oh no those those aren't um I know what they are
00:04:13They need milk
00:04:21They need milk
00:04:24Great gangina
00:04:25All you guys need is a fresh start a new idea
00:04:29Back in 1903
00:04:31There were two brothers who rent a bicycle shop and they took parts of bicycles right brothers
00:04:37Exactly
00:04:39Then not too long ago in the 30s there was a guy who had a pharmacy store who had a flair for mixing carbonation and cocaine
00:04:46Right caramel colored carbonated
00:04:49Cola drinks
00:04:50Exactly
00:04:51Then not too long ago
00:04:53Two guys got together in a garage put their hands together and came up
00:04:58You talking
00:04:59Wozniak and jobs inventing apple or the two speed freaks who got busted on stratham for starting a meth lab
00:05:04No
00:05:06Wozniak and jobs
00:05:08We don't even have a garage
00:05:09I mean we just have a have a two car covered carport
00:05:13Okay, do you understand the truth of what i'm saying?
00:05:16That's the truth
00:05:19Of the truth
00:05:20I'm leaving
00:05:42We experienced a visitation
00:05:47From the ganja goddess
00:05:50And now we're going to start a bikini modeling academy
00:05:53And change the lives and the bikinis of everyone we touch
00:05:58And Uncle Seymour's gonna get government money for the students
00:06:03Hi
00:06:04Hi
00:06:05Bikini modeling isn't just a job
00:06:08It's a way of life
00:06:10And it's a state of mind
00:06:12We
00:06:13Ask
00:06:14BMA
00:06:16Bikini model academy
00:06:18Believe that any girl
00:06:20Or woman
00:06:21Can find and
00:06:23Maintain
00:06:23Maintain
00:06:24Their inner beauty
00:06:27And
00:06:29We
00:06:29Show you
00:06:31How
00:06:31Financial aid is available
00:06:33For those who can apply
00:06:35BMA
00:06:41Bangorang
00:06:46Bitch
00:06:46That's the good
00:06:47That's good
00:06:48And we're good
00:06:48You look good
00:06:49You're kind of natural at that
00:06:51Like a brando
00:06:53A young brando
00:06:54Congratulations
00:06:56Now you have a website
00:06:58Now you're legit
00:07:00The next thing any successful business needs
00:07:03Is a business plan
00:07:05Okay
00:07:05To have a business plan
00:07:07You need a white board
00:07:09Come on man
00:07:10Come on
00:07:14Good
00:07:15All right
00:07:15Right now
00:07:21You're probably wondering
00:07:23Hey
00:07:23Who's that dickhead in the sports car with Trixie
00:07:27That is the guy that we've hated since we were 12
00:07:30Gordon Randolph
00:07:31Beauregard
00:07:32Staddlemire
00:07:33Or as we maliciously taunted him since great school
00:07:36Grubs now
00:07:38That's grubs now
00:07:41You remember that paper route he had
00:07:43And that like recycling thing
00:07:45Well apparently he turned it into a big business
00:07:48In addition to owning arcades and internet cafes
00:07:50A paintball park
00:07:52Oh no
00:07:53He owns a bikini modeling school
00:07:55That bastard stole the idea
00:07:57This supports my theory that he can spy on us since June 05
00:08:00You cannot let the conspiracy thing go
00:08:02Our idea can still work
00:08:05Oh dude it's such an evil menace's asswipe
00:08:10That's right fuckers
00:08:12It's me
00:08:13Gordon Randolph
00:08:14Beauregard
00:08:15Staddlemire
00:08:16All grown up as you can see
00:08:19Wanna drag
00:08:28You know I'd ask you how it's Trix
00:08:30But as you can see
00:08:33I already know
00:08:43You know I already know about your little futile exercise
00:08:52I can tell you one thing
00:08:54It won't amount to nothing
00:09:01Anyway
00:09:02That guy's such a
00:09:10I can't even say it
00:09:13I want to be like him
00:09:14Okay
00:09:15I know
00:09:15I hate him but I want what he has
00:09:17I want it
00:09:18I want it
00:09:18I want to be like him
00:09:19Number one
00:09:20Get girls
00:09:20Number two
00:09:22Get girls
00:09:23Number three
00:09:24Get girls
00:09:26Bikini model academy
00:09:27Help me
00:09:27Bikini model
00:09:28Can I recruit you
00:09:29Can I recruit you for my bikini modeling school
00:09:30How about if it's free
00:09:31No
00:09:32No
00:09:32How about if I pay you
00:09:33Right
00:09:33I can do that
00:09:35Bikini model
00:09:36Did you say that you would pay me
00:09:40Yeah
00:09:41Is that for your school
00:09:42Take that
00:09:44For you
00:09:45Here we go
00:09:48What kind of school pays girls to become bikini models
00:09:54Uh one that wants to attract students
00:10:01I'm trying to reverse engineer the model okay
00:10:06Now we have the students we'll just make it up in volume
00:10:14Watch out
00:10:17TJ will you fix that please
00:10:18There's a shadow on her face
00:10:21I used to be a cheerleader
00:10:22Impressive
00:10:24Impressive
00:10:25Can you do the other leg
00:10:27I can try
00:10:32Nice
00:10:35Okay hi
00:10:35What's your name
00:10:36Where are you from
00:10:37And if you could just repeat the questions in your answer
00:10:40My name is Sandy
00:10:42And I'm originally from Miami
00:10:44My name is Catherine
00:10:46Idaho
00:10:46Idaho
00:10:47Yes
00:10:48Idaho like uh
00:10:50Idaho
00:10:51Idaho
00:10:52Uh-huh
00:10:52Okay
00:10:53Um
00:10:53Idaho
00:10:54Mary Cruz
00:10:55Bye
00:10:56Hey my name's Tarnay
00:10:57What's your name
00:10:58My parents call me Jane
00:11:00My name's Colleen
00:11:02I'm Olga and I'm a Russian spy
00:11:03Sue Ellen and I am from Bakersfield
00:11:07What would you say is your favorite feature
00:11:10Like on my cell phone or like in my car
00:11:12My eyes
00:11:13I love the like the sunroof look
00:11:16It's automatic I don't have to crank it
00:11:18What
00:11:18You smell really good
00:11:28What do you think is your worst feature
00:11:29My thighs
00:11:30Your thighs
00:11:31Yeah
00:11:32Because they so thick they good for kicking somebody's ass
00:11:36Kicking ass and taking the eight
00:11:37You should not be looking at my body like that
00:11:39That is not professional
00:11:41My nipples
00:11:43That's impressive
00:11:44Bikini models don't have bad features
00:11:46Cool
00:11:47What was the happiest day in your life
00:11:48My daddy brought me a little pink bike with a kitten in it
00:11:52What do your favorite girlfriends say about you behind your back
00:11:55Well my favorite friends are books and I'm pretty sure they don't talk
00:11:58How would I know what they say behind my back if it's behind my back
00:12:03Honestly what brought you out here today
00:12:05You pay me right
00:12:06I have a lot to expose to the world
00:12:09Probably these guys right here
00:12:11My parents always said you know in case getting my phd in neurobiology
00:12:15And double majoring in quantum physics doesn't really pan out that you know
00:12:18You should always have something to fall back on
00:12:20What does the idea the bikini model mean inside you
00:12:26Is this like a trick question
00:12:27Good luck finding that bikini model inside me
00:12:33Don't worry about him he's uh he doesn't really give a fuck
00:12:37You know I'm totally throwing my heart out to him
00:12:43All right well thank you okay we'll call you soon
00:12:44It's hard work
00:12:46Did you hear that
00:12:46I don't know if I can do it
00:12:47T-Shay this was your idea wanting to shape and mold the girls transform them touch them
00:12:54Change their lives
00:12:57That's not a lot hornier what you say
00:13:00And I can see some potential for the touching parts
00:13:03Rise to this occasion all right
00:13:06Take this and bring your big game
00:13:09Really big game is that it
00:13:13Yeah big game is good
00:13:15I'm trying to give you this
00:13:16I'm here I'm giving you denzel washington to remember the titans
00:13:18You you know what okay you know what here here you want to quit
00:13:23You quit all right I knew this was a full of shit idea and I knew you were going to back out
00:13:26No it's not
00:13:28You know some of us were actually counting on this
00:13:31Yes some of us actually thought this could make a big difference in our lives
00:13:34Really
00:13:37Yes really
00:13:39Some of us actually started believing in you
00:13:43Even me
00:13:45What you did what about now
00:13:49And some of us don't want to twerk anymore
00:13:51I came all the way up to the valley y'all better make this work
00:13:54Put your skirt down let's go guys
00:13:58Bikini models
00:13:59Yeah
00:14:00Yeah
00:14:00Yeah
00:14:01Yeah
00:14:01Yeah
00:14:02Yeah
00:14:02Yeah
00:14:02What
00:14:02BMA
00:14:04BMA
00:14:04BMA
00:14:05BMA
00:14:06BMA
00:14:12Black
00:14:12Black
00:14:13I don't know what I've been told
00:14:16My singing
00:14:17Very nice
00:14:18Very good
00:14:19Very nice
00:14:20Very good
00:14:23While
00:14:27After
00:14:29Here
00:14:30AMA
00:14:31Black
00:14:33Black
00:14:33I can't
00:14:34But
00:14:34Black
00:14:36Black
00:14:37Black
00:14:38Alaska
00:14:38Black
00:14:39Black
00:14:40ized
00:14:41Black
00:14:42Black
00:14:44Black
00:14:45Black
00:14:46Black
00:14:46Black
00:14:48Black
00:14:48Black
00:14:49How about face?
