How I met your Mother by Your Everything Guy

Your Everything Guy

6/3/2025

funny moments in how I met your mother
#funny #tv #howimetyourmother

How I met your Mother

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Transcript

00:00Barney, the surprises are in a hand and they have to stop.

00:03Deal?

00:03But...

00:04Deal?

00:04But...

00:05Deal!

00:05But...

00:06Barney...

00:07Fine.

00:08You know what tie goes with that suit?

00:10The tie at the top of a hefty bag.

00:12A suit like that only needs one button.

00:14Self-destruct.

00:15Hey, I bought him that suit.

00:17Where?

00:17Barf's Brothers?

00:19Men's Outhouse?

00:21Georgio Arms Are Not The Same Lengthy?

00:24That suit is a slap in the face to all suits everywhere.

00:27Check out the illustration.

00:30No, no, that's it.

00:31Mm-hmm.

00:31Oh.

00:33It appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.

00:36Yes.

00:37Because on Not a Father's Day, you get a tie you'd actually wear.

00:41Wordplay 5!

00:43And then I banged her.

00:45In the forest.

00:46In the Gongjing Forest, yes.

00:48Actually, right near the slapping tree.

00:51Which may or may not have come into play.

00:54Oh my god, you had a treeway?

00:57Nothing sexier than a man in a fine cravat.

01:00Except for a woman who appreciates a fine cravat.

01:06How about we just call it a tie?

01:07You see, a cravat is a kind of tie.

01:15I get it.

01:16Jenkins.

01:17Aw, I can't wait to meet him.

01:20I should have corrected her.

01:21It would have been so easy.

01:23But I didn't.

01:24So, after that, whenever I talked about Jenkins, I always avoided pronouns.

01:30So the head of marketing comes in to choose people for the Midwest audit.

01:33So he goes, him, him, her, him, him, Jenkins, him, her.

01:41Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a turkey key to base.

01:44I'm coming with you.

01:44No, I base Stallone.

01:47Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted.

01:49Wordplay.

01:50Loving it.

01:50She's going to be your daughter in 33 hours.

01:53Daughter-in-law.

01:54Making it illegal for you not to treat her like a daughter.

01:58In-lawyard.

01:58I can't find my password.

02:01Okay, just can't you let them know that you lost it and they'll email it to you or something?

02:04No, they won't let me do that.

02:06I'm going to have to wait until the results come in the regular mail.

02:08That could be weeks from now, if ever.

02:10Our mail carrier hates me ever since I asked her when the baby was due.

02:13She wasn't pregnant?

02:15No, he was not.

02:17Robin just needs to see this new side of you.

02:20So just call her up?

02:21Just call her up?

02:24That's right.

02:25She wasn't there.

02:31I left a voicemail.

02:33You left a voice, but it wasn't mail.

02:36We should buy a bar.

02:37Of course we should buy a bar.

02:40We should totally buy a bar.

02:41We should totally buy a bar.

02:43Our bar would be awesome.

02:44And dude.

02:45Dude.

02:46Dude.

02:48Dude.

02:49The name of our bar.

02:52Puzzles.

02:53People would be like, why is it called Puzzles?

02:57That's the puzzle.

02:59Oh, look at my little cousins in their flower girl dresses.

03:02Oh, they look so cute next to their ring bearer.

03:05Yeah.

03:07Wait, you said ring bearer, right?

03:10Ring bear.

03:11Ring bearer.

03:13Ring bear.

03:14How'd school go today, Ted?

03:16Something bad happened.

03:18First class of the new semester.

03:20Daniel Burnham was an architect whose ever-shifting style and aesthetic made him a true architectural

03:26chameleon.

03:27And only the most gifted chameleon could have designed classic Beaux-Arts masterpieces right

03:33alongside sleek modern flat irons.

03:36His name might as well have been Daniel Chameleon.

03:40Um, professor, uh, do you mean chameleon?

03:47Betty, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced chameleon, so.

03:55Class dismissed.

03:57No homework for a while.

03:59Okay, I've learned that word by reading it.

04:02That's how I've always pronounced it.

04:03Ted, that wasn't easy.

04:05It took a lot of character to admit that.

04:07Okay, sure, Boston.

04:08You want to tussle?

04:09I'll tussle.

04:10You want to tussle?

04:10Let's tussle.

04:11Marine biologist.

04:12Please, no.

04:13You did not move to the greatest city on earth to become a coin-flipping bimbo.

04:18So, here's how it's gonna work.

04:19Heads, you take the job at World Wide News.

04:22Tails, you take the job at World Wide News.

04:25Hey!

04:26Looks like somebody got a new gig!

04:29Well, I'll call him tomorrow.

04:30I'll call him right now.

04:32Hi.

04:33Hello?

04:34It's me.

04:34I'm at the bar.

04:35Don't look.

04:35Just call me Mom.

04:37Oh, hi, Mom.

04:37How's Dad's?

04:39Colon.

04:40What?

04:40What's the matter with you?

04:43A new car!

04:44Ted, this is New York City.

04:46You're never gonna drive it.

04:47This is a really, really stupid purchase, and I'm sorry, but none of us can support it.

04:53Shotgun for eternity!

04:54You can't call shotgun for eternity.

04:56I just called it.

04:57You can't just call things, Barney.

04:58I call that I can call things.

05:00enhancedлы, too, and you have a glass of planets crazy.

05:03I want you to add the spacecraft.

05:03Okay, sure.

05:04I need you to know and let me know, so all I know will...

05:06...we'll bring you through the stuff in the next-مة, but I don't know.

05:21But go on.

05:21Hot cuid estimate.

05:22It's amazing!

05:22Okay, please.

05:23How did it sound?

05:24It's amazing, and it'll show you when it comes.

05:25It's amazing.

05:26It's wonderful!

I Found the FUNNIEST 5 minutes in How I Met Your Mother

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How I met your Mother

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