Chicken Wings & Pizza

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck The Freak discuss bathroom eating and Lisa The Pizza Fiend.

Transcript

00:00good morning it is 6 15 thursday the 4th of may may the 4th be with you oh yes and also uh chuck

00:19the freak's birthday yeah it's off to a blazing freaking happy birthday happy birthday man

00:25thank you vending machines broken and chuck can't get his mountain dew so it's going to be a hell

00:29of a day we'll get you a mountain dew just gonna put that out there yeah lisa and i never deal we

00:35don't not very often very rare once in all the years they've been here i've gone to that vending

00:39machine i just i bring my own stuff in hey you got your apples and bananas yeah he's got his own

00:44my mind makes his little lunch in the morning my diet is like nine parts vending yeah exactly

00:51speaking of apples and bananas somebody's got some strawberries in that fridge it's been there for a

00:56couple days no i threw the old one down those are new okay those are replacement he refreshes his

01:00strawberries sorry it was on fridge duty yeah i thought i saw a strawberry in the bathroom

01:05trash there was there was was that yours no it wasn't mine it was a strawberry can i tell you

01:10strawberry was that i thought it was blood at first i thought it was blood too no it's a strawberry

01:14yeah i knew it was oh my god it was that's crazy though that all of us noticed it because it was

01:20like it was so red in there yeah someone was eating a strawberry and just threw it in the garbage can in

01:25the bathroom who goes into the bathroom eating a strawberry i don't know the bathroom's no place

01:29for strawberries listen you know a lot of people use that bathroom you would have no idea it was

01:34just one strawberry too yeah that's odd the bathroom's no place for food i know there's people that eat

01:39but i'm not a bathroom eater there's one time i've eaten on the toilet and it was because i had to poop

01:43really bad on my break when i worked at the grocery store and i was starving so i went and i bought

01:49some chicken wings oh well that's intense chicken wings yeah wow that is incredible that may be the

01:56worst toilet food i can't think of anything wings and ribs yeah i didn't plan it out i noticed i went

02:02and i got like i was hungry i only got 15 minutes so i went and i got my chicken wings and then

02:06immediately i was like oh no i took him with me i sat in the public bathroom i ate my chicken wings

02:14and dropped the deuce okay and then what did you then you were done with the chicken wings and you

02:18just threw them away yeah and finished up your business you just take the bones and throw them

02:22between your legs i didn't flush the bones you can't flush the bones put them back in the container

02:27but uh i just hate to admit it but i did eat on the toilet one someone said my co-worker announced to

02:32me that he has to get totally naked to go to the bathroom and it dawned on me yesterday that i saw

02:36him go to the port-a-john with two slices of pizza that's a place you could never eat right that's a

02:43place you could never eat you need a friend to hold your pizza will you hold my pizza before you go in

02:50there yes but hold your pizza you're gonna get a bag with some bites missing yeah that's true well

02:55there's a tax that's what i would always say to my kids yeah well there you go next time you're down

03:00think of james eating chicken wings on the toilet i would love james to just randomly ask strangers

03:05at a port-a-potty to hold his pieces of pizza see what they did it would be funny that's a good

03:10social experiment yeah don't ask me to hold your while i run in there yeah i'll eat it yeah at least

03:17like oh my god someone came by and stole your pizza pizza guy it was the meat lovers too lisa

03:24he wouldn't even see me i'd be gone she unfolds an umbrella and takes to the store

03:30i got it james out of here bitches hi hi james sorry that'd be so sad because i already just had a

03:39deuce at a port-a-john yeah i'm excited to get this pizza then i walk out and lisa's gone with the

03:44pizza like just stab me in the stomach why don't you yeah exactly prison style right in the stomach

03:51yeah okay maybe i won't yeah walking beside james with pizza she'd just be staring you down the whole

03:55way yeah like she'd be like how's the pizza how do you like it uh you can't don't go anywhere near

04:00lisa with pizza unless you know she would have asked i would have just shared yeah of course yeah

04:05pretend to hold it and leave but she doesn't want to ask sometimes so she'll just stare no she stares

04:09it's never i don't know if she's ever asked no so just stare it's just a look and you know you're

04:14like mind meld you into giving her some yeah my cousin gave me a bite of his pizza in italy and i

04:20ate the whole thing and he still talks about it he's like you ate all of my pizza and then you

04:25couldn't get any more of it it was it that's it sorry i'm sorry man something came over me

04:30oh my god i'd be so mad you're like a fat girl eating my cookie you're lucky you're a tourist yeah

04:40if you were really from italy they would have locked you up yeah exactly you should have saw

04:44his face he looked like he was about to cry i might cry oh my god my italy pizza no he had other

04:51types that he was eating but that was okay hold on hold on so you said hey cuz can i have a bite

04:59yeah we were yeah of that pizza so i can try it he's like yeah yeah he wanted me to try it i want

05:04you to try to insist take one bite one try it he didn't say one bite like hum hum it was gone

05:14something took over me it was so rude and awful but i just ate the whole thing right in front of

05:18them right in front of them i'm telling you i've been there that's cold and then i went to try and get

05:23him more of that kind of pizza and they were like no they didn't have no more i'm like what i'm like

05:30looking in the back one guess you have more they just lied to you no but they didn't they were out

05:34that's it oh they make what they make it for the day and then they're done this is lisa

05:39it's all gone don't offer a bite of anything now i need to nearly say or else it will be oh we've

05:58learned something oh you said you said you wanted a bite oh you ate it all

06:18where'd you even get that one oh sorry about that

06:28you

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