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Charles Madsen
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00:00My name's Mike Rope, and this is my job.
00:06I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty.
00:10Ah, dammit!
00:11Hard-working men and women...
00:13You're doing good, you're good.
00:14...to learn an honest living...
00:16Uh-oh.
00:17Oops!
00:18...doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life...
00:20God!
00:21...possible for the rest of us.
00:22Now, get ready...
00:25...to get dirty.
00:27Coming up on this presidential episode of Dirty Jobs...
00:32Timber!
00:34...we'll give you the real dirt behind White House politics.
00:37Jeez, this is disgusting!
00:39It's a bipartisan look at a few presidents of the past.
00:42Wow!
00:43Who were as at home in the muck as they were in the Oval Office.
00:46I don't think I've ever seen anything quite this bad.
00:48I'll share with you their sloppy stories.
00:50Fire in the hole!
00:52Along with a few of my own messy moments.
00:55Oh yeah, that's a rat.
00:57From Jefferson...
00:58There you go!
00:59...to Johnson.
01:00When's the last time you cleaned this?
01:01There's enough fascinating filth to fertilize the rose garden.
01:04You're doing okay.
01:05No, I'm not.
01:06As I salute our dirty presidents.
01:08You are very good at this.
01:10I know.
01:11Not my first day on a pig farm.
01:15Oh, God.
01:16My fellow Americans, relax.
01:33I'm not really in charge.
01:34Not that I ever have been.
01:36And this is not really a program about dirty politics.
01:38There's enough of that on the evening news.
01:40And in spite of our title, it's really not a show about dirty presidents either.
01:43It's really about those former presidents who I personally believe would have been huge fans of dirty jobs had they had the opportunity to actually see our show.
01:53Beginning with Calvin Coolidge, who came into power back in 1923 somewhat abruptly when his boss, Warren Harding, died.
02:01Fair to say, I think that Calvin Coolidge was an animal lover in a fairly big way.
02:07He had dogs and cats and lots of both.
02:09He also had a hippo.
02:10He also had a bear.
02:11He had a wallaby and a wombat.
02:14And he also had a raccoon named Rebecca, who was spotted somewhat frequently on his shoulder.
02:20Enough to make a fellow wonder what the Oval Office smelled like back in 1923.
02:24I wasn't around, but if I were to guess, I'd say it smelled a whole lot like Hope Bennett's place last time I was there.
02:30You bring the zoos to?
02:31Schools and birthday parties and festivals and libraries and Boy Scouts.
02:36The animals here are animal ambassadors.
02:37Their main job is to be trained to go out so people can learn more about the animals, see them up close,
02:41people that don't have a chance to go to a zoo or don't have a chance to see animals interact with people.
02:45What in the world is eating my banana?
02:47That's called a binturong.
02:48The generic name is called Bearcat.
02:49This one actually is popcorn.
02:51Popcorn the Bearcat.
02:52He's very gentle.
02:53He really is gentle.
02:54Although, he can't be gentle when he's dropping that big steamy load.
02:57My goodness.
02:58Popcorn food, thank you.
02:59That's a pig right there.
03:00That is Bonnie.
03:01Bonnie's a wonderful pig.
03:02Have you ever laid down with a pig?
03:04I've made some mistakes.
03:05Don't get me wrong.
03:06You're beautiful.
03:08That's the weirdest thing I've done all day.
03:10You are so freaking ugly.
03:13What is going on with your face?
03:16This business under the neck here just seems tumorous.
03:19What is its purpose?
03:21The purpose is to show that he is a mature, handsome turkey.
03:24You'll get them more.
03:25Attractivity is to the girls.
03:27Why is his name Popcorn?
03:28Because he smells like popcorn.
03:29Does he?
03:30Because from here he smells like something else.
03:34See?
03:35That's the weirdest thing ever.
03:36He smells exactly like popcorn.
03:38What?
03:39What?
03:40I'm not...
03:41She doesn't want to leave.
03:47So a female turkey looks at this and goes...
03:49Oh, it's beautiful.
03:50You piece of fowl.
03:51Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
03:53Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
03:54Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
03:56I really want to hear him gobble.
03:57There you go.
03:58There you go.
03:59You can kind of grab it with your hand.
04:02I know it's got poo on it because it's got poo on it.
04:03Yes, you didn't say the prehensile tail was soaked in his own poo.
04:08There you go.
04:09That's it.
04:10That's good.
04:11Yeah, get all the poo in my face if you can.
04:13There's a good bear cat.
04:15Now you've got to rub her belly and tell her it's okay.
04:17It's okay.
04:18She didn't get her own way.
04:19You know how kids are?
04:20Oh, no, you don't, Bonnie.
04:21We didn't take a whipping cushion.
04:23I'll tell you to sound like them.
04:25That was a turkey.
04:27I heard it.
04:31The first Thanksgiving dinner featuring a turkey was hosted by James Polk, our 11th
04:37president, and that was truly a momentous meal.
04:40We don't know much about the turkey in question.
04:42We can assume it was a good-sized bird, generous in frame, no doubt, and probably
04:47conceived in the time-honored traditional fashion of random breeding.
