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Bigfoot USA
  • yesterday
https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00You
00:20Have to dance this hard unless someone's stuffing dollar bills down my pants
00:25At least we stopped bouncing. I almost lost a tooth on my own boob
00:30I noticed you've been working out more since you've been seeing that fella doing it for my health Mary
00:36Come on, how many dates you've been on now five four
00:41Last Thursday he swung by to bring you a coffee after his run. No, I'm not sure that counts as a date. You're missing the point
00:48She's all up in my business
00:50with her ring hair
00:53It's not like she's seeing anything juicy you haven't even kissed the guy I've kissed his cheek and
00:58And lingered terrific tossing a hard Canyon. You're as great. I am
01:03You say strongly and those of us that remain chaste don't get enough credit in today's world
01:09I'm gonna kiss him. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment
01:12Stop overthinking it right now all over the world millions of people are having their first sloppy wonderful kiss
01:20There's nothing to it
01:24See first kiss done easy peasy
01:26So which neighbor is spying on you you see that house with no lights on and that woman wearing night-vision goggles
01:41Maybe we should give her something to talk about maybe we shouldn't
01:43You know what I never understood boys to man, you know, just be man
01:54Here just let me
01:59Whoo
02:01Sure got hot in here it sure did I
02:06Mean can you turn the heat off? It's not on
02:09really
02:10Really?
02:11Okay
02:14Okay, where were we I think
02:18Right around
02:19Oh
02:20Lord not now
02:22Okay, okay backing off. No, it's not you. I'm having a hot flash
02:29Right, uh, how about I put on the AC yes, please full blast
02:33Oh mama bring it to me
02:38Is it helping maybe pump the gas get it blowing harder it doesn't really work that way
02:45Oh, I believe this is happening right now. Leigh-Ann, it's perfectly normal
02:50Have you ever been on the inside of one of these things? There's nothing normal about it
02:55Yeah, I'm sorry stupid man words
02:58Just give me a minute. It usually works its way down my head and out my knees
03:06Where is it now
03:10Everywhere I gotta go
03:13Well at least let me walk you to the door. I know where it is. I'll get there. I had a great time
03:19Me too
03:21Drive away now
03:23Don't look back
03:33I knew you still had the freak in you
03:37No hot flash big one
03:43Before or after the kiss there was no kiss just the smacking of my thighs as I ran from the car
03:48Did he notice? Did he notice?
03:55Maybe he thought they were just big polka dots
04:00No, that's metamucil
04:02Of course it is
04:04Just take me now Lord
04:07This is just what dating in your 50s looks like you don't think he's gonna bring something weird to the party
04:12Like what?
04:14Rogue hernia
04:16Something popping out where it shouldn't nothing popping out where it should
04:21Carol at our age we work with what we got there's no shame in any of it
04:26I miss being young everything was so easy back then
04:30Well, you certainly were
04:32Because I had hormones and hairspray and a VW bug with a pull-out cassette plate
04:41The little blue bomber whatever happened to that car?
04:44She overheated and broke down just like me
04:52Hey
04:53Hey
04:54How are you feeling this morning?
04:55Well, between my hot flash and your metamucil, I'm down a size
04:59At least you got something good out of menopause
05:01All I got was a mustache
05:04Any word from Andrew?
05:05No
05:06Well, as someone who has also been ghosted
05:09Let me just say
05:10A woman needs to feel secure in herself
05:12And not be defined by a man and where
05:14It's him! It's him!
05:18Good morning, Leanne
05:19When I read it, I can literally hear his voice
05:26Making sure we're still on for tomorrow night
05:28Happy face emoji
05:32I guess a little sweat's not gonna keep his paws out of the honey jar
05:36What should I text back?
05:38I got this
05:39Let's see
05:40Hell yeah
05:41Eggplant peach kitty cat emoji
05:45Are you crazy?
05:46I'm kidding
05:47Go ahead, send him your prayer hand
05:52Hey
05:53Hey
05:54Ew
05:56Well, it's nice to see you too
05:57You got my passport?
05:58Right here
05:59So you faking your death and moving to Venezuela?
06:03No, Carol, that's your boyfriend
06:06He's going on a work trip
06:08Here's your passport
06:09Thank you
06:11Neck pillow
06:12Right
06:13Compression socks
06:14Excellent
06:15And sunblock
06:16Yep, I gotta go
06:17Call you when I get there
06:30Sorry
06:31Yes?
06:33Goodbye
06:35Go, go, go, go, go
06:36Look
06:37What was that about?
06:46Nothing
06:48Muscle memory
06:50Force of habit
06:52You sure?
06:53Yeah, I'm sure
06:54Yeah
06:55It's like blowing your nose after you sneeze
06:57It's just something you do
06:58It's just something you do
07:00If you say so
07:02There's only one person I want to kiss
07:05Uh huh
07:06Watch this
07:08Can't wait to see you again
07:10Purple heart emoji
07:15See? Your girl still got it
07:18She's going after what she wants, uh huh
07:21What's up?