00:14:51This'll work.
00:14:53Let's see here.
00:14:55Oh, I haven't got some split ends, but that's OK.
00:14:57Ooh, LASIK will take care of that.
00:14:59Great, great.
00:15:01Is that a bullet wound?
00:15:03That's OK.
00:15:04Don't even worry about it.
00:15:05Good.
00:15:06How about face?
00:15:08OK, good.
00:15:09Model's looking good.
00:15:10We have, um, some people.
00:15:12Maybe, oh, my God.
00:15:13Oh, my God.
00:15:14Note to self, get some crab powder or spray.
00:15:18Possibly minus that seven.
00:15:20Did you say crab chowder?
00:15:23No, no, no, no.
00:15:25Powder, powder, powder.
00:15:26Really?
00:15:27It's OK.
00:15:28Oh, my God.
00:15:29Oh, my God.
00:15:30No, no, no, no, no.
00:15:32No, no, no.
00:15:33Stop that.
00:15:34Oh, my God, it's disgusting.
00:15:35Oh!
00:15:36Oh!
00:15:37Oh!
00:15:39Give us a second, ladies.
00:15:41Come here.
00:15:42So, uh, what's our next move?
00:15:45Obviously, you can see for yourself.
00:15:48We've got a school.
00:15:49OK, and?
00:15:51And together, we can and will transform these women from the sad, pathetic, lackluster wannabe
00:16:00specimens who stand before us into something exotic, beautiful, luring, and attractive.
00:16:07Ladies?
00:16:08OK.
00:16:09OK.
00:16:10OK.
00:16:11Nice.
00:16:12A little raised by wolves, but...
00:16:14You're cold?
00:16:15It's like 100 degrees.
00:16:16Look.
00:16:17You got crazy guys going on.
00:16:18You're having a stroke?
00:16:19You're having a stroke right now?
00:16:20OK.
00:16:21Hey.
00:16:22OK, yeah.
00:16:23Yeah.
00:16:24I like this.
00:16:25This is...
00:16:26This is nice.
00:16:27I like that.
00:16:28OK, good, good.
00:16:29Hey, how's it going?
00:16:30How's it going?
00:16:31Yes!
00:16:32That's what I thought.
00:16:33That's what I thought.
00:16:34That's what I thought.
00:16:35That's what I thought.
00:16:36That's what I thought.
00:16:37Okay.
00:16:38You want it?
00:16:39You want it?
00:16:40Yeah, I can see it.
00:16:41I can see it.
00:16:42You don't want it?
00:16:43You don't want it?
00:16:44No?
00:16:45No?
00:16:46Okay.
00:16:47OK, like a 5 and a 5.
00:16:49You don't want it.
00:16:51You don't want it?
00:16:55Okay.
00:16:56Okay, like a five.
00:16:58Like a five.
00:16:58Six.
00:16:59Six.
00:17:00Four.
00:17:01It's a four now.
00:17:04What did...
00:17:05What did you guys eat?
00:17:07Kale salad.
00:17:08Oh, I don't want some of that, but I do want some of this.
00:17:11Some of that.
00:17:14Okay.
00:17:14Yeah.
00:17:15Good job.
00:17:16Good job, guys.
00:17:16Okay, let's, uh, turn around.
00:17:24Yes, yes, no, maybe, yes.
00:17:28You know what that is.
00:17:30Okay.
00:17:31And...
00:17:33Okay.
00:17:36About a face.
00:17:41I've looked upon the women, and I have determined that we can,
00:17:45and we will transform these ladies into beautiful bikini models.
00:17:49So, you were looking at the new faces of...
00:17:54Bikini Model Academy!
00:17:56Yeah!
00:17:58Can anyone touch their toes?
00:18:00I can stand on one finger.
00:18:11Oh, wow.
00:18:14We'll work on that.
00:18:21I want to see those stems.
00:18:22Oh, okay.
00:18:23No, no, no, no, that...
00:18:24Whoa!
00:18:25Oh!
00:18:26Oh!
00:18:29That felt really good.
00:18:31Everybody in the pool?
00:18:32Whoa!
00:18:32All right.
00:18:36Come on, come on, come on.
00:18:37Ah!
00:18:38Yes!
00:18:39Oh!
00:18:40Oh!
00:18:40Oh!
00:18:40Oh!
00:18:40Oh, my God!
00:18:45Only thing missing now is the instructor.
00:18:46Stop!
00:18:47Ah!
00:18:47Ah!
00:18:47Ah!
00:18:50Good.
00:18:51Hands on the wall.
00:18:52Kick with the other foot!
00:18:53Kick!
00:18:54And kick!
00:18:57Don't let me jump.
00:18:58Look at me.
00:18:58Don't let me jump.
00:18:59Look at me.
00:19:00Very good.
00:19:01Kick!
00:19:01And...
00:19:01Very good.
00:19:02Very good.
00:19:03Very good.
00:19:03Very good.
00:19:04Very good.
00:19:05Very good.
00:19:06Very good.
00:19:17All right.
00:19:36All right.
00:19:36OK.
00:19:37Ladies, I want you to walk for us, please.
00:19:41TJ's going to lead this.
00:19:42OK.
