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Charles Madsen
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00:00My name's Mike Rowe, and this is my job.
00:03There you go, all right.
00:07I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty.
00:10How hot is it in there?
00:11It's around 140 degrees.
00:13Hard-working men and women.
00:15Apostrophobics need not apply.
00:17Who earn an honest living.
00:18We have no idea how deep that is.
00:19No idea, and I have no desire to find out.
00:21Doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
00:25Now get ready to get dirty.
00:30Oh, man.
00:32Ah!
00:33Coming up on this jam-packed special episode of Dirty Jobs.
00:37Uh-oh.
00:38I'd like to stop that.
00:40The pace starts at a crawl and stays there as I revisit some truly laid-back work.
00:46Uh-oh.
00:47Oh, man.
00:48Positions that offer zero room for advancement at companies with super low overhead.
00:54This could be frozen cod sperm slowly melting on me.
00:57So, if you have intimacy issues, beware as I squeeze myself into some more Tight Spaces.
01:03Awful, dude.
01:04Awful.
01:07Oh, God.
01:08Oh, God.
01:09Ah-oh.
01:10Oh-oh.
01:11Oh!
01:12Ah-oh.
01:13So, yelling at me?
01:16Oh-oh.
01:17Yeah!
01:20Welcome to Tight Spaces Part Two.
01:23If you were a fan of Tight Spaces Part 1, man, oh man, are you in the right place.
01:28If, on the other hand, you are among the hundreds of viewers who wrote me long letters
01:32expressing your level of freaked-outedness over our previous homage to confined spaces and helpless restraint,
01:40then you may want to rethink your programming choices for the next hour.
01:43The truth is, I get more letters from self-described claustrophobes
01:48than all my other anxiety-ridden fans combined,
01:51which makes a certain amount of sense, I suppose, because according to Wikipedia,
01:54which is fun to quote because they may or may not be accurate,
01:57more people suffer from the fear of being trapped and buried alive than any other phobia ever.
02:04Do you suffer from that condition? You're not sure?
02:07Well, consider this. The hills of Northern California are covered with abandoned mine shafts left over from the gold rush days.
02:15It's true. These nasty little pits of despair are all over the place,
02:21most of them concealed by debris and leaves and other stuff that just kind of blows over the openings.
02:27Consequently, every year, deer, rabbits, bears, and people fall into these holes, never to emerge again.
02:35It's a serious problem. The mine shafts need to be plugged up, but before you do that,
02:40somebody has to go in to make sure that nobody's lying there on the ground, helpless, waiting for oblivion.
02:47That guy is Ed Winchester and me.
02:50But mainly it's Ed Winchester.
02:53Does this have a special name?
02:56That is called a McLeod.
02:57A McLeod?
02:58Mm-hmm.
02:59You're going to take that McLeod and you're just going to break this stuff off so that we can...
03:04Oh!
03:08Are you telling me that Safety Fred just threw his shovel down a 50-foot hole?
03:13On some jobs, the area where you're working is tight,
03:15but here the tightest part is just getting to the work in the first place.
03:19Oh, wow.
03:20Hey, come on down a little bit more.
03:21Yeah.
03:21And look to your right.
03:24To my... Oh, cool.
03:25What are we looking at here?
03:26I'm not sure. I would guess they're frogs of some sort.
03:30There's one here.
03:31Maybe we're about to have a plague.
03:37Good God, man.
03:39We're never getting out of this hole.
03:42This is not where I wanted to be, was between your legs.
03:46What the hell?
03:48Who's doing that?
03:49That's Troy. I'm coming down here.
03:51You're coming down.
03:52Oh, God.
03:53Ah!
03:54Ah!
03:56Ah!
03:57You really know how to spread the misery around, Troy.
03:59Oh, jeez.
04:00Man, look how your shovel's stuck in the ground.
04:02That was awesome.
04:03So...
04:03So you want to go down in this room?
04:04We have a drift off in two different directions.
04:10It's actually pretty well developed.
04:12So we're going to take a step or two down this way.
04:16We find gold.
04:18Let's not block this off just yet.
04:20I mean, we should take a look around because once we seal this up, human eyes will never
04:23look at it again.
04:24An old beer can or three.
04:25You really got to want to drink beer all the way down here.
04:33Okay.
04:35Now, we just came across something that is really dangerous.
04:38See this water here?
04:39Mm-hmm.
04:40You can see that it goes way out there.
04:43That's so clear.
04:44Right.
04:44We're actually looking at the bottom there, aren't we?
04:46Yeah, but is it 50 feet or is it 10 feet?
04:50Right.
04:51If you were to go in it, there's a couple things that could happen.
04:53It could release dangerous gases that are trapped by the tension on the surface of the
04:58water.
04:58But also, if you disturb that silt, the only way you can tell up from down, because you'll
05:03be instantly disoriented, is to feel bubbles go across your face.
05:07So imagine trying to be that calm when you just went to zero visibility.
05:11It's kind of like an avalanche.
