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BF For Hire 2024 Full Movie Watch Now
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:43See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, though.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:14Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42There's one thing you can do, like one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy?
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:04I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:39Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:48Look at you right now.
02:50Okay, fair enough.
02:52Yeah.
02:53And...
02:54Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude.
02:58You have a match.
02:59And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my god, let me see.
03:04Swoonworthy.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Local athlete.
03:07He has a five star rating.
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:14Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing you have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:21Let's see.
03:22Wait, what are you doing?
03:23Uh...
03:24Done.
03:25You're meeting him today.
03:26Today?
03:27Yeah.
03:28Like, this today.
03:29This one.
03:30So...
03:31Let's get dressed.
03:32Zoe!
03:33Yeah!
03:34Zoe!
03:35Come on!
03:36That is too soon!
03:37Damon!
03:38Hey!
03:39I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:32You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Oh, man.
05:01What?
05:02This is epic.
05:03This is a mistake.
05:04Look, forget about everything.
05:05You can even keep the money.
05:06Oh, no, no, no.
05:07You can't get away that easy.
05:08Please.
05:09Don't tell Jake about this.
05:10Okay.
05:11I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great, I'm in.
05:28No.
05:29Look, we can't do that.
05:30He's your brother.
05:31Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:44Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:59Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:06Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:12That's his birthday party.
06:14Exactly.
06:15That's his birthday party.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:23Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:28I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:34Okay, okay, yeah.
06:35What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:40Um...
06:41We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:49It's not lame.
06:50It's believable.
06:52No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:59What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:04Well...
07:06Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:12I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love it.
07:17Second sight.
07:19Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:23I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:29No more of that.
08:31Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing without it.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:47I guess I'm just nervous.
08:49Don't worry.
08:50I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:57Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:04I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still have time for math leads.
09:13I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but I still pay attention.
09:22You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coral.
09:30Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious.
09:33I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:41Claire?
09:42We're here.
09:43People are looking.
09:44Why are they looking?
09:45They're looking because you're with me.
09:46When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
09:51When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:04What are you doing enough?
10:06What were you doing, right?
10:07What are you doing?
10:09You feel the same.
10:10What are you doing?
10:11You're looking because you're with me.
10:12When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:43I'm going to give this drinks.
10:53I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town party.
11:13No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my God, there he is.
11:28Oh my God, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:32Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:48It's time to AF this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So wait, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:27Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:41Cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Hey, Claire.
13:19You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:47He said he was going to be by my side the entire night.
13:48And I thought we were...
13:50Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little
14:01box, it all comes crashing down around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where, probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:16Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that, left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:23Of course.
14:24What?
14:25Wait, wait, wait, wait.
14:26Where are you going?
14:27Home.
14:28And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:30I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:32Hey, talk to me.
14:33You just left me in there.
14:34I know.
14:35I'm sorry.
14:36I wasn't thinking.
14:37I don't care anymore Damon!
14:38Look, you were right, Jake's an ass.
14:39So, the plan...this...it's over.
14:58What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:06You could have your pick of any girl out there,
15:08so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that? Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay? You never were.
15:26I don't want a fake day with you anymore, all right?
15:31I want a real one.
15:35I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:41Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
16:05Come on. Slapshot 239. Pick me home.
16:13Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah. Just make sure these two dots match, so make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay. I'm trusting the process. I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date. But Thamen's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:38Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way. I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And, of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:08Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:12Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:16Why did you even hear that, anyway?
17:19I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels.
17:24That looks pretty good.
17:26But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:29It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:34Yes, Damon. My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:43I mean, at least he's hot.
17:46So hot.
17:49It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:52Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:55I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:01Jay-Zoey.
18:03J-Zoey.
18:05Absolutely not.
18:07Well, more Zoey for me.
18:09Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:14Oh, it's Damon!
18:16Or should I say Clareman?
18:18Clareman.
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can.
18:22Clareman.
18:23But you better, cause we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay.
18:26Bye!
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes!
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone, I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun, and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:13I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be?