04:51However, President Polk, I can assure you times change, and that's no joke.
04:58It's like a laugh track.
05:00Guy walks into a bar.
05:02It's great.
05:03The Hulk and First Lady Sarah may have hosted the White House's first Thanksgiving dinner,
05:07but Thanksgiving itself wasn't made an official national holiday until 1863 by Abraham Lincoln.
05:13What's this?
05:14This is where I'm collecting the semen into.
05:16Why is that in your mouth?
05:17So it creates suction to get it into the jar.
05:20You're going to suck the semen out of the bird.
05:22That's correct.
05:23And it was Lincoln who set the date that's still observed, the last Thursday in November.
05:28Pull his tail back.
05:29Oh, dear.
05:30Squeeze his tail.
05:31Rub his tail.
05:32Why do you squeeze his bottom shut?
05:35I don't want any poop in the semen.
05:37We don't want any poop in the semen.
05:38No.
05:39Lincoln also began the tradition of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving.
05:43His son, Tad, had become attached to a turkey named Jack and asked Lincoln to spare the
05:47bird's life.
05:48See, your semen's going through this one, but you're creating a vacuum through this
05:51hose.
05:52They're connected separately.
05:53Oh, they're heavy.
05:54Yep, they're heavy.
05:58Come on, now.
05:59You've got to come up underneath, you know, really, you know.
06:02I am underneath.
06:03Look at that.
06:04I think it's filled with prostate.
06:06I got an idea.
06:07I squeeze, you suck.
06:09Oh, look at this.
06:10That's a disaster right already.
06:11Come on, baby.
06:12It just takes practice.
06:13I've been practicing for four decades.
06:16Sperm injection for the hens.
06:17These are the girls?
06:18These are the girls.
06:19How many are there?
06:20About 3,000.
06:21I don't think I have enough for 3,000.
06:22No.
06:23Go in there.
06:24A little sign in there.
06:25Look at that.
06:26Double juice only.
06:27The whole time.
06:28Ah!
06:29Sorry.
06:30You just shot your load.
06:31First time that's ever happened.
06:32to me.
06:33Ah, damn it.
06:34Ah, damn it.
06:59You got a little bit on your leg there.
07:05Now, I will not be calling you.
07:12Yup, got my own TV show.
07:17Consider the impact of President Polk's decision over 150 years ago
07:22to legitimize the turkey as the meal of choice on Thanksgiving.
07:26This little fella has a knife stuck straight through him,
07:29and I have a straw sucking the semen from his rectum.
07:32When we come back, how do you cope with impeachment?
07:34You get down and dirty with a rodent.
07:37And later...
07:39Santa Maria!
07:41Our former chief executives were great men,
07:43but they weren't always clean ones.
07:45Oh, jeez! Ow! Dreadful job.
07:48In this tribute to our dirty presence.
07:50Well, there's something you don't see every day.
07:53Time now for another president who likes it dirty.
07:57Abraham Lincoln was the dirtiest president of all.
08:00His jobs included butcher, plowboy, and wood splitter.
08:03And though he wasn't known for his sense of humor,
08:05he loved telling dirty jokes.
08:07Honest.
08:08Now back to other dirty jobs.
08:10If TiVo had been around in 1865, I'll bet you our 17th president, Andrew Johnson,
08:19would have recorded dirty jobs.
08:21He was a tireless proponent for the working man, especially the American farmer.
08:24But I have to tell you, he got off to a rough start during his vice presidential inauguration.
08:29During his address, he was apparently drunk and taken away before he could finish.
08:34And then after Lincoln was assassinated and he became president, the country was upside down and he got impeached.
08:40And then he got impeached again.
08:41And by the final year of his term, he was so depressed and so in need of a friend,
08:45all he could do was wander the hallways of the White House looking for a friendly face.
08:50And the only friendly face he could find was attached to a mouse.
08:54It was a family of mice and he'd leave milk out for them and flour.
08:59Kind of sad, really.
09:00But even sadder if you're a rodent in New Orleans.
09:03Nowadays, there's a war going on down there.
09:06And you don't want to be on the rat side.
09:08Well, the sun has officially set and we are officially here.
09:12The municipal auditorium has been gutted, but it is not empty.
09:16Do you know how bad the damage was in this building?
09:20Well, this portion of the building did get water.
09:24The water she's talking about was from Hurricane Katrina in 2005.
09:28Unfortunately, there's still a little bit of food products in some of these concession areas.
09:33Right.
09:34And that's what's sustaining these rodents.
09:35Oh, here we go.
09:36Is that blood?
09:37What is it?
09:38Soft drink syrup.
09:40Oh!
09:41So this...
09:42Okay.
09:43See how it's sticky?
09:44Oh, and look, the rat got in it.
09:46You can see his...
09:47Oh, the little footprints.
09:48His little feet.
09:49Where are the actual rats?
09:50The living ones.
09:54So what part of the building is this?
09:56Well, I think we're in one of the wings.
09:58It looks like a big open area, a meeting room of some sort.
10:01I mean, if there's ever a decent chance to see something out in the open,
10:04it would probably be here.