00:19:44good. Well done. Okay, all right, let's go. Come on. As of right now, you're not the upper
00:20:09echelon of bikini models that I've ever seen. But I believe that with TJ's help, I can mold
00:20:22you. I believe in my heart of hearts that I can shape, that I can transform you into something
00:20:27that you will be proud of, not just proud of in your hearts and in your body, but also
00:20:33in your mind. I believe in you. I believe in you. Bring it in, guys. Bring it in. Let's
00:20:48go. Hey.
00:20:53TJ, look. It's a damn lawyer's letter. Man, this is something I have.
00:20:58From the internet, Grubsnout must have figured out that we were doing the school.
00:21:04It's from some law firm representing our arch nemesis, Grubsnout.
00:21:08And he sent a lawyer's letter threatening legal actions to shut us down.
00:21:12It also says, uh, do not ignore this letter, but they all say that. Well, that's that.
00:21:17Can I, uh, can I see that, bro?
00:21:20Which we handled in our usual professional manner.
00:21:24Oh, those two punks aren't going to know what's going to hit them. I'm so excited.
00:21:30By ignoring it.
00:21:32Yeah, it's going to go down. It's going to go down one big time.
00:21:36All right. I'll catch you soon. Bye.
00:21:38Which only made Grubsnout snoutier.
00:21:42Benji was really proud of his motivational skills. He really got those girls up and moving.
00:21:54Of course, he had help.
00:21:56But he soon came to realize he was going to need a little bit of work on his endurance and stamina.
00:22:14Not to mention the spitting up.
00:22:26So what do you guys think about the plan?
00:22:31Let's just give it some time. I mean, they gave us a chance. Let's give them at least a chance.
00:22:36Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:38And besides, we have nothing to worry about. They're paying us.
00:22:42Who is it?
00:22:44It's me, TJ.
00:22:52They want to see you. All of them.
00:22:56Do they have rope?
00:22:58Women can make rope out of anything.
00:23:01I want entanglement.
00:23:03I'm looking for entanglement.
00:23:05I'll take things tied up.
00:23:07I'd use handcuffs.
00:23:09I bet you would.
00:23:11I like whip.
00:23:13She's a bad girl.
00:23:17With those glasses.
00:23:21He has like the yardsticks.
00:23:23A naughty boy.
00:23:25What am I going to do?
00:23:27The best thing you can do is follow your heart.
00:23:31Well, right now my heart is saying...
00:23:35I could pop a window and escape.
00:23:37Or...
00:23:39just tell the truth.
00:23:41Tell the truth.
00:23:43Okay.
00:23:45Plus, I don't have a key for that window anyway.
00:23:47It doesn't matter.
00:23:49Take a deep breath.
00:23:51You're going to be fine.
00:23:53I love to you.
00:23:55And here we go.
00:23:57Hey.
00:23:58I need to talk to you.
00:23:59You owe us money.
00:24:01Mm-hmm.
00:24:02Yes.
00:24:03I...
00:24:04I do.
00:24:05Um...
00:24:06Let's...
00:24:07Let's talk...
00:24:08Hello.
00:24:09Hey, um...
00:24:10Hey!
00:24:11What's going on in here, you guys?
00:24:12Benji!
00:24:13There's a party you guys didn't invite me.
00:24:14So, um...
00:24:15I just have a few words.
00:24:17TJ and I know you all have a lot of questions for us.
00:24:20And you want to voice your opinions.
00:24:21And we will get to that.
00:24:23But first, I had to see if any of you ladies wanted to try one of TJ's delicious brownies!
00:24:31Oh!
00:24:32Huh!
00:24:33TJ personally baked these brownies using all natural, locally homegrown ingredients.
00:24:39And believe you me when I say they are amazing!
00:24:43Yeah.
00:24:44TJ, I know you were saving these for a special occasion, but I feel like this right now is
00:24:51a special occasion.
00:24:53Yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:24:54So, let's...
00:24:55Let's dig in!
00:24:56Come on!
00:24:57Absolutely!
00:24:58Absolutely!
00:24:59Pass them around!
00:25:00Everybody knows that a great bikini model is also, also an excellent hostess.
00:25:03I mean, I don't taste any fiber fiber wigs, but I don't feel any pains either.
00:25:18Um...
00:25:20Wait!
00:25:21Wait!
00:25:22What did we come here to talk about?
00:25:24Oh!
00:25:25Oh!
00:25:26Is there any milk to go with this?
00:25:27Yeah.
00:25:28Oh, yeah.
00:25:29Oh, yeah.
00:25:30It's milk.
00:25:31Whoa!
00:25:32Milk!
00:25:33Whoa!
00:25:34Alright!
00:25:35Yeah!
00:25:36What do you think?
00:25:37Do you want me to pour it on or just drink it?
00:25:40And this is like the most goals I've ever had in my room.
00:25:44My whole life.
00:25:45At once.
00:25:46Or...
00:25:47Or...
00:25:48Or...
00:25:49Humensibly.
00:25:50I was so desperate to get students into our academy that I would've done anything.
00:26:01And you gotta admit, paying you guys really was the only way to get you to show up.
00:26:06Not exactly.
00:26:07I mean, I would've shown up anyway.
00:26:12Yeah.
00:26:13And right now, we're all so high.
00:26:15Oh, yeah.
00:26:16It may seem like we don't care.
00:26:19But tomorrow, we might wanna do bodily harm to both of you.
00:26:23Yes.
00:26:24Yes.
00:26:25Yes.
00:26:26Nice.
00:26:28That's nice.
00:26:29That's a nice little kid who's to totally in my room and I'll take you now.
00:26:33I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:26:34You didn't even know how to do the bathroom.
00:26:36I'm sorry, I got you.
00:26:37I'm sorry.
00:26:38But there's nothing to do today.
00:26:39I'm sorry, I got you, I got you.
00:26:41You're not...
00:26:42I'm sorry, I got you.
00:26:43What?
00:26:44You're not worried.
00:26:45What?
00:26:46I'm sorry, I got you.
00:26:47You're sorry, I got you.
00:26:48I got you.
00:26:49I got you.
00:26:50I got you.
00:26:51Wow.
00:26:52I got you.
00:26:53Um, hello?
00:26:59Come on.
00:27:23Okay, everybody up.
00:27:33Okay, everybody up.
00:27:37So this is your stay, Mom.
00:27:51Morning.
00:27:54Morning.
00:27:58I'm gonna be sick.
00:28:00Watch out.
00:28:01Don't throw up in the pool.
00:28:09You know, I came here to serve papers personally.
00:28:12Make sure you guys are shut down for good.
00:28:15I really do have nothing to worry about.
00:28:18I haven't seen a posse like this since the OK Corral.
00:28:21Whoa.
00:28:22They were all banished.
00:28:23A man with moustaches.
00:28:25Whoa.
00:28:26Hey, now.
00:28:27Whoa.
00:28:28In fact, I've seen hookers on Van Nuys Boulevard.
00:28:31They're better than you, sorry pieces of shit.
00:28:34Whoa.
00:28:35Whoa.
00:28:36Are you talking about the hookers under the bridge?
00:28:38By Sherman Wang?
00:28:40I'm just an idiot.
00:28:42You see?
00:28:43Are you fucking talking shit?
00:28:45Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:28:46Whoa.
00:28:47You cannot come in here and say that.
00:28:49Am I right, ladies?
00:28:50Oh, yeah.
00:28:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28:52And who the hell are you anyway?
00:28:53I'm Gordon Randolph Beauregard Stalin.
