Bad Dog Bad Dog E011 Ye Old Bad Dog

Skyline Snippets

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00:00Nights, Family Restaurant and Entertainment Center, where you'll lose yourselves in a magical world of sorcerers and knights and castles.

00:08Unless you're the owner of a white pickup truck that's illegally parked in the restricted Merlin section of the parking lot.

00:15If you're that person, forget the whole magical world thing and prepare to have your vehicle towed.

00:21Come on guys, we don't want to be late for the big show.

01:01Wow Barky, looky, it's Sir Flinchelord, the white knighty.

01:07Wow!

01:09Find my apron. Touch my walker with your lap.

01:14You were great on that toilet cleanser commercial.

01:17Thank you for torturing me with that painful memory.

01:21Is there anyone young who would like an autograph?

01:25Excuse me, my nice grandmas. I need the white knight to sign my doggie.

01:30Thank you for that very, very odd request, strange little knight. Maybe another time.

01:37Hail, merry dinner guests. Please take your seats for our knightly dinner show.

01:43You insult their honor. For that, you pay.

01:48Hear ye, hear ye. Let us now venture back to a time of romance.

01:53A time before modern technology.

01:56A time before silverware and health codes.

01:59Huh?

02:00Uh?

02:01Uh?

02:02Uh?

02:03Uh?

02:04Uh?

02:05Uh?

02:06Uh?

02:07Uh?

02:08Uh?

02:09Uh?

02:10Uh?

02:11Uh?

02:12Uh?

02:13Uh?

02:14Uh?

02:15Uh?

02:16Uh?

02:17Uh?

02:18Uh?

02:19Uh?

02:20Uh?

02:21Uh?

02:22A time before manners.

02:26A time of knighthood and chivalry.

02:31A time before pouring skills.

02:33Please, direct your attention to the arena.

02:36Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!

02:39Sir Flinchlock, the White Knight of Nottingham, is ready to defend his honor against any challenger.

02:50Ready. Does anyone dare challenge the superior forces of goodness?

02:56Come on, you guys. Get into the action a little.

03:00Go on, Sparky. Defend your honor.

03:04I do the same thing every night.

03:06I waved all the old red morons with meat hanging out of their mouths.

03:10The stupid Black Knight enters the ring, and by the time I slay him,

03:14the entire audience has either gone home or is writhing in their seats,

03:18wrapped by severe intestinal distress.

03:22Stop! Right there!

03:27Get him, Blavesteed!

03:29What do you think you're doing? Look where you are!

03:32Look around!

03:39All right, Sparky.

03:41I'll show you what I'm made of.

03:43I'll show you what I'm made of.

03:45I'll show you what I'm made of.

03:47I'll show you what I'm made of.

03:50All right, then. If it's a fight you want, the joust is on!

03:55Prepare to defend thyself, mead-dog!

03:59I can hardly look.

04:01Sparky, jump!

04:09What is our brave challenger's name?

04:11Sparky!

04:13I hereby dub thee Sir Sparky.

04:16I hereby dub thee Sir Sparky.

04:27Oh, what a brave little dog!

04:30Five dollars in the money, Quack! Five dollars!

04:33No reason to push, nice grannies.

04:36Enough of Sparky for everybody!

04:39Hear ye! Hear ye!

04:41The next round of competition is about to commence.

04:44It's a battle of clubs over a moat filled with man-eating crocodiles.

04:49But alas, where is our beloved, albeit slightly tarnished, white knight?

04:54Could it be that our brave white knight is a chicken?

05:02Fickle fans! Fickle grannies! I'll show you!

05:06My goal is to knock my opponent off yon bridge and into the crocodile-filled waters below.

05:14Let's go!

05:24Let's see you get out of this!

05:33You think you can escape me?

05:37Zounds, I seem to be rusted.

05:40A little lubrication, please?

05:45Oh, no!

05:51Sparky! Sparky!

06:04Need a weapon to smiten the dog.

06:06And now, for our final and newest round of competition,

06:09our knights will attempt to pull the legendary sword Excalibur from its legendary stone

06:14and slay the legendary dragon of Black Castle!

06:17Dragon? What dragon?

06:19I told you, it's new.

06:26May taste brave knights!

06:28Whichever of you can remove the sword from the stone shall be king!

06:34Must smiten doggy! Must have sword!

06:40Dragon!

06:47On me, you compounded metal lizards!

06:50Alas, it looks like the white knight will slay the dragon and retain his throne!

06:55First the dog, then the dragon!

06:59Dragon!

07:08Oh, no!

07:12Well, it looks like a draw!

07:15We'll have to do it all over again tomorrow night!

07:18Danny Spanos here, big-time agent with BTPA, the Very Talented People Agency.

07:24You represent talented people?

07:26Why are you talking to me?

07:28Are you kidding? You're the absolute funniest man I have ever seen perform!

07:32Funny? You thought it was funny when I was chomped by alligators and torched by a dragon?

07:38Kill me! And by the way, you were also hilarious in the toilet cleanser act,

07:43the one where you played the cowardly stain hiding from the animated scrubbing thingies.

07:47Brilliant! Anyway, I'd like to represent you starting, like, now!

07:51Really? You're kidding! Where do I sign?

07:55On the dotted line, but before you do, I'd like to see you do that moat pratfall one more time!

08:00It killed me!

08:02Fine! You wait here! I'll go hurl myself into the moat!

08:06Just for the full effect, I'd rather see you do it with the dog!

08:09Huh?

08:11Let's go, doggie! Let's do the moat pratfall!

08:15First you say sorry to Foxy, then you apologize for offending your honor in front of the nice old granny!

08:22Sorry! Sorry! Sorry all round!

08:26Let's go, Barky, old fellow!

08:29Good doggy!

08:31On second thought, do the whole act!

08:41Hey, Barky!

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