10:05It's all about a temperature setting, basically.
10:07So we really don't need any light at all.
10:09We're looking for a rat.
10:11There's Barsky.
10:12As you can see, he's bigger than your average rat.
10:15So we'll just scan the room and see what we can see.
10:18Let's see what we got.
10:20Oh, yeah.
10:22That's a rat.
10:23He's a good-sized one.
10:25What are we looking at here?
10:26Norway?
10:27It's a Norway rat.
10:28There he goes.
10:29He's coming towards you.
10:30Yeah, I see that.
10:31Woo!
10:32Get over there, you bad rat.
10:34Well, what do you want to do?
10:36I mean, let's not split hairs.
10:37He's got to die.
10:38Is the humane thing to do just to put out one of those traps?
10:41Well, that's its tail right there, Claudia,
10:43and I can see his little butt.
10:45There's two and one there.
10:49Add some cashews.
10:50That's plenty.
10:55We'll come back here in a couple of days.
10:57And that'll be a sticky rat.
10:59I think that'll be it.
11:01Nice meeting you, Mr. Rat.
11:03It's hard to believe a president of these United States could become so lonesome
11:08that he was reduced to no one to talk to but a bunch of mice.
11:12Our 31st president could relate, Herbert Hoover.
11:15He spent a lot of time alone in cavernous places.
11:18He was a miner and an engineer long before he became president.
11:23And not long after he was sworn in and the stock market crashed,
11:26he probably wished he was underground again.
11:28Had I been around in that particular point in time,
11:31I could have recommended a place I know in Hutchinson, Kansas,
11:34where the miners are friendly, readily available, and worth their salts.
11:38Good grief, Lewis. What is it?
11:40Well, it's a wall of salt here, about 40 foot wide and 11 foot tall.
11:45This is a double boom joy drill.
11:47A double boom joy drill?
11:48We're going to be drilling holes, 26 holes in this face here.
11:511, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 24 different levers.
11:56I just have to pause for a moment and point out Troy standing there, hoping and praying,
12:01and I'm going to hit the right lever.
12:03I think this is the right lever.
12:05Herbert Hoover worked as a mining engineer in Australia and China
12:09from 1897 until the outbreak of World War I in 1914.
12:13His university lectures on mining were published
12:16and became a standard textbook on the subject.
12:19Assault!
12:20Time now to add the Ampho to the blasting cap already in the hole.
12:26Keep going.
12:27I'm sure I saw that stuff lying out there. It looked bad.
12:32Stand to the side a little bit.
12:37That way you can also pull the knots out or kinks or anything.
12:43Okay, you're plugged up.
12:44Oh, jeez!
12:50Tell me again how this isn't bad for me, Bruce.
12:52Fertilizer grows thing.
12:55Like tumors?
13:00We decide to place two cameras near the blast site.
13:03We've got about $10,000 worth of cameras behind $10 worth of plexiglass,
13:09all safely surrounded by a pile of random salt rocks.
13:1426 holes, all filled with how much explosive, Bruce, all together?
13:17About 325 pounds of Ampho.
13:19This is the fuse. This is going to burn for...
13:224 minutes and 45 seconds.
13:24Pull this out.
13:25Pull that out.
13:26Yell, fire in the hole.
13:28Fire in the hole!
13:324 minutes and 45 seconds.
13:33I'm just going to say one quick goodbye to the camera.
13:36Goodbye.
13:37Good luck.
13:38Everybody ready?
13:39Oh, yeah, we're ready.
13:40So long, Dave. I'll miss you.
13:41Bye-bye.
13:44Is it really going to be loud?
13:45Yeah, it's going to be real loud.
13:46Maybe we ought to move back a little farther.
13:48It feels like it's been at least two minutes, but I can't concentrate
13:51because the sight of Dave running like this is so distracting.
13:53Yeah, that's good.
13:54You think it's good?
13:55All right.
13:594-425.
14:014-30.
14:02Look-a-look-a!
14:04Santa Maria!
14:05Uh-oh.
14:06Oh, man.
14:07Guys, the plexiglass is completely mangled.
14:08But the lens of the camera!
14:09You're a lucky man.
14:10Look at this.
14:11Obviously, something hit that thing full steam.
14:13A $10 piece of plexiglass saved $10,000 worth of video equipment.
14:17So I guess maybe we can shoot another show sometime.
14:19Hoover spent his entire presidency trying to drag the country out of the dark of the Great Depression.
14:25It was a tough road and he had some bad cards, but he played them as best he could.
14:28And on the positive side, years later, he was eventually inducted into the Mining Hall of Fame.
14:30And then he went on to write the classic bestseller, Fishing for Fun, and to Wash Your Soul.
14:33I don't know what that means, but it's on my list to read.
14:34For sure.
14:35When we come back, which president promised to hold a barbecue on the ranch that he said the one who got a barbecue on the street?
14:38The best friend of the Great Depression.
14:39Yeah, the best friend of the country, the best friend of the country, was the best friend of the United States.
14:43It was a tough road, and he had some bad cards, but he played them as best he could.
14:44And on the positive side, years later, he was eventually inducted into the Mining Hall of Fame.