19:17Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win in Queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win in Queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year,
19:36because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen, and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:02Wow! And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:12You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature,
20:14maybe you should skip the dance together and get a cheese board and, you know,
20:18talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:22Oh, look! Someone my age is calling.
20:26I didn't mean- Claire!
20:28Bye!
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire! Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:44Whoa. Did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress. What's up?
20:50Cool. Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know,
20:58make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:06Is Chelsea gonna be upset if we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aww, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:28I really am sorry.
21:30I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:36It's fine. It's fine. Just...
21:40At least she'll be there. Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:52It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:56Grand romantic gestures.
21:58Jinx!
22:00Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:02Whoa.
22:04Whoa. Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:10I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah. You neither.
22:24I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:30Well, how about either way we make it happen. One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:36As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year!
22:42It was both.
22:44Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What? You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God. My eyes!
22:55Stop it! My eyes!
22:57What, like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on. Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see. By all means.
23:08Oh, uh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it. I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:38Hello? Hello?
23:53Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow. You look incredible.
23:59Thanks. Are you... are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:13I don't know. I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I... I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20God, how do you... how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?!
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43Wait, what?
24:46Nothing! Nothing!
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:58This part always gets me.
25:19Yes!
25:21Yes, yes, it is so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What? No.
25:29I mean, I'm not NOT watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe, tell me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:50Well, since I've been away for two weeks,
25:53I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day
25:56and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:58Um...
26:00Crap, crap, crap.
26:02Um...
26:04Nico...
26:05Guitar...
26:06Flames is calling?
26:07Who's that?
26:08I...
26:09I completely forgot.
26:10I have a...
26:11A lesson.
26:12Ow!
26:13Is this why you've gotten someone to guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student.
26:20And my favorite student's...
26:22Friend?
26:23We...
26:24We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:28Oh, yes.
26:29I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not her friend.
26:38I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who...
26:41Who was just leaving.
26:43Bye, Demon.
26:44I mean, I can stay.
26:45I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48But no!
26:49I...
26:50I mean...
26:51No!
26:52No!
26:53She's right.
26:54Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:58Or three.
26:59Oh, no.
27:00Almost never three.
27:05Young love.
27:06Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love?
27:08Who said?
27:09I...
27:10I don't...
27:11We...
27:12I...
27:13We don't...
27:14Um...
27:15Have you ever been in love?
27:17Of course.
27:18Yeah.
27:19I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:22I mean...
27:23Not a...
27:24Bunch of times.
27:25The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of...
27:28Pressure.
27:29On when to say it.
27:30You know?
27:31There's just...
27:32There's a lot of stress.
27:33And then...
27:34You don't know who should say it first.
27:35Or...
27:36When you should say it.
27:37Or if...
27:38If they'll ever say it back.
27:39And...
27:40Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:50Should we begin?
27:51Yeah.
27:52Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe.
28:00What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome.
28:07I'm...
28:08I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:12So...
28:14Here's a funny...
28:15Little question...
28:16For ya.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:19Niko...
28:22Yeah.
28:23He's...
28:24He's not even that good looking.
28:25Like, at all.
28:26Oh, no.
28:27He's a solid 9.5.
28:28And then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's...
28:32It's weird.
28:33You know?
28:34We...
28:35She's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:37And...
28:38We're watching movies...
28:39They both like.
28:40Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar
28:43player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay.
28:51I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me, and not him.
29:00I just don't get it.
29:01I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:04I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:07Yeah, Damon, I don't know.
29:08Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:11Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe?
29:12Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:19Yeah.
29:20Is that weird?
29:21I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Eh, okay.
29:25You're right.
29:26You're good friends, though.
29:27Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress.
29:30I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:35Look who's on that.
29:36Yeah.
29:37Thanks, y'all.
29:38I'll see you tomorrow.
29:39Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow.
29:52Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower.
29:54He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:04What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher?
30:14Probably not.
30:15Oh, that's right.
30:16She starts signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah.
30:20I set them up.
30:21He's amazing.
30:22So, so talented.
30:24So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:32I don't know.
30:33I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great.
30:35So this is your fault.
30:36Thanks a lot.
30:37Where was I?