05:12People die in mines like this all the time.
05:15Trying to take big steps.
05:16There you go.
05:17At the end of the workday, what goes in a tight space must come out.
05:22All right, seriously, how do we get out of here?
05:24This is how it's going to go.
05:25It's going to be like this the whole way.
05:28Does that hurt?
05:29Yeah, it's going to get worse.
05:31Rock.
05:32That one hurt.
05:33One, two, three.
05:36Okay, so I'm done.
05:38Don't ever try that.
05:42Psychiatrists will tell you that the real essence of claustrophobia isn't
05:45limited to being in a confined space.
05:47It's the knowledge that there's no way out.
05:50Edgar Allan Poe knew that.
05:52That's why the cask of Amontillado is so daggone scary.
05:54Concrete chippers know it, too.
05:55It's just that if you're a concrete chipper working in the drum of a concrete truck,
05:59you can see the exit.
06:01It's just that you can't use the exit until you're finished doing the job.
06:04And in the case of concrete chipping, that's only slightly worse than being buried alive.
06:09I appear to be in.
06:16All right.
06:17Here's your hammer.
06:19All right.
06:21Jeez.
06:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:23Now, how close can I get to the drum?
06:35You're going to hear a distinct...
06:36When you hit the drum, you're going to hear a distinctive different sound.
06:39Oh, I'm not going to hit the drum.
06:40And when you...
06:40Well, I mean, you kind of got to get to it.
06:43Right.
06:43I don't want you to follow through with it.
06:45Stuff's like concrete.
07:05Good job.
07:06Good job.
07:06Good job.
07:15Hey, Mike, that's when you hit the metal.
07:45We've got some pretty big dents out here.
07:48Oh, crap.
07:48I'm sorry about that.
07:50You're tearing up the drum.
07:52I'm sorry.
07:53The drum has torn me up.
07:57Oh, oh, ah.
07:59I found that getting out of a concrete drum isn't as hard as getting in.
08:04It's harder.
08:09Well, help.
08:11Hello.
08:13They think I'm joking.
08:15I can't believe it.
08:25I can't get out of a damn truck.
08:29Go out the end and out through the end of it.
08:32Well, that's a hell of a tip.
08:34There's a ladder back there.
08:35Could have used that maybe an hour and a half ago, for God's sakes.
08:38A concrete drum doesn't seem like a tight space until you try to get out.
08:47Are you kidding?
08:48Can you get on your back?
08:49On my back?
08:50Yeah.
08:51Sure.
08:53Here, stick your hands up above your head.
08:55All right?
08:57Oh, man.
08:59Great job, huh?
09:00I'm king of the dirt.
09:09The other thing about concrete chipping that makes it so claustrophobic is the fact that
09:13all your senses are deprived.
09:15You're mute.
09:15You're deaf.
09:16You're pretty well blind in that thing.
09:18And the jackhammer, by the way, weighs about 100 pounds.
09:22You know what psychiatrists say about that?
09:25Nothing.
09:26They're psychiatrists.
09:27They don't know anything about jackhammers.
09:29When we come back, we answer the question, what came first?
09:32The fish or the semen?
09:36Ben.
09:37See?
09:37Nobody had relations up here.
09:39We missed it.
09:40Love is in the air, and so is something else.
09:43Urine.
09:44Who's?
09:44People.
09:45People are peeing down the shaft.
09:47And later.
09:48You're going to want me to crawl inside this thing, aren't you?
09:50Uh-huh.
09:50It's hard to stand tall when you can't stand at all working in tight spaces.
09:55Blind as a mole.
09:56Stupid job.
09:57Sigmund Freud once argued that something called the birth trauma
10:05has rendered all of us latent claustrophobes to one degree or another.
10:10Another less famous psychiatrist named Stanislav Grof took it a step further.
10:14He suggested that as infants, we all shared a common horrifying experience,
10:20that being the sight of a partially opened cervix.
10:25I don't know about all that.
10:26I just know that people with 30 jobs spend a lot of time in tight spaces.
10:30And over the last five years or so, I've crawled headfirst into more than a few dark tunnels.
10:37True, I don't recall coming across any cervixes, partially opened or otherwise.
10:43But I have seen some curious things.
10:48One of them was a Coast Guard buoy in San Francisco Bay.
10:51I never even knew you could get inside of one of these.
10:53And now I can tell you, you don't want to.
10:57What we call shooting the tube.
10:58Well, what's the actual point of crawling up into this thing?
11:02Anything that obstructs in here will plug up the sound so it won't go through all the way up to that point.
11:08That's hideous.
11:09Yeah.
11:10It's not that bad.
11:11No, it's that bad, man.
11:14Ow.
11:16Okay.
11:18Okay, completely disgusting.
11:21Once again, easy way to get this out.
11:29Hey, Mike, where are you going?
11:30I'm pushing a bunch of stuff out with my ass.
11:33You haven't got halfway up there yet?
11:35No, I don't think it's possible, Pat.