14:47And then he went on to write the classic bestseller, Fishing for Fun, and to Wash Your Soul.
14:52I don't know what that means, but it's on my list to read.
14:55For sure.
14:56For sure.
14:56When we come back, which president promised to hold a barbecue on the roof of the White House
15:00and then put his weenie where his mouth was?
15:05And later.
15:05What about all the way back there?
15:07His name.
15:08No.
15:08As Harry Truman said, the buck stops here.
15:11Uh-oh.
15:12Should we play me fire?
15:13But the muck just keeps on coming.
15:15I wasn't good, was it?
15:16As I honor our dirty presidents.
15:18Bad job.
15:19Bad job.
15:26Well, here's a room that might look familiar to some of you.
15:29This is the official press room where various members of our esteemed media gather to ask
15:35insightful and probing questions of our various leaders who assume a position that may also
15:40look familiar to some of you.
15:42Hear from this podium.
15:44Many a momentous announcement has been decreed.
15:48When JFK was shot back in 1963, it was LBJ who would have otherwise come to this very spot
15:55to break the news to the country.
15:57He was otherwise engaged on that particular day, though, at home in Texas doing what he
16:01loved to do, barbecue.
16:03The man loved to cook out.
16:05He lived for it.
16:06In fact, when he moved to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, he brought his barbecue with him and
16:11he installed it on the roof of the White House where he and Lady Bird would entertain
16:16close friends and family with intimate cookouts from time to time as well as elaborate state
16:20dinners.
16:21It's true.
16:22You have to love a president who cooks his own meat.
16:25The question is, will he clean his own pits?
16:30How do you know it's the best barbecue in Georgia?
16:33Well, it's, like I said, that's mostly customer proclaimed.
16:37Oh, man, that smells delicious.
16:39Unfortunately for me, the closest I'll get to tasting the best barbecue in Georgia, now
16:44what?
16:45We get to clean it.
16:45is the smoker it sits in.
16:47When's the last time you cleaned this?
16:49It's actually a week overdue.
16:52Good.
16:57The smoker has cooled down to a brisk 98 degrees.
17:00How clean does it need to be?
17:02The stainless steel that's on the outside is the same that's on the inside.
17:07Charred remnants and grease cover every inch of this 8 by 10 foot space.
17:11I'm hoping I don't become the other white meat.
17:20Bad job.
17:21Bad job.
17:23What about all the way back there?
17:25It's next.
17:26No.
17:26If too much soot builds up on the blades here, the speed that will cause, like, a metal
17:40fatigue, you know, like when you bend a credit card over and over to finally snap.
17:43Same thing happened with the blades.
17:45That's what Bobby tells me anyway, which is land back here with this thing.
17:48Dreadful.
17:59Dreadful job.
18:01Look, I mean, this is a B minus, maybe even a B.
18:06We're C minus, C plus on a good day type of people.
18:10I mean, it's your shop, so I hate to say we're done, but I'm not going to do anymore.
18:15LBJ's recipe for barbecue sauce is available online right now, and from what I'm told,
18:19it's delicious, but here's a question.
18:21If you want to serve wine at your barbecue, which type should you go with?
18:25That query is best directed toward Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States of
18:30America, had an undisputed taste for the noble rot.
18:33He grew his own grapes at Monticello.
18:35He made his own wine.
18:36While president, he installed a wine cellar in the White House.
18:40Ultimately, though, Jefferson wasn't pleased.
18:42The wine he was making at Monticello just couldn't compare to the French version that
18:46his palate had become accustomed to.
18:49Maybe he was storing it in the wrong container.
18:53Cooper is a barrel maker.
18:55A man that makes and repairs barrels.
18:56I see a lot of open flames.
18:58I see a lot of old-style equipment.
19:00I see a lot of guys with hammers pounding things in the submission.
19:04Everything's all very physical and all done by Hein.
19:06And these go around the side?
19:10You don't want too many thin ones.
19:12You don't want too many broad ones.
19:18How many splinters have you had over the years?
19:20You don't want it at all.
19:21You're right, I don't.
19:23Eh, we got a cable.
19:24The cable cinches the boards together to start shaping a barrel.
19:27It would be very bad to get your fingers under that cable.
19:32There you go.
19:38Now, it's supposed to be level.
19:41Okay.
19:45There's a lot of violence that goes into a barrel.
19:50See, I'm just the kind of guy that would take his thumb off.
19:52It's not advisable.
19:54No.
19:54No.
19:57We're ready for stave two.
20:06One hoop on.
20:09Very hard.
20:11Violent.
20:12Now we need to heat it and bend it.
20:16This is obviously the heating part.
20:19We add moisture to help make the barrel staves a plant.
20:23Bending involves a cable, a winch.
20:25Left over, right, right over, left.
20:30Now we're engaged.
20:31The fire and moisture help the cable do its work.
20:35When the barrel finally looks like, well, a barrel, it's time for toast.
20:41A toasting, actually.
20:43Oh, yeah.
20:44Let's make some toast.
20:45We're caramelizing the natural sugars of the wood, which helps impart flavors to the wine.
20:55Take the lid off.