00:28:57What is this?
00:28:58I'm on the big topic of modeling school and a bunch of other cool stuff.
00:29:01Ooh.
00:29:02Perhaps you've heard of me.
00:29:04We have heard of you.
00:29:05Yeah, terrible things.
00:29:06And we don't like you.
00:29:07And your mom will be on Van Nuys Boulevard.
00:29:09Oh!
00:29:10Oh!
00:29:11Oh!
00:29:12Oh!
00:29:13What happened?
00:29:14I can't raise you, bro.
00:29:15We don't like the things you say about us or what you just did to us.
00:29:18And your mama's a training.
00:29:20Oh!
00:29:21No, no, no.
00:29:22I will whoop that ass.
00:29:23Don't want me back.
00:29:24Guys, guys, guys, look.
00:29:25She's crazy.
00:29:26She's crazy.
00:29:27Guys, guys, look.
00:29:30Little chance of that happening around here with the likes of you.
00:29:33You missed.
00:29:34Even if what?
00:29:36Even if you were united.
00:29:37What if we were?
00:29:38Yeah, what if we were?
00:29:39Yeah, what if we were?
00:29:40We are.
00:29:41I gotta be honest.
00:29:46I might just be trying to bust your guys' balls a little because my dad owns, like,
00:29:50three states and I'm an heiress.
00:29:51Which three?
00:29:52It doesn't matter which three.
00:29:53They're states.
00:29:54Please continue.
00:29:55Point is, I don't need the money.
00:29:57Then why are you slumming with us?
00:29:59Yeah.
00:30:00I wasn't slumming.
00:30:01I just wanted to see if I actually had the nerve to become a successful bikini model.
00:30:06And I realized I do have what it takes.
00:30:09Yeah.
00:30:10I have the charm, the poise, and the bod.
00:30:14Yeah.
00:30:15I'm not good all day.
00:30:16So, I don't have to do this.
00:30:20But, seriously, that grub snout guy is a real jerk.
00:30:24And I'm for anything that's against him.
00:30:26Oh, yeah?
00:30:27Yeah?
00:30:28And I'll even fund some scholarships.
00:30:29I got you guys.
00:30:30I got you guys.
00:30:31Speed to Gonzales.
00:30:32Speed to Gonzales.
00:30:33Come on.
00:30:34Come on.
00:30:35Okay.
00:30:36Let's do this.
00:30:37Yeah.
00:30:38Let's get this guy.
00:30:39Game in three.
00:30:40One, two, three.
00:30:41Oh, yeah?
00:30:46Yeah.
00:30:47Yeah.
00:30:48Wow.
00:30:49Putt up or shutt up?
00:30:50What's that supposed to be?
00:30:51It means P-brain, or should I say, 4.0 putts in.
00:30:55That was really personal.
00:30:56Coming from a guy who's calling me grub snout since I was 12.
00:31:00Grub snout!
00:31:01Grub snout!
00:31:02Grub snout!
00:31:03It's like a social ranking thing.
00:31:04Listen.
00:31:05It's like a must thing.
00:31:06Listen, man.
00:31:07You have a really huge size, bud.
00:31:08Just let it go.
00:31:09I've suffered.
00:31:10Alright?
00:31:11You're still suffering.
00:31:13Believe me.
00:31:14Too much therapy.
00:31:16And yet somehow, not enough.
00:31:21This ballet isn't big enough for the both, the three of us.
00:31:25So it goes down like this.
00:31:27We have a pose down competition.
00:31:30Like what?
00:31:31Huh?
00:31:32Like what's he?
00:31:33I don't know.
00:31:34Go on.
00:31:35My best against your best.
00:31:40Our girls against your girls.
00:31:44Womano a womani.
00:31:46Here's the dealio.
00:31:47Dork.
00:31:48Dork.
00:31:49Pork.
00:31:50Oh!
00:31:51Oh!
00:31:52Oh!
00:31:53Uh-uh.
00:31:54We make a list of categories.
00:31:56The ultimate test of any bikini model's skillset.
00:31:59You can bring as many girls as you want.
00:32:02I can bring as many girls as I want.
00:32:05I've got someone impartial to judge.
00:32:07If my empire should somehow lose to you,
00:32:12uh, you can have my big Tom McKinney modeling school
00:32:17and my awesome paintball part.
00:32:20Oh.
00:32:21That was nice.
00:32:22Wow.
00:32:23Pow pow pow pow.
00:32:24Not bad.
00:32:25And if we win, you'll come round and we'll shoot in the ass, man.
00:32:29Yeah.
00:32:30Yeah.
00:32:31The other part is this.
00:32:33If you lose, Juan, you close down and get that ridiculous commercial off the internet.
00:32:39See?
00:32:40I told you.
00:32:41Advertising works.
00:32:42Yeah.
00:32:43Buzzaw, fossil face.
00:32:44Whoa.
00:32:45Whoa.
00:32:46Yeah.
00:32:47He is a national treasure.
00:32:49So like I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, Juan, your commercial goes away.
00:32:56And two, all of your girls, including plain Jane and scary Mary over there, sign exclusive contracts with my school.
00:33:06I'll put them in my freaky, creepy division.
00:33:10Whoa.
00:33:11That's me, dude.
00:33:12That's low.
00:33:13That's low.
00:33:14That's low.
00:33:15And three, you have to leave the comfort of TJ's aunt's castle and vacate the valley.
00:33:23Never to return again.
00:33:24What?
00:33:25That's not a bench.
00:33:26What are you going to banish us?
00:33:28Who are you?
00:33:29Lord Voldemort?
00:33:30More you grouse.
00:33:31Simply more afraid you appear.
00:33:33Oh, poor old Benji.
00:33:35Don't cry.
00:33:36Want some milk?
00:33:38You also have to pass random weed pee tests for a year.
00:33:43What?
00:33:44Comprendo?
00:33:45Think you can handle that?
00:33:47So, ladies and gentlemen, we have a wager.
00:33:52See it right?
00:33:53Yeah.
00:33:54Yes, I'm in.
00:33:55Let's do it.
00:33:57We got this.
00:33:58BMA.
00:33:59One, two, three.
00:34:00BMA!
00:34:01You know what?
00:34:02We're in it to win it.
00:34:04Let the games begin.
00:34:07Bye.
00:34:08Oh, you're going down.
00:34:10Bitches.
00:34:11Hey, stranger.
00:34:12Hey, stranger.
00:34:13Hey, stranger.
00:34:14How are you?
00:34:15Good.
00:34:16Yeah.
00:34:17You look different.
00:34:18Oh.
00:34:19Like, good different.
00:34:20Thanks.
00:34:21Yeah, I've, uh, girls have me working out and, uh, they gave me some style items.
00:34:24Yeah.
00:34:25Yeah.
00:34:26Yeah.
00:34:27I really miss you.
00:34:28Yeah?
00:34:29Yeah.
00:34:30Well, you know, I've really missed you.
00:34:31Wait.
00:34:32Wait, hang on.
00:34:33Did you just say you missed me?
00:34:34Really?
00:34:35Yes, I said it.
00:34:36Really?
00:34:37I've been smoking your favorite things every single day.
00:34:38Chewbacca?
00:34:39Yeah.
00:34:40Oh, that's great.
00:34:41That's great.
00:34:42That's great.
00:34:43So I, uh, I heard about this big bet.
00:34:44Yeah, yeah.
00:34:45So do you think you guys are going to win?
