- hoy
CONTROL has discovered that a writer of children's books named Mimsi Sage strongly resembles the deceased wife of a man named Kinsey Krispin (Cesar Romero) with a list of KAOS informers that CONTROL would very much like to have. Max trains Mimsi to pretend to be the deceased wife; no easy task, as this requires the mousy writer to act like the jet-setting Mrs. Amanda Krispin. (Working title: "Smart's Waterloo".)
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TVTranscripción
00:00oh so it's you bo decker smart you're not supposed to say oh so it's you bo decker
00:21first the password right a wet duck only flies at midnight the night is the devil's playground
00:29when the swallows come back to compobello they'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of dover okay smart
00:38oh so it's you bo decker no no you're always getting me and bo decker mixed up i'm rosencrantz
00:44oh so it's you rosencrantz no you're supposed to use my code name on this case what's your code
00:51name bo decker i have them hey yes i have them but they're for your eyes alone they're top secret
00:57here are your sealed orders the envelope wasn't sealed well my orders were that the envelope
01:03wasn't to be sealed i see your orders that's impossible why because my orders are sealed
01:10this is an odd assignment we're to break into this mansion and take a picture of a portrait
01:18hanging in the library of course where else would they hide a painting except behind a wall safe
01:26let's open it no there's not enough light i better use super satchel
01:31that's terrific what did you call that super satchel i'll have to order one from control no
01:42don't get it from control they'll rob you blind what do i do then you better get it from a discount
01:47scientist
01:48nope don't do that you need gloves i have gloves no not those kind of gloves fingerprint gloves
01:59these are the fingerprints of kessinger a chaos agent anything we do he'll be blamed for
02:15i can't hear the tumblers clicking i'll try
02:26no don't do that you'll leave an ear print here hold this
02:34kessinger's ear
02:39she's beautiful who is she amanda crispin oh yeah is a strange wife she left him because she was
03:03unhappy and went to pittsburgh she couldn't have been that unhappy
03:07and she took off for parts unknown
03:09someone's coming i gotta take a picture
03:13you boost me up then i'll pull you over
03:29good idea
03:30i better get a stronger grip good idea
03:35my grip is slipping i better spit on my hands
03:43go right ahead
03:45i'll boost you up then you pull me over
03:52good idea
04:00okay perfect except for one thing what next time that way
04:14hurry
04:20one of us can make it
04:30you go you go you go no okay i'll go you stay and i salute you no there's no time
04:37come on hurry
04:38nine
04:39someone's coming
04:50boom
04:55thanks
05:01Bo Decker, I salute you.
05:31I salute you.
06:01Bo Decker, I salute you.
06:31I wanted you to take that picture last night to compare with this one.
06:39But Chief, if you already had a photograph of Amanda Crispin, why did you need another?
06:43Those two pictures are not of the same girl.
06:45Oh, you're kidding.
06:49That is Amanda Crispin.
06:50That is Mimsy Sage.
06:52But the resemblance is fantastic.
06:54Except for the glasses.
06:56It's our plan to have Miss Sage impersonate Amanda Crispin.
06:59Of course, she'll have to be trained.
07:00She's not an agent.
07:01What does she do?
07:02We don't have much honor.
07:03We know that she writes children's books.
07:05She wrote The Tiger That Couldn't, The Elephant That Wouldn't, and The Pussy That Would Like To.
07:09Well, do you think we can get her to cooperate with us, Chief?
07:13I don't know.
07:14I think she'll have to be talked into being a spy.
07:15Yes.
07:16Well, I'm willing to take a fling at it, Chief.
07:18You start tomorrow.
07:19Couldn't I start this afternoon?
07:21Thanks.
07:21I want you to read all of her books.
07:23Get to know everything you can about her.
07:25Oh, incidentally, we have information that Grubnik of Chaos knows about Miss Sage.
07:29He may be after her, too.
07:30Grubnik, the spoiler?
07:32But I thought Grubnik was with Thrush.
07:34Yes.
07:35Well, he was traded just before the deadline for a rookie killer and two minor league muggers.
07:39Would you like me to go with you, Max?
07:41No, no, no, no.
07:42I'll be perfectly all right, 99.
07:44I won't.
07:54Watch your head on that thing, 99.
07:56Right.
07:59Hello.
08:13Hello.