30:38Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:41That's not true.
30:43I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:46Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages.
31:07You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation
31:12with.
31:13Are you?
31:14But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:18Oh yeah, but what, huh?
31:20Hockey?
31:21And then hockey?
31:22Oh, of course, right.
31:23There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love, and it's kinda boring.
31:29I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:32Like Claire.
31:33And I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob,
31:40alright?
31:41Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced
31:48us to hang out with each other more than either of us would've liked, and she's actually
31:52kind of... interesting.
31:55So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
32:00Yeah.
32:01It's actually not terrible advice.
32:05Considered my birthday gift to you.
32:07Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go, before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go, before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye!
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay.
32:25Whatever.
32:26Thanks.
32:27Bye.
32:40Hey!
32:41I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon.
32:46Um, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:49And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise, but...
32:54I just...
32:56I didn't think I could wait.
33:01Okay.
33:02You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:15You make me wanna laugh when I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19Like you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:27I have to say...
33:29Bye.
33:31I love you.
33:34I love you too.
33:37Mom and Stealer.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:54Huh.
33:55Love.
33:56And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But, she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I, I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:17Okay.
34:19Babe?
34:20Yeah?
34:21Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I, I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:25Yes, please.
34:31Blue, white, baby, as bright as the sky.
34:34Hit it in the clouds and then we fell so high.
34:37I think you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:41I have to say, I love you.
34:42Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:57Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there, that looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:06Not really, but yeah.
35:09Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that?
35:17Claire, I'm, I'm playing with you.
35:19I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:29Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:34Please, do not ever google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon, there's no going back.
35:51Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:56No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just...
35:59I don't know.
36:00We dated for so long, it feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:05And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:16I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:19You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:22Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh my god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:34What?
36:35Why would you say that?
36:36So...
36:37I didn't even think of it like that.
36:39God, he's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, he thinks a lot.
36:47It's just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:51Ah, it's Damon!
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
37:01Hey.
37:04You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:11I'll let it slide.
37:13Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:14Bad news?
37:15No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:16Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to like live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:37So you remember.
37:38She's back.
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:44Do you mind if I rain check?
37:45Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that.
37:54I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise.
37:56She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:06Actually, uh, do not.
38:07She is the literal girl version of you.
38:08That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:09Trust me, it's strictly a friend hat.
38:10I don't know.
38:11I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:12You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:13Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:14I'm being serious.
38:15We both have exes, Claire.
38:16Come on.
38:17Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:18Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:19Okay, we don't want to fight.
38:20I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:22I was hoping this could be our special-
38:24She's here.
38:25I gotta go.
38:26Love you.
38:27Bye.
38:28Bye.
38:29Bye.
38:30Bye.
38:31Bye.
38:32Bye.
38:33Bye.
38:34Bye.
38:35Bye.
38:36Bye.
38:37Bye.
38:38Bye.
38:39Bye.
38:40Bye.
38:41Bye.
38:42Bye.
38:43Bye.
38:44Bye.
38:45Bye.
38:46Bye.
38:47Bye.
38:48Bye.
38:49Bye.
38:50Bye.
38:51Bye.
38:52Bye.
38:53Bye.
38:54Bye.
38:55Bye.
38:56Bye.
38:57Bye.
38:58Bye.
38:59Bye.
39:00Bye.
39:01Bye.
39:02Bye.
39:03Bye.
39:04Bye.
39:05Bye.
39:06Bye.
39:07Bye.
39:08Bye.
39:09Bye.
39:10Bye.
39:11Bye.
39:12Bye.
39:13Bye.
39:14Bye.
39:15the Philippines? Thailand. And just for the year, sadly. Damon finally moving on must have triggered
39:22her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night. Claire, she's an influencer,
39:27not a comic book villain. Same difference. Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean
39:32anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird? He showered. Okay, he's pretty. He does that.
39:41Anything else? I trust Damon. I don't trust her. Shit. She just posted a story. I can't look at it.
39:52She'll know. She has 80,000 followers. She's not going to see your name. I can't look, Zoe. Look.