00:34:46I mean, I hope so.
00:34:47I mean, uh, we haven't even seen the categories or the rules, but, uh, I can't even think
00:34:51you guys are going to win.
00:34:52Yeah?
00:34:53Yeah.
00:34:54Yeah?
00:34:55Yeah.
00:34:56Well, you know, I've really missed you.
00:34:57Wait, hang on.
00:34:58Did you just say you missed me?
00:34:59Really?
00:35:00Yes, I said it.
00:35:01I've been smoking your favorite things every single day.
00:35:02Chewbacca?
00:35:03Yeah.
00:35:04Oh, that's great.
00:35:05That's great.
00:35:06That's great.
00:35:07So I, uh, I heard about this big bet.
00:35:09Yeah, yeah.
00:35:10So do you think you guys are going to win?
00:35:11I mean, I hope so.
00:35:12I mean, uh, we haven't even seen the categories or the rules, but, uh, I can't even think
00:35:15I can't even consider the price of losing.
00:35:17You know, I...
00:35:18I know he's your friend, but, you know, you have to trust that he's going to be okay
00:35:23without you.
00:35:24Well, you know, Dixie, there's plenty of good schools out here, too.
00:35:29So, you haven't been slipping it in, one of your models.
00:35:33Slipping it in?
00:35:34I cannot believe you'd not know.
00:35:36Those girls, they're like, you know, just like my sisters.
00:35:41Little sisters.
00:35:42So, what does that make me?
00:35:44Well, definitely not my sister.
00:35:52Hold my hand, hold my hand, hold my hand.
00:35:55Oh, I missed you.
00:35:56So you did it?
00:35:57Yeah.
00:35:58Oh, my God.
00:35:59It's so hot.
00:36:00I missed you.
00:36:01Oh, my God.
00:36:02Oh, my God.
00:36:03Get ready.
00:36:04Oh, my God.
00:36:05Oh, my God.
00:36:06Oh, my God.
00:36:07Oh, my God.
00:36:08Oh, my God.
00:36:09Oh, my God.
00:36:10Oh, my God.
00:36:11I'm sorry.
00:36:12He's with me.
00:36:13It's okay.
00:36:14It's alright.
00:36:15Oh, my God.
00:36:16Oh, my God.
00:36:17Oh! Oh, my God, I'm sorry!
00:36:19He's with me, it's okay!
00:36:21It's okay, it's got a race!
00:36:27So, what kind of night before the start of the big competition party is this anyways?
00:36:32Come on, guys!
00:36:40I suppose not everybody's as excited as everybody else.
00:36:44I get that.
00:36:47I mean, we don't even know all the categories yet, do we?
00:36:50No.
00:36:51I didn't even know there was supposed to be a party.
00:36:54You know, I thought we were supposed to go to bed and think pretty fast.
00:36:59I'm sure the guys have everything under control.
00:37:02No.
00:37:04What's it gonna prove anyways?
00:37:07Yeah, what's it gonna prove anyway?
00:37:09It'll shut that insensitive jerk up.
00:37:12Yeah, that's true.
00:37:14But, only if we win.
00:37:16Yes.
00:37:17So, let's drink to winning.
00:37:18Yes!
00:37:19Cheers!
00:37:20Cheers!
00:37:21I'll give her time to the team of the crime.
00:37:22Yeah, I think.
00:37:24You should go swim in.
00:37:25Like, right now.
00:37:26I never turned to the scene of the crime.
00:37:30Yeah, I think.
00:37:33We should go swimming.
00:37:36Like right now.
00:37:39I don't know.
00:37:41I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
00:37:46I'm getting in. I'm getting in.
00:37:49Let yourself go.
00:37:54Take a chance, risk it all.
00:37:58Oh, that's so good.
00:38:00Like that.
00:38:02Gross, get hit.
00:38:04Open your heart.
00:38:06Where's that carefree goof who thought he knew enough about higher education to open up a bikini academy?
00:38:12And then, bet it all against some rival stuck-up boy.
00:38:17Uh, he's in here. Somewhere.
00:38:22Right now he's sharing brain space with a guy who's pretty sure he's found his perfect mate.
00:38:30But wondering when she's gonna see past all the bravado and fancy talk and realize that he's just a little lost right now.
00:38:42It's okay to be honest about how you feel.
00:38:48It's a little unnerving.
00:38:50And very different from me.
00:38:52Look.
00:38:54My dad is a big and powerful guy today, but he wasn't always like that.
00:39:02He had to wait a long time for my grandpa to die to get all that money.
00:39:06So he wasn't a self-made man?
00:39:08No.
00:39:10I'm kidding.
00:39:14Of course he was a self-made man.
00:39:16But even self-made men don't know how or where they're going.
00:39:22And a lot of them change their mind on the way.
00:39:26What they do have is this absolute conviction.
00:39:32They go and they get it.
00:39:36If this is something that you really want to do, then do your very best.
00:39:42And just know that the universe is gonna meet you halfway.
00:39:48Can you just kiss me and tell me everything's gonna be okay?
00:39:52Yeah, I'll kiss you.
00:39:56But swear to me.
00:39:58You have some kind of angle on winning this thing.
00:40:04Can I tell you the plan after we kiss?
00:40:12Okay.
00:40:26So if we just inflate this,
00:40:30and manipulate this,
00:40:32and provide a few deliberately fabricated pieces of it.
00:40:42Great fortunes are made on the backs of scary challenges,
00:40:50but significant opportunities.
00:40:52What?
00:40:54We can't even talk to our girls like that, man.
00:40:56We have to do something.
00:40:57I know, I know, man.
00:40:58But a pose down competition, really?
00:41:00I'm talking about something serious, okay?
00:41:03Uh-huh.
00:41:04I'm talking about my girl.
00:41:07Colleen?
00:41:09Sheesh, sheesh.
00:41:11I mean...
00:41:13Sheesh.
00:41:14Can you even...
00:41:15Can you even count on her?
00:41:16I mean, do you even really know her?
00:41:20What if I got to know her...
00:41:23last night?
00:41:24A lot.
00:41:25Oh!
00:41:26Tell me.
00:41:27How was the, uh,
00:41:28the all-fired-up, go-team, uh, pre-game sex?
00:41:32Dude, that's...
00:41:34That's a personal question,
00:41:36and none of your...
00:41:37none of your business.
00:41:38So, I shouldn't say anything bad,
00:41:41because she's standing right behind me, right?
00:41:43Exactly.
00:41:44And if you really want to know,
00:41:46sex is good.
00:41:47Thoughtful.
00:41:49Considerate.
00:41:50Probing.
00:41:52Curious.
00:41:53And very oral.
00:41:55Very oral?
00:41:56You know what?
00:41:57Uh, I'm good.
00:41:58It's okay.
00:41:59You don't need to tell me anymore.
00:42:00I can just...
00:42:01And, you know, your friend TJ here
00:42:02has a very big...
00:42:03What?
00:42:04Okay!
00:42:05...leans to the right a little bit.
00:42:06Jeez!
00:42:07It's my spot in that special way.
00:42:08Jeez!
00:42:09Here you go.
00:42:10I'm gonna go for a walk.
00:42:11Yep.
00:42:12Can I say something?
00:42:13All right.
00:42:14Here, yeah.
00:42:15Come join us.
00:42:16I'm gonna have the image of his penis in my hand.
00:42:17Yeah, enjoy it.
00:42:18Yeah.