07:25Nothing
07:26Then why'd you want to see me again?
07:34I didn't have my readers on
07:35How?
07:39Daddy, the movie doesn't start till 7
07:41Well, you don't have to be first in line
07:44No, the seating's assigned
07:47If hooligans are in them, we'll make a move
07:50Battery dying, gotta go
07:53Respect your elders
07:54How? Why?
07:58You want me to pack you some apple slices for the movie?
08:00Want me to slap you across the face?
08:03Well, my wonderful wife doesn't want me eating sugar
08:06I used to watch you suck down pixie sticks for breakfast
08:08What happened to you?
08:11Went to a frat party
08:12Watched Nora win a limbo contest
08:14And here we are
08:19I've married for less
08:23Wow! Mom, look at you
08:27Thank you, my darling
08:28So, when do I get to meet this new boyfriend?
08:31Oh, he's not my boyfriend
08:33But you will someday
08:35We're taking things slow
08:37Very slow
08:39Nothing wrong with slow
08:40Cause once you cross that line
08:42There's no turning back
08:44Yeah
08:46No turning back
08:50I got you a little something
08:52Lip gloss and a misting fan
08:53Nothing can stop you now
08:55Thank you
08:56If I see a scrunchie on the doorknob
08:58I'll wait it out at Denny's
09:00No turning back
09:04No turning back
09:09Oh lord, it's happening again
09:10Oh lord, it's happening again
09:11in. Well, this is fun. What movie are we seeing? Better have a war in it. You know,
09:41Grandpa, it's a rom-com. What the hell is that? It's a romantic comedy. Unlock my door and speed up. I don't want to suffer. You tied our hands pretty tight. No sex, singing, or talking animals. So it was either this one or the one about aliens, but you said aliens count as animals. Hey, if I can hunt it, it's an animal. And I will when them little green bastards make their move. Gosh, John. Whatever you two picked will be perfect.
10:11Now give me my ticket so I have it ready for the usher. It's on my phone. Huh? What happens if you drop your phone in the toilet? How do we get in? If I drop my phone in the toilet, we are in.
10:24Your grandpa and I were first dating. We'd go to the movies all the time. And I'd save the ticket stubs in my memory box. Oh, that's sweet, Grandma.
10:36Sometimes we'd have to see a movie twice because we smooch so much. And if I couldn't tell my parents what happened in the movie, then they'd know I was up to no good.
10:48That right, Grandpa?
10:50I don't understand. How do you get the tickets out of the phone? You hook it up to a printer?
10:55I miss Jimmy Stewart.
10:59I miss sugar.
11:00I miss Chicago.
11:01You see? Men at work. No boys. Just some fully grown men and their Vegemite sandwiches.
11:12I'm sorry. I know that we should kiss. It's a normal thing. It's what we should do. It's what people do.
11:27And that's great when you're young, because a kiss is just a kiss. But when you're our age, a kiss leads to a relationship, and a relationship leads to sex, and those things lead to heartbreak.
11:42And I can't go through that again, no matter how wonderful you are.
11:49All right, you can turn the music back on.
11:54It's okay, Leanne.
11:55It doesn't feel that way.
11:57You're not ready. There's nothing wrong with that.
12:00I just don't want you to think it's you.
12:02I know it's not me. I mean, come on. I'm sexy even with people singing about Vegemite.
12:08You've been such an unexpected delight.
12:13You know, there was a time when I would have tried to talk you out of this, but...
12:17You're too old for that.
12:19You know what you want.
12:21Thank you for the best seven dates.
12:23It was only six.
12:26No, no. You brought me a coffee after your run.
12:29My neighbor says it counts.
12:30I swear if you keep spying on me, I'm going to spray paint your ring cam.
12:49I wasn't. I noticed your lights were on, and I thought maybe you and I could have a little girl's night.
12:56Did you know that I've had this gift basket sitting in my house for seven years?
13:01Read the card.
13:01Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss. Jerry was a wonderful man. I'm always here for you.
13:11Lovely, Anne.
13:13Always here for ya.
13:15Such sweet words.
13:21Well, I meant more like bringing your trash cans in, but...
13:24Come on in.
13:27You sure?
13:27I fixed myself a cup of tea. Can I make you one?
13:33No, but you can twist open that wine and get to pouring.
13:37Okay.
13:39My goodness. Can't believe we've never done this before.
13:43I can't believe we're doing it now.
13:47Oh, oh, oh. Don't be bashful now. Give me the country club pour.
13:51You're in an interesting mood.
14:08Oh, I thought we were going to have a little toast, but...
14:10Hit me again.
14:14Everything all right, Mary?
14:15Carol's kiss woke something up in me.
14:26Well, I wasn't expecting that.
14:28Give me a second to catch up.
14:37I think maybe that's something you should discuss with Carol.
14:41Although I should tell you, she's in a relationship.
14:43Granted, he's on the run.
14:47But she's kind of a one-fugitive gal.