40:00What is it? Are they kissing? Are they back together? Okay, maybe you should look at it
40:06so you can stop freaking out.
40:11Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it. We're going to get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping. This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives. I'm allowed
40:36to be disappointed. But you're being insane. Damon loves you. He's not getting back together
40:41with Natasha. Did you see the photo? He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with
40:47me, not her. They're not snuggling. And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect
40:52night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader. You didn't tell him about
40:57this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader. What's going
41:02on? Why are you taking my side on this? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying
41:07that, like, whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:26Hi.
41:27You calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing. Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can
41:38take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing. What? Nothing.
41:42Nothing, nothing? Or something, nothing?
41:45You were right. That was a bad idea. It was stupid for me to think we could just hang
41:49as friends. She hasn't changed at all. I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and
41:53she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait. You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried. Look, I'm really sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have put myself in that
42:02position. Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way. Are you kidding? You're the only person I want to kiss. Like, ever.
42:10Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up? I'm outside.
42:16You're here? Wait, are you sure? I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please. You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:24100%. But do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on. Let me up.
42:39Keep going. Now, target zone for the tree. Punch it right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down. Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:46Now, Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning. Who need to get some
42:52mushy after sex? That's awesome. And he took me out for breakfast. Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times. Oh, well, now I guess I said it five. Anyway, did you hear that Natasha
43:05pays for her followers? How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts. Let's go.
43:12Uppercuts. Target zone. Where is it? Underneath the chin. Elbows tied to the body.
43:15Now.
43:17Wow. That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa. Are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad. I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it. I mean...
43:29No, Claire. I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started
43:34dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right? And then Damon
43:40came. And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon. And now Damon's
43:45calling me to talk about you. And I am tired of it. We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend. And you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend. And you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend. But I don't think it's
44:04fair to say that I've been a bad friend. I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something
44:10huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god. What? Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually... great. I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious.
44:22But it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything. This is so exciting. Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important? I want to know who stole my bestie's heart. Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything. It just kind of happened. I didn't think we'd get along so well, but
44:44she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl. I mean, that shrinks the pool a little,
44:54but you still haven't given me a good enough hint. Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's
44:58just like the honeymoon phase talking. I don't know. I don't know what we are. It's like we're
45:05dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet. I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated
45:11for Chelsea. What does Chelsea have to do with this? Because I'm the first girl she's ever
45:18been with. I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:22Chelsea. What does Chelsea have to do with this? Because I'm the first girl she's ever
45:28been with. Hold on. You're dating Chelsea? Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea. Are you kidding
45:38me? We hate Chelsea. You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake. We care about me, right? So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair. Especially because she wasn't even that into him. I'm sorry, what? She weaseled
45:54into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him? Claire, why are you so
46:00wrapped up in that? Aren't you in heaven with Damon? Because I haven't heard you shut up
46:04about him in the last three months. Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear
46:08of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself. I would have talked you out of it.
46:13You don't even know her, Claire. Seems like I don't know either of you. And whose fault
46:18is that? Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast, but as soon as I share
46:24an important detail of my love life for once, you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment
46:29it on everyone below you. I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh. How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross. I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking
46:59long enough for you to tell her. That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know. It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally
47:12respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you, and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited
47:34for me. Whatever. I don't need her. I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history
47:45to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns
47:54over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns
48:01over the years being the needy one. Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm
48:08over it. I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some
48:13reason with Claire, you just bottled it up, and it's like, it's like you forgot how to
48:17stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with,
48:21me and Damon did this, and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us?
48:28Or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:40Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea? Did I open a curse box? Was I a serial killer in a past life? What horrible karma
49:05am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:21No, do you?
49:23No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah. Another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing. I just... I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:02No, no. I just... I think it's... maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:31Okay. I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:56Pick up. Please pick up.
50:57Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world?
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked.
51:17I'm just... I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be...
51:37My person.
51:39If you're happy...
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:47And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I checked.
52:05I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should have told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:25Wait...
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:42You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
52:55So, let's go.
52:56Let's go.
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