11:40You ready for a push?
11:41I'm ready for a push.
11:47All right.
11:48Keep going.
11:49Get him all the way up.
11:50Oh, that's nice.
11:51I'm weighing the tube.
11:52I got some...
11:54I got the blockage.
12:00That's up.
12:01All right, so I'm inside a buoy.
12:03And I'm trying to get...
12:05As far as we go, I'm afraid.
12:24Crap, there's one little piece of debris there.
12:28I kind of get it with my light.
12:33Oh, now I've done it.
12:37All right, Mike, it's been good.
12:39I can't reach the light.
12:43I can't reach the frigging light.
12:46You know what?
12:47If you hand me the tool, I can probably get it.
12:57Can't reach the light.
13:02Got it.
13:03Tool coming down.
13:07Post coming down.
13:09You ready?
13:10Yeah.
13:10Give me your foot.
13:11Safety jacket.
13:19Why'd I wear that?
13:20I believe that's what they call the breach presentation.
13:24Look, I've been in so many crappy holes over the last five years.
13:27I sometimes wonder if the people I meet on this show are just making up jobs in order to see if I'll try them.
13:33Take the buoy, for instance.
13:35Isn't there a tool that could be used for that job?
13:38I mean, was it really necessary for me to climb all the way up inside the thing?
13:41I'm not saying the guys from the Coast Guard were messing with me.
13:45I'm just telling you that after all this time, I've developed a healthy suspicion of all semen.
13:51Especially when the job smells fishy.
13:54The legacy is what's known as a catcher processor vessel or a floating fish factory.
13:59But before her crew can go catch new fish, they have to clean up after the previous haul.
14:04All the fish guts, fish fluids, and other fish parts that are thrown away get ground up and pumped into the ocean.
14:11And the area around the grinder sump pump needs to be scooped out and cleaned regularly.
14:16I'm going in there to clean out the worst of the worst.
14:19Yeah, the worst.
14:21All right, well, that's another tight space.
14:23Yeah.
14:24Steve is the foreman on the legacy.
14:27And we do this after we've been up for like 30 hours.
14:31It's a real job, right?
14:32This is a real job.
14:33Yes, it is.
14:34Cleaning around the grinder sump pump is actually a very important job.
14:37If it's not done, the pump can get clogged and all the stuff that's supposed to be pumped out
14:41will instead get backed up into the processing areas.
14:47That's fantastic.
14:48What's the white stuff in here?
14:50Those are actually ears that come out of fish.
14:52You've got to be kidding me.
14:53No, I'm not kidding you, Mike.
14:55That looks like brain.
14:57No, that's actually a cod sperm.
15:02That's what we got.
15:03It's cod sperm.
15:05Cod sperm?
15:06Yes.
15:06That's the sperm from a single cod?
15:09Yes.
15:09How big is this thing?
15:12It's such a Kodiak.
15:14Here you see little tiny bits of cod sperm.
15:18Look at them.
15:18They're almost beautiful when the light hits them that way.
15:21Oh.
15:22This is surprisingly bad.
15:24It is bad.
15:25What makes cod sperm so doggone weird looking?
15:30There's actually people that eat them.
15:32Really?
15:32Yeah.
15:33Different countries.
15:33They boil it.
15:35Oh, I tell you right now, Barsky would eat this.
15:46Awful, dude.
15:47Yeah.
15:47Awful.
15:48Very.
15:48I warned you, this show wasn't going to be for everybody.
15:52But since you're still watching, you want to see something really awful?
15:55Sure you do.
15:56Check out Barsky, fulfilling my prophecy.
16:00He makes the cod sperm look good.
16:02Don't you think?
16:03When we come back, we will see if what goes down comes back up.
16:12That again is what, over 8,000 feet?
16:158,516 feet.
16:16Over a mile and a half between me and the ground.
16:18The whole sky above my head.
16:20And not one inch sideways.
16:22I just can't fit through there.
16:23Too much man.
16:25And later.
16:26Why did my light just go off?
16:28More jobs where space is at a premium.
16:30And everyone's the low man on the totem pole.
16:32Go back over the one I just did and make sure I did it right.
16:35Because when it comes to quality control, I'm the guy you want.
16:37You would be the guy.
16:38Yeah, I'm the guy.
16:44The interesting thing about tight and cramped spaces is sometimes the location in which they appear.
16:51Often unexpected.
16:52Take, for instance, the top of an elevator.
16:55You ever been to the top of an elevator?
16:58Like on top of the ceiling?
17:00It's a heck of a place.
17:01A little out of the way.
17:02Kind of like a den of iniquity.
17:04It's true.
17:05Ne'er-do-wells and reprobates will oftentimes congregate on the top of an elevator because
17:11it's an out-of-the-way place.
17:13Once situated, they will then engage in their illegal and sometimes amoral activities.
17:20And can I tell you something?
17:22It's disgusting.
17:23A lot of times people use these things for bad things.
17:28Tell me.
