Brigitte Kaandorp: 1000 & 1 Dag | movie | 2006 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

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Registration of the theatre program by the Dutch comedian Brigitte Kaandorp. | dG1fWmdvcnFrNVpjdWs

Transcript

00:00 It's a very well-known phenomenon, right?

00:02 'Start-fear', I'm suddenly thinking about it.

00:04 I recently read an article about it in the scientific journal of the newspaper.

00:07 It's also called 'official start-fear'.

00:09 So if you find it difficult to start something, you suffer from 'start-fear'.

00:13 That's the official term.

00:15 There are even people, we did a research on this,

00:17 there are even people, it was in the newspaper,

00:19 there are even people who are so afraid to start,

00:22 they don't even get born.

00:24 Yes, yes, it's true.

00:26 It's a scary seed.

00:28 Yes, yes, it's still swimming back.

00:31 Yes, really.

00:33 You can still have such guys, but they are just loose flotters.

00:36 You can't shoot them off.

00:38 You have nothing to do with it. It's swimming everywhere, except for the good ones.

00:41 Half of the world's population doesn't even come to the world.

00:44 It's a very tragic problem.

00:46 We are only with half, enough.

00:49 But it is a kind of tragic problem that the rest just doesn't dare to come to the world.

00:54 I've had it myself, by the way.

00:56 I didn't know that.

00:58 My father only recently told me.

01:00 He said, "Did you know that I really had to keep on pushing you to be born?"

01:03 "Yes, yes."

01:05 He said, "I had to do this 500, 600 times with your mother, before you could say yes."

01:10 "I came to the pre-school, because if you know my mother, it wasn't fun for my father."

01:13 "No, no."

01:15 "No, I also came over ten years late."

01:19 "Everyone was already born, I came to screw myself again with my start-fear."

01:24 "I've had it for a very long time."

01:27 "I just didn't start, with nothing."

01:30 "Not with my whole life."

01:32 "Everything was so long for me."

01:34 "Everything was, yes, well, it's coming, I'm going to do it, I have to go."

01:36 "I'm still hanging on, I'm still taking lessons, I'm still going to buy."

01:39 "Everything was temporary."

01:41 "At a certain point, I had a temporary house for a while."

01:46 "I was already an adult, a temporary house for a while."

01:48 "I had a temporary husband."

01:50 "I had a temporary dog."

01:52 "I had a dog."

01:54 "I had a temporary car."

01:56 "No, it wasn't fun anymore, it really wasn't fun anymore."

01:59 "It was really pathetic."

02:00 "But it was over in one go, it was over in one go with that whole start-fear."

02:03 "That's also a story."

02:04 "I have a son of twelve, and he saves Dinky Toys."

02:08 "Well, that's also a story, I wouldn't find it difficult anymore."

02:12 "Yes, that's also a 'sit ik nou' to think, huh?"

02:14 "No, yes, no."

02:16 "Yes, no, but that's not part of the show either."

02:18 "No, no, there's a woman sitting here who says, 'tell me now'."

02:20 "No, no, no."

02:22 "Yes, no, but that's also too private."

02:25 "Well, yes."

02:26 "Yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes."

02:28 "Yes, yes."

02:30 "Yes, yes."

02:31 "Very briefly, very briefly, just a moment, guys."

02:34 "We're going to start very briefly."

02:35 "Well, I was going to tell you very briefly."

02:37 "Yes, that's a story."

02:38 "Well, I have a son of twelve and a daughter of eight."

02:42 "But that has nothing to do with this story."

02:44 "And my son of twelve saved Dinky Toys."

02:47 "Those toy cars."

02:48 "You almost never see them again."

02:49 "By the way, you also never see boys who have a hobby saving Dinky Toys."

02:52 "It's a very old-fashioned hobby."

02:53 "It's also a very old-fashioned boy, by the way."

02:55 "Blonde hair, blue eyes, a window blouse."

02:57 "The same boy who used to sit in front of me on the bike and always in the hedge."

03:01 "Lazer, yes, yes."

03:03 "He's still alive."

03:04 "Yes."

03:06 "Yes, I'm really fed up with it."

03:07 "Because what a near-death experience."

03:09 "Dian is not all behind it."

03:10 "But anyway, anyway."

03:11 "Yes, people, come on."

03:12 "But anyway, so he's still alive."

03:13 "And he's been saving since..."

03:15 "Well, when he was in third or fourth grade, he was saving from those Dinky Toys."

03:18 "He just liked them."

03:19 "And those Dinky Toys..."

03:20 "Well, I don't know, those swirled a bit through the house."

03:23 "They were on the chimney, then in the window sill, then in a box, then under that bed."

03:27 "I don't know, well, those swirled a bit."

03:29 "And at some point he comes up to me and says, 'Mom, I'd like a plank.' "

03:32 "I say, 'What plank?' "

03:34 "He says, 'Well, a plank for above my bed.' "

03:36 "Then I can put those Dinky Toys up like that, preferably with a spot on it."

03:40 "And in the evening, before I go to sleep, I can look at my collection of Dinky Toys."