00:42:19All right.
00:42:20See you guys later.
00:42:21Sleep on it.
00:42:22You're gonna be okay?
00:42:23Not if we lose.
00:42:24This whole world will have to change.
00:42:25Plus, I think he misses his girlfriend.
00:42:27And what about yours?
00:42:29My world?
00:42:30Or my girlfriend?
00:42:31Girlfriend?
00:42:32Girlfriend?
00:42:33Girlfriend?
00:42:34Well...
00:42:35Going home last night's pep rally.
00:42:37Say win, lose, draw.
00:42:38My world's already changed.
00:42:41Oh, no.
00:42:43No.
00:42:44No.
00:42:45No.
00:42:46No.
00:42:47No.
00:42:48No.
00:42:49No.
00:42:50No.
00:42:51No.
00:42:52No.
00:42:53No.
00:42:54No.
00:42:55No.
00:42:56No.
00:42:57No.
00:42:58No.
00:42:59No.
00:43:00Oh, I'm going to wipe the floor with those two, and their little girly plants.
00:43:11Everything good you're in?
00:43:15Good.
00:43:16Good.
00:43:18That's what I like to hear, man.
00:43:21Oh, all those punks, I didn't know what's going to hit them.
00:43:26All right, I'll catch you later on.
00:43:30Good to speak. Bye. Ciao.
00:43:42This isn't money ball.
00:43:44TJ, this guy, he wants to bury us and enslave our girl, and he wants to do it really, really bad.
00:43:51Okay? This cat is going to come at us really with something surprising and unexpected.
00:43:56So, TJ, the question that we have to ask ourselves is,
00:43:59what is it we won't expect?
00:44:03What?
00:44:04What do you do?
00:44:34What?
00:44:36The genius is here.
00:44:38I brought the rules and categories.
00:44:40They're inside.
00:44:41I'll tell them you're here.
00:44:43They may not want to let you in.
00:44:45Come on, old man.
00:44:46Open the door.
00:44:47Hey!
00:44:49Yo, you guys, come on, man.
00:44:51I got the stuff here.
00:44:53You stoners!
00:44:55You let me in, you pussies!
00:45:04We are right!
00:45:09We are right!
00:45:12We are right!
00:45:13Jimmy, my academy.
00:45:16Jimmy, my academy.
00:45:20All the way!
00:45:25I got the walk, the smile and the smile.
00:45:37Do I have what it takes to go the extra mile?
00:45:40The judges will watch and compare my score.
00:45:43The winner takes all.
00:45:45I hope I'm coming up for more.
00:45:47Time at the BMA.
00:45:49We're gonna sashay.
00:45:50Strapping up and down the catwalk every day.
00:45:54And maybe someday, we'll go all the way.
00:45:57Look at the cream.
00:45:59Ready now and sit down.
00:46:01It's all right!
00:46:02Come on.
00:46:03Come on.
00:46:04Come on.
00:46:05Crap.
00:46:08What?
00:46:09I see you brought everyone.
00:46:13Not in here, idiot.
00:46:15Matching t-shirts, too.
00:46:17Real cute, guys.
00:46:19You know, it's not gonna change the outcome, but...
00:46:22Nice.
00:46:23What's that?
00:46:25This?
00:46:26Oh, these are the competition events.
00:46:28Give us one second.
00:46:29Come here.
00:46:31Look.
00:46:32Okay.
00:46:33This has gotta be rigged somehow in his favor, all right?
00:46:37He's got the events and we don't...
00:46:40Which means right now, but...
00:46:42He has the advantage.
00:46:45I don't suppose you have this in this form?
00:46:52Matter of fact, I do.
00:46:55Come on, hurry up.
00:46:56The list and events.
00:46:57Just waiting for my team.
00:46:58Yeah.
00:46:59By the way, where is your team anyway?
00:47:00Yeah.
00:47:01Oh, my team should be here in any moment.
00:47:02He's probably got a school bus full of them coming up right now.
00:47:04Ah.
00:47:05Here comes the team bus now, chaps.
00:47:09You're coming.
00:47:10Oh, my...
00:47:11Yeah.
00:47:12You're coming.
00:47:13You're coming.
00:47:14Oh, my team should be here in any moment.
00:47:15He's probably got a school bus full of them coming up right now.
00:47:17The bus full of them coming up right now.
00:47:20Ah, here comes the team bus now, chaps.
00:47:47God damn.
00:47:54May I present this year's Big Top Mikini Modeling School's ultimate competitive traveling team.
00:48:03Oh yeah.
00:48:05This is just one person.
00:48:07This, my friends, is the one, the only, splendiferous, the magnificent!
00:48:16Oh my god.
00:48:18Oh.
00:48:19Yeah.
00:48:20Oh my god.
00:48:21Yeah.
00:48:22Oh.
00:48:27Oh.
00:48:28Oh.
00:48:29Oh.
00:48:30Oh.
00:48:31Oh.
00:48:32Oh.
00:48:33Oh.
00:48:34Oh.
00:48:40Might wanna wipe that up.
00:48:42It's alright, I'll just stand in it.
00:48:43God.
00:48:44So I know what you saw here, huh?
00:48:47Shock and awe.
00:48:49That was the idea here.
00:48:51You two were obviously pretty shocked and surprised, right?
00:48:55So, hey, now I've got the claim forms in the car now.
00:48:58Why don't you just call it a day?
00:49:01Your former girl's gonna just sign over right now.
00:49:03You little...
00:49:05Show of force?
00:49:07Doesn't intimidate us.
00:49:08I don't know, bro.
00:49:09She's pretty fucking hot.
00:49:10We stand before you unfazed.
00:49:12This is war, my friend.
00:49:14And we're ready to duke it out.
00:49:16Well, don't say I didn't give you a chance.
00:49:19This is your only t-mail.
00:49:20Do I need to spell it out for you, dumbass?
00:49:21There's no need for insults here.
00:49:22And we can put up anybody we want against her.
00:49:23Yeah.
00:49:24Yeah.
00:49:25As long as they're wearing one of your quaint little t-shirts.
00:49:26I think your money ball idea may not be that far off the mark.
00:49:40What about the judges?
00:49:42Well, after you met Splendiforous, I didn't think you'd want anyone.
00:49:45Ah, so you didn't arrange a judge, and now you forfeit!
00:49:49It's the world-famous actress, model, and celebian.
00:49:56Oh, my goddess!
00:49:58That car must have a bigger backseat than I thought.
00:50:01Morgan!
00:50:02Morgan backseat!
00:50:03You're a child!
00:50:04Star of stage, screen, and TV queen.
00:50:08Hello.
00:50:09But most awesomest in...
00:50:10Dallas!
00:50:11It's the woman standing before you as a classic actress,
00:50:16especially on the series Friends.
00:50:19Ah!
00:50:20Thank you, Nick.
00:50:33Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
00:50:36So, someone told me that there are games here today.
00:50:40I hope you've got a lot of coffee.
00:50:43Oh, thank you.
00:50:44Thanks.
00:50:45Oh, you call this coffee?
00:50:50Come on.
00:50:51Oh, my God.
00:50:52This is happening.
00:50:53I'm so excited.
00:50:54I could scream.
00:50:55Ah!
00:50:56Let's see.
00:50:58For the first one...
00:51:00Ah!
00:51:01Well, this is easy.
00:51:03Um...
00:51:04Height, weight, and proportions.