20:56Whatever.
20:56Take the lid off.
20:57Uh-oh.
20:57I think we're about done, mate.
21:04Should we be playing with fire?
21:08Look at that.
21:09How many presidents can you drink a toast to with a glass of their very own wine?
21:14Here's to you, Thomas Jefferson.
21:16And when we come back, he led the North to victory.
21:20But when it came to working in a tannery, he did the same thing I did.
21:24He ran screaming.
21:26Then.
21:27Ten ball!
21:29George Washington might have chopped down a cherry tree, but I'm going for bigger.
21:32Because I have four-legged help.
21:34Holy smokes!
21:35And later.
21:39I cannot tell a lie.
21:41There's nothing to fear but filth itself.
21:45With our dirty presidents.
21:46Yeah, there's so many fish in there, it's kind of hard to miss.
21:49How did I get one?
21:53Stay tuned after the break for another moment of Dirty Presidents.
21:56Holy smokes!
21:58Time now for another president who likes it dirty.
22:01As a young structural engineer, Herbert Hoover cleaned up mining operations.
22:04Too bad he had a hard time cleaning up the country's worst financial mess in history, the Great Depression.
22:10Oh.
22:10Now back to other Dirty Jobs.
22:17We're looking back at some of our favorite dirty presidents.
22:20We're doing it right here in Simi Valley, California, specifically at the Reagan Library.
22:25More specifically, in the War Room, where you can come and engage in a rousing game of Invade Grenada.
22:31It's true.
22:32Kids come here and visit all the time and role play.
22:36And in general, have a pretty good time being Major Alisi or Major General Biggs.
22:42I don't see Ulysses S. Grant's name anywhere.
22:45That was a different war.
22:46But he was a heck of a general.
22:48Lincoln summed Grant up very nicely when he said,
22:51I like him, I like him, he fights.
22:54Lincoln was desperate to find a general who would engage the enemy at that point in the Civil War.
22:59And Grant was happy to do so.
23:01Unfortunately, his earlier pursuits outside of the military were not exactly as successful.
23:06He was being groomed from a very young kid to take over the family business,
23:10which unfortunately was a tannery.
23:13Grant hated every single thing about it.
23:16And in fact, the sight of blood repulsed Ulysses S. Grant so much that he couldn't eat a steak
23:22unless it was charred all the way through.
23:24So, President Grant, I feel your pain.
23:33You do nice work.
23:35The reason it's going through this process is this is flesh.
23:38Yeah.
23:39And obviously, so the flesh and the hair and the blood, that's all got to come out of this.
23:44Right.
23:45Think of a big washing machine.
23:47But instead of clothes, it's flesh.
23:50And instead of detergent, it's toxic chemicals.
23:52See what's behind door number.
23:54One.
23:55And instead of lint, God, that's liquid hair.
24:00Hair soup.
24:03All right, so we've got the hair off.
24:05Right.
24:05But it's this side now that's obviously the problem.
24:08Oh.
24:09The deflesher?
24:11Yes, the flushing machine.
24:21Flip it around.
24:23Repeat.
24:24Think of it like you were throwing a pizza pie.
24:39That wasn't good, was it?
24:41Well, it's a start.
24:42Last dirty job.
24:52My God.
24:56This is the stuff that was on the back of the deer hide?
24:59Yeah.
25:00That's the flesh and the fat.
25:01Well, there's something you don't see every day.
25:12Fat from 70 deers.
25:15Quivering in a wheelbarrow.
25:17I don't think I've ever seen anything quite this bad.
25:20Where would young Ulysses hide from those quivering piles of gelatinous flesh?
25:25Normally in the family barn, where he could enjoy the company of other animals, not yet dead.
25:31Horses in particular.
25:32Horses in particular.
25:33Ulysses and horses got along famously.
25:36In fact, he could communicate with horses in a way that few others could even come close to.
25:41Which might be the reason why he went on to become one of the most famous horseback generals in the history of the United States Army.
25:48Horses just listen to the guy.
25:51Which begs the question, what about mules?
25:57Timber!
26:02Cow.
26:11This line here connects to his bit here.
26:16All right, now, if you pull this way, their heads go left.
26:21So, this is your haul line.
26:24Haul.
26:25Haul.
26:26And this is your yee.
26:28Yee.
26:29Yee means right.
26:30And haul means left.
26:32Is that where yee-haw comes from?
26:33That's right.
26:35And when you won't stop them, just say, whoa.
26:38But right now, they're moving well.
26:41Yee.
26:44Haul.
26:45Haul.
26:46Turn all the way around.
26:47Now, you go with them.
26:48Be scooting around.
26:49All right, now, whoa.
26:50Whoa, whoa.
26:50All right, she's ready to go.
26:51See her pawing?
26:52She's ready to go.
26:53All right.
26:53Really?
26:54This is going to happen fast?
26:54This is going to happen.
26:55You ready?
26:56Yep.
26:56Go on.
26:57Wow.
26:58Holy smokes.
26:59Now, tell them a hoe if you want them to stop.
27:00Roger.
27:01Mule logging is definitely more friendly to the forest and the land than pulling out giant trees with big machines.