17:29Maybe a little drug use.
17:31Maybe they had a little relationship up here and they left a little evidence.
17:35Hey guys, is that condom on the floor?
17:37Yeah.
17:37Right there.
17:44See?
17:44Somebody had relations up here.
17:46We missed it.
17:46Ah!
17:50That's a defective product.
17:52At least we didn't come up here while they were using it.
17:54That's happened before.
17:56Really?
17:57Yes.
17:57So you walk into the overhead and right in the middle of a little inflagrante delecto.
18:01It wasn't really in the overhead, but it was at a job we were doing.
18:04Turn around the corner to our little shanty where we keep our tools and it's a happy couple
18:07getting it on.
18:08Somebody else taking care of their tools in a little too many.
18:10Yeah, unfortunately.
18:11How did they respond?
18:13They actually finished what they were doing.
18:15Is that right?
18:15They didn't even get up and leave.
18:17There's another problem that we didn't run into this building that we usually run into.
18:20Yeah.
18:21Urine.
18:22Who's?
18:23People.
18:23Usually in those situations, we come in and we put waterproof elevator equipment in.
18:29You've got to waterproof your elevator equipment because people pee on it.
18:32People are peeing down the shaft.
18:34All right, this looks a little better.
18:36Good.
18:36I'm slowing you down, aren't I?
18:38Yeah, it's all right.
18:38I get paid by the hour.
18:39You're going to make a fortune today, dude.
18:41What do we do now?
18:42Run the car up and clean out the pit.
18:44The pit is under us?
18:45Under us.
18:45Yes, it is.
18:48There you go.
18:51Oh, that's a pit.
18:51There's all the dirt that we swept off the shaft.
18:54Oh, and wait a minute.
18:55Your whole pee theory just went up in smoke, man.
18:59Can you smell that?
19:00Yeah, it's a little rusty down here, too.
19:01Yeah, see the rust?
19:03That's pee rust.
19:06This is a very depressing, frightening little place.
19:09Yeah, welcome to my world.
19:11Oh, yeah, there's...
19:12Sure.
19:13Pizza.
19:14Penny.
19:15Rat poison.
19:16Here's a bill somebody simply didn't want to pay.
19:18Hmm.
19:19Uh-oh.
19:21Somebody left home without it.
19:23It's usually a 50-50 split also.
19:25What's their credit card?
19:26Let me make some calls.
19:27See what kind of limit they had.
19:30Okay.
19:30All right.
19:36So long, elevator pit.
19:39No doubt about it.
19:40Elevators make life in the big city a whole lot easier.
19:42But that doesn't mean they're not disgusting.
19:47I'll tell you something else.
19:48Nowadays, most elevators have cameras in them.
19:52I got a buddy named Frank runs building security at a high-rise here in San Francisco.
19:56And Frank tells me that the things you'll see people doing in an elevator when people don't think you're watching, very revealing.
20:06Anyway, elevators will only take you so far.
20:08If you want to take your claustrophobia to new heights, you're going to need a bigger cable.
20:17They've got a big one in Palm Springs, California, and they need to get these two aerial tram cars up and down a mountain.
20:23This job taught me that the great outdoors and tight spaces are not mutually exclusive.
20:28And that, again, is what, over 8,000 feet?
20:30Correct.
20:308,516 feet.
20:32And what are we going to do with the tram today?
20:34Today, we're going to grease the carriage, which is the traveling wheels on the tram car.
20:39That thing right there.
20:40That thing right up above us that lets the tram roll up and down on the tracks.
20:43Uh-huh.
20:44Each tram car is reliant on the other.
20:47So when one goes up, the other is coming down.
20:51The shivs, or the wheels, which attach the carriage to the track, keep things running smoothly.
20:55This would be the carriage, I'm fairly sure.
21:00And, uh...
21:01What you're going to do is set a hydraulic ram on that...
21:04Support beam.
21:05Support beam.
21:06Pump up the ram.
21:06It'll lift up on the carriage to get the weight off of it so we can grease the pivots.
21:11All right.
21:12Swing your body up in there, yeah.
21:15It's just that first step is such a son of a gun, man.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Ow.
21:27Once again, concussion by safety.
21:30I mean, I didn't see this in the vacation brochure, but it's not bad.
21:34Okay, I'm going to hand you this hydraulic ram setup.
21:37All right.
21:37Now you just want to hold that in place until we get some tension against it.
21:42Ram's moving.
21:46No, what we're trying to do is take the tension off of these and this pivot point.
21:51Right.
21:51So the grease will be able to flow, and wouldn't you know, we ran out of grease.
21:57Well, this is one of those awkward moments in television.
22:00The boys have gone off to get some more lube, and I've been left dangling from my cable by my lanyard.
22:05Well, I've never felt safer.
22:11It's definitely a two-man job, isn't it?
22:13Oh, yes.
22:14Of course, everything on your safety belt gets hung up.
22:17Of course.
22:21That's all wrong, Pat.