08:15I'm Maxwell Smart.
08:16I'm a great admirer of your books.
08:18Oh, that's nice.
08:20I've read everything that you've written.
08:21From The Clock That Lost Its Talk to Happy Hippo Takes a Trip.
08:25You read The Clock That Lost Its Talk?
08:27Hardly anybody read that.
08:29Oh, I read it.
08:30I remember it well.
08:32Tick and Tock lived in a clock.
08:34And all day long, the clock would go tick-tock, tick-tock.
08:39Then one day, Tick and Tock had a fight.
08:42And Tick wouldn't talk to Tock, and Tock wouldn't talk to Tick.
08:45So Tick ran away.
08:46And then all the clock could do was go tock, tock, tock.
08:51You did read it.
08:52Yes.
08:52I couldn't put it down.
08:54I was up all night with it.
08:55Well, it's only 12 pages.
08:57Yeah, 12 pages.
08:58Yes.
08:58Well, there's some very small print there.
09:00I reread it many times.
09:03Well, would you like for me to autograph a book for you, Mr. Smart?
09:07How about the guest book in my apartment?
09:13What are you doing for dinner tonight?
09:15I'm eating.
09:18Yes.
09:19Well, couldn't we eat together?
09:21Oh, I'm sorry.
09:22I can't.
09:23I have to watch a mouse tonight.
09:26A mouse?
09:28Yes.
09:28You see, I do my own illustrating, and I have to study the mouse so I can draw it for my
09:34new book, Seymour the Psychedelic Mouse.
09:37Seymour the Psychedelic Mouse.
09:39Yes.
09:40Well, couldn't you do that tomorrow night?
09:42Oh, no.
09:43I rented the mouse for tonight.
09:46Miss Sage, I'm with the government.
09:48We need your help.
09:50The government?
09:52Well, I certainly want to help the government.
09:55That's our government, isn't it?
09:58Yes.
09:58Yes, that's our government.
10:00I'm with the control agency.
10:04You're a spy!
10:06You're a spy!
10:07You're a spy, and you want me to help you?
10:09A spy?
10:10You don't understand.
10:11You see, you're putting me out of business.
10:13If everybody knows that I'm a spy, then I'm no longer a spy.
10:17Oh, I'm sorry.
10:19What do you want from me?
10:20The information?
10:21We need your help.
10:22It's vital.
10:24You want me to be a spy?
10:25No, I can't, uh...
10:29I can't be a spy.
10:30I...
10:31Spies, uh...
10:33They...
10:34Slink when they walk, and I can't slink.
10:38Yeah, well, spies don't slink anymore.
10:40That's out.
10:41Besides, that was a pretty good slunk.
10:42That's one of the best slunks I ever saw.
10:44I'm not cut out for spying.
10:46Yes, you are.
10:47Well, besides, this assignment may have an effect on the whole security of our nation.
10:51You've got to help us.
10:53But why me?
10:54Because your country needs you.
10:57Oh, well, I don't like to get involved with violence.
11:00I deplore it.
11:01Well, look at children's books.
11:03They're filled with violence.
11:05But that's another kind.
11:07That's friendly violence.
11:08The people who kill each other like each other.
11:14Yes.
11:15Well, look.
11:15What if I promise to keep you away from anything that's brutal?
11:24Grubnick of Chaos knows about Miss Sage.
11:26He may be after her, too.
11:28Mimsy, autograph a book for me and use my full name, Maxwell.
11:34And one for my nephew, Montgomery.
11:36Well, if you really can.
11:37I mean, assure me that there'll be nothing unpleasant or physical.
11:40I promise you there'll be no violence.
11:42That was my thing, myself.
11:46And make out one for my Aunt George and my Uncle Robert and to anybody else.
11:56This is so different.
11:59I never thought I'd ever be a you-know-what.
12:02I mean, I never, uh, I never even wanted to be one.
12:09Ever.
12:12Mr. Smart, I hate to keep harping on this, but my only concern is that there'd be no violence.
12:17What happened?
12:18Oh, nothing.
12:19I just picked up a copy of War and Peace and got involved.
12:23Unbeknownst to you, Agent 86, and to your chief, I have had every phase of the transformation of Miss Sage into Amanda Crispin photographed by secret camera.
12:40Are you telling me that you took pictures of us without our knowing it?