27:10All right, nills.
27:12All right, come on back, Jay.
27:14Back on up.
27:15Work his line.
27:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
27:17Hang on, everybody.
27:17Here we go.
27:19Haul.
27:20Haul, Jack.
27:21Oh, jeez.
27:22That's bad.
27:23Ho, ho.
27:23Bad driving.
27:24That was bad driving.
27:25That's my fault, Jack.
27:26Just a little bit, little bit, little bit.
27:29All right.
27:29There you go.
27:30Lambs and all.
27:31You're taking the trees.
27:32Yee-haw.
27:36No one can remember a time when a man's destiny was linked to the relationship he had with his horse.
27:46Washington, Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant.
27:48All were master horsemen.
27:50All were famous generals.
27:52All became presidents of the United States.
27:55And they're all on money.
27:56Coincidence?
27:58I don't think so.
27:59When we come back, something is fishy in the Oval Office.
28:04Then, Andrew Jackson had a parrot with a potty mouth.
28:07That's just creeping me out the way she's watching me do this.
28:10The dirty part of the birds in Alaska, though.
28:12Did I forget to put the thing in his butt?
28:14Pretty much where you'd expect.
28:15Too late now.
28:16And later, we got pigs out.
28:18They say cleaning up Washington is tough.
28:21Yeah, we'll try grooming a pig.
28:22Does it have to be pigs?
28:23What about a school play?
28:25What about some sports?
28:26Stay tuned after the break for another moment of Dirty Presidents.
28:33Time now for another president who likes it dirty.
28:38Lyndon Johnson was president for six years.
28:41In days gone by, LBJ could be found on the side of the road getting his hands dirty, helping build our nation's highways.
28:48Now, back to other dirty jobs.
28:54What can I tell you about our first president?
28:56That you don't already know.
28:59It's true.
29:00George Washington was extraordinarily honest.
29:03But that business about the cherry tree?
29:05Total fiction.
29:06And those wooden false teeth?
29:08That was bunk.
29:09And that rumor of syphilis?
29:12Unfounded.
29:13The father of our country was also the father of a fishery.
29:16That much, I can assure you of.
29:18And a pretty successful one.
29:19In fact, George Washington caught millions of herring and shad and bass right out of the Potomac River.
29:25Now, if he were around today, he wouldn't have to go to all the trouble.
29:28He could just move to California and find all the fish he needed right in the middle of the desert.
29:33Striped bass are in the tank?
29:34Yeah, they're in this tank.
29:35There's about 28,000 fish.
29:37They're about a quarter pound.
29:38We're going to go ahead and take out about 12 baskets.
29:41Then we're going to take them over to the vac shack.
29:43They'll vaccinate it.
29:45You've put some thought into my day, haven't you?
29:48Unlike the 1700s, when George Washington's herring catch numbered in the millions, today, fish are less abundant.
29:54And fish farms, like this one, help reduce our dependence on the ocean's resources.
29:58Just flex your fingers, too.
30:00They'll catch you, too, with the spines.
30:01Is that the spine or the teeth?
30:02Yeah, no, that's the spine.
30:03They don't bite.
30:04They don't have teeth.
30:04Oh.
30:05Now, do we need to move around?
30:06I guess not.
30:07The fish are doing the moving.
30:08Yeah, there's so many fish in there, it's kind of hard to miss.
30:10We'll see about that.
30:14Ah, you caught one.
30:16How did I get one?
30:18Ow.
30:19Ah.
30:19Look at that.
30:32We're getting good.
30:33Oh, I think I got it down.
30:34Yeah.
30:35Oh, yeah.
30:37After enough fish have been scooped up, it's off to the vac shack.
30:45Watch that door, okay?
30:46I'll keep an eye on it.
30:47We're going fishing in the desert.
30:49This is where it all happens.
30:50Right.
30:51Yeah, this is the vaccinator.
30:52The vaccinator right there.
30:54Okay.
30:55Nobody really enjoys getting poked with needles, not even fish.
30:59So, anesthesia is placed into the bath to help them sleep for a few minutes.
31:04It's like they all got slipped a mickey at the same time.
31:07George Washington didn't have to worry about vaccinating his fish
31:10because they were harvested from a river source.
31:13These striped bass need to be vaccinated because if one gets sick,
31:17could infect the rest of the fish in the tank.
31:20I actually prefer to look at this whole experience as like a ride at an amusement park.
31:25You know, you wait in line.
31:27You get anesthetized, which is kind of the weird part, I suppose.
31:30But then you get thrown in that cool little slide.
31:33You come out of this little area right up here.
31:36And you pick up speed, and you go faster and faster, and you're in a dark tunnel.
31:39And it's very exciting, and all your buddies are, well, they're not really screaming
31:44because, you know, they've been knocked unconscious.
31:47And then there you go.
31:48You just fall out the end in a coma.
31:49It's hard to say whether Washington would have proved of the technological breakthroughs
31:54that allow us today to find fish in the desert.
31:57On the one hand, he was a traditionalist who knew that hard work was its own reward.
32:01But on the other hand, he was a businessman who would probably have appreciated
32:05any breakthrough that would further his interest.
