- 4/23/2025
SAYING I LOVE YOU TOO SOON
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Therapy Thursday is popping for you right here. We get your questions and try and find you some answers.
00:06All right. The deal is 888-429-0941.
00:10You call us, we give you our best answer, and we send you away satisfied.
00:15We try.
00:16We got Rich, your emotional support animal in here.
00:19Here.
00:19We have Meredith, MD, checking in.
00:22Ooh, I like the MD.
00:23Orlando BGYN can answer for you as well.
00:26We have Bridget on the phone.
00:28Brittany, Brittany is on the phone.
00:30Hey, Brittany, how you doing?
00:32I'm doing okay. How are you?
00:33Pretty good. You had a question for us. Come on in.
00:36Yeah, so I've been with my fiancé for five years, and we have a four-year-old together.
00:43He just recently made me sell my car and quit my job,
00:46and now he wants to bring up that he wants to be in a poly relationship out of nowhere.
00:52And I am not down for that.
00:56I don't know what to do at this point.
00:57Like, I just need, like, advice on how to, like, talk to him about this, I guess.
01:02I don't know.
01:03Okay, well, first of all, you said he made you sell your car and made you leave.
01:09Yeah, but I'm almost not, like, financially abused at this point.
01:13It sounds like he's trying to make you back into a corner.
01:18Not that you are in one, because we don't know, obviously, but that's what a lot of abusive people will do.
01:24They'll make you feel alone, like you can't, and you're trapped, and you don't know what to do.
01:30But, I mean, are you in financial?
01:32Like, is there any financial issues that are going on?
01:35Yeah, yeah, definitely.
01:36He's definitely making me give him, like, all of my, any money that comes in.
01:40And, like, he keeps my cards.
01:42And now he wants an open relationship.
01:45Okay.
01:46It doesn't sound like, first of all, you can afford an additional relationship.
01:51So, my kids, like, literally, their dad passed away, so I get money from their dad, from, like, Social Security.
01:58So, they, he literally keeps that card, and then he's making me do, like, all kinds of stuff.
02:03Just, I don't know.
02:04It's just, like, he's financially abusing me.
02:07He won't, I had, like, job interviews, a bunch of them lined up.
02:10Like, great jobs.
02:12He's not letting me, like, even go to them, because he wants to control you.
02:17Yeah.
02:17Yeah.
02:18You, you, what your gut is telling you is right, first of all.
02:21Like, that, that's the first inkling.
02:22You want to make sure you listen to yourself.
02:24We're probably telling you stuff that you're already feeling, that it's already off-center.
02:29And with him trying to kind of harness everything and control everything and now bring in somebody else,
02:36you're not even in the situation to be having a thriving relationship with a throuple, with, like, you know, another person involved.
02:42That's what I told him.
02:43Yeah.
02:43That's exactly what I told him, and I said I wanted to, like, wait, and maybe I'll try it, like, whenever we're good.
02:48But he doesn't want to wait.
02:50He wants to do it now.
02:51And I was, like, I'm, like, insecure now.
02:54I want to get my body done now.
02:55And I'm just, like, oh, I want to.
02:56It kind of sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it, too, Brittany.
02:59I'm just going to be honest with you.
03:01I think.
03:02You need to run.
03:02There's a bunch of charities in town that can not only hide you if it becomes detrimental to you.
03:08And they can hide you for a little bit amount of time, and they will give you some money in the meantime
03:13and help place you in an apartment and help you find a job if that's what you, if that's maybe an area you need to consider and think about.
03:20If you feel like you can't get out of this because you don't have any money, you don't have a car, and you feel alone,
03:25maybe this should be an option you should consider.
03:28Are you thinking that you want to end this relationship?
03:32Because it does sound like.
03:33Yeah.
03:33I've been wanting to.
03:34I've been just trying to save up so I can run.
03:38Yes.
03:39I really want to.
03:40I want you to understand that you're thinking right, that the relationship doesn't feel like it's a safe space for you.
03:47You should be packing away anything that you can and stop giving it over to him because that power is going to limit your options.
03:55So you want to make sure, get you a separate bank account, a separate debit card, or something like that,
04:01and just pack this stuff away, and let's get you the opportunity to get out and have a healthy relationship, okay?
04:07Because that's not normal, and what he's looking for, he's looking to be kept, and you want a partner.
04:13So if you're not on the same page, then you need to get out of that, okay?
04:15And go to your interviews.
04:17Yeah, make sure you go to those interviews, yeah.
04:19If I had my car, I would, but he took away the Camaro.
04:23Like, we have a car together, too.
