Fake Smiles - Nouman Ali Khan - video Dailymotion

Islamic education

8/23/2024

Fake Smiles - Nouman Ali Khan

Transcript

00:00Allah says,

00:06أَبْحَسِبَ الَّذِينَ فِي قُلُوبِهِمْ مَرَضٌ أَلَّنْ يُخْرِجَ اللَّهُ أَضْغَانَهُمْ

00:11Or is it the case that the people who have some disease in their heart,

00:14have they assumed that Allah will not bring out their hatred and their spite and their resentment.

00:20The word أَضْغَانَ comes from ضغن or ضغن in Arabic,

00:23which linguists would argue means الحقد والبغضاء والعداوة

00:27Resentment, ill feeling, spite towards somebody.

00:31And Allah is saying in this ayah that people that have these kinds of sentiments,

00:35they tend to hide them.

00:36Like somebody meets you with a smile and they say salam to you,

00:40and they give you a hug and they ask how you're doing,

00:42but yet they're harboring inside them these ill feelings towards you.

00:45They have this grudge against you,

00:47they're holding something you said for a long time and they don't tell you that.

00:50And you'll never get an idea,

00:52you won't have a clue that they're holding this against you.

00:55And as a matter of fact, it comes out in other people's gatherings,

00:58and when they're among their other friends or whatever,

01:00they'll talk about you and they'll say things about you.

01:02But when they meet you, it's all good.

01:04They're just gonna pretend everything is just fine.

01:06And Allah calls them out on this.

01:07And first of all, He describes this as a disease of their hearts.

01:10It's a spiritual disease.

01:12You would think the disease of the heart is when somebody doesn't remember Allah,

01:15or when someone is heedless or they become greedy or they become materialistic

01:19and they're not spiritual enough.

01:20And yet in this ayah, actually part of the meaning of people who have a disease in their heart

01:24is actually people who have resentment towards others in their heart.

01:27People who are harboring ill feeling towards others in their heart.

01:30SubhanAllah.

01:31That's a spiritual disease.

01:32And then, not only is that a disease,

01:35do they really think they're gonna be able to hide it?

01:37أَلَّن يُخْرِجَ اللَّهُ أَضْغَانَهُمْ

01:39Allah will bring out all forms of their resentments in one way or the other.

01:42Doesn't matter how much they try to hide it,

01:44and how much they try to conceal it because of some agenda

01:47or some advantage they wanna take,

01:49or they don't think it's gonna be best for them to let people know how they truly feel.

01:52And yet Allah will actually bring it out.

01:54You don't have to bring it out and somebody else doesn't have to expose it.

01:57It will be Allah Himself who will present the opportunity.

02:00He'll create the circumstance where their grudge and their resentment and their spite

02:04is gonna make its way to the surface.

02:06You're gonna see it for what it is.

02:07SubhanAllah.

02:08Allah will create those situations.

02:09This is not just about some people.

02:11Like as you're watching this, you're like,

02:12I can think of someone who's holding these grudges and Allah will bring it out one day.

02:15Well, Allah hasn't brought it out which means you shouldn't be making assumptions.

02:18You know.

02:19But this is about you and me ourselves.

02:21Something I learned in life that actually was inspired by this ayah.

02:26A policy.

02:27Sometimes you have friends and they say things and it hurts your feelings

02:30and you don't say anything back.

02:31You just kinda hold it in.

02:32And it doesn't let you go.

02:34A long time goes by and you still hold on to what they said.

02:37And it does put a crack in your relationship with that friend

02:41or with that whoever, that relative.

02:43But you don't bring it up to them.

02:45I have a policy that I'd even like to recommend when it comes to this stuff.

02:49You shouldn't hold back.

02:50You should actually be loving and transparent and honest in the relationships you have in life.

02:56If somebody did say something that hurt your feelings

02:58and you've been harboring it for a long time,

03:00don't let it turn into a disease inside your heart.

03:02Just let them know.

03:03Look, you said this, it really hurt my feelings.

03:05I've been holding it but I don't know if I should hold it anymore.

03:08I really wanted to let you know.

03:09And I actually did that more recently.

03:11I did that with some friends and some associates

03:13that they did say something or do something that hurt my feelings personally.

03:17And I held it for years.

03:19And then they eventually came back and said,

03:21you know, you don't call me as often as you used to.

03:24And before I would have said something like,

03:26oh, you know, I'm busy, this, that.

03:28But actually I decided, you know what, yeah, you're right, I don't call you

03:30because of this one thing that really hurt me.

03:33And I just felt like I shouldn't call you as much.

03:35You want to talk about it?

03:36Yeah, let's talk about it.

03:37And we'd have a 30-40 minute chat.

03:39And things would get resolved.

03:42And actually our relationship would become better than it ever had been before.

03:46Just because you came clean.

03:48Just because you didn't let it inside.

03:50That's not patience.

03:51That's not you being righteous.

03:52It's just you allowing for some sickness in your heart to get bigger and bigger and bigger.

03:56We're not angels.

03:57We don't forget this stuff.

03:58We have to resolve it.

03:59It's okay.

04:00It's okay when people resolve things with each other.

04:02And we have to find healthy ways of doing that.

04:04May Allah make us courageous enough to have openness in our relationships,

04:07in our communication, without being offensive.

04:10And may Allah keep us from those who harbor these kinds of ill feelings

04:13until Allah Himself brings them out.

Fake Smiles - Nouman Ali Khan

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