14:51Oh, Leanne, don't be ridiculous. I didn't mean it like that.
14:54I just realized how starved for affection I have been since Jerry died.
15:00And Carol's kiss unleashed all that?
15:03Well, it wasn't the package I wanted it to come in, but it delivered the message.
15:11Hit me again!
15:13Why is she moving to Tuscany?
15:25She wants to start a new life, Mama.
15:28Well, she should start with a new haircut.
15:32Well, her hair represented the past.
15:35That's why she cut it off.
15:36What, are you in film school now?
15:44And what happened to that fellow with the beard?
15:48That was a preview from a different movie.
15:51I wish we were watching that one.
15:52He was handsome.
15:54Shh.
15:55Well, I'm sorry.
15:56He was.
15:58Mama, why is...
15:58Why is...
15:59Why is...
15:59Why is...
16:04Why...
16:04Does that statue have a penis?
16:09Where are your glasses?
16:11Well, I told Daddy to bring them.
16:12You shush my wife one more time, and you'll be snacking on your own teeth.
16:20John, you keep talking like that, you're gonna get a smooch.
16:27Switch seats with me.
16:28Did you know I go to strangers' funerals just so I can join the hug line?
16:41I did not.
16:43Let's get a turkey sandwich in you.
16:49I am so lonely, Leanne.
16:52But you know, no one would suspect it.
16:53They all look at me and say, there goes Mary, pillar of the community.
16:58She's got it all together.
17:01What a joke.
17:04It's roasted turkey, not pressed.
17:08And sure, God does not ask anything of us that we cannot handle,
17:12and you know how it goes, and...
17:14But making me a widow so young...
17:21Jerry and I had plans.
17:25We were gonna housewap with a family in Wyoming.
17:29What's in Wyoming?
17:31Oh, I don't know.
17:32It was Jerry's idea.
17:33You'd have to ask him, but you can't, because he's dead.
17:36It was a real left turn, buddy.
17:40Sometimes the Lord's plans don't make sense.
17:43Like an armadillo.
17:47Is it a rat or a rock?
17:48And no sense.
17:52But I let my grief take me out of the game.
17:55Not like you.
17:57I mean, you took your fall from grace, you dusted yourself off,
18:00and you had the courage to get on with your life.
18:03I don't know about that.
18:04Uh-uh, now is not the time to be humble.
18:08You weren't afraid to take a chance at your rage.
18:11Well, now I'll look at you.
18:14Little pep in your step.
18:17You've dropped a few pounds, yeah, I've noticed.
18:22And you've got a handsome new boyfriend who's just crazy about you.
18:27You're my hero.
18:34I'm no hero, Mary.
18:37I broke up with that wonderful, kind, amazing man.
18:43And why?
18:44Because I'm scared out of my mind.
18:46So don't be surprised if you're standing in one of those funeral lines,
18:51and I'm the stranger you're hugging.
18:55This needs more mayo.
18:56FYI, no one thinks you're a pillar of the community.
19:26I did not think tonight was the night I'd see my parents make out.
19:33Excuse me?
19:35Yeah, you had to be there.
19:38Actually, be glad you weren't.
19:40Wait, wine glasses, pajamas?
19:42Is Agent Andrew upstairs?
19:43No, but Mary's passed out on the couch.
19:46Tyler, can you wake her up and walk her home?
19:49Sure.
19:52All right, Mrs. Rhodes.
19:54How about I get you back to your house?
19:56Okie dokie.
19:58I live in Miami.
20:01No kidding.
20:02And we better get going.
20:04So how did a date with Andrew turn into drinks with Mary?
20:07Because that's my life.
20:09No, did he cancel?
20:10Worse.
20:11I ended things.
20:13What?
20:13Why would you do that?
20:14Because I'm old, and I'm a coward,
20:16and none of this works the way it used to.
20:19Why couldn't I have met him in my 20s?
20:21Oh, all right, enough.
20:24I don't want to hear any more about you being past your prime,
20:26because you're not.
20:27We sit around all the time and talk about how great we were in the 80s,
20:31but back then it was all,
20:32our boobs aren't big enough,
20:33our hair's not high enough,
20:35our leg warmers aren't warm enough.
20:36We criticized ourselves left and right,
20:39and we were gorgeous.
20:41So gorgeous.
20:42And guess what?
20:43Ten years from now,
20:44you're going to look back on today
20:45and wish you were this young again.
20:47You want a date,
20:48you don't want a date,
20:49that's up to you.
20:50But don't waste this moment by not living in it.
20:58I'm not going to lie,
20:59I got some of that from the movie tonight.
21:03But if it worked on that prostitute,
21:04it'll work on you.
21:09All right, Mrs. Rhodes, home.
21:12Safe and sound.
21:14Oh.
21:15Tyler.
21:16Tyler, I have known you forever.
21:20You can call me Mary.
21:24Okay.
21:25Well, good night, Mary.
21:27Good night.
21:29Oh!
21:29Oh!
21:46We in?
21:49Are you okay?
22:08Yeah.
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