12:45But that's dishonest.
12:46Why, that's spying, chief.
12:48The film's just come over from the lab.
12:50I haven't had a chance to see it yet.
12:51Therefore, I think that Mr. Smart would be much the better narrator.
12:55Shall we begin?
12:56Does this movie have a happy ending, Max?
13:00Don't worry, chief.
13:01I did everything you'd expect me to do.
13:05Sorry to hear that.
13:07Run the film, please.
13:38That's Mimsy, uh, Miss Sage.
13:47Our first problem was glasses.
13:49Mimsy wears them, Amanda doesn't.
13:51Contact lenses were a possibility, but there was always the danger Crispin would detect them.
13:56We decided to see if Mimsy, without glasses, could navigate across the room.
14:00We put some obstacles in our path.
14:05She passes the lab.
14:08She sees the ashtray on the stand.
14:12She sees the chair.
14:16Good.
14:22We're using contact lenses.
14:24As far as Amanda was concerned, doors were an accessory.
14:35She preferred to leap into a car.
14:37After we get out of the hospital, stop the film.
14:54I think it is hopeless to have anyone try to become her.
14:58Senator, I think you're making a big mistake.
15:01I don't think you should judge by a training film.
15:03I think you should judge by results.
15:05Gentlemen, may I present...
15:11Ms. Amanda Crispin.
15:16How do you do, Senator?
15:22Senator, so good to see you again.
15:26Amazing.
15:29It's a remarkable piece of work, Max.
15:32She certainly is.
15:33Now we can go ahead and contact Crispin.
15:36Exchange your student for the Crispin papers.
15:40Chief, Crispin's bound to learn that Mimsy isn't Amanda, isn't he?
15:46I imagine so, Max.
15:47Well, what'll happen to her?
15:49He'll kill her, Max.
15:50So you are the Maxwell Smart.
16:03Yes, I am the Maxwell Smart.
16:07Sit down, please.
16:13You're a surprise to me, Mr. Smart.
16:16For a man to have earned your reputation, I would have thought you older.
16:19Sir, I wasn't prepared for you to be as distinguished as you are.
16:24As handsome.
16:26But perhaps I'm embarrassing you.
16:28Oh, no.
16:29No, no, no, no, no.
16:30Not at all.
16:31We're trained to deal with the truth.
16:33Very good.
16:36May I offer you something?
16:38A cigarette?
16:39Oh, thank you.
16:44Light, Mr. Smart.
16:48Well, now, perhaps we should get down to the purpose of your visit.
16:52Yes, I think that would be advisable.
16:55As you know, Mr. Crispin, I came here to talk about Amanda.
17:02Do you have Amanda?
17:06Yes.
17:07But how do I know that after I turn Amanda over to you, you won't kill me?
17:12You don't.
17:13But how do I know that after I give you the Crispin papers, you won't kill me?
17:18You don't.
17:20Our safety, it seems, Mr. Smart, is in those don'ts.
17:25Yes.
17:25Well, Amanda is in the garden.
17:27I'll go and get her.
17:28This way is shorter.
17:29Yes, I know.
17:33You know?
17:34Yes.
17:35Well, what I mean is that you can see the garden through the glass on the window.
17:40That is, when the moonlight comes streaming through the curtains, you can see the...
17:45You could see the...
17:46I'll go get her.
17:48Well, Mimsy, this is it.
18:03The big moment.
18:05Max, I'm so nervous.
18:06My stomach feels all funny inside.
18:09They say in the theater it's good to be nervous before you go on.
18:13Is that all right in the spy business?
18:16Max, I'm going to miss you.
18:19I mean, now that the training is over, I'm going to miss you.
18:22I'm going to miss working with you.
18:24Listen to me.
18:25I sound like I've had a drink.
18:27Whenever I have even a little sip, I just say whatever I'm thinking, whatever's on my mind.
18:33Max, I'm so nervous.
18:35Yeah, just take it easy, Mimsy.
18:37Everything is going to be fine.
18:38I know you're going to be great.
18:40Honest.
18:41Honest.
18:42I sound like a character in one of my books.
18:45Shall we go?
18:46I won't let you down.
18:48What happens when he finds out Mimsy isn't Amanda?
18:54Go kill her, Max.
19:01Well, Crispin, here's your wife.
19:03Hello, Kinsy.