04:25We have a Camaro, and he took that away from me, like, and took my name off the lease, and the, I mean, the title, and off the insurance.
04:32So she has no power here.
04:34Yeah, he's definitely trapping you into a situation.
04:37So I want to make sure that you're covered.
04:39So let's start, you know, working on your exit.
04:41Any family members that you have that you can, you know, lean on, start leaning on them because they'll be there for you.
04:47Yeah, I don't really have anybody.
04:50I'll call around.
04:52Okay, so here's just an example.
04:54The Spring of Tampa Bay can help you out.
04:56There are a bunch of charities in town that hone in exactly on what you're talking about, and you can lean on them.
05:02There's therapists, and like I said, there's situations where they can actually hide you and get you out of the situation safely.
05:07The Spring, CASA, Hands Across the Bay, those are all organizations that help women in these situations.
05:13So they don't have to actually, like, hit me, like, if, like, to go.
05:17It could be abusive in many different fashions.
05:19That's mental abuse, too, girl, cerebral abuse.
05:22I know he's abusive to me, but he doesn't, like, actually hit me.
05:25No, it's still abusive.
05:26It's abuse.
05:26I mean, and you're feeling it just like it's a punch.
05:29But, yeah, you definitely have options out there at least to talk to some of the people.
05:33So, Will, if you want to hold on for a second, we can get you some of the contact information for that, too, okay?
05:38Yeah, thank you.
05:40No problem.
05:40Thank you so much.
05:41All right.
05:41That's so tough.
05:42Wow.
05:43There's a lot of texts that are coming in saying she needs to leave now.
05:45She needs to leave now.
05:46Save yourself.
05:47Yeah.
05:47For sure.
05:48Do we keep on going?
05:50Well, you know what?
05:51Let's get her some information off here, and we'll come back with the other side, part two.
05:54Big shout-out to everybody who has been reaching out on text.
05:57There's a lot of ladies.
05:58Brittany, if you're still listening, there are a bunch of ladies who are saying,
06:02I know it hasn't gotten physical yet.
06:03It starts verbal, but it will.
06:05It's coming.
06:06Another person says, I will give her a ride to a couple of interviews to help her out.
06:10That's out of the 614.
06:11I lived with a narcissistic man before I figured out what he had planned for me.
06:17So everything that you're feeling, I mean, anybody who's out there who's in that situation,
06:21realize that your gut is the best telltale ever.
06:24When you ask us a question like that, and you already have that inkling in you,
06:28that is telling you that your fight or flight is inside you, telling you that you need to get out of there.
06:34So I'm glad everybody has been sharing that information.
06:38We gave information as well.
06:39If you are out there and you're looking for support, the Spring, Casa, Hands Across the Bay,
06:45all are well-documented online that can be some sort of support for you in that kind of situation.
06:51And if you need that information, just text in.
06:53We'll text you that information back.
06:55Out of the 813, we have a question that says,
07:00my brother-in-law and I are super close.
07:03He's been an extra mouth to feed since my husband and I got married,
07:07but he's super helpful with his nephews, and he is now one of the dependents in the family.
07:13Is it strange to mistake a really good connection for romantic feelings?
07:19It's so weird because it's not our relationship at all, but I have noticed that it feels that way.
07:25Help me with your thoughts.
07:27You can love somebody that's not blood-related, a family member.
07:31I mean, he's very close to you.
07:32He's helping you with your children.
07:34He lives in your house.
07:35You're feeding him.
07:37So, I mean, it's kind of like a thin line there.
07:40There is a difference, though.
07:41You do not ever, there's boundaries.
07:43You do not want to step over, but you can love, you know, your brother-in-law, and that's okay.
07:48You can love him, but when you use the word romantic, though.
07:51You need to check yourself.
07:52It kind of sounds like she's falling in love with him.
07:55Or what she asked, the question said mistake, to mistake a really good connection for romantic feelings.
08:02So, to answer that, yes, you can, but you got to keep it clear.
08:05Yeah.
08:05You got to make sure that, you know, you do stay focused on the fact that the family unit is the win,
08:10and he's joining in because of his brother.
08:13You mess around and lose your brother, you lose him.
08:15You lose them both.
08:16You lose everything as far as your family setup.
08:19So, in reality, the realistic way to look at it is you have some close feelings with this person
08:25because you said you're super close.
08:27Yes.
08:27And it is a way that you can mistake that, but just realize that that ain't real.
08:32And put away your PJs with the booty shorts and all that stuff.
08:35You know, kind of keep it very, like, I'm your sister-in-law.