00:51:07To make this a little more fair,
00:51:13we have invited a friend of Uncle Seymour's, Father Tim, from St. Mary Jane Rectory.
00:51:20Woo!
00:51:21Okay.
00:51:22We have her splendiferous.
00:51:23Height, 5'11", and 7'8", in heels.
00:51:26Hips, 36.
00:51:27Waist, 23.
00:51:28Bust, 32 seats.
00:51:29I got this!
00:51:30Sandy, you're up!
00:51:31Woo!
00:51:32Woo!
00:51:33Woo!
00:51:34Woo!
00:51:35Woo!
00:51:36Woo!
00:51:37Woo!
00:51:38Woo!
00:51:39Woo!
00:51:40Woo!
00:51:41Woo!
00:51:42Woo!
00:51:43Woo!
00:51:44Woo!
00:51:45Woo!
00:51:46Woo!
00:51:47Woo!
00:51:48Woo!
00:51:49Woo!
00:51:50Woo!
00:51:51Woo!
00:51:52Woo!
00:51:53Woo!
00:51:54Woo!
00:51:55Woo!
00:51:56Woo!
00:51:57Woo!
00:51:58Woo!
00:51:59Woo!
00:52:00Woo!
00:52:01Woo!
00:52:02Woo!
00:52:03Woo!
00:52:04Woo!
00:52:05Woo!
00:52:06Woo!
00:52:07Woo!
00:52:08Woo!
00:52:09Woo!
00:52:10Woo!
00:52:11Woo!
00:52:12Woo!
00:52:13Woo!
00:52:14Woo!
00:52:15Woo!
00:52:16Woo!
00:52:17Woo!
00:52:18Woo!
00:52:19Woo!
00:52:20Good job, good job, good job.
00:52:24Good job, ladies.
00:52:26So, for the first competition, it is a tie.
00:52:30Two points to each team.
00:52:33You want to tell me what the fuck happened?
00:52:35I'll get him on the next one.
00:52:37The second competition, walking in high heels.
00:52:42And for you folks out there, a little warning, don't try this at home.
00:52:47It's harder than it looks.
00:52:50Oh, my God.
00:53:03Yes!
00:53:09Yes!
00:53:11Yes!
00:53:12That's amazing!
00:53:13Yes!
00:53:20It's not going to happen.
00:53:35VMA!
00:53:36VMA!
00:53:37Sorry!
00:53:38VMA!
00:53:39VMA!
00:53:40VMA!
00:53:41VMA!
00:53:42VMA!
00:53:43VMA!
00:53:44So for the balance beam, two points to VMA.
00:53:48VMA!
00:53:51And zero to Big Top.
00:53:55The next one is the backwash competition, in which we see who knows how to properly taste
00:54:01a fine vintage.
00:54:03Watch this.
00:54:04All right.
00:54:05Go.
00:54:06Oh, well, VMA seems to want to go first.
00:54:10Ladies?
00:54:11We drink a lot of wine where I'm from.
00:54:12Careful.
00:54:13Let's go!
00:54:14Let's go!
00:54:15Fix it!
00:54:16Fix it, girl!
00:54:19Closer, closer!
00:54:24Speed it up, priestie, let's go!
00:54:33Oh, that whole thing's gone!
00:54:38Classy.
00:54:39Class act.
00:54:41Let me show you how it's done.
00:54:43It's a Mendocino Merlot, 2001, and it's a little on the dry side.
00:55:04Ah, well, the judge scores this one zero for BMA.
00:55:10Sorry, two points to Big Top.
00:55:13Ladies, you gotta watch that wine.
00:55:16Well, table bussing.
00:55:19You may not trust me after the last competition, but...
00:55:23You may not trust me after the last competition, but in my day job I'm a waitress, and I'm even better after my first glass of wine.
00:55:33We're trusting you at this one, okay?
00:55:34Okay.
00:55:35Listen, do not drop the damn train.
00:55:36Okay.
00:55:37Okay.
00:55:38Have fun.
00:55:39I won't let you guys down.
00:55:40You don't go!
00:55:41Yeah!
00:55:42TSA!
00:55:43TSA!
00:55:44TSA!
00:55:45TSA!
00:55:46TSA!
00:55:47TSA!
00:55:48TSA!
00:55:49TSA!
00:55:50TSA!
00:55:51TSA!
00:55:52TSA!
00:55:53TSA!
00:55:54TSA!
00:55:55TSA!
00:55:56TSA!
00:55:57TSA!
00:55:58TSA!
00:55:59TSA!
00:56:00TSA!
00:56:01TSA!
00:56:02TSA!
00:56:03TSA!
00:56:04TSA!
00:56:05TSA!
00:56:06TSA!
00:56:07TSA!
00:56:08TSA!
00:56:09For Bus Boy Balancing Act, Sandy seems to be somewhat of a professional in this one.
00:56:30But we will split the points one to each team.
00:56:33Come on, we should have got that one!
00:56:35Be fair, Morgan Fairchild, be fair!
00:56:38Sorry, guys.
00:56:39I calls him as I sees him.
00:56:41But next category, or we're going to be here all night.
00:56:44This one is singing, dancing, playing musical instruments, those sort of normal beauty pageant things.
00:56:50Oh, this is great.
00:56:58Blonde hair, don't care.
00:57:00I'm hot, you're not.
00:57:03BMA is gonna flop.
00:57:05Let's go big time!
00:57:08Go Wildcat!
00:57:09Go Wildcat!
00:57:09Go Wildcat!
00:57:09Go Wildcat!
00:57:40In the traditional beauty talent contest, two points to B.M.M.
00:57:56This takes us to Olympic ribbon twirling.
00:58:05Pauline, end this for us.
00:58:10Get it! Get it!
00:58:11Start!
00:58:12Okay, girls. Stop. Stop. Stop.
00:58:15I declare this one a time, okay?
00:58:17One point for each side, and let's just mercifully move on.
00:58:21Next, we have timed chess.
00:58:28Take that.
00:58:31Bad move.
00:58:33Bye-bye.
00:58:34Bye-bye.
00:58:37Time.
00:58:40And it looks like we have a stalemate, a draw. One point to each side.
00:58:45Good job, girl.
00:58:48The competition is really heating up.
00:58:51This is the Can You Eat a Full Three-Course Dinner event.
00:58:55Eat it for me!
00:58:56And as my Irish aunt used to say, don't fill up on the bread.
00:59:01So, are you ladies ready? Go.
00:59:05Usually you think that anybody can eat a regular dinner and dessert, but not models.
00:59:09What's that?
00:59:11I don't see anything.
00:59:19Done.
00:59:20Very nice.
00:59:21Very nice.
00:59:22Oh, you have an extra breast.
00:59:25I call foul!
00:59:26Foul!
00:59:30Yes, qualify!
00:59:32Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:59:34Oops.
00:59:35Don't be a sore loser.
00:59:39How about if I just award the two points to BMA?
00:59:43Yeah!
00:59:44Yeah!
00:59:44A little one-on-one water polo.
00:59:54The winner has to win by two goals, and winner gets five points.
01:00:00I'm not scared of you.
01:00:03Really?
01:00:05Ready?
01:00:12I got it!
01:00:13You're doing good, right?
01:00:14Here, you get in there!
01:00:24Come on.
01:00:33Come on!
01:00:34You got it!
01:00:35Yeah!
01:00:36Yeah!
01:00:36Come on!
01:00:37You're all in this!
01:00:38Yeah!
01:00:40You're all in this!
