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We’re digging into the overlooked warning signs from everyone’s favorite “nice guy.” From questionable demands and controlling ultimatums to his judgmental moments with Carrie’s friends, Aidan’s red flags were always waving. Join us as we revisit the moments that made us question if he was as perfect as he seemed on “Sex and the City.” Which Aidan moment do you look back on differently? Let us know in the comments!
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00:00I love you, but I can't marry you to make you trust me.
00:04Welcome to Ms. Mojo.
00:05And today, we're counting down the times Aiden,
00:07the so-called nice guy of Sex and the City,
00:10wasn't as nice as we let ourselves believe.
00:13When I couldn't get you to sign a marriage license,
00:16I forced you into signing a lease with me
00:19on that apartment next door to yours.
00:23Number 10.
00:24He could have handled the whole buying Carrie's apartment thing better.
00:26When Aiden offered to help Carrie buy her apartment
00:28to get her out of a sticky situation,
00:30he was genuinely trying to be a good boyfriend.
00:32At least, that's how it came across.
00:34Well, would that make you my landlord or my roommate?
00:37Little of both.
00:38What would the rent be like?
00:39Like, uh...
00:41This?
00:50Does that include utilities?
00:52And honestly, we agree with Miranda.
00:54It was totally reasonable for him to offer to sell it back to her
00:57after they broke up.
00:58However, did he really need to add the additional time limit?
01:01This is more than fair.
01:03He's asking you to buy your apartment for the exact price he paid,
01:06or you can vacate and he'll sell it.
01:08Vacate?
01:09I'm homeless.
01:11I'll be a bag lady, a Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady.
01:13He remembers why he offered to buy it in the first place, right?
01:16Surely he didn't think Carrie scraped together the cash that fast after they split.
01:20If you ask us, that felt like his way of twisting the knife just a little.
01:24You have a rent-controlled apartment?
01:25I suggest you stay there.
01:27Well, unfortunately, that's really not an option.
01:32Now, what other d***s are you showing me today?
01:35Number nine.
01:36He could be judgmental.
01:38It wasn't great of Carrie to betray Miranda's confidence by telling Aiden about her pregnancy,
01:43and even worse, that the father is his buddy.
01:45Who's the guy?
01:48See, this is the reason that you can't tell anyone.
01:53It's Steve.
01:54And he doesn't know!
01:56Oh, come on!
01:57Sure, this puts Aiden in an awkward spot,
01:59but that doesn't excuse how little thought he gives to what this means for Miranda.
02:03He's only focused on Steve.
02:05It's his baby, too.
02:08Well, technically, it's not gonna be anybody's baby.
02:11Well, so what?
02:12It's all her decision?
02:14Seems like the guy gets the f***ing stick.
02:17Honestly, you can see why Carrie hesitated to tell her own abortion story.
02:20Not that Aiden was entitled to every detail of her past,
02:23but if she couldn't trust him with something like this,
02:26what does that say about their relationship?
02:27That said, we will admit he handled Carrie's story with far more understanding than he did Miranda's.
02:32So are you, are you judging me?
02:35Hey, I was no angel.
02:38What, did you ever get a girlfriend?
02:41No, not that I know of.
02:46God damn, it must be nice to be a guy sometimes.
02:50Number eight.
02:50He wasn't always as supportive as he could have been.
02:53Carrie basically gives up smoking for Aiden,
02:55which sure, might be better for her health in the long run.
02:58I can taste that cigarette.
03:00Oh, I'm sorry.
03:01I have an Altoid.
03:02Carrie, I think you just...
03:06No, no, I totally, totally get it.
03:09I have a mint here.
03:10They're curiously strong.
03:12But anyone who's ever had a dependency knows how tough it is to quit.
03:16Now, Aiden was already in a petulant mood thanks to Big's ill-timed phone call that morning.
03:20And look, we're not saying he had to just get over it,
03:23but he did choose to get back together with Carrie.
03:25Give me a good morning kiss.
03:26You might want to brush your teeth first.
03:33Well, that settled it.
03:35He wasn't forgiving or forgetting.
03:36So, taking his rage out on her morning breath was petty,
03:40but going after her nicotine patch was so many levels of wrong.
03:43Also, the fact that he doesn't apologize tells us it should have been over before it began.
03:48Or began again.
03:49Ow, ow.
03:52Well, that kind of hurt.
03:54What was that?
03:56I was just making sure it was on good and tight.
03:58Number seven.
03:59He seems to be okay with cheating.
04:01On his terms.
04:02Let's just say it now.
04:04Nothing on this list excuses Carrie's cheating.
04:06More than once.
04:08And he was married and it was a mess.
