- 2 days ago
BF For Hire 2024 Full Movie on Machine.CinemaTV
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:43See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, though.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:14Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42There's one thing you can do, like one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy?
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:04I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:39Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:48Look at you right now.
02:50Okay, fair enough.
02:52Yeah.
02:53And...
02:54Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude.
02:58You have a match.
02:59And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my god, let me see.
03:04Swoonworthy.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Local athlete.
03:07He has a five star rating.
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:14Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing you have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:21Let's see.
03:22Wait, what are you doing?
03:23Uh...
03:24Done.
03:25You're meeting him today.
03:26Today?
03:27Yeah.
03:28Like, this today.
03:29This one.
03:30So...
03:31Let's get dressed.
03:32Zoe!
03:33Yeah!
03:34Zoe!
03:35Come on!
03:36That is too soon!
03:37Damon!
03:38Hey!
03:39I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:32You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Oh, man.
05:01What?
05:02This is epic.
05:03This is a mistake.
05:04Look, forget about everything.
05:05You can even keep the money.
05:06Oh, no, no, no.
05:07You can't get away that easy.
05:08Please.
05:09Don't tell Jake about this.
05:10Okay.
05:11I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great, I'm in.
05:28No.
05:29Look, we can't do that.
05:30He's your brother.
05:31Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:44Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:59Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:06Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:12That's his birthday party.
06:14Exactly.
06:15That's his birthday party.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:23Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:28I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:34Okay, okay, yeah.
06:35What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:40Um...
06:41We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:49It's not lame.
06:50It's believable.
06:52No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:59What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:04Well...
07:06Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:12I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love it.
07:17Second sight.
07:19Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:23I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:29No more of that.
08:31Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing without it.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:47I guess I'm just nervous.
08:49Don't worry.
08:50I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:57Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:04I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still have time for math leads.
09:13I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but I still pay attention.
09:22You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coral.
09:30Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious.
09:33I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:41Claire?
09:42We're here.
09:43People are looking.
09:44Why are they looking?
09:45They're looking because you're with me.
09:46When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
09:51When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:01People are looking.
10:02Why are they looking?
10:04They're looking because you're with me.
10:05When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun.
10:09because you're with me, and when you're with me you actually get to have some fun from it.
10:39I'm gonna give this drinks. I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:11You and the town hottie?
11:13No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together. Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:30See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to one special girl.
11:48It's time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say never have I ever?
11:59Woo!
12:00I knew!
12:01Let's play.
12:03I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:19Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:22Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh.
12:29Cute.
12:30Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:38Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:39Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:41Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
12:43Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
12:44Oh.
12:45Face it, Klaire.
12:47I'm pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:52Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire. Hey, Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything. It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:47He said he was going to be by my side the entire night, and I thought we were...
13:52Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little
14:01box, it all comes crashing down around me.
14:04And now, the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where, probably
14:09setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:16Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:35Of course.
14:36What?
14:37Just...
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:39Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry.
14:42I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Wait.
14:46Talk to me.
14:47You just left me in there.
14:49I know.
14:50I'm sorry.
14:51I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:53Look, you were right.
14:54Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan...
14:58This...
14:59It's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app
15:10and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:14What?
15:15I deactivated my account.
15:17Why would you do that?
15:19Look, I know.
15:20I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:23You never were.
15:26I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:28Alright?
15:30I want...
15:33a real one.
15:37I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:40Well, maybe I realize that...
15:43you're the rest worth taking.
15:44You're the rest worth taking.
16:06Come on.
16:07Slapshot 239.
16:10Pick me home.
16:16Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:18Yeah.
16:19Just...
16:20make sure these two dots match.
16:21They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay.
16:25I'm trusting the process.
16:26I'm just glad we get to go SAG together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:30No date.
16:31But Damon's really not coming?
16:33I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way!
16:45I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And, of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:55Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:02Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Cause I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:18I don't even remember.
17:19You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon.
17:35My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:48It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:55As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:00J-Z-O-E.
18:03J-Z-O-E.
18:04J-Z-O-E.
18:05Absolutely not.
18:07Well, more Zoe for me.
18:09Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:14Oh, it's Damon!
18:16Or should I say Clareman?
18:17Clareman.
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can.
18:21Clareman.
18:22But you better, cause we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay. Bye!
18:25Bye!
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes!
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:51You're not gonna be alone. I thought you were rolling with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:10What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:12I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be?
19:16Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year.
19:36Because I would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen.
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:45Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:01Wow! And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together and get a cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:22Oh, look. Someone my age is calling.
20:26I-I didn't mean-Claire!
20:28Bye!
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire! Hey! Um, thanks for picking up.
20:44Whoa! Did-did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress. What's up?
20:50Cool. Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:01You mean if we win?
21:03Uh, we're gonna win.
21:06Is Chelsea gonna be upset if, when we win?
21:11If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:15Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire. I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:28I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back...
