Snuffy Goes To College (Snuffy Smith)

Aecionevesuk

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00:00Oh, oh, oh, bright balls of fire, I'm audacious.

00:18Oh, oh, oh, bright balls of fire, I'm a fright.

00:22Oh, oh, oh, bright balls of fire, goodness gracious.

00:27I'm chop, chop, chop, chop, choppin' with all of my might.

00:31Yay!

00:36Registered letter for you, Snuffy.

00:39Can't be for me. Nobody I knows can write.

00:43Ah, let's have a look at that letter.

00:45Oh, betcha it's from them, their income taxers.

00:49Everybody get your rifle. I ain't goin' to work and I ain't goin' no jail neither.

00:54You ain't goin' to jail, Snuffy. You're goin' to school.

00:58I'd rather go to jail.

01:00June 11th, 1929.

01:02Snuffy Smith is hereby granted admission to Backward University.

01:07Full scholarship grants to all those sons of the heroes of the Battle of Gulch Falls.

01:12Backward U welcomes you.

01:151929. Why, that's 33 years ago.

01:19My stars. Oh, the mail's a-gettin' quicker.

01:23It says here, report September 11th. That's 33 years ago tomorrow.

01:27Come on, Snuffy, we're late. Let's go.

01:30I ain't goin'.

01:32No, sirree.

01:40All right, students. Open your anatomy texts to the chest section.

01:46Mr. Smith, you start reading.

01:49How do you expect me to read with this here book in my chest section?

01:53Uh, Mr. Professor, he can't read today. He's, uh, uh, he's got a frog in his throat.

01:59Well, then, Mr. Smith, come here and complete this problem.

02:04One plus one equals...

02:07Let me see. Uh, one and another one. Uh, that would be, uh, I mean, uh...

02:13Frog in his throat, my foot. You can't read and you can't write.

02:18You go back to kindergarten.

02:20He can't do that.

02:22Why not?

02:24He flunk blocks.

02:26Now get out of here and don't come back until you can read.

02:41By Jove, what a blow to my cranium.

02:44Why, Snuff, you sound awful uppery.

02:59You're quite wrong. It's 9,630,042 and a half.

03:04Huh? Who said that?

03:06I did.

03:07You? I told you not to come back to class until you could add one and one.

03:11Uh, one plus one equals two, and furthermore, E equals MC squared.

03:15E equals MC squared? I quite agree.

03:19Why, my man, you are a genius.

03:22It's really nothing, and nothing equals the cosine of 46 divided by the hypotenuse of 7.

03:28I dare say.

03:31And so much for Shakespeare.

03:35Now, dear students, I will open this lecture to a question and answer period.

03:40Ah, Mr. Smith, can you tell us Napoleon's last words when he lost the Battle of Waterloo?

03:45Yes, chaps. His last words were...

03:55Sir, I'm Bean Dusk from the State Department. I've been sent by Washington to ask you a question.

04:00Who will be the first man on the moon?

04:03I will.

04:05You will? How long will it take you to get there?

04:08Fifteen minutes, if the lights are with me.

04:13Snuffy Smith, Snuffy Smith, give him a hug and a kiss, kiss, kiss.

04:16And when we do, he will turn blue. True, true blue for backward you. Yay!

04:26Forward, backward, backward, forward, any way we'll do.

04:34Take an ax and beat the brains out, 40-year-old backward you.

04:50Louisy, how come you let me go fishing without my pole?

04:54He's his own sweet smelling self again.

04:58Yes, instant stupid.

05:04Telegram for you, Snuffy.

05:09Get off my property.

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