04:10And I don't know what I was thinking.
04:11I wasn't thinking.
04:12But it is so, so over.
04:14And I...
04:14And it was wrong.
04:16But Aiden is not quite as morally superior as he made himself out to be.
04:20When he crosses that line,
04:21suddenly things get very morally gray.
04:24First, there's that kiss with Carrie in the second movie,
04:26even though both of them are married.
04:28My wife showed me something on the internet.
04:31You know, she always kind of kept one eye on you,
04:35the one that got away.
04:35Was it revenge on Big?
04:38Maybe.
04:38But what did Aiden's wife and kids do to deserve that?
04:41And in And Just Like That,
04:42he reveals he cheated on Carrie with his ex-wife
04:44and seems more upset that Carrie is understanding.
04:47What does he expect her to do?
04:48Passive-aggressively slap a nicotine patch on him this time?
04:51You expected me not to sleep with anyone else for five years?
04:56Oh, yeah.
04:57That's what I agreed to.
04:58Okay, that's what you agreed to.
05:01And even you couldn't do it.
05:04Number six.
05:04He didn't really accept Carrie for who she is.
05:07They say opposites attract,
05:08but Carrie and Aiden might be the exception.
05:11Since you're coming up there with me next week.
05:13I am?
05:15Oh, man, I wish I could.
05:17But I have a meeting with my editor in town next week.
05:21That's all right.
05:21It's only 40 minutes away.
05:23You take the train in for your meeting,
05:25then right back out when you're done.
05:27Well, you just thought of everything, haven't you?
05:31She's a city girl through and through.
05:32Give her a night on the town or brunch with the girls and she's happy.
05:35Aiden, on the other hand, is a homebody who thrives out in the country with his best girl by his side.
05:40That restaurant in the Chambers Hotel with a period in the name?
05:43Town? Period?
05:44Supposed to be amazing?
05:46Exclamation point.
05:47You know what sounds amazing to me?
05:49What?
05:51Nice hot shower.
05:52Watching a game.
05:54Bucket of KFC.
05:56Now, relationships are about compromise,
05:58and sometimes that means making room for your partner's hobbies and lifestyle.
06:01But in this case,
06:02Aiden either misses or flat out ignores the signs that Carrie is not built for country living.
06:07It almost feels like he's trying to mold her into his ideal partner instead of accepting her as she is.
06:13Look at that.
06:13No, no, no, you don't understand.
06:15The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess and several little fires.
06:21So, come on.
06:21You feel like peeling some apples?
06:23Uh, I feel like taking a shower.
06:25Now?
06:26Number five.
06:27His conflict resolution skills could use some work.
06:30Don't get us wrong.
06:31Carrie inviting Big to Aiden's cabin was not her finest moment.
06:34Before I knew it,
06:35I was telling him to make a ride at the sign for Farm Fresh Summer Squash.
06:38I don't want him in my house.
06:40I totally understand.
06:41And look, he's going to come up here and we're going to have a quick talk.
06:45And then he's going to go right back to the city where he belongs.
06:48But Aiden didn't exactly come off as the bigger man here either.
06:51Big knows he is the last person Aiden wants to see.
06:54But he still tries to make the best of an awkward situation at the very least for Carrie's sake.
06:58Aiden, meanwhile, chooses a very different route.
07:01Neither guy is winning any awards for maturity here.
07:03But let's not forget who threw the first muddy ball.
07:06Watch it, man.
07:07That was a little hard.
07:08That wasn't that hard.
07:08Yeah, we're with Carrie on this one.
07:12Not how middle-aged men should be handling conflict.
07:15More importantly, not how fully evolved adult humans should be handling it either.
07:20Stop it!
07:21You're middle-aged!
07:22That dog just bit my ass!
07:30Pete!
07:31And just like that, Kato stopped the fight.
07:34Number four.
07:35He had a vengeful side.
07:37Sometimes we wonder why Aiden ever got back together with Carrie after her big affair.
07:41You want to do this to make up for the past?
07:46Relieve your conscience?
07:48Because we're okay.
07:52I've mentally kicked your butt all over Manhattan.
07:58I'm fine now.
07:59He clearly wasn't over it, so what was the idea here?
08:03Reignite the flame just so he could burn her with it?
08:05Case in point, when Carrie drops by Scout to see Aiden,
08:08she finds that the boys' night he told her about was canceled,
08:11but he's made a new friend.
08:12Shayna here is teaching me how to play Jax with the Peanuts,
08:16and I'm at Three-Z's.
08:20Hi, I'm Carrie.
08:22Oh, Carrie.
08:25Hi.
08:25I'm sorry.