22:23It's all part of the job.
22:24We're heading up to 8,500 feet to change a worn-out shiv at the mountain station.
22:29In order to replace the worn shiv, I'm going underneath to loosen the bolt.
22:33Yeah, it's just, I don't think I can fit in there.
22:36I don't think so either.
22:37I don't think I can get out either.
22:41It's not my lungs.
22:44Something else is stuck.
22:47I've been in a lot of tight spaces.
22:48This is the first one I, I just can't fit through there.
22:51Too much men.
22:52Watch old John here.
22:53He'll just slide right in.
22:55Look at that.
22:56Mike, if you want to come in position over here, you can pull the shiv out.
23:01All right.
23:02Now, get it down and pull it down.
23:08Okay.
23:10Replacing a shiv on a tram car.
23:13Cold job.
23:15Psychiatrists have yet to come up with a term that accurately describes a person who simultaneously
23:21suffers from both acrophobia and claustrophobia, which I think is a little weird because studies
23:26have shown that many people who don't want to be buried alive also resist the possibility
23:30of falling off of a tall building.
23:33Send a psychiatrist up to replace a shiv on an aerial tram.
23:37They'll come up with a new term.
23:39When we come back, a haunted tube, a lack of lube, and a space so tight, I had to shoot
23:46the show myself.
23:48Then, man, that is one dirty tube.
23:51I dirty myself to make dirt less dirty.
23:54That's pretty dirty.
23:56And later, like threading a needle with a sausage, you know?
24:00Upward mobility is usually measured in dollars.
24:03On these jobs, it's measured in inches.
24:05I've been here for eight hours.
24:07I haven't seen a beer.
24:08I'm not even sure they make beer here.
24:12Welcome back to the Marine Mammal Center here in Sausalito, California, home to recuperating
24:16seals and sea lions in more than a few tight spaces.
24:20This is one of those specials where words like favorite actually mean miserable.
24:25So with that in mind, I'd like to introduce you now to one of my favorite tight spaces,
24:30the inside of a balsprit.
24:31What's that?
24:33Never been in a balsprit before?
24:36Well, neither did I.
24:37This one is memorable for a number of reasons.
24:39First of all, it's very long and uncomfortable.
24:41It's cramped.
24:42It's also haunted by an evil demon and full of tetanus.
24:46Enjoy.
24:47This is where the crew might have slept because it was the crappiest place on the boat.
24:52This is a crappy place, man.
24:53What's this?
24:54This is called the balsprit.
24:57It's a hollow piece of iron that was laid up in 1863, so we have to periodically inspect
25:03it.
25:03You're going to want me to crawl inside this thing, aren't you?
25:05Uh-huh.
25:06You're going to be climbing up in there.
25:08Looking for rust?
25:09Looking for rust.
25:09If you find any rust, you need to report it to me.
25:12Isn't that the do-rag I wore?
25:13This is the official do-rag you wore.
25:15You're going to hear it if you listen to the-
25:18Hello?
25:20No, you might.
25:21Hey!
25:21Hey, get out of there.
25:22You're bleeding.
25:23You might actually hear that up in there because we do have spirits on board the vessel.
25:28What are you talking about?
25:29There were lives born and lives lost on board this vessel.
25:33You're telling me the ship's haunted?
25:35Yes.
25:35Okay, so it gets better and better.
25:37It's a small confined space full of razor-sharp pieces of steel and-
25:41And spirits.
25:41An evil presence.
25:42Yeah, yeah.
25:42Oh, awesome.
25:46Oh, yeah.
25:47Look at that.
25:47That's how miserable.
25:49That's some of that razor-sharp steel we're talking about.
25:51Right here, already.
25:53I found rust.
25:54Well, you have to come back and fix it someday.
25:56I'll make sure to do that.
25:58Uh-oh.
25:59I like the sound of that.
26:00You didn't rip that new sweatshirt we gave you, did you?
26:03Ow.
26:03Ah, why'd my light just go off?
26:07Well, that's spirits, Mike.
26:08Oh, man, there's rust everywhere here, George.
26:11Oh, you're gonna need to spend another three, four days in here.
26:13You don't wanna stick around and do that for us, huh, Mike?
26:16No, I don't.
26:16Great.
26:17Ah, there goes time light again.
26:18Son of a...
26:19All right, my light's back on, you schizophrenic orb.
26:26Send some of this back down your way.
26:29Okay.
26:31Okay.
26:31Yeah, you're right, Mike.
26:32This is looking pretty ugly.
26:33It's getting worse up here, too.
26:35All right.
26:36I've come as far as I can go.
26:37Ow.
26:39Ow.
26:40My beautiful new sweatshirt.
26:43Boss, stop your whining.
26:44Ah.
26:46Oh.
26:46I think the spirits have me, George.
26:49You're absolutely right.
26:51This tube is haunted.
26:52Oh.
26:53I can read the soles of your shoes now.
26:55What do they say?
26:56Get me the hell out?
26:57Yeah.