19:15Amanda, darling.
19:16And now, Crispin, if you don't mind, I'll take your papers.
19:22In a moment.
19:24Certainly an occasion such as this deserves a no-demand commemoration.
19:30Your favorite, my dear.
19:32Hold it.
19:33No drinking.
19:33Well, what I mean is that I'm not allowed to drink.
19:38You see, I'm on duty.
19:39Good.
19:40There'll be that much more left for us.
19:42Right, Amanda?
19:42No.
19:43Yes.
19:43The only woman I've ever known who can consume champagne as though it were bottled water.
19:53To us.
19:54I don't need it, Kinsy.
19:57I'm drunk with the pleasure of seeing you.
20:01Ah, that's not a bit like you, Amanda.
20:03You're not one to pass up Dom Perignon 59?
20:07To the summers of our life.
20:09Just one little sip and I can't stop drinking.
20:28Crispin, the papers.
20:31Ah, yes, the papers.
20:39Very ingenious.
20:58Mimsy, are you all right?
21:00You're cute.
21:01You know that?
21:02You're very cute.
21:03Stop that, Mimsy.
21:05It's your eyes.
21:05They're very sexy when you can find them.
21:09Mimsy, will you cut that coat?
21:14It's ironic, my dear, that these very papers you covered will be the instrument with which
21:19I shall once again have...
21:21Crispin, I'm running out of time and patience.
21:29Mimsy, will you stop it?
21:30Leave me alone.
21:32Now, just let's sit down.
21:36It may be hard for you to believe.
21:38That the delicate creature before you is actually a woman obsessed with a desire for power.
21:45She wanted these papers so that she could control chaos.
21:49Well, here's the key.
22:05Ah, the key.
22:06What key?
22:07The key to the statue of Zeus.
22:10Oh, that key.
22:10Yes, that's where I keep the papers.
22:12Isn't it appropriate that Zeus should deliver you your precious papers?
22:33I'll have those papers, Kinsey.
22:35Mimsy.
22:35Don't move, Smart.
22:44Mimsy.
22:45No, Mr. Smart.
22:47Not Mimsy.
22:49Not now or ever.
22:51Mimsy.
22:52Mimsy?
22:53Yes, Mimsy.
22:54Yes, Mimsy.
22:55Stay where you are.
22:57Or I'll kill you.
22:59You see, you were the only way I could get those papers from my husband.
23:04It would have been so much simpler if you'd just given them to me in the first place.
23:08Very well thought out, Amanda.
23:11But one slight miscalculation, as there always is.
23:15Behind you is my man, Gelson.
23:19I see no purpose in keeping you alive any longer, Mr. Smart.
23:24Just a moment.
23:25You've made one slight miscalculation yourself.
23:28If you'll glance over my shoulder, you'll see a statue of Aphrodite,
23:32which is not really a statue of Aphrodite, but our own control agent, 99.
23:37Well, very good.
23:39But Pluto, behind your Aphrodite, is my man, Bagel.
23:43So you see, Mr. Smart, you are in the hands of our gods.
23:47But only temporarily.
23:49Because behind your Pluto are Cabellus and Zathmary, two of our best control agents.
23:57I've run out of statues.
23:59Well, I haven't.
24:01I still have Bacchus, who happens to be the chief of control.
24:04Cabellus, Zathmary, take them downtown and turn in those costumes before midnight
24:08or we'll be charged double.
24:14All right, Max, now can we get inside?
24:16I'm cold.
24:17Say, you know, you've got nice legs, chief.
24:20Max!
24:20Especially the right one.
24:21I'm cold.
24:22I'm cold.
24:22I'm cold.
24:22I'm cold.
24:23I'm cold.
24:23I'm cold.
24:24I'm cold.
24:24I'm cold.
24:25I'm cold.
24:25I'm cold.
24:26I'm cold.
24:26I'm cold.
24:26I'm cold.
24:27I'm cold.
24:27I'm cold.
24:27I'm cold.
24:28I'm cold.
24:28I'm cold.
24:28I'm cold.
24:29I'm cold.
24:30I'm cold.
24:30I'm cold.
24:31I'm cold.
24:31I'm cold.
24:32I'm cold.
24:32I'm cold.
24:32I'm cold.
24:33I'm cold.
24:33I'm cold.
24:34I'm cold.
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