32:07So who knows?
32:08I can tell you that he would not have approved of Pole.
32:12Pole was a parrot, the personal parrot, in fact, of our seventh president, Andrew Jackson.
32:18This is a facsimile of Pole.
32:20That is a facsimile of Andrew Jackson.
32:22Both are dead now, but here's the point.
32:25Andrew Jackson had a potty mouth.
32:27It's true.
32:27By all accounts, the man loved to swear.
32:29He loved it so much, he mastered cussing in two different languages, English and Spanish.
32:34And he did it so often that Pole here picked up on his bad habits.
32:38Eventually, when President Jackson died, Pole attended the funeral,
32:42right up to the point where he started swearing in two languages,
32:45at which point he was unceremoniously removed.
32:49What would cause a fowl to use such foul language?
32:53I don't know, but I'm fairly certain.
32:55I remember some geese in Alaska who might have an opinion.
32:58What we'll do, Mike, is try to, you know, just kind of lay that over him like that.
33:04Scoop right up.
33:04And you got him like that.
33:06And when you handle the birds, hold them by the backs of the wings like this.
33:11And that won't hurt him at all.
33:12There you go.
33:12You should be grabbing them behind the birds.
33:13Yeah, just grab them up high like this.
33:15Uh-huh.
33:15Then it won't strain their muscles and their wings.
33:17Okay.
33:17And just kind of keep them close to your body so he doesn't flop around.
33:20All right.
33:20There you go.
33:21The first step, Mike, is to determine whether or not the bird is a male or a female.
33:25Sure.
33:26Okay.
33:26So the way we do that is we fold their tail back and we check their butthole, essentially.
33:33You want to turn it inside out is what I'm doing.
33:35This one's a female.
33:36The reason I can tell that is because there's no...
33:39A conspicuous absence of a penis.
33:41Correct.
33:41Right.
33:42The next step is I'm going to hold this bird for Deb and she's going to swab it.
33:46Adding insult to injury.
33:47Look at the size of that swab.
33:48Is that necessary?
33:49I mean, it's half the length of the bird.
33:51Oh, dear.
33:52For easy handling.
33:53That's not easy.
33:53And then the way we do it is we stick it in and you want to go around the outside of
33:58the cloaca to get any cells.
34:01After the birds are swabbed, the samples taken here are shipped frozen in liquid nitrogen
34:05to the National Wildlife Health Center in Wisconsin.
34:08There, they'll run some tests to check for any signs of avian flu.
34:13Put your hands in between its legs.
34:15Huh?
34:16And put your hands, slide your hands, one along this side, one along the other side of the
34:20leg.
34:20Well, that's just creeping me out the way she's watching me do this.
34:24Oh.
34:25Oh, yes.
34:28Ow, ow, ow.
34:31Ow.
34:34Okay, let's restart.
34:37You're doing okay.
34:38No, I'm not.
34:39Here.
34:39I'm not.
34:40Let's reset the set here.
34:41All right.
34:41So far, there's been no detection of the highly pathogenic H5N1 virus in Alaska.
34:48Bend him over.
34:50There you go, right there.
34:51Just like that.
34:52Oh, man, it really is all about bending the tail.
34:56It's almost as though he doesn't want this.
34:59If there was, every effort would be made to protect poultry farms in contact with these
35:04wild birds.
35:05Oh, no, thank you.
35:07Got him.
35:07Yeah, just take her.
35:08She's already here.
35:09Yeah, I think she's ready to go.
35:10There you go.
35:11Did I forget to put the thing in this, bud?
35:14Too late now.
35:15Well, I hope that's not the one with the flu.
35:20First president, in fact, to survive?
35:22An assassination attempt.
35:24A lunatic named Richard Lawrence charged President Jackson outside of the Capitol, pulled two
35:29pistols.
35:30Neither one went off.
35:31With his cane, he nearly beat the assassin to death.
35:34That's the kind of president Andrew Jackson was.
35:37If he wants to use a four-letter word here and there, that's okay in my book.
35:41As for the parent, jury's still out.
35:44When we come back, who was the first president to enjoy indoor plumbing in the White House?
35:49I'll give you a hint.
35:51It was John Quincy Adams.
35:52Ah, f**k, f**k.
35:54Will you shut your f**k out?
35:56Then, that's an S to alligator eggs.
35:58S to Rio dee.
35:59When Thomas Jefferson negotiated the Louisiana Purchase.
36:02Ow, what the heck is that?
36:04That's Red Ant.
36:04Oh, man.
36:05He may have gotten more than he bargained for.
36:07I got ants in the pants.
36:08Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
36:10And later.
36:11Close the door, for God's sakes.
36:12I've been here five minutes and already we're off the rails.
36:15Since when is shaving a swine any job for a commander-in-chief?
36:18When they're one of our dirty presidents.
36:20Ah, I know what it is.
36:22You got a rag around here?
36:29Without the support of the Marquis de Lafayette, it's entirely possible that the United States of America would still be under British rule.
36:36And this program would be called Dirty Kings.
36:40Lafayette's contribution to the Revolutionary War was huge.