26:58Okay.
26:59That is a haunted tube.
27:04Now, some people might say that crawling around the inside of a bowsprit to look for pieces
27:09of rust is another one of those made-up jobs.
27:11I know that because I've said that.
27:13But I'll tell you what.
27:14Crawling inside of a kiln that sterilizes dirt in order to complete a welding task, that's
27:21a real job.
27:22And it's really tough.
27:23And the guy you're about to meet, Heath, is really good at it.
27:26In fact, when you see Heath work with the welding torch, I think you'll agree that his
27:30skills and mine are almost indistinguishable.
27:35Ah.
27:36Okay.
27:37In a rotary kiln.
27:38Okay.
27:39Is this your office?
27:40This is my office.
27:40Can I just slip behind you and watch you do what you do?
27:43Yes, you can.
27:47Basic welding 101.
27:48I mean, is there any tips you want?
27:49Just keep it in a straight line.
27:50That's the extent of your advice?
27:51That's the extent of my advice.
27:52Alright.
27:53You can either do this one here or you can go back over the one I just did and make sure
28:04I did it right.
28:05Oh yeah.
28:06Because when it comes to quality control, I'm the guy you want.
28:08You would be the guy.
28:09Yeah, I'm the guy.
28:10Yeah, I'm the guy.
28:11It should fire there, right?
28:12But...
28:13Uh-oh.
28:14See, the problem is when you pull this down, it's just as dark as night.
28:19You can't see a thing.
28:20Oh yeah, I can see stuff.
28:23Yeah, I can see stuff.
28:24Morse code.
28:25Dodge!
28:26Dodge!
28:27Dodge!
28:28Blind as a mole.
28:29That's it.
28:30Great.
28:31Stupid job.
28:32Yeah.
28:33Take it back.
28:34It's not bad for your first time.
28:35It's not my first time.
28:36Uh-huh.
28:37God, it's a mess.
28:38I tell you what man, welding's a real talent, isn't it?
28:55It can be.
28:58You already got your mask in place, sir.
29:01Oh yeah.
29:02After welding the kiln, it's time to clean out the afterburner.
29:05This is where the dirty stuff that's been removed from the dirt gets incinerated.
29:09Man, that is one dirty tube.
29:29Holy crap!
29:32That's pretty dirty!
29:33One more!
29:34Oh my God!
29:35That's horrible!
29:36Pretty bad, huh?
29:37Pretty bad, huh?
29:38Now to be clear, not all tight places are dirty.
29:42And not all dirty places are tight.
29:44But when you find a place that's dirty and tight, well, it leaves me all choked up.
29:49When we come back, is it really necessary to wait to the end of the day to enjoy a cold beer?
29:54Yes.
29:55As a matter of fact, it is.
29:56Yes.
29:57As a matter of fact, it is.
29:58Ben, do people really get in here?
29:59Ah!
30:00Ah!
30:01You're moving.
30:02You'd expect a job at a nut house to be crazy dirty.
30:03There you go, Nick.
30:04You just kind of lean on back.
30:05Yeah.
30:06This is a picnic now.
30:07And later, you want me to get inside of the gigantic blender and clean it?
30:08Your best bet is to straddle that shaft.
30:09Jobs where it's hard to get a word in edgewise, or for that matter, anything else.
30:11Am I going the...
30:12There's no way I'm going the wrong way.
30:13I mean, you can see a job at a nut house at a nut house.
30:14That's not nice.
30:15You can see a job at a nut house.
30:16Yep.
30:17They're completely missing.
30:18And the big deal.
30:19They just came in the back.
30:20Oh my gosh.
30:21All right.
30:22Let's go.
30:23And later, you want me to get inside of the gigantic blender and clean it?
30:29Your best bet is to straddle that shaft.
30:32Jobs where it's hard to get a word in edgewise, or for that matter, anything else.
30:36Am I going the...
30:37No, there's no way I'm going the wrong way.
30:39Am I going the wrong way, Dwight?
30:40Yeah, I'm going the wrong way.
30:44I honestly don't know what's more difficult, squeezing myself into a tight space.
30:53We're attempting to remove myself from a tight space.
30:57All I know is that at the end of the day, tight spaces can work up a powerful thirst in the
31:02fella.
31:03In the past on this program, I've tried to acknowledge the link between hard work and
31:08a cold beer.
31:09And honestly, I always hear something about it.
31:11Something not so good.
31:12I understand and I don't want to make trouble, but I do want to take this opportunity to point
31:16out that if I'm going to be sent to a beer factory for the express purpose of cleaning
31:21out a 140 degree Lauderton with a squeegee, there ought to be something waiting for me,
31:27cold and frosty at the end of the day.
31:29Something with my name on it.
31:31It's just a theory.
31:34What the hell is this?
31:37All right, so what's the deal?
31:40We squeegee it out.
31:41You go inside the thing?
31:42Yep.
31:43How hot is it in there?
31:44It's around 140 degrees.