08:38Platonic.
08:39Yeah, exactly.
08:40Don't be out there cheekums.
08:41Right, exactly.
08:42Don't be cheekums.
08:43Make it clear, like, we're just family and that is it.
08:45You guys can have a good relationship and just be friends.
08:47For sure.
08:48You don't have to be loving.
08:48For sure.
08:49All right?
08:49Out of the 941, I'm in the middle of a divorce.
08:51We've been married for five years, together ten years.
08:54We have four kids.
08:55Wow.
08:55During our breakup, I've got another woman pregnant, and now I have a four-month-old with the new girlfriend.
09:02My kids are having a hard time accepting my new life and adapting to the changes, of course.
09:08My oldest daughter has shown resentment towards my new girlfriend and the new baby.
09:13How do I get my kids on the same page?
09:15Ooh, that's hard.
09:16Blended family.
09:17It's just the beginning.
09:18I mean, honestly, it's not really time to get everybody on the same page.
09:22You have to get your page together first.
09:25You got messy.
09:26Like, you have extra babies and extra drama, so why don't you piece together everything first?
09:31Because once they see you play it like it's a foundation that's solid, then they can trust it.
09:37You can't expect your kids to trust something that you haven't built.
09:41Anybody going to climb up on the second floor of a house that lay out of the shady first floor, you know what I'm saying?
09:45Like, I mean, you went out and stepped out, and you did some stuff, and now everything is all...
09:50You can't expect a kid to have the mentality to be able to say, hey, I can now understand what the relationship dynamics are.
09:58Like, you can't.
09:59You don't understand it, and you're a grown-up.
10:01So let your kids see you treat it like it's real, and then they can feel comfortable to stick their foot in.
10:08But don't expect them to just double-dutch their way in immediately.
10:11If the kids have resentment, that means the mother has resentment.
10:13And she's talking, and the kids are getting that, and that's why they feel that way.
10:18Wait a minute. That's not always the case.
10:19Well, it's not always, but the reason why the kids feel that way is because mommy's probably hurt, and they are feeling...
10:26How about the kids are hurt?
10:27The kids could be hurt.
10:27He abandoned the family and decided to sleep with somebody else.
10:30I think that he needs to go have a conversation with the mother, and have the mother have a conversation with the kids,
10:38letting them know that, you know, it didn't work out, and they are working on it, but they would like to be a family.
10:43We got a question out of the 813 that says, what's the information on the free dental cleaning?
10:49We have that for you, too.
10:50Therapy can include free dentistry.
10:53September 9th, it is going on.
10:55And I know that it's in multiple locations, but Dental Care at Quail Hollow, which is my dentist, Dr. George, and Dr. Pocola,
11:05they are doing it at 28385 State Road 54, Wesley Chapel.
11:12It's right there on 54, right next to, like, the new Wawa and the new Duncan.
11:18It's right there in Quail Hollow in Wesley Chapel.
11:22So you can head out there Saturday the 9th.
11:24They're doing it 830 to 1, and it's all patients will receive a free cleaning or a filling or an extraction, okay?
11:32And they're doing first come, first serve.
11:35Yeah, so get there early, by the way.
11:36Last year, they did, with the collective of the locations, 4,036 patients treated last year in 211 different locations,
11:46basically $1.5 million in dentistry.
11:48So free dentistry day is September 9th, which is next Saturday, 830 to 1, and that's at the Dental Care at Quail Hollow.
11:57Okay, here's another Therapy Thursday.
11:59Out of the 727, seeing a new guy, and he just said he loved me, and it hasn't even been two months yet.
12:06Is this a red flag because I'm feeling like he's moving way too fast?
12:10I'm just not there yet.
12:11But it's not a definite red flag.
12:15It might be he's a little bit closer to it than you are.
12:19He was a little bit more ready.
12:20Yeah.
12:20You might not be.
12:21I wouldn't judge a person for saying it.
12:24I would hope he wouldn't judge you for not saying it back.
12:27That's the bigger part.
12:28And if you want to have a real conversation with him, say, hey, I know you said something.
12:33I don't want to fault you for it because you're being honest with yourself.
12:36Just don't really be mad at me because I'm not there yet because I'm in a different space than you.
12:41But I loved hearing it.
12:43Right.
12:43That's a better way of saying not saying it back or not addressing it back.
12:47You know, I loved hearing it.
12:48But I, you know, I'd have some questions.
12:51I'd have some questions and ask if does he fall in love easily?
12:54And then I'd ask how many women have you said I love you to before?
12:59Because if it's like and this ain't no book report, man, I mean, you know, that's a little bit of a red flag.