36:44So much so that when he came back to visit the United States to help celebrate our 50th year anniversary, he was showered with gifts.
36:53So many, in fact, that Congress had to commission him a warship to get all of his booty back to France.
36:58But Lafayette didn't take all of his gifts.
37:00No, he was a very generous Frenchman and left one of them behind, a six-foot-long alligator.
37:07I don't know what the name of the alligator was, but I can tell you that it spent most of its life in the bathtub of John Quincy Adams.
37:16I can't even imagine the problems it caused for the staff.
37:20I can only hope they didn't have to collect its eggs.
37:22John Quincy Adams was the sixth president of the United States and the son of John Adams, the second president, and one of America's founding fathers.
37:30As for the Marquis, his legacy includes over 30 U.S. cities and towns in 26 states named Lafayette, Fayette, or Fayetteville in his honor.
37:43That's a nest of alligator eggs.
37:45That's the real deal.
37:47There she is.
37:48Who?
37:48The eggs.
37:50Oh, ow!
37:50What the heck is that?
37:51That's red ants.
37:52Watch your feet, man.
37:54The whole thing's just swarming with them.
37:56Ah!
37:57Damn!
37:58Come on, man!
37:59A few little red ants doesn't hurt.
38:00Oh, actually, I can tell you that they do.
38:06This just doesn't appear to be any place at all.
38:09Come on, city boy.
38:10Your mama's gonna laugh at you.
38:12That's a bad spot.
38:14So you want to walk around this side.
38:15There you go.
38:16Walk around the nest and open it from this side.
38:19God!
38:20Yes!
38:20Yeah, I'm careful, all right?
38:27It's always nice to come back down to the bayou, Jerry.
38:34That's what I'm talking about.
38:36Ah!
38:37You only filmed that when I sunk in that mud, did you?
38:47She looks angry.
38:49She will be.
38:50Here she comes.
38:51Where's the nest?
38:52The nest is in here.
38:53Well, I think we've succeeded in pissing it off.
39:02God, I'm going to add some pants.
39:15Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
39:19Dammit.
39:22God, crap.
39:23if you're wondering whatever became of that alligator in john quincy adams bathtub don't
39:34ask me i've looked into it i've checked around there's not a shred of a record on it but if you
39:40have a pig related query fire away or better yet direct your questions to one harry s truman
39:47our 33rd president is one of my all-time favorites harry truman was a simple man he was a farmer long
39:54before he was a politician and he certainly understood the value of a hard day's work and he
39:59said one of my all-time favorite things he said and i quote a man should not be allowed to be
40:06president who doesn't understand hogs or hasn't spent time around a manure pile is that beautiful
40:14or what if i could just add my own two cents whether you plan to run for office or not if you
40:20have the opportunity to shave a pig with two high school girls do it have you shaved a pig before
40:29no
40:29i'm learning as we go and we're gonna need to hold it down
40:36close the door for god's sake
40:38close the door
40:39no no no no no
40:41okay
40:43okay
40:45watch watch
40:46okay
40:47get the
40:48get the thing
40:49okay do you have the words
40:50no
40:51oh they're both out we got pigs out i've been here five minutes and already we're off the rails
40:56nah you stay here
40:57are we ready
40:58yeah yeah yeah
40:59there you go
41:01all right
41:10maybe food would be a better deal
41:11maybe we feed them a little bit
41:12okay
41:13suey suey pig pig pig
41:15ah
41:16that's
41:17i know what it is
41:18you got a rag around here
41:22you're doing good
41:23you're good
41:24thanks
41:25what about a school play
41:26what about you know
41:27yeah
41:28some sports
41:29does it have to be pigs
41:34hi
41:35hi
41:36oh you're making me fall
41:38you are very good at this
41:39i know
41:40not my first day on a pig farm
41:43well there seems to be far less hair on it now than there was in the beginning
41:50well that's kind of the point isn't it colleen
41:52yes but i'm very impressed
41:54so it comes down to this
41:57if you want to be the leader of the free world you have to pay your dues
42:01and for the most part that means you have to have a dirty job
42:04that's what we found out when we started researching this special
42:07just about every president that we looked at had had a dirty job
42:11and depending on how you define dirty jobs those few who didn't arguably get one the minute they take the oath of office
42:19depending of course on what your definition of dirty jobs is
42:24so with that in mind i want to thank all of our past presidents regardless of party affiliations for making this program possible
42:30i do believe in giving credit where credit is due so i'd be remiss if i didn't thank our gentle viewers as well for your constant suggestions over the years
42:38discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs if you have an idea for another dirty jobs we'd love to hear about it sooner than later
42:46and as long as i'm thanking people i want to do something i should do a lot more i want to thank our intern especially this one right here
42:54melina and barges how are you i'm good how are you i'm great this woman works literally round the clock
43:01how long did it take you to put this whole thing together for us about two weeks two weeks she gets nothing for it except
43:08would you call it a series of memories that no one can ever take from you yeah and now you're an intern in the oval office
43:15did you ever think your internship would take you this far no pretty exciting oval office intern
43:22it's exciting is it yeah good should i answer that