Bea Alonzo On Cheating In Relationships: ‘It’s easy to forgive but it’s really hard to forget’

Cosmopolitan Philippines

In this episode of #CosmoChallenge, listen to #BeaAlonzo share life and love advice about common problems: From cheating in relationships, to friendships and moving on, to finding The One, and more!

Transcript

00:00 You have to be whole, you have to be happy on your own first

00:03 before you could meet a person you can share that happiness with.

00:06 Hello everyone, I'm Dea Alonso and I'm here to take on the Cosmo Challenge

00:11 by giving you advice to your most common questions.

00:14 Let's start!

00:14 So question number one is,

00:21 Sabi niya, I'm 13, I have no savings, I'm helping my family,

00:25 pero at the same time, I still want to enjoy life.

00:29 I treat myself at ang sarap kumain sa labas at magshopping, toto naman.

00:34 Pero I think kailangan ko nang mag-save for the future.

00:37 Do you have any financial advice?

00:39 Paano ba magstart mag-ipon?

00:41 I think the bottom line here is just to never live beyond your means.

00:48 Parang for me, it's okay to reward yourself from time to time.

00:52 It's good to have a balanced life.

00:54 Sabi nga nila, you work hard and you play hard, di ba?

00:57 But for me, there are also other ways to enjoy life without spending too much.

01:02 Like probably spending time with your friends or you know, watching a movie.

01:07 I know it's kind of expensive these days, but like you can also plan ahead.

01:12 You have to cover the necessities and the basics first

01:14 before you can spend on the more enjoyable things.

01:18 My boyfriend and I broke up after being together for seven years.

01:22 It's hard to trust again and to get yourself out there

01:25 after being in a long-term relationship.

01:27 How do I go back to the dating scene?

01:30 Alam mo, I watched an interview of Kendall Jenner and I liked what she said.

01:35 Sabi niya, never chase, just attract.

01:38 You know, sometimes kasi hindi binibigay sa atin ni Lorde yung partner.

01:44 It's because you're not ready.

01:45 You have to be whole.

01:46 You have to be happy on your own first before you could meet a person

01:51 you can share that happiness with.

01:52 So never chase.

01:54 Next question.

01:55 I like this guy, but he dated my friend two years ago

01:59 and they didn't end up on good terms.

02:02 He cheated.

02:02 Okay, now he tells me he's already a changed man.

02:07 Is the relationship worth pursuing?

02:10 How do I bring this up to my friend?

02:13 Complicated.

02:15 I don't know kasi parang maraming elements, maraming factors.

02:20 Did he cheat on you with your friend or nag-overlap ba kayo?

02:26 For me kasi, I believe in second chances.

02:29 But I know that it'll be hard because, well, I've been there.

02:34 And for me, it's easy to forgive, but it's really hard to forget.

02:39 And mahirap to rebuild the relationship that you had

02:41 because it'll never go back to the way it was before.

02:44 After the cheating, after all those, you know,

02:48 yung mga consequences of his actions,

02:50 like it's harder for you to trust him again

02:54 and to respect the relationship

02:56 kasi he didn't respect it in the first place.

02:58 And so I think you have to reassess the situation

03:02 because I feel like you deserve more and you deserve better.

03:06 But again, if you love him, siyempre love always wins.

03:09 Lately, I'm realizing that my best friend and I

03:13 are having less things in common than before.

03:16 How do I make an effort to keep our friendship alive?

03:19 Or when do I know if it's time to let it go?

03:21 Alam mo, it's happened to me many times na outgrow mo yung tao.

03:28 Marami, we outgrow people.

03:29 Sometimes these are your friends, sometimes your colleagues,

03:34 sometimes even your partner, 'di ba?

03:36 You somehow fall out of love with them

03:38 or there are things that you don't enjoy doing together anymore.

03:43 But I think better not to burn any bridges.

03:46 Feeling ko because as I get older, I feel na it's better to have

03:52 a small circle of friends that you can trust

03:54 and you can rely on when there are things that you're going through.

03:59 But I also feel na friendship is also an investment.

04:04 You have to invest time and effort to make it work.

04:08 Feeling ko kung love mo talaga yung friend mo

04:10 and you think it's worth it, it's worth fighting for so why not?

04:15 Number five, I'm in my late 20s and my friends seem to have

04:18 life all figured out yet I still don't know what to do in the long run.

04:23 I know we all have our own pace but I can't help but feel like

04:27 I'm being left behind.

04:28 How do I deal with this?

04:30 You know, it's not a competition.

04:32 We have our own timeline as you said.

04:34 Ako I believe in the beauty of waiting.

04:38 You know, just wait for your time because it will come

04:42 and just focus on yourself.

04:44 Never let anybody else or anybody else's success bother you

04:48 because your time will come.

04:50 Number six, I'm 25 and have never been in a relationship.

04:54 I feel like I'm missing out by not dating.

04:57 What are the green flags I should look for in a partner?

05:00 You know what, you're not missing out on anything.

05:02 It's fun to be single too.

05:04 You should enjoy that era of your life.

05:08 They say.

05:08 What are the green flags that you should look for?

05:11 Unang-una, you should respect you.

05:14 I think that's the most important thing.

05:17 You should share the same values.

05:19 Nintawa ko, may pinanood ako stand-up comedy ni Amy Schumer.

05:25 Sabi niya, how do you know if he's the one?

05:28 You have to know if he will be able to stand you.

05:30 So I guess someone who can stand you.

05:33 Number seven, I gained weight during the pandemic

05:36 and people around me have been pointing it out,

05:39 causing me to feel insecure about my body.

05:42 I sometimes find myself looking at my old skinny pictures

05:46 and hating what I see now.

05:47 I don't feel beautiful at all.

05:49 How do I cope with this?

05:51 Ako, being in the limelight for 20 years,

05:56 I can totally relate to you

05:59 because, you know, parang it's easy to get scrutinized

06:04 by the way you look, just by the way you look.

06:07 Eventually, now that I'm learning, I'm getting older,

06:10 I feel like you should love yourself

06:12 no matter what size and form.

06:14 And if you don't like what you see in the mirror,

06:18 you should do something about it.

06:19 Maybe exercise, go on a diet, a healthy one.

06:22 But then you should never do these things for other people.

06:25 You should do it for you.

06:27 And that's it for today.

06:29 Which level would you like to take on the Cosmo Challenge next?

06:33 Let us know in the comment box below.

06:35 Don't forget to follow me on my socials

06:37 and subscribe to Cosmo's YouTube channel.

06:40 Thank you for watching!

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