13:05He falls in love easily.
13:06Well, it could be too early for you, but not for him.
13:09Maybe he really does love you.
13:10Maybe something that you have done and how you've been acting.
13:14It says something about you.
13:16And if he loves you, I would just accept it.
13:19If you're not ready to say it to him, you don't have to say it.
13:21But again, just talk to him.
13:23It's not always has to be a bounce back with an I love you back.
13:26And sometimes it's like, man, thank you for saying it.
13:28Yeah.
13:28I really appreciate it.
13:30Thank you for saying it.
13:33That is so lovely to hear.
13:34It is not a good response.
13:36It is.
13:36I mean, it's not the best response.
13:38The natural response is I love you.
13:40I love you too.
13:41But what else is acceptable?
13:43I love you.
13:44I appreciate you.
13:45That is so beautiful coming from your lips.
13:47Some people just say I love you to let the other person know what their intentions are.
13:54My door is open.
13:55When you love me back, let me know.
13:57I'll be right here for some loving.
13:58I love what you do with your mouth.
14:00I love how you make me feel.
14:04That's a great way to say it back.
14:06Yeah.
14:06I love that you love me.
14:09Marcelino says, stop giving him that good good and that slob 5,000 and she'll say it back.
14:14There you go.
14:15Yeah.
14:15Maybe it happened during sex.
14:16Who knows?
14:17All right.
14:17We have a break here.
14:19Let's see.
14:19We'll do one more real quick.
14:20It says, I'm four weeks pregnant with my first child.
14:23Do you even know after four weeks?
14:25Congrats.
14:26Yes, of course.
14:27Okay.
14:27You can.
14:28I'm four weeks pregnant with my first child.
14:30I know who the baby daddy is, but I don't know in all caps who the baby daddy is.
14:35I was with one person during this same time.
14:38It was a mistake that just happened.
14:41I don't feel like it's even a possibility, but in my head, it is blowing up my relationship.
14:47Worth it for a small, what if?
14:50Yes.
14:51Okay.
14:52Wait, wait, wait.
14:53You need to know.
14:55The child should know who the father is.
14:57I mean, if there's some way you can keep it quiet where you can test the one guy or something like that.
15:02I don't know how you do that.
15:04I mean, you're going to blow up your whole relationship.
15:06Do you have to wait for the baby to come out?
15:07They can test beforehand when the baby's in the belly, but speaking of invasive, I mean, it's not necessarily a healthy thing to do.
15:14Right.
15:14So realistically, realistically, play your position.
15:19Treat it like everything's normal.
15:21You made a mistake.
15:22But I'm saying, treat it like it's normal.
15:25Only fight your fight when the fight happens.
15:27Don't fight it early.
15:28But what if the baby comes looking out like totally different?
15:32Baby come out, he's Latin, he's Asian, baby come out Puerto Rican.
15:36You know what I'm saying?
15:37That's when you got to fight that fight that day.
15:39Problems.
15:40Don't do it now.
15:41You have no idea.
15:44If it happened.
15:46That's stressful.
15:47So what you said is you don't want to blow up your relationship on a small what if.
15:51Well, you know, it's going to blow up.
15:54Yeah.
15:54Regardless, if you mention it now.
15:56So why don't you wait?
15:57Wait.
15:57Because what if it didn't?
15:59What if that one time didn't outweigh the rest of the time?
16:02Yeah.
16:03And now you blow up your relationship for nothing.
16:05Realize you messed up.
16:06Right.
16:06Don't ever do it again.
16:07Don't do it again.
16:08And then wait for this baby to come out and, you know.
16:10Pray.
16:11Pray.
16:11Can we test the dude?
16:12Do you ever tell him?
16:13Huh?
16:13Do you ever tell him?
16:14Not.
16:15Not if that baby come out and it's his.
16:17Like this one you need to take to the grave.
16:19Don't snitch on yourself.
16:21Oh, my God.
16:21Don't do it.
16:22Don't do it.
16:23Somebody text to get his toothbrush for a DNA.
16:25This sounds like an episode of Mari.
16:27Don't do it to yourself.
16:29You know what the deal is.
16:30Just, just, I'm just saying.
16:33Keep it on the low.
16:34Oh, yeah.
16:34I want to see if she can get tested.
16:36Keep it on the low and keep your legs closed.
16:37Oh, damn.
16:38All right.
16:38We're going to do that.
16:39All right.
16:39That's what it is.
16:41All right.
16:41888-429-0941.
16:43It's a wrap right now.
16:44We're going to do it.
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