03:46 "With that light on it, like that."

03:47 "And then I turn it off and go to sleep."

03:49 "I say, 'Honey, I think it's a great idea.'"

03:51 "Yes, that I haven't come up with it myself yet."

03:53 "But that plank..."

03:55 "Well, then that plank, that was the story of my life."

03:58 "Because that plank didn't come afterwards."

04:00 "Do you know that?"

04:01 "Well, at least I had a plank."

04:02 "It's not that hard to get a plank from somewhere."

04:04 "You can get a plank everywhere."

04:05 "I had support to put that plank on."

04:07 "Plugs, screws, I don't know, a lot of drills, stone drills, wooden drills."

04:12 "I mean, I did have the hardware, at some point, all collected."

04:15 "But I didn't have the appropriate software program."

04:19 "Yes, no, but that's still crazy enough."

04:21 "A whole art to actually have that plank, water tank, on such a wall one day."

04:27 "Then you suddenly have the wrong plugs or the wrong screws."

04:29 "Or your battery drill is broken."

04:31 "Or you have a wooden drill and you need a stone drill."

04:33 "Or you fall from your stairs or someone calls you, I don't know."

04:35 "And then you say, well, you have a man for that, for that kind of work."

04:40 "But that was just gone."

04:42 "Yes, that's another story, well, so yes."

04:45 "Yes, no, yes."

04:47 "Well, so that was gone."

04:49 "And that plank, well, I don't know how long it stood at the foot of the child's bed against the wall."

04:55 "With that plastic bag, with those supports and those things and those plugs and those drills."

04:59 "The whole mess, it was just a bit of dusting."

05:02 "I had already forgotten the whole plank."

05:04 "And at some point, how was it?"

05:06 "How was it? Yes, God, I know, I'm sitting in my room at the table."

05:13 "At about five o'clock in the afternoon, dark, half past six, I don't know."

05:17 "I'm sitting somewhere to cry, I don't know, what's going on now?"

05:20 "Well, that doesn't matter anymore for that story."

05:23 "Maybe it's about that man again, well, it doesn't matter."

05:25 "And then my 12-year-old son suddenly comes in with a box."

05:29 "I say, honey, what's in that box?"

05:31 "I had a kind of anxious feeling, of course."

05:34 "He says, it's filled with Dinky Toys."

05:36 "And I say, oh, I say, what are you going to do with it?"

05:39 "He says, I'm going to give them away."

05:41 "He says, yes, I'm going to give them to Fransje."

05:44 "Fransje is our neighbor, our boy from the sixties."

05:46 "He was always crazy about those Dinky Toys."

05:48 "He says, yes, I've actually become a little too old for the Dinky Toys, mom."

05:54 "And besides, Fransje's father actually already hung a plank on his bed yesterday."

06:02 "And his mother had a little sport."

06:04 "And they immediately mounted it."

06:06 "And the switch is at his pillow, at the end of his head."

06:09 "Then he doesn't have to take his bed off when he goes to sleep."

06:13 "So I think that Dinky Toys are better off with him on that plank."

06:16 "Than just wandering around the house, mom."

06:19 "And he turns around and he walks out the door with that box."

06:22 "And I'm just standing there, looking at him."

06:25 "All a little confused."

06:28 "And he walks off the garden horse."

06:30 "And then he turns around again halfway through the garden horse."

06:33 "And then he says, oh, and then he says."

06:36 "He's a nice little boy, he says, oh, it doesn't matter, mom."

06:39 "You can do other things very well again."

06:42 "Yes, he says, you can write very nice songs about girls who can't keep up with their pee."

06:48 "And radiographed sailing boats and cows and stuff."

06:51 "That's also very smart, mom."

06:53 "And he turns around and walks off with that box."

06:56 "Oh, and then he turns around at the garden gate again."

07:00 "Oh, and then he says, and then he says."

07:04 "Don't cry, mom."

07:06 "It's good for my bargaining power."

07:10 "Yes, he's a nice little boy."

07:15 "He says, it's convenient for later."

07:17 "Then I can probably handle disappointments very well."

07:20 "And I learned that from you."

07:22 "Thank you, mom."

07:23 "He also says, oh, oh, oh, oh."

07:27 "And he turns around and walks off with that box."

07:30 "With those Dinky Toys that had never been on that plank above his bed."

07:35 "And then it was over in one go."

07:37 "I just wanted to tell you that, I'm making it way too long again."

07:39 "But then it was over in one go with that whole anxiety."

07:42 "I really hear a click in my head, literally a click."

07:45 "That was of course the button that went around, a real click."

07:49 "Or was it a click, if I remember correctly?"

07:51 "No, a click, it was a click, a real click."

07:53 "And then it was over in one go, from one second to the next, with that anxiety."

07:57 "From one second to the next, I was changed from hopelessly temporary to definitely."

08:04 [Code Red Defense]

08:06 [Code Red Defense]

08:08 [Code Red Defense]

08:10 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Brigitte Kaandorp: 1000 & 1 Dag | movie | 2006 | Official Clip

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