31:46Squeegee first?
31:48Oh, crap.
31:50I'll fix that when I get down there.
31:55I'm going in.
32:02It's kind of warm, where I'm sitting, you know what I mean?
32:09Like threading a needle with a sausage, you know?
32:19Okay, all right, it's warm, it's hot, I broke the squeegee, sorry Dave.
32:31I can fix it.
32:32I'm handy with things like this.
32:34All right, all right, it's pretty simple, push the grain, back down in the hole.
32:43One of the most important tasks of making beer is keeping the brewing equipment clean
32:47and sanitized.
32:48I've been here for eight hours and I haven't seen a beer.
32:51I'm not even sure they make beer here.
32:53Because contamination by bacteria will not only make the beer taste bad, but it'll make
32:57you sick.
32:59Of course, cleaning out 140 degree Lauderton can easily dehydrate you, which can make you
33:05sick as well.
33:06No matter, it's all for a good cause.
33:08A clean, refreshing brew for thirsty beer connoisseurs all over the country.
33:18Nobody wants warm beer, at least not in this country.
33:24So to keep the beer cold, somebody's got to jam themselves into a cramped, miserable place
33:29and work to the point of dehydration doing what needs to be done.
33:32That's the cost to the finer things in life, including walnuts.
33:36Walnuts.
33:37In California, I don't know if you knew this, but walnuts, they don't grow looking like walnuts,
33:44wind up looking.
33:45They're covered with hair.
33:47And when they fall off the tree, they land in the dirt and they get dirty.
33:50And nobody wants their nuts covered with hair and dirt, at least not in this country.
33:55So once again, somebody's got to roll up their sleeves and jam themselves into a miserable
34:00location and do what must be done.
34:03In this case, the job was at a walnut farm, cleaning a part of the machine that cleans the
34:08walnuts.
34:09Its nickname says it all.
34:10They call it the black hole.
34:12Okay.
34:13How does one get in?
34:14Really?
34:15Ow.
34:16Ah.
34:17Ow.
34:18Well, this better not be a made up job, man.
34:22People really get in here?
34:23Ah.
34:24Ah.
34:25Now you're moving.
34:26Ah.
34:27There's nowhere to stand, man.
34:32All right, give me a flat little hole.
34:37That's why it's small.
34:45From the fermented gunk to this dry, crusty crud, these little nuts create a lot of dirt.
34:51There you go, now you can just kind of lean on back.
34:58Yeah.
34:59It's like a picnic now.
35:01Do these need to be razor sharp like that?
35:11That looks pretty good.
35:12Yeah, thanks.
35:13Well, there you go.
35:14Beer, nuts, and tight spaces, all jammed in one act.
35:19Doesn't get much weirder than that.
35:20Then again, when we come back, I'll be shooting sticky goo from a giant hose over the lush and
35:22rolling hills of Southern California.
35:23Sound like fun?
35:24It's not.
35:25And later.
35:26It's hard to work the shaft when the holes is tight.
35:28Even a job you don't love can leave you head over heels in tight spaces.
35:31Oh, this is super comfortable.
35:32My preoccupation with tight spaces has less to do with the fact that I'm often in one and
35:44more to do with the fact that I can't seem to avoid them.
35:46They normally present themselves at the end of a long day in the form of a pit or a hole or over here, Doug, a disgusting nook or cranny.
35:53Sometimes a holding tank full of goop.
35:57The goop in question, in this case anyway, is something called Dwargum mixed with wood.
36:02This is super comfortable.
36:03My preoccupation with tight spaces has less to do with the fact that I'm often in one and more to do with the fact that I can't seem to avoid them.
36:09They normally present themselves at the end of a long day in the form of a pit or a hole or a, over here, Doug, a disgusting nook or cranny.
36:15I'm mixed with green mulch, which I'd been squirting all over the hillsides of California for the purposes of erosion control.
36:26You're supposed to spray the ground.
36:28At the end of a very long day, I learned that Gwargum, with respect to cleanup, can't rub itself off.
36:35You want me to get inside of the gigantic blender with a hose and clean it?
36:39We've got to get all the material out so we don't contaminate the next job.
36:43The shaft is very slippery.
36:45Your best bet is to straddle that shaft.
36:48Like this.
36:49You got it.
36:50And then you just kind of inch your way back towards the back.
36:52Over top of these razor sharp things here.
36:56Blades.
36:57Yeah.
37:01Yeah.
37:04Don't slip.
37:06Don't slip.
37:07The first blade pulls the whisker away from the face.
37:11The second blade pulls it further still.
37:13And the third blade cuts it flush.
37:16Do you see all those squares?
37:23I see many squares.
37:24It's like the Hollywood squares in here.
37:26You have to get every single one of them.
37:28Oh, crap.
37:29How you doing?
37:30Are you getting it all?
37:31No.
37:32It's like carving on here like some sort of brain matter.
37:35Hey, look at this.
37:36That's the Gwarg.
37:37Terrible job.