21:34I-I-I would.
21:36It's fine.
21:38It's fine. Just...
21:40At least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances. I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know. It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
21:58Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:02Whoa. Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:06Yeah.
22:08I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:11And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:19Yeah. You neither.
22:21I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way we make it happen. One dance before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:36As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:44Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What? You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God. My eyes!
22:55Stop it! My eyes!
22:56What? Like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on. Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see. By all means.
23:07Oh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it. I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:37Hello? Hello?
23:52Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:55Wow. You look incredible.
23:59Thanks. Are you... are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:05Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:13I don't know. I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I... I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:21God, how do you... how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:33You're coming?
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43I'm crying for my chit-chit-chit.
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing. Nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:54And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:59Okay.
25:00This part always gets me.
25:06Yes!
25:08Yes!
25:09Yes!
25:10It is so sad.
25:11Are you watching hockey right now?
25:13What? No.
25:15I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:18Come on, babe.
25:19Tell me some slack.
25:20It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:22This is a classic Damon.
25:23Anybody who was anybody who's seen this.
25:26Classics just card for old.
25:28I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:31Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:33Well, since I've been away for two years I want to go out and a half!
25:36This is a classic Damon.
25:38I think this is a classic Damon.
25:40That's a classic Damon.
25:41All right.
25:42I've missed the classic Damon.
25:43I'm also a classic Damon.
25:45I mean, I'm gonna play in the second one.
25:47What's the plan?
25:48What's the plan for tomorrow?
25:49Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day, and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:59Crap, crap, crap.
26:02Um, Nico Guitar Flames is calling? Who's that?
26:07I, I completely forgot. I have a lesson now.
26:13Is this why you've gotten someone to Guitar Lane?
26:15Hey, my favorite student, and my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes. I see you took my recommendation. Such a classic.
26:33Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:36I'm not her friend. I'm her boyfriend.
26:38Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving. Bye, Demon.
26:43I mean, I can stay.
26:45I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:47But, no! I, I mean...
26:50No! No!
26:52She's right. Music is so personal. So intimate. Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no. Almost never three.
27:04Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love. Who said...
27:07Love. Who said...
27:08I, I don't... we...
27:10I, I, we don't... um...
27:13Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course.
27:18Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:21I mean, not a, not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it.
27:29You know? There's just, there's a lot of stress.
27:31And then, yeah, you don't know who should say it first.
27:33Or when you should say it. Or if they'll ever say it back.
27:37And...
27:39Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:46Should we begin?
27:48Should we begin?
27:50Yeah!
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe! What's up? How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:03That's awesome. I'm, I'm also good.
28:08You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:21Nico.
28:23Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking, like at all.
28:27Oh no, he's a solid 9.5 and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:30I just think it's, it's weird. You know, we, she's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:36And we're watching movies they both like.
28:39Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:46Zoe.
28:47Zoe.
28:48Okay.
28:50I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:55I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
28:59I just don't get it. I mean, she's being so secretive about it. I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon, I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I going to talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:17Jake?
29:19Yeah. Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:22Yeah, okay. You're right. You're good friends, though. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:28Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:32Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow? Look who's on that.
29:35Yeah. Thanks, Zoe. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:48Hey, birthday boy.
29:49Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding. Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right. She starts signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:18Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:25What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:32I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:39That's not, that's not true. I listen.
30:44Whatever. Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico. Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:54I wouldn't expect her smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:58What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:02Music, art, culture, languages? You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with. Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:16Oh yeah, but what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:23Seriously, though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love, and it's kind of boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:30Like what?
31:32Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob, alright?
31:39Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked, and she's actually kind of... interesting.
31:55So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah. It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:07Thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:22Bye!
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:26Thanks, bye.
32:37Hey!
32:39I was just gonna call you.
32:42You're all dressed up.
32:44Damon.
32:46I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:49And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise, but...
32:53I just...
32:55I didn't think I could wait.
32:56You're the cream in the coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:14You make me wanna laugh and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:17Like, you're the one.
33:19So, there's one thing I must do.
33:23I have to say...
33:28I...
33:30I love you.
33:34I love you too.
33:36Moments dealer.
33:37I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:40I love you so much, Claire.
33:42And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and, and she told me not to worry.
33:49And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:52Huh.
33:54Well...
33:56And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But, she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:05I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles.
34:13Deal?
34:14Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I, I worked really hard on it.
34:23Yes, please.
34:30Blue-white baby as bright as the sky
34:33Hit it in the clouds and then we fell so high
34:36I think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do
34:44I have to say
34:47I love you
34:48Do do do do do do do do do do
34:52Do do do do do do do
34:53Wanna do do do do do do do?
34:57Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, did not leave me there, that looks like trash.
35:03Do you have time to do a load of laundry.
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that.
35:16Claire, I'm playing with you. I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward. Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that. Ever.
