When to express your emotions? || Acharya Prashant, with NIT-Calicut (2022)

Acharya Prashant

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Transcript

00:00We say emotions are something very intimate to me internally, therefore the ones who are

00:10intimate to me externally must partake these emotions.

00:18So we went it out all to them.

00:25We spout lies and toxicity and all kinds of worthless things, especially to the ones who

00:37are close to us.

00:40This is not right, this is exploitation, this is unjust.

00:50In fact the more valuable and intimate a person is to you, the more you should be careful

00:57about the effect your company is having on that person.

01:02That is love, is that not?

01:06Therefore you have to be extremely careful about what you say to that person, what you

01:10share with that person.

01:12Not everything that arises in your body due to your inbuilt prakritic chemicals and hormones

01:21and glands is worth sharing with the world.

01:31We have our restrooms, our lavatories, we keep them closed, right?

01:41We do not share our excreta with our loved ones, we do not say oh this came from my guts,

01:51this came from right within me, from the core of my body, therefore I'll share it with you.

01:59Do we do that?

02:02We know what is it that stinks.

02:07We know what is it that's rubbish.

02:11And we know very well that it must be kept to ourselves and be duly flushed away.

02:22It is not something you want to share with the world.

02:25In fact if you share with the world it is quite interesting.

02:34It would be the limit of bad etiquette.

02:43So this much we know, that our night soil, our rubbish is not to be taken to others.

02:59But then why do we take our mental rubbish to others?

03:06Why do we take our emotional rubbish to others?

03:12Is there anything sublime in our emotions?

03:16If there is, please do share it.

03:22But mostly emotions are just trash.

03:28I know emotional people will not like to hear this and they'll immediately contest.

03:35I would point out that the reaction that arose within you the moment you heard me say that

03:43emotions are trash is another emotional reaction.

03:50It is emotions that do not like emotions being decried.

04:02The fundamental mistake as we said right when we opened is that we identify with our emotions.

04:09We do not see that the body is one thing and we are not really the body and that all emotions

04:19arise from chemical biological processes pre-programmed within the body.

04:25They are not to be taken very seriously.

04:30Emotions simply further the agenda of the jungle, the place we all come from.

04:40What's the agenda of the jungle?

04:42Possess, occupy, eat, sleep, be merry, procreate, dominate.

04:50That's what goes on in the jungle.

04:53And all emotions if you scrutinize them are towards this goal.

05:00This is the prakritic goal.

05:07So why take the remnants of the jungle past so seriously?

05:20We were monkeys, right?

05:24And the vestiges of those times still exist within us.

05:30They in fact dominate most of us in the form of emotions in the form of instincts and tendencies.

05:43So take that as something that hardly ever has any value.

05:54And when it does not have any value, it does not deserve to be expressed or shared with others.

06:03We want to be loving people and we want to be loved, don't we?

06:09And in love you do not share your crap with your loved ones.

06:13You do not make life miserable for them by throwing all your rubbish at them day in and

06:19day night in the name of intimacy.

06:26That's the reason why people suffer so much in love because in the name of love it's not

06:32their heights that they share with their partners.

06:40They share their bottoms.

06:42They share their ugliness and they think of it as closeness, as love.

06:49It is not love.

06:50Love is to handhold the other and pull him up, not bury the other under the weight of

07:02your infinite nonsense.

07:08What do you think lovers talk about in their daily four-hour phone calls?

07:18Are they sharing scientific discoveries with each other?

07:22Are they sharing sublime literature with each other, great poems?

07:29Are they talking of depths of wisdom?

07:35Are they discussing geopolitics?

07:37Are they discussing neuroscience?

07:40Are they discussing anything of any worth?

07:44They are expressing themselves to each other and you know what that's all about.

07:53Let the sound of rubbish being flushed down the commode reverberate.

08:05That's the telephonic conversation.

08:08Namaste Acharyaji.

08:10Namaste.

08:11This question which I am about to ask is related to the first question about the emotions.

08:26So I have two questions in mind.

08:29The first thing is whenever you know some people particularly in a family or in relatives,

08:38they try to you know they have some expectations that you know house has to be taken care like

08:45this only or cooking has to be done in certain way.