08:26That's, uh, that's Shayna.
08:28He doesn't come home that night,
08:29and when she sees him next,
08:31he's still flirting with the bartender.
08:33Considering this was all after Big's phone call,
08:35we're sure he knew exactly what he was doing.
08:37It is petty,
08:38it is manipulative,
08:40and since when did two wrongs make a right?
08:42Keep your voice down.
08:44What are you doing?
08:46Nothing.
08:48It's my friend.
08:48We're friends.
08:49Well, why don't you just f***?
08:50Then we can both be bad.
08:52Number three.
08:53He's not a great communicator.
08:55Given everything we've covered so far,
08:56it probably won't shock you
08:58that Aiden also has some pretty terrible communication skills.
09:01Are you mad at me or something?
09:03Why would I be mad at you?
09:06Excuse me.
09:07We've already talked about his behavior
09:09in the Time and Punishment episode,
09:10where he spends the entire time
09:12passive-aggressively sulking like a man-child.
09:14And we'll say it again for the folks in the back,
09:16no one forced him to get back together with Carrie.
09:19I wish that I could be your girlfriend again.
09:31I need to think about that.
09:32Yet once they do,
09:34he keeps her on a knife's edge
09:35when actually a little healthy communication
09:37could have gone a long way.
09:3920-ish years later,
09:40he's still pretty bad.
09:41He lets Carrie give up her apartment
09:43before speaking up like he should have in the first place.
09:45You know why I never wanted to go back in there?
09:50Because you didn't want to feel that hurt.
09:55I was afraid I'd get mad at you all over again.
09:58Number two.
09:59He can be quite controlling.
10:01It's probably not a great sign
10:02when your relationship starts with lies and ultimatums.
10:05Red flags all around.
10:06I can't date a smoker.
10:10Oh.
10:12So...
10:12Really?
10:18It's a thing I have.
10:20And look,
10:20we all have deal breakers,
10:22but those are our boundaries to uphold,
10:24not things we force other people to bend to.
10:26Then there's the time he tells Carrie
10:28he doesn't want her talking to Big anymore.
10:29I don't want you to see him ever again.
10:33You can't do that.
10:37He's in my life.
10:40It's not the same way you are.
10:42Sure, the distrust is understandable
10:43given their history,
10:44but once again,
10:45it is a clear ultimatum,
10:47and it would not be the last.
10:48We wish we could say he had grown out of that
10:50by the time they reunited in And Just Like That,
10:53but his controlling behavior
10:54drives a wedge between him and Carrie once again.
10:56How is it possible
10:58that I haven't earned your trust by now?
11:02I have done everything
11:03to show you
11:05how fully committed I am to you.
11:07I have moved mountains and apartments.
11:11I am...
11:12I have agreed to arrangements.
11:14Arrangements that even you yourself
11:16couldn't live up to.
11:18Before we continue,
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11:34Number 1.
11:35He tried to force Carrie into marriage.
11:37This might be Aiden at his absolute worst.
11:40After Carrie has a panic attack
11:41trying on a wedding dress,
11:43she realizes she's not ready to get married.
11:45While Aiden initially suggests
11:46they slow down,
11:47it turns out he doesn't really mean it.
11:49Okay, how much time do you need?
11:53Six months?
11:56Nine months?
12:00End of the year?
12:02Which year?
12:03As they walk home,
12:05he suddenly hits fast forward
12:06on the wedding plans.
12:07What might seem like a grand,
12:09romantic,
12:10can't live without you gesture
12:11quickly reveals itself
12:12to be about something else entirely.
12:14Aiden, you're pushing me.
12:16Well, maybe you need to be pushed.
12:18What's the big deal?
12:19It's just a stupid piece of paper.
12:20If it's just a stupid piece of paper,
12:23then why do we need it?
12:25Because I need it!
12:27I want to make this official
12:29and lock this thing down.
12:31Carrie, I want the whole wide world
12:33to know that you're mine.
12:35What did he think?
12:35Married people don't cheat?
12:37He did know Big was married, right?
12:39Regardless,
12:39this is Aiden at his most controlling,
12:41possessive,
12:42and insecure.
12:43And unlike his suit,
12:45it's not a good look on him.
12:46If you don't want to marry me right now,
12:49you'll never want to marry me.
12:53That's not true.
12:54I think it is.
12:56What do you think was Aiden's
12:57biggest red flag?
12:58Let us know in the comments.
13:00In relationships,
13:01what are the deal breakers?
13:03let us know in the comments?
13:19Let us know in the comments,
13:19let us know in the comments,
13:22why do you want to marry rice?
13:25Let us know in the comments,
13:28let us know,
13:30and.
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