37:38I mean, you can't get it all.
37:39Can you?
37:40You have to.
37:41There you go.
37:42Alright.
37:43Yeah.
37:44Yeah.
37:45Yeah!
38:00Oh!
38:07Yeah.
38:08Yeah.
38:09Yeah, okay.
38:10You might have noticed that Doug Glover was with me every step of the way down there in
38:24the Gwargum holding tank.
38:26The truth is, on Dirty Jobs there's always somebody with a camera just a few feet from
38:30me.
38:31But what you're about to see just might be the epitome of Dirty Jobs' tight space cinematography.
38:37As never before in the history of this program, have so many full grown men followed me into
38:42such a tiny space to perform such a thankless, soul deadening, self-defeating act of Sisyphean
38:48drudgery.
38:49I call it a blending of misery and camaraderie, think of it as commisery.
38:58Welcome to the cool confines of a giant turbine deep in the bowels of the Rocky Reach Hydroelectric
39:03Dam in Wenatchee, Washington, otherwise known as Land of the Giants.
39:08All right, so this is the crew.
39:10It's Jeff and Jody and John and Dwayne and Vince.
39:13Dwayne is six foot three.
39:15Vince is six foot six.
39:17Feet first into the hole.
39:20It's freezing down here.
39:236'3 Dwayne and 6'6 Vince have to work in a space that's three and a half feet tall.
39:36That goes up, right?
39:40Am I going the...
39:41No, there's no way I'm going the wrong way.
39:43Am I going the wrong way, Dwayne?
39:44Yeah, it's going the wrong way.
39:46It's hard to work the shaft when the holes is tight.
39:49See how that does.
39:54Oh, that's what's up my ass.
39:56It's your butt.
39:58Dad, Doug.
40:00My life, I can't figure out what I'm sitting on and then it starts to move and I'm like,
40:03no!
40:04Is it coming out, Mike?
40:06Is it coming out, Mike?
40:07I got one of the nuts off.
40:12Uh-oh.
40:13Oh, man.
40:15I felt that on my foot, Mike.
40:17Well, is it any wonder you've got it halfway up my colon?
40:21That section loose, Mike.
40:23Okay.
40:24That's it.
40:25Vince?
40:26You're coming.
40:27You're coming, Mike.
40:28I must say this has far exceeded my expectations.
40:32So were your expectations high or low?
40:35I always keep my expectations low, but you actually brought them even lower with your weirdly
40:41understated way of just saying we're going to go down there and pop this thing off and
40:44then come back.
40:45We could blame it on the help we brought down in here with us.
40:49So this is the stuff we're replacing.
40:51I see it now.
40:53Oh, this is super comfortable.
40:56That's...
40:57Okay, that's good.
40:59This is the most tedious, time-consuming jack job I've seen in a while.
41:04Yep.
41:05Are we ready?
41:06Yep.
41:13We're spread too thin, Dwayne.
41:15Man.
41:16Can we start cussing?
41:17Can you guys edit out some cussing?
41:18You can cuss, yeah.
41:19I don't care anymore.
41:21That car didn't come out of here one way or another.
41:24We really don't have any choice.
41:26We're going to start cussing.
41:27Get in there and get in there.
41:28You got this high over by you guys.
41:31Yeah, well, your side's pulling it up.
41:34Oh, my God.
41:35Yeah, baby.
41:36All right, now that should be the last one.
41:38Now there's six in another lantern crank and six more rooms.
41:41Shut up, man.
41:45See what I mean?
41:47Commissory.
41:48The thing that happens when grown men bond through hard work.
41:52When adversity leads to bon ami.
41:55When drudgery is met head-on with laughter.
41:57When one fella accidentally farts on another fella's foot
42:00and is met with nothing but a sheepish grin or a high five.
42:05Commissory coming to a tight space near you.
42:08Thank you for watching, and stay lubricated, my friends.
42:15This business of keeping the show on the air,
42:17I'm no longer really sure if it's as important to me as it used to,
42:20but we're going through the motions, and if you could do the same, I'd be obliged.
42:23That means you go to discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs.
42:26You suggest something awful.
42:28I come out and I do it.
42:30My friends, like Doug here, no longer speak to me.
42:33Say something, Doug.
42:35See? He won't speak to me anymore.
42:37Discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs when you have a moment.
42:39I'd be grateful, and by grateful, I mean horrified,
42:42but these days the words are interchangeable.
42:45Not even one word from you. Nothing.
42:48That's enough.
42:51Here it comes.
42:52Can you reach it?
42:53No.
42:54How about now?
42:55Oh, come on.
42:56Reach it. Lean in.
42:57Come on.
42:59What the fuck?
43:03I used to do this with my younger brothers.
43:05Only I'd use food.
43:07You want your camera?
43:08You want it?
43:09Come on.
43:11Come on.
43:12Come on.
43:13Come on.
43:14Nene.
43:16Nene.
43:17Nene.
43:18Nene.
43:19.
43:20.