08:49All these things actually it's like totally gone out of my mind and I am not able to you

08:56know be like what they want to be and initially when I try to you know understand like you

09:04know these are not that great value I try to you know explain them but they are not

09:11you know in a way to accept all those things and I am just doing whatever I feel like doing

09:17and I am not much engaged into any of those activities but in spite of that you know when

09:25things come up I am one thing what I see from myself is I am just very harsh.

09:31I am not able to control it or I am not able to tolerate all these things anymore.

09:35So I just like you know bluntly shout and there is something you know very fiery I can

09:44say within that I don't want to listen to any of such talks and that moment I don't

09:52know exactly what I speak out but it's I feel very relaxed after that and I am not

10:01able to actually say why I am behaving and whatever I told it does not carry over again

10:07in my head but yeah I can see that you know too many things I am reacting very harshly.

10:15So how do I validate that emotion that is that is one thing I mean sometimes I just

10:26feel like I don't bother about it I don't care whatever however it goes it is okay so

10:31I go to that extent and one other question I have is whenever I try to talk to you ask

10:41any question automatically there is some tears in my eyes I don't know how what is

10:48this this is also some kind of emotion I try not to cry I try not to bring in tears but

10:56that happens.

11:07See all that surrounds us outside the body and all that is available to us from within

11:24the body all that is available to us to be used or all that can use us for its own purposes.

11:47So when I answered our friend who initiated the discussion on emotions I focused on ensuring

12:00that your bodily mandate and your emotions and hormones do not start using you and exploiting

12:10you and taking you away.

12:15So I said remember that you are not your body remember that you are not obliged to serve

12:20your emotions remember that it is not a compulsion to express to others whatever you feel.

12:32So that's what I highlighted when I was speaking a while back.

12:41Now there is another part to the same thing we said all that is surrounding us within

12:48the body and outside the body who are we first of all we are consciousness and all these

12:55things are available to the consciousness emotions thoughts intellect as well as worldly

13:01material resources and time and life these are things available to consciousness to achieve

13:10its destiny its end that is liberation.

13:16Now if you can be someone who can use these resources towards the proper end then it's

13:29all right rather wonderful to engage with emotions then there is no need to even be

13:36detached are you getting it I'll give you two examples both involving Shri Krishna.

13:47So there is the Mahabharata battle and we are in Kurukshetra and the entire Gita has

13:57been narrated to Arjuna still he is not fully beyond his feelings of attachment and the

14:15past he carries his memories so he's not able to fight Bhishma Pitamah with total rigor

14:27he is almost just pretending to fight he is not attacking the old man with full ferocity

14:42now what does Krishna do at this moment he jumps down from the chariot picks up an abandoned

14:55wheel from the ground and rushes towards Bhishma with that wheel to attack him this

15:08is a clear and unapologetic display of emotion but this is great you would have seen this

15:21moment captured in many paintings Bhishma standing on his chariot he has put down his

15:33weapons and he's standing with hands folded and he's welcoming Krishna to come and attack

15:40him and Arjuna is behind Krishna and Arjuna is begging Krishna please please do not break

15:48your woe you had said you would not participate in the fight do not do that now I'll do the

16:00needful I won't be a hesitant warrior anymore and Arjuna is holding Krishna by his feet and

16:17is almost being dragged towards Bhishma it's a very moving scene it's a very eloquent picture

16:27when you look at it and it's full of nothing but emotion emotion being displayed by all three

16:35characters in the painting can you visualize the frame of these three the central one the

16:47middle one is the one who is using emotions emotions come from prakriti prakriti is also

16:59called as Maya and Krishna is called as Mayapati so Krishna is the master of Maya thereby also the

17:07master of emotions he's not carried away by emotions he uses emotions for a higher goal

17:14what is the higher goal the higher goal is that Dharma should win and for Dharma should to win

17:21Arjuna must wholeheartedly fight so to make Arjuna fight Krishna has expressed his emotions now such

17:33expression is auspicious and most welcome do you get this please here your emotions are not

17:44possessing you instead you are making very wise use of emotions your emotions are doing your

17:52bidding your emotions are aligned with your higher purpose and if your emotions can be aligned with

18:00your higher purpose it's all right to be angry just as Krishna was in that moment and Krishna

18:07is very angry in that moment have you seen him he's furious he's like a tornado rushing towards

18:20Bhishma Krishna is very angry who says spiritual people must not be angry look at Krishna

18:37oh

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