01:00:43Yeah!
01:00:47Spike!
01:00:47Go for the spike!
01:00:48You got it!
01:00:51Come on!
01:00:59Come on!
01:01:00Time out!
01:01:00Oh, my God!
01:01:01You got it!
01:01:07Go!
01:01:20Go!
01:01:22Go!
01:01:23Go!
01:01:23Go!
01:01:23Go!
01:01:24Go!
01:01:25Go!
01:01:25Go!
01:01:25Go!
01:01:29For all the two events, our score is Bikini Model Academy 11 points, Big Top Modeling School 13 points.
01:01:38Yes!
01:01:40It's okay. Hey, we're still in it, guys. We're still in it, all right?
01:01:44Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
01:01:46The subtly is overwhelming. Oh, this is nice. A classic facial beauty pose dome.
01:01:53How about Jane?
01:01:54Come on, Jane Jane.
01:01:55Jane Jane.
01:01:56You want to rig it? It's good.
01:01:58I love it.
01:02:00No, no, no.
01:02:01Jane Jane Jane.
01:02:03Bye!
01:02:05Bye!
01:02:06Whoo!
01:02:07Whoo!
01:02:08Whoo!
01:02:09Whoo!
01:02:10Good t-shirt!
01:02:21God damn! I'm sorry, baby, but she's got those yams.
01:02:24Look at those yam-yams.
01:02:25Look at those yam-yams.
01:02:26Love them.
01:02:28Look at the black eye on her.
01:02:38Whoo!
01:02:39Whoo!
01:02:40Whoo!
01:02:41Open the eye! Open the eye!
01:02:42That's right!
01:02:43Ooh, that was good.
01:03:00Whoo!
01:03:02Whoo!
01:03:04Whoo!
01:03:05Whoo!
01:03:06My legs used to look like that.
01:03:18And now a new point total. We have two points for BMA for the beauty event.
01:03:31Whoo!
01:03:32That fucking bitch! That fucking bitch!
01:03:33That was for you!
01:03:34That was for me?
01:03:35Aw.
01:03:36You are so beautiful.
01:03:37I love you.
01:03:38I love you.
01:03:39No!
01:03:40No!
01:03:41No!
01:03:42No!
01:03:43No!
01:03:44No!
01:03:45No!
01:03:46No!
01:03:47No!
01:03:48No!
01:03:49No!
01:03:50No!
01:03:51No!
01:03:52No!
01:03:53No!
01:03:54No!
01:03:55No!
01:03:56No!
01:03:57No!
01:03:58No!
01:03:59No!
01:04:00No!
01:04:01No!
01:04:02No!
01:04:03No!
01:04:04No!
01:04:05No!
01:04:06No!
01:04:07No!
01:04:08No!
01:04:09No!
01:04:10No!
01:04:11No!
01:04:12No!
01:04:13No!
01:04:14No!
01:04:15No!
01:04:16No!
01:04:17No!
01:04:18No!
01:04:19No!
01:04:20No!
01:04:21No!
01:04:22No!
01:04:23No!
01:04:24No!
01:04:25No!
01:04:26No!
01:04:27No!
01:04:28Wins this, wins the big prize.
01:04:31Just try not to hit us if you can help it.
01:04:38Ladies, goggles on.
01:04:43Alright, good luck.
01:04:51Get her in the face!
01:04:58Hey, bitch!
01:05:28Get her in the face!
01:05:5837 hits on Colleen, and 52 hits on Splendiferous.
01:06:05So, guys, VMA wins.
01:06:11Fucking win!
01:06:15What are you so sore about?
01:06:21I'm like, you'll lose anything.
01:06:22Shoot him in the fight!
01:06:26Shoot him in the fight!
01:06:37So, as I understand it, to the victor go the spoils.
01:06:42Isn't that what they say in Spartacus?
01:06:44Anyway, that means that, uh, both the Big Top Modeling School
01:06:50and the Your Ass is Grass Paintball Park
01:06:55now belong to TJ and Benji.
01:06:59VMA! VMA! VMA! VMA! VMA!
01:07:04As soon as Grubby gets over here and signs off on him.
01:07:07One, two, three.
01:07:09VMA!
01:07:12Come on, honey.
01:07:13One, two, three.
01:07:14One, two, three.
01:07:15Oh, my God.
01:07:16Oh, wow.
01:07:17That's my cover.
01:07:18That's my cover.
01:07:18Ow.
01:07:32He's such a monster.
01:07:33No hard feelings, man.
01:07:34What was that?
01:07:37Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:07:38Hey, no hard feelings.
01:07:39Somebody's more of a loser.
01:07:40Loser.
01:07:41Oh, shit.
01:07:42All right, let's go.
01:07:44What happened, Ben?
01:07:47Get in the freezer.
01:07:51Baby!
01:07:53You did it.
01:07:54We did it.
01:07:55Congratulations.
01:07:58Oh, my God.
01:08:00You know that man I was talking about,
01:08:03the one that I knew you could be?
01:08:05He's sitting right here.
01:08:07I'm so proud of you.
01:08:12Are you excited?
01:08:14So, we should have the accountants look at everything
01:08:16before we decide what to do next.
01:08:19That is, if you're okay with it.
01:08:22I think you were right about me.
01:08:24And about a lot of things, after all.
01:08:28So, does that mean you're going to hold on to the school in the academy?
01:08:31Don't forget the paintball park.
01:08:33Good.
01:08:34I know you have your heart set on running schools.
01:08:37Well, it would prove that I fought through and things proved that.
01:08:39I think you've proven a lot already.
01:08:44Not done yet.
01:08:52So, here's what I learned at Bikini Model Academy.
01:08:56When you look very close,
01:08:58there's no such thing as an ordinary, average girl.
01:09:02The boys were right after all.
01:09:03There's a hidden, special beauty inside each and every one of us.
01:09:07If you just know where to look and how to find it,
01:09:10deep down, we're all bikini models.
01:09:13Catherine!
01:09:14Thank you so much.
01:09:17This is a dream come true.
01:09:21Scary Mary!
01:09:25That's the furthest surprise!
01:09:27Good job, Scary Mary.
01:09:28I got a man's go.
01:09:36Good job.
01:09:41Olga.
01:09:50Did you say Bikini Model Academy?
01:09:54Yeah, yeah.
01:09:55Sandy!
01:09:55Sandy!
01:09:55You've become our finest bikini model.
01:10:00Congratulations, Sandy.
01:10:02You are now official.
01:10:03Kisses.
01:10:08Oh, I love you.
01:10:10I love you!
01:10:11I love you!
01:10:13Ella!
01:10:18Isabel!
01:10:21Thank you!
01:10:22Thank you!
01:10:22Thank you!
01:10:25Ladies and gentlemen,
01:10:30Bikini Model Academy 2015,
01:10:32graduating class.
01:10:33Yeah!
01:10:35Woo!
01:10:35Woo!
01:10:35Woo!
01:10:35Woo!
01:10:38Woo!
01:10:39Woo!
01:10:40Woo!
01:10:40Boo!
01:10:40Woo!
01:10:42Woo!
01:10:44Woo!
01:10:46Woo!
01:10:47Woo!
01:10:47Woo!
01:10:47Woo!
01:10:48Woo!
01:10:49Woo!
01:10:49Woo!
01:10:50Woo!
01:10:51Woo!
01:10:52Woo!
01:10:53Woo!
01:10:53Woo!
01:10:54Woo!
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