35:41You're not helping. So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon. There's no going back.
35:52Going back to what? To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No. Not talking. Just...
36:00I don't know. We dated for so long, it feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time. She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire. I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal. You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh my god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake. Think about all that experience.
36:33Why would you say that? So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls. What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot. It's just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Ah, thanks Damon.
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
36:56Bye.
36:56You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:11You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:29Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great. So you remember. She's back.
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:45Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:52Hmm, let me think about that.
37:54I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise. She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her, like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:06Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend act.
38:17I don't know. I know who you guys were when you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire. Come on.
38:28Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:31Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, we don't want to fight.
38:35We just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special...
38:42She's here. I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:44I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Ha ha. Funny.
39:03You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow. Which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Ha ha.
39:14Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand.
39:17And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense,
39:23and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:38Okay.
39:39He's pretty.
39:40He does that.
39:42Anything else?
39:44I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:48Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:51I can't look at it.
39:52She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers.
39:54She's not gonna see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe.
39:57You look.
40:00What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:04Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:08Why would you have me look at that?
40:17This is it.
40:21We're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:29Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:36I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:50And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at
40:54him for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a
40:59mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like, whatever.
41:09I gotta go.
41:10Don't trip.
41:11I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:12Hi.
41:27You calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing.
41:31Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can
41:38take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing.
41:40What?
41:41Nothing.
41:41Nothing, nothing, or something, nothing.
41:45You were right.
41:46That was a bad idea.
41:47It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all.
41:51I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait.
41:57You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried.
42:00Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:01I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:04Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way.
42:06Are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:08Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But do I see some black silk under there?
42:30I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on.
42:32Let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the tree punches, right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down.
42:44Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:46Now, Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:51Who need to get some mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome.
42:56And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts, let's go.
43:12Uppercuts, target zone, where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin, elbow tight to the body.
43:16Now.
43:17Wow, that's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:23Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad, I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean, no, Claire, I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance
43:32that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:34I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came, and the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon,
43:44and now Damon's calling me to talk about you, and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend,
44:03but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean, well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend
44:09has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:13Oh, my God.
44:14What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:19I've been seeing someone, and it's getting pretty serious,
44:22but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:42I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little,
44:54but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect,
44:58and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating,
45:06but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:18Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake,
45:41and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:54She weaseled into our two-year relationship
45:56because she wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him
46:04in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough
46:08to hear of your disastrous plan
46:09to date the she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:13You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you
46:21exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail
46:25of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse,
46:28and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh.
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies
46:49was a tin,
46:50then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy,
46:57but at least Claire stopped talking long enough
46:59for you to tell her.
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know.
47:04It's hard because I don't even know
47:06what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend
47:09because you and Jake just broke up,
47:11and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night,
47:15it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:17Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you,
47:25and I haven't been this happy with someone
47:27in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head
47:31out of her butt for five seconds
47:33to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire
47:43out of my life forever,
47:44you guys have way too much history
47:45to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:48Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever,
47:53and I'm sure you've taken your turns
47:54over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:59You guys have been friends forever,
48:00and I'm sure you've taken your turns
48:01over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type
48:10to not say what's on your mind,
48:12but for some reason with Claire,
48:14you just bottle it up,
48:15and it's like you forgot
48:16how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation
48:21with me and Damon did this
48:22and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me
48:25you haven't had a single chance
48:27to tell her about us
48:28or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back
48:31because you knew how she'd respond?
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize,
48:37but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:43Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49All right, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:54Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
49:00Did I open a curse box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due
49:06that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'll be a serial killer
49:16in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:21No, do you?
49:23No.
49:24Look, she has just weaseled her way
49:25through our entire friend group,
49:27and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds.
49:29Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah.
49:32Another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing.
49:42I just...
49:43I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool.
49:46Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So, maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you
49:51could be something serious.
49:54Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were gonna act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no.
50:03I just...
50:03I think it's...
50:05Maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone
50:08who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:12She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:15You know I'm on your side,
50:16but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but...
50:27I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:34I am going to give her
50:37the best, best friend apology
50:39she's ever had.
50:40You got this.
50:41I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me,
50:45even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course.
50:50You got this.
50:56Pick up.
50:56Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been
51:01the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say
51:05been so selfish to someone
51:07who's always been there for me,
51:09but yours works, too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know.
51:15I freaked.
51:17I'm just...
51:17I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:28Claire.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way
51:32about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be...
51:37my person.
51:39If you're happy...
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours,
51:49and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours,
51:55and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately,
52:02they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I chipped.
52:10I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid
52:15that you were gonna freak out,
52:16which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably
52:19the worst person for this to happen with,
52:21but if you guys just gave each other a chance,
52:23I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait.
52:29Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:30But if you like her,
52:34I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:42You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night
52